#and anyway this makes sense and I’ll have no objections but I appreciate thoughts

[pearlsdiamondsandvodka]

I’ll be honest with you gang, if I waited for blades 2 for three years and I can’t even be poly I’ll riot !!

[jacksgreysays]

Extremely late, completely unnecessary opinion of the Watcher situation, (2024-04-24)

So this is a relatively belated post — several days after the initial “Goodbye Youtube” and one day after the “An Update” videos — and surely by this point there are more interesting/insightful op-eds (both in written form and video form, especially penguinz0’s fairly objective POV as, essentially, a YouTube expert) but there is something about the Watcher situation that made my brain itch. Thus, I wanted to write about it in order to make sense of it all as well as get into a philosophy that seems to be haunting me in recent years and which I think applies greatly here.

This may seem completely out of left field considering 1) definitely not fanfiction and 2) about Watcher Entertainment, a YouTube channel which—as far as this tumblr is concerned—I’ve not engaged with whatsoever, but I don’t know where else I would put this, and weirdly enough I think the general tumblr response to this whole predicament is maybe the… if not objective… then at least, most thoughtful?—or, perhaps, least immediately reactive?—amongst the various social media platforms, that I think some people might appreciate this anyway.

In terms of my relevant background: I majored in Management Science (which is just a fancy way of saying Economics + Business + Accounting because they are, weirdly enough, separate things) and minored in Film Studies in school, I am currently working in the stage tech industry (which, I know, is obviously different from film/video industry), and I like to think I am a fan/consumer of a wide variety of independent creators, some of whom I am lucky enough to be able to afford being a patron/subscriber. I won’t go into all of them—because it is a lot—but there are four in particular whose business models I want to analyze in comparison to Watcher’s admitted blunder:

A) RocketJump (known for Video Game High School and Anime Crimes Division; the core group which turned into the podcast Story Break, then became Dungeons and Daddies) B) Dropout (formerly College Humor, we’ll get into their discography later) C) Drawfee (previously an offshoot of College Humor, now fully independent) D) Corridor Digital (used to be mostly behind the scenes of how VFX studios work, have since become a mostly original content creator)

I will say, right off the bat, I am a patron of Drawfee as well as Dungeons and Daddies, and I am a subscriber to Dropout. I am not subscribed to Corridor Digital’s streamer, which I will get into why later. I understand that being able to sustain those two patronages and one subscription is a luxury that not everyone can afford and so my point of view is already skewed by being such a person who could theoretically afford another streaming service if I so chose. I also acknowledge that many fans of Watcher are not in similarly financially secure places as I am and that regardless of the business model, any monetization that comes from fans would have been a rough ask. However, I wanted to go into this essay in a way that accepts Watcher’s statement—that they needed more funding—in relatively good faith rather than assuming the worst (although that is another point I’ll get into later, largely related to the philosophy I brought up earlier.)

All four of the above listed content creators started or, at least, hit their stride on YouTube:

RocketJump and College Humor were, if not household names, then the digital equivalent of it in the “early days of YouTube.” They were part of the wave of content creators that made YouTube seem less like a bunch of eccentrics with cameras making videos on the side and more like a viable way to support yourself/your team with the art you create.

RocketJump’s Video Game High School went from short (less than 10 minutes) minimal location episodes in season one, to 30 minute plus episodes with full on fight scenes and car explosions by season three thanks to a Monster Energy brand deal. They also had two seasons of Anime Crimes Division, a literal TV quality show, thanks to a Crunchy Roll sponsorship. Unfortunately, RocketJump shut down not long after (their videos are still up on YouTube but they obviously don’t add anything new) but the core creative team behind that have been involved in several projects outside of YouTube (Dimension 404 on Hulu being one of the biggest ones so far) including the podcast Story Break (part of the Maximum Fun network) and now the independent podcast Dungeons and Daddies, the episodes of the main campaigns which are free with ads or, for patrons, ad-less along with additional mini-campaigns and other benefits.

