#bc it's such a Heavy comic & i love it so much & i always felt Terrible recommending it to people only for them to be disgusted

[talentforlying]

one of these days i'm going to write up all that i've changed from azzarello's bullshit era and the one (1) piece i've kept from milligan (and also changed) and the only thing currently stopping me is that it is going to be so, so inside-baseball incomprehensible. and i almost never want to go reading/screencapping azzarello and milligan to add references but i Want to add references.

canon is goop, just know that we continue to ride the bus down "hellblazer ended at #250 and looks like swiss cheese before that" street.

[lunataurora]

Wait crybaby got everything wrong? It's the only devilman media I've interacted with, and I only watched it bc an animator I like worked on it. And even now I feel like vomiting when I think about it bc it just fucked me up dude. The whole thing felt like the sole purpose was to shock the audience with emotional, psychological, physical, and sexual violence D:

👉👈🥺 what is...the good devilman media?

wwjhd aaaaa oh man im so sorry you had to experience all that!! i know how you feel!! it was so awful and gut wrenching i had to stop watching 😖

im really particular abt what the best version of devilman is, there's quite a lot of iterations out there with varying amounts of gore and genuine awfulness

imo The Best form to consume devilman is the original manga(from the 70s),

im not even completely sure what to say, its basically one of the best horror mangas ive ever read, features two girlbosses, its got a few accidentally really funny scenes, honestly it plays with emotions really well, there are scenes that are intended to shock you but i feel like theyre handled really well as dramatic plot points, like i think reading this was the first time i felt so much connection and dread thru any media that i could feel my entire heart drop in reaction to only a single panel. the gore isn't intensely graphic overall, there are a few scenes I'd consider fairly grotesque, but this is from memory so im not sure how accurate i am abt that..... tw for child death, body horror, im not sure if they did this in crybaby too but there's mild transphobia due to assigning certain genitalia to sexual orientation(tho i recently found out that was go nagai's only choice in order to get past censorship and include a gay character,,, so 🙄 idk. i think he did what he had to and what he had to do wasnt alright), tw for animal death, like brutal depiction of dead animals near the beginning, there's lots of nudity, lots of boobs... sorry its been a while, my tw list probably isnt as precise as I'd like it to be, but from my memory there's no sexual assault whatsoever, barely any direct references to having sex either(unlike crybaby)

and i gotta warn you about a version called "the classic collection" for the manga. its supposed to be 2 large books that feature the compiled full story, but wow i regret having purchased these at all go nagai added some really disgusting things(sexual assault, short comic literally depicting sympathy towards hitler[specifically a guy gets abused by a demon and a woman he loves is killed and the comic does a whole "and that man that u just sympathized with... that was hitler" like.... okay actually i am going to attack go nagai to death] like he did this short series abt real terrible people in history where the "reason" they were so villainous was "actually bc of demons uwu". AWFULLL.) like! be careful not to purchase these and then take too long to read them to get to these weird hyper fucked up additions placed randomly within the books and become unable to return them ;_;

and then there's the 2 ova's from 1987-1990, called Devilman: The Birth, and Devilman: The Demon Bird

these two are usually paired together, you can find them uploaded on youtube every once in a while, the dub is. well in a technical sense it should be considered awful but i personally think the ridiculousness and constant unnecessary swearing really fits. its considered the best anime adaptation but there's only 2 episodes, theyre long enough to cover a chapter each but.... man if only they finished. i should also warn there's some heavy violence in these. like its not *as* bad as other iterations of devilman but like.... its worse than the manga by far, and there's one second of violence that always makes me flinch in the first ova. (theres quite a bit of guts in these i think... but the 2nd ova is much worse on the gore in one rlly long scene)

i dont rlly like the second movie as much... its just kinda meh for me.. except to see and hear sirene... literally her voice actor did such a good job im so gay (dont worry abt sexual assault in the ova's either, sirene is safe from that kind of depiction)

but basically! i say read the original manga, and if u want more(and rlly want to laugh) watch at least the first ova, then the 2nd if u want. but i beg you not to purchase anything new literally please dont support this disgusting author in any way

[smalltragedy]

* justice smith, demi man + he/they | you know gabriel de leon, right? they’re twenty three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, six years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 1984 (infinite jest) by the used like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole waking up in a body as heavy as the dead, emotions always on the verge of spilling over - you laugh before the punch lands, the belief that every encounter you have will be the last thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 31st, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

hi im just reposting gabe’s intro bc its been a very long time n im starting a little fresh hehe. yes i do regret the text color bt im not going back.

VIOLENCE TW

mini playlist.

ghosting ;; mother mother / roam the room ;; citizen / art of doubt ;; metric / thnks fr th mmrs ;; fall out boy / heart in a cage ;; the strokes / where is my mind? ;; the pixies / flowers grow out of my grave ;; dead man’s bones / 1984 (infinite jest) ;; the used / blister in the sun ;; the violent femmes.

statistics.

full name: gabriel de leon.

nickname(s): gabe.

birthday: october 31st, 1997.

zodiac: scorpio sun, scorpio moon, gemini ascending.

label: the icarian.

hometown: belleville, new jersey.

sexuality: bisexual (masc-leaning).

pinterest.

biography.

it’s only rly ever been gabe n his mom n the little new jersey suburbs that r always the same no matter where they go. they dn’t speak abt fathers or brothers or spain or anywhere other than the now, and how its constantly changing bt oddly the same.

his mom’s name is sonia n we love her. she worked a lot as a single mom n p much hs done everything on her own ever since leaving spain.

they dn’t talk abt spain bt we cn talk abt spain n hw sonia hd grown up partially there n partially in the states n hw she’d originally planned to live there forever bt the man she’d fallen in love with ws involved in some. high class dangerous shit n it ws safer fr them to part even if tht involved leaving everything she knew n loved <3

bt its like. ok. bc she hd gabe <3 n they dnt talk abt it so it practically nvr happened. n she tries her best as a mom n usually tht is enough.

they moved around a lot just bc sonia is a very. flighty person. anxious bt nvr seems tht way is just always. tense. gabe didnt think she ws capable of relaxing fr. a rly long time.

she wld commute 2 nyc every morning n after school gabe wld climb onto the train n by the time he got 2 her place of work she’d be just getting off n they’d get a slice of pizza n sometimes they’d go somewhere like central park or coney island (just fr the novelty) bt most of the time they just got back on the train home w/ gabe either doing homework or napping on her shoulder.

when gabe got a little older he’d sometimes skip school n take the train after sonia had already gone so he cld spend the day in nyc. he liked learning bt didnt rly like school. he nvr properly fit in bc of the amt of times they’d move so it felt like nowhere ws. right fr him.

got rly involved in. the punk scene as a young unsupervised teenager n tht led 2 a lot of like. shitty stick n pokes bt also a love of. very loud angry music n a sense of justice tht he held tightly in his fists. got mouthy towards bullies whether at school or in the scenes he involved himself in n started getting into a lot of fights bc of it.

