#bc our genetics cannot keep up like this together

[darkwood-sleddog]

okay I'm not involved in the ~dog community~ (my own dog is a poorly trained shelter mutt), but I'm really interested in the topic of crossbreeding. Do you have any resources you would recommend for learning more about the topic? Or any crossbreeding projects you think are especially interesting? Thanks!

Crossbreeding is the act of breeding two different types of dogs together (note I say types here because this practice outdates the modern idea of breeds).

I can’t provide you with a neat list of links to follow because crossbreeding is incredibly varied, much like the breeding of any animal. And I am really tired after battling Covid this week.

But above all I support responsible dog breeding and this can be achieved by both purebred breeders and cross breeders equally. The definition of what is a “responsible breeder” also makes things difficult because the definition of such will vary person to person. For me a responsible breeder utilizes all scientific and behavioral avenues available to them to best breed dogs that are: healthy both physically and genetically and temperamentally and physically sound for what they are bred to do. A responsible breeder (for me) is also supportive of the dogs they produce for the lifetime of those dogs which may include: taking the dog back if needed, mentoring puppy buyers, being knowledgeable about their community. Both purebred breeders and cross breeders can hit those responsibility goals (and they also can fail to hit them too just as equally).

Being in the mushing world I am exposed to many, many incredible cross bred and purpose bred non purebred dogs every day. Non purebred dogs win iditarod each year. Non purebred dogs dominate this sport and people have been mushing with and breeding and keeping pedigrees of these non purebred dogs as long if not longer than my own breed, the Alaskan Malamute.

In the UK Luchers, a sighthounds cross breed, is super popular and functional. In the southern United States bully dogs are often crossed with herding dogs and other bulky breeds to create good hog dogs (hogs are invasive in the US). Neither of these are trying to be breeds and the people that love these crosses would not want it that way.

Crossbreeding can also help create new breeds and is much how new breeds have been created in the past. Golden Retrievers, Doberman, Dogo Argentino are just a few that took distinct dog types and molded them into a breed before closing their studbooks to new blood. German Shepherds, Border Collies, Siberian Huskies are breeds that stem from non purebred landrace dogs that just existed as a type of dog and were later molded into modern breeds.

Crossbreeding can also help mitigate health issues that occur in purebred dogs. A huge majority of purebred dogs have closed studbooks. This means that no new blood that is unregistered with the breed club can enter. Breeds do sometimes open this closed book (my own breed the Alaskan Malamute did this in the 1950s to increase genetic diversity). Crossbreeding to fix health issues is usually called ‘outcrossing’ because the crossing is not done widely, but in a more targeted manner. A great example of this is LUA Dalmatians (a single non Dalmatian dog used) and the Bobtailed Boxer Program (really interesting look at how quickly type can be brought back).

In reality I love both purebred dogs and crossbred dogs. I think both serve the needs of the human population as what we need dogs for can be so varied from person to person. I also believe it is bad for populations to keep closed studbooks and I think every breed club should have outcross programs in development, especially those that are circling the drain with incredible health issues such as the Doberman.

I think it’s in poor taste for purebred folk to viscously hate cross bred dogs and their breeders just because some are not breeding responsibly. Irresponsible breeding happens plenty in purebred dogs and people need to stop acting like cross breeders are holding purebred folk at gunpoint and forcing them to buy a doodle.

[heretic-altias]

Still thinking about chocobos, I’ve always seen them as a fusion between horses and chickens as someone with experience with both animals, so have some fun headcanons. Below a cut bc my list is long. Feel free to add on, I’d imagine some stuff from larger birds like emus and ostriches would make nice additions but my family doesn’t own ostriches, we own chickens so that’s what I know about.

- Despite the ingame sleeping model for them laying down, they probably sleep standing up like horses most of the time and just lay down sometimes. Roosting would be a bit impractical for birds this big lol. That being said, they are built much better for laying down and getting back up than horses so they could potentially lay down more often than horses do. They'd certainly sit on a nest if they're brooding eggs, so honestly any amount of laying down you headcanon probably would make sense anyway. They probably mostly lay down to sunbathe, chickens do that irl.

- Chocobos dust bathe bathe like chickens do. It’s very cute.

- There are competitions other than racing for them, maybe similar to horse shows irl. Imagine a chocobo cross country jumping course or chocobo dressage, or for western riding reining or barrel racing (I suggest YouTubing/Googling any of these you don’t know to see what they are)

- Chocobo breeds can vary. Some are bred for riding or driving purposes more like irl horses while others are bred for egg laying or meat (I could never eat one, but in world people probably do unless it’s a cultural Nope) more like chickens are. Some are also bred for interesting color combinations. You should absolutely google different chicken breeds and imagine chocobos with those feathers, I especially like the ones with poofy head feathers. Since chocobos ingame have even more colors than I’ve seen in chickens though, I’ll dip into my knowledge of parrots too and suggest those as color ideas as well. My family has a blue and gold macaw, African gray, and my little black capped conure, all of which would look fantastic as chocobo colors in my opinion. Anything is possible really, not just the solid colors we get ingame or specific irl birds.

- Much like a lot of irl kids go through a ‘horse phase’, lots of eorzean kids go through a ‘chocobo phase’ where they’re absolutely obsessed. Those who discover it’s not just a phase like myself are the ones who will work with chocobos for life, be it as a hobby or career path.

- Chocobos aren’t as bad as chickens with their pecking order, but even horses might clash a little when first introduced. Turn out groups are planned pretty carefully. Between hens mostly though, see further down for why roosters are Problematic.

- There are trail ride places that offer chocobo rides for people with 0 experience. Much like irl, this causes people to insist it’s easy to ride them bc they ‘did it once on vacation’ or 'took a chocobo porter once'

- You cannot geld a bird. To my knowledge anyway, and honestly I don’t really want to know how if I’m wrong lol. This means male chocobos are like roosters. Rooster chocobos probably have the longer fancier looking tail feathers, and probably longer fancier feathers on their head too since the ingame model has a little crest there. They also have spurs. Roos are way meaner than hens usually, so most casual riding birds are probably hens. Some show circuits might not even allow roos to enter. It also means you can only keep one roo with a group of hens usually unless it’s a really big group. Roosters irl can be ok together if there are no hens, and the grand companies probably do this since roos would have the spurs to better attack with in battle. Probably a specific breed of chocobo, bred for well tempered roos to ride into battle. They’d still have to check who they’re turning out with who carefully to make sure they get along, but it is doable. So casual riding birds, mostly hens, war birds, mostly roos. People with very large pastures might keep a roo with their hens for protection though.

- Some breeds of hen might get broody fairly often. It means they’ll sit on eggs or in a nest if there are no eggs bc they really wanna hatch some. They’re probably brats and near impossible to ride unless you manage to drag them out of their nest so they’re on their feet. Some people dunk their chicken’s butt in cold water to try and break the broodiness irl, but with a chocobo you’d probably need to just take a hose and spray it bc they’re too big to dunk. I’d imagine the broody breeds aren’t really the riding breeds though, they’re probably used for hatching eggs laid by the desired breed. They probably breed for less broodiness in riding bird breeds.

- Roosters absolutely crow. I doubt it would sound exactly like an irl rooster, some loud drawn out variation of the kweh or the little whistle sound they make maybe? I’ll leave the exact sound of it up to your imagination. Good luck sleeping on the chocobo farm.

- Just like chickens I don't think theres really a way to tell a roo from a hen on hatch until they grow their feathers in and start to crow. Unless you get a specific breed that you can tell at birth, but most chickens it's a wait and see thing. We've got two chicks rn that my family is praying to the irl genetic rng gods to be girls since we can't keep them if they're roos. I'm sure similar situations have arisen hatching chocobos before, where someone can only keep the chick if it turns out to be a hen. Potential for a Tragic Backstory if your character raised and bonded with a chick that turned out to be a roo and had to give it up.

- They probably grow at a rate closer to horses than chickens. This could really be head cannoned either way, so feel free to say they grow as fast as chickens or ostriches or something if you wanna but as riding animals this just feels too fast in my opinion. That means you probably won't be saddling your chocobo till it's at least 3 or so. Egg incubation however is probably closer to birds since horses don't lay eggs. Chickens take 21 days to incubate and hatch, google says ostriches and emus take closer to the 40-50 day range and personally that longer time feels better to me since they're much larger than chickens. Looks like there was an ostrich fact in here after all huh.

- Lifespan is probably closer to horses, chickens don't actually live very long. Horses can live 25-30 years. I knew one that lived to be well over 30 though, so there are exceptions.

- If a baby chick is raised without a mother hen irl, they need to be raised in a pair or larger group or they'll get lonely as flock animals. With our chickens, the sibling they were raised with is usually their best buddy and they'll stick together when out free ranging fairly often. Chocobos are probably like this too. Horses are also herd animals and prefer to be kept in groups usually, so really it just makes sense for chocobos to be flock oriented.

- Paddocks and/or stalls probably need a big nest box type setup for the birds to lay their eggs in. But I doubt all chocobo breeds lay year round. Second ostrich fact, google says they only lay during breeding season. Chocos not bred for laying might work more like this, but I could see it varying based on breed. Most chickens actually stop producing eggs entirely when they're older, unless they're death layers. That's a specific type of chicken that'll lay for their entire life.

This is all I can think of for now, will add more if I think of anything else. I'm open to questions about horses or chickens if people want information for their own headcanons. I'm no expert, but my family keeps chickens and I own a horse so I at least have experience working around both that others out there might not have. Don't ask me about ostriches though. Find an ostrich farmer for that.

[lizacstuff]

Anon asks: SCK Fragman 38 speculation

(Asks under the cut)

Anonymous said: Do you think they're getting married this next episode? idk if the tattoos were confirmation

I think it’s possible? But I also think it’s entirely possible that they get the tattoos as a symbol of their love and a promise of sorts that they are through messing around, but they’re not actually married yet.  Frankly, they already gave us all the wedding hoopla with these two, I’m absolutely fine with an elopement or quick courthouse style wedding, or just a couple of witnesses in a garden. Whatever they want! Let’s just get her done.

Also... I know I said it before, but I’m just in love with the idea of these tattoos. Such a great solution to their ring issue. 

Anonymous said: Thoughts on all these twitter theories from the “sick” line in the fragman?

- it’s about piril and engins kid bc basak and anil filmed in the hospital, and piril was hit by a car in 36 and in 37 she had that moment where she clutched her abdomen and had to sit down

- it’s a flashback serkan has to when his brother alp was sick

- serkan is sick and it’s a way to reveal Kemal as his bio dad (blood or organ donation)

- serkan is sick and it’s a way to reveal eda is pregnant when they draw blood from her to donate

That fragman could be hinting at so many things, and it very well could have been misleading. So lets take each theory in turn. 

“it’s about piril and engins kid bc basak and anil filmed in the hospital, and piril was hit by a car in 36 and in 37 she had that moment where she clutched her abdomen and had to sit down”

Very possible. Engin thinking something had happened to Piril two eps ago did feel like foreshadowing, almost preparing the audience for something. It would be so heartbreaking if she loses the baby, and seems too dark for this show, but it is something that happens to millions of women, so we’ll see.

Also can you imagine after the way Piril stuck by Selin, if Piril lost her baby, and she then witnesses Selin using her baby as a pawn to get revenge on Serkan and Eda?  I’d like to see Piril and Engin’s reaction to that. Though again I think that’s pretty dark, especially for the side couple. 

- it’s a flashback serkan has to when his brother alp was sick

I think this is a very good guess. Serkan probably will see a doctor after he passed out, and if it is another panic attack brought on by the stress of losing Eda, I could see a doctor telling him if he wants to move past the panic attacks, he needs to get at the root of his abandonment issues, which all lead back to his brother’s death. That could be why he’s getting out a box of his things and reading that letter.  So I could very well see a flashback happening to Alp’s diagnosis.

- serkan is sick and it’s a way to reveal Kemal as his bio dad (blood or organ donation)

I’m honestly fully onboard with Kemal as Serkan’s bio dad.  I hear a lot of people poopooing the idea because of opportunity, but I think they told us when it could have happened. In their first meeting, (unless my subs were bad) Aydan mentioned that Kemal had returned once to apologize for standing her up when they were young and going to run away together. I assume that was the window. Kemal showed up years later (after Alp was born) to apologize.. they had a fling and there’s the opportunity for Serkan to be his son. 

Though, to me, if they’re doing something with Serkan’s health it’s got to be related to the plane crash. The chest clutching since he’s been back is concerning, plus wasn’t his hand shaking at one point? So I don’t see him having some serious underlying issue that’s unrelated. This guy does not shy away from going to the doctor and was just in the hospital for probably over a month recovering, so you’d think if there was anything wrong before, we’d know it.  Unless the plane crash acerbated something that’s genetic? And/or requires a match like bone marrow or kidney. I suppose they could give Serkan some rare blood type and that would be something applicable to most any ailment. We shall see. 

- serkan is sick and it’s a way to reveal eda is pregnant when they draw blood from her to donate

This one I think is the least likely. It’s been very fuzzy how much time has passed, but at the minimum 3 months since they were supposed to get married and were having sex, so if Eda were pregnant I think she would have noticed the signs by now.  

Anonymous said: Liza, I know they won’t kill Serkan, but could you reassure me that they won’t? I’ve followed you since Once and you were always good at reassuring.

Ha! I remember making lists of all the reasons they would never kill Hook. 

THEY WON’T KILL SERKAN.

And I’m even more certain of this than I ever was of them not killing Hook, and I was damn certain then. 

There is literally not ONE reason for this show to exist without Eda and Serkan. Not one. This is their love story, and really, storyline wise, the show should have ended awhile ago, and the only reason they keep it going is to keep Hande and Kerem on screen together, making their magic. Seriously, that’s the only reason.

You see how Serkan dying would be counter to that, right?  And if the show were about to end, trust me, there is nothing in it for anyone to have a tragic ending. This started as a romantic comedy, and will end as one, with a happily ever after. And if you’re still nervous, trust this, the production company is still hopeful to sell it into even more foreign markets, especially English language ones, a surprise tragic, twist ending that gets vilified on social media (and trust me this fandom is huge, vocal and capable) would really hurt those chances. 

So even if we’re headed into a bad diagnosis for Serkan, he will be fine in the end, it will just be something for him and Eda to fight through. I promise. 

Anonymous said: thoughts on that wonderfully beautiful fragman? i was watching with hearts in my eyes and then read the translations.. poor serkan!! if it really isn't misleading i definitely think it's some consequence of the plane crash. but, we are secure in what kind of show this is and the full knowledge that it's not a drama and no one is gonna actually die, i'm excited for the potential this storyline is gonna give us!! (esp with the return of the old writers)

I can’t wait to see that rain scene, and the after-the-rain scene and their motorcycle ride. The fragman was very beautiful, but it also felt very poignant and a little melancholy.

It’s interesting with the announcement that the second writing team was back, there were tidbits from several legit entertainment-type reporters yesterday that the show was going back to it’s roots being funny and entertaining.  So a terrible diagnosis for one of the current characters, especially the romantic leading man, doesn’t really fit with that. 

It the writers hadn’t changed I’d be more concerned, not about a character dying, just about the show leaning into some big sort of health-related melodrama.  But I think whatever might be happening will be in service to the plot.  As far as Serkan having a health-scare related to the crash, as I said above it’s very plausible. I mean what are the chances that a man survives a plane crash, is fished out of the sea, spends weeks in a hospital, gets amnesia and is perfectly fine 3-4 months later with no other repercussion? Doesn’t seem possible! 

Anonymous said: Liza, the second set of writers is really coming back! We might actually get comeuppance for Selin!

