#because apparently by flirting and kissing em all I haven’t been committing enough

[pearlsdiamondsandvodka]

I’ll be honest with you gang, if I waited for blades 2 for three years and I can’t even be poly I’ll riot !!

[captainsimagines]

Kill ‘Em With Kindness - PART FIVE

 Bucky Barnes x Reader

    You had been detected. You were now on their radar.  You were recruited for one mission only.  You’re trained and put to the test.  With your background, everyone realizes it was a mistake recruiting a college student who would soon be faced with the thing that drove her to kill in the first place.

Warnings: swearing

Word Count: 3,777

“You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen… I want to ruin you.”

“You’re too late.”

PART FIVE

A/N: If it wasn’t obvious already, I based this series off the acoustic version of Selena Gomez’s song “Kill ‘Em With Kindness”.  ACOUSTIC.  I don’t know, I just heard the song playing in a scene that’s going to break ya’ll hearts lol. ENJOY!

    A week.  It’s been week since you had been on lockdown and weren’t allowed to step foot out of the facility unless it was for your morning runs.  Even then, guards watched your every move to make sure you didn’t run off.  You attempted to flirt with one of the guards to get through, but Steve interrupted and dragged you by your ear back inside.  The rest of the team didn’t let you live that down and occasionally, Sam would grab Peter by the ear and reenact the whole thing.

    The middle of the night was your solitude, however; the tapping from across your room always making you squeal silently.  It had been years since you spoke to someone you were so infatuated with.  The last time you had kissed anyone was before the incident.  You hadn’t love anyone since, either.

    To say this feeling inside your chest frightened you was the understatement of the century.  You had built this reputation for yourself.  Like Natasha had said before: “Love is for children.”

    And maybe it was.  It was only a chemical imbalance.  For years you told yourself that explanation. You just never believed it.

    In the mornings, you would wait silently in the kitchen while you brewed some coffee.  Bucky was always the first one down considering you and him never got much sleep.  You would begin adding sugar and creamer into his coffee once his heavy footsteps could be heard down the hall.  He would smile, you would smile, and you’d drink your coffees in silence.  

    In the afternoons, you would train with Natasha while Bucky trained with Steve.  Natasha would ask you questions about your childhood to get you to talk and because you were so fond of her, you would answer truthfully.

    “How old are you?” “21.”

    “When was your first kiss?” “14.”

    “What’s your favorite movie?” “Titanic.” “Really?” “Shut up.”

    “What are your hobbies?” “I paint.” “What do you paint?” “People.”

    “Can you paint me?” “No.”

    “When did you lose your virginity?” “Still got it.” “Woah, seriously?” “Not a big deal.”

    “What was your sister like?”

    You cleared your throat and looked at Natasha for a long time.  She didn’t take back her question, instead leaning against the third dummy you two were destroying.  Her smile was contagious.

     “She’s more energetic than me, that’s for sure,” you answered.  She smirked, satisfied with the response.  It was your turn to ask questions.

    “What’s your favorite movie?” “The Great Gatsby.” “Which one?” “The original.”

     After a few more rounds and new tricks, you sat on the bench and chugged your water.

    “You know, you could always come join me for dinner in my room,” you told Natasha.  She chuckled and unwrapped the tape from her hand.

    “That’s sweet, but dinner time is reserved for Wanda.”

    Biting down on your bottle cap, you smiled and made sure to not show your red cheeks. ____________________

    Around dinner time, you would kindly request your food be brought up to your room.

    Bucky ate with the team, however.  He would sit in between Steve and Sam, joining in the conversations once in a while.  No one really started a conversation with him unless it was about an upcoming mission.  Steve would lean over and talk to Bucky for a few minutes and then go back to the group. Once he felt he had spoken to group enough, Steve turned his attention back to Bucky.

    Bucky noticed this, of course.  He was grateful.  He was just lonely.  The number of times he thought about picking up his plate and heading to your room were countless, and today he almost did just that.  But he didn’t.  

    Instead, the person who joined you today was Peter.  He ate at the edge of your bed while you laid back on your pillows.  Similar to yours and Natasha’s conversations, he would ask you a million questions and forget to breathe.  You answered every single time.  The kid was too cute to leave hanging.