during this, sonia ended up dating n marrying gabe’s stepdad who he calls craig sometimes bt i dnt think thats his name i wont lie to u guys. its partially a joke n partially purposeful disrespect bc gabriel does not trust a single man bt like. man. ‘craig’ is just an accountant. he’s fine he’s a good dude. they once bonded over like. the mets.

violence tw // anyways. when gabriel ws 16 he got into a super super bad fight tht ended rly. terribly n like listen. nobody died bt it ws just. it got blown up very out of proportion n gabe might’ve gotten expelled even tho he wsnt even the one who started it bt thts okay. ‘craig’, or paul, suggested tht maybe. a change of scenery wld b good fr gabe n b4 they knew it they were. moving to paul-robert’s hometown of irving, north carolina. violence end of tw //

he wld’ve complained more bt. fr sonia’s sake gabe kept it 2 himself. it made her happy 2 see them all get along anyways n like. idk he cld put forth tht little effort <3

bt honestly like. he didnt rly get into too many fights once they moved down here n even tho sometimes he ws like. ommgg. i hate this town .. its so washed up .. he still made friends n like. the only thing tht changed ws tht it ws a lil harder fr him 2 acquire illegal substances.

anyways. currently he hs a tattoo apprenticeship n is a professional piercer n like. he plays guitar n writes songs bt thts more of a hobby rn than anything else. mostly focused on paying his rent at port apartments bc as much as he. loves his mom he does not want 2 live with her forever <3 n thts okay!

personality & facts.

overall xtremely passionate person like god. feels emotions so intensely. every time he opens his mouth n talks abt an interest of theirs its just very like. u listen n ur like oh. gained 2 inspiration. thanks.

clings onto his friends p tightly bc he like. nvr rly stayed in one place fr super super long in new jersey so he nvr made very long term friends n now hes like. very clingy HLKDSHLKFSHLKDG also hates to b alone. subtle desperation behind interactions with ppl he rly wld like to be friends with.

like dnt get me wrong hes gotten into. sm fights bt thts mostly bc he cannot keep his mouth shut n he also cnt stand douchebags he like. always wants to tear them down prob bc he ws a victim of bullying. n u know what. we support him. otherwise he loves ppl bt esp if they hv similar interests 2 him.

like golden retriever who bites kind of. intensely loyal but at the same time is very skeptical. things tht good things do not last very long even though they’ve been doing already fr the last few years.

also bit of a nerd. they were nvr rly a big fan of school bt theres smth abt a good superhero comic tht draws their attention more than like. any english class evr. bt seven soldiers of victory? classic. big dc fan.

uh. very into like. hardcore music. hardcore rock. punk. if its loud n angry they r into it like so so much. hs sm tattoos is like. super covered in them its partially bc they work at a tattoo shop n partially bc they do not know hw to manage their money well.

ooohh u know what theyre. kinda moody i wont lie to u. very defensive like they dnt evr wna talk abt their past. has experienced Things n they do not wish to discuss them. will usually like. deflect frm conversations he doesnt wna hv.

in tune with nature. loves fkn taking walks. hangs out in the woods by abernathy creek n lilac ridge bc nobody rly goes there n its just. nice

tries not 2 take anything super seriously 2 the point where when he does take smth seriously its a little scary bc theyre super intense abt it. forcibly optimistic even tho on the inside he feels like a total pessimist. lots of. deep down insecurities tht he projects by attaching himself p firmly onto others. >.>

so so so energetic. can never stay still. always hs to be moving around. restless like tht. probably got it frm his mom. overly protective over the ppl he loves. probably got it frm his mom as well.

goes onto Tangents bt also divert frm those tangents n is generally all over the place.

always cold n always looks tired n like he hsnt slept in a thousand years n u know what. sometimes he just does not sleep.

oooohh theyre a vegan. totally into animal rights. devious little demi man beyond that .. loves horror n the paranormal n believes in like. every cryptic. will debate u on it.

erm not. the kindest 2 themself theyre a bit self destructive. impulsive. drives very fast n parties super hard. said i will hv my effy stonem moment. u dont hv to gabe.

bt ya! luvs oranges n reds n is maybe a short king. hs an eyebrow piercing n like. a lip ring i wont fk around here he IS living his best emo life in 2021. a little outdated on the trends bt thats okay. probably will tell u hes frm new jersey. its a personality trait. smokes the shittiest cigarettes ever.

wanted plots.

just ghosting along ,, dnt even exist 2 me ,, ;; god. firstly just the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs like. spoken to romantically n then dropped suddenly. n then maybe like. one tht actually Hurt bt they cnt avoid each other bt theyre actively pretending each other doesnt exist n its. hurtful bc it ws like. actually smth nice bt <3 ykno FKLFSDHG

hey hey heyy c’maahn i’m just a little guy ;; n this is the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs probably. pissed off n hs either fought or been on the verge of fighting just. unable 2 resist a good bicker-turned-duel.

just blistering in the sun ;; they cld b close friends bt also they cld also not b bt just ppl who. indulge in bad impulsive decisions with gabe. general bad influences on each other’s health n just. no good! party hard bt at what cost.

n also ;; like ... rly solid good friendships ... flings n maybe an exe or two tht either ended on good terms or just. horrendous, ppl they’ve distanced frm, ppl also frm up north, piercing customers, bt not tattoo customers bc im p sure they’d get fired if they were just tattoo’ing ppl willy nilly, etc.

[batricide]

i’ll drop this on my blog here too actually bc it’s Important to how i play damian and also let me yell about the fact that ij’s bruce is not a good person and the reason why so many people hate damian is because they somehow miss that.

so! here’s a warning for: tyrannical totalitarian regimes, child abuse, abusive fathers, emotional manipulation, evil superman, character death & also random he-man. please note that this is about injustice and its characters, which are not a reflection on their mainstream counterparts or how i view them.

there’s tension between damian and bruce from the get-go in injustice, and we’re never really told why. if we take cues from the game (though that entire scene doesn’t make sense) then it’s because bruce didn’t save jason, which fits in with my reordered robin theory in which tim and jason were switched, and jason has only recently died.

now, we don’t know whether jason is running around as red hood right now or not. but i’m inclined to say he isn’t, as his injustice 2 ending makes a big deal of him becoming red hood. and damian is close with jason in injustice 2, close enough that jason listens when damian tells him that he’s a lot more than bruce thinks he is and drops the shitty batman costume. close enough that during the (extremely weird, extremely out of alignment with the comic) scene in injustice 2 where damian betrays bruce for clark, jason is the name damian throws at him with the most vehemence. regardless of the robin ordeer, bruce’s failure to save jason is seems to be an incredibly sore point between them.

so it’s interesting that bruce is already counting damian out before injustice even starts. he’s comparing damian to jason - someone who he apparently no longer considers part of his legacy. 

the kicker is: damian in injustice is actually probably the most morally centered version of himself. he shows open compassion and care for other people more often than he does in most of the mainstream runs. damian’s sense of right and wrong is solid, but what he wants is to break the cycle that gotham is trapped in. which from his perspective, is something bruce doesn’t seem to want to do.

