#bc of how many lower class and minority people live there

[theepisceswriter]

Can you do a hot scene with Erwin and Zeke x f!reader with daddy kink, both of the men have a *thing* for her bc she’s such a smarty brat/ a tease. They should’ve be pissed at her but she’s way too playful🤑🤫 I leave the rest to your imagination, love your writing <33 anything you wanna add or change feel free to do it 🤍🥺

Bestie....you fr did something with this request right here. Ily for this and I’m so glad you enjoy my writing, I hope you enjoy this little Drabble!

Synopsis: Set in a modern AU, professor!Erwin and his teacher assistant!Zeke both have the hots for one of their students and decide to invite her over for dinner one night so they can all release their shared tension.

TW: Mature things obviously, fembodied!reader (she/her pronouns), face fucking, oral (fem recieving), degradation, daddy kink, teacher/student, threesome, 18+, MINORS DNI! (these are for the drabble underneath the read more)

Word Count: Google docs was trippin so I wasn’t able to get the word count, but just know it’s a 2k+ mini drabble underneath the readmore 

Headcanons

Let me set the scene for you; Erwin is a professor at your college, teaching a small world history evening class and Zeke is his TA basically, acting as a teacher himself sometimes but mostly doing things like helping grade papers, helping students with their work, or working as Erwin’s fulltime assistant. Needless to say, you interact with the two of them on a daily basis quite a lot and it’s no secret to the other students that you’re most definitely their favorite, taking most of their attention away from everyone else. But they could care less, they’re not as passionate about the class or as eager to learn like you; another factor that drew Erwin and Zeke to you. 

You’re a confident, strong book-savvy student who’s always ready to debate and bicker someone, snarky remarks leaving your mouth in an instant, and Zeke and Erwin always end up being the victim of those. Bickers and debates over information lasting the whole class session almost, either you winning and leaving them red in the face or them winning with a smug expression on their features and you storming out the classroom in annoyance. You all meet each other’s energy so well that you can’t help but clash from time to time, but the three of you do get along pretty well. Many times you’ve found yourself lingering after class to talk with them about everything and nothing like you’re all just good friends catching up. Your bond is definitely an interesting one.

It’s after one of these routine after-class talks that they invite you over formally for once, a dinner at Zeke’s house with Erwin and how could you possibly say no to that? A chance to be alone with your hot history teacher and his sexy teacher assistant.

You didn’t expect to be this nervous as you walked down the corridor leading to Zeke’s apartment yet here you were, fingers fidgeting with the rings on your fingers and your toes awkwardly rubbing against each other the closer you got. All the confidence that made your hips swing from left to right as you entered the classroom like you owned the whole school, the usual overtly confident y/n that they were used to was dwindling down into a nervous wreck. But you couldn’t let them see that, let them know the effect that they had on you, so you swallowed those anxious feelings as if they would be digested by your stomach and let a look of smugness take over your features as you made your way up to the door. Your hand ghosted over the cold wood, curling your fingers into a fist ready to knock but before you could even make contact with the door it was swinging open, greeting you with the sight of a smirking Zeke. He wore slacks with a beige plaid pattern going over them, a creme-colored shirt to match the brown of his pants, and an elongated dark brown coat that brought out the lightness of his round glasses perfectly. 

“You look very nice tonight,” You complimented him for once as you made your way inside the apartment, “Finally you don’t look like a caveman for once.” The joke didn’t go over his head at all, him choosing only to acknowledge it with a dry chuckle. “Good evening to you too Ms. /l/n, You look mighty fine yourself.”

It was then that your confidence came rushing back to you as you remembered the outfit that adorned your body. It was a simple silky champagne pink bodycon dress with a corset-like top, but on you, it fit like a supermodel. The dress hugging every curve and dip on your body and showing off a little more cleavage than expected, your nipples even poking out through the thin fabric, but you couldn’t have picked out an outfit more perfect for this night. The constant glances Zeke took unremorsefully at where the dress stopped at the high of your thighs let you know that it was a great choice. Lips curling up into a smile as you thanked him. 

 “Where’s Professor Smith?”

“Just over here in the kitchen, follow me.”

Is this where being a teacher assistant got Zeke? You couldn’t help but admire the decor and set up of his home as he led you through the hallway and living room to the kitchen where Erwin was standing with his back faced to the two of you, broad shoulders contracting and going back to their original form with every shake of the pan in front of him. He was cooking? That’s something you definitely didn’t expect to see, thinking they’d opt-out for takeout for the night, but it just made the night feel more genuine than it already was.

“I thought I had heard you come in, y/n.” Erwin’s rich and smooth voice infiltrated your ears bringing you out of your thoughts. The same smile on your lips from when you thanked Zeke for his compliment earlier. “And please, leave Professor Smith for school. Call me Erwin.” 

“Erwin.” You repeated with a nod, butterflies erupting in your stomach and your cheeks warming up from the wink that followed after his words. “I’m surprised to see you cooking. I was sure you two would have takeout ready on the table when I came. Probably something cheap too like Chili’s.’ You jabbed at them, taking your place at the table while Zeke situated himself against the arch of the opening of the kitchen. Most people would’ve been offended by such a remark, hurt even, but they were so used to your snarkiness that all they could do was chuckle in return.

“Chili’s? No, Mcdonald’s would’ve been more fitting for you.” Zeke messed with you back, warranting your tongue to stick out at him in a childish manner.

“Calm down children,” Erwin joins in on the teasing as he makes his way to the table with three steaks and bowls filled with sides in his other arm, Zeke going over to help him. Dinner wasn’t too eventful, but it was enjoyable. Most of the time wasted away with the three of you talking about various topics the conversation swayed towards like how you usually did. 

The three of you had decided to relocate to the living room after finishing dinner, now washing it down with a glass of wine as you three sat down silently enjoying each other’s company. But silence wasn’t your forte, so it didn’t take long at all for you to move from your position between them on the couch. Both of their eyebrows raised in confusion as they watched you search around the small area looking for whatever it was you were looking for, not knowing what to expect since you were, well, you after all. 

“Found it!” You announced in a sing-song voice as you shimmied your way over the vintage phonograph vinyl player sitting in the middle of Zeke’s living room that must’ve cost him a fortune. And if it didn’t then the extensive rack of vinyl records sitting next to it definitely did. You squatted down so you were face to face with the rack and if you weren’t facing the other direction you would’ve saw the way both of their eyes immediately traveled down to your ass in the squatting position you were in before blue eyes met brown ones, a silent nod signifying confirmation of some sort between the two. 

Any genre or artist you could think of occupied the shelves, your finger skimming over each and every one until you found one that you craved to hear. Soon the soft melodies of the instruments on the smooth jazz record infiltrated the living room, your body contorting and twisting in a sensual way with each beat that hit your ears. The closing of your eyes really showing how into it you were, arms wrapping around your own body like the two men weren’t watching from not too far away as you put on a show like you were in the comfort of your own room. What a tease, the two men thought to themselves, shifting and manspreading to try and soothe the uncomfortable ache between your legs that you were causing. You knew exactly what you were doing because this wasn’t the first time at all that you had done it. Plenty of times you showed up to class with a shirt on that revealed just a little too much or a skirt that practically put your whole lower body on display, legs spreading purposefully whenever you saw one of their eyes travel to the underside of your opened desk. You did everything in your power to make them succumb to their--no, your desires but it wasn’t until now that they let themselves be selfish.

Zeke was the first one to move from his position on the couch to make his way over to you, calloused hands grabbing at your sides and pulling you closer to his torso as he began to sway along with you, hands moving from your hips and letting them explore the surrounding skin before cheekily slapping your ass and earning a small yelp out of you. Erwin simply watched from the couch, for the time being, still sipping on his wine waiting on his opportunity to slip himself in. 

“I figured this would happen eventually,” Zeke finally spoke up, “I just imagined something a lot less sensual; you bent over the desk in the classroom or something.” 

Before you could counter his words with a sassy remark he moved his lips against yours, gently letting them ghost over yours for a second or two and even going as far as teasing you by rubbing them against yours before he finally indulged you with a kiss. The taste of wine and savoriness from dinner still lingering on both of your tongues as you deepened the kiss. Swirling your tongue around in a way that had precum dripping from the tip of his cock as he thought about how good it might feel if it was there instead, slurping the opaque liquid up. As much as you wanted to keep kissing him and let your tongues explore each other he decided that it was time to pull away, trailing kisses from the corner of your mouth to your neck where he gently let his teeth graze over the sensitive flesh, warranting a gentle moan from you.

It was like music to his ears and immediately he decided that he wanted to pull more from your plush lips, letting his kisses trail farther down until his lips were over one of your nipples protruding from the silk fabric, swirling his tongue around the sensitive nub at a painstakingly slow pace that made you want to shove him away from you completely for denying you pleasure.

“No bra on? What a lewd thing to do, but I wouldn’t expect anything like from someone like you.” He murmured against the fabric.

“Someone like me? What’s that supposed to mean?” You questioned, still a bite to your tone like earlier.

“A slut.” Erwin answered for him and it wasn’t until now that you noticed his presence from behind you, chiseled chest pressed up against your back and his breath fanning across your neck distracting you from the hand he brought up to rest at the nape at it. His other hand going down to scrunch your dress up around your waist. Revealing your lacy underwear to their doting eyes and especially to Zeke who was now dropping down to his knees in front of you. “She’s soaking fucking wet. Her panties are dripping with wetness.” 

“You think we didn’t notice all your advances? All the times you traded your integrity just to get our attention like the bad girl you are, huh?” Erwin’s hand moved from the nape of your neck to the front of it, gently squeezing it with his hand and forcing you to look up at him. A chastising look on his features as he stared down at you, making you feel so little and small compared to his towering structure.

You had no words to respond to him with, too caught up in a daze in your head thinking that this couldn’t be true, that this was a dream you were going to wake up from in a couple of minutes. But it was the warmth of Zeke’s tongue prodding at your clit that brought you back to your senses, eyes widening in shock as you looked up at your professor. This was really happening.

“Hm, looks like the brat doesn’t have anything else to say.”

“I think I like her better like this anyway.” The blonde between your legs mumbles, sending a vibrational tingle up your spine and leaving your legs wobbling. He was so messy with it, tongue devouring you like you were the 2nd course on the menu tonight. You diverted your eyes down to him for a second, his staring right back up at you as he feverously worked his tongue against you. Your juices mixed with his saliva already wetting your thighs up along with his beard.

“Oh god, that f-feels so good.” You let out in a choked moan, knees daring to buckle on you and make you fall to the floor, but Erwin’s death grip around your torso stopped such from happening. Which you were also grateful, but that also meant you weren’t able to buck your hips up into Zeke’s face or swivel them the way you wanted to; taking away any sense of control you thought you had. It wasn’t too long after that you were releasing all over his beard, wetting it up as your insides clenched around nothing, desperately wanting one of their cocks to stuff you up and satisfy that craving. 

Even after your orgasm, he didn’t stop. The pace of his tongue showed no sign of stopping and just to add to the sweet torture you felt two slender fingers entering your hole, a loud moan emitting from your lips in response. “I can’t take it. Too much.” You let out in a ragged breath.

“Come on, sweetheart. You can give us one more. You can take it. You don’t have any choice matter of fact, you’re going to give us as many as we want from you. Maybe if you weren’t so bratty things would be different.” Mouth too occupied on you, all Zeke could do was hum against you in agreeance. 

“Erwin--” 

“Aht, it’s daddy or professor to you from here on out.” Oh

“Daddy,” You quickly corrected yourself with a whine, “I can’t take it anymore. M’too sensitive. I need more. I w-want you inside of me.” Luckily for you, Zeke’s tongue was getting tired from being on you and he was quick to get off of his knees at your request to Erwin. “Look at the begging slut now. You weren’t like that when you first came. Guess you really are just all bark and no bite.” He teased you, fingers going to your nipples and pinching at them. You couldn’t even reply if you wanted to because his lips were on you like earlier forcing you to taste yourself on your tongue. And to your surprise Erwin joined in as well, leaning over from behind you and inserting himself to make a 3-way kiss that had all your tongues entangled with one another’s; everyone getting a taste of you.

“Zeke go sit on the couch and let y/n return the favor.” The older man spoke up after pulling away. Everyone moving away from such close proximity of each other so you could all go to your positions over on the couch. By the time you turned around to head in that direction Zeke was already sitting on the couch with his cock free and sprung up against his stomach, twitching in your direction as he awaited your arrival. Erwin on the other hand was nowhere to be found, completely gone from your view, but you didn’t let that stop you from making your way over to the bearded mand; dropping on your knees as soon as you were in front of him. 

Your hands move to engulf his thick cock with your hands, jerking it a few times and spreading around the pre-cum that cumulated on his tip before you began to lower your head. You were getting ready to bring his tip past your lips when the feeling of two broad hands gripping the crevice between your stomach and hips stopped you abruptly, presumably Erwin behind you getting ready to do something. You went to look behind you to confirm you suspicion only to be stopped by Zeke’s hand roughly grabbing at your chin forcing you to look up at him again. 

“Nobody told you to stop or look behind you. Get back to work.” It was pathetic how much they were able to break you down in such a small amount of time because without a second thought you did exactly what he told you to do, slipping his cock past your lips and gently sucking on it while simultaneously running your tongue over the flushed tip. “And here I was thinking your mouth was only good for arguing.” He groaned out, earning a chuckle from the other man behind you. 

Without the slightest bit of warning, Erwin is sliding his cock into you from behind, the mixture of Zeke’s saliva and your cum acting as a natural lubricant; allowing him to slip in and out of you as he pleased at a pace that made it so you were gagging on cock without hardly moving your head. Your hips also smacking against your professor’s without even moving them. It was like you were their personal sex toy and no longer one of their students, but this wasn’t even the beginning of it. They were nowhere near done with you. 

[zee-writes-and-draws]

Normal world AU where the different buildings are just random groups of people and all of them ended up moving to the small village near the supposedly ‘haunted’ mountain that Samon and Enki grew up on bc property values are low as shit, and all of the minors are adopted by the guards. Qi has basically just grabbed Upa and Liang and ran the hell away from the Chinese mafia. Samon sees this random man dragging two half-dead children with him and this is now the very first time any of the new residents of the village find out the ‘hauntings’ that lowered property values were just a teenage Enki post massive growth spurt and a very small and over-energetic Samon that haven’t been seen in well over a decade.

- Hajime has, unfortunately, agreed to look after Jyugo and Nico while Rock and Uno try to find legal jobs, but it’s a lot on him. He and Seitarou help Uno and Rock fight a case to get custody of the two minors. Yamato is helping Tsukumo get a restraining order against his former agent and various paparazzi, as well as going to therapy so he doesn’t constantly feel the need to put on a persona in front of others. Hajime is a teacher at the local school (since there’s a decent number of local kids and then the building children), Yamato is the school’s coach, and Seitarou sells uniforms/cute festival stuff but is also occasionally seen working with the age 7 and below kids because they’re all very small and nice.

- Kiji is trying to cure Honey of his anger management issues and Trois of his pyromaniac tendencies. His day job is making and testing makeup that everyone buys, like mascara and eyeliner and hair gel. His second in command is working in one of the other small shops, selling everyone clothes (he and Seitarou make the clothing together).

- Kenshirou is only here because some of his dogs are sick and this village has been weirdly good for their health. Along the way he lets Musashi and Hitoshi stay with him because they help on chores and the dogs love both of them very much. He helps with the local stray problem by opening a shelter and rehabilitating most of them (the few who can’t be fixed to near-perfect health are still loved and cared for). Hitoshi bakes lots of food and sells it at Shiro’s restaurant, which is also why his presence is appreciated. Musashi tutors online part-time after Mitsuru rigged up wifi for them. Between all three of their jobs they can afford a place that’s small but has four tiny rooms so each person can a private space. (They sleep in the living room that’s been transformed into the group bedroom).

- Mitsuru is considered the local nuisance in so many ways, but after all of his loudspeakers and amplifiers have been confiscated he’s forced to resort back to regular hand-made instruments, so he at least gets to learn something entertaining as he irritates everyone with his noise-making. He and Momoko live in the same house but there’s a line drawn on the inside and outside that splits the house in half so everyone realizes in all of ten seconds they’re not actually together together, just saving on rent as long-term friends. Momoko works on managing the more official stuff to keep the town from being erased. She’s the unofficial (until the next election of course) mayor of the town at this point. Mitsuru’s day job is rigging up stuff like wifi and helping Hajime with his shop class at the high school.

- Shiro moved here after hearing how wonderful the cuisine is. He approves of being able to gather fresh ingredients on the mountain. Rock is frequently seen at his restaurant, both as a customer and as a worker. Hitoshi was recruited within a week. (Hajime has some mixed feelings but Rock mostly stops acting like an idiot after the first day, so it works out well)

- Inori and Ruka moved here years ago (and dragged the Daisen brothers with them) and are pretty much the only residents who were here before everyone started moving out and the buildings moved in. They’re the only ones initially who know the story behind the hauntings and never shared it out of indifference. Inori works in construction of new buildings/clearing rubble from the old, the Daisen trio help train the different sports teams at the school, and Ruka technically co-owns the makeup business with Kiji but his preferred job is as an unofficial swimming instructor because the two of them don’t get along.