I will say, during RocketJump’s decline, they did try their best to keep going. The partnerships with Monster Energy and Crunchy Roll were the big swings to get the funding to make those TV quality shows they wanted. I believe they lucked out with those brands in particular, or, at least, those brands didn’t seem to inhibit the creative process or ask too much of them that it felt like “selling out” but I also don’t have insight into why they didn’t pursue this model of, essentially, very weird but interesting season long commercials. Maybe they just couldn't find the right brands or maybe they did feel like it was too stifling. Regardless, before they shut down completely, they did also downsize—moving out of the actual city of Los Angeles over to Buena Park. Which is in Los Angeles county, and basically counts as LA still, but is way cheaper than literal Hollywood real estate. (I should have added to my relevant background that I’m born and raised LA county, and have relatives and friends in the film/movie industry, so trust me when I say literal Hollywood/city of Los Angeles is so overrated and unnecessarily expensive. There is a reason why LA traffic is the worst and it’s because everyone is commuting INTO the city. Respectfully and with affection, no one should live there. No one’s start up should be located there.) Obviously the downsizing didn’t necessarily work for RocketJump, but they also didn’t have multiple successful revenue streams the way that Watcher currently does.

In contrast, College Humor was acquired by InterActiveCorp and was turned into CH Media which was three pronged: College Humor, Drawfee, and Dorkly. In 2018 they made Dropout, which had exclusive content separate from their YouTube videos which involved all three prongs. Then some financial shenanigans happened early 2020—IAC withdrew their funding—and there were a bunch of layoffs right before the pandemic which extremely sucked. It has been stated by multiple people involved that it was basically a miracle that Dropout survived through all of that, but there were definitely some sacrifices along the way to make that happen. Currently, Dropout seems to be thriving with mostly exclusive content with the occasional “first episode of a season” posted to YouTube, OR if Dimension 20 is doing a “sequel season” in an already established campaign they will put the entirety of the previous season on YouTube.

IAC withdrawing their funding did put CH Media in a bind. They had to layoff a lot of people right before pandemic and, understandably, a lot of trauma was had. There were also weird issues with who controlled certain IPs/brands/digital assets (I mostly come at this from a Drawfee POV, it took several years for them to own the Drawga series and be allowed to host all of the episodes on their YouTube, and there was also something about the sound file for their opening animation?) but mainly the difference is what kind of content they generate. Originally Dropout had multiple scripted shows with high budgets and pretty cool effects/animations/stunts (Troopers, Kingpin Katie, Gods of Food, Ultramechatron Team Go!, Cartoon Hell, and WTF 101) whereas now almost all of their shows are variations of improv comedians being put into different scenarios or given different prompts. I’m not just talking about Game Changer and Make Some Noise, because Dimension 20 and Um, Actually also technically fall under that description as well. Which is not to say that these shows are worse than the scripted shows—I subscribe to Dropout, so clearly I’m a fan of their current shows—and the budgets for them have since increased to resemble, if not match, those early shows, but it is a noticeable shift in their content creation strategy as a response to the lack of IAC funding. And I will say: Dropout releases at least three videos a week if not more and at least two of those are long form at 30 minutes plus (Dimension 20 being the longest, of course.)

So, these first two business models are not really the most applicable to Watcher Entertainment considering their origin was to get away from Buzzfeed—they’re probably not keen to be partnered with or purchased by a larger company—but there are some aspects to both that I believe are valuable in at least showing the strategy in how these former YouTube creators could successfully extract themselves from YouTube or how they still utilize YouTube even if it is not their main hosting platform or revenue stream.

Then there is Drawfee and Corridor Digital, both of whom are currently—if not primarily—on YouTube, whose situations are more comparable to what I believe are Watcher’s goals.

Drawfee had to rebuild themselves like a phoenix from the ashes of the CH Media layoff during the beginning/worst of the pandemic. Side note: I’m happy that Nathan (one of the four main artists of the current Drawfee team) at least has forgiven(? or let bygones be bygones) Dropout enough to be on an episode of Game Changer (although I will say that this happened after Drawga was “returned” to Drawfee, and after Dropout officially split from College Humor as a brand.) All that being said, Drawfee was a team of four artists plus their editor who wanted to stick together but basically had all of their support system taken away from them. They took a bit of a break to assess their goals and options, announced a patreon with several tiers with great perks, and stuck to their upload schedule. In addition to two videos a week, they also stream on Twitch weekly, have a patron only stream once a month, and a draw class (for one of the higher tiers) once month. After asking their patrons on the relevant tiers if they were okay with it, they began releasing the patron only stream and the draw class to the general public for free after a month. The patreon perks also include things like merch discount codes, high quality PNGs of the final rendered art, access to the draw class with live interaction/critique, and a commission from the artist of your choice. The only “ads” they run are for their own patreon and merch store and, even then, they’re usually at the end of the videos with a credit scroll of the patron names during their exit banter.