injustice’s version of bruce is someone who truly believes that the ends justify the means - which means he’s apt to do some heinous things to people until they see his side of things. he seems to view people questioning as an act of betrayal, so instead of ever explaining himself he resorts to things like installing viruses in cyborg, kidnapping hawkgirl and replacing her, beating allies within an inch of their life - all of it is fine to him so long as they’re not dead. 

but it’s not fine to damian.  damian is constantly horrified at the lengths bruce will go to.

damian is afraid of his father. 

so, this is about a specific scene.  let’s get to that scene. its just important to note the difference between them, and emphasize that he’s not going with any intent to fight. if he was going to do that, he wouldn’t be doing this:

or respond like this:

or this:

he’s there to make amends, or at least try to. he still loves his father and he wants to be forgiven, and this is something that will carry on ten years later in injustice 2. damian made the choice to oppose bruce’s controlling nature but damian didn’t choose to abandon him and the bat family permanently. that choice was made for him. damian wants to come home. 

and he’s terrified of his father. i cannot stress that enough. bruce at this point has already shown that he knows how to hurt his closest friends if they oppose him.

damian is a highly trained fighter, but he’s also a  thirteen year old boy who knows he can’t overpower a man twice his size and weight.

and bruce?

bruce’s entire argument really hinges on ‘you, my thirteen year old son, didn’t take my side in this argument’. because, i have to put this in bold, the league was not executing the criminals they were removing from arkham. they were just transferring them to a more secure facility. something which is actually sorely needed, especially given what has just happened to metropolis. arkham isn’t fit to house them. and as far as damian sees it, bruce doesn’t like it because it’s removing an element of his control.

now, bruce isn’t wrong about how things will escalate. 

but damian’s not wrong about his motivation here.  i think there’s a conversation to be had about how bruce’s methods in trying to stop the regime actually drove it to further and further extremes. bruce never tries to talk to clark - or anyone, really. he just starts playing mind games to make them do what he wants.

it harkens back to the conversation bruce and dick have in the batplane. that bruce doesn’t talk to people, he doesn’t explain himself. he’s either right or you’re wrong and he won’t explain his stance. there is never room for debate. he’ll just stop talking and leave until you agree.  there is no option where he sits and listens to an open and honest dialogue, no scenario where he entertains that he might be in the wrong or maybe things aren’t black and white.

and that’s why injustice bruce is not a good guy. 

even on prime earth, damian had to bend over backwards to prove to bruce that he wasn’t a monster. it was damian who spent months digging through the sewers for martha’s pearls. damian who had to prove he was capable of loving titus. damian who constantly had to show that he was capable of empathy and thinking of others - bruce did none of the heavy lifting in that father-son relationship, he made damian climb the entire hill and still continues to put little effort into it.

and injustice bruce is even less empathetic and expressive than prime bruce.  

which is why you get a confrontation like this:

this goes beyond dick’s accident and ties back into what clark said about bruce not tending to his son’s who are grieving because they lost friends in metropolis.  damian’s fed up with never meeting bruce’s expectations. but more than that, he’s fed up with his feelings coming second to bruce’s. 

bruce has already made a judgement on who and what damian is. damian has the potential to be dangerous and requires work to fix, and so he’s not interested in getting to know him beyond that. he tells dick that he’s “worried about  damian being seduced by darkness” but never talks to damian himself with him about it.

but clark has looked at damian and and decided that damian is good. damian has problems, clark can admit that and does, but damian is good. like bruce himself.

and ultimately why when dick dies, clark is the one that reaches out to him because he sees damian for what he is: grieving child who just made a terrible mistake. it was an accident. damian didn’t mean for this to happen. meanwhile, bruce feels as though he was proven right. damian was dangerous and now his real son is dead. bruce will later admit, once he stops trying to manipulate damian, that damian was dead to him the moment dick died.

going back to year zero for a minute, they subtly show that damian is doing his best to be like bruce. baby damian idolizes his father. so i imagine a lot of bruce’s own feelings towards damian stem from self-hatred. from bruce seeing himself in his son and not liking the reflection it forces him to confront. injustice bruce projects a great deal of his own insecurities and shortcomings onto his youngest. damian is his worst what-if.

even though damian doesn’t deal with his grief the way bruce does. there are similarities, he puts his feelings into his fists and hits. just like bruce. but unlike bruce, and most likely because of dick, he does try to communicate. come injustice 2 he even talks about his feelings.

that doesn’t justify any of the violent outbursts. and he has a lot of them. he has significant issues with controlling his anger and struggles with lashing out, verbally and physically. it both worsens and improves as he gets older.

damian knows that he’s more than his grief, his loss, his anger. he’s also compassionate and capable of incredible feats of kindness. we see that in the flashback chapter in injustice 2. people aren’t pawns for damian, they aren’t a means to assuage his own guilt and validate himself as a good person. he wants to be good for those people.

damian’s relationship with heroism isn’t built on an intrinsic need for control or power, nor is it a means of validating his self worth.

people just need him. they’re suffering.  and he wants to be there for them.

but again, we’re not there yet.

so, alfred reaches out to touch damian. damian asks him repeatedly to let go. when alfred doesn’t, damian tries throwing him off, not realizing how much strength he now possesses.

damian  has a thing about being touched when he’s wound up tightly. it almost always ends with him lashing out at someone. which, tying back into why he felt comfortable coming back here, probably goes into his expectation that he’s going to get the lights knocked out of him. because again, damian did not go to the cave to fight or hurt anyone. the pill is entirely for his own defense.

from what we know of damian’s childhood in both prime and injustice, violence is the expected retaliation for misbehavior. toeing out of line is grounds for getting the shit beaten out of you, and while things should be different here....

from how bruce reacts he’s not wrong to expect it.  note that bruce dodesn’t run to alfred to see if he’s okay, he goes after damian for hurting him. it’s damian who runs to alfred after he’s thrown bruce away from him.  

( granted, yes, he threw bruce into the penny and it almost crushes alfred )

damian apologizes and he means it.  alfred’s first question is to ask for bruce.  