- Samon and Enki bring the village supplies and materials from the mountain and trade this way. Samon has a notable weakness for ice pops, popsicles, and zakuro shaved ice, which he gets to surprise Enki on days it seems like he might want it. The new residents are all pleasantly surprised by how sweet Noriko is. Shiro offers her a job after trying some of her desserts. She bakes on weekends and holidays only to avoid overexerting herself, but the rest of the time her jobs include checking people in, taking orders to Shiro and Rock, and keeping peace if someone starts arguments. Houzuki is the area acupuncture specialist and medic until the Otogi family moves in, but he switches to full time acupuncture and massage therapy after they take up the practice. (they’re better than him at medicine anyways and he’s ok with admitting it).

- Liang and Upa love training on the mountain. Rock joins them frequently, often chatting with Liang as they race up. Qi is marginally less interested in physical activity, but he’s willing to make the hike up with them because of the amazing plant both during the hike and at the arrival itself. In the long run, doing some exercise in this form helps him with his mental health a lot and makes him happier. Tsukumo joins occasionally and talking to Qi helps him gradually come out of his shell.

- Trois takes to the challenge of trying to be constructive in building things instead of weapons and explosives. The downside is he frequently teams up with Mitsuru (who has the most equipment necessary) and therefore there are unique ways of getting around the idea of non-destructive inventions. Honey figures out ways to get Mitsuru his speakers back on the condition that he can use the wiring for his capsules.

- Nico ends up really sad about the lack of wifi so he tries to work with Mitsuru to improve tech, but he’s got a hard time reading the manuals so now Musashi, accompanied by either Uno or Trois depending on the day, can be seen teaching Nico how to read instruction manuals.

- Yamato is still very proud of his Japanese heritage, but he also frequently encourages others to appreciate the culture they live in and the culture they came from. Thanks to him, there’s a small festival hosted each year where everyone brings something like food or games or clothing from their culture and share it with everyone.

- Kiji takes it as a personal challenge to help teach normal world culture to at least one of the Gokuu brothers. Enki is far less willing to go along with the idea that he needs help from someone, so it’s Samon. Inori, who had a similar idea for the last eleven years, is currently trying to teach Samon how to drive. It’s yielding mixed results, but he takes really well to motorbikes. Hajme and Samon have a brief ceasefire whenever the subject of motorcycles comes up.

- No one is allowed to bring up the time that Hajime got lost in the mountain. No  one.

- Kuu comes and goes as he pleases. Mostly he stays at Hajime’s house but sometimes he’ll somehow appear wherever Samon Enki and Noriko are presently staying and lies down in the lap of whoever is trying to meditate. Enki tries to ignore Kuu (and fails), Samon will give him small scritches and complain about Hajime in a quiet tone, and Noriko feeds and pets him.

- In their spare time, many of the adults critique the prison systems they rescued the others from. Kiji, Hajime, and Kenshirou work with Enki to fix things on a bureactraic level, frequently accompanied by Momoko when she isn’t a sole representative in front of various international governments. Hajime knows the prison model perfectly, Kenshirou understands the police aspect that ties into it, and Kiji has several decades of experience serving as a prison guard, and their combined knowledge leads to many of their proposals being pushed pretty far up the ranks. 

- Samon is working on fixing prisons on the level of how each inmate is treated. All the official and formal changes in the world don’t change that there’s also issues with inmates not receiving care, sufficient entertainment, decent things for purchase and not just whether or not they can afford them, all sorts of stuff that slips past the cracks in the paperwork. He’s also the one who’s pushing for  more rehabilitation programs with Kiji and Mitsuru’s help. Between Samon’s knowledge of physical needs of people, Kiji’s balanced addition of general knowledge of what kind of education and paperwork prisoners need for proper rehabilitation to stick, and Mitsuru’s experience in communication, they have a very solid structure. Mitsuru’s ability to middleman and talk to Momoko also helps push their ideas forward.

- Slowly the buildings become more friendly towards one another. Upa smiles more because Nico helped him get out of his shell, there is a photo of Tsukumo laughing as himself for the first time hanging on the wall of Shiro’s restaurant, and Kenshirou’s dogs all adopted different humans to befriend and bond with. Qi gradually gets over his fear of dogs thanks to Musashi and ends up adopting one who works as a service dog for him and keeps him away from panic attacks and self-harming attempts, as well as (gradually) learning how to tell what kind of health Upa and Liang are presently in and alerting the doctor if necessary.

- The time-honored tradition of feuds between the different non-inmates and adults in charge of them continues, but they added in some new competitions. There are now options for multi-building tug-of-war, kids vs adults (and variations) relays, one v one competitions, and general tomfuckery. Most of the time Momoko is the referee, Mitsuru commentates, and although they rarely join in, they tend to tag-team and secure a near-effortless victory. If it’s every person for themselves, Momoko wins unless distracted by Hajime, at which point the rule of funny is frequently used to determine a victor.

[collecting-stories]

Thirteen - JJ Maybank

Request: hi! could you write an imagine where jj and the reader are really close and when they are starting to hook up for the first time and y/n gets scared bc of her past. She has a flashback and JJ helps her. She is reluctant and denies that anything is wrong. But finally she admits to jj that it’s not him and he’s super sweet and protective?

TW: Very brief contextual mention of sexual assault to a minor. 

Outer Banks Masterlist

▽ △ ▽ △

A knock sounded on the bathroom door as you sat on the edge of John B’s tub, head in your hands as you tried not to cry. Not today, not after all this time. You knew who was knocking but you didn’t have it in you to answer. Partially from embarrassment, (had you really just up and ran into the bathroom in the middle of making out?) and partially from the residual and everlasting pit in the bottom of your stomach that threatened to swallow you whole every time you felt even the smallest bit of happiness seep in. 

“Do you...should I go?” JJ’s voice followed his usual three-in-a-row rapping pattern on the wooden door. Like a code you didn’t need to tell you it was just him outside. No one to be afraid of. 

“No,” you shook your head even though he couldn’t see it, looking at the mirror across from you, a silver of forehead reflecting in the glass at your current height. “No, sorry, I’ll be right out.”

“Don’t apologise,” JJ replied hastily, running a hand through his hair. He wasn’t trying to make you feel like you had to rush out, he just wanted to make sure you were okay. He wasn’t exactly world class at comforting people though, “Are you alright? Do you want me to call Kie or something?” 

“No.” That was the last thing you wanted. Then your friends would be up in your business and you loved them, truly, but you didn’t need them interfering in whatever was happening between you and JJ. Or not happening, at this point. 

“Is there, I mean...is there anything I can do?” He asked, pacing the small area around the bathroom door, staring at the pictures Big John had on the wall. “We can talk or something.” 

You sighed, standing up and getting a full view of yourself in the mirror. “Yeah. Okay.”

The bathroom door opened and JJ stood up straight, back hovering against the wall opposite you, as if he was afraid of what would come out. It was just you though, looking a little worse for wear, as if you’d encountered a ghost somewhere between the pull-out couch and the bathroom. And, to be fair, you had. A ghost that looked a lot like you only younger, maybe a little more naive, and scared. You walked out of the bathroom slowly, reminding yourself over and over that the boy your ghost was afraid of wasn’t here and it was JJ, looking sweet and sympathetic and a little scared himself, that was standing across from you. 

“Hey, uh....here,” he led the way into the living room, moving aside the old comforter for you to sit on the pull-out, “you can sit.” 

You chewed at your lower lip as you sat there on the side of the bed, thigh pressed against the arm of the couch, staring at JJ who was still standing, rubbing at his arms the way he did when he was nervous, “You don’t have to be weird JJ...I didn’t mean to freak out.” 

You couldn’t help the guilty feeling gnawing at you. It’d been a perfectly good afternoon until your meltdown. John B was out and JJ invited you over because, truthfully, things between the two of you had been changing. A little more than friends, it had been a long time since you had trusted yourself with letting a crush be anything more than a crush. But JJ was different, you had always been honest with each other and he had trusted you with his dad. You knew you could let him in, it was just the doing so that felt like an insurmountable hill. 

“It’s cool. I just,” JJ shrugged, sitting down beside you but keeping a person sized distance between your body and his. “I just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” 

“It wasn’t you.” You clarified though you hoped he already knew that. 

“Are you...okay? I mean, can I do anything?” JJ asked, teetering on the edge of wanting so desperately to help but also wanting to call anyone else in the world who would be better at this then he was. 

“It’s just-“ You thought about how to tell him so that he understood, how to make it sound so that he didn’t treat you like some sort of leper when he found out, “you know when you told me about your dad...”

“Yeah.” 

God, he would remember that for the rest of his life. The way you looked so upset when you thought he’d been picking a fight with Rafe or Kelce only to have him say that it was his dad. The way you looked, so horrified and angry, like you were going to march over there and beat the crap out of Luke Maybank yourself. JJ had half a mind to think that you could’ve if you really wanted to. 

“That’s, I feel like that.” You replied, thinking of the way he looked when he told you, that pain like a piece of broken glass wedges into his heart. 

“Is someone hurting you?” He paled as his eyes met yours. Immediately running through every possible candidate in his mind. 

“No, no.” You shook your head, not anymore. “I’m, I just don’t want you to think of me any differently.”

“I wouldn’t.” 

“Yeah but-“ you started to say but JJ shook his head, cutting you off. 

“No, seriously. I wouldn’t. Whatever it is you can tell me.” He replied. He waved his hand between the two of you as he continued, “this is a judgement free zone.” 

“Yeah okay.” You nodded. 

“What’s going on?” 

“It’s just...I haven’t really...done this before.” You replied. It was a complicated truth and you were trying your best to get it out, to explain something you’d never explained before. “Well,”

“Hey, it’s okay.” JJ scooted closer finally and you found a small piece of you immediately comforted by the feeling of his hand against your back, “Is it okay if I touch you?”

You nodded your head, moving your leg so your knee brushed his as id to silently confirm that it was okay. 

“I guess...” you tried to think of the words to say as you started to talk, “when I was 13 I had the biggest crush on my friend’s brother. I thought he was so cool. And he talked to me, ya know...like made me feel special. On day when I was over their house he told me he liked me a lot and that if I liked him I should...show him.” You took a deep breath, trying to ground yourself again.

Trying not to run for the bathroom and lock yourself inside. This was JJ. Funny, dumb, always high JJ, who tried to do party tricks to impress you at the risk of breaking a bone. Who lied through his teeth to buy a keg the week before while you sat in the driver’s side of your jeep honking the horn at him so many times the guy in the shop sold the keg just to get you to leave. JJ who always made sure you were okay any time you were feeling nervous. 

You pushed on, “I just really wanted him to like me and I didn’t want to do that but I felt like I had to. And I haven’t been with anyone since then cause-“ 

“Hey, it’s okay. We don’t have to do anything, at all.” JJ stressed, his hand rubbing warm circles on your back. He leaned over and kissed your exposed shoulder, so gently you almost swore it was your imagination, “Whatever you want, I’m happy just hanging out like we always do.” 

“I know you are. I just, I like you but I just feel like, I’m not sure...how to be with someone.” You didn’t even think you were making sense at this point but he didn’t seemed fazed. “It feels, it doesn’t feel like I think it should.” 

“Maybe that’s like, you telling yourself you aren’t ready for that yet.” JJ replied, unsure if he was even doing this comforting thing right. 

“Yeah but you’ve been with like, a ton of girls before.” You weren’t naive enough to think that JJ had never hooked up with the girls he hung around at parties, you knew that was pretty much all he did. 

“So what? That doesn’t have anything to do with this.” He insisted.

“If that’s true then I should be fine.” You argued. If he could just move on and not think about or compare you to anyone he’d ever been with then you shouldn’t still be carrying this weight. You didn’t even want it. 

“That’s different, someone hurt you.” He replied, “Yeah I’ve had sex before but, both of us wanted it. What your friend’s brother did wasn’t anything like that.” 

“I just don’t want you to think I’m messed up or something,” you explained. “or that you want something I can’t give you yet.”

JJ frowned at the sentiment, the last thing he would ever want is for you to feel any kind of pressure. From him, yourself, or anyone else, “I don’t care about that. And hey, we agreed, no judgement.” 

“Yeah I know but-“ 

“No. When I told you about my dad, that was really hard but you didn’t bail on me or make me feel weak. This is me doing the same for you.” He replied. “Forget dating or whatever, this is me and you alright. Best friends before anything else. What happened wasn’t your fault and it doesn’t change the way I feel about you at all. Don’t think that it does.”

“Okay.”

“That was a half-ass okay.” JJ replied, his shoulder knocking against yours. 

“It’s the best okay I can offer.” 

“How about, we just watch something? John B’s not back for another couple of hours.” He suggested, getting up and climbing onto the bed, the springs creaking as they buckled under his weight. You twisted to watch him as he made himself comfortable, spreading out with his back against the cushions and his arms out on either side. “We can even take a nap.”

You kneeled up onto the bed and crawled over to him, careful as you laid down beside him and rested your head against his shoulder. His  arm came around to drape over you and you reached up to hold his hand. “You got a full eight hours last night, how are you still tired?” You asked, the mood lightening significantly as you relaxed with him, “What would you have done if we had actually had sex?”

“Fallen asleep on you.” He replied, shrugging as if it was the obvious answer, “You would have asphyxiated cause I would’ve crushed you to death.” 

“You’ve been hanging out with Pope too long, you actually know what that word means.” 

“Are you saying I’m not smart enough to know things without hanging out with Pope?” He asked, sitting up a little more to look at you. 

“No, I’m just saying Pope is smarter than you,” you almost shrieked as he tackled you against the cushions, fingers prodding your sides over your tank top. “Oh my god, JJ! Stop, you know I’m ticklish!”

“Not until you admit that I’m the smartest person you know.” 

“Yes, yes, okay, you JJ Maybank are the smartest person I know,” you laughed as he stopped tickling you, hands holding your sides as he leant over you and placed a kiss on your forehead. 

“Good,” He replied, “you admit the truth. Now, let’s watch something happy.” 

-

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[dwfewgfew]

we put out the gender issue at National Geographic magazine

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[noctomania]

As Someone Who Didn’t Vote For 10 Years: Your Vote Matters.

Hey. So, let’s chat. Or rather, hear me out.

I turned 18 in 2006. I did not vote until 2016. Bc even I saw through my apathy & prioritized trying to combat potential fascism. You can get an idea of how many elections one sits out of over a 10yr span here. It’s a lot & I should have done my part much sooner. Though I could say “well I was in college from 2007-2012 & &&” no. Not an excuse. I had time no doubt. I was just apathetic. I have reflections for those who continue to abstain from their right & duty to vote.

I remember my parents encouraging me to register to vote. I think it was part of applying for my license or something. I can’t remember if I ever registered with a party, but I think in TX in order to vote you have to be registered with a party. In any case, since I’ve been registered in the north I haven’t been part of a party bc I too felt the whole thing was a sham. I was still remembering the robbery that was Bush’s terms. TWO WHOLE TERMS. I remember seeing my mom cry when he won his first term. I remember hearing about all the awful shit he was doing as president from my dad & stepmom.

But I also remember thinking: “Why isn’t anyone doing anything?”

It can be incredibly disheartening & frustrating & downright angering to hear about atrocities without hearing about the forces fighting back. Death & Drama sells.

I wasn’t eligible to vote when bush was running. Then Obama came along & I was like “Great, surely my blue state I live in now is all for him & I don’t gotta bother - y'all got my order.”

Your. Vote. Matters.

Obama was an incredible victory. I will never allude to him ever being perfect bc he, just like every other president, has had to make tough decisions that do not always work out, or they make decisions you outright disagree with. He’s just part of the spectrum of what we’ve known, but he was the first Black president of a nation that was built & raised on destroying Native communities & enslaving Black people. That was & will remain significant. As you can imagine, during that time of not voting I also was not entirely involved in racial matters as much as I should have been despite what I was actively learning about in college. I sunk into apathy.

Apathy is a comfort not afforded to everyone. It is not an option for everyone as a means of survival. Were Black communities & of color to sink entirely into apathy they would be completely wiped out bc there are organized white supremacists who spend every waking hour trying to find new ways to attack in covert & not-so-covert ways - voter suppression, intimidation, manipulation, propaganda. Apathy is a privilege. A white privilege that even a kid raised on free lunches at school & hand-me-downs from neighbors could afford.

Your. Vote. Matters.

Let’s talk symbolism. “My refusal to vote is symbolic of my disgust with how this nation is run, how our elections are corrupt, to show my hatred of the electoral college, my vote doesn’t matter anyway bc ...”

You’re right. Your vote is symbolic. But not for what you think.