YESS!!!!! Please. I had completely lost hope with the last set of writers who seemed hellbent on normalizing her behavior.  Look I’d be fine with a 3 minute conversation where Serkan tells her that he knows she’s a manipulative liar and the baby is not his, that he wants her out of their lives for good, and that if she ever comes near Eda ever again he will personally destroy her. 

Is that so much to ask?

Though I’d like her to be humiliated in front of the rest of the team. Just so everyone knows what kind of psycho she is and no one in Edser’s orbit is tempted to give her another chance ever again. 

It will be interesting to see how this plays out.  With the news that Sarp Can (Deniz) is COVID positive, he obviously won’t be back on set anytime soon. They could probably get some VO from him if necessary, for a phone convo, but I’m gonna guess he’s done on screen. 

It’s time to write both characters out! 

As for the 22-23, 25-30 writers coming back, that is the best news I’ve had in ages.  They weren’t perfect, but the things they did well, they did really, really well. Their comedy, romantic scenes, heartfelt dialogue, accurate characterizations and penchant for sizzling scenes that “break the Turkish family structure” will all be most welcome. I’m really excited for the first time in ages. 

Anonymous said: Very interesting that the fragman did not address the Selin baby drama at all. It focused solely on Edser which was a welcome change while at the same time has me a bit nervous for the angst & drama no doubt headed our way. But if Eda & Serkan are together for good now to face the challenges coming then I cannot wait to watch. The last episode was so well done but Eda & Serkan were both near their breaking points for different reasons & you just felt awful for both of them. Really glad that the engagement did not happen and the show focused on the fallout from Serkan’s amnesia. And even had the side characters addressing how difficult things have been for Eda and that she might need some time before picking things back up with Serkan! Looking forward to the resolution of the baby story/exit of Selin and seeing Eda & Serkan heal together.

I hope that the fact that nothing Selin-related was addressed in the fragman means that we finally have people in charge who understand that we are so damned fatigued of Selin that featuring her an active deterrent for viewers.  Also I haven’t seen any evidence that Bige has been on set for 38. That doesn’t mean she hasn’t, it’s still possible, but it is encouraging that the ep will be  light on Selin. 

As far as the drama and angst, I think there’s more headed our way, however I’m hopeful it will be the good kind and not the kind that made us really uncomfortable and want to tear our hair out during the Selin/Deniz era. We know that Eda and Serkan must decide to stay together (spending time together, ring finger tattoos) so the point of the pregnancy storyline is done. When Eda found out Selin was pregnant, it gave Selin the chance for one last Hail Mary pass, and she took it, trying to break them up, but it failed. So it’s usefulness is over. She can’t keep the charade going because of Deniz, and because once Serkan has time to calm down and think, he’ll realize that any time in Slovania where he was so injured that it’s possible he doesn’t remember, he also would have been too physically incapacitated to do anything of the sort. 

As for Eda needing some time, yes, things in 36 were just too easy for Serkan in terms of the fallout from his amnesic behavior. Episode 37 made him work for it and I think come to terms with the fact that, Selin manipulations or no, there’s work to do and things he needs to atone for.  Putting her first throughout the episode, and showering her with love, was a good start. 

Anonymous said: The conversations Selin had with Eda, Serkan and Aydan in this episode had my blood boiling. Someone stop this psycho! The unnecessary hole digging was real, my god. I don't care if she's pregnant, don't hold Eda back this time and let her fight this snake. Let everyone fight her! If she's lying to Deniz now, he can fight her too.

I know, she reached new levels of abusive manipulation.  They better be planning a comeuppance, if she’s just allowed to leave with people waving goodbye, I will scream.  The Aydan conversation with her posing the question about abortion was something else. It came across to me more as a threat. Like... I’m thinking about doing this, if you don’t want my decision to be your fault, you better stay on the right side of me. 

The Eda and Serkan stuff goes without saying. It still floors me that she’s willing to pretend like she raped him (if he can’t remember because he was that injured and foggy, then it’s impossible for him to have given consent.) rather than just giving up and living the truth.  

Anonymous said: Like I get it (kind of) but I am so sick of watching Serkan be nice to Selin. Very much looking forward to Serkan chewing her out for how much she hurt Eda with this fake Serkan baby daddy story when she is exposed. I get that Serkan feels he is to blame for calling her to Slovenia in the first place & essentially in his mind giving her hope of them being together but he needs to stop excusing her horrible behavior from there. No decent person would take advantage of that situation the way she did. It seems like the only way that Selin will have an epic fall is if Deniz decides to fight for the kid he knows must be his and tell Eda everything. Going to be tough for her to believe initially but it will have to start making sense once she thinks back on things and then if the photos surface then she will know it must be true.

Agreed. I get Serkan’s guilt, and it actually shows what a good person he is, but he needs to get over it.  Because seriously, all Selin was obligated to do when she got his call was to hang up, and then dial one of the following: his mother, his father, his fiancé or best friend/business partner Engin. That’s it. Call them and say, hey, Serkan’s alive, this is where you’ll find him. But NOPE! Instead she decided to fly there, manipulate him, keep him hidden and try to use it to get back with him. She made him beholden to her, just another in the long line of brainwashing and manipulation. Her flying to his bedside was the wrong thing to do, and it would be great if someone beside Eda recognized that. 

Anonymous said: Even though Selin is the worst and I just cannot wait for her to finally be unmasked as the manipulator she is, I am really looking forward to Edser in the next episode. Eda taking care of Serkan after he passes out, the two of them reaffirming their commitment to each other with the tattoos & possible elopement, Eda reassuring Serkan that she will be at his side even if the kid turns out to be his and also the two of them working together to get to the truth. So darn excited! And if the spoilers are right that Deniz tells Eda the truth and Serkan sees the photos from Ferit then I will be so happy. It is time for Selin to go for good!

SELIN MUST GO. Yes, I think as soon as the news that Selin is pregnant and trying to pass it off as Serkan’s brain-fog baby, Ferit will unleash the photos. (if it’s him that has them).  

I just want Selin and Deniz gone so we can focus on other things. Their presence on this show is a energy drain, and I want to focus on rain frolicking, motorcycles and bed sharing!!!!!  

Anonymous said: I'm so glad that we had a scene of Serkan telling Eda that even without his memories he fell in love with her again, he just couldn't admit it. Serkan has an interesting perspective on the memory loss part of their lives where I think he almost feels too guilty about it all and just wants to move past it. I've noticed that in his dialogues in 36 & 37 where he wants to leave it in the past and basically do his all to make it all up to her in the present and future.

I think this is very well observed. He definitely was trying to leave the past in the past, but honestly I think that’s just laziness on the part of the old writers, not wanting to have to have a reckoning for all the things they had him say or do. Since the writers decided to go that way, I could buy it’s because Serkan feels too guilty about it all. We know how much he loathes making mistakes or being wrong or owing apologies. If that’s what they wanted to do, it would have gone a long way if they’d shown a bit more of him blaming himself, especially in 36. 

I was also very happy that Serkan came out and said that he’s fallen in love with her again. My only thing is I wish if they were going to do that, they would have thrown a little more detail in the dialogue. Like Serkan admitting to her that he started thinking about her all the time as soon as he returned and met her, maybe admit that he slept on his office couch clutching her wedding invitation.  A couple of things like that would have been very nice for Eda to hear. 

Anonymous said: SCK sure loves creating difficult situations for Eda & Serkan. I really felt for Serkan in the last episode especially since he was back to being the romantic robot we all love. He so baldly wants to make up for lost time with Eda that he rushes ahead with the proposal and then gets crushed when she rejects him. And then spends most of the episode frantically trying to figure out what is going on with her and trying to show her how much he loves her. I was really happy though that the show addressed a few different times how awful the last few months have been for Eda and it also made Serkan address it. His plan to just forget about everything and move forward did not happen. Loved that the side characters stepped up to remind him of everything he & Selin put Eda through. Not so crazy that the show decided to use Selin’s pregnancy as the plot device to get Serkan to finally realize “oh yeah, what happened since my accident is a very big deal & now I have to face it & come to terms with it” but still glad it happened. Selin is obviously so much more in the wrong than Serkan but let’s hope her downfall takes place in the next episode.

All of this.  I think you’re exactly right, Serkan tried to brush past everything and I’m glad that finally the other characters stepped up a little to help make him see that he had more work to do. Special shout out to Seyfi for his sassy comment about Serkan almost marrying another woman. And finally Piril was useful and acted like a friend, the first time she had since he returned.  

[roominthecastle]

Ok so since you’re a believer/supporter of Agnes Gate I have this question. Lizzy’s memories were wiped, but how do you explain Red? What does he know/suspect? How do you explain his behavior? Where does he stand in all this? Hope you got my point because I’m sick and I’ve lost my ability to think clearly and transform thoughts into words 🤒😂

*cracks knuckles*

Yes, you’re coming across clearly, anon, these are all valid points/questions, and I hope you’re feeling better.

Now “believer” is a strong word but I do believe there’s enough wiggle room in current show canon to accommodate this theory. In other words (bc I really don’t want anyone to misunderstand me here): there’s still enough story space for this idea to emerge but there is no direct, overt proof that it is there or that it will.

So consider what follows NOT a proof post but a simple, albeit long AF - thought experiment that presupposes two things:

Liz and Red slept together while on the run (canonically that’s the period when Agnes was conceived)

Liz’s memory of this has been either altered or removed by Dr. Krilov

Now, behavior was, in fact, the one thing that initially put me off this theory bc I didn’t think Red would be willing to just step aside if he suspected he might be the baby’s father. BUT the following seasons revealed a couple of good reasons why he would not speak up (Kirk and the never-ending list of other hostiles, Liz’s “I hate your guts” phase, Liz clinging to Tom, Liz’s selective memory - courtesy of Krilov, fake-DG & the issue of the suitcase, an illness).

They also continued to show just how apt both Red and Liz are to not deal with stuff that’s not an immediate threat (e.g. Liz’s ‘I love you’ which they both willingly continue to just not address), and the thing is: despite not contesting paternity in any overt way, Red never actually stepped aside.

I think this paternity issue and its various complications - from Red’s perspective - can be separated into 4 major time blocks:

S3B

S4

S5A

S5B–present

Even if there’s a reason for Red to think he might be Agnes’ father, I don’t believe he works off anything more than mild suspicions in the S3B–S5A period.

During this time, his relationship with Liz is rapidly unraveling and several other roadblocks and threats emerge that likely discourage him from openly broaching this issue. Then he gets to raise Agnes for 10 months, which provides the perfect opportunity to safely run a paternity test and maybe even another genetic screening (they made a point of telling us that baby Agnes was getting a standard one back in S3 + it was emphasized how having the correct info about her parents’ medical history is crucial for accurate testing - info Tom couldn’t provide). The beginning of Red’s collaboration with Dr. Stark roughly dates back to the time period when he had Agnes with him. If Red has a hereditary (late-onset) illness, he could have been driven to seek a cure once the tests confirmed his suspicions, and he’s now testing it on himself to make sure it works and is safe before giving it to Agnes.

IF.

– more on all this behind the cut – (apologies, mobile users)

- [ S3B ] -

Confirmation of the pregnancy is a wedge between Liz and Red, and it’s Red who screws up first when he rejects the baby right off the bat and tries to bury himself in work. It understandably hurts Liz and the tense tone of their interactions begins to snowball. The main issue concerning Red’s behavior in S3B, right after Liz tells him that she’s pregnant and he bounces back from his initial rejection, is that he becomes “suffocating” and more committed than ever to keep her and the baby in his orbit (which also alarms and later sets off Mr. Kaplan). Red has little sense of boundary, he starts isolating Liz, and he barely tolerates Tom’s presence. When he makes an effort to tolerate him, that’s bc he is trying his best to respect Liz’s choices/wishes (just like in “Ruin”) regardless of his own feelings, but it doesn’t prevent him from repeatedly trying to push Tom out of the picture. He saves him from going to prison but he still has a hard time dealing with Liz having a close relationship with him. This also echoes his original plans for Tom: being there for her but also keeping his distance. This, in turn, echoes his original “invisible benefactor” role he cast himself in (and both of them clearly crossed these lines as the years went by – more on this later).

Despite telling her that he’s known about the pregnancy for some time, Red does not act out until after Liz doesn’t deny that Tom is the father. Red knew about the pregnancy already, he had weeks to vent and get used to the idea, so his spiraling is kind of puzzling unless it’s not the pregnancy itself that sets him off. The only thing he wasn’t sure about was paternity (why?), so the only emotionally logical reason for his weird spiral is that part of him was still hoping that the baby was not Tom’s (tho, in theory, nobody else was in proximity other than the two of them + a more closer look at the timeline reveals that Tom was, in fact, nowhere near Liz when the baby was conceived).

But when Liz didn’t deny it, that’s when it became too much for Red: he didn’t want to have a child (for several reasons) but what he wanted even less was Tom to be confirmed as the father. Then his entire outlook on this subject changes by the end of the episode (after reminding himself how Katarina, too, dreaded having a baby but changed her mind completely). This also brings that Samar/Aram conversation to mind where she tells Aram how being around him changed her attitude towards having children, but now she cannot raise one bc of her condition.

But back to 312 and the “I’m pregnant” moment:

This whole conversation is just weird. Red is tense from the moment he sees Liz at the Post Office, then feeds her the answer to his own question, presenting it as a statement: “I assume Tom is the father.” Why not just give her the opportunity to name him? What this feels like is him giving her an out instead, and his closed-off, prickly, I-am-being-very-inconvenienced-by-this behavior (and Tom’s enthusiasm) is practically willing Liz to take it. And she hesitates for a moment, then instead of saying “yes” she just says, “I haven’t told him yet.” And this is where Red’s barely civil behavior veers into total assholery rejection, then he does a 180 at the end of the episode. By then Liz is sufficiently pissed off and is already pushing him away and sliding back into Tom’s arms. So in many ways ep 312 is where things truly turn and then get worse, and it all happens over Tom, essentially.

After this fallout, we get the episode where Red is thinking back to Josephine who was maneuvered into marrying an abusive scumbag for strategic reasons (as usual, we have parallels too). It was all arranged by a third party, which reminds me of Mr. Kaplan referring to Tom as her “confidant”, which makes me wonder about the extent of their off-screen interaction. Mr. Kaplan was doing everything to tear Red and Liz apart bc she saw that bond as fatal to both and a danger to the baby. Maybe she arranged that 2nd session w/ Krilov (who might have planted images that switched Red and Tom like he did w/ the fire memory where the roles were switched around), then she tipped Tom off, urging him to rekindle his relationship w/ Liz (his proposal was so out of the blue, I still don’t know what to do w/ that).

When Liz wants to give up the baby for adoption, she is told that she has to discuss this with the father, too, as his consent is also needed. Liz says the father is busy with work, then she has 0 conversation about this w/ Tom and goes to Red who, now being very pro having the baby, tries to talk her out of it. He also sabotages Tom’s teacher job and, at the same time, swoops in and presents Liz with a trust fund he set up for the baby, insisting that it’s for the child. As far as symbolic actions go, this one is screaming “I am the provider, not him”. And if it’s not clear enough, he also spells it out by telling her Tom’s not worthy of being her husband and of raising the baby. But it’s too late. Liz rejects him and clings to Tom. She even re-watches the video of Tom being interviewed as a potential adoptive father, which we saw in S1. Liz has been show to chat with potential adoptive parents, so her watching Tom’s adoption agency interview kinda makes it look like she picks Tom to “adopt” Agnes.

S3B is the time period when the threat from Kirk starts emerging. Mr. Kaplan also begins to view Red and Liz’s bond as sth to sever and Red himself as a threat to Agnes, saying that the baby hasn’t even been born yet but is “already paying the price for her association” with him. Then Liz kicks Red out when he asks to see the newborn baby, and soon after Liz’s “death”, Tom tells him that Agnes would only need protection if Red remained in her life. The three of them manage to gaslight Red to such an extent that he completely breaks down. He begins to contemplate ending it all and wanders around, cataloging the reasons.