“”hawkgirl”” intervenes to try to end this fight before it can escalate further.

damian deduces that this isn’t hawkgirl and blows some stuff up.  bruce calls after him probably - not to have a serious heart to heart with him about what just happened, or what happened in arkham, but to try to manipulate him into taking bruce’s side or in the very least stop his ruse from being uncovered.

this is a theme moving forward. bruce will dangle forgiveness in front of damian, but only when it benefits him and can be used to control him. eventually he’ll stop and will use the guilt he knows damian feels to wound him.

and here’s the second theme it introduces: damian is scared shitless of his father. he’s not afraid of bruce’s violence, as after this he charges straight for him time and time again, but he is utterly terrified of the lengths bruce will go to get his way.

this is also where he takes dick’s suit. i think this was his way of telling bruce that he didn’t deserve to use dick’s memory the way he uses his parent’s death - as justification for what he does.  this comes up in injustice 2 later down the road, damian will bring up that bruce uses his pain to justify how he brutalizes the people around him. damian does the same thing -- but we also see damian grappling with his conscience about it. he wants to be better. he doesn’t want to be all his violence and loss.

back to the topic at hand, damian doesn’t do anything with dick’s suit. unlike bruce, damian doesn’t wear his grief and guilt in plain sight. he puts it in a box and doesn’t look at it, he covers the wounds with anger and as he gets older, develops a death wish and basically begins seeking a noble death in order to make up for what he’s done. it isn’t until dick passes the mantle to him in an attempt to steer him back on the right path that he even looks at it again.

damian isn’t the one that ended his relationship with bruce. bruce did. damian is very willing to reconcile if bruce genuinely wants it, but bruce doesn’t bother with damian outside of combat or when he needs something. damian actually keeps up visits with alfred, he gets him birthday presents, they meet up often and despite their opposing viewpoints, they get along just fine. damian even listens to what alfred says. he still loves his family.

damian himself is a mess. this line resonates because damian, too, is afraid. afraid of bruce, afraid of being what bruce thinks he is. there’s only so far he can bury it under the anger.

by the next issue of year one, after the confrontation at the manor, damian’s discarded any notion that bruce is a good person or justified in anything he does. everything he says on this page is true.

he’s not wrong. he’s more than bruce has even given him credit for being. injustice bruce sorts people into boxes impossible to climb out.  damian made his attempt at reconciliation and instead, found out that bruce has kidnapped and replaced one of his friends to spy on all the rest. in that split second when bruce came at at him, he saw the disgust and anger in his eyes. he’s seen how bruce sees him and wholeheartedly rejects it. 

he doesn’t want to be bruce. he will not be bruce.

batman was supposed to be better than the league. it was supposed to be a new way. instead he just found a new, different means to brutalize and control, and a new way someone justifies causing harm. and he doesn’t want it.

this isn’t to say that damian is a saint. he’s a very flawed, very broken person. he went from one abusive parental situation, to another, to another, and has the damage to show for it. he’s got bad habits from all of them, many of which he isn’t aware of or doesn’t think are a problem. 

but unlike his two dads, damian doesn’t close himself off to what he’s feeling completely, nor does he decide to rush towards external solutions for his pain. he’s, again, very aware that something is wrong. he doesn’t hold to his convictions the same way bruce or clark do, he questions.  he’s deeply unhappy with who he is and what he’s doing. 

but damian is seeking answers using a very limited toolset, and there’s a very limited pool of people he can ask that won’t give him a biased answer or try to manipulate him for their own means. one of the people he confides in does just that.

the other gives him the honest truth.

his relationship with selina is fraught and she’s often one of the very nastiest people towards him, but it’s because of that  he ends up opening up to her. she isn’t going to bullshit him and just say what he wants to hear.

and this is what makes damian different from them. both of them.

because he stops, because he questions, he’s still connected to reality. to his own humanity.

injustice’s bruce is a bruce that has quietly let his humanity die. he’s completely given over to the cold logic of batman and the idea that whatever he does to the people around him, no matter how morally dubious, is justified so long as it means protecting lives. he might not kill, but he really stops just short of that. he just doubles down on his beliefs and takes anyone who doesn’t agree with him as a traitor. he will go out of his way to rationalize how a largely guilty person is innocent (harleen) and how a largely innocent person is guilty (damian). and so he uses damian’s “betrayal” - ie, damian standing with clark instead of him - as justification for icing him out. that way he can ignore all the people who have reminded him time and time again that it was an accident.  

bruce also can’t stand that damian won’t do what he says. bruce will ignore damian unless it benefits him. bruce will go on to frequently weaponize how badly damian wants forgiveness against him. there are multiple instances where he says “just do as i say and i’ll forgive you, son.”

and then in the next breath, he’ll tell damian that he “can’t forgive the deaths”, all the while he has harleen as his new sidekick.   it’s fine that harleen helped with the scheme to blow up metropolis, killed jimmy olsen, and countless others. it’s not fine that damian did something he did all the time to dick - something dick himself shrugged off, because the expectation for this behavior was that dick would catch the baton - and it ended in tragedy.

because harleen listens to him and damian doesn’t. bruce cuts damian neatly out of his life and only really cares about him again when he’s a corpse.

damian, meanwhile, never stops trying to earn bruce’s forgiveness. in the canonical bad end (or well a comic offshoot of the canon ending) damian essentially dies begging bruce to forgive him, admitting that he always cared. he launches an absolutely insane rescue mission to save his father from clark’s torture and it costs him his life.

( but it’s worth mentioning - it takes damian showing bruce an image of kara for bruce to acknowledge him. )

even before this, damian was looking out for bruce in other ways. he was the reason selina got involved with the regime. because he offered her the chance to join and save bruce. damian’s anger towards bruce is less that he wants him dead, and more that bruce won’t stop unless he’s killed.

and damian is willing to kill him if bruce poses a threat to his ‘new’ family. he’s not going to watch bruce hurt the people he loves.

but his new father sucks just as much as his old one.

talia and bruce were more obviously abusive parents. they were controlling and sometimes asserted that control and obedience using physical violence and intimidation. in obvious ways you can point to and see abuse. 

damian doesn’t recognize clark is using him until he sees clark discard kara, who should be everything to clark and is someone important to damian. before that, he has inklings that they’ve gone too far, but clark has been such a paragon of good that when he tells damian not to worry about it, he doesn’t. he hides all his darkness behind that  smile and tells damian he’s good and worthy of people loving him, that they’re saving people and they won’t let another metropolis happen. clark talks to him and still (seems to) accept him even when they disagree.

damian misses clark’s equally as abusive tendencies because they hidden under the guise of a fatherly concern. 

clark is manipulating him into divulging more than he wants to. a boundary damian set is being broken without damian even realizing it.  damian’s uneasy. his body language goes from very easy and relaxed to overtly uncomfortable and almost submissive. it’s also very subtle but clark actually rises higher off the ground to intimidate and loom over him.

damian, who has only known bruce’s stormy silences in moments of disagreement, doesn’t recognize this for what it is.  clark doesn’t take the slight out on him. clark doesn’t stop talking to him because he dared to question.

instead, he loops an arm around damian and praises him, rewards him for being honest and makes it seem like this is an open dialogue and not an interrogation. which it is. i wouldn’t call it gaslighting, but i would call it lovebombing. damian doesn’t realize that there was anything off about the encounter, or if he does, he’ll tell himself he’s just being paranoid.

after all. this ended amicably, not with him standing alone wondering what he did wrong, or being thrown across the room. clark basically stops just shy of ruffling his hair and calling him sport. 

he was rewarded for honesty. and so any discomfort he felt was imagined.

 i think a thing that a lot of fans miss is that injustice’s damian is a forthright person. he doesn’t lie or deceive much, and later on it will bother him that he’s keeping secrets from kara for ‘the greater good’. he loathes that bruce does it and works hard to not fall into that trap. he wants to be honest. he’s glad when he’s rewarded for that honesty. 