When you don’t vote, that is like not replying to a message. The nation poses a question to all voters: Who do you want to represent you? If you don’t reply to the email, your input isn’t counted at all. There is no footnote to say “I didn’t vote bc of such-and-such reason.” You might have been unconscious. You might have forgotten. You might have not cared. You might care very much.

But there is literally no job in the entire election process who’s responsibility is to sit in an office & contemplate why Jared in Oklahoma didn’t cast a vote.

“Gee, I sure hope Jared is ok. Is he mad at us? I guess he might want change...”

No. The way you show that you are not happy with how things are going is to vote. THAT is how you send the sentiment of “Hey so this isn’t great I’d like to try moving this way.” But we can’t really make progress without continuing to push. Even when things look like they’re going well (”Hey, we got a Black guy in office, we’re doing great with the racism stuff!”) you gotta keep pushing - which is why you need to be able to realize the ones you do vote for need to be criticized as well. Obviously, there will be myths & the ones about Obama probably hit a record tally on that with how angry a Black person as president made the racists in this country feel, but there are valid criticisms as well that should not be overlooked if we want to know how to push for a better tomorrow, or to avoid accidentally electing a new nightmare bc you aren’t getting immediate results from who you thought was going to change the world. It’s a lot to put on one president. It would take multiple terms, beyond 2, to really see a shift considering they may be combating an opposing congress or supreme court. 

The only reason your vote matters is because it is symbolic. If we all had esp we wouldn’t need to vote. Writing on a form that looks different depending on where you are yet all cumulatively results in the tallying for ONE election is entirely symbolic. That’s not an argument against voting, it’s proof as to why you should vote. Symbolism is not without consequence. Look at every book-burning that has ever happened. Our ideas are symbolic until they are put into practice. Your vote is your idea. We can’t read your mind. And the government isn’t reading your blog being like “GiantD0ngB0ng really said it best when they said ‘Fuck politicians’. That really change our perspective on how we had been running this nation. You’re right GiantD0ngB0ng, you’re right.”

If we had elected Hillary after Obama, we wouldn’t be so fucking bad with corona bc she wouldn’t have dismembered the pandemic response Obama had built due to swine flu, we wouldn’t be nearly as worried about ACA, we would still absolutely have criticisms bc no matter Woman, Black, Hispanic, Immigrant, Trans, Disabled, Homeless, or any combination of intersection of minorities, nobody is perfect. Nobody knows all the answers. Thus a decentralized government model that will only remain anywhere near as such if we stop letting fascists & bad faith actors get power by using our symbolic vote to say no.

Most everyone HATES group projects. I certainly do. If any people enjoy them, there are still likely aspects of it that rub them the wrong way like having a partner that doesn’t contribute. Guess what.

Elections are group projects.

I believe it was EvelynFromTheInternets who made me realize that, & echoes much of the same sentiment I have written in this.

And at 5:55 she says: What Are You Going To Do On November 4th bc We Are Still Fighting For Suffrage. We have to keep pushing & working towards a better tomorrow, today. None of it will amount to much if people are not voting. You can campaign & fundraising & educate all you want. But if people don’t vote it’s all for nothing. You need both.

“ As of June 2020, the United States had the highest number of incarcerated individuals worldwide, with more than 2.12 million people in prison “ This is absolutely part of the bigger problem & yet another way people have been disheartened. It’s on purpose. They don’t want disenfranchised communities to be able to vote. So we - those of us who don’t have to wait in lines for hours, those of us who don’t face racial violence, those of us who can choose apathy & laziness for a decade with little to no personal consequence - must vote symbolically for them.

If you want your vote to mean something then vote for them. Vote for the people who are still ineligible to vote even though they aren’t in prison anymore. Vote for the people who despite working more than you do, harder than you do, for less than you do, still have to pay taxes & still denied the right to vote. Vote for the people who can’t vote bc police murdered them. Vote for the people who wait 10 hours in line to vote & are turned away when they finally get to the front of the line. Vote for those who don’t have the right to relinquish in the first place. Hell you can even vote for those who do vote anyway but have been misled by propaganda. Bc if you don’t, eventually we all will sink. You may be in the upper class of the titanic but in the end the whole ship is going down & you may just have the opportunity to slowly freeze out in the dark ocean on a lifeboat with all your rich strangers with the slim chance at survival rather than swallowed immediately by the sea like those who were locked in the lower levels to keep them from access to rescue.

At 7:24 Evelyn hits another really important part that I think drives my whole point home: as a Black woman her actual life, & those who share her experience, is on the line constantly in this country & much of this world. It is not entirely as symbolic to some people as it is to the more privileged populations.

Sure, your vote is symbolic, & sure you not voting is absolutely symbolic. But the only thing not voting is symbolic of is your apathy, your own privilege to choose that & think you’ll be fine & that it’s other people who need to “wake up”. No babe, it’s you. Wake up to the wider consequences of symbolic gestures.

Your vote matters whether it’s electoral college or popular vote. Your vote matters to getting closer to an admin that will enable popular vote as the determinant & eradicate the electoral college. Your vote matters whether you’re in a “blue” state or a “red” state or a battleground state. A state is only red or blue until it’s not. I come from TX I know about that shit. The only reason “battleground” states are a focus is bc they fluctuate more often than others, that doesn’t make others ineligible to change. Your vote matters bc you may be only a portion of the overall grade, but the overall grade affects everyone. It will impact others more harshly than you.

Your Vote Matters.

I want to add one last note: voting doesn’t happen once every 4 years, & it’s never JUST about president. If you don’t go vote at all, you are neglecting the more local stuff as well which is what affects the bigger elections. If all you do during a group project is read one line during the presentation in class, the grade will reflect you lack of effort elsewhere throughout the project. If I showed up & only voted for president & nothing else it would be for nothing. Racist & bigoted GOP will vote all red all the time up & down ballot. It’s not about age either. If your vote didn’t matter then they wouldn’t sink so much money & effort into trying to prevent people from doing it.

[multibear]

cute nickname asks: **all of them**

angel - what’s one character trait you like about yourself?

uhhhh like physically or personality? bc there’s not anything i can think of lol.

doll - what’s your favourite outfit?

at the moment, i rlly like dark or red clothes. sometimes light colored clothes if i’m wearing something black with it and i can match another thing of the same color. i really like baggy/loungy clothing but rn when i’m feeling Particularly femme i like wearing my black skinny jeans with a pink turtleneck and black wedges, a kinda dark plum thin turtleneck sweater and black wedges, or a red turtleneck with red converse or black wedges. (can u tell i like turtlenecks). otherwise i like wearing oversized shirts i stole from my brother, the windbreaker i stole from my brother, jeans or joggers (that are my own), and converse (i like my boots but it’s too warm for them now). i also like wearing jewelry. i think i look better in gold than silver but i have a lot of silver jewelry i rlly like as well. the two things that i always wear are the gold mini hoop earrings i got when i was a babby and the silver heart ring u gave me freshman year.

pumpkin - what’s your favourite weather and why?

i like when it’s nice out bc i like going out on my deck and laying in the sun. i also like when it’s nice but not too nice bc that means there won’t be kids at the playground i like going to and i can go on the swings

baby - what makes you feel better when you’re down?

idk i don’t rlly do anything to make me feel better… i’d like to say listening to music, but all my playlists correspond to my mood, so if i’m sad i listen to one of my many sad playlists bc listening to happy music will just make me feel existential. i do have one “listen to this 2 make u happy” playlist but that’s rlly a small pick-me-up for something very minor.

sugarpie - what’s your favourite sweet treat?

i don’t have a favorite bc i don’t actually like sweets all that much. i do like those chocolate cookies with white chocolate chips. when it snows i like making that canadian maple syrup snow candy. i think the closest thing to a favorite “sweet treat” would be chocolate chip pain au lait.

kitten - are you a dog person or a cat person?

cat but i like dogs too

princess - if you could live in any other time period, which would it be?

relive the 2000s but as a teenager

peach - what’s your ideal aesthetic?

oversized black clothing (with tucking in ofc bc i always tuck everything in), chunky boots… comfy goth basically

darling -  what romantic gesture makes you feel the most loved?

this isn’t rlly a romantic gesture but i feel rlly loved when i have long and not necessarily deep conversations that just go on and on. i also feel particularly loved when i’m just remembered??? idk. once freshman year i took the bus home on a wednesday and a guy i was friends with (not into or anything) was like “????? why r u here u said u have speech and debate on wednesdays” and it was something i had mentioned weeks before and i was just so surprised and touched that he remembered something miniscule like that. wow none of these are romantic gestures. i think it’s that the things that make me feel loved aren’t rlly romantic gestures.

button - do you have a type? what is it like?

i recently realized that i miiiiiight have a thing for ppl that aren’t necessarily younger than me just younger/youngest in comparison to the people they’re around. i also thought that i can’t possible have a thing for tall people because that’s just evryone, but i notice that,,,, idk,,, i find it more with people who r like tall tall and not just taller than me or average height.

sweet pea - what’s your favourite flower?

i like hibiscus flowers bc they’re a perfect biological model for parts of a flower.

petal - what’s your favourite smell or perfume?

i currently use a perfume that according to the internet “has a variety of spicy and savory notes, almond, vanilla with raspberry,” however i rlly like jasmine and i kinda wanna try ylang ylang. but i think i rlly like savory scents like spices and candles more.

sunshine - what’s the nicest compliment you’ve ever gotten?

ghfhdgfdgj i LOVE when ppl compliment my hair when it’s curly i love it so much and when they compliment my haircut i’m like “!!!!!!!!! thanks i did it myself!!!!!!!!!” nd they’re like “!!!!!!wow!!!!”

baby girl - how do you like to be held?

okay first of all the nickname for this one rlly came for me like that hhf. nd uhhh i rlly like being held tightly around my waist and hips. whether it’s spooning nd there’s an arm around my waist, or sitting together and a hand around my waist and holding my hip…… i lIKE FEELING BIG HANDS ON MY WAIST OKAY hfjgd. nd i like when i’m “lower” like i’m laying against someone’s chest…. i just like feeling small nd tiny uwu….

lover - how do you show someone you like them?

i’m a shy bitch honestly the most i do is reciprocate when u show me u like me bc i hate making the first move.

buttercup - what does/would your online dating bio say?

“call me cold bitch cuz a bitch cold” idk something that makes people go “what the fuck” and message me because “what the fuck”

boo - what’s your dream date?

idk whatever u want

cupcake - if you’re treating yourself, what do you do?

i don’t like treating myself bc i always feel guilty abt it but the one thing that never directly makes me feel guilty is facemasks

wild thing - what’s something about you that surprises people?

i say Fuck. people think i’m too small and cute for that.

bubba - tell me a funny story from your childhood.

i gave my fourth grade teacher SUCH a hard time. not bc i was a bad kid or anything, i was just…. unique… and put him in a lot of tough situations. once, a kid in my class was pointing to a dictionary in our reading corner and telling me and another kid “owo this has a bad word in it” and we were like “?????? no?? it doesn’t?” and he kept insisting it does and we kept insisting it doesn’t and he underlined with his finger and said “look: d-i-c” and we were like “dic??? dick?? dick isn’t a bad word??” and he was like “HJGFJSDFJ omg stop saying it” and we kept insisting it’s not. so i called my teacher over bc he’s an adult and he knows everything and tells him “____ is saying dictionary has a bad word in it. he says that dick is a bad word,” and i still remember the pained look in his eye when he realized he had two options: reprimand the kid in front of us and also tell us Not to say that, indirectly teaching us a bad word, or lie to us and reprimand the kid in private, also indirectly teaching us a bad word. so, he lied. at the time, i mistook the utter agony in his tone as he said “dick is not a bad word” as disappointment for the kid telling us false information, and not because i gave him one of the hardest decisions of his teaching career and he had to tell two nine year olds “dick is not a bad word.” i remember how smug and prideful i felt that i was right, that dick is not a bad word, that ____ was getting punished for lying to other students about bad words.

honey - what’s your favourite hot drink?

chai

love bug - what song would you love to have sung to you?

i either want to be held close as serendipity is sung to me or someone to spit fire at me with p.a.c.e or better yet double not bc i think i need someone to tell say “yeezy” and “like mate, stop procrastinating” within twenty seconds to me

cutie - what’s your favourite fairytale?

wow um,,,, i was never really a fairy tale kid?? my mom just kinda handed me harry potter and went “figure out the big words urself.” the closest thing to fairytale that i like is how i go BUCKWILD whenever i encounter biblical allusions, especially to genesis. like if there’s imagery of apples AND snakes??? FUCK yea that’s tasty

dumpling - what’s your favourite movie right now?

i’ve never been able to choose a favorite. my top have always been 3 idiots, lion, english vinglish, the martian, and bird box

my love - what would your dream home be like?

idk,,,,, whatever u want as long as there’s plenty of natural light and plants. oh and i also want 2 grow local plants to reduce habitat fragmentation and in the space that isn’t used for that a functional kitchen garden.

dear - pick whatever question you’d most like to answer!

well i already answered ALL of them soo (i hate u)

[seoulscenarios]

College AU! Han Jisung

i may have gotten a little carried away with the linguistics part,,, i studied a linguistics module and poured my own damn feelings into this lmao

-Major: Linguistics with TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages)

-Minor: Lyrical Composition,, though he kept pretty quiet about it

-Sports: none,,, he tried joining Hyunjin’s basketball team but he got cut from the team during tryouts for Naruto running across the court which was apparently against the rules

-Clubs: Jisung joined the dance club but gave up after two weeks bc Minho kept making him do all the difficult stuff lmao, is a part of the art club bc he likes to draw, esp characters, and design artwork for 3RACHAs posters/mixtape covers,,,, all the posters you see advertised around campus for the next 3RACHA gig, yeah those were designed by J.One lmao

-So,,, linguistics???

-Jisung honestly couldn’t tell you why he ended up majoring in linguistics when he first got to college bc it’s such a weird niche subject

-9 times out of 10 he ends up having to explain what the hell linguistics is to people bc they have no clue

-It’s the study of language

-So like you’re learning a language??

-No,,, I study how language is formed and used and structured

-……. So no actual language??

-NO

-Honestly Jisung is a bit sick of it tbh, like there’s only so many times he can explain what it is before he wants to explode with anger

-So whilst Jisung didn’t know why he chose linguistics at first, he soon realised that he loved learning about syntax, semantics and pragmatics behind language,,,, he just really loved it

-It also helped him when he was writing lyrics and more often than not, he ended up helping Chan and Changbin with their lyrics when they had an awkward phrase or there was no flow in the lyric

-It really did come in handy for the three of them when they were writing songs late at night and Jisung’s linguistic brain took over when he was checking lyrics

-However,,,, as much as he enjoyed linguistics he actually really despised it at the same time

-I mean,,, idk about you but linguistics is really really REALLY hard to learn and get your head around

-Like if you don’t get something, it makes learning and understanding literally everything else so difficult

-Jisung constantly had an IPA chart in his hand trying to learn the symbols for different consonants and vowels when he was trying to study

-Which,, was hardly ever bc linguistics revision made him want to CRY most of the time bc he couldn’t think of anything worse than writing out the correct pronunciation of sentences or annotate sentences with their different particle abbreviations or,,,, the actual worst which was learning the different phonological rules

-So yeah, Jisung was the literal definition of winging it when it came to his linguistic exams having crammed the night before and bouncing off the wall from 4 espresso shots he had just downed

-He wasn’t that stressed about the exam bc,,, well if everyone else finds it difficult they’ll just lower the grade boundary lmao

-Whilst Jisung seemed like a good kid during class,,,, most of the time was not

-Boy has a LOT of energy and spends most of class literally bouncing in his seat or constantly yelling to a friend across the room from him

-He was asked to leave a few times bc of class disruption and Jisung literally did the Naruto run out of class whilst everyone cheered him on bc of how distraught their teacher was at him

-They didn’t hate him, oh no, bc he was a kind hearted kid he just,,,, was a bit too much sometimes esp for a 9am linguistic class where everyone was literally dead on their feet and he was bouncing off the walls, yelling the answers out even if they were wrong

-He was a much appreciated addition to the class though bc otherwise,,, that class would be DEAD and no one would participate so they were just glad Jisung was there so they didn’t have to answer

-And you bet ur ass when he had to a presentation there were tons of anime references and bad slideshow transition bc that’s who Jisung is a person and he thought they were funny,,, tho the look on one of the examiners face made him slightly regret it but his other examiner was crying at the effects so u win some u lose some Jisung thought

-So alongside his linguistics major, he also took a TESOL path bc he learnt how to speak English so he wanted to help others learn how to

-He always tested out his methods on Jeongin bc,,, they lived together and Jisung literally locked him the living room so he could practice his teaching methods on him lmao

-Jeongin always protested and tried to run away to literally anyone’s house but Jisung just caught him in a hug,,,, and Jeongin could never refuse a hug even if it was from one of his most annoying hyungs

-Besides,,, it meant he got free English lessons without having to be taught by a stuffy professor

-Jisung was a very,, enigmatic teacher and the kind of teacher that would never make a class boring

-In fact, many of the students who signed up for English classes tried to request him despite the fact that u know,,, there were quite a few TESOL students who needed the students to teach as well

-But for the 1-1 sessions,,, Jisung was so oversubscribed that they literally had to redistribute the students so Jisung could get some damn rest,,,, I mean he tried to protest saying that it was fine but the professors were like JISUNG NO

-JISUNG YES he yelled, trying to redo his schedule so he could accommodate all the students before one of his classmates literally had to rip his planner out of his hands and another one grabbed his pen so he couldn’t write any of it down

-Poor baby,,, he just wanted to teach

-A lot of his students came out of their 1-1 classes extremely overwhelmed and had gone to his professor to ask if Jisung is always that enthusiastic and that maybe he should calm down on the coffee

-The gag? Jisung doesn’t even drink coffee unless he accidentally pulls an all nighter before an exam

-The professor just shook his head and was like,,, no that’s just Jisung

-O h

-Jisung wasn’t always the most well prepared for his classes though, preferring to have a very lax lesson plan and once he got called to the head of departments office bc apparently teaching the students English using Beyonce lyrics wasn’t appropriate no matter how much they seemed to enjoy it

-Jisung was offended bc,,, did she just insult Queen Bey just now?? He was going to argue but he didn’t want to get ANOTHER warning bc the last time he was called there was bc he showed his students The Bee Movie and one kid on the feedback form just quoted the opening monologue for his response to “what did you learn that helped improve your English skills?”