And that episode-long contemplation is where we get to see (his version of) Katarina in this exact position, her pain at losing the man she loved at a time when there was so much anger and tension btw them, at not being able to raise her daughter, and all her reasoning for committing suicide (all paralleling Red’s). We can also glimpse Red’s innermost thoughts/feelings regarding Liz, Agnes, and Tom. He says “her mother is dead. All she has is the father.” Somehow he cannot bring himself to call Tom “her father” and this is reflected in future real-life interactions w/ Tom as well, when he switches between calling Agnes “Elizabeth’s child” and “your daughter” in his presence. Liz similarly switches btw calling Agnes “my” and “our” around Tom, and initially she refuses to refer to Agnes as anything but “my baby” even after Tom corrects her. It’s almost like both she and Red need some time to adjust. She does. Red? not so much.

Dom further adds to Red’s crushing guilt by reminding him how his choices doomed Liz like they doomed Katarina before. But then he also reminds him that he still has a reason to live as there are others out there who depend on him (“God help them.” - I LOVE Dom). So Red returns to make sure Agnes is safe and to exact vengeance for Liz’s death, two goals which are tied in his mind as he claims that the only way to protect Agnes is by killing Kirk who’s responsible for Liz’s death. He makes a deal with Tom: he lets him participate in the hunt in exchange for being allowed to spend time with Agnes. Again, this whole exchange has a vibe of negotiating visitation rights.

And Red’s interactions w/ Scottie give us a feel for why he will not argue much in the future when Liz decides to pick her to look after Agnes: Red calls Scottie “a brilliant strategist” who - despite Red’s visceral dislike of her - is a suitable “guard” as long as she believes Agnes to be her granddaughter. So not giving any reason to undermine that belief is in the little girl’s best interest (for now).

- [ S4 ] -

This is a period dedicatedto the overarching theme of “truth vs. appearances”, and we have afew interesting ideas and info snippets introduced that can help furtherexplain Red’s behavior if (he suspects that) Agnes is his.

First of all, we meet Kirkand gain some insight into the relationship dynamics of the past - dynamicswhich reflect those in the present.

Mirroring is a curiousfeature that’s utilized right at the beginning, in 401. It’s briefly touchedupon (here) but what makes the Red-Kirk-Liz scene especially interesting isthat the mirroring btw this exchange and the Red-Tom-Agnes one in “CapeMay” is not merely visual but also verbal, giving some weight to thesuspicion that they are linked by design. In both scenes we have the“designated dad” in a room with his daughter while the real father(Red is not Liz’s father but in 401 he “stands in” for real Reddington) is separated and looking in from the outside. On top of that, the dialogues are verysimilar, too:

Red (401): Are you okay? || Red (319): She’ll need protection.Kirk (401): Unlike you, I’d never hurt my own daughter. || Tom (319): Only ifyou are in her life.

And to push it even further,Kirk’s words (“What I desire is to raise my child. To watch hergrow.”) reflect Red’s innermost wish he voices in 319: “ I’d giveanything to be a part of that child’s life […] see her, hold her, watch hergrow.” And this also echoes Liz’s fantasy she shares with Red when theyare on the run. And Red’s retort to Kirk in 401 (“She was never yours toraise.”) also matches Red’s dance around the issue of Agnes’ paternity in319 where he refuses to directly call Tom her father, paralleling Katarina’s pain that she feels due to being separated from her daughter.

So I think what we can statewith certainty here is that there is confusion around paternity inboth scenes.

As the season unfolds, we dolearn that Kirk was a “cover dad”, designated as such by Katarina formultiple reasons (that happen to match Liz’s reasons for wanting to“escape” Red in S3 and be with Tom instead):

best chance at a normal life: Kirk did not work as an agent or any kind ofoperative, he had a (relatively) stable life in Russia. Katarina wasmarried to him and they lived together until real Reddington, believing Mashato be his daughter, took their daughter back to the US.

safety: asRed put it, “Your safety was guaranteed because Kirk believed you to behis daughter.” This belief was cemented in by a fake DNA report andentries in Katarina’s journal where she writes about their relief that Mashawon’t be exposed to the genetic illness that plagues Kirk’s family as it canonly be inherited by sons.

“no other path”: despite loving Reddington, Katarina accepted that she was never gonna endup with him. The circumstances were forever against them. This is why she began distancing herself from him and this is why she didn’t want to know ifhe was Masha’s father.

If Katarina had written apro/con list for her baby, I bet it would have looked a lot like the one Liz wrote, exceptit would have said “Kirk????” instead of “Tom????” But, as Redtold Liz, being Katarina’s husband didn’t make Kirk her father, which is apotentially relevant observation given how Liz kept trying to marry Tom at allcosts to force a “normal family” into existence that was never more than anillusion + how she was trying to distance herself from Red.

Those three main reasons abovealso provided the motivation for a cover-up that Kirk refused to acceptas the truth until multiple tests confirmed it when he fell ill and needed agenetic donation from a blood relative. As Red pointed out, “You saw whatKatarina wanted you to see.” This also echoes Mr. Kaplan’s words to Red atthe end of S3: “You saw what we needed you to see.” which might godeeper than “merely” faking Liz’s death and could be a hint at Kaplan’srole in arranging the 2nd memory manip session with Krilov.

In this season, Red alsostruggles with appearance vs. truth, with the cost/benefit ratio of deceptionsand false assumptions. This happens indirectly when he “auditions” hisnew cleaners in a pristine white apartment where one of his friends wasmurdered. He is both upset and marvels at how clean everything looks –“your cleaners removed even the memory of his blood”.

This practicality takes on asymbolic meaning as it carries over into Red’s relationship with Mr. Kaplanwhom he calls his confessor: “every trespass I committed, expunged.Cleansed as if it never happened.” Mr. Kaplan claims that Red betrayed Lizand held her “emotionally hostage”. These are rather extreme accusations… unless Red and Liz slept together while on the run and Redconfessed this to Mr. Kaplan. Now that act could be easily and understandablyconsidered trespassing by her, a crossing of a line that never should have beencrossed (= a betrayal). Red felt rage when he learned that Tom had become intimate with Liz. He considered this a betrayal, too, and Tom an immediate threat. He went about correcting the situation the same way Mr. Kaplan goes about correcting Red’s behavior in S3B-S4. Perhaps the trigger was the same type of trespassing too.

Mr. Kaplan makes it her mission to separate Liz and Red,and it all begins back in S3, around the time somebody hired Dr. Krilov to takecertain memories from Liz. Red is very close to directly confessing his feelings for Liz in 302. If he ended up confessing that he’s in love with her and they ended up in bed, that can be considered “a truth” about him that Liz uncovered – a truth that someone who doesn’t want them to be together would definitely object to.

Mr. Kaplan urges Liz to “do what yourmother never had the courage to do: walk away from Raymond.” IF Red and Liz slepttogether and Agnes was the result, then Dr. Krilov’s 2nd memory manipulationdid what Red’s cleaner(s) did in the white apartment: the “trespass” got “expunged”. Even the memory of it.Truth became elusive and assumptions took its place (like “I assume Tom is thefather.”).

Red is trying to complete a white puzzle in the white apartment,which takes on potential relevance after we can hear him compare memory toa jigsaw puzzle in 514. The possible relevance? Maybe he’s wondering (puzzled, if you will ;) why Lizacts as if nothing happened between them on the run, as if her memory of it were wiped clean. And while it is undoubtedly simpler and safer thisway, and it’s best to leave that topic alone, it is hard for him to accept, esp with Tomin the picture and taking on roles Red wishes to be able to fill, roles Liz now rejects him in.

In this episode we can also hear Gale make a pointed, suggestive remarkto Liz about her time with Red in S3A: “What was it like on the run withhim? Did he charm you?” And all this happens while Mr. Kaplan is hell-benton tearing Red and Liz apart for the sake of all of their safety, claiming thatRed’s presence in their lives is a threat to Agnes, Liz, and also to himself.

Memory manipulation - or the presence of holes in one’s memory - has itsown “footprint” in the show. It usually manifests as images drifting outof focus and echoing voices. There are two instances where this happens to Liz with no apparent reason. One is in 308 when she is in a gas stationbathroom - already pregnant - staring at her reflection in the dirty mirror. The other is in 317when Red marches towards her in the church, calling out her name and interrupting her and Tom’s wedding -both are situations where her baby’s father and her husband are likely on her mind. In317 she even connects the two by saying she wants to build a life with thefather of her child and Red keeps pleading with her to not marry Tom.

We are periodically reminded that Red is a Proust fan, and Proustjust happens to be the author of À la recherche du temps perdu (In Search of Lost Time) - a monumentalexploration of the various connections that web reality, perception, and memorytogether. The concept of involuntary memory originates from this novel series,and we can see this in action on The Blacklist, too, when Liz’sburied memory of the night of the fire gets triggered in 222. It’s also possible that she was close to being triggered in those twoscenes mentioned above, and maybe she won’t even need Krilov’s help in regaining the memories she’s lost the 2nd time as they could also be triggered unexpectedly by the smallest, most random thing - a smell, a taste, a voice, a gesture.

The white apartment incidentalso coincides with Liz, Agnes, and Tom moving to a new apartment. Redhas a hard time adjusting to this change, to no longer being able to see Agneswhenever he wants (and he was visiting her regularly while they were in his safe house, always showing up w/ the request to see her in particular), which brings the downside of deception into focus: separation. And Redstruggles with this despite understanding the safety that lies in it and inhiding truths - something Katarina knew a lot about, as well.

It’s not surprising that he soon starts musingabout the importance of truth (in 412):

“You said something before. The truth doesn’t matter, that the only thing in this world that matters is just the appearance of truth. I fear you might be right about that. Lately I find that the truth has become… so elusive. Often imaginary. But in the end, it’s all that we’re left with, isn’t it? What is real, what you can taste and touch and feel. The words that pass between us as we look each other in the eye are… all we have to hold on to. The truth. I hold it dear.”

then he proceeds to make a cuckoo clock forAgnes in the following episode (x, x). His first remark on how he is no longercomfortable with the idea of dying at any second also pops up in 412, and itgets reaffirmed in 415, in the same episode where the bad guy of the weekexpresses the same sentiment: his reason for clinging to his miserable life is fatherhood andhe wants a family even if he is barred from being physically present in their lives.

Red faces this issue, too. Tom remains Agnes’ (designated)dad and Liz’s husband while he is now kept away. He stillkeeps prodding that family unit, though, keeps teasing Tom about his pastand keeps involving him in missions to strip away his thin veneer of “normaland safe” to prove to Liz that she is mistaken about him. (sidenote: Tom also“takes over” the sentiment of Liz - and Agnes - being his future; thisis Red’s “thing”, has been since S1)

Meanwhile, Red keepsflip-flopping between accepting Mr. Kaplan’s accusations and rejecting them (“Maybe I am the person you need protection from.” vs “She was wrong to think Elizabeth and Agnes were safer without me in their lives.”). Hecannot seem to make up his mind as others join the chorus of blaming him forhow badly things turned out.

This is also the seasonwhere Red has an awkward and out-of-the-blue exchange with Cooper about thelatter’s sick daughter (414), and in another ep (404) - one featuring a parentand child sharing the same disorder - Red is asked point blank if he has achild with special needs but he doesn’t answer.

His personal struggle with appearancevs truth, however, is temporarily suspended when Liz blindsides him with the DNA test in 422. Despite his visible discomfort, Reddoesn’t correct Liz’s false assumption because it happens to provide theperfect cover he so desperately needs to find the skeleton Mr. Kaplan unearthed.But this strategic move comes with the price of having to keep his silenceabout Agnes for the foreseeable future. Thanks to Mr. Kaplan’s parting gift andCooper’s (accidental?) “antidote” of running that DNA test and providing cover, Red is now backed into a corner where the only way topreserve his secret is by not challenging appearances.

- [ S5A ] -

this block is nestledbetween two high-impact turning points: the DNA test and Tom’s death. The DNAtest locks Red into a false role, that of Liz’s father, which holds throughoutS5 and to a lesser extent in S6. The only reprieve is the 10-month period duringwhich he gets to take on the role of father in Agnes’ life (=inhabiting thetruth). Liz spends this time unconscious, which I find quite symbolic, as well (her being not conscious of his true role).

The DNA test is both a curseand a blessing. Red undoubtedly enjoys the sudden warming of his relationship with Lizbut he clearly does not enjoy her referring to him as “father”. Everytime it happens, we can see him wince, cringe, or glare in silence. But it happensto be the perfect cover for him to keep searching for the skeleton since it preventsLiz from asking the very questions he doesn’t want her to wonder about.

So Liz confrontinghim with the DNA test closes the window of opportunity Red still had in S3B andS4 to contest paternity. This turn of events also forces him to prioritizepreserving his secret over almost everything else (he is only ready to give it up when he thinks Liz’s life is at stake), so the struggle we can see him having in S4 - the onebtw appearances and the truth - promptly takes a back seat as keeping upappearances becomes the #1 strategic necessity.

That being said, Red still onlydoes the bare minimum (= not denying it outright) to play father to Liz. And this time block brings some interesting remarks about geneticsand secrets, which may have more significance than simply serving as empty redherrings until the impostor reveal hits at the end of the season.

Smokeydrops some comments about being “just like daddy” and having “noway to avoid the family curse” because “DNA is what it is.” Onthe surface this ties into the (beyond grating) tendency of some characters to blame-shiftand refuse to take any responsibility for their shitty life choices. But what makesthis exchange stand out is the wording “family curse” becauseKatarina uses a similar phrase (“this accursed disease that has afflicted his family for generations”) to describe Kirk’s condition.In 506, Tom also remarks to Red that “family secrets” always comeout. And now Red is sick and is in need of a pioneering geneticist’s help to find a cure. Somehow I don’t believe this is all just coincidence. + judging from those (brief) (glimpses) we get at Agnes, she is already a lot like her dad. ;)

Ep 504 in particularhas some curious details because they don’t line up with Red and Liz’s pretendrelationship but they do line up with the idea of Red having “a familycurse” that puts Agnes at risk. In this episode, asoldier gives up her child to get him out of harm’s way, but when the child presentswith an incurable disorder, she takes him from his adoptive parents, thencommits suicide to provide the donor heart needed to save his life. Witnessing this,Red remarks that “given the same circumstances, I’d like to think I’d beas brave as her. I know I’d wanna be.”

And then Tom dies, Liz endsup in a coma, and Red is left to take care of Agnes. If she is his, this 10-month period gives Red the perfect opportunity to finally confirm it and, asI mentioned above, have her tested for whatever disorder he knows he - and thus she too -carries. The timeline is always tricky on this show but by my rough estimateRed invested in Dr. Stark’s gene hacking research around the time he still had Agnes or not long after.

- [ S5B–present ] -

In this period, Red shouldalready have confirmation about paternity, about whether or not Agnes is atrisk, and Dr. Stark is already working on the cure for both. However, theskeleton and all the threats attached are still out there, circling them, and Liz is stillunder the impression that he is her father, which Red cannot push back againstif he is to keep his main secret secret.

We’ve seen how far he is willing to go tokeep his identity hidden, so letting Liz believe he is her father is really notall that out there for this guy. Only life-and-death situations can push him to reveal certain things, so it might be unruly genetics that will end up forcing his hand this time around. If Agnes needs treatment, that’s gonna be tricky to administer w/o somebody eventually noticing.

Red is still in a false role for now but its confines have weakened since he realized that Liz now knows he used to be someoneelse.