because injustice’s damian doesn’t want to be batman. he wants to be superman. he wants to be good.

but injustice’s superman is not a good man. 

clark keep secrets, many terrible secrets, and often hurts people and justifies it to himself. he just hides it far better than bruce does.  clark is even more controlling and cruel, but he leans harder into his humanity and emotions to hide it. it’s easier to see bruce being cold and calculating and miss the way clark subtly uses what you want to get what he wants out of you. and you never really see it coming when he lashes out. he’ll apologize for it, of course, and if you’re not dead you’ll forgive him, because it’s clark. he didn’t mean it. right?

bruce manipulates overtly and grandly using intimidation, clark manipulates subtly using emotion. damian only recognizes one of these things when they happen.

so clark gives damian what he wants - a parent who loves him, someone he can talk to and even show a little vulnerability with - and then uses that against him. 

the worst thing -  the very worst thing - is that bruce and clark love damian. he knows this. both seem to genuinely consider him their son. and he knows this.

in injustice vs motu, bruce snaps fully into awareness just as diana snaps damian’s neck. he’s awake just in time to watch his son die.    and when clark is brought onto the scene, clark falls to his knees and mourns damian and laments his role in driving him to this.

but they weaponize this parent-child bond he wants against him and each other. frankly, neither of them were very interested in him for who he was. nor for helping him be better and master his anger. damian’s body isn’t even cold before bruce uses it against clark, failing to acknowledge his own part in damian’s all too early demise.

he’s another chess piece on their board. one clark can use to wound bruce. one bruce can use to wound clark.

the person damian is when away from both of their influence is a more complete damian. he’s the very best of both of them.

the damian here is still curt and sometimes rude, but he laughs and bonds with the people around him. he values people’s freedom and seems to strive for honesty and communication. meaning no one is in his war to reclaim the world doesn’t want to be, and he makes no move without everyone knowing.

when he recruits adam,  he tells them their story and what they’ve gone through and gives adam the choice to join them or stay in eternia.

anyway, all of this is to say that even all these years later, i continue to be so sad about injustice damian wayne. 

edit:

now, there’s actually one other thing i want to bring up because i totally forgot about it.

so. issue 8 of injustice 2.  

if we’re going with the idea of the reordered robin theory, which is what makes the most sense to me considering jason’s age and the friction between bruce and damian, this before jason dies. and if i’m wrong and the robins don’t have a different order, then this is before some enormous event that broke the slowly building trust.

there’s none of the undercurrent of hostility and distrust that shows up in year 0, which is immediately before year 1. we’re not given a timeframe for when this occurs, either, it’s just happier times.

but what’s really hard to ignore is that the dynamic between bruce and damian is completely different here. maybe tom taylor’s just settled more into writing the two of them, but i don’t think so. year zero comes after this. 

he even acknowledges damian’s anger earlier in the chapter. but it’s less of a condemnation of his character and more a concern that he might not be ready to be on his own. alfred is the one advocating for caution, asking if he’s ready, bruce is the one saying yes, he is.

it’s a complete reversal.

and his trust is rewarded with a night of damian abandoning the “”mission”” he was given (get home from the furthest point of gotham in three hours) to help everyone along the way. which was the real goal all along, it was a test to see if damian’s compassion would win out over his want to win. and it does. bruce is proud of him.

so... what happened between them? what caused that shift? 

i’m kind of worried we’re never going to know. like, i’m so glad that tom taylor is dc’s new golden boy and they’re just letting him build a million different aus. i buy every book he writes. 

but also i’m dying because IJ2 was clearly planned to go on a lot longer than it did and i have questions that i know netherrealm doesn’t care about answering.

[longassr1de]

Innocence (m)

Pairing: Johnny × fem!reader Genre: smut/fluff, slight hint of angst if you squint Word count: 2k Summary: In which it’s your first time with Johnny, though.. he’s just as nervous as you are. Warnings: slight corruption kink, reader's first time/loss of virginity, random emotional moment, not proofread.

A/N: ....this was supposed to be a fully corruption kink post but it got emotional along the way bc 1) i guess i headcanon johnny that way & 2) i'm in my feels. :( haven't written in awhile so pardon any mistakes in the story,,,

Johnny just couldn't believe you were real sometimes, and that feeling had never been stronger than in this very moment. Lying on your back for him in nothing but your skimpy white lingerie, making you look like both salvation and sin.

"You look so pretty, angel, all spread out for me," he lets out a deep chuckle as his lips trail teasing kisses all over your abdomen, everywhere except where your body craves for him to be. Impatient, you let out a whine, looking at him with watery eyes as you bite your lip. His jaw drops in silent awe, taking in every detail of this wondrous moment.

Like a magnet, Johnny ends up being pulled right back to your lips, mesmerized at how kiss-swollen they already are. Pulling back just enough to look you into the eyes, he murmurs against your lips, "Are you sure, angel? We can take things slow if you want," brushing his thumb gently across your cheek as if you'd break otherwise.

"Please," is all you can breathlessly whisper, "take me, break me, make me all yours. I... I need you baby, I need you so bad." You nearly choke at the end of hour words at the way Johnny grinds his hips roughly into yours, groaning and pressing open-mouthed kisses along your jaw.

"You really are going to be the death of me, my pretty little princess." The change in his gaze sets the current shift in mood perfectly, and you simply couldn't hold back the moan that escaped when his fingers slide your panties to the side, sliding his fingers over your folds.

"So you want me to fuck you, is that right? You want me to be the first one to taste you, touch you, taint you?" You nod fervently, amazed at how much nicer it felt when it was his hands doing the work and not your own. Completely at his mercy, completely unaware of what his next move would be; being on that edge but not being able to jump off it of your own will.

Slowly, so painfully slowly, Johnny slides one of his fingers in, pumping slowly before adding another, rubbing at your clit with the rough pad of his thumb. All of this new stimulation had your thighs shaking, and it wasn't any easier to keep quiet when his free hand pulls down the cups of your white lace bra, fondling one breast while sucking at the other. He continues this for some time before he pulls back with a pop, lips wet with his own spit, and your hips buck of their own volition at the sultry thoughts permeating through your mind.

"Aww, is someone needy? You're just begging to be ruined. You're so cute, angel," Johnny coos at how precious you are, enjoying every moment of watching as your innocence slips further past the brink of no return, soaking in every moan that filters past your bruised lips. The way he compliments you and chastises you all at once does something to you, deep down, and it swirls with the knot already forming deep in the pit of your tummy.

"J-Johnny I'm-" you half-yell, eyes rolling back as your back arches, a silent scream lingering in the air as your mouth hangs open. Your hands claw at your boyfriend's forearm, gasping for air as he continues to thrust his fingers into your core, the sticky gushing noise of it all heightening your sensitive state as you ride out your high.