     When you were done eating, Peter would whip out his phone and read you conspiracy theories, show you funny YouTube videos, and even catch you up the Star Wars movies you never watched.  Before he could rant more about his favorite topics, you stopped him.

    “Why do you come and eat with me?  There’s a room full of Avengers down there.”

    Peter chuckled and picked up your plate along with his.  “I’m like that kid that gets to sit at the adult table but not join the conversations cause I’m somehow still too young to understand.”  

     You laughed and thanked him for your little hangout.  After he left, you would lay back try to nap.  A good twenty minutes would pass and you’d give up.  

    In the evenings, you would listen to Bucky turn on the shower and stay in there for twenty minutes.  You heard him brush his hair, brush his teeth, hang his clothes, and throw all the pillows to the floor before climbing into bed.  

     At night, you would listen to Bucky grunt and leave his room, heading for the kitchen.  For the past week, you contemplated whether to follow him.  Today was certainly the day.

     Wrapping a gray cardigan around your tank top and shorts, you descended the flight of stairs and caught Bucky foraging through the fridge.  You giggled quietly, your eyes widening from the sound you made.  

     Bucky heard it, though.  He turned around confused for a moment but he smiled when he saw you, his eyes crinkling.

     “Couldn’t sleep?” he asked.  He opened the box containing the leftover chocolate cake from dinner.  

    “Nope,” you replied, making your way to a stool and grabbing a plate yourself.

     Bucky cut you a slice of cake as well and pushed the box to the side.  He handed you a fork and smiled widely again.  Your stomach fluttered.

    “Nightmares?” he asked. You shook your head.

    “Just haven’t closed my eyes, yet.”

    He nodded.  You were sat at one end of the counter while he stood and leaned across from you.  Two feet separating your faces.

    “So, what do you think this mission is for? Apparently, I’m so important,” you remarked, taking a bite of your cake.  Bucky looked down to cut his cake and shrugged his shoulders.

    “Heard it’s in Germany,” Bucky said.  You hummed.  You watched his metal arm hold the fork and guide it to his mouth.  

    “Can I ask you a question now?”  You didn’t wait for him to say ‘yes’ and instead you continued.  “Do you feel anything with that arm?”

    Bucky laughed while taking a bite, and spoke while chewing. “Out of all the questions you could have asked about this arm, that’s the one you pick?  If I can move it, there’s much more I can do or feel with it.”

    You raised your eyebrow at this and bit your lip.

    “Dirty minded,” Bucky pointed his fork at you, accusing you of thinking about the numerous sins he could commit with those metal fingers. You had to admit that was on your mind.

    “What? Me?” You lay your right hand over your chest, mouth open dramatically.  Bucky’s eyes brightened.  Seeing you joke around was a blessing and it was a privilege to experience it.

    You finished your slices of cake at the same time, leaving them in the sink for someone else to deal with washing them. “We’re the worst kind of people.”

    Bucky’s statement made you a giggling mess.  Each sound vibrating from your chest only caused Bucky’s eyes to stare at you in extra adoration.  

    This night surprised you because you could literally feel each of your walls breaking.  Although this was terrifying, you knew it was about time.  Why not knock them down with someone who could potentially ruin your life?

    “So, what’s up with you and Natasha?” Bucky teased.  You raised your eyebrows and teased right back.

    “Why? You wanna join?”

    Bucky blushed and hung his head.  You continued giggling, “What’s up with you and Steve?”  Bucky knocked your shoulder with his when you said that.  The playful nature between the two of you becoming more natural by the second.

    “She challenges me,” you replied.  Bucky nodded and his response made you choke on your own spit.

     “Well, me and Steve are fucking so…”

    You covered your mouth to keep from howling, the laugh erupting from your throat anyways before you could catch it.  Bucky laughed loudly at your reaction. The two of you did not care if you woke anyone at this moment- it was too damn fun. You clutched at your chest and hugged your cardigan close, watching as Bucky wiped a stray tear from his right eye.