Admittedly, they only have MAYBE eight employees—that’s including their video editor(s?) and their discord mod(s?)—with the main four artists doubling/tripling up duties as additional video editors, CFO, and marketing/merch leads. It’s a very streamlined crew and their production costs are not very high since it’s mostly screen recording of their drawings with their audio recording overlayed onto that footage. Although the video editors do sometimes have clever cuts to relevant images depending on their vamping. Sometimes they will have a guest artist but, again, since it’s screen and audio recordings, there’s no travel/housing costs. So, very minimal expenses due to low production costs and small crew but, again, their only revenue source is the patreon/merch, they don’t do outside ads and they very rarely do live shows.

Corridor Digital is, I think, the most applicable to what Watcher would ideally do, which I suppose is somewhat ironic for this essay in particular considering they’re the only one of the four that I don’t financially support. They have two YouTube channels: their main one being where they show the “final product” videos, but I believe their Corridor Crew channel which started primarily as behind the scenes type of videos is where most of their views come from. Especially their React series (VFX artists, Stuntmen, and Animators React etc.) On Corridor Crew they usually upload two videos a week — one which is a React and the other which goes into fun projects/challenges (involving VFX or not) or using VFX to explain scientific concepts — as well as the first episodes of their exclusive content on their streamer. Also behind that paywall are longer and ad-less versions of the videos on YouTube. They also have merch. All of them have merch, I don’t know why I’m stating that. They don’t have a patreon as far as I know, but I also don’t know if their subscription to their website comes with similar perks like discounted merch or something similar.

Anyway, their studio seems to be about 15 to 20 people — not all of them are VFX artists, of course. I believe they have higher equipment costs than Watcher since, understandably, Corridor has to be on the cutting edge of video editing technology. They do occasionally travel for shoots, but it doesn’t require big teams, and that’s only when the local locations available to them don’t match the requirements for the “final product” videos. Otherwise most of their videos are set in the studio or in the alleyway outside their studio in Los Angeles (the city itself, not just the greater county, though they are in a rougher and thus probably cheaper part of Los Angeles). I personally don’t subscribe to their website primarily because their exclusive shows don’t appeal to me—either they’re too technical or a little too dry; to be fair, most of them are VFX artists first before they are performers—and I don’t particularly feel the need to see the extended cuts of the videos uploaded on YouTube. Also I sometimes get a little bummed out by their lack of diversity.

All of this to say, from these four different business models, a bespoke Frankenstein business model for Watcher could be cobbled together. But also, even with that bespoke Frankenstein, there are some changes that Watcher would have to make: primarily their upload schedule. As of right now, I think they do MAYBE one video a week if not, perhaps, one video every TWO weeks. If they want a monthly subscription model, their rate of content generation would ideally be higher to double/quadruple their current upload rate. Obviously they want to create videos with higher production value, but at that rate of generation, something’s got to give: supplement their TV quality shows with either a behind the scenes type series or an increase of “we get four episodes out of Shane and Ryan get increasingly drunk in someone’s backyard” or something similar. Leaning into shows like Worth A Shot (the first season in which Ricky Wang makes cocktails based on a random ingredient, the second season threw in some competitive aspects which I didn’t really find necessary) or the Beatdown which has relatively low production costs (no travel, one location, maybe two cameras at most therefore smaller crew requirements) but a higher polished look. Otherwise, for a separate streaming subscription service, 2-4 videos a month is not going to cut it.

As of right now they probably can’t back out of the separate streaming subscription service because those set ups usually require some level of contract/paying for servers for the website and whatever is hosting their videos for a set amount of time. However, what really strikes me is that I literally didn’t know they had a patreon until I scrolled through the comments of the first Goodbye Youtube video. Maybe it’s been linked "tactfully" in the descriptions of videos, but considering they claim to be lacking in funds, the fact that they weren’t plugging their patreon at the end of every video is not just strange, but also irresponsible considering they do have 25 employees that they don’t want to layoff.

Additionally, I understand artists needing to be in a space that promotes creativity, but there are cheaper places that must be comparable that aren’t in literal Hollywood. It’s an unnecessary expense. On top of that, other people have already brought up that it was fairly crass to introduce this paywall, attributing it to the increased production costs, when the next planned “new series” is a reboot of an old Buzzfeed series in which people travel and eat expensive food. I’m not even talking about the personal expenses of Steven, Shane, and Ryan; what kind of car they drive or the cost of their wedding venue doesn’t matter on a business model basis.