-Jisung just felt that learning English through academics wasn’t interesting and certainly wasn’t going to make anyone enjoy it or learn much from it so he liked to use a lot of songs and films and tv shows that had helped him learn English all those years ago

-He still went to Chan and Felix’s flat though just to make sure he could still understand English and that he was still able to English bc lbr here,,, English is extremely difficult

-Like even for Jisung, who lived in Malaysia in his childhood and could speak and understand English well, it’s still hard bc it’s not his native language

-Sometimes Chan had to look over his teaching notes and correct all the English on it bc Jisung had made them the night before and was clearly extremely tired bc it was a jumble of Korean and English that shouldn’t even be together and,,,, were those Zico lyrics in the corner???? JISUNG NO

-But yeah, Chan was very helpful towards Jisung bc of all the help Jisung gave to him when they wrote lyrics together so he was extremely willing to help Jisung with his English

-Heck, he even taught Jisung English once a week so Jisung would feel more comfortable speaking English with his students and his professors bc he wasn’t afraid of getting the answer wrong exactly,,, but still at the back of his mind was that lingering feeling of disappointment if he got it extremely wrong and everyone knew that it was wrong

-The English lessons chan gave to him was extremely useful and he felt even more confident when he went to teach bc he knew that Chan’s lessons would pay off

-You, however, were not a linguistics major

-You studied TESOL full time bc you really wanted to be an English teacher

-You used to volunteer at elementary schools whilst you were a high school student, giving out free English lessons to the kids

-Whilst you may not be as crazy as Jisung was when he taught English, you were still extremely charismatic and enthusiastic bc you had so much passion and love for it

-You met Jisung in a rather,,,, unusual fashion

-It was your first day of classes and you were running late bc you had a meeting with your academic advisor which should have only been a few minutes but ended up being way longer,,, you were polite enough to hear her out but honestly u just wanted to blast

-You didn’t want to miss your first TESOL class bc hello,, that was your damn major

-LUCKILY

-There was still a seat just by the door which you managed to grab before the professor could give you an evil glare for being late to class lmao

-You knew that this would be your spot for the duration of this module bc that’s just how seating arrangements worked,,, u choose one spot and suddenly it’s yours for the rest of the semester/year

-Unfortunately, you couldn’t make that class the next week bc you had doctors appointment during that particular class

-Which, fortunately, for Jisung meant there was one free space when he actually turned up to class that week

-He didn’t mean to not turn up the previous introduction class,, but honestly he kinda gathered he wouldn’t miss anything that he couldn’t find out from the information pack online or by talking to other students lmao

-So when he turned up the week and saw everyone else sat in their respective seats he sighed but spotted a spare one just by the door

-You weren’t there so, without thinking, he just went and sat in it pulling out his notes

-The third week of class comes round, and you arrive to class to see a boy sat in “your” seat and ur fuming bc hello,,,, did he not realise that the seat was already claimed by you

-You stalked up to it and placed your hands on the desk, tapping impatiently

-The boy looked up from his phone and pulled a headphone out, and you could hear a heavy beat with a melodic voice rapping over the top bleed out through the now free headphone

-“I believe you’re sat in my seat”

-The boy just looked at you confused from under his black bangs and beanie

-“But,,, I was sat here last week?”

-“And I was sat here in the first week which makes this MY seat so move it before I drop kick you outta this seat”

-The boy just laughed, before gathering his stuff and placing it on the empty seat next to you,,,, guess that person didn’t want to go to class this week

-(Plot twist: they did turn up albeit 10 minutes late and they realised,,, they lost their seat to Jisung forever and rumour has it the department had to steal a new table for the classroom)

-You just sighed, placing your bag heavily on the table whilst the other boy just sat there, tapping his fingers in time with the music

-Little did you know that this was going to be the beginning of your friendship with Jisung

-As the class started you couldn’t help but be drawn to the boy next to you as he bounced excitedly in his seat whilst your professor spouted some nonsense about how to teach the possessive case as easily as possible

-You couldn’t help but smile as Jisung yelled out nonsense answers to the questions asked by both professor and students, and you full on laughed as Jisung got into a friendly debate with the teacher and the teacher just gave up halfway through

-You caught Jisung’s eye as he sat back down in his seat once the teacher turned his attention elsewhere and he just grinned at you, seeing the smile that was playing around your mouth

-When the two of you were partnered up for a quiz that was going to happen next lesson and the class split off in order to delegate revision

-“I’m Jisung!” the boy, Jisung you now knew, burst out excitedly

-You laughed at his enthusiasm and he smiled at you, before introducing yourself

-“And I’m Y/N, pleasure to meet you Jisung”

-And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the beginning of a beautiful if slightly crazy friendship

-You see, Jisung brought out the loud, childish side in you especially during class whilst you had the ability to mellow him slightly when he got just a little too raucous when challenging a teacher or throwing out answers

-The two of you became extremely close friends, even hanging out with each other at the others flats

-You could be seen playing video games most days instead of studying or having Netflix binges when you should’ve been making lesson plans

-But it was all in good fun, considering you hadn’t failed any classes yet and you had a good social life as well

-Jisung introduced you to his friends and you were essentially one of them now

-Like, you frequently had the boys over in your flat even without Jisung being there

-You came back one day after class with Jisung in tow and found Seungmin and Hyunjin sat outside your door, pouting bc Changbin kicked them out of their apartment bc he “needed space to think for his new track and he couldn’t hear himself think over the sound of a law book being thrown at Hyunjin whilst he was playing overwatch so you NEED TO LEAVE BEFORE I DRAG YOU OUT” to which Hyunjin had replied with “can you even reach my neck?” and Changbin nearly tackled Hyunjin so Seungmin dragged him away before he would be looking for a new flatmate

-You just roll your eyes before unlocking your door and letting them in, knowing they feared the wrath of Changbin lmao

-I mean, they knew where everything was in the flat now so nothing was sacred

-But only Jisung knew where your secret stash of snacks were :’)

-True friendship

-Before you knew it, everyone but Changbin had turned up to your tiny flat for an impromptu movie night

-Chan and Woojin had brought along snacks and drinks, and a very disgruntled Jeongin who just wanted to sleep, whilst Felix and Minho brought more blankets and pillows and set up a pillow fort in front of your TV

-You watch in utter horror as popcorn ends up in every corner of the room before the film had even started bc Hyunjin was retelling his story of nearly being killed by Changbin that afternoon and they all retaliated by throwing popcorn at him

-The boys decided to watch a horror film, and you were less than thrilled

-You didn’t hate them,, you just hated the jump scares and sometimes you had to sleep with the light on just in case

-As you grabbed the drinks bottles from the kitchen, you navigated your way through the pile of boys that had accumulated on your sofa and floor placing the bottles on the floor next to the table

-Frowning, you couldn’t see any free spaces to sit on your sofa and you were slightly annoyed,,,, bc hello it’s your flat AND you sofa u didn’t care that you had guests they were your friends

-As you stood there trying to figure out where to sit, a hand wrapped itself around your wrist and you looked down to see Jisung staring up at you, gesturing to a space next to him

-Knowing there was nowhere else to sit, you begrudgingly sat next to him and Jisung smiled really widely as he felt the heat from your body next to his

-As the film progressed, you found yourself moving closer and closer to Jisung the more jump scares that occurred

-Safe to say, you whimpered quite a lot and at one point you buried you face into Jisung’s chest trying to calm down

-Jisung,,, was pretty concerned with you bc he didn’t know that you were scared of horror films so rather than laughing at you like he would do with the boys,,, he grabbed your hand and rubbed circles onto the back of it soothingly in an attempt to calm you down

-By the end of the film you were basically sat in Jisung’s lap and he had one arm wrapped around your shoulders and his other hand holding yours uwu

-You didn’t realise the film was over until you heard someone, who sounded suspiciously like Seungmin, cough and you practically leapt out of Jisung’s lap

-You didn’t see the smirks Hyunjin and Minho sent Jisung’s way bc you were too embarrassed to admit the fact you were scared and needed Jisung to protect you lmao

-Deciding the night was still young, the boys picked another film and at this point,, you were extremely tired

-The last film had worn you out emotionally and you found yourself drifting off during the second one

-As you did, you shuffled closer to Jisung bc he was warm and soft and you missed the warmth to be quite honest

-As you rested your head on his shoulder, your hand found his and entangled your fingers together before getting comfortable to watch the film

-Jisung was a blushing MESS at your actions tbh,,, like who allowed you to be so cute and play with his heart like this

-The smirks on Hyunjin and Minho’s faces only grew wider as Jisung sent them a panicked look

-You’ll thank us later was what Minho mouthed at him, before turning his attention back to the film that was playing

-Jisung could not find it in him to concentrate on the film, instead choosing to take in your features one by one

-The way your eyelashes rested perfectly on your cheekbones, how your eyebrows would furrow as you shuffled trying to get comfier and the feel on your fingers intertwined with his made his heart rate pick up and left him breathless

-I mean, Jisung had always acknowledged that you were attractive and when you ended up spending more time with him and you got closer,,,, he began to notice everything about you, and whilst sometimes he had trouble recalling what his friends told him sometimes,, he managed to always remember everything you said so clearly

-He gasped,, realising that he had maybe developed a tiny crush on you

-On the opposite side of the room you could see the victory gleaming in Minho and Hyunjin’s eyes

-U see,,, they already knew Jisung had a crush on you and they were just trying to get him to realise it so they could see the two of you happy together bc,,,, boy did they know how much you liked him as well

-Out of all Jisung’s friends, you had grown the closest to Minho and it was to him that you had vented everything about Jisung to,,,, he was just trying to figure out a way to make you realise you had a crush on him too

-Luckily,,, Minho needn’t interfere at all bc after the movie had finished both you and Jisung had fallen asleep and the rest of the boys had left to two you asleep on your apartment floor

-You woke up the next day feeling incredibly warm and extremely uncomfortable

-You rolled over only to encounter an obstacle,,,, cracking an eye open it looked familiar and you realised that your hand was entangled with someone else’s and all of a sudden the images of last night came flooding back into your head

-You clinging onto Jisung, him rubbing soothing circles onto your hand, holding his hand,,,, and then falling asleep

-What you didn’t realise through all this was that Jisung too was waking up

-It wasn’t until you were observing Jisung’s face that you realised his eyes were in fact open and he was staring at you with a soft smile on his face

-Groaning, you reached for a pillow behind you and threw it at him

-Jisung’s laugh echoed loudly in your ears before he launched a pillow at you

-Well,,, it was just a full on pillow fight after that for a good ten minutes until you had all the pillows and Jisung pleaded mercy

-“Fine, I win and you get to make breakfast instead” you conceded, hugging one of the pillows and Jisung begrudgingly agreed, trudging to the kitchen

-10 minutes later, he served you a plate of toast with different toppings and you couldn’t help but laugh bc you forgot how incompetent Jisung was in the kitchen

-As the two of you ate the toast, your eyes kept drifting to Jisung

-His messy hair was almost comical but you found it endearing somehow, and his face was kind of puffy from just having woken up but there was something so intimate about the scene that you kind of wanted to take a photo of how domestic you felt

-As you finished your slice, you took a sip of water admiring Jisung’s features when all of a sudden he made his way over to you

-He leant in and kissed the corner of your lips, before pulling away and smiling at you

-“You had something there”

-Um Y/N.exe has stopped working

-You were literally dying right now,, like wtf

-Why was he being so smooth all of a sudden

-Your brain just went into overdrive and the only logical solution you could think of was pretty damn crazy

-Your head and heart were both in agreement at the solution

-So you just stand up to meet him and grab the collar of his t-shirt and planted a kiss right on his lips

-He was,,, shocked to say the least but goddamn relieved that you reciprocated his feelings

-The two of you pulled apart and sat in silence for a few minutes,,, no one daring to break the silence

-“Soooo,,,, you wanna go on a date?”

-“Sure, let me get dressed and let’s go”

-DATING JISUNG:

-So your relationship,, is definitely not unexpected and was met with great enthusiasm from the boys bc finally,, you had stopped pining

-We didn’t pine!!!

-Look,,, listening to both of you gushing about the other to me was SICKENING and can therefore be seen as pining good day to you

-You and Jisung was very high energy and mainly bc of Jisung bc he would not ! stop! Talking! 99% of the time and u were like,,, babe I love you but pls shut up

-And he would get all pouty which could only be solved if you kissed him

-One day Minho asked you how put up with Jisung being loud for so long and you were like,,, easy! There’s a trick, an off switch of sorts. Care to find out?

-Minho,,, was intrigued but also wary bc hello,,, this is Jisung we’re talking about

-You walked over to Jisung and tapped his shoulder whilst he was talking to Hyunjin about the killing streak he got on overwatch last night you just planted a kiss on his cheek and Jisung stopped talking and giggled shyly before kissing ur cheek back

-You sauntered back to Minho with a smug look on your face whilst Minho,,,, just had a very disgusted look on his face he knew he shouldn’t have trusted you to have a simple answer to his question

-One thing you didn’t know about Jisung was the fact he was part of 3RACHA

-Like you had heard of them,,, you just weren’t big on the campus social life tbh so most things like this kinda went straight past you

-You noticed, however, now you were dating Jisung was that twice a week would disappear for a few hours then occasionally on weekends he would go missing for the entire night

-Not that you were worried that he was doing anything bad bc you trusted Jisung wasn’t THAT stupid to get arrested or something (you hadn’t ruled it out entirely as this is Jisung we’re talking about, he would get arrested for disturbing the peace or something at 3am)

-You just wondered what Jisung was doing bc you were curious

-You waited a few weeks to see if he would tell you and when he hadn’t you just straight up asked him where he went

-He was a little startled, but rather than giving you an answer he just grabbed your hand and tugged you out of the door and towards campus

-“Jisung, babe, please tell me where we’re going” you panted as he weaved through the unfamiliar corridors of a building you had never been in before

-Without warning, he opened a door and pulled you into a,,,,

-Recording studio???

-“Babe,,, what is all this?”

-“I probably told you that I did lyrical composition alongside linguistics right??”

-“Briefly, you were pretty quiet about it to be honest”

-“Well, with Chan-hyung and Changbin-hyung, we uh, write songs and perform them sometimes”

-“Really?! That’s so cool”

-“You think so?” he asked you shyly, ruffling his hair nervously

-“HELL YEAH that’s amazing, could I maybe hear some of the stuff you’ve done?”

-Jisung smiled, slipping into a chair in front of the chair looking extremely professional and began clicking on stuff and bringing up a track

-He plugged in a pair of headphones and slipped them onto your ears, pressing play

-You heard his voice intertwine with the smooth melody and you were in awe at his sheer talent, like you were so shocked that your boyfriend could sing AND rap extremely well

-Jisung sat watching the expressions on your face as the song played, smiling as he saw the different emotions flash upon yourself

-When the song ended you flung yourself at him and began kissing him all over his face whilst he laughed at the sudden affection

-You leant in to kiss him deeply and he just leaned back in the chair pulling you closer to him

-The kiss probably would’ve got more intense if Chan and Changbin hadn’t walked in just in the moment and literally screamed at the fact their friends were tainting their recording studio (it wasn’t actually theirs but the music department graciously let them use it out of hours)

-You threw yourself off Jisung and were extremely red in the face, and Jisung had the audacity to grin at his hyungs

-Changbin just threw a pillow from one of the chairs at him, glaring at him as he took a seat in the other chair whilst Chan just glanced between the two of you

-“I’ll just get going” you said awkwardly, backing towards the door when Jisung shot up and pulled you from the door so he could walk you home

-I can’t believe I have to sit in this seat,,, it’s TAINTED changbin

-It’s your own fault

-???? How ????