WhenLiz decides to go away for a while and entrusts Agnes to Scottie, Red questionsbut eventually goes along with her decision. “It was what youwanted,” he tells her later on. Even locked in his assumed role hecould have dug his heels in and claimed that he had a say in this matter, but he letLiz make the decisions and respected them. It carried way more risk to let her disappear alone than to let Scottie take Agnes, yet Red did not argue and did notrepeat the mistakes he made in S3B when things got so out of hand, Liz began toresent him and he was genuinely worried he was suffocating her. So he did what everybody toldhim to do in S4: he let her - and Agnes - go. And then she came back to him.

But for now, it is best if Agneshas safe distance from both him and Liz. In 520, Red told Jennifer that she was notabandoned but protected. That’s Agnes, too. Red may detest Scottie but he doesacknowledge that she is an excellent strategist with the skills, insight,motivation, and resources to keep the little girl safe. Shebelieves her to be her granddaughter, which - imo - in Red’s book ensures her loyaltyno matter how he feels about her otherwise. And in ep 512, we can see that Redknows exactly where Agnes is and, knowing him, he has his own invisiblemultilayered security web in place, monitoring everyone in Agnes’ life 24/7 and sendingdaily reports to him.

Whenhe and Liz observe Agnes from a distance at the end of the episode, the topic oftruth once again emerges, making it the third time that Agnes and talk of“the truth” co-occur: one is earlier in this episode (“If I misseven one more day with [Agnes] than is absolutely necessarybecause you’re not being completely honest��”)and the other is the cuckoo clock scene in S4. Red tells Liz heknows how hard this separation is and that they want the same thing here, whichechoes his remark in S4 about how they are in lockstep where Agnesis concerned. It also reminds me ofhis stunned reaction when Liz shares her fantasy with him in S3 (“I’mwalking in a park with my husband. Inbetween usis our little girl. I’mholding her hand in mine… and Inever let go.”). They do want the same thing and they are on the same page about Agnes, but everything else is still in disarray. For now, there is safetyin separation and keeping up appearances, even uncomfortable and painful ones.

In 514, Red gives us and Liz areminder when he points out that in the criminal underworld you can neverreveal how important someone is to you without making them an instant target. Theshow continues to provide examples of this specific danger, and the cases thatdirectly touch upon this topic “borrow” elements from Red’s situation: in518, Mosadek’s son is abducted by business associates because they suspect himof being an informant, and in 610, criminals attempt to extort money from a fatherwhose daughter was born premature with a condition to which there was no cureat the time, so the father came up with one.

Ep605 is extra curious because it features the story of a guy who never knew hisfather and only learned about his identity when he was unexpectedly summoned to the readingof his will. Van Ness was fighting an illness, too, and decided to change hiswill to include his only son that nobody even knew about. His last written message to himwas: “I loved your mother but didn’t have the courage to stay withher.” Van Ness’ seat and vote in an international criminal syndicate are also automaticallytransferred to his heir, making him a target for various reasons. It’s also a reminder of what kind of dangerous entanglements thechildren of international criminals have to deal with once their family ties arerevealed. In this episode, we also get a reminder from Aram that “in arelationship, the truth always comes out.” and Dembe continues toplead with Red to be honest with Liz, tell her the truth and leave the rest to fate. Red, however, stubbornly keeps his silence.

Theparallels btw Red/Liz and Samar/Aram also continue in S6, and what Samar tells Aram in 613has potential relevance to deciphering Red’s perspective and reasons for not speaking up about Agnes. Samar says that she made peace with the idea that she was never gonna havechildren (back in S3, she told Liz she picked career over family) but meeting Aram changed everything. After that, she wanted nothingmore than to try and balance the two, to build a family with him. But now that she knows she has anirreversible condition, she cannot raise a child, and she feels he deservesmore than what she can give.

Ifeel all these sentiments also play a role in how Red evaluates the possibilities of hisrelationship with Liz (even if Agnes is not his). His initial reaction to the baby was rejection,remarking that a child would make their difficult work infinitely harder. But then he changed his mind. In 319, he confessed that hewould give anything to be able to raise Agnes but he was also painfully aware of the factors preventing him from realizing this wish.“Your baby deserves more than we can provide,”Mr. Kaplan told Liz right at the moment she decided to separate her from Redfor good. This idea also emerges in 614, when Red notices Liz staring at thephoto of herself with Katarina, and tells her that the photo represented everythingKatarina wanted but couldn’t have after she became a hunted woman. Being a fugitive himself, Red facesthe exact same problem. And now he alsohas an illness to overcome, so him having the same attitude as Samar - i.e. writing himself off as notbeing a suitable match and accepting not being with “the one” - feels right on the mark, imo. Katarina also shared in this heartbreak where realReddington and their daughter were concerned. She, too, had to let go of what she really wanted.

bottom line (bc it’s time to wrap this up): everything that’s happened since Liz confronted Red with the pregnancynews has been discouraging him from “coming out” as Agnes’ father:

initial uncertainty regarding paternity

Liz’s growing resentment towards him that culminated in a faked death

Tom + Liz choosing him over and over again coupled w/ Red starting to accept that Tom somehow makes Liz happy while he only manages to bring pain and hardship into her life

the constant threats and Red’s growing worry that he might indeed be athreat to Agnes and Liz

the unexpected DNA report that was also the perfect cover

Red’s emerging health issues

Liz’s missing memories (without which how would he even begin to explain it or have any hope she will not freak completely or worse?)

But we are in a period now where there is tangible improvement regarding these main issues. Red now knows whether or not he’s Agnes’ father, so that uncertainty is gone. Tom is dead. Liz’s resentment subsided and she knows Red is an imposter yet loves him anyway and told him so. He also knows about Krilov’s 2nd interference that explains some of Liz’s behavior. His illnessis being treated, too. But the risks and threats in their lives still remain. For now they are mitigating this by staying away from Agnes, but if theimprovements hold, hopefully the time will come when this issue of paternity - along with some other questions - can be broughtforth and sorted between the two of them.

[moonbelt]

»the infinite possibility of us

↳   somewhat soulmate au | college au | lowkey lost-friends to lovers au

pairing » kim taehyung | reader

genre » soft angst + fluff + sexual themes + warlock!taehyung

word count » 14.787

author’s note » this was born out of a need to read something magical bc i am positively obssesed with soulmate aus

Let's get the first misconception out of the way: you are not a witch. Or at least you're not the most conventional one or one with any type of materializing and brewing powers and the whatnot. You do have some magical prowess, that cannot be disputed, but you cannot, in fact, fly on brooms, make actual use of frogs' feet or use a cauldron to prepare anything but regular plain store-bought soup. You can, however, see true love —soulmates if you will.

One touch with any body and you can envision can see decades down the line, maybe not even that far ahead, to when they'll meet The One they are destined for. The person that the stars and the universe have decided to attach to them for all eternity. It's a funny thing, love is. It's not supposed to be tangible. It is meant to be felt, breathed in, experienced and lived in, but you wouldn't really know that considering your ill-fated fate of having never fallen in love. Or rather your inability to.

It's like your organ is defective. You have the ability to see true love, the greatest of magic this world has to offer (at least this is what you tell yourself) and yet you can never seem to see any love like that for yourself. And sure, you believe that love comes in different forms. You love your family dog, Dex, you love your sisters, you love (the term is loose here) the supernatural. You love trees and the smell of rain. But the kind of love that cannonades through your entire body? Nah. You've seen it when you touch people and perceive the one they're going to be with. You understand it in their eyes and in their smiles in the few whatever seconds you get in the vision. But personally, you can't really explain it without cliché descriptions.

And look, you're not complaining. It's ah-mazing watching the people you match end up together and ride into the sunset, guaranteed to a lifetime of happiness and forever and lazy mornings together. It would be infamously weird, not to even mention horrendous, if a self-proclaimed love doctor doesn't believe in love at all. Truly, your heart infinitely swells just at the memory. And you love what you do. You see it as an obligation to use your gifted talent to help others even though there's no physical way you can help yourself.

It's a side effect of being able to see soulmates, you've since discovered. No matter how hard you run your palms across your arms, you see nothing. Blank space, endless oblivion, no love in sight. More often times than not, it leaves you in a bout of loneliness and the ever-present feeling that you'd end up alone. Imagine that. A matchmaker alone living with twenty-four dogs. Not that there's anything wrong with dogs but. . . It's the principle of the situation.

Think about the good things! You force yourself to remember your well-thought mantra instead of falling deep into the pit of never-ending why's. Once you fall into it, it takes a strong level of self-awareness to bring you back out.

Anyways, you're not a witch. No matter how long you hang around the Witchcraft practicing folk, you're always reminded about your shorthanded-ness. Your sister, Ionia, takes the head of the circle during this coven meeting (as she does in every gathering, she isthe leader so it's only natural.) Your family's coven (sans you) is made up of thirteen Wiccans, all who sit in the circle in the middle of the renovated "conference" room.

Really, it's just the living room with all the sofas pushed out to the edges, far enough not to disrupt any witchy stuff happening in the center but close enough that you and your other sister, Sara, can push them back into place once the meeting is over.

Today the topic is on determining if it is necessary, in the words of coven member Park Jimin, for magical folk to keep living under the radar of other species. Other species meaning regular non-magical humans. It's the most debated subject you've heard to date. Why must witches and other mystic beings hide from mere humans? The word mere used with insurmountable contempt and disdain.

You already know the answer Ionia is going to give in return. In fact, you could write a whole book on Ionia's stance on the matter. Although not all supernatural creatures are as righteous as your sister, Ionia truly has her moral compass hanging on her version of the good spectrum. And just like every other night, you are not allowed to partake in the discussion happening in place. You have a lot you want to say but alas, you cannot speak out of turn. That would be un-magical of you. If anyone gets that drift.

Being a seer of love gives you no brownie points in your family's line of outrageously strong witches. As it so happens, the witchy bloodline skipped you. It's taken years for you to come to with the fact that your parents weren't exactly expecting someone so... powerless. Their own kid no less. Just to be clear, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you predicting (with a hundred percent accuracy of course) another person's love. It isa good type of magic. Maybe not the kind of magic written in the grimoires and spell books littering your house, but it was a great magic nonetheless. You swear on it.

It doesn't matter what anyone says, you know your magic is enough. However, it is not enough to land you a say in Beyond Dark coven's politics. In fact, you're not even among the coven. You're more of an honorary member. Like you've made emphasis on before: you're not a witch, warlock, whatever. You're not it. You simply get a pass at being here since it's held in your living room and has been led by your family for centuries. And your sisters can't exactly kick you out once a week, you'll riot.

Another win for genetics! But you guess it could be worse. Imagine not being born with a speck of spectacular at all. Oh, the horror. You are glad the witches and warlocks in Beyond Dark don't go around wearing that absurd black pointed hat that a few other Wiccan folk have yet to dissolve from their attires. It makes it way easier to blend in. You're also happy that the meetings are held at your house. It gives you a good reason to be more than necessarily invested in witchy affairs.

"For the last time, Jimin," Ionia sighs out. It gets tiring, repeating the same explanation ever so often. "Our abilities are like every other thing; money, lust, power. They can be abused if used in the wrong situations and besides, we're not supposed to go around rubbing in our talents in humans faces. However great they may have been, look at what happened to our ancestors."

Ooh, she's pulling out the witch trial card. Ionia only ever does that when she's frustrated. Most times she likes to pretend that most of the founding witches and warlocks weren't murdered by conniving humans. It's like she's playing a game of erase-the-memory with herself because everyone else remembers it. The laws of witchcraft would never let anyone try to forget it. But Ionia does her damn best and you'll admit, she's pretty good at it too.

Jimin huffs back into the floor, his butt sinking deeper into the cushion pillow. He shouldn't feel too bad. Being a new member of the coven, he has no idea how things work. He'll come to learn that Beyond Dark, although unconventional in its ways, has certain traditions that have never been breached. Like the fact that the head of the coven has always hailed from your family —hence Ionia's leadership. And most times, what she says goes.

The meeting ends soon after that, Ionia promising to hold the next one the same time next week Thursday as usual. You're too busy silently pushing the couches back into place, listening in on the stray ending conversations of other people when there's a knock on the front door. Sara looks up at you as she drops a wooden table back into position near the TV. "You expecting anybody?"

Shaking your head, you release your grip from the back of a brown sofa. "No. You?"

"Nope." Sara turns to Ionia who's deep in a gesticulation match with warlock Namjoon, the somewhat vice leader of Beyond Dark. "Hello? Miss Leader?"

Sara gets a special kick out of annoying your eldest sister but you can't say it's not funny. Sara and Ionia are amazing witches and even amazingly more older sisters. There had been a time when you'd hoped your magic would grow exponentially enough so that you could be on the same league as them but, that never worked out. You would never be able to win in a physical fight with Ionia, so you stick to petty things like getting on each other's nerves.

Ionia rolls her eyes. Being the first born, she likes to have this air of nonchalance and reduce most fights to child play. Which it is. It's just fun child play and sometimes you wish Ionia would be able to see that. But all the magic in the world can't remove the stick up her ass, so there's that.

You go back to arranging the living room with Sara. The person at the door is obviously not for you. You're not allowed to have anyone over on Thursday nights. Coven meetings are serious business, even if half the time all they do is talk about failed experimentations with frog's skin or plain supernatural gossip.

You avoid coming in contact with anyone as you put back grimoires into shelves unless it's absolutely necessary. No reason to go on a trip of finding out their soulmate unless they explicitly ask you to. Especially when they're already dating someone. Fuck, that's the worst. They get positively angry when you tell them that what you see in your vision isn't the one they are currently with. You can handle being called a lot of words but a fraud isn't one of them. If there's anything in your life you can bank on, it's your abilities and right now your inner gut senses are going haywire telling you to raise your head up from the uninteresting journal entry about the dangers of Horned Wasps on a full moon.

Although your power isn't the greatest, other things considered, you don't go around hiding it. Any supernatural can take one look at you and know you have magic abilities just not enough. Word has gotten around the rumor mill that you are a "teller of love," their words not yours.

On a good day, you could get twelve requests to reaffirm someone's fears of never being alone. On a bad day, ten of those people leave you with more insults about you being more of a stupid whack than a love teller. Understandably so, you didjust tell them that their current partner was a no-go. Is there ever going to be a way to let down people easy? If there is, you don't know it.

It's when you place back the leather-bound book and scan around the room for anything amiss that you see him. Your eyes almost slide past him but, you stutter and then freeze in holy-hot-guy headlights. The second your eyes connect, hot stinging sensations zip line through your body, making your breath catch in your throat. The experience is so unnerving and not to mention unexpected, that all you can seem to do is only stand there, staring at him with your hand unsteadily raising to your chest where your heart is struggling to break free.

A current crackles between the two of you, effectively raising the hairs along your spine to prickly attention. Strangely, the guy has his mouth agape, staring back at you, as if he too feels this bizarre kick. Which must be inherently wrong; no one, regardless of gender, has ever gaped at you. And you've never felt this concrete emotion in your chest before with anyone. So yeah, maybe it's just that you happen to be staring at him and he just also happens to be staring at you too. The only problem is, he isn't turning away.

Even more, stranger is it feels as if you've known him for years. Which is ridiculous considering you can swear you'd remember if you'd met him before. Even though he does look vaguely familiar. A guy this beautiful can't be easily forgotten. And guys this gorgeous can't be easily hallucinated either.

You don't know why you feel this pull, but you don't like it. Nor do you like the way something inside you gives a little —almost illogical —delighted squeal, as if you've been mentally scanning for men and have just found the perfect one. Which again is ridiculous because it doesn't matter who it is. If you have to touch your crush and find out that they have someone at the end of the line that's not you, well let's just say, that's the ultimate buzzkill.

