#because Disney has lost their way of committing to a sincerely evil villain for real since eons ago apparently

[indygotcha]

After long observation, this is all I can think with how much Disney fumbled Magnifico and what we really ended up getting

[xanadontit]

The full run down, for those so inclined.

MIL: Let’s just start here because sure. About .5 seconds after we walked in the door, she asked if Santa was bringing me a new car. Apparently E told her mine is kind of dying and I’ve been looking (Side note: I have asked him not to share stuff like this with her because then she fixates and will have opinions on how I’m spending MY money. Also plz don’t @ me, yes I own a car and will trade it in and get another one. Everyone hates car people until they need a ride!). By Santa she means if E is surprising me and I joked that Santa isn’t bringing me one, but I plan to test drive a few in January and hopefully pull the trigger soon; I also said something about it being my money because I’m a jerk and I hate that I make almost as much as E and she assumes everything I have is because he’s my benefactor. Then she launched into a story about how my FIL somehow led her to believe he was getting her a car for Christmas and then didn’t and then she cried when she realized he was messing with her and he thought it was funny. No idea why those crazy kids couldn’t make it work. Like, how do you even respond to something like this that happened well over 25 years ago?

While playing game and just kind of making polite conversation, MIL turns to me and says, “You didn’t have to stay at a hotel.” I was thrown because this came out of nowhere and said, “Well, we are and it’s fine!” cheerfully as she then launched into why it wasn’t OK and the plan she had laid out (which involved Niece 1 staying 30 minutes away at her boyfriend’s house - her plan was to kick her granddaughter out of her room/home so she could take her room and have E and me sleep in MIL’s room). I looked at E to jump in and he said, “We’re staying at a hotel. No one is giving up a room. It’s done.” No setting his mom straight that this wasn’t my evil plot or scheme. That’s when I got a “You hurt my feelings.” 

MIL is very critical of her only sister who is an absolute train wreck, sure, but not terribly different from MIL - just more husbands. MIL said something about her sister always needing a man and declared that she has no desire to date and all she needs now are her children. I pointed out to E that means she’s relying on him and SIL to provide her emotional support because she’s alienated all of her friends when she was with her garbage ex. Have fun with that, guys!

While opening gifts she reiterated she doesn’t care what I think or if I am hurt, and she’ll do whatever she likes when it comes to her kids, even if that means I’m left out. I lost it and looked at my nieces and said, “Well, if I ever die mysteriously we know who did it.” MIL laughed. She also told me if I don’t want the perfume she gave me then SIL will take it. Uh, ok?

She likes the cop and thinks Niece 1 seems really happy. Ugh. Get better taste in men.

SIL: The stress of living with her mom is real and while I feel for her, I’m pissed that she just lets her walk around saying awful shit to her and her daughters and that her attitude toward me is “Suck it up.” There’s just zero desire to have an honest conversation and say “This is hurtful” and give MIL a chance to apologize or think about how her words affect people. It’s super fucked up. And E told me last night that when he called her to let her know we’d stay at a hotel her response was a “What did I do wrong?” So she’s turning into her mom. Good work.

Niece 1: Wasn’t quite as sulky as our last visit but Jesus she and Mashed Potatoes (my nickname for the cop) are so fucking loud. It’s just constant hollering and there’s never a sincere conversation. The best way I can describe it is like a Disney kids’ tv show where everyone is constantly speaking in sarcastic tones and trying to be funny but it isn’t. At all. It’s exhausting.

Mashed Potatoes: He shaved the mustache so he looks slightly less creepy but he’s a cop so I don’t care if he’s Chris Evans’ doppelganger: not a fan!

Niece 2: Jesus Christ with this one. I texted @amaraaaaaaaaaaa about the sin I committed of showing interest in her life which resulted in her storming off during Christmas Eve dinner. Apparently any talk of the future is stressing her out and I wasn’t supposed to ask about graduation, her thoughts on a credential program and/or master’s program, or mention the idea of her eventually moving out. MIL is visibly distressed Niece 2 isn’t seriously dating anyone and has encouraged her to settle with any guy who owns a house. This is her standard for a quality man: owns a house. Sure. 

E: Swears up and down that he told his mom about the hotel and explained it was for everyone’s comfort. I told him I need him to explicitly tell his mom that he wants to stay at a hotel, too, and not leave room for her to speak to me in a shitty way. It’s unfair that I am painted as a villain because one of her children dared to grow up and doesn’t want to pretend he’s 8 and stay with mommy. He agrees she’s completely out of line and was feeling pretty done but that doesn’t help. I expect us to be a united front and a team. Sitting there while she’s obnoxious, then agreeing with me privately isn’t helpful.

Thanks to all of you for the support and snark - it’s nice to know someone somewhere out there likes me!