     “I like it when you don’t cover your mouth when you laugh,” he admitted.  You turned away before Bucky could catch your cheeks turning a shade of pink.  He caught it, though- he caught everything.

    “I don’t,” you said.  Bucky was confused and asked why not.

    You shrugged your shoulders, “If you like it so much, so will the others.  I don’t want to get attached.”

    Bucky only stared at you, your response scaring the devil out of him.  He wanted attachment.  After seventy years of being frozen and tortured, attachment didn’t sound so bad.

    “Trust me, Y/N… After the mission, you aren’t going anywhere.”  Your breath hitched.  You knew Bucky didn’t mean this as a threat, but it still worried you.  What were you going to do? Become an Avenger?  You didn’t ask for that.

    Bucky walked you up the stairs and to your rooms, his eyes leaving you only when he typed in the code to access his room.

    You smiled, kissed his cheek, and punched in your code also.  He entered his room and you had an overwhelming urge to make sure he got in there safely. ____________

    The second you opened your bedroom door in the morning, you were startled by the dozens of men and women rushing through the hallway with decorations and boxes.  You looked over to Bucky’s door to see it still closed.  Assuming he was still asleep, you went down to the kitchen to brew the coffee.  You kept an eye on everyone rushing around.

    You collided with an object, or someone, because you weren’t paying attention.  Looking up to see that someone, you were met with the blue eyes of Steve Rogers.

    “Woah, there,” he held your shoulders in place and chuckled lightly.  You gave him a small smile before you made your way around him.

    “Um, would you like some coffee?” you asked him.  He was surprised you were talking to someone other than Bucky, Natasha, or Peter.  Everyone knew this.  Natasha was the one you hung out with mostly, Peter followed you because no one else would talk to him, and Bucky… well, Steve knew Bucky had a slight crush on you.  In the past week, you had made mild small talk with Wanda when she asked what you were studying in school.  Vision only bowed his head towards you when you passed.  Tony hadn’t spoken to you since he challenged you and took away your schooling.  You didn’t mind, though.  Thor and Bruce, well, they would ask how your day was and you would reciprocate.

     Steve took the cup from your hands and sat in the stool in front of you.  Prepare for small talk.

    “How are you liking it here?” Steve asked.  You set your cup down and stared blankly at him.  He chuckled and took a sip of his coffee.  “Right, sorry.”

    You sighed, “It’s fine.  I made friends.”

    “Ah, that’s right.  Bucky told me,” Steve said.  Your ears rose and you hoped he would continue speaking.

    “Wh-what about?” you stuttered.  Cursing yourself, you covered it up by sipping your coffee.  

    “I’m not throwing my friend under the bus,” Steve said.  You rolled your eyes.

    “With that comment, you just did.”

    With that, Bucky entered wiping his face and stopping when he saw there was already somebody accompanying you.  

    “What are you doing up at 5:30 in the morning?” Bucky asked Steve, taking the cup of coffee you offered.

    “Early run,” Steve answered.  

    “What’s up with all the decorations?” you finally asked.  Bucky pointed at you and nodded towards Steve, wanting the answer as well.

    “Tony’s hosting a party that every employee is required to go to,” he said.  You furrowed your eyebrows and asked why he was hosting a party in the middle of a crisis.

    Steve laughed, “It’s a set-up.  It’ll be like any normal party Tony hosts but employee I.D’s will be scanned and when one doesn’t add up, we’ll know who planted those cameras in your room.”

    The realization hit you at that moment.  “You mean the person who hacked this building has been roaming the halls for the past week?”  Your voice was rising and Bucky made a hand gesture to tell you to lower your voice.  You glared at him and continued speaking.  “Is Tony serious?”

    Steve sighed but continued to reply in a gentle manner.  “We’re so sorry about that.  But believe us when we say that we will protect you and find out why you were so important to them.”

    “I’ve said it before- I can protect myself,” you snapped, putting down your cup and marching back to your room.  Just like that, your morning coffee with Bucky was ruined. ______________

     At six in the evening, Natasha and Wanda knocked on your door to ask what you were planning on wearing to Tony’s party.  