Moreover, he's not the type that you usually used to date. Not that you really have a type. You dated safe guys, guys who you knew weren't really invested in you. Which was fine. You weren't inherently devoted to them either.

But this particular guy might not be your normal type, but his eyes are so magnificently captivating that it makes you stall for a moment too long. You have no idea what color they are, you can't see from this far back, but they are a commanding pair beneath arched, dark brows. And even from your position, his long lashes are visible. Fates, those eyes are picturesque. And formidably daunting. You feel his stare slither through your body like a slow, hot stroke. And shit, he's staring at you like he knows you and like you should know him too. And now you're wondering why you're having a hard time deciphering how.

He's talking with Ionia and Namjoon and you know, you can feel it somewhere in your bones, that he is a warlock. A powerful one at that. The aura bathing around him is far from little and it is far from unused. For some reason, he missed this meeting and if the sly-apologetic smile gracing his face is anything to go by, he wants forgiveness.

You scoff, Ionia has a wand-shaped button wedged up her ass. There's no way she'll let him off the hook. Even if Namjoon persuades her too. That's just the way your sister is. So, imagine your shock when you see her smile back at him, give him a pat on the back, and then turn to the rest of the dwindled congregation and say:

"Everyone, this is our new coven member; Kim Taehyung."

From somewhere in your receded memory, you remember that Beyond Dark had been looking for a new witch to replace Ms. Orland who passed away a few weeks ago. Odd numbers are widely recognized as bad omen within the witchy community. Thirteen wiccans just isn't how the coven rolls. And here is the new materialized fourteenth member.

You'd been expecting an oldie to replace Ms. Orland. What's the saying? Old for old? What you hadn't been expecting is this. He's tall – not ridiculously so but you can tell that he has some giant blood mixing in his bloodstream. He has to at least be six foot four or more. He looks comfortably at ease with his skin and massive, broad shoulders yet perfectly proportioned muscles. And by Fate, he is gorgeous. Glinting brown eyes, chiseled features, sun-kissed skin. A dark green, backward baseball cap covers most of his light brown hair. It's on the longer side, you notice, with ends sticking out the back and tickling his collar.

As if he feels the strong emotion rising between the two of you, his cheek twitches. He takes one step forward into the center of the living room and flashes everyone in attendance a half-lopsided grin that can rival any type of paralyzing spell. And even though he's looking at everyone else, the goosebumps on your arms can't seem to calm the heck down.

"Hi," he says and you swear three witches die at his voice.

By Gods, his voice is a smooth luscious rumble that sends hot shivers zapping through you. You shoot your gaze downwards and stare at your converses as if they are the most interesting thing in the world. It doesn't matter how you feel. Whatever this thing is, is something concocted by your mind to play tricks on you. You've long since come to terms with the fact that having a relationship is out the cards. Oh, but did you try though. You'd tried the serial dating thing but it was kinda hard to kiss someone when the only thoughts swirling in your head were those of someone else. Ugh, someone drag you away from this pit before you get buried.

Like magnets, the few witches around gravitate towards him. Sara nudges your shoulder to get back to work and you grumble all the way as you do it. But even then, you can't shake the uncanny feeling in your chest that you've seen him before. Possibly a face in the crowd that you don't remember? No, worse. What if you've seen his face among the countless people you've come in contact with in your visions? A horrible impression sinks into your chest.

Not that its much effort, but you do your best to not cross eyes with him again. None of that jittery, knees buckling nonsense. You know better than to get invested. In fact, you should already be prepared to live life with your twenty-four dogs in solitude. You can hear his voice though, the charming timbre vibrating throughout the room. And you can't really focus on anything else.

"Do you remember him?" Sara breaks you out of your self-induced trance.

"Huh?"

She uses a thumb to point at Taehyung's general direction. "Him."

You shake your head and squint your eyes, confused. "Am I supposed to?"

"He can't be that forgettable." Sara runs her words in circles. "Doesn't his name ring any bells?"

"Ter, spit it out already."

Holding out her arms in surrender, your sister flops down on the soft cushion of the sofa. A deliriously mischievous smile lighting her lips. "He was our neighbor like ages ago. You know back when we lived in Mom & Dad's house? Tae and his older brother lived next to us. Oh, shit, you really don't remember? You had the biggest crush on him when you were, like, ten."

That's not possible. That's not absolutely fucking possible. You have stellar memory. While some people can forget what they had for breakfast a few hours ago, you could remember things in clear perfection. Well, not much of faces because you've seen far too many in one lifetime, but everything else? Heck yeah. You could remember the shape of the pizza you had on your eleventh birthday. A rectangular one. See? Flawless memory.

"No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did. You were ten. I was seventeen. I'm sure I have better recall of that, hmm?"

You roll your eyes. Sara is most definitely pulling your legs. There's no way you would have forgotten this crushof yours. And you use the term crush loosely. "Delusional much?"

She shrugs, black hair cascading down her shoulders at the action. "Anyways, Namjoon is Taehyung's brother's friend. Taehyung needs a new coven considering his last one got disbanded by internal disputes and well, voilà."

Here you are indeed. Your lips twist up into something snarky. "So, what? You want me to run to him and rekindle whatever misplaced crush I had?"

"Misplaced?"

"Obviously. I'm not destined to be with someone. He is. Whatever crush," you crook your pointer and middle fingers to emphasize on the word. "I had was stupid. It's not possible and I'm not playing a losing game."

Sara cocks her head to the side. "You still believe that?"

It's not like you have a choice. You refuse to give your heart to someone and then have it handed back to you bruised, battered and crushed. You believe in love, clearly. However, you don't believe in pushing fate. And if your fate is a life without the romantic type of love then... it sucks. But, you will learn to adapt. You have to learn to. Jealousy is an ugly thing and you don't want it feeding into your blood. Now if only your heart could get the memo a little quicker.

Searching for any kind of way to get out of this conversation where all your limits are being tested, you pull at the braided blue bracelet on your wrist. "You're in charge of dinner today. Are we having anything good?"

"Shit," Sara sits up straighter, and you know she completely forgot that today was her day to feed your meager trio of a family.

"Yeah, shit."

"I could order pizza?"

"Like what we had yesterday? And the day before that?" You tap your lower lip for emphasis and dramatics. "Oh! And the one prior to that too."

She reaches up and smacks your shoulder a little bit too hard and you wince but don't allow the smile slip off your face. "Shut up. Do you have something better in mind?"

For a bunch of spectacular witches, your sisters are hopelessly lost in the arts of cooking. You guess years of brewing potions could do that to you. Even with their age, burned toast is the best they can do. But you weren't exactly affluent in the cooking side of things either so you can't judge. Correction: you can't judge a lot.

"Yup," you grab your phone from your back pocket and check the time. Eight fifty-four. Nice. "Vee's is still open."

Sara's eyes start to mist with tears. "I could cry."

Honestly, you see where she's coming from. Food at Vee's could make anyone weepy by sheer amazedness alone. Vee's is a local restaurant that has a beautiful cuisine to match its equally unique name, but the main keeper though? It's open bright and early until sometime around one a.m., which is a blessing. Gods know how long these coven meetings run along for. You're not surprised with the amount of gossip they could talk about but you're so glad it's over earlier than usual.

"I'll get us take out." You offer solely based on the fact that you don't want to be in the same vicinity as the new warlock that's making his rounds talking to people. With this new information reeling in your brain, you don't want to be around him anymore. You're on a mission to deny, deny, and deny this connection to the grave.

"I love you," your sister says as she places an arm on your shoulder. "You're my favorite."

You laugh at that, checking your pockets for your wallet. "I'm always your favorite."

"As long as you don't tell Ionia."

"Don't tell me what?"

Sara makes a choking sound in the back of her throat that sends you into another fit of laughter. Ionia has materialized right behind her, arms across her chest and her face tilted to the side like she knows something the two of you don't. You do a mock salute to the two of them, excusing yourself from the sibling rivalry that's about to happen. "Bye!"

None of them stop you as Sara flies deep into trying to explain to your eldest sister that she meant absolutely nothingwrong with her statement. Ionia won't buy it, but whatever. You feel a pair of eyes digging deep into the side of your head but you will yourself to not look up and instead, sneak out from the front door. Well, not really sneak as much as you slink around bodies unnoticed except by this one person.

The night air is cool against your arms and you're thankful that it's almost winter. There's only so much humidity you can take. You nibble on your bottom lip as you begin the way to Vees.

Taehyung. Taehyung. Taehyung. Why on earth can't you remember him? Yeah, okay let's assume you believe your sister's revelation. You should be able to remember things that happened when you were ten. Heck, you recall a whole lot of things that happened when you were eleven. Your parents had fought in The Great Wiccan War and had sacrificed their lives, along with thousands of others, for the safety of the witches and warlocks at home. They fought against the hatred of other supernatural beings paired with influential humans that wanted the same magic, the same power. They wanted everything without actually being of witchcraft practicing folk. Ironic and disgusting at the same time.

You may not be a witch but the memory stings just as much. But now that you try to dig deeper into your valve of memories, nothing else pops up. Nada. Zilch. Empty. And the more you try, the more you start to feel a headache popping up. In fact, now that you're actually indulging, you realize that all your memories from then are fuzzy. The only reason you know your parents fought in the war is because your sisters told you... Now that you try to evoke a picture of your parents from memory, you find out that you can't. And the admission leaves you more disturbed than before.

The lights of Vee's bring you out of your reverie and you sigh in relief. Vee's has an old retro feeling that sinks into your bones and makes you love it the more you stand in it. And oh gods, the food. Good food to put you out of your sour mood and also, you hope, help you stop thinking about Kim Taehyung for more than godly normal. You take your usual place in a pale blue booth situated near the window and wait for someone to come over.

The place isn't fully packed but it isn't exactly empty either. People in their lonesome inhabiting too-big booths just like yourself. Ah, you wish Sara had come along with you, but then she'd talk your ears off... but then again that seems a lot better than being left alone in your thoughts. Your thoughts aren't being amicable tonight.

A girl with a high ponytail asks you if you want anything and after explaining to her with utmost care the way you take your coffee, she zips away with your order. You use the heels of your palms to rub your eyes. You are so not going to bed tonight. Your sisters can wait a few hours before dinner. If they get really hungry, they can order pizza. A win-win for everyone.

It's as you wait for your cup of caffeine that you hear the little ding of the door sound and against every feeling in the pit of your stomach, you look up.

Ah, the Fates are most certainly after you tonight.

You're not a firm believer in coincidences, but this has to be somewhat by chance because, in the past years, you've never come across him in this diner before. In fact, you've come across him twice today more than you've ever encountered him in ten years. His eyes scan the diner and light when he sees the person working behind the counter.

"Jungkook!" the grin on his face is wide.

Jungkook, you guess, looks up from his notepad and shoots him an equally wide smile. Gods, so much smiling is going around you feel your cheeks burning from the impacts already. "I thought you couldn't make it tonight?"

"Was in the area and thought I'll bless you with my beautiful face."

"Oh, that'sthe reason. Guess the triple-decker pancakes aren't a viable option?"

Taehyung barks out a laugh before responding with something witty yet apologetic at the same time. While you take a closer look at Jungkook and see it. The difference in magical abilities. He definitely isn't a warlock or anything of that caliber, but he looks about thisclose to being on the elf spectrum. Elves aren't tiny, you know this, and he undoubtedly isn't smallish-ly built. But the pointiness of his ears gives it away.

Like an intervention, your coffee finally makes an appearance. You thank the girl and manage to pull a smile as you take it. One sip. That's all you need to get through this bizarre night. You sink deeper into the booth's seat, willing yourself to banish with the air. Alas, that doesn't happen. Alas, Taehyung eyes meet yours in a colossal of moments.

You don't know why but you decide to glare, arching one brow in the same way Ionia does when she's peeved with something you've done. Having been on the receiving end of this look, you know firsthand about its effectiveness... On most people. This guy though? The barely veiled amusement in his eyes expands instead of contracting. In retaliation, he raises one of his own eyebrows. Taunting you.

This time he whispers something to Jungkook before making his way to you. You curl your fingers into a fist in a dire attempt to stop your body from squirming. You're not fazed by him. Not at all. Nope –

"__." His voice is low and steady and oh' how it blitzes your eardrums.

And then through the murkiness of your memories, it hits you square in the chest: this inaudibly amused, slightly introspective look, you've seen it before. In fact, you've seen it countless times. In your dreams maybe but in real life too. It's like watching a movie replay in your mind. Days spent behind a house in the backyard. Bandanas tied around your foreheads. Fuck, you've seen him before. Regardless of what Sara said, you believe her prior. You doknow him. Not in the same way though. The guy playing in the film in your mind is too young, too skinny, too short, too familiar. The guy in front of you now is a hundred ways different.

The glare slips off your face. Replaced by something indescribable because you're not sure what it even is. Luckily, he speaks again.

"Is this seat taken?"

Even if it was, you think you would have a hard time telling him no. You nod your head, not trusting your voice just yet. Smiling, he takes the seat opposite you, his frame eating up space. You pluck a menu from the side of the table and pretend to mull over your order. You know the whole menu like the palm of your hand, but that does nothing to deter you from staring at anything but his face.

Without looking up, you take a hasty sip of your coffee. "So, Taehyung," you air his name out for the first time. "It's been a while."

When he doesn't answer immediately, you pull your gaze up. His expression is guarded and you have the sudden urge to dive under the table and never be seen again. So much for trying to come off as cool, calm and collected. The three C's which you are not.

He blinks, dragging his focus from your lips to your eyes. "Tae."

"What?"

"My name," he clarifies. "I go by Tae."

"Ah," you fiddle with the corner of a laminated menu. "So, I'm not allowed to call you Taehyung? Is that only for friends or something?" It's a joke but you're not positive your delivery is executed properly.

He shakes his head but doesn't jest or twitch, just keeps his attention steady on your face. "Didn't mean it that way. If you want to call me Taehyung, then go for it." Before you can ask him why he had insisted on Tae in the first place, he cocks his head to the side and continues on. "I was under the impression that you'd forgotten me."

Holy-crapping-shit. "And what made you think that?"

"Sara."

"Bitch," you mutter on your breath. Of course, Sara would be the one to cast your dirty laundry out to dry. She probably told him all smug-like too. Ugh, you want to drink a sleepiness potion right about now. Just pass out for the rest of the day. But potions like that are ridiculously expensive... demand and supply and all that.

Taehyung laughs now. "Lovely vocabulary."

You shrug, for some reason feeling easier in your skin than before. "I take full credit."

"As you should. It's a hard thing having siblings."

Finally, an ally. "Tell me about it. If I had more powers, I'll challenge them to a duel or something."

At your statement, he furrows his eyebrows. "You're not a witch?"

"You can't tell? You can't see the insurmountable difference between your level and mine?" You don't intend to come off as insulted as you do, but this topic gets you on edge faster than any other.

Taehyung shakes his head, not sure how to approach this. "I mean I know you have magic but I didn't go around weighting it against anything.

Oh, how you wish the rest of the supernatural community were as open as him. You deny the butterflies cocooning to life inside your belly. You rake your teeth across your bottom lip, contemplating if you should just tell him. Then your ears burn as you realize you just brought his undivided attention to your mouth. Like some goddess of sexuality has possessed your body, your tongue snakes out and wets your lips. His gaze snaps to your mouth, and his eyes narrow.

Damn, you feel it again. That measured, heated sizzle fighting to burst out from your lungs. It's like the air around the two of you is charged. So impossibly electrocuted. This guy makes you wet with just one look and it's ridiculously unbecoming of you but you don't know to fight the feeling. Or rather, you're not sure you want to.