-Idk,,, just your bad luck

-…….

-ANYWAY

-You and Jisung were an extremely clingy couple,,, like skinship central

-Jisung absolutely loved loved LOVED it when you would wrap him in a back hug bc it made him very happy and he just loved the feeling of your arms wrapped so securely around him and your hot breath tickling the back of his neck

-Seungmin had to have his law books confiscated whenever you hung out together bc he would just keep throwing them at Jisung whenever he would kiss you or show any affection

-SEUNGMIN IT’S JUST A KISS

-IT’S AFFECTION KEEP IT AWAY FROM ME

-Cue Jisung chasing after Seungmin to try and tackle him and plant a kiss on his cheek,,,, he succeeded but at what cost

-Seungmin nearly throttling him, that was the cost

-Despite the excessive skinship, you and Jisung wouldn’t change your relationship for the world

-You were just the loud, clingy couple that hyped each other up even in the most mundane thing

-Like,, you did a presentation for one of your classes and Jisung waited outside for your class to finish and when you left the class he threw confetti at you before screaming about how much his baby did him proud

-If this was literally any other couple the whole of campus would’ve been like wtf are they crazy but when they heard Jisung scream they were just like,,, ofc

-Hey Y/N u wanna go

-Yeah

-On a date with me./ OH YOU DO./ OHH

-YOU’RE SAYING THAT LIKE I FELL FOR A CUNNING PRANK WE’RE LITERALLY DATING YOU EGG

dating college jisung is just a big meme filled mess tbh

[perylinsus]

Rant

Rant Contents-

Perming hair

Dyeing hair

Cutting hair

Getting piercings

Body weight

Tattoos

CONTAINS ENOUGH HATE AND UN-NEEDED CRITICISM TO LAST MILLIONS OF LIFE TIMES.

Okay, so this rant is gonna be weird as fuck, since it's about my hair and some piercings, but listen as I start talking about my hair. It's weird. It's straight somedays, curly on others, wavy on the others, and a combination of all three, though most of the time it's straight. It's also very, very, very thick and oily. Now, being in the end of my 3rd quarter of 8th grade, I keep telling people at school that I plan on getting a perm over the summer, since everyone is counting the days till then. But when I say perm, I mean tight-curls perm. Not even curls, more along the lines of coils. But everytime. Every. Single. Time. I say anything about getting a perm to someone with wavy/curly hair, they complain about how hard it is and how it'll be so much harder for me since; I'm not used to curly hair, my hair is too thick and/or my hair is super oily. All I want to do is turn and just fucking snap.

The only fucking reason my hair is straight and oily is because of the lice treatments I had to go through. I had those assholes all up on my head for 5 years straight. When I was a kid, I had to straighten my fucking hair everyday just to get it to cooperate. When I was a kid, I was fucking mistaken for a different race. My hair has always been thick, it was always silky and soft and it was in tight ass curls up until I was 5 or 6. I've experienced curly hair my entire life cause my step sister adopted triplet girls with hair that was on the verge of being kinky, but was still considered curly. I do their hair every fucking morning to this damn day. I have since they were adopted at 3 years old and that was 8 years ago. I was in my first year of having lice (I took precautions to make sure they didn't get lice. Luckily, it worked cause they never did).

I wanna fucking snap when people say to not get my hair permed into tight curls cause I won't be able to take care of them. I take care of curly hair every damn morning, 4 AM sharp, listening to babies cry when I only get 2 hours of sleep cause of my damn homework. Everything's good. I cope now, I will always fucking cope.

Two more factors make the complaining worse. Before I perm my hair, I'm getting it colored. Again, more complaining. Things like, "You'll damage your hair!" Or "Why would you color your hair, it's already so pretty." I might be doing two different colors, they might be bright and because of that, I have to bleach and color my hair. Don't get pissed because I don't wanna have basic brunette bitch hair like you (that's aimed at one person, not all brunettes. I luh u). I want to die my hair because I can. I'll perm my hair afterwards because my cousin, aunt and grandma, certified hair dressers, told me it was okay. I'm tryna live my life so back the fuck up.

Next thing, I wanna cut it, too. Before getting a perm, but after coloring it, I'm gonna try and get an undercut. More. Fucking. Complaining. "Sweetie, if you wanna color and cut your hair, you can't perm it. It'll look weird. I've tried it." Bitch. Does it look like I care about what you tried. You're pale, skinny and you have some fake ass lookin blonde hair. I am, on the other fucking hand, a delicious hunk of chubby Mexican (I'm trying to love myself more. Don't judge me). Me and you, we're completely different. I have an ass, some tits and some fat around my waist. You look like a sheet of horny construction paper (that shit feels weird...idk what y'all feel like, I swear). People may retaliate with;

"I'm not saying you'll be ugly, I'm saying curly hair and undercuts don't go well together." What if my main goal is to look ugly? To put shame to my last name (that rhymed bruh). Idgaf what you think. I'm cutting my hair, I'm coloring my hair and I'm perming this shit. I fucking live for coloring my hair, I've done it for the entirety of my middle school life. I miss having an undercut. Living in Florida with some dark ass, thick hair is hard, so the less hair, the easier my life (less shampoo and conditioner too). And my curly hair. I want that shit back. I didn't hate it then, but I also didn't love it, but. I. Want. It. Back.

So, with my hair, back tf up. Now some piercings.

My uncle does piercings for people. Yeah, total fucking pothead, but he's chill and good at his 3 steady jobs. He said, once I get old enough, he'd give me good quality piercings. Because we moved away from him, down to Florida (that was 5 years ago btw. I had ear piercings then. I also temporarily moved up to Michigan for like half a year, when he promised me), he hasn't given me my piercings yet. Over a video call, since he's overseas helping a friend move into a new house, he asked me what piercings I wanted so when he got back (I'd be halfway through my first quarter of freshman year) he could give me my piercings.

As many as I want, for no price at all. He's self employed so it's no problem, however my face/head area is all he'll do. I'm okay with it bc that's all I want. I tell him, with my bff and her bf sitting next to me. Her bf has his friend with him so he can hear me too, obviously. I say both ears and lips, possibly nose. My uncle says ok. He asks me what kind I'm considering for my ears. I say; standard lobe, upper lobe, helix and industrial. That's another ok. Then for my lips. I say; angel bites, snake bites, spider bites or shark bites. Again. Another okay. Then he asks for my nose. I say septum or nostril but the nose piercings weren't definitive. Again. That's okay.

My mom knows about this and she's okay with it. I'm my own person and what I choose to do needs to be dealt with by me. I face my mistakes, or I suffer. I choose to take some pretty bad ending risks but I learned. That's always been my lesson and it won't change. Face the consequences. My bff asks if she could get the same deal as I did. He says no but that he could lower the price significantly. She says okay, definitely happy, and her bf asks the same, getting the same response as my bff (he's cool with piercings. He had some. He just wants more). Now, my bff's bf's friend starts criticizing us, specifically me. We hate eachother so it was expected.

But this asshole. THIS ASSHOLE. Had the audacity to insult me on my choice of piercings. He's anti everything. Anti gays, anti abortion (this one is agreeable), anti Muslim, he's HORRIBLE (his personality filters into this. Believe what you want but if your personality is too evident in your opinion, DO NOT TALK TO ME. Especially if you're stuck up). I'm learning makeup atm so he goes down that road and calls me an ugly whore who deserves to die on the streets. Nice. But...same thing with the hair. I WILL DO WHATEVER I FUCKING WANT TO. IDGAF ABOUT YOUR OPINION. Don't criticize me because I want to get tons of piercings. He went down the path of racism, too, and called me a typical Hispanic bitch. Rebellious and dumb. I have nothing to say to this other than get tf out of my house. I turn to my friends and tell them if they agree with him to leave with him. They're actual friends so they stayed but he had to find his way home in the pouring rain. Don't be an ass to innocent people cause Karma's a bitch.

Anyway, I was called a hippy, spic, typical druggie, shitty person and retard (this word isn't taken lightly in my family. Don't call people that shit).

You know what, let's rant some more.

I'm a chunky motherfucker. I way well over 100 lbs but I ain't too close to 200. I'm almost 14 and I'm kinda short. Still growing, but short.

I have lots of body fat. Obese, depends on your definition of it. Fat, yes, but I can still rock some tight clothes better than anyone else. I've embraced my body fat. Yes, I'm currently researching healthy, lemme repeat, healthy ways to get rid of it, but I've embraced it and I now tell myself I'm cute whether people like it or not. It's strange since I've never done it before but it helps with depression.

Anyway, I'm chubby but I'm working on it. I need to glow up to rock my bullies' motherfucking worlds. This dude, idek who he was, comes up, calls me fat and walks away. I turn around and yell fuck you or fuck off or some shit like that. I'm making my way to class and this other kid trips me. When I hit the ground, he screams earthquake and runs.

I get up and walk my way to class like a civil person. Eventually, my mom, who works at my school, has to take me to the hospital cause I couldn't get up and leave my class at the end of the day. Why, you may ask? Well, I had;

minor whiplash

a sprained wrist

Scrapes on my knee that were so bad, they'll probably scar

My day sucked before that so it only got worse. Besides that, the whiplash is gone, my sprained wrist is healing nicely and it's just my knees that are still fucked up.

All that trouble because some bastard wanted to fuck with me cause I'm chubby. Stop being dicks everyone, unless that's your nickname.

Finally, the last topic. Tattoos. My other uncle, the twin brother of my piercings uncle, is a tattoo artist. Game addict, too, but, like, srsly, unhealthily addicted.

Anyway, if I can't do college, I have a guaranteed spot as a tattoo designer in his parlor. I'm trying to plan for college so it might not happen but, you never know. Besides that, he gave me a deal. As many tattoos as I want, for no price. All because I'm his only blood niece.

I said hell fucking yeah (I got a shoe thrown at me for it). He said as long as I designed them, he'd give me them. Okay, not too bad since I'm a 14 year old with college level art. First, though, I had to tell him what type I wanted. I said I wanted tribal, illustrative and possibly neo traditional.

I have designs for my illustrative tattoos. One for each important person in my life. My older brother, my younger brother, my mom, my grandma, my bff and my 1st dog. I was gonna try and do one for my husband/wife when and if I get married but I was warned about tattooing names of people I'm not related to on my body. Again, I might still do it. Anyway, those are for my illustrative tattoos. Then, comes my tribal tattoos.

I plan on asking my bestfriend and my mom to choose from a set of Moon Glyphs, which symbols best represent me. Whichever common ones they choose, will be hidden in a tribal tattoo on my ribcage. I also want a tribal on the top of my forearm and a tribal band around my bicep. I may just get arrows on the inside of my other forearm.

Neo traditional will probably be a worn down banner with flowers that has a saying in it. In another language, most likely, but there'll be a saying.

Anyway, I told my uncles this and my tattoo artist uncle said he was perfectly okay with it. My mom was chill with it, too, so everything was good. Until my great grandmother got ahold of the information. So many vulgarities.

Anyway, don't be a shithead when it isn't necessary. Let people learn from their own mistakes when said mistakes are revocable.

Luv ya and thanks for reading.

[is6621]

Behind the Buzz: Women in Tech and Entrepreneurship by Hannah Fay

It’s hard to consume business (or even mainstream media) news in 2018 without coming across the same few tech buzzwords again and again...and again. We mentioned a few last class -- “AR,” “blockchain,” and “crypto” come to mind -- and the industry discusses them ad nauseum. But what about the tech industry buzzwords that are a little more uncomfortable to talk about? The ones that make headlines but not classroom discussions? What about wage gaps? Sexual harassment? #MeToo? As I prepared for a discussion group that I help lead for BC’s Women Innovators Network, I thought I might try to share what I’ve learned and what has surprised me with our #IS6621 crew.

By this point in your business school careers, you’re all likely well aware of the mythology of Silicon Valley, startups, VC, tech companies, and the like. You’re probably also well aware of its reputation of being an unwelcoming environment for women professionals. Just as a refresher, here are some (slightly jarring) statistics: women own merely 5% of startups, make up just 7% of partners at venture capital firms, have an industry quit rate over twice as high as men’s, and received $56.7 billion less than men in VC funding (you can find more similarly disturbing facts here).

GETTING THERE

Why are these numbers so dismal? Many suggest that it’s simply because not enough girls pursue degrees in tech or entrepreneurial fields, and that they simply aren’t careers that women are interested in or suited for. Similarly, the Arrington Theory states that women are simply more risk-averse than men, making them less likely to become entrepreneurs or seek venture capital funding, thus explaining those dramatic gaps. When those two ideas are combined, it results -- theoretically -- in a proportionally small pool of qualified hires for companies. The tech industry (especially startup companies) is seen as a young, progressive field, succumbing to none of the stereotypes ingrained in traditional Wall Street industries. Its perception is that of a meritocracy, where the best man -- or woman -- wins solely based on their talent and qualification, regardless of their background.

Is this all true? Not really.

While it is accurate that fewer women than men pursue tech degrees, this is not necessarily because an inherent lack of skill or preference. It is possible that the foundations for these disparities originate in childhood and are reinforced over the years as programs push boys and girls in different directions in everything from classes to try to games to play with.

But even if this isn’t the case, and the simple truth is that fewer women pursue these degrees, qualified women are still getting turned away from these types of careers before they even begin. Recruiting sessions often discourage women from applying through environments that alienate and intimidate. Similarly, research has found that women become risk-averse because of stereotypes in a sort of vicious cycle -- when stereotypes are ingrained in women’s minds, they are more likely to conform to them, regardless of individual characteristics.

This doesn’t fully explain, though, the gender disparity in investment funding. Women get asked different questions during funding rounds than men do, affecting their confidence, the types of answers they give and the amount of funding they get. Men get asked promotional questions focusing on the potential for growth and profit, while women get asked preventative questions that emphasize risk minimization and planning for potential losses -- unsurprisingly, people tend to respond with answers that reflect the type of questions they were asked. This means that women spend a disproportionate amount of time defending their ideas without getting the chance to pitch their potential for success.

And the mythology of meritocracy? Not entirely accurate. Even the tech world -- startups especially -- is subject to bias. Like hires like, and especially in companies without a formal HR department or hiring process, founders of companies tend to hire their friends (or people that remind them of their friends). Since most startups are founded by males, this means that far fewer females break into the field.

STAYING THERE

The battle isn’t over even once women make it into the industry. As mentioned before, the quit rate for women is twice that of men’s. Why is the rate so high? Many point anecdotally to differing priorities, an inability to take the pressure of a high-paced workplace, and again, to a simple lack of skill or talent. But research tells a different story -- one of subtle bias, differing standards, compensation issues, and sexual harassment.

It doesn’t immediately make sense that the archetypal tech workplace -- known for flexible work days and nontraditional office spaces -- would be one unwelcoming to women. One would expect, for example, that it would be ideal for mothers that need to attend to their children’s schedules. But in reality, startups are a place that inherent bias can lurk and thrive. Women are frequently judged on their appearance before their skills or achievements. They’re held to higher standards, even to the point of perfectionism. They’re frequently asked to contribute in a way that requires them to be representative of all women, not just themselves. And diversity training programs meant to address the problem can sometimes make things worse by putting forth the notion that such bias is normal and inadvertently confirming it as “OK.”

Besides culminating into a toxic environment, these factors have real, concrete consequences. One is the problem of the wage gap. Though legislation has been introduced to address this, it remains a prevalent problem: it is estimated that it will take 100-217 years to close the wage gap worldwide, and women still make only 82% of what their male counterparts earn. This is often attributed to the idea that women simply choose lower-paying careers or don’t negotiate enough for their salaries -- but this is not necessarily the case. A moving testimony I heard recently from a powerful woman at Google made clear that she had done everything correctly: negotiated her salary, performed highly at her job, spoken up, etc. Yet, ten years into her time at the company, she discovered that men that reported to her were making significantly more than she was. The issue was eventually resolved, but this is not the first (or only) time this type of situation has arisen.

Another real consequence is sexual harassment, as revealed over the past year as #MeToo has taken flight. Seventy-eight percent of women startup founders say they or someone they know has been sexually harassed. The degrees of severity are, of course, varied, from minor annoyances to major assaults. I won’t dwell on this at length, but if you’d like to read further on the topic, some powerful stories can be found here and here.

GOING FORWARD

So what should women and men do going forward to mitigate these problems? What has changed recently, and how far do we still have to go? For one thing, the awareness of the problem has increased dramatically. Since the dawn of #MeToo and other similar movements, people simply talk about the issue more. This has the potential to increase social standards and accountability levels across the board, but raises the issue of desensitization and alienation.

Legislative changes have also furthered the cause. Recent supreme court rulings have overturned precedents that left room for wage discrimination. Additionally, California -- the home of Silicon Valley and arguably the hub of the tech world -- is in the process of passing legislation that requires publicly traded companies with more than six board members to have at least one woman on their board.