But getting back to the patreon: again, I literally didn’t know they had one. I’m looking over their tiers— they have $5, $10, $25, and $100 — and for the most part they seem okay, although I think they have more to offer that wouldn’t necessarily cost them more. Ie, something that has baffled me for a while: the fact they don’t sell the mp3s of the Puppet History songs; they already exist and it doesn’t cost them anything additional because they don’t need to put it on physical media. Or maybe they do and they’re not marketing it similarly to how they weren’t overtly marketing their patreon?

And, okay, maybe they didn’t want to seem desperate — in the early days of Dropout and independent Drawfee, they both were very blatant in getting people to subscribe/join their patreon. As they should be. Desperation maybe doesn’t look cool and sexy, but it is earnest in a way that conveys equal effort that fans who can afford it would want to see. The fact that we weren’t getting rotating ten second clips of Steven, Shane, and Ryan asking people to join the patreon at the end of every video — even if its the same clip every three videos — is wild. And yes, the $25 tier includes a shoutout every 3 months on Watcher Weekly+ (which I don't quite understand what that is,) but the fact that they weren’t doing a quick post movie credits scroll of all the patreon names is, again, wild. Once you have that initial list, it’s not too difficult to add any new names that join and put that title overlay on top of, again, those nonexistent ten second clips of the three.

As others have already stated, it seems like an extreme mismanagement of their existing successful revenue streams, if they are actually struggling to pay all of their employees. Which goes into the philosophy part of this essay: don’t assume malice when it might just be incompetence. It’s something that I have to remind myself of often because I do get paranoid about people’s intentions sometimes and I have to check myself. Am I being overly suspicious of what might be just an honest mistake? Am I assigning ill will to an action just because it inconvenienced me?

Yes, of course, a lot of this situation could be misconstrued as straight up greed. But, also, Watcher is a relatively young company, helmed by three people who certainly don’t have experience running their own company:

They like to travel. They like to bring a full crew around with them. They’re renting out a shiny office in the heart of Hollywood where everyone knows is where real show biz happens. They’re adding more employees to the team because surely more people means better. And they want better productions values because the prettier the videos the more people will like them right?

It’s naive. It’s a level of inexperience combined with giving responsibility to officers whose main priority is to entertain. And if that means entertaining themselves and their staff, then they might not know the difference. It’s the kind of mistake that first time managers make—trying to prioritize fun over getting the job done. Prioritizing making friends with their employees rather than making sure the work the employees put in is equal to (or greater than) what you spend on them whether that is in paycheck or bringing them to cool locations for fun shoots. It’s a mistake anyone can make, it's just unfortunate that they made this mistake in front of millions of people. It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s solely a greed induced cash grab.

But then comes the catch-22 of the philosophy—is it worse to assume incompetence than it is to assume malice? Or, in this case, greed. Especially for the heads of a company that holds the livelihoods of 25 employees in their hands. At what point does it not matter if it’s incompetence or greed if the end result is the same?

Is it better to think that Watcher knew about the various other business models of independent creators and just ignored the efforts put into achieving those successes or is it better to think that they didn’t know and just stumbled into one of the worst moves they could have done. Again, other people have mentioned that Great Mythical Morning—which Watcher has had multiple collaborations with—has managed to make the YouTube subscription/tier system work to the point that they can sustain themselves as well as spinoff channels. Is it incompetence or greed that led to Watcher thinking they could bypass that completely in less time and with less content?

I’ve been at this mess of an essay for several hours when I should have been asleep. Ultimately I want to say, regardless of incompetence or greed… yes, Steven is CEO and yes he is ultimately the one who makes the final call but it is disheartening to see the pointed vitriol at Steven specifically and the infantilizing of Shane and Ryan in comparison. Either they’re all silly uwu boys who are messing around not knowing how to run a company, or they’re all complicit in a crass cash grab in an extremely busted economy.

I think what’s most frustrating to me in all this is that there were so many other channels and creators who have literally walked this path before them and, again, whether through incompetence or greed or arrogance, for them to just ignore it… It’s not betrayal because I don’t know them and so there’s no relationship to betray, it’s just so inefficient and convoluted that I don’t understand. Or, no, even if it was greed, it’s an incompetent greed because at least pure greed would have been pushing that patreon every second they could. Their ratio of YouTube subscribers to patreon members is less than 1% and I bet that’s because a lot of their audience, like me, literally didn’t know they had a patreon. I probably would have become a patreon member of theirs had I known earlier, ESPECIALLY if it included access to those Puppet History songs. Drawfee has half as many YouTube subscribers and nearly double the patreon members as Watcher. I’m just baffled, is all, and maybe by this point sleep deprived.