You flatten your hands against the table and force your body to cool. Is it just you, or is he a little bit closer? Close enough that you can see his eyes are a sharp shade of brown, lighter around his cornea before expanding out with a starburst pattern.

"I'm a matchmaker."

"A match... maker?"

"No, no. Matchmaker. Together. You've never heard of a matchmaker before?"

Tae leans back into the cushioning of the booth, his tongue poking the side of his cheek for a moment. "The type that can see true love?"

Pride blossoms in your chest and spreads to your cheeks. That's the only conceivable reason as to why you're now grinning like an idiot. "The one and only."

"Ooh," he says in admiration, clapping his hands together. "That's amazing."

"I aim to please." Crossing one leg over the other, you take a mock bow. You're enjoying yourself, which is a shock because you never thought you'd be this comfortable with someone other than family. You don't want to get ahead of yourself but a tingly buzz lights across your skin and your brain short-circuits before it can get the message.

"How does it work though? Can you look into someone's eyes and just tell?" Taehyung runs his fingertips across his jaw as he nods his head. "Like in That's So Raven except what you see is visualizations of their future lover?"

For a second you get caught up in the movement, in the strong line of his jaw and his long, nimble fingers. You can't remember ever thinking about guys' fingers in terms of sexiness before, but Taehyung —Tae — definitely has sexy fingers.

You shake your head, fighting the heat creeping up your body. In your life, you've never met someone that actually wants to know about what you can do. It's always been a that's-a-cool-story-but-not-really reaction. This is highly unexpected and you can't believe how easily drawn you are to this guy. He's virtually a stranger.

"That'd be cool. One touch," your fingers that are splayed on the tabletop are dangerously close to his that are interlocked together. If you shift just a breath away... "And I'll know."

Shit. You really don't know what the hell you're doing. Because it sounds a great deal like flirting to you. Instinct tells you that flirting with Kim Taehyung isn't something to do flippantly. And there's the fact that you know he's not the one for you. You know this, you know this, so why is your chest suddenly pounding a smidgen too loud?

You can tell that he wants you to find out about his soulmate but you don't want to. If you do then this, whatever this is, won't happen anymore. You'd be forced to crawl back into your shell and hope for something else – someone else. Somewhere deep in your bones, you know this feeling isn't going to come back. You didn't feel like this with any of the boys you dated in high school. You didn't feel it with Yoongi, your previous boyfriend that you parted with because you found his soulmate in the flesh. Nothing good is going to come out of testing the fire that is Kim Taehyung and yet, you can't stop yourself from diving in deeper.

"Anywhere?" He inquires, his voice as whispery as yours.

"Anywhere what?"

He licks his lips, leaning forward on the table with his elbow. "Do you have to touch a specific part of the body?"

You blink continuously. Is he... still flirting? You can't tell anymore. "I don't know. I haven't tried before. Usually, it's the arms."

His lips quirk up. "You should find out just how extensive your abilities are."

"Is this some spazzy way to get me to touch you?"

A hint of a dare flashes in his eyes. "There are a few other people in here. You could go ask them. But I figure since we know each other..."

"Barely."

"You'd rather ask a stranger?"

"You're assuming I really care that much." He's also assuming that he isn't as much as a stranger as everyone else in this diner.

His grin is blindingly white. "I know you're curious." His gaze flickers to your hands. "You're fiddling them with the want to know. You used to do that a lot when we were younger."

Huh, you didn't remember that. You honestly thought it was a habit you acquired sometime in high school. You smooth your fingers to prove a point and exhale roughly. He's watching you. Patient. Calculating. Tempting.

Your fingers clasp around your coffee mug and you down it all in one go. Fuck, where's the waitress? You haven't ordered anything substantial and you have a feeling in your gut that any moment from now it's going to growl loudly. Instead, you growl at him. You swear something else is possessing your body this night. You're never like...this. You are a sophisticated guru of love. That's what you are. So why, oh why, are you staring at him like you'd actually go through with what he's planning?

Your gaze flicks down from his eyes to his lips. His perfectly carved lips. You definitely want to know the feeling of his lips on yours. Wild and impossibly stupid. Taehyung must notice your diverted attention but instead of calling you out, he simply arcs an eyebrow at you. "C'mon then."

By Fates, Gods and every godlike being in the universe, this cheeky bastard is totally playing you. And here you are tumbling deep into his trap. Because you cannot look away from his face now. More specifically his lips, which are parted marginally. An innocent incitement? No. It's dare. A fucking dare.

Shit. You've never been exceptionally good at ignoring dares. No matter how shorthanded you are. You just keep pushing and pushing. A fatal flaw, you realize now.

Perhaps there truly is something unthinkably wrong with you because you slide out of your side of the booth and move over to his side before you can change your mind. Suddenly, your nose is inflamed with the scent of pinewood and mint and something else you can't pinpoint. You decide to claim that distinct smell as Tae.

One of his forearms is still placed on the silver table and your eyes lock on it. You hate that your hand trembles as you skim your fingers along his sinewy muscles. And you hate even more how loud your heart is beating. So loud that you can't even hear yourself breathe. Are you even breathing?

You're expecting to feel the burst of light that transports you into a vision but all you see is spazzing static. Like it's struggling to come to fruition. This... this isn't right. You should be able to see a thousand flashing pictures of him and his future beloved. How come all you're getting is unclear feedback? You almost draw back from shock. It's not possible that you can't see the end of his line, is it? What would that even mean? That he doesn't make it to the point where he meets his soulmate? Is his soulmate even alive? Your mind is racing for something to justify why everything looks so bleak behind your eyelids. But Taehyung remains perfectly still, his other arm nonchalantly draped on the edge of the booth behind you, his body turned toward yours. However, you don't miss the way his breathing shudders faintly.

Somewhere deep inside of you, you're desperate to show yourself that this thing between the two of you isn't possible. You need to see his soulmate. You need to be reminded that no matter what, he and you aren't on the same wavelength. Can never be on the same wavelength. Your hands rise from his skin and you hesitate, shy almost by what you want to do. Shit on ice. All you're going to do is touch a bit of his face. Why does it feel like you're about to rip a part of your soul and hand it to him in his palm like it's a corded silver platter?

Annoyed with yourself, you close the distance between your bodies.

You glance up at him and search through his eyes. He gives you nothing back. So, you rage on. Running your fingers up his jaw, across his cheek. Little fireflies spark at your touch, sending prickles of awareness over your skin, up your clothed thighs. You swallow hard and press your legs together. Can he tell? You're too apprehensive to check his eyes so, you keep your focus on his face.

This is a mistake. The air between the two of you is changing now, shifting to something tighter, closing in on your airways. A buzz hums through your bones, and his expression draws into something intense, his focus never waivers from yours. In this instant, you know him. You know him. All of him. You feel like you've known him your whole life like you've been anticipating for him to come back from wherever he has been.

Suddenly sensitive, your own lips part slightly. Somehow, your body has moved closer. You can't help yourself, dammit. You trace the bottom crook of his bottom lip with your forefinger.

Thunder of the Wicked Witch of the West, this is a grave mistake. Not only has your mind melted into a puddle of nothingness. You're getting an influx of information transmuting straight to your head. Befuddled memories suddenly coming out of years induced haze. You see Taehyung and you see someone else. You see them holding each other's arms, you see the look of pure adoration in his eyes. Fuck show me their face! But instead the fog clears, and you come back to the present.

In a daze, you feather your fingers across his lips again. The contrast between his soft yet firm mouth sends a bolt of pure, shocking want straight to your heart. You want to be that person in the vision. You've never felt this type of attachment with any of your previous requests. You've never felt the upending strings in your chest come undone. You've heard of intense connections, but you've never experienced one before... until now. There's no other word for what is happening in this moment. No other way to rationalize your actions. You follow the upper curve, and holy shit, you can't stop imagining his mouth moving over your skin.

You should stop. You are a pro-freaking-fessional. You should absolutely demonstrate some self-restraint. You tell yourself this even as you keep at tracing his mouth, the corners of it, his chin. Tae breathes lightly through his parted lips, and each exhale sends a little gust of soft heat over you.

You want him to push just a little bit closer and close the distance completely. But he won't. Not when his slim, slender hand has fallen to your hip, branding you, his fingers clasping in such a way that's a little possessive as it is protective.

Colorful city lights strobe in from the big paneled window, lighting Taehyung's face in a way that makes it turn to liquid gold. What the fuck am I doing here? Like some masochist, killing yourself slowly. You shouldn't be here, stealing the spotlight of someone else. But the idea of leaving is as dreadful as asking you to cast a reducio spell. Not happening.

You want to — no, you need — to feel more. And that need takes a mind of its own. Your whole body vibrates with a please, please, please as you feel his sharp intake of breath a nanosecond before your lips slowly graze his. Gods. Good gods, that's good. Actually no, the word to be used is phenomenal. His lips are silky-firm, lusciously smooth. You do it again, this time touching the corner of his mouth.

You press into his mouth, greedy, needy. You've never acted like this before. It's like some succubus of lust has taken control of your body and you can't do anything about it. Your thumbs bracket the corners of his face as you taste him. A small whimper sounds between the two of you. You don't know if you let it out or he did. There's no way it's you. You've never whimpered in your life. But then you make another one and fuck, it doesn't matter. You've become positively obsessed with his mouth, taking kiss after kiss.

His tongue dips inside and you swear you see stars dance and spark behind your eyelids. He groans as he uses a hand to tilt your head and deepen the kiss. His hand on your waist is like liquidized fire, searing your skin. Gods, this is bad. This is really bad. Kisses aren't supposed to be like this. You've done it countless times with countless people, but it has never affected you like this. The vibrations of his deep, low, almost feral moan send a throb through your body. Suddenly you want to knock the baseball cap off his head and run your hands through his hair. But before you can do so, you break apart for air.

And it's now, with the cool air-conditioned breeze of Vee's blowing over your glowing face that you realize where exactly you are. You all but jump ten feet in the air to get away from him. Taehyung isn't a warlock. NOPE. He has to be something else. Maybe an incubus? You're inhumanly mortified over the way you downright jumped Tae.

Another wave of embarrassment floods through you when you realize the stares of the other patrons inhabiting the diner.

Shit. It isn't never been your style to do public showings.

Slowly, oh' so slowly because the embarrassment™ is too much, you look up to catch his gaze. Unexpectedly though, his expression isn't smug. It's more thoughtful and a bit gentle. "So, what did you see?"

You're not sure you can remember. You're not sure you want to be honest and tell him you don't know. "Be honest, did you do all this simply for me to kiss you?"

"No." He refutes your question, but his focus drops to your throbbing lips. "Truthfully, I just wanted you to touch me."

His words leave you more breathless than the kiss and it takes you a long moment to get your brain up and running. You have no idea what to do with yourself. And now let's get another misconception out of the way: you love physical attraction (not that you have that much experience.) But you don't do this. You don't make out with guys who aren't at all your type. You don't kiss almost-perfect strangers. And you absolutely do not hit on a person that asks you to find their soulmate. That's just asking for tons and tons of awkwardness.

When you don't say anything in return, Taehyung sighs dejectedly. Like you just rejected him or something. But you're having a tough time coming to terms with everything. Taehyung's soulmate isn't you. At least, you're eighty-eight-point eighty-eight percent sure. You didn't get a clear view of the face, but it can't be you. You won't entertain the thought only to have it pulled under your feet later. But then, why the fuck is your heart beating so deafeningly loud that all these arguments swirling in your head no longer make any sense?

"I'll walk you home," Tae says quietly. Your face snaps to his, and he recoils. "And no, your sisters didn't ask me to do that." He glances at the window for a second. "This is all me."

"Okay."

Home sounds like a way better plan. The only problem is that you want to go alone and not have to face Tae any more than you already have. Sultriest kiss of your life or no, this is something you cannot do again. Kim Taehyung is dangerous to your convictions in many ways. And you know, you just know, that come what may, he can become an addiction if you take another taste of him. And we all know that's not something you genuinely want.

The local university prides itself on having extremely hard, very-possible to bring you to tears Math classes. So, it was staple reasoning that everyone came to class to pick out the best seats. Today, however, Ionia had needed you to drop some packaged stardust (store-bought glitter actually because stardust does not exist! No one has flown to the stars and survived long enough to crush one) to a delivery drop-off.

Your sisters' magical shop is the only thing connecting them to the human world and although more than everything they sell is authentic, sometimes clients just want the most inane things. Like who thinks stardust would actually give them supernatural tendencies? The supernaturals themselves don't even believe in stardust. Hard to believe in something that hasn't been proven or fact-checked.

You take a seat near the back of the class and pull out your notebook, pencils, and a calculator. You might hate math with every atom of your being, but you'll hate failing this class even more. The professor is running later than usual, and seats are filling up faster and faster. You begin twiddling with the edge of a ruled paper to pass the time.

"__?"

Jerking up your head so fast that dark spots dance in your vision for a hot second, you wonder if you heard wrong. Thinking it was the professor, you're ready to answer when you realize the voice that spoke was deeper, laced in an intrinsic feel of confidence and molten-syllables. The voice takes ahold of your spine, making it prickly straight and goose-bump museum-worthy. Surely the voice you'd heard couldn't possibly be the one it really was. No, Gods no, not him. He cannot be in this class. He wasn't here last week, but you also hadn't paid attention last week... or the week before that. Shit.

And even as these thoughts run wild in your brain, your traitorous body waves a yellow happy flag in the command center.

Preparing yourself, you turn and come face to face with your weekend tormentor, the best kisser of your life, your ex-childhood friend. Kim Taehyung. Of all the universities loitered around the city, of all the courses, of all the seats... this time there's no cap on his head, a black beanie takes that spot, but his wide brown eyes twinkle. There's a knowing humor in his gaze that it tugs a smile from the tips of your lips.

And you shouldn't be smiling. The last time you'd been in the same vicinity as him, you had practically mauled his lips with yours. Holy fuck. This is embarrassing as hell. You bite your tongue and will yourself to push all thoughts of kissing far, far away from your mind. You already spent all weekend trying to justify your actions to no avail. You can't spend the next fifty minutes doing the same thing.

"What are you doing here?" You ask, dropping the pencil from your grip.

"I'm in this class. Have been all semester. What are you doing here?"

Instead of replying to him verbally, you raise your Mathematics textbook up from the desk and show him. It's weird that you hadn't noticed him before. He stands out... in more ways than one. Everyone seems to gravitate towards him as if he's the center, even though the desk you're currently at is at the way back. Weird but not Tae doesn't seem to mind it. He flops into the free seat next to you and begins to slowly pull out his belongings.

This is the point you should apologize. You know this and yet you can't fight the words out. Like something is holding your vocal box tight and wouldn't let go. You clear your throat. You have to apologize and let him know that his soulmate is out there and there's a high chance it is not you. So, whatever this is needs to stop. It needs to stop before you embarrass yourself further.

"So, I was thinking," Tae is the first to break the silence. "How accurate are your visions?" When he sees the offended look on your face that's bound to be there because how dare he question your talents? He adds quickly. "Not that I won't believe whatever you say. I'm a mere warlock, after all, you're the real magic maker."

Not really but flattery gets him somewhere. You shrug your shoulders, attempting to calm the nervous feeling budding up your lungs. Your visions are more than accurate... when you actually get to see them. Taehyung is a whole new variety that you haven't seen before. And you've seen too many supernatural things for this to be such an issue. But here you are.

"Usually I'm a hundred percent sure, but with you, I'd say eighty something."

His eyebrows shoot up. "Eighty? Does that make me special?"

"A little. I think I need more time to... touch you."

Oh no that came out so wrong and your eyes widen when the full implications of your words register in your head. Did you just pose an innuendo to this guy? Holy shit, Sara was right when she told you last night that you were fucked. Clearly, you can't trust your lips to say anything meaningful if this is the kind of bullshit it spits out when it's in control.