But what about some more immediate fixes? I began to wonder if there were any ways groundbreaking technology had the potential to help women with any of the issues described above. Some of what I found had the opposite of the intended effect -- like this story about Amazon’s AI hiring tool that inadvertently discriminated against women. Most of what I found, though, was positive. It was also more low-tech than you might expect.

The most significant common factor in what I found was their role in closing the information gap -- though many of the systemic problems women face in these fields can only be truly resolved in the long term, what we can do in our own lives starts with what we know. For example, online salary tools like Glassdoor have the potential to help close the wage gap by allowing women to see what men in their field are making and negotiate accordingly. Sites like Muse allow women to research company culture and make decisions about the type of environment they want to work in without having to experience harassment first. Even our good old friend Twitter is making a difference by amplifying voices and holding people and companies accountable. Perhaps most significantly, research is showing more and more that  diverse teams simply perform better.

If companies want to stay ahead of the curve, especially in the fast-paced world of tech and entrepreneurship, they’re going to have to start listening to the buzz -- to the research, to the women, to the truth.

[wlwtsubomi]

do u have bnha ocs? 0:

YES I DO THANK YOU FOR ASKING

akfjafkahglad throwing them all under read more bc i have,,, A Lot(TM)

i actually have a fuckin uhhhhh nextgen au?? and thats where A Majority Of Them come from??????? and i love them all id die for them

ok so like

ok so two of my Main Ones are era and takuma!!!!!!!! ft. some changed designs bc im considering revamping laylaylb bc it Kinda Sucks. 

so era is the shark one!!!!! her quirk is minor shark and its a mutant quirk that gives her vague mutations from a whitetip reef shark!!! that includes (but is not limited to) double rows of teeth, gils, some fins, enhanced smell and like, you know that thing that sharks do where they can find things from like,, those feely things from their chins?? yeah era can do that. she also tends to be more wild at night?? but it can be passed off as loopiness. since shes from a nextgen au shes the adopted daughter of kiri and baku???? her full name is bakushima era and she is like,,, just Rowdy and Easily Excited.

takuma is a more obvious nextgen kid and hes a tododeku fankid?? THOUGH in the revamp im gonna make him a todoiideku fankid with siblings bc ive always had concept for siblings for him but i was a Coward and never went through with them. his quirk is temperature control and its an emitter quirk that, when he touches something, he can adjust the temperature of an object. whenever he raises the temperature in something, the temperature of his body lowers, and vise versa. that often leads him to being cold constantly and having to bundle up his body in like a thousand jackets. its Very Relatable to me tbh. anxiety is hereditary so hes very anxious and withdrawn. he tends to be very scatterbrained and more often then not he forgets words mid-sentence and needs eras help to remember them. that leads him to repeat things a lot and quit a lot of things midway because he cant describe them. thats Also Very Relatable. his full name is midoriya takuma although in the revamp, its most likely that his name will be changed to iida-midoriya takuma

another important character to the nextgen who isnt actually a nextgen kid is siryoku karashiro (despite me often using first names as a way to refer to characters, i called him by his family name (siryoku) so frequently in laylaylb that thats just how i refer to him at this point) and hes really fun to draw. so hes kinda hard to explain without giving a lot about his backstory and eventual character arc away?? but hes from a rich family of lawyers who all have quirks that allow them to intimidate people by meeting their eyes. however, due to a recessive quirk from his moms side, he ended up having an variant of the black hole quirk. unlike thirteen, who (presumably) can channel theirs through their fingers, his is through his eyes. without a lot of practice with his quirk, he cant really control it and it often ends up being an all or nothing sort of trump card. siryokus very socially awkward and often has a hard time keeping up with extroverted people like ame and era. he also tends to miss expressions and figures of speech. but other than that, hes very earnest and despite his fumbles, wants to help others

while takuma era and siryoku are the Main Trio, takuma and era are also in another trio alongside ame, full name uraraka ame. shes a tsuchako fankid who really likes wearing christmas sweaters in the middle of summer. a part of this generations “big 3″ ame is a third year and an intern under thirteen. her quirk is zero gravity, inherited directly from ochako. shes very caring, and the “big sister” of the group if you will. she tries to help people as much as she can, and is the role model of both era and takuma. she is very energetic though, but she misses a lot of social cues and can as such be seen as pushy or overbearing. 

while she hasnt appeared a lot yet in either my comics or in laylaylb, another character who will end up being important is kyousou hansha!!!! she will be (eventually) the vice president of their class and has been shown to be very driven, determined, and almost judgemental. she hasnt come with the intention of befriending people who dont come up to her standards, though what exactly those standards are is currently unknown. (i know it though) all thats currently known is that she often knows how to take charge of a situation with a very analytical point of view, and that perhaps thats what helped her land a recommended spot into ua. (who recommended her and what her quirk is hasnt been officially shown, though if you look through my blog, im p sure i mentioned it at one point)

this is a very bad drawing, because kazankawa (full name kazankawa atsui) is one of my favorite characters to draw (without coloring because her details is hard for me to color) and has one of my favorite character designs out of my bnha ocs. her quirk is volcano, and its a mutant quirk that almost makes herself like a living volcano. however, she cant ‘erupt’. her skin literally has cracks around where it folds the most, so think at the joints of her fingers and in her elbow. it also has cracks below her eyes. the cracks are filled with lava, though it is purely stationary. she gives off heat and can produce smoke from her mouth (though she doesnt know it yet). she is also able to throw up lava, but thats just kinda gross. she comes across as level-headed, chill, and sleepy almost all the time. however, once she gets riled up or in the battle field, she becomes more wild and reckless.

some other characters and wow isnt this a great drawing, is the houkai squad. i dont have an official name for their group, but they have a really fun dynamic to write. houkai genki (the middle one in the screenshot) is the one that this entire group revolves around, because they are the one who taigun and kuroiya are around for. they have an emitter quirk called emp, which is. an emp. yeah. its,, self explanatory. some people think theyre slick, but really, theyre kinda just really stupid and has no self restraint. 

taigun kisaki (the leftmost) is literally the groups voice of reason and impulse control. her quirk is literally the most terrifying quirk ive ever come up with and its an emitter quirk that lets her control the bees. fuck you vigilantes i made it up before i knew you made a character with a similar quirk. shes by all means an extrovert, but has very thin patience and is constantly done by the shenanigans of this god forsaken group.

kuroiya fumukoi was actually the third bnha oc i designed, and was originally supposed to be a very withdrawn softspoken character. but as i wrote laylaylb, she was changed to an enabler of houkais, with just vaguely more intelligence than houkai, but instead of doing things out of sheer stupidity, more out of just ballsy-ness. her quirk is called shadow step and allows her to travel through shadows. it often leaves her hungry, so a lot of times she can be caught munching on something.

some other characters are the rest of the big 3!!! i love them a lot. like,, listen i would die for them. besides ame, theres suiro takara, the one on the right, and her quirk is crystal channel?? shes an intern under aoyama and can channel her own energy into crystals on her body (which is why she wears so many necklaces) in the form of lasers. shes constantly tired and stressed and honestly really offput by ame. ames excited and loud personality is a bit too much for her, so she tends to lash out or act cold. then theres yasuyou natsuki, the middle, whos quirk is flame body. her bodys literally a fire. as a result, all of the the third years had to be made extra fire durable outfits and gym uniforms to withstand being worn or coming into contact with her. ame has a crush on her, though yasuyou isnt aware of it. yasuyou is dense but upbeat, not interacting with ame a lot because theyre in different classes. (ame is in 3-a while yasuyou is in 3-b). also, ame, idk about u, but idk how ur gonna smooch fire.

of course there is A Lot of other characters from laylaylb that i wont write bc i dont have the screenshots or drawings on hand or bc they havent been revealed or i dont have the energy to explain all about the background characters

BUT

i DO have a non-laylaylb bnha oc and i dont have a name or set design for her yet but ive been stewing over the idea of her quirk for the LONGEST time

so basically shes a support student whos quirk is balance. its an emitter/mutant kinda quirk that gives her impeccable balance and things that she touches the same balance as well. it comes in handy when walking/maneuvering with things in her hands, and allows her to stack things without the fear of them fall over. think about that one sasuke figurine that could balance anything on its head and think ‘what if that was a quirk’

she isnt keen on sharing her ideas with others, though when she does, its often for critique. she has an odd sense for knowing when people lie to her about their opinions, and prefers brutal truth. perhaps its because thats how she is-- overly blunt and bad at determining which things are and arent right to tell to someones face. 

i could see her getting along with hatsume

[daisy71109]

Mandatory Minimums

This was a paper I wrote about mandatory minimum sentencing laws in the United States and the impact they have had for a class final. It is written in APA format, which is why there are parentheses with sources at the end of some sentences. there is also a list of resources that I used at the bottom. Yes, it is long, it was ~6.5 pages long w/ a double-spaced 12 pt. Times New Roman font.

Laws exist to keep people from doing whatever they wish to keep everyone living in society safe and happy, and people have been arrested for breaking those laws since they were created around the 22nd century BC. Although the nature of some of those laws has changed, many of them still stay the same–don’t murder, don’t assault people, don’t steal, just to name a few. However, the punishments for such crimes look much different from what we see today. While some places here in the United States still have the death penalty, many states have abolished it–largely because many see it to be a cruel and unusual punishment, something prohibited by the Eighth Amendment to the United States Constitution–and mostly it is only carried out if the person has committed murder or treason, or something of a nature similar to those, which differs greatly from long ago (aclu.org). In many ancient cultures, people who committed theft and were caught could face a public beating, or even death, while today they would be sentenced to time in jail or prison. 

Jails and prisons are a way to keep criminals who have been convicted of a crime off the streets. It houses every type of criminal, some violent–like people who have committed murder, assault, or rape–and some not so violent–people who have committed theft or are found to be in possession of drugs. However, the United States has a problem. The United States holds about 4.2% of the world’s population, but it also holds at least 20% of the world’s prisoners. There are around 2.3 million inmates being housed in around 7,147 state and federal prisons, jails, correctional facilities, detention facilities, and many other facilities like those across the United States and its territories (Sawyer and Wagner, 2020). According to the U.S. Department of Justice Bureau of Justice Statistics, in 1979, there were 313,731 inmates across state and federal prisons in the United States, a number that increased by over 15,000 by 1980, following an upward trend in the number of inmates across the country (Kalish, 1981). By 1985, the number of sentenced prisoners was 481,616 (Minor-Harper, 1986), and by 1996, that number had skyrocketed to over 1.1 million–1,138,984 to be exact, according to Alfred Blumstein and Allen J. Beck’s Population Growth in U.S. Prisons, 1980-1996 (Blumstein and Beck, 1999). That number continued to increase, reaching around 2.3 million in 2020. The large increase in inmates was caused by a few policies implemented during the mid-to-late twentieth century–specifically around the 1970s and 1980s–that have continued to this day. Throughout the latter decades of the twentieth century, the United States heavily focused on the war on drugs, which eventually leads President Reagan to sign the Anti-Drug Abuse Act of 1986, which appropriated $1.7 billion to fight the drug war (NPR, 2007). However, that was not the only thing that the bill did. It also implemented mandatory minimums for drug-related offenses.

The Criminal Justice Policy Foundation states that “Mandatory minimum sentencing laws force a judge to hand down a minimum prison sentence based on the charges a prosecutor brings against a defendant which result in a conviction -- usually a guilty plea” (CJPF.org, paragraph 1). There are mandatory minimum sentences for a variety of different crimes–sex offenses, identity theft, illegal ownership or use of a firearm, and drug trafficking or possession. The minimum sentence given to someone found guilty for drug trafficking depends on what type of drug they had, how much of it they had, and whether they had been convicted of any prior drug felonies. In theory, giving different punishments for different situations makes sense, but in reality, the mandatory minimum policy in place has created a system that has allowed for thousands of people, especially people of color, to be locked away in prisons for years, and in some cases, for life.

Of the 2.3 million people currently incarcerated in the United States, around 450,000 of them are there because of drug-related charges (prisonpolicy.org). About 19.5% of people incarcerated in the United States are there because of drug-related charges, and that number will not be going down anytime soon unless something is done about it. Police across the United States make over 1 million drug possession arrests a year, many of which lead to prison sentences. And of course, because of the mandatory minimums, people of color, who disproportionately tend to be in the lower social classes, are largely the group who ends up going to prison for these drug-related crimes. Crack-cocaine and powder-cocaine are relatively similar, but with a few key differences. Powder cocaine was seen as a status symbol in the 1980s–it was seen as the fancy drug, the drug that rich people used–but crack cocaine was seen much differently–it was, and still is cheaper, and as a result, was used more by the lower classes. Because of this differing view, the mandatory minimum sentences differ, disproportionately affecting lower-income people.

For powder cocaine, you need 500 grams in order to get the mandatory minimum sentence of five years–unless you have previously been convicted of a drug felony, in which case the minimum is ten years. However, for crack cocaine, only 28 grams is needed for a person to get the mandatory minimum. And those are only the minimum sentences. People with no prior drug felonies who have the five-year minimum sentence also have a maximum sentence of 40 years, a number that increases to life imprisonment if someone has been convicted of a prior drug felony (United States Sentencing Commission, 2017). And as was mentioned previously, crack tends to be used by people of lower socioeconomic status–who are disproportionately people of color–because it’s cheaper, which leads to more and more people of color ending up in prisons with sentences of at least five-to-ten years. And while the mandatory minimum sentencing laws being discussed here are federal, states weren’t far behind in adopting their own versions. Mandatory minimum sentences, along with countless other policies and biases across the country, perpetuate a cycle of racist ideology that has lasted for hundreds of years. 

Another major issue with these mandatory minimum sentencing laws is that they took the sentencing power away from the judges–who are arguably the most neutral party in the courtroom–and given it to prosecutors. The Criminal Justice Policy Foundation states:

“The justice system has been distorted by removing from judges the power to decide the proper sentence in their cases. The sentencing process now involves the rote consideration of a matrix of impersonal data dominated by often irrelevant drug quantities and other circumstances that can be shaped by the prosecutor's charging choices. The elimination of judicial discretion in sentencing has allowed prosecutors to acquire excessive power to impose sentences.”

The problem is, overwhelmingly, most of the elected prosecutors in the United States are white and male (Reflective Democracy Campaign, 2015 & 2019). And most isn’t just a slight majority here–as of 2019, 95% of elected prosecutors are white and 73% are male. And because the United States has a tendency to be racist–shown by these mandatory minimums, no matter how much people like to deny that they are racist–these prosecutors are going to be more likely to ask for harsher sentences, are going to attempt to place more charges onto the defendant, and get them sent to prison for longer. With these mandatory minimums, we focused more on sending people to prison, especially people of color, instead of rehabilitation–getting people who are addicted to these drugs off of them so they can hopefully go on and have a more successful life. 

When mandatory minimums were first implemented, the United States was amid the war on drugs and was in an era where the stance of being tough on crime was normal. However, as previously mentioned, this war on drugs had heavy racist undertones, something confirmed in 1994 by former President Nixon’s counsel and assistant to the President for Domestic Affairs John Ehrlichman when he said:

“The Nixon campaign in 1968, and the Nixon White House after that, had two enemies: the antiwar left and Black people. You understand what I’m saying? We knew we couldn’t make it illegal to be either against the war or Black, but by getting the public to associate the hippies with marijuana and Blacks with heroin, and then criminalizing both heavily, we could disrupt those communities. We could arrest their leaders, raid their homes, break up their meetings, and vilify them night after night on the evening news. Did we know we were lying about the drugs? Of course we did.” (eji.org, 2016)

However, just because something is broken, and has been broken for a long time, doesn’t mean that it cannot be fixed.

For starters, there is H. R.7194, also known as the Mandatory Minimum Reform Act of 2020, which was introduced to the House of Representatives by Representative Maxine Waters of California's 43rd congressional district on June 11, 2020 (congress.gov). In the bill's text, there is a sentence reading, “To eliminate mandatory minimum sentences for all drug offenses,” and also included is a list of amendments to a variety of sections of the Controlled Substances Act. Representative Waters isn’t the only one calling for the reform, or outright elimination of mandatory minimums. The American Civil Liberties Union, the Criminal Justice Policy Foundation, among many other groups are all in favor of reforming or eliminating mandatory minimum sentences. Alongside that, there have been some calls to release the people who were convicted of nonviolent drug offenses back into society, due to people knowing the reason behind the existence of the mandatory minimum, the fact that some drugs–marijuana in particular–are no longer being villainized like they used to, and that more people are understanding addiction and realize that sending people to prison doesn’t have the effect of stopping drug use people thought it did. 

However, just doing one, and not the other fails to completely solve the problem. If you release non-violent drug offenders but keep the mandatory minimums, the cycle is just going to continue, and hundreds of thousands of people, especially people of color, are going to be put back into prisons due to low-level drug offenses. If you get rid of the mandatory minimums but don’t release non-violent drug offenders, you still have hundreds of thousands of people who are serving potentially life sentences for just possessing drugs. Focusing on rehabilitation instead of sending people to prison would help to combat the system that has been in place for decades–a system that criminalizes people for needing help but not being able to get it. Not only would this help to reverse some of the damage done by racist policies that were put in place under the guise of being tough on crime, and it would also alleviate some of the tax burden on Americans or would allow for more money to be spent on social programs like drug rehabilitation programs. As of 2017, the United States allocated over $7 billion dollars to the federal prison budget, which exceeds the $5.5 billion allocated to care for all the homeless people in the United States (cjpf.org).

Another option–although it has a much lesser impact–is just to reform the mandatory minimum laws and not release anyone who has been previously convicted of a non-violent drug crime. Reforming the mandatory minimum laws would look more like changing the amount of a drug that is required to reach the mandatory minimum threshold or reducing the minimum sentence instead of just completely getting rid of them. The problem is, you would still have hundreds of thousands of people in prison for nonviolent drug offenses, and you would still allow a system to exist that disproportionately negatively affects people of color.

Overall, mandatory minimum sentencing laws negatively impact poorer people and people of color the most, causing hundreds of thousands of them to be sent to prison for years for what is, for many, just a nonviolent drug offense. People are being separated from their families and sent to prison, some for life, over policies that were created under the guise of being tough on crime, but were in actuality just inherently racist and playing off of the fears of white Americans, something that has been admitted by several people who worked in various presidential administrations or campaigns over the years. These laws need to be repealed, and the people who were convicted of nonviolent drug offenses need to be released in order for the United States to move forward and atone for its racist past. Without repealing the laws and releasing those people, we are allowing for a racist system that has profited off of people of color to stand and continue.

References

Blumstein, A., & Beck, A. J. (1999). Population Growth in U. S. Prisons, 1980-1996. Crime and Justice, 26, 17–61. https://doi.org/10.1086/449294

Bureau of Justice Statistics , & Kalish, C. B., Prisoners in 1980 (1981). Washington, D.C.; U.S. Dept. of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics.

Bureau of Justice Statistics, & Minor-Harper, S., State and Federal prisoners, 1925-85 (1986). Washington D.C.; U.S. Department of Justice Bureau of Justice Statistics .

The Case Against the Death Penalty. American Civil Liberties Union. (n.d.). https://www.aclu.org/other/case-against-death-penalty.

Covington, J. (1997). The Social Construction Of the Minority Drug Problem. Social Justice, 24(4 (70)), 117-147. Retrieved April 26, 2021, from http://www.jstor.org/stable/29767045

House Judiciary and House Energy and Commerce, & Waters, M. [Bill], Mandatory Minimum Reform Act of 2020 (2020). Washington D.C.

Justice For All: Who Prosecutes in America? Reflective Democracy Campaign. (2015, July). https://wholeads.us/research/justice-for-all-report-elected-prosecutors/.

Legal Information Institute. (n.d.). Eighth Amendment. Legal Information Institute. https://www.law.cornell.edu/constitution/eighth_amendment.

Mandatory Minimums and Sentencing Reform. CJPF.ORG. (n.d.). https://www.cjpf.org/mandatory-minimums.

Netflix. (2016). 13Th. https://www.netflix.com/watch/80091741?tctx=0%2C1%2C%2C%2C%2C. (I highly recommend watching this on Netflix, it is very good)

Nixon Adviser Admits War on Drugs Was Designed to Criminalize Black People. Equal Justice Initiative. (2021, March 19). https://eji.org/news/nixon-war-on-drugs-designed-to-criminalize-black-people/.

NPR. (2007, April 2). Timeline: America's War on Drugs. NPR. https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=9252490.

Sawyer, W., & Wagner, P. (2020, March 24). Mass Incarceration: The Whole Pie 2020. Mass Incarceration: The Whole Pie 2020 | Prison Policy Initiative. https://www.prisonpolicy.org/reports/pie2020.html.

Tipping the Scales: Challengers Take on the Old Boys Club of Elected Prosecutors. Reflective Democracy Campaign. (2019, October). https://wholeads.us/research/tipping-the-scales-elected-prosecutors/.

United States Sentencing Commission, Mandatory minimum penalties for drug offenses in the federal criminal justice system9–64 (2017). Washington D.C.

Wagner, P., & Bertram, W. (2020, January 16). "What percent of the U.S. is incarcerated?" (And other ways to measure mass incarceration). Prison Policy Initiative. https://www.prisonpolicy.org/blog/2020/01/16/percent-incarcerated/. 

[moonbittern]

im exhausted and have been dealing with sensory overload all day so it seems like a great time to make an unnecessarily long-winded post about gallifreyans + language

(before we start i want to clarify that i largely operate on my own sense of canon so this is going to be part actual canon, part ignoring canon, and part making shit up) (but largely the latter)

doctor who likes to do the “one language per species/planet” thing, which is a very common scifi pitfall but it’s wrong and im against it. if you’re going to pull out any sort of “one culture/language/etc per species/planet” thing and there’s more than 10 people in your species/on your planet - well, first of all, you’re wrong, but second of all there is going to be a story behind why things are so lacking in diversity, and it’s not going to be a good one.

now, honestly, gallifrey is a better fit for the above than most scifi planets, if only because rassilon is The Worst and gallifreyan society is pretty strictly controlled. it’s easy to imagine that there is, at the very least, one Proper Gallifreyan Language with some other Less Acceptable Gallifreyan Languages that the prescriptivists all turn their noses up at, and that the end result is very little in the way of linguistic diversity.

HOWEVER.

i would like to suggest the exact opposite - that gallifrey is extremely linguistically diverse. like, ridiculously. like, how in the world can you even sustain that language:people ratio.

(honestly, i only really thought of this bc it gives me the opportunity to come up with a lot of fun language headcanons and to make a lot of conlangs, but i think my explanation makes sense, and everything’s more enjoyable for me this way and do i need an excuse?)

i’ve seen people interpret the 1-2 comments the doctor makes about language as them not being fluent in very many and largely relying on the tardis translation circuits to get around, but given that we’ve heard them speaking languages that are just as alien to them as they are to us, i prefer to think that the doctor is legitimately fluent in a ton of languages and that they have some amount of control over what languages onlookers hear them speak via the translation circuits. nine made a comment about knowing billions of languages, which is almost certainly an exaggeration but still evens out to “a fuckton”, and im willing to take them at their word.

my point being is that even if you gave a human being centuries with which to do nothing but study languages, they wouldn’t be able to achieve fluency in that many (even if we’re assuming said human being was cognitively wired in a way that was compatible with those languages, which isn’t a guarantee but, you know, scifi) and obviously the doctor does a lot more with their time than learn languages. i tend to think the doctor is naturally good at languages, but being good with languages doesn’t bridge that sort of gap, and imo the logical conclusion is that gallifreyans are extremely quick to take up new languages and on top of that likely never lose their language-learning sweet spot (humans lose this...well, it’s complicated, but it’s around the age of 7, which is why it can be so hard to learn new languages as an adult).

so, then, how might that affect linguistic diversity? imo it’s likely to sort of trickle down into rapid linguistic evolution (well, maybe just relatively rapid, but still), and while there are theoretically ways they could force standardization, i ask: would they want to?

the destruction of minority/marginalized languages - intentionally or otherwise - is a distressingly common occurrence here on earth. but we’re a species that loses its ability to acquire native fluency in new languages after our first decade of being alive and struggle to acquire any sort of fluency in the less than a century we have to live after that. if we take everything i’ve said until now to be true, gallifreyans - with an average lifespan up to at least several centuries if not several thousands of years, depending on your feelings about who can regenerate etc - can easily acquire fluency (possibly even native fluency, if their brains don’t distinguish between the first language they learn and the ones that follow) throughout their entire lifespan. which, again, may make their languages evolve and differentiate quickly, as presumably it makes basic things like picking up new words and phrases easier as well. it also means that high linguistic diversity doesn’t create many communication barriers, bc you probably speak every language you need anyway, no matter how many that is.

(not as many as the doctor, bc the doctor’s a deviant who willingly associates with aliens; but still)

so we’ve got a situation where the chapters are almost certainly divided by language. socioeconomic classes are likely divided by language, at least to a point. individual houses may cluster into language groups, and likely have their own dialects. you probably have a distinct idiolect that you only use around close friends/housemates/family - bc said idiolect would have developed around them, so they’ve had the chance to learn it. there’s a lingua franca (or two, or three, or ten) used for inter-chapter and inter-class (and possibly inter-house) communication. you speak A Lot of languages and all of them are gallifreyan and they exert a lot of influence on each other, but you’re also very aware of what languages are appropriate to use with what people.

which brings me to my next point: gallifrey is kind of awful and very much a dystopia, and not trying to actively stamp out certain languages doesn’t mean certain languages aren’t looked down upon or that language isn’t used as a tool of oppression.

the first point is familiar to us and probably speaks for itself. aristocratic prydonians probably think the languages that are associated with cerulean shobogans are awful and ugly and inferior, and so on.

the second point i think deserves a bit more discussion. gallifreyans are big on education, but there are limits to who gets what sort of education, and even if you acquire languages easily, you can still be denied access to learning those languages.

i imagine the higher up you are on the socioeconomic ladder, the more languages you have the opportunity to learn. depending on who you are and what sort of job you’re planning on getting there may be some languages lower down on the ladder that you need to learn, but honestly a lot of people probably don’t bother; classism runs deep, and you always have the cross-class lingua francas. you do probably learn languages at your level that are spoken in other chapters, just in case, but obviously your chapter’s languages are the best (plus those handy lingua francas!) so again, why bother speaking the others much?

what you are not allowed to do is learn languages that fall above you on the social ladder. im sure some people get past that restriction, but for the most part it doesn’t happen, and there is oh so much that can be done with that. people can have snide conversations in your presence that you can’t prove have anything to do with you; certain educational materials/scientific journals/etc are written in languages you’re unfamiliar with, therefore effectively blocking you from learning about subjects considered above your station; you may not be able to read signage in certain areas; the possibilities are endless and if you’re thinking that any of that sounds suspiciously similar to real-life things that happen on earth, well, you’re not wrong.

(a lot of the above probably also applies to writing systems and there’s also probably unique things to say about that but honestly im not super knowledgeable about scripts and im tired so i will leave it at that)

(could also probably make a whole ‘nother post about how gallifreyan society handles aphasia (i.e. not well) but again, tired and not my area of expertise)

language, guys. language.

[musingsofamurderess]

I'm not a Democrat, the bipartisan system is a sham. I have been homeless and worked a minimum wage job because I decided to go into recovery for my addiction problem (I've been clean and sober 8 years). I chose to leave my old life and start a new one for myself, one that I built from the ground up, and I have everything that I need. I didn't have any other choice but to start over because of how miserable my addiction made me and everyone around me, if I wanted to continue living and not take my own life, anyway.

My parents are both white and my dad is pretty well off, his thoughts are partly in line with what certain people keep saying when it comes to privilege. I keep hearing white people talking about how they don't understand why black people are so angry. Many honestly believe that, no matter what, if you work hard and do good, you will be rewarded, but amongst black communities in America, this couldn"t be farther from reality.

If you can't see your privilege, I can't blame you for that, but I can share my experience on how I see it. I can ask you to open your mind for a moment and just imagine what it might be like to walk in someone else's shoes. How would your life be different had you been born black?

When I worked minimum wage deli jobs at several different stores, 9/10 of the people who had been working in the lowest level positions with me were POCs. And those who had been there over 2 years and were STILL in the lowest positions were even more likely to be POCs, in fact, I only met one white person who had been there longer than that and was still at minimum wage and she was disabled and could only work limited hours. And I struggled to keep up with most of those POCs work ethic bc before that, I had been used to getting paid more to do less. I pulled my back out and lost use of my left leg for over a week trying to keep up with the speed, volume, and variety of tasks these people made look almost easy.

The people I worked with were ALL hardworking adults, many of them middle aged, some just mid 20s. Many of them had prior drug or other minor charges from when they were younger, much like how rich white kids get DUIs in college....kids are young and reckless, there's no way to prevent that altogether. But the difference here is that employers that offer 401ks, pension and retirement plans, adequate life and health benefits will hire you if you have a DUI, but not if you have a felony, and sometimes not even if you have a misdemeanor. I'll talk more about that disparity shortly, but that's why many POCs are stuck in low paying jobs. There would occasionally be a "token" POC in management, but all other managers were white, and they usually hadn't worked as long as POCs in the department they oversaw.

I read heavy undertones in anti-BLM posts suggesting black people are somehow inherently more lazy, disruptive, or violent than other races, but I don't see where anyone buying that stereotype has ever lived with, loved, or actually spent a decent amount time working alongside a typical minimum wage/dead end job with POCs and actually getting to know them as people? Do people perpetuating these stereotypes even know what they're talking about? I'm willing to bet they don't because they don't have any real experience living with and around people of different races and cultures.

So, what on EARTH gives anyone the right to disparage entire races of people by labeling them as lazy, disruptive, or violent? If you're basing your evidence toward that effect on the actions of a few radical protesters, or the few rowdy young bucks you've come across, you're probably taking their actions out of context. Many young people of all races exhibit those behaviors just because they're young and reckless.

That is to say, there are many reasons to consider about why people could act the way they do, before we even start to think about how POCs might actually have some pretty good reasons on top of just being young to "act out". Many of them very well may be facing a future that's been significantly limited financially, professionally and personally, by the systemic racism in the flawed system you're trying to defend. I think that's a pretty good reason to be angry. No government is perfect. Period. But if we can't look at the way we treat our friends and neighbors and try to fix things when they aren't right, what are we doing? Defending antiquated systems that just aren't right for us as a society anymore is wrong. So many people in this country are suffering; so many feel trapped and doomed to a life of poverty.

Many POCs don't have college degrees to fall back on, and they didn't even fuck up their college like I did because of my alcoholism and addiction, they just never got a chance to go because culturally, it's gotten so bad that many POCs can't even push to expect their children to get into college because there's no way they could pay without a scholarship or financial aid that could indebt them for 10 or 20 more years down the line.

SO PLEASE tell me how alcohol, a traditionally white culturally normalized relaxation commodity, is legal despite the insanely high rate of alcohol related deaths that occur in this country, when weed, a traditionally POC culturally normalized relaxation commodity, is STILL NOT LEGAL when the number of deaths caused by or related to its use each year is so much lower (some gang deaths if you want to include those, and presumably those would be less if it were legal).

Oh yeah, could it be that we as a society just like to arrest and incarcerate POCs for minor and major drug charges so they can get felonies and white people can find excuses not to pay them more, promote them, or hire them into higher level positions, to prevent them from pursuing higher education....cause drug charges from marijuana use/posession/distribution do ALL of those things while drunk driving white alcoholic buisness leaders abuse and endanger their families and businesses with just a slap on the wrist for drunk driving that could potentially kill other people.

Please explain to me how addictive substance legislation is "fair" to cultural norms for POCs. How a rich white kid's DUI gets expunged if he agrees to do some classes and community service, but a POC found driving while smoking a joint, in possession of a week's worth of weed gets a felony that prevents him from job and education opportunities for the rest of his life. They're both kids, but one kid gets his chances at financial success in life effectively extinguished and the other gets away with it with no lasting repercussions.

Privledged people (we're seeing a lot of white people like this) just want to protect and preserve the system the way it is because it benefits you. Your life isn't limited by social and cultural injustices so there "must not be a problem at all." You can't step outside your own shoes for one second and see that maybe not everyone else has the same experiences as you. Maybe not everyone is treated equally.

This is just one example of systemic injustice, for more, listen. Step back from what people are telling you to think for a moment and just consider what's being asked. Most BLM supporters are not asking for anything crazy. They just want fair and equal justice for all, no matter what that takes. Apparently asking for it isn't enough, or we wouldn't be at this point. We need to talk to each other. To find some sort of compromise that ensures TRUE EQUALITY for all races by the Department of Justice and other governmental departments engaging in systemic racism by choice or without even having noticed what they were doing.

ALL RACIST PEOPLE AND POLICIES should be unwelcome in government, but that's a story for another rant.

If you take nothing else from reading this, please LISTEN to what real black people think and want to happen, not just radicalists. All we need to do is start listening, caring, and acting to make things better for everyone by ensuring that EVERYONE has equal rights and is treated fairly, regardless of how much money, power, influence, assets, or any other possession or opportunity they have that could be leveraged to tilt legal justice in their favor. A whole group of people are crying out, screaming, and straight up losing their shit, and unfortunately rhere are a few extremists doing dumb destructive and hateful shit, all because apparently freedom isn't as free for some as it is for others. Don't we owe it to ourselves as a society at least to listen?

[wildgrave]

a long ass post in which i discuss my v interesting day (including discussion on the racial inequality in the justice system & how we can stop conservatives from yelling about how undocumented immigrants are “taking our jobs”).

in race & ethnicity, we’re on our crime & punishment unit, and today one of my classmates spoke to our class about his experience with incarceration. 

essentially, he and a friend stole $57. he was a minor, and got 20 years. his friend was an adult, and got 18 months. all the other variables were the same -- same record, same judge, same public defendant -- except for race. the guy in my class is black, and his friend is white.

he talked a lot about his experience in prison and how fucked it is. how they do nothing to help or change or educate you, and how everything he learned while in prison was from his fellow inmates or from his own self-reflection (he spent a year in solitary confinement). he got out after 6 years after appealing his case with money he didn’t have (he was being paid 50 odd cents an hour) and is now on parole until 2037. and, of course, besides being given no help with rehabilitation, he’s also marked a felon for life, meaning that he can’t vote and it’s almost impossible to get a job (and part of his parole is that he must have a job).

he talked for about an hour, and everything he said was moving in one way or another. but the most moving thing by far was at the end, when a girl asked whether or not he regretted stealing the money. he said he didn’t, because otherwise he would have never known how fucked the system was, and wouldn’t now be able to advocate for change.

after class, i thanked him, and told him that he moved me. what i didn’t say was that he had literally changed my entire perspective. of course, i knew about racial inequality in the criminal justice system. 1 in 3 black men will be incarcerated. 1 in 6 latino men. 1 in 17 white men. i knew the numbers, but there’s a difference between reading a textbook and listening to someone who has been through it all speak to your face.

but it made me reconsider my entire career objective. i know i want to do something that helps people, and that i’m altruistic and want to make change -- why not this specific area?

but i had to go to my next class, which ended up being equally as interesting, but for completely different reasons.

we started off with a group presentation which is supposed to take 10 minutes. it took 45 minutes, because it sparked a debate. “debate” is putting it nicely. crudely put, we tore em a new one.

the presentation was about immigration from central and south america to the united states. the first two guys in the group both seemed liberal, but when the third guy started talking, it was clear where he stood, because the other two literally looked miserable as he rambled on and on about how dangerous undocumented immigrants are and how most of them bring drugs and how a wall is a good solution.

at the end, he asked for questions, which is where it all started.

first, i asked why he kept saying “they’re taking our jobs”. why does he feel that it’s his job to begin with? why does he feel a sense of entitlement for a job he doesn’t even want.

then, another guy, who it has been revealed to me has done extensive work to help undocumented immigrants (among other things), started SPITTING STATISTICS. this guy was literal fire. first he backed up my idea about american citizens not even wanting the jobs undocumented immigrants take -- 5% of american citizens are unemployed. out of that, 85% do not even look at jobs taken by undocumented immigrants. that means that less than one percent of americans are actually in competition for jobs with undocumented immigrants. 

seriously, this guy was amazing. he knew facts on top of facts off the top of his head, and he came for these guys. he questioned their sources and countered their claims.

after 45 minutes into class, my professor cut him off because we needed to actually do our lesson. i have no idea what it was, by the way, because i proceeded to start tweeting about unionization and undocumented immigrants -- you know, your classic liberal staples.

at the end of class, i approached the guy who had DESTROYED the presenter and told him how much i liked what he had to say. we ended up going to the cafeteria and talking for nearly two hours about various political things. he was really, really well read and interesting. he worked for a lot of things i like, like bernie’s campaign & black lives matter & this program to help relieve marginalized and migrant women of the poverty cycle. overall, v cool dude.

it wasnt until around 5pm that i remembered i had a project due at midnight. so i said goodbye and went home and FOUND OUT I CAN PUT MY BANGS INTO SPACE BUNS, TAKE THAT LONG HAIR, and just finished my project!

the assignment was to write a memo to a politician addressing an issue and providing a solution. i had no idea what to write about, so being under a time crunch, naturally i checked twitter. and i saw what i had been tweeting during class. and i thought, why not?

so i wrote my memo to senator tim kaine with an idea. and, keep in mind, i have no idea if this is actually plausible, but it theoretically makes sense, and i have some historical context so that its logical. 

essentially, my idea was on how to combat the issues that conservatives claim undocumented immigrants have on the economy/job market. the two main problems i was combating were 1) american citizens jobs being taken, and 2) benefiting from public goods without contributing thru taxes. i personally know that neither of these things are really an issue, but i was trying to find a solution to get republicans to shut up.

the solution i made up? repeal right-to-work in virginia & allow undocumented immigrants to unionize (which, coincidentally, is THE most left-wing sentence i have ever spoken).

i started off by explaining how right to work is NOT in the state constitution (we voted against adding it on election day) and therefore it is able to be repealed. then i made the historical comparisons between how we talked about black ppl post-civil war and how we talk about undocumented immigrants now. that is to say, white ppl have been using the same “they’re taking my job!” rhetoric for a long ass time.

my main comparison was during industrialization, when rly the only jobs black people could get were factory jobs or manual labor. since there werent many employment opportunities, they were willing to get less $$$. aside from replacing white workers with black workers aka cheaper labor, corporations also called in black ppl when white ppl went on strike. this created somewhat of a race war in the factory industry, which benefited neither race, but DID benefit the corp. a helluva whole lot, bc now they had workers COMPETING, and they could lower wages even more.

what solved this, you ask???? ALLOWING BLACK PPL INTO UNIONS. that way, they too could get fair pay, and since everyone was being paid the same, stopped racial competition in factories (for the most part; im generalizing a lot tho). 

so why not do the same thing now?? get rid of right to work in VA, and allow undocumented immigrants to join unions, thus stopping the undocumented workers vs. american citizen workers dichotomy that republicans especially have been trying to (and succeeding in) shoving down our throats and creating FEAR.

in addition, it puts an end to the “they don’t pay their fair share!” rhetoric. since undocumented immigrants are now apart of unions, their pay is no longer under the table. its legal. its traceable. its taxable. no more hearing ppl bullshit around about freeloading.

overall, i have no idea if thats actually, like, feasible, but i’d say it’s a pretty good idea for a project that i did in an hour. 

anyway that was my day & i know i rambled a LOT but cmon guys its ME, what did you EXPECT?>>>??

[asherhealy]

Relax, You’ll See Them Again Soon Enough - Self Para

Who: Asher of course :3 Where: Foster Home, mainly. When: Uh I’m not good with years but it’s around about the time of Asher’s childhood.  What: Basically, this is just a little look into what happened through Asher’s time in foster care. It’s trash bc I can’t write small kids but w/e who cares.

Andrew Healy had been in foster care for about a year now. If it hadn't been for his school teacher noticing his strange habits at school, he might still be at home. If you could even call it that. The boy was ten years old when he'd gotten home one day only to be whisked off to the foster home not all that far away. The boy didn't like recalling that day, it had been the only time he'd seen his mother scream, begging for the social workers to let her keep her son, but how could they? She was unfit. She needed to help herself before she could help her son. He had promised her that he would see her again one day but it had been seven years now. Nothing had changed. To have your own parents taken away from you one after the other was horrible for the little boy. 

He was a little too naive for his own good, oblivious to what went on in the outside world since all he seemed to focus on was school, being top in his class, ensuring he saw his friends, keeping up baseball practice after school. That was Andrew's life and now what? Now he'd been thrown into somewhere so strange and alien to him. Full of kids from completely different backgrounds and places but they were all here for the same reason - their families had fucked up. 

 The boy had developed a particularly close bond to one of the social workers at the home, Jason, the man who had greeted the teary eyed boy on the day he had arrived at the foster home, the man who told him that everything was going to be perfectly fine, and that his door was always open if he wanted to talk. Andrew seemed to take the man up on his words, the two talked daily and he was certain his experience at the home wouldn't be the same without him. He had quickly become a fatherly figure. Over the progress of the next year until he turned eleven, the boy had been faced with a lot of new realities - the fact that there would be a family out there wanted to foster him, and the fact that he apparently wasn't "tough" enough, and that he "wouldn't last a day in the home". These were the words of the older kids, the ones aged seventeen who'd been kicked out of their homes. 

Asher very clearly remembers walking past their room the day he arrived there, trying to find his when he froze in horror to find them smoking a cigarette. A cigarette! That wasn't allowed! They were minors! This was a foster home! It didn't take long for the teens to notice him, making one smirk and hold out the packet, saying, "Want one?" Andrew stood there very awkwardly and fiddled with the straps of his backpack, not sure what to say. Was he supposed to say yes? Was this some sort of test that all of the new kids went through. He wasn't exactly the most confident of boys out there. It made him nervous, so much the the teens began to laugh at him and say, "We're joking, relax! I'm pretty sure you couldn't handle one of these, anyway, what even are you, like five? You're just a kid." He taunted, making his friend snicker. "I'm ten!" Asher countered, before quickly running off and down the hall, far, far away. How dare they! He was not five, he was ten, that was double what they had said. Who the hell did they think they were, making Andrew look so stupid like that? He wasn't a baby, they made him weak and he wasn't a fan at all. Staring at his bedroom, small and empty, the boy let out a huff and sat on the edges of his sheet-less bed, shaking his head and staring at the floor. "I'm not a baby." He muttered to himself. The boy was determined to prove them wrong. No matter how long it took.

 A few months later... 

 "Andy, come on! Don't be like this!" Andrew had expected to be out of this place by now, back at home with his mother who had fully recovered from her depression and addictions. He hadn't expected to be at this place on his birthday, on Christmas, on everything he loved spending with his family. Instead he was still in foster care, having to deal with all the problems that calm with it.  

About a month or so into his stay, a couple, the Peterson's, had contacted the home, desiring to foster a child since they couldn't conceive naturally at the time. Jason was positive that Andrew would be the perfect little boy for them. He did well at school, he was a caring and intelligent boy, always on his best behaviour, what more could a couple want? Apparently, not him. To start with, everything had gone perfect for Andrew, the couple seemingly loved him dearly, it was all going to plan and everyone was happy!... but then the wife had fallen pregnant. And that meant Asher had to return home. 

 The boy stormed out of the car with his bag on his back, slapping the door and racing down the path to the home, ignoring Jason completely as he yelled for the little boy to stop, quickly wiping the tears so no one would see him cry. It wasn't fair! Just because this baby came along didn't mean he had to go! He was a good foster kid! He would have been a great big brother! But no, of course Andrew had to deal with something like this. The boy ran to his bedroom that had been left untouched since he'd gotten there, falling onto his bed before bursting out into tears as he huddled himself in the corner. Why couldn't things be normal for him? It wasn't that long before Jason had found the boy, quietly walking into his room and sitting down on the edge of the bed as the little boy hid his face but still wept. 

"Andy, don't get upset, these things happen sometimes in foster care, families can't always look after you guys, it's not like adoption, it's just not so simple." The older man said softly, tilting his head and letting out a sigh. He was perhaps the most well liked of all the social workers at Andrew's home. The way he approached things made the kids much more keen towards him than the others, his softer tone had a positive effect on most if not all of the students. "You know yourself they loved you dearly, it's just they co-" he continued but the man was cut off by the little boy who yelled, "No they didn't! If they did I wouldn't be back here! I'd be at their house!" The boy lifted his head to reveal reddened eyes and tear stained checks, his lower lip trembling since he didn't know how to stop himself from looking so upset. He only wished for things to go right for him, it was like a horrible chain of events that just made the poor boy more and more upset. "I just want my real parents back." Moving himself from the corner, Andrew moved to sit next to the man who only nodded and wrapped his arm around the ten year old boy's shoulder, saying, "I know you do, Andy, I know. I get how it feels, you know? I used to live in one of these places too." The boy wiped his eyes dry and sniffed a little, looking down at the floor as he asked, "Can you foster me?" to the man, who only chuckled softly and said, "I'm sorry, Andrew, but it's not that simple..." The ten year old let out a sigh of disappointment since he ought to have seen this coming. "We'll find you a good family one day, I promise." 

 Four years later...

 A lot can happen in four years, people can change an awful lot in that time. Andrew was now fourteen and yet he was still stuck in that god damn foster home. Ever since that night he'd gotten back from that first foster family, everything had gone down hill for the boy. School, behaviour, the whole lot. He didn't like the fact he'd been messed with so much by so many people. The other kids, the foster families, his own parents! It wasn't fair and he was fed up of it. It was time to do things his own way. 

 Foster homes were tough, there were times where you had to defend yourself and Andrew  was quick to build up tough skin, he was done with everyone's bullshit. The boy had developed a temper and was prone to violence, his lack of care in school really showed these days, he had gone from As to Fs, and he'd quit the baseball team, something that he had once prided himself in so much beforehand, shoving his trophies into a box under his bed. What was the point of doing all of those things? He felt no enjoyment from it anymore, who even cared about it? No one paid attention. The boy had been in and out of multiple foster homes who all sent him back for the same reason - they just couldn't handle his rowdy behaviour. Boxing, that was what he did, he found it helpful and it calmed him when someone thought it was funny to piss him off. And if you thought that fourteen year olds didn't smoke, you were wrong. Very, very wrong. Now he was the one offering the others a cigarette. The boy had took a quick liking to the addictive drugs that he has tried one night a while back, so much it had earned him a nickname - Ash, or Asher. The boy much preferred this to his real name and insisted on being called one of the two.

Drums. That was the only over thing that could calm him. Jason had introduced him to them about a year ago, the two still remained a close bond despite Asher’s aggressive nature he now had to him. The boy had always liked music, his parents often played their music they’d grown up with around the house, it was something he’d grown up with but he never even realised that he had a natural talent for musical instruments. He could even sing, but no one knew that, and if you were to find out, you shouldn’t ask him, he would refuse and give you a shove to the shoulders. So that’s what he was doing today, stuck in his room, playing along to the many CDs he now had, ignoring the whines of the younger kids for him to stop, because he ruled this place now, he got to push them around. Or at least that was how he thought it was, anyway.

Half way through a song, the boy when the crash a cymbal when his door suddenly opened to reveal Jason standing in his bedroom in his room. “Asher!” He yelled loudly, “Asher stop!” but the played a little longer before finally coming to halt, swiveling around on his chair as he gave his social worker a smug smirk, saying, “Sorry, did you say something?” which only made the older man frown and ignore the comment. “I’ve got good news.” He began. “Oh yeah? Did you finally realise that the squirrel infestation was because everyone kept throwing out the meat loaf?” He asked. “What? No, I didn’t even know that had ha-... Never mind,” Jason shook his head, “It wasn’t about that, I came to tell you that there’s a couple that wants to meet you.” 

“Don’t care.” Asher muttered, turning back around and picking up his drum sticks again. He went to drum them again but Jason quickly began to talk again before you had a chance. “And why not? You told me you wanted a family who would look after you. These people are great, Andrew, they already have a kid, they’re not going to bring you back her if the wife were to fall pregnant. Why don’t you just give them a chance? They’re willing to give you one.” There was a small glare on Asher’s face but he kept quiet for the minute, allowing Jason to continue. “They’re good people, Asher, please, they want to meet you.” Fiddling with one of his drumsticks, he let out a small huff before spinning around on his seat. “Fine. Ten minutes if it gets you to stop whining... and don’t call me Andrew!”

So that’s how it was. Asher walked down to the meeting room which was nearly silent, opening the door slowly as his care worker stood behind, walking in to find a couple talking among themselves with a little boy who sat on the mothers lap, hardly older than three as he played with one of his toys quietly. The moment they looked up the couple soon had soft smiles on their faces, the little boy looking at Asher as well and giving him a small wave with the toy in his hand. “Hi!” the woman began cheerfully, “Andrew, is it?” which made the boy bite his lip slightly. “It’s Asher.” He mumbled. The woman’s smile grey slightly at his words then, nodding and say, “It’s nice to meet you, Asher.” This only made Asher’s facial expression light up. People always questioned why he went by another name, they never seemed to just accept it and move on. Somehow the woman opposite managed to.

Perhaps that was it. The thing about this family that really changed the way Asher saw foster families, the thing that made him give in and realise being fostered again wasn’t such a bad thing. Before, they had always tried to get him to change his ways, disapprove of the way he acted and made him feel rather inadequate. This family? Different. They accepted him straight away, they didn’t ask why he acted the way he did, they didn’t want him to be someone he wasn’t, they liked him for exactly how he was. Of course, there were things Asher would have to deal with if they fostered him. The family were moving from Chicago to Los Angeles, that was thirty hours away, was he really ready for such a change? He wouldn’t get to see Jason anymore... but perhaps a change was exactly what he needed. He would be starting high school soon, he needed a change of scene, a change of people. Who knows who he would meet in Los Angeles? He hoped he’d finally meet some people he could trust.

That one little thing was the reason he agreed to the fostering. The reason he was still in the same family’s home nearly four years later. Of course Asher had changed so much since then. The tattoos, the motorbike, the band. But some things hadn’t changed. He still hoped one day that he would get to see his father again, that his mother would have recovered, but he didn’t really tell anyone about his wishes. He was tough, he was bad, no one dared mess with him, the things he told himself so often. His foster mother believed the boy didn’t want to see them anymore so she never asked, but that was all he wanted. But they all seemed so far away. He wasn’t one for distance.

[sawyernathan1991]

How To Make Reiki More Powerful Portentous Tricks

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Reiki Gifts

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