Anyway. That’s my extremely late, completely unnecessary opinion of this situation.

Edit (several hours later after some sleep): I forgot to mention, because they did walk this back almost immediately, even before their "An Update" video, but I believe the original plan was to put EVERYTHING behind that paywall and pull their content from YouTube entirely. Which is, again, extremely baffling, because if ALL of their content is behind a paywall, how would they possibly gain new fans? Even if all of their current fans were able and willing to pay for their separate subscription streaming service, how would a brand new person even stumble on their content enough to want to subscribe if there wasn't a significant amount of "proof of value" free content on YouTube? Again, extremely baffling, and a level of incompetence that overshadows a "cunning" greed. But, like I said earlier, they did walk this decision back almost immediately. If I've misunderstood this and that was never their plan, please let me know, I don't want to be spreading misinformation in a situation that is already so convoluted.

[razorblade180]

Captain Catch Up

Aether:It’s been a while since we got together like this. What’s the occasion?

Keqing:It’s important to touch base every so often. I’m sure a few of us have things worth mentioning? For example, How’s Lyney?

Amber:I passed his training awhile ago. He’s pretty tenacious, although he still has a few things to iron out. Him and Dehya seem to get along pretty well though.

Kokomi:I’ve actually appreciated her progress a lot when it comes to supporting Miko. Nahida has given her high marks as well.

Klee:She’s very nice to me! I don’t get hurt as much.

Aether:Well Chongyun, it sounds like you’ve trained another talent.

Hu Tao:Oh brother, don’t praise him too much. He will go from blue to red in no time. Also, what’s one or two good eggs under his wing.

Chongyun:One or two? There’s three at this table! You’re one of them!

Ayaka:You do good work.

Ganyu:Thank you for your efforts. How’s Freminet coming along?

Chongyun:He’s really hardworking. Truthfully,there’s not too much to really show him aside from team building.

Yanfei:Let’s address the elephant in the room shall we? Do we think anyone should be promoted to Captain? We’ve gained so many new friends and they’ve all got talent. I’m sure a certain someone in here would like to stop being the newest member.

Wanderer: Don’t really care either way. I’m sitting here right now because it’s mandatory.

Aether:I thought you’d be happier. This is technically your first meeting. You’ve escaped it for a decent time.

Wanderer: I don’t see the point in this. It’s not like we aren’t constantly crossing paths one way or another. My work speaks for itself. As well as my thoughts on who I see as…useful.

Yoimiya:Aw, is that your way of saying Faruzan is great? You gave her a crown! You two might as well be a dynamic duo. A trio if we include Diona.

Wanderer:No comment.

Amber:Lyney isn’t ready yet, but I’ll keep an eye out.

Yoimiya:He needs a few more laps around the block for sure.

Ganyu:It kinda sounds like you two are just gatekeeping pyro archery…

Keqing:I nominate Nilou.

Everyone:Ooooo

Keqing:It only makes sense. I constantly have to coordinate with her on who got to call on which dendro user during events or abyss. Not to mention the blatant fact she has pushed beyond simply performing her niche.

Ayaka:She is constantly going back in forth with my brother. And now that Furina and Yelan are here…

Yanfei:She’s always on a roll. It really wasn’t a lie whenever she said “Every hydro and dendro has a home and forwards her ideas.”

Kokomi:I nominate her as well.

Aether:Well if there’s no objections?

Everyone raises their hands and claps three times.

Keqing:Good. I’ll tell her the news. Now speaking of Furina…

Aether:I can’t let her have the satisfaction of progressing this fast.

Hu Tao:Ha! You’re so petty.

Yoimiya:I haven’t spent the most time with her but I’ve seen Noelle recently and noticed the healers in our group really giving it their all. I think she’s earned the ego boost.

Yanfei:She’s kinda crazy Aether. I was putting up numbers.

Klee:Same!!! It’s been sooo long! I’d always call for her if she wasn’t so busy.

Ganyu:She is certainly popular. Honestly it might be better for her to stay on calm instead of being a Captain. It’s why Nahida is where she is; happily on call.

Aether:I can’t argue with that.

Chongyun:It’s not like you aren’t going to give her crown. Why act calm now?

Aether:It’s complicated. Also I think it would be criminal not to mention both Charlotte and Lynette have found comfortable footing.

Wanderer:Boasting about your own teaching?

Aether:No one’s humble all the time. Anyways, I’m sure Furina will come is wondering herself about