You fumble to take your words back to whence they came. "I don't mean it like that. I mean, I do need to touch you, just not like that."

"Like what?" Tae asks, genuinely confused.

Take your vocal chords out and incinerate it. "Nothing."

He laughs, and it only reminds you that he has an amatory laugh. All at once, you want to go back to that night in the diner and stay in there for a while. You desperately want to go back to the time when you hadn't peered into his foreseeable future.

You wish you hadn't seen him paired up with someone else because you want this. You've never felt this before. Is this what you preach to the masses that come to your door? This overwhelming feeling that's threatening to tear through the butterflies beating in your chest? Maybe. You wouldn't know. But damn have you missed out.

"So, you didn't see anything? Not even a hand?" The laughter is still bubbling through his voice as he makes his inquiry.

"All I can say is that you have a soulmate. Somewhere out there, there's someone made just for you."

Taehyung nods his head, turning your statement over in his head. "Neat." He taps his neatly-cut fingers on the polished desk, creating a light rap sound. "What happens if this person isn't someone I want?"

Unintentionally, a scoff leaves your lips and you barely manage to not roll your eyes. "That's not going to happen."

"Okay. But if."

"If and only if, then I guess you get to do whatever you want. Fall in love with whoever, but they might not fall in love with you back."

"Isn't love supposed to be greater than that?"

Maybe. Possibly. Yes. But there's a system to this thing. The universe and the Fates decide who you end up with, although they couldn't be worried about the semantics of things. Of course, they've paired almost everyone up with someone else. They haven't paired you... yet. But as you've said: it's all semantics.

With a bustle of heavy panting and almost splayed papers, the professor finally makes an appearance in the classroom, walking in a straight bee-line to the front. "Sorry, sorry. Parking." He says as an excuse and a reprieve because every car-driving being on campus knows how hellish it is to find parking space at these hours and honestly, in general.

At the end of the time bracket, you take extra time with packing up, detergents have nothing on you with the way you clean off shaved rubber from your desk. A stupid giddiness flitters through you when you realize that Tae is waiting for you instead of charging out of the classroom.

So, what if the talk about the possibilities of love put you through a hard loop? You've heard of people rejecting their soulmate, but it doesn't add up. Why would someone do something fatal like that? For who? Who would ever be worth the risk?

It's when you're rising from your chair, one hand firmly placed on the desk that your fingers accidentally slide and brush against Tae's. The heat of his fingertips sends tiny fractures of awareness over your resolve. Maybe you don't know that much about love as you think you do.

You won't – can't– pretend there isn't attraction skittering between the two of you. And even though every bone in your body is telling you to let it go, you know your body and mind are not on the same page. Never have and probably never will.

"Are you busy after this?"

"Um," you wrack your head for anything you have yet to do but come up with nothing. "Not really. Why?"

You shouldn't be looking at his lips. Heck, maybe you shouldn't even trust yourself with just talking with him. Gods know how forgone you already are.

"There's a gig I'm playing in a few hours and..." You've never seen Tae get flustered before but holy the reddening of his cheeks is too cute too ignore. "If you're free then, I was wondering if you'd come?"

"You're in a band? That's illegal, you can't be both a warlock and a musician. It's unfair to humans."

Speaking of things, you shouldn't do, flirting with him is definitely Type A on the list. And another thing, Taehyung shouldn't be both cute and sexy, it's unfair on the bits of your soul that are being affected right now.

When he doesn't answer your pseudo-question, you grin. "Are you blushing, Tae?" You reach out and poke his cheek, all while he stretches out and catches your wrist safely between his fingers. The action is so fast that for a moment you forget to exhale.

Mathematically, you know time cannot freeze. Magically, you know Tae wouldn't have had the time to cast a time-stopping spell without you noticing. But forever it is worth, time completely stops. His liquid gold eyes scan your face before everything blurs out of focus.

In this foresight, you see Taehyung on a small stage, you have no prior knowledge of musical instruments, but you know that it's a bass guitar resting across his frame. And you see his smile, it's brightening by the second and it blitzes straight through your chest because he's aiming it at you. Or no, you don't know, he could be directing it at his soulmate somewhere in the crowd. But in this moment, it's you.

Hope sparks in your veins, something you hadn't given yourself the opportunity to believe in. And beneath your haze, you know he feels it too. You can see it in his lightning eyes and the swift beating of his heart against his chest. This is why you shouldn't touch, much less have kissed, Tae. Because now you can't stop rerunning it in your head. You know what he tastes like now. And what he tastes like is sweet, sweet addiction.

"So, what about it?" Taehyung asks in a low, vibrating voice. And he must sense your palpable confusion because he adds. "My band's performance. Will you be there?"

"Time and place. I'll be there." What's the harm in that? It's not like you're going to fall head over heels for him. You have more sense than that. You are a guru of love. You know everything, you tell yourself. And what this is, is deep infatuation and you can definitely chase the zings away with cold, cold, cold water.

Famous last words, right?

It feels like the grand inspection as your sisters and stable coven member, Hoseok, scrutinize your attire in the middle of the living room. Suddenly, you feel highly inadequate in your ripped black jeans, turtleneck sweater, and coat. You think you look good, but the looks of horror on Ionia and Sara's face beg to differ.

"You can't possibly want to go meet the love of your life in this," Sara's voice borders on disappointment and disgust.

"I mean, the jacket is kinda cute." Hoseok raises a flag in your defense.

Ionia spurts out a laugh at that remark, effectively tearing the flag to pieces. "I could lend you my halter top? You know the gold one?"

You love your family and your friend, you truly do. You'd take on a winged fire dragon for them. But you can't believe you set yourself up for this interrogation. Asking them to help you get ready for this non-date, was a disaster ready to happen. And there's no one to blame but you for wanting extra validation.

Biting your tongue to prevent a snarky statement that'll only cause this conversation to drag out longer, you calm yourself by exhaling a deep breath. "It's winter, dearest sister. Unless you want me back in a body bag, let me wear this jacket in peace," then you swivel your attention to the other hawk in the room. "And Sara, please for the love of everything, Tae isn't the love of—"

Ionia cuts through your monologue. "It's September!" Just as Sara wiggles her eyebrows goofily. "Tae, huh. Guess you guys are closer than I thought."

Instead of deigning either comment with a response, you turn around and grab your phone and keys from the sofa, safely tucking them in the back pocket of your jeans before glancing back at the trio. You pity for Hoseok who got dragged into staying with them as they practice new incognito spells.

"Have fun babysitting them, Hobi," you call out, raising a fisted palm to your chest in salute. "I pray for your safety."

Hoseok chuckles even as he uses a hand to reciprocate your salute. "I can handle it."

You make it a pointed effort to not say your goodbyes to your sisters before running out of the house. It's a fifteen-minute walk to the bar that Taehyung's band is playing at and you want to be there deathly on time. Not because you want to see his face again so quickly, of course not, but rather because this is what good friends do. Or at least what they should.

You are going to go there and be the most supportive person in the crowd. You vow on it. You'll be good. You wouldn't dare to wish for things you can't attain again. You'll allow the fates to work their magic on whoever that's meant for Tae. If it happens to not be you, then...

"Oh, fuck it." You say aloud, dunking your cold fingers in the pockets of your navy-blue coat.

Continuing the route to the bar in the silence of your mind, you realize that your brain actually does know how to shut up, just when it's on its own terms. And you guess, neither your head nor your heart wants to think about the possibility of you and Tae getting together. Sadly, because the probability is so low that it feels like your wishing on a goddamn star for a miracle.

You reach there faster than you anticipate with ample time before Taehyung's group is scheduled to go on stage and now you wonder if it's okay for you to just walk in? Well, of course, it should be. But what if he's busy entertaining his fans? You find it hard to picture him without any. With his killer smile and rumbling voice, it would be hard not to fall. You rub your palms together in a bid to warm them up faster but also to stall the inevitable meeting. You pace outside the bar, wondering if it's possible to cancel now.

Something bumps into your shoulder and you almost topple over from the impact but fortunately, someone catches you by your forearms, keeping you upright and saving your face from an impromptu make out with the cemented floor. It's a brief moment but you're thankful for wearing a coat today. Nothing worse than having a moment of seeing their love life in the middle of the pathway.

The first thing you notice about the person that caught you is the impish point of his ears and then the floppy coffee-colored hair on his forehead. You're in the process of thanking him and apologizing for putting him in this situation when he lets out a loud surprised sound from deep in his throat. You swear it sounds like a squeal.

"You're that lady from the diner!" He sounds excited for some reason, so you look up from your boot-clad feet and focus on his face.

"What?"

"Vee's," he says. "I work there. And your friend, well I guess our friend, Taehyung was with you the other day... Unless I have the wrong person. Then, I am so sorry for this inconvenience." He looks completely mortified at the possibility of this happening.

The corner of your lip lifts up as your mind remembers him. "Yeah, I guess that's me. My name's __. by the way. You're Jungkook, right?"

He nods as his face brightens up like he was a switch that can be so easily accessed. His smile puts you at ease though, at least you know someone in what seems to be a mass of people if your peeking through the glass door is anything to swear by.

"Oh, you haven't seen Taehyung tonight, have you?" Jungkook asks as he pulls the bar door open and lets the smell of alcohol, perfume, and other unidentified scents weave their way to where you stand.

Shaking your head, you drag your palms against the rough pattern of your jeans before you walk into the loud bar. People are everywhere and its impossibly hard to find any free space. You're about this close to breaking away and walking back home but then you remember that Jungkook is right behind you and he'll most likely snitch you out to Taehyung when he gets the chance.

You sigh out as Jungkook takes a step beside you. You scan his outfit and notice the black muscle tank top that he has on and then you notice the glittery glint of three silver earrings dropping from his left ear.

Before you can scan any lower, he bends his head a little. "We go on in about ten minutes." He chortles out above a whisper but a decibel lower than the chatter around the two of you.

"We?" Your eyebrows dance across your forehead.

"Of course." He shoots you a grin that is supposed to be heart-melting, and it is. Just not in the same way Taehyung's affect you. Now you wonder if this is how it's going to be; you consistently comparing everyone else to Taehyung. "I'm the drummer after all."

"That's so cool."

"I know," Jungkook mock bows at your compliment. "Anyways, I have to get backstage or else I owe the rest of the band lunch for a month." He gags at the prospect before he's waving at you and weaving his way through the horde of people. People stop and stare as he jogs past, they move away and create a river just for him to pass by and then they regroup into clusters and squeal and gossip about him.

It's an odd thing to notice but he doesn't look the least affected by it. But now you feel like the only sober person in this bar. You bite your lip as you keep your head down and scramble for a good position to see the stage.

There's a real problem though. The place is packed so full that you have to stand at the back just to be able to breathe. But there's so much anticipation swelling in your veins at just the thought of getting to hear him perform. You fold your arms across your chest, waiting for anything to happen. And its when you're not paying acute attention, fiddling with apps on your phone, that the screams of other people jolt you into the present.

The chants are loud and deafening and overpower the anxious feeling in your chest. And then as your eyes are filtering across the stage, they connect with his. It should be impossible for him to be able to see you all the way from where he stands in the center. It should be impossible for him to even know where you are in this colossal of bodies. But his gaze is unwavering and the knowing smirk gracing his face is anything short of accidental.

You check around your surroundings for anyone that he could be looking at but there's no one that looks anything other than a fan or a casual drinker. You peer up at him, this time holding his gaze with your own and his smile breaks forth. It lights a galaxy inside you.

"Hello everybody, I hope everyone has been having a good night so far," he starts. He looks across the crowd in front of him as they scream for him before he checks back on you. "We've been working on a few songs since the last time you saw us and quite honestly I'm a little bit nervous to perform it in front of you guys tonight."

One of his bandmates, a fair-headed lanky boy rolls his eyes at his statement and like telepathy, Taehyung laughs into the mic. "Lemme guess, Yoongi just rolled his eyes right now." Yoongi rolls his eyes again but smiles as he turns around to tune his guitar.

You're blown away by the level of comradery they have. All four of them. Jungkook is behind the drum set, blowing kisses to the girls up front and distracting them from Tae's speech. The one behind the keyboard looks mightily model-like in nature. With a piercing gaze and soft breached smile, he looks into the crowd with a relaxed ambiance.

"As usual we have JK on the drums, Jin on keyboard," Jin bows and waves and you put a palm to your chest to prevent its palpitations. He's ridiculously pretty. "Yoongi doing whatever the hell he does with that guitar." His statement earns a laugh from everyone listening, including you. Yoongi himself doesn't find it as hilarious though, he scrunches his nose and shakes his head. "I'm Taehyung and thank you for coming out to listen to Indie Magic Tendencies."

He throws one last toothy smile into the audience, rubbing his palms together before then grabbing the mic with two hands. "Before I forget, today's performance is dedicated to a special friend of mine in the crowd right now."

An electric wire grapples around your chest, forcing you to stand up straight and cease breathing as he continues, this time with his focus on you. It's like he's calling you out. "I'm not trying to bend your beliefs or go against what you think the world wants. But sometimes two people have to really, really, want each other to be for the universe to listen."

You're not present as Jungkook reaches up and grabs his mic to say, "and here's our song: let me." You're not present as the slow and even smoother voice of Taehyung and Jin slithers into the ears of the patrons in the bar. You don't even notice as the loud cheers of the fans decrease into a low mumble as if they too are holding their breath. You can't make sense of anything going on around you in this moment because of the insanely loud thump of your heart as it struggles to beat in your chest.

You'd become dismissive of the idea of love in relations to you. It's awfully hilarious that you are realizing this now, with the one person you would love to spend forever with in front of you. You've hidden behind this notion that the Fates decide everything. And although the Fates, in all their gloriousness, mean no harm. Why does it have to be you? You've seen countless people that did not stick to your assigned pairings that go on to have rewarding lives with each other. Even though you are right, you are also wrong?

Why do you have so much love to give but nothing to receive? Why do you have to be the only abiding by rules that no one else sees? Why do you have to be graceful and accept this stalemate that has been placed upon you?

Everyone — witches and warlords, elves and faeries, vampires, and lycanthropes – they all believe in this innate magic. Magic that sprouts from the trees like water before spraying into the air. Magic that swims far deep within you and drowns out everything. You've been taught to only reach for things that are given to you. Never step outside your jurisdiction. You are not a witch. You don't have a mass of reserved magic. What you have is fleeting. One touch one memory. It's not fixed. You shouldn't wish for more. Shouldn't long for it either.

And for a while, you've been completely fine with it. It's not like someone had shot through your axis and shaken your atmosphere before. Taehyung's arrival has shown you the other side that you haven't been attuned to. This unreasonable want for something — someone. And the unbearable need to attain.

You bite your lip and slink deeper into the shadows, hoping that for whatever its worth, Taehyung doesn't have excellent eyesight because you're this sure that your myriad of conflicting emotions is highlighted in bold across your face.

Pulling out your phone from your coat pocket, you open the messages app and do what any other sane person would do in this situation. You text Sara.

Can I ask you something?

Her reply is almost instantaneous. Shoot.

What's your take on the whole Taehyung situation?

Lmao. You hear her laughter ringing in your ears. What situation? According to you, there's nothing there. Remember? All that "I'm destined to never find love" bs you were talking about?

You want to burn. Actually, no. You want to hide. Forget about that. This is serious, okay! I really like him. It's weird and I've never felt this way about anything, absolutely nothing. And I know he likes me too, it's just... ugh.

Sara: Okay relax. First of all, liking him is good. Him liking you back is a bonus, be happy!

Typing a fast response, you prod the inside of your cheek with your tongue. You're not helping at all.

Sara: Hahaha, well you haven't told me what to exactly help with so....