After he pulls out his fingers, Johnny curiously lets them slip past his own lips, groaning at the taste of you, unconsciously humping the bed as you reach up to run your fingers through his hair. "You taste... heavenly," he murmurs, voice heavy with lust as he licks his fingers clean, leaning down to ravage your lips with his tongue, letting you taste yourself in the process. The longer this goes on, the more you hear the beautiful noises he lets out, and the more you feel his erection pressing into your thigh.

A little worried but still curious, you cautiously slide your hand down his naked abdomen to his clothed erection. Judging by the way he grinds his fully hard length into your palm, you secretly grin to yourself at his desperate state, only to be floored when he sits up and finally discards his pants, the outline beneath his briefs making your eyes widen almost comically.

"Hey hey, look at me, eyes up here," Johnny jokes, and your widened eyes silently obey. You unconsciously gulp, though your thighs rub together without you choosing to do so, simply allowing your gentle giant of a boyfriend to caress your hair and soothe your seemingly frightened state. "We really don't have to go any further than you're comfortable, I don't want you push you in any way," he eyes you warily, smiling to himself as he recalls how nervous he was his first time too.

"I-I'm fine, I promise. I'm just... scared? This is all so new to me," you pause, struggling to find the right words, "having someone else touch me.. where only I ever have before." Johnny nods at you in understanding, placing a kiss on your forehead once you're done speaking. Before he can respond, you unknowingly cut him off, surprising him with your choice of words. "But that doesn't mean I don't want you to be the one to pop my cherry, babe. I want you to give me all you've got." He lets out an incredulous laugh, helping you out of your underwear as you both share a softer series of kisses, languid and loving in their delivery.

"I love you so much, sex or not, I just want you to know how touched I am that you chose me. To love, to hold, to cherish... thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life, and for staying in mine." You're halfway between slapping Johnny and kissing him senseless for choosing such timing to confess something to emotional. But you really couldn't put it past him, you'd always known he was a hopeless romantic.

"I love you too, so much. John Suh, thank you for always being so sweet and caring, for always being the best boyfriend. Thank you for being patient with me, for being the one to wipe my tears, and for being so gentle even in moments like these," you both smile at each other, trying your best to ignore the fact your visions are blurry through the onset of tears forming. "But if you don't help me out here baby, I swear I'm going to fuck myself instead." The snort he lets out would have made you laugh, if you weren't still so damn horny from all his teasing.

"Noted," is all he mutters before pulling off his briefs, allowing you your first glimpse at his weeping cock. He pumps himself lightly, letting out a shaky exhale before biting his lip, consumed by the feeling of finally getting a bit of relief. His eyes slowly open to look down at you, and your breath catches in your throat as how incredibly hot the scene before you is.

You don't feel scared anymore, you realize, you never really had a reason to, not with Johnny. He always put your needs before your own, and respected your boundaries with the utmost care. You could ask him to stop right now, and you know he would in a heartbeat. But you don't want to stop, and you're exhilarated by the realization. For the first time, you're genuinely excited for what lie ahead, ready to become one with Johnny, even if for a fleeting moment.

Sealing the deal with a final peck to your lips, he murmurs another "I love you", helplessly emotional in this moment, absolutely overwhelmed by the loud thumping of his heart in his chest.

Truth be told, you weren't the only nervous one, Johnny had been terrified all night. What if he did something wrong? What if he did something you didn't like? What if he couldn't live up to the perfect fantasy everyone hopes for their first time? His nerves were starting to eat at him, and yet, he could only feel guilty for being wrapped up in his own thoughts and not focusing enough on you.

"John, is something wrong?" your voice calling out to him snapped him out of his daze, feeling terrible when he saw your worried expression.

"I'm fine, just.. also nervous is all," he tries to laugh it off, but you refuse to let it slide, much to his dismay.

"Then why didn't you just say so?," you exclaim, almost exasperated. "You're probably trying to make everything perfect and beating yourself up over it again, aren't you? This isn't a Disney movie, baby, shit is gonna happen and that's fine. Sex can be complicated, but it shouldn't have to be. Just talk to be about it, is that so hard?" Your little pout at the end sends his heart into overdrive, cursing himself for being so utterly weak when it came to you, putty in your hands at the slightest things.

"I'm sorry, you're absolutely right. I just didn't want to add any stress onto you, and yet, here we are. I'm just worried, like what if I can't came you cum, angel? I'd be mortified," he whines out, his face buried into your chest, embarrassed at his own honesty.

"You've already made me cum once, and I have no doubt you can make it happen again. Maybe we don't get it right on the first try, but we'll never know if we don't."

Johnny laughs at the irony of the situation. "How come you're the one talking me down, when it should've been the other way around?"

"Maybe because you've been in your head too much instead of inside me?" And that's all it takes to unleash the lust that had been suppressed by his fears. You take a deep breath through your nose, hands clamped around his own as Johnny slides into you slowly, giving you time to adjust until he's buried all the way between your legs.

"Oh fuck," he mutters, thighs tensing at how wet and tight you were around him. "How are you doing?" he asks, eyeing you carefully.

"Feels a little odd, but it's not so bad," you gasp as he ruts into you a little more, "ooh, definitely not bad."

"Is it ok if I move now, angel?"

"Please do."

The way he moves his hips is both sin and satisfaction, pulling out all the way only to thrust deep into you, leaving you breathless and seeing stars. You wonder why Johnny was even worried in the first place, quickly climbing to your orgasm due to your sensitivity. Clenching around him, he gets the hint, thankful he won't be embarrassed at not lasting for too long with how needy he was himself. It had been far too long since he had last been intimate, let alone how wondrous the you felt.

He grabs hold of your hips to anchor himself as his pace gets sloppy, curling himself into your form, mouthing at the side of your breast as he cums in spurts, fucking you through his own sensitivity as you finally come around his length, buried so deep inside you you swore you could feel him in your belly.

"Oh... ...my god..." he pants, letting out a weak groan as he pulls out of you.

"Thank you," you place a kiss atop his head, "I couldn't have asked for more, that was wonderful, Johnny." He blushes at your praise, doing that silly little laugh he does when he's embarrassed, snuggling comfortably into your side as he pulls the sheets over your sweaty forms.

"It was the least I could do for you, I'd give you the world if I could."

"Oh, but you already have. You're my world, right here in my arms, and that's all that matters in this moment." Smirking slightly, you're proud at yourself for rendering your boyfriend speechless, beating him at his own game of cheesy lines and rosy cheeks for once.

"I really got lucky with you, huh?" he murmurs, mesmerized.

Unable to resist the opportunity, ....you jest "Oh, I'll say, you definitely got lucky tonight.

[ffuturefoundation]

@ravenmechanic​ did those post with question about their life during 2017 just before the year ended, and i wanted to answer the question too. i am just a little late with it (like i am with everything lately...)  anyway also tagging @laurel-jane-juspeczyk​ if that is okay, just bc it is me talking about my life and how things have been and yeah it’d be cool if both of you read it but also fine if not.

it’s under a read more, bc it is kinda long.

what did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before? I drove a car! Which went much better than expected and while everything surrounding it isn't so great, i feel v good about the actual driving aspect. I also moved in with someone, just in a roommate capacity but that's still a big deal. I made cookies for the first time (that I can remember)!! I left therapy and felt somewhat ready about it for the first time (I'm used to being told to leave because they can't help me or things like that so this was a v nice change) And I got glasses, which I guess isn't really a thing I did but still was a v new thing. i can’t believe it has been less than a year?? it feels like i’ve always had them tbh.

did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Ha nope. Okay tbf I didn't really make any resolutions at all, it's more that I had goals for the year, namely getting a job and getting my driver's license, and I have failed at both and spent way way too much money on driving classes already. did anyone close to you give birth? Nope did anyone close to you die? Charlie died in the middle of January which was really difficult for me, because she just meant the world to me and it wasn't just a joke when I referred to her as the light of my life. I'm feeling okay about it now and I have different pets now, but she was really an amazing little creature and I wish she was still a part of my life what countries did you visit? The only country I have visited is France. I mean I've driven through two other countries and I've obviously been in the country my family is from and the one I live in, but that's it. so even counting all of that, it is only five countries, which does not feel like much at all (okay i have been in germany to grocery shop and buy clothes, as well so it isn’t like i’ve only driven through that. but i haven’t been anywhere in belgium besides just travelling through!! i don’t think i’ve even gotten out of the car there. i need to go there this year.) what would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017? A job (i am joking, sort of). But mostly having someone to hug. Having some sort of physical contact with people, because I'm so tactile, and I just need physical affection and I can't get it. (This is honestly my biggest challenge in life which sounds so stupid, but yeah one of the biggest issues in my life has always been not having people to hug)

what dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? When Charlie died. Going on holiday with two of my friends. telling my friend about the csa stuff and then discovering a mouse in their apartment, that was really something (the tension was so thick and heavy, and then /hey you guys have a mouse/). Going to the zoo with my sister and niece, any day I was with them tbh.

what was your biggest achievement of the year? Getting more emotionally stable and healthy. I know I'm still a mess quite often, but I've never been as stable as I've been this year (at least not without being super dissociated and barely existing) Also it's the first year that I didn't actually consider killing myself, which is a huge deal. 

what was your biggest failure? Not getting a job

did you suffer illness or injury? Overall I've been pretty healthy

what was the best thing you bought? I impulse bought 12 puzzles in the middle of the night once, and honestly it's the best thing I did. I've gotten so much joy and calm and just a general feeling of achievement from those puzzles. 

whose behavior merited celebration? Uhm tbh my own, for continuing to try to achieve my goals whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? I want to say my parents but they haven't been too terrible this year, I just find the fact that they exist horrible already.

where did most of your money go? Driving classes…. (We're definitely over 20000 DKK already and I still don't have a license)

what did you get really, really, really excited about? Oh boy, I got so into Spider-Man it is almost ridiculous. I also got excited about other things but my current interest in Peter Parker is some heavy special interest stuff, and it just makes me really happy tbh. i fell super hard for mcu peter parker cause he is such a sweet child, and then i read the ultimate spiderman comics, and i can confidently say that 1610 peter parker is my fave, he is such an anxious disaster that never knows what to do, i love him. (i mean 616 is also cool, though lbr he is an asshole (he is a nice one and never cruel but yk)) what song will always remind you of 2017? I guess it would probably be top of the world by Greek fire, because I listened to that so so many times for the Peter Parker fanvideo that I made (and also in general had it in my music playlist so yeah probably that one)

what do you wish you’d done more of? Written more, and practiced other things more as well. Just that I'd work harder on learning more skills, though I did still do that quite a bit, but it could have been more

what do you wish you’d done less of? Probably laying in bed (says me a person who is currently laying on the couch xD but the couch is a lot better than my bed tbh) how did you spend christmas? I spend Christmas Eve with my grandparents for the first time that I can remember and it was great! I'm so glad I got the opportunity to spend it with them. First Christmas Day I did nothing. And second Christmas day my sister came over so I spend a lot of time with her and my niece which was great.

what was your favorite tv program? The librarians, which is just so much fun and such a quality show. I can't recommend it enough. Also the expanse, which has great characters and is very interesting. And of course leverage like always, because it is the best show ever.

do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? No what was the best book you read? I can't even remember what books I've read what was your greatest musical discovery? I don't know. I did start listening to more music though, which I think is a good thing, because I'm just getting more comfortable with it really (and just myself in general) what did you want and get? I feel more secure and free from my family

what did you want and not get? Someone to hug what was your favorite film of this year? Spider-Man homecoming. I saw it so many times it was ridiculous, and I just got completely obsessed with it which then started my interest in Peter Parker. The movie just brought me so much happiness. Though I'm now definitely at a point where I have quite some criticism about the movie. what did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 23, and i didn't do anything special. Honestly I just read comics really xD fun fact though my entire family was together celebrating the birthday of other people and only my uncle bothered to call me and wish me happy birthday (3 people did text me though but still) and it wasn't even the actual birthday of those people whose birthday they celebrated...

what one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Being more financially secure how would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017? Long sleeved shirts with t-shirts over them. Also of course hoodies.

what kept you sane? Honestly my medication which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I was into Tom Holland for like two weeks, which was the strangest thing because I'm usually v much not into famous people because Idol worship is v much not my thing because everyone is fake anyway and they're mostly trained liars that I do not know. who did you miss? My sister. Also Charlie because she died and was the best animal ❤ who was the best new person you met? Idk I didn't meet anyone that I'm really close to tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017. Plans, goals and reputation don't matter. Just live your life in a way that makes you happy and content.

[smalltragedy]

* justice smith, demi man + he/they | you know gabriel de leon, right? they’re twenty three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, six years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 1984 (infinite jest) by the used like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole waking up in a body as heavy as the dead, emotions always on the verge of spilling over - you laugh before the punch lands, the belief that every encounter you have will be the last thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 31st, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them ) 

hllo this is my second child i think theyre p grand n i love them a lot. as always pls like if u’d like to plot i’d lov to interact with everybody

VIOLENCE TW

mini playlist.

ghosting ;; mother mother / roam the room ;; citizen / art of doubt ;; metric / thnks fr th mmrs ;; fall out boy / heart in a cage ;; the strokes / where is my mind? ;; the pixies / flowers grow out of my grave ;; dead man’s bones / 1984 (infinite jest) ;; the used / blister in the sun ;; the violent femmes.

statistics.

full name: gabriel de leon.

nickname(s): gabe.

birthday: october 31st, 1997.

zodiac: scorpio sun, scorpio moon, gemini ascending.

mbti & temperament: esfp & improvisor / sanguine.

label: the icarian.

hometown: belleville, new jersey.

sexuality: homosexual.

pinterest.

biography.

it’s only rly ever been gabe n his mom n the little new jersey suburbs that r always the same no matter where they go. they dn’t speak abt fathers or brothers or spain or anywhere other than the now, and how its constantly changing bt oddly the same.

his mom’s name is sonia n we love her. she worked a lot as a single mom n p much hs done everything on her own ever since leaving spain.

they dn’t talk abt spain bt we cn talk abt spain n hw sonia hd grown up partially there n partially in the states n hw she’d originally planned to live there forever bt the man she’d fallen in love with ws involved in some. high class dangerous shit n it ws safer fr them to part even if tht involved leaving everything she knew n loved <3

bt its like. ok. bc she hd gabe <3 n they dnt talk abt it so it practically nvr happened. n she tries her best as a mom n usually tht is enough.

they moved around a lot just bc sonia is a very. flighty person. anxious bt nvr seems tht way is just always. tense. gabe didnt think she ws capable of relaxing fr. a rly long time.

she wld commute 2 nyc every morning n after school gabe wld climb onto the train n by the time he got 2 her place of work she’d be just getting off n they’d get a slice of pizza n sometimes they’d go somewhere like central park or coney island (just fr the novelty) bt most of the time they just got back on the train home w/ gabe either doing homework or napping on her shoulder.

when gabe got a little older he’d sometimes skip school n take the train after sonia had already gone so he cld spend the day in nyc. he liked learning bt didnt rly like school. he nvr properly fit in bc of the amt of times they’d move so it felt like nowhere ws. right fr him.

got rly involved in. the punk scene as a young unsupervised teenager n tht led 2 a lot of like. shitty stick n pokes bt also a love of. very loud angry music n a sense of justice tht he held tightly in his fists. got mouthy towards bullies whether at school or in the scenes he involved himself in n started getting into a lot of fights bc of it.

during this, sonia ended up dating n marrying gabe’s stepdad who he calls craig sometimes bt i dnt think thats his name i wont lie to u guys. its partially a joke n partially purposeful disrespect bc gabriel does not trust a single man bt like. man. ‘craig’ is just an accountant. he’s fine he’s a good dude. they once bonded over like. the mets.

violence tw // anyways. when gabriel ws 16 he got into a super super bad fight tht ended rly. terribly n like listen. nobody died bt it ws just. it got blown up very out of proportion n gabe might’ve gotten expelled even tho he wsnt even the one who started it bt thts okay. ‘craig’, or paul, suggested tht maybe. a change of scenery wld b good fr gabe n b4 they knew it they were. moving to paul-robert’s hometown of irving, north carolina. violence end of tw //

he wld’ve complained more bt. fr sonia’s sake gabe kept it 2 himself. it made her happy 2 see them all get along anyways n like. idk he cld put forth tht little effort <3

bt honestly like. he didnt rly get into too many fights once they moved down here n even tho sometimes he ws like. ommgg. i hate this town .. its so washed up .. he still made friends n like. the only thing tht changed ws tht it ws a lil harder fr him 2 acquire illegal substances. 

anyways. currently he hs a tattoo apprenticeship n is a professional piercer n like. he plays guitar n writes songs bt thts more of a hobby rn than anything else. mostly focused on paying his rent at port apartments bc as much as he. loves his mom he does not want 2 live with her forever <3 n thts okay! 

personality & facts.

overall xtremely passionate person like god. feels emotions so intensely. every time he opens his mouth n talks abt an interest of theirs its just very like. u listen n ur like oh. gained 2 inspiration. thanks.

clings onto his friends p tightly bc he like. nvr rly stayed in one place fr super super long in new jersey so he nvr made very long term friends n now hes like. very clingy HLKDSHLKFSHLKDG also hates to b alone. subtle desperation behind interactions with ppl he rly wld like to be friends with.

like dnt get me wrong hes gotten into. sm fights bt thts mostly bc he cannot keep his mouth shut n he also cnt stand douchebags he like. always wants to tear them down prob bc he ws a victim of bullying. n u know what. we support him. otherwise he loves ppl bt esp if they hv similar interests 2 him.

like golden retriever who bites kind of. intensely loyal but at the same time is very skeptical. things tht good things do not last very long even though they’ve been doing already fr the last few years. 

also bit of a nerd. they were nvr rly a big fan of school bt theres smth abt a good superhero comic tht draws their attention more than like. any english class evr. bt seven soldiers of victory? classic. big dc fan.

uh. very into like. hardcore music. hardcore rock. punk. if its loud n angry they r into it like so so much. hs sm tattoos is like. super covered in them its partially bc they work at a tattoo shop n partially bc they do not know hw to manage their money well.

ooohh u know what theyre. kinda moody i wont lie to u. very defensive like they dnt evr wna talk abt their past. has experienced Things n they do not wish to discuss them. will usually like. deflect frm conversations he doesnt wna hv.

in tune with nature. loves fkn taking walks. hangs out in the woods by abernathy creek n lilac ridge bc nobody rly goes there n its just. nice

tries not 2 take anything super seriously 2 the point where when he does take smth seriously its a little scary bc theyre super intense abt it. forcibly optimistic even tho on the inside he feels like a total pessimist. lots of. deep down insecurities tht he projects by attaching himself p firmly onto others. >.>

so so so energetic. can never stay still. always hs to be moving around. restless like tht. probably got it frm his mom. overly protective over the ppl he loves. probably got it frm his mom as well.

goes onto Tangents bt also divert frm those tangents n is generally all over the place.

always cold n always looks tired n like he hsnt slept in a thousand years n u know what. sometimes he just does not sleep.

oooohh theyre a vegan. totally into animal rights. devious little demi man beyond that .. loves horror n the paranormal n believes in like. every cryptic. will debate u on it.

erm not. the kindest 2 themself theyre a bit self destructive. impulsive. drives very fast n parties super hard. said i will hv my effy stonem moment. u dont hv to gabe. 

bt ya! luvs oranges n reds n is maybe a short king. hs an eyebrow piercing n like. a lip ring i wont fk around here he IS living his best emo life in 2021. a little outdated on the trends bt thats okay. probably will tell u hes frm new jersey. its a personality trait. smokes the shittiest cigarettes ever.

wanted plots.

just ghosting along ,, dnt even exist 2 me ,, ;; god. firstly just the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs like. spoken to romantically n then dropped suddenly. n then maybe like. one tht actually Hurt bt they cnt avoid each other bt theyre actively pretending each other doesnt exist n its. hurtful bc it ws like. actually smth nice bt <3 ykno FKLFSDHG

hey hey heyy c’maahn i’m just a little guy ;; n this is the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs probably. pissed off n hs either fought or been on the verge of fighting just. unable 2 resist a good bicker-turned-duel.

just blistering in the sun ;; they cld b close friends bt also they cld also not b bt just ppl who. indulge in bad impulsive decisions with gabe. general bad influences on each other’s health n just. no good! party hard bt at what cost. 

n also ;; like ... rly solid good friendships ... flings n maybe an exe or two tht either ended on good terms or just. horrendous, ppl they’ve distanced frm, ppl also frm up north, piercing customers, bt not tattoo customers bc im p sure they’d get fired if they were just tattoo’ing ppl willy nilly, etc.