     “Is it that important?” you asked them.  Wanda only giggled and Natasha was too busy rummaging through your closet.

     “What the hell, Y/N?  When were you going to let me borrow this?” Natasha gasped, pulling out a tight, blood red dress from your closet.  It had thin straps and made it down to the middle of your knee.  It was an elegant fit, complimenting every curve of your body.

    “I wear that on special occasions,” you said.  

    “Oh, and what might those occasions be?” Natasha gaped.

    “Office hours.”

    Natasha dropped the dress and Wanda dropped her phone, both staring at you in disbelief.

    “I’m kidding.  I haven’t even worn it,” you corrected.  Wanda burst out laughing and Natasha chuckled, picking up the dress and handing it to you.  

    “Red is your color,” Natasha mentioned.

    You shrugged, “You should see me in forest green.”

    Natasha smiled and showed you and Wanda the cream-colored dress she was planning to wear.  Seeing them so giddy was becoming too much for you and you excused yourself to go into your bathroom.  You shut the door and breathed in slowly.  You missed it.  You missed getting ready and doing your make-up with Lucy.  You missed Lucy.  

    Collecting yourself quickly, you cleaned the sides of your eyes and plugged in your hair curler.  You opened the door and allowed the girls in to do their make-up in the bathroom.  You weren’t going to make a scene.   ________________

    Upon entering the crowd, the three of you stole everyone’s attention.  With Wanda in a blue cocktail dress, Natasha in her cream-colored dress, and you sporting dark brown lipstick instead of your usual red- you gained everyone’s attention.  You literally stole the show.

    You would have much rather been struggling to sleep than waiting in an endless line to get scanned into the party.  It wasn’t so horrible, though.  Besides the company of Natasha and Wanda, Sam and Peter were standing behind you.  While waiting, you five carried on a conversation that began to annoy the people around you. 

    “Why are you even here?” you turned to Peter, still recovering from the joke Sam just told.  Peter blushed and rubbed his chin.

    “Um, Mr. Stark wanted me here,” Peter answered.  You nodded.  Tony wanted everyone here because it was uncertain if anything was going to go down tonight.  

     “Where’s your Aunt?” Sam asked him.  Peter punched Sam’s arm and rolled his eyes.

     “She said she would arrive a little later that way I could hang with my friends alone,” Peter replied.  That had the whole group laughing like schoolchildren.  You were certain the red in Peter’s cheeks matched your dress.

     It took twenty more minutes before you were scanned in and you went straight to the bar.  You ordered whiskey and watched as the bartender hesitated to make it for you.  You didn’t drink and the first drink that came to mind was a hard one.  

    You took a sip and clenched your throat.  Can’t go back now.

     “Wow, you look amazing.”

     You turned around and met Bucky’s eyes.  The air in your lungs halted and your face noticeably brightened up.  He was dressed in the cliché black and white tux but you weren’t bothered. ��Honestly, Bucky could have come in a tank top and basketball shorts and you would still consider him the hottest man in the room.

     “So do you,” you said, scanning him up and down.

    “Your lips aren’t red,” Bucky noticed.  He was also taking in your appearance- red dress, beige heels, brown eyeshadow and brown lipstick.  You were an absolute doll. 

   You smiled, “Your hair isn’t in your face.”  Bucky had pinned his hair back for the event, showing off his magnificent facial features to everyone blessed enough to witness them.  

    “Nope,” Bucky popped the ‘p’.  You took another sip of your whiskey and held it out to him.  He thanked you and drank the rest of it. You smirked and grabbed his hand to lead him towards the dance floor.  The slow song playing at the moment prompted you to wrap your arms around his neck and him to place his hands on your hips.  You both swayed to the rhythm, staring at each other.  

    “Did Tony find anything?” you broke the silence.  Bucky was disappointed you changed the subject, but he followed you anyways.

     “Not yet,” Bucky replied.  You closed your eyes and relished the moment: Bucky’s hands were heading lower, his breath was close, and his body warmth was addictive.  You slowly opened your eyes and found Bucky looking down at your lips.  The flutter in your stomach had been crawling up to your heart every time you even looked at the man in front of you.  No matter how terrifying this was, you shoved the complaints to the back of your head.  You deserved to be happy.