It's obvious. He has a soulmate out there and I don't. What about ten years down the line and he finds them and suddenly I'm like a discarded chew toy. I don't want that.

Sara: fuck that noise. Soulmates are just people, __. You think you just find someone and immediately want to be with them because some god told you so? Heck, no. you like Taehyung, right? You just have to figure out how much you like him. And I'm not saying your abilities are whack or wrong, but sometimes you just know, you know. You know who you wanna to be with and who knows? Maybe the fates will listen. Idk

You try not to laugh at the irony of her and Taehyung saying essentially the same thing. This is a serious conversation and you shouldn't be laughing but the irony isn't lost on you. You turn off your phone before dunking it back into your pocket. Sara's right; fuck that noise. You're gonna do it. You're going to walk up to him once he finishes sweating up that stage with his sexy as sin voice and mad good guitar skills and tell him –

There's a loud ping! as your phone chimes with a new message. Reaching into your pocket, you see the new text Sara has sent you.

There are a gazillion people in the universe. You've met a thousand and then some extra since the day you were born. But there's only one person that you can connect with on a deep, natural level... there's only one Kim Taehyung. And if it's him? Why do you have to settle for someone else?

It's almost fitting that as you see the shining behind the puzzle maze, the crowd cheers in a deep mix of squeals and cries as Indie Magical Tendencies wrap up their set for the night. Jungkook has taken Taehyung's previous position and is thanking the crowd for coming out. Grinning wide and eyes shining brighter. And then you're frantically searching the stage for Taehyung but he's not there anymore.

Your confidence is waning. This is a bad idea. Your testing fate. It's never gonna work out anyway. You're going to be disappointed in a few months when everything turns lackluster and boring and you'd wish you had listened to your head instead of your heart.

Then suddenly, he's in front of you, as if you conjured him up from thin air. You know that's not the case but it's nice to believe. He opens his mouth to say something you'll never know because you beat him to it faster.

"I need to talk to you." The too-full establishment makes it hard to hear yourself so you add, a little bit louder this time. "Let's go outside."

He hears you and soon his long fingers are searing into your skin as they wrap around your wrist and lead you out the back door. You don't pay attention to the looks, or the sighs, or the gasps. You're focusing your energy on trying to see his soulmate and still, you see nothing but static. It doesn't matter anyway, you realize, you're about the most selfish person on the planet. Or at least that what you think.

Outside is colder as the night has finally settled but it doesn't feel as bad with him next to you. The back of the bar is a dumpster heaven but at least its quiet and you can hear the loud badump! of Tae's heart, it's rivaling yours. You lean against the brick of the building, needing the extra support.

You start. "I-I intended to listen to your voice tonight, but it really was nothing but an intention because I couldn't listen."

His fingers release your arm as he raises them to his chest in faux hurt. "Yikes, my voice isn't that bad –"

"Your voice is amazing!" You are quick to say. "It's because of what you said earlier. This — everything, is new to me. I've never felt like this for anyone."

"Neither have I."

"But you're you," incredulity laces your tone. "There's no way you haven't. You're cool and calm and a wizard that knows how to play the fucking guitar and sing and you're beautiful. Like insanely. You could projectile vomit on someone and they'll thank you."

He laughs at your wordy compliment. "Sure, it's possible that other people have felt that way about me. But I can't remember ever falling so hard for someone else before."

"What about soulmates and the future and..." your voice is weak, your resolve weaker and he capitalizes on that.

"When you touch me you don't see anything, do you?"

Your breath stutters in your throat and you choke on it which pushes you into a coughing fit. Ah shit, this is embarrassing as hell. Taehyung is kind of laughing at you, kind of looking concerned for your wellbeing until the last of the cough wheezes past your lips. You curl your fingers at your side as you look up at him. You take nervously calming breathes to gain your voice back.

"I don't. I see you laughing, and I see that you're happy, but I don't see th—"

"Exactly! To say or even think that one can or should wait for their entire existence for this soulmate to come around is an oxymoron, an impossibility. People eventually always get sick of waiting. I'll probably get sick of waiting. No one waits forever for someone they don't even know."

"But—" Your admonishment is shallow on your lips.

"I choose you."

He says the words with such confidence that it leaves you flustered, and with your brain desperately searching for something to say. But all that leaves you with is your mouth opening and closing before remaining agape. Your body is heating up, you don't know to calm down. You don't want to.

"What if you had a soulmate?" You are fighting the expansion of your cheeks because he's looking at you like this whole situation is funny and maybe it is. You're fishing for comments and he accepts the bait.

"I don't care," Tae says. "I would have found you again. I would have done something. I don't know, conjured up some daemon from the netherworld and sold my soul." He has a way with words, even the most terrifying thing doesn't sound so bad when it leaves his lips.

You think this to be the end of his spiel, but Tae doesn't stop there. It's as if he's trying to convince you with every bone in his body that there is magic between the two of you and he doesn't want to stand around doing nothing when he can so clearly feel it.

"And what about soulmates? What do you think my chances are of finding a shared soul in this hell of a universe? What if I've already met them but didn't do anything about it because I was banking on a particular trigger I don't feel? I'll be fortunate if I can find just one person who'll be able to put up with me for the rest of eternity.

"Only twice in my life have I ever felt this inexplicable, nearly transcendental pull to a person. But it wasn't two, it was only one. It's only been you. I don't know what's happened to make your memories of our childhood befuddled, but that doesn't even matter. In the end, I want to make it work with you. I want to take you out on dates, I want to learn what makes you laugh the hardest, I want to be with you, __. But if you truly do not feel the same as me, I'll go. I'll find that soulmate, that's not supposed to be you, and hope, whatever happens, happens for the best."

His face is deathly close to yours, breath fanning against your heating cheeks. His words have the ability to break you undone but put you back together again and again. You should be selfish. Here he is in front of you, pouring his beliefs and soul and you should too. You don't have to hide behind barricades you placed for yourself. You want him. You want to experience this. You—

"Okay."

"Okay?" His eyebrows crunch, a lithe smile appears.

You nod your head vigorously. "Okay! Let's do it. Fuck the fates. I want you too. And you'll be sorely mistaken if you think, or if they think, I'll stand here and aide you in leaving me. I can't explain it either, but I feel it. It's not something I can express."

"It's not something you have to express. You either know or you don't."

"You're right." You agree. "I also know that now that we've cleared all that up, I'm a hundred percent down with making out with you right now. Just putting that out there. You know, if you were, uh, wondering."    

"Really?" Taehyung asks, moving closer to you till you're backed up hard against the wall. "You want to kiss me in the back of semi-smelly pub?"

You shrug your shoulders as Taehyung reaches up with his fingers and caresses your cheek. He has really sexy fingers you notice for the millionth time. "Can't you do some hocus pocus spell and do some invisibility cloak or something? I mean, you're a warlock."

"Hm, I could do all of that. But that's going to take like, what, three minutes? I could just take up your offer and," he bends his head low and places feathers with his lips all across your jawline. Little fledglings of heat spark up from his touch. But then the tips of his sweaty hair tickle your cheek and you pull back in laughter.

"You know what?" He has his arms wrapped around your waist and a confused pout on his lips. "We should restart." Taehyung nods his head agreeing. "Yeah, I should probably take you out on a proper date before I get handsy."

"We literally kissed the first day we met each other."

"But that was for an experiment. A hot one. But an experiment no less. That doesn't count as our first kiss."

You laugh as the two of you break apart and you stare up at him as you try to regain your breath. He looks ethereal and you wonder how you look in his eyes. You reach up with your fingers and push his hair back so that it doesn't tickle your face again and then you push up and place your lips firmly against his.

There's no all-consuming fire that melts your bones in one sweep. Instead, there are high definition images screening through your mind showcasing the two of you. Together. You see yourself and you see him and you see bits of your life in between. And you look happy. You look deliriously so. Taehyung maneuvers your body closer and you get lost in him. Your thoughts scatter and you forget your own name but the feel of Taehyung's concrete chest against your own, with his own heart beating out of sync places a smile on your face.

Breaking apart from him is a challenge that you don't want to complete if not for the nagging in your lungs for air. Your mind is frazzled, your face heated and your chest full.

"I saw your soulmate."

"Yeah?" He whispers out. "I already know who it is."

You giggle. "You do?"

"Of course. I can see it on your face," he pauses then nods his head once. "It's you."

a/n » this was long and im very thankful to everyone who reads this and i hope you really enjoyed it bc i had so much fun writing it! :) thank you so so much for reading >.<

⇢ masterlist

©️ 2018 kai, moonbelt [aka high-on-food]

[reviewkpop]

UNLOCK by DAY6

tl;dr, I don’t remember where I was when this first came out because I was on a break from kpop social media but, however, I do remember where I was when I first listened to I Just (the only song to ever exist), as it was an extremely transformative experience for me. This is such a well-rounded, clear, diverse album that keeps Day6′s usual style while adding extra juicy elements for the more hard-rock inspired Japanese market. 

Vara’s rating: ✭✭✭✭✭ 

without further ado here’s why I love ever single song on this album, written like ive been imprisoned inside stan twitter for 5 years and can’t get out unless i review this album

Live Your Life: day6 japanese songs hit differently they really do. this one is an a1 prime rib example. the rolling drum (?) woosh sound right before the chorus is so sos os nice and all of the parts of this song are different feeling but still fit together completely seamlessly as expected. LISTEN, HOW THEY HAVE A GUITAR SOLO? WITH THE WOAHHHs at EVERY chorus. jae’s guitar is the backbone of this album and our society as you will read about further on if you ever get to my review of i just…….. and this song is NO different. also the lyrics are so pure. thank u kings of confidence. i gotta also talk about the outro to this song its so fucking beautiful. all the voices singing together is such a chef kiss mwah

Breaking Down: ive seen a lot of ppl (more than i expected?) cite this song as their fave day6 song and i mean valid. its day6’s harder rock side.. its reminds me a lot of how can i say and its very very good if thats your thing. also everytime mr k does the IM BREAKING DOWWN live its . very lovely thank you. its so so angsty i can feel the angst for miles with this one. when jae says “hearts never break the same” mkmfdnjgajk. yeah. this is one of the songs where u think its over but it ISNT!!!!!!! the guitar muting in the bridge fake outro whatever is so delicious i am a sucker for a good guitar muting rhythm technique can someone pls tell me what thats called im illiterate anyways it STARTS UP AGAIN the hecking guitar solo….. ladies and gentlemen…..

Stop the Rain: instrumental wise, this is a really really fun song… the scale up and down or whatever it is with synth + guitar in the verses and at the end of the chorus… very spicy indeed. i honestly think wonpil is the star of the show in this one bc its a really not aggressive but beat heavy?? song and wonpils softer voice really contrasts it nicely i think. i also love love LOVe the second verse with the minimal instrumental (of course i do) and then it goes into guitar solo mode.. i feel liek this album more than any other day6 album goes the hardest with the guitar solos thank you jae. also this song has wooaahs. guitar solo ✅, instrumental space ✅, woaaaahs ✅ but theres no guitar muting we’re almost there..

Say Hello: this song makes me smile. the punchy guitars, bubbly drums, wait actually the first time wonpil says “my girl” i teared up a little ouch…….. :((((((((((((((( so cute…. the bright lil woo ooooh ooohs in the chorus SO cute… its such a dreamy song and the lyrics are so nostalgic feeling its such a sweet song in general its abt like letting go but finding peace with it and wishing the other person well and its a really beautiful meaning. omg its like the opposite to hi hello njsdfdnkj theory?????

Everybody Rock: we are now in the ROCK zone everybody now . now COME ON keep it going now !!!!!!! 1 2 3 go!!!!! i absolutely adore the way the guitars fade out in the verses when the vocal lines start and its just a lil bass a lil drum. if theres one thing i love more than guitar muting its silence in music.. it really really makes songs great when theres some space left over i truly believe that. anyways this song has both thank u kings. jae’s prechorus with differnet members joining in is so nice as it gradually builds up more and more. extra important detail all the lives i can find of this they look like theyre having so much fun. also dowoon….. i truly believe i can be a rockstar bc of him. im in tears. the ending just lets it all sink in the extra 8 bars or whatever of extra instrumental very very nice addition thank you

I Just: i am truly sorry in advance for this im not gonna stop talking. musically,, this song is pretty simple (except for the guitar in the chorus, i’ll get there) but tonally, vibe-wise, on the feel good scale, this song is a 35 million absolutely fucking fantastic song. i love this song perhaps a little too much. i would like to speak briefly on jae’s guitar fill. if i could name my firstborn child after a sound byte it would be that one and you all know it very well. if i ever meet jae im gonna personally thank him for this and ask if i can get his guitar’s autograph. the fact the guitar gets louder in the last chorus with the vocals overtop of it too yum.. this song makes me miss a lover i nevr had or something but also feel like im falling in love and rolling down a grassy hill and staring into a sunset at the same time its like every single possible positive emotion for me. THE HEYYYY AHHHS . make me so inexplicably happy i love them with all my heart. ALSO you know how i said i love silence this song has it too!!!!!!!! with the faded guitar right before the last instrumental break !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also again not to be a young k stan but u know i need to plug the 18125 i just nagoya young k fancam its in my genetics i will not apologize. he looks so happy i love . i listen to this song on a daily basis and you cannot stop me from doing so. if i get cloned and u have to figure out which charlie is the real one see which ones heartbeat starts getting faster by hearing the guitar riff then youll know.

Nobody Knows: the beginning of this song is the true modern mona lisa. i could listen to the guitar and drum before any vocals hit forever i am not gonna lie. this really reminds me of old 5sos in a way and i really like it.. gives me a lot of nostalgia from being a 14 year old (no i’m not a 5sos stan but listen to their new album it’s really good). absolutely very fun but probably also really sad if the lyric “please i dont wanna cry” says anything … yep ok. i forgot how much i love the bridge of the song listening to it now its really different to the rest of it its so so nice. very very good. i dont listen to this one as much as some from the album but i still love it a lot,, theres something about it thats a little haunting in a good way its like that buzzfeed unsolved episode where the ghost named apple tater visits them.

Falling: this song gets you because you think its gonna be a full soft ballad but it still has a rock heavy influence! this album is a LOT of more hard or classic sounding rock and i really like the direction they took it in! can i please talk about the bass riff RIGHT before the end of the verse its those little extra bits that are added in that make a song so much better and thats prime example. I’m not the biggest fan of the chorus of this song for some reason i feel like theres a little bit of something missing but the haunting synth that kicks in and gets more prominent all the way through the song is very very nice and adds to the whole acoustic rock (somehow??? they have the Range) vibe.

If ~また逢えたら～: this song was their debut japanese song and she has a very special place in my heart. it reminds me of a very specific time in my life. also its a fun one bc i always try to guess whether its the instrumental or the original version when it comes on shuffle (i have both saved lol). i love love LOVe the guitar at the between vocal lines in the chorus its so fucking juicy… you know what else we have is rapper k which as u know i go crazy over.. the instrumental version is young ks rap karaoke version. very very good. i think this passage from my old review of this (if you know, you know) sums it up ladies: and i honestly think youngks rap part just brings the song back to day6′s style!! like i dont think many other bands would have brought it down to that u know??? and i love it…. the instrumental in this is also so crunch !! its so aggressive but like the type of aggressive that snowstorms are on a weekday… bc they basically just showed up without warning, rendered us immobile,, but all in all we’re PUMPED that it happened.

Baby, it’s okay: this song is not my favourite song of day6’s, i think it’s lacking in some oomph for my ears, HOWEVER !! and this is a big however I really love the bridge and the lyrics and that makes up for it. also the “i want you to be happy” and “ill always be here for you” is so adorable truly.

anyways we all know this day6 has no bad songs, unlock is no exception.

- vara