     “C’mon,” you turned and dragged Bucky through the crowd and to the balcony.  The fresh air hit your face and you didn’t realize just how hot it was in there.  With Bucky trailing behind, you went to the edge and grabbed the railing.

     “Tired of the party already? You just got in,” Bucky joked.  You smiled but agreed with him nonetheless.  This was better- much better.  

     “Are you happy?” you asked.  The question was out of the blue, obviously startling Bucky. He watched your face and noticed that behind your blank expression, your eyes were screaming.

     “Sometimes,” he said.  You turned towards the city, getting lost in the lights.

     “Are you?”

     “Fuck no,” you claimed.  You didn’t tear your gaze away from the towers in the distance.  Bucky remained quiet for a while but asked you another question.  This question haunted your dreams whenever you got some sleep.

    “Do you think she’s alive?” Bucky asked.  Your eyes teared up, the lights now becoming blurry and duplicating fireworks.

     You turned to Bucky and replied, “I’d much rather her be dead than tortured.”  

    “Oh,” Bucky quietly commented.  You were silent for a few moments until you realized what you just said.

    “Bucky, I didn’t mean it like that,” you tried to explain.

    “No, I get it.  I’m sure Steve was wishing the same thing and when I turned out to be alive, it absolutely crushed him,” Bucky said.  Your face fell and you stared at Bucky with a look of sympathy.  You didn’t mean to ruin the moment.  

     “I’m sorry,” you started but Bucky interrupted you.

    “It’s okay.”

     You two stood at the edge of the balcony for a couple more minutes before you decided to speak or tapped out on the railing.

    “.-- .... .- - / -.. --- / -.-- --- ..- / .-- .- -. - / - --- / -.. --- ..--..” What do you want to do?

    Bucky’s eyes brightened for the hundredth time that night and he turned to you with the biggest smile.  “Morse code, really? We’re right in front of each other.”

    You laughed and hid your face behind your hands.  You felt Bucky’s hands remove yours from your face and hold them between the two of you.  You were going to make the first move.  Removing your hands from his grip, you cupped his cheeks and planted a sweet kiss to his lips.  Bucky responded almost immediately, dipping his head down slightly to angle himself better.  His metal index finger raised your chin up and his flesh hand remained on your hip.  

     The kiss was gentle yet wary, neither of you wanting to rush it.  With a small squeeze to your side, Bucky provoked entrance into your mouth, swallowing your small gasp.  He tasted like honey and whiskey, his flavor coating your tainted brown lips.  You were certain your lipstick was smudged all over him, so you gave one final tug at his bottom lip and let go.  Foreheads resting on each other, the two of you knew you were in too deep at this point. 

   You looked at him and sighed, your right hand still cupping his cheek. You spoke first.

      “You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen... I want to ruin you.”

     “You’re too late.”

     The others were watching your interaction from the bar, each more surprised than the other.  

     “Told you.  You owe me 50 bucks, Wilson,” Natasha held her hand out.  Sam huffed and handed her a crisp 50-dollar bill.  

    “The two quietest and grumpiest people in this place end up together.  Figures,” Bruce chuckled.  While the others continued to chat, Peter stared at you and Bucky with delight.  All this week he had tried to make you smile.  When you detached from Bucky, the smile you donned filled Peter’s heart with pride and happiness.  With everyone occupied, Peter snaked his hand behind the bar and grabbed a beer, rushing off with it and donning a smile of his own. 

  When the party died down, Bucky walked you to your rooms.  Instead of opening your own door, you pushed passed Bucky and took off your heels by his door.  He watched you relax, grabbing a T-shirt from his closet and tossing it towards you.  He turned around while you changed, neither of you speaking.  You laid in his bed and snuggled into his sheets.  Bucky removed his clothing as well and got comfortable, taking the couch once again.  He didn’t mind it.  He didn’t mind your sudden admittance of wanting to ruin him. He didn’t mind at all.

it’s gonna get better guys, I just gotta create the relationship first lol.  Let me know what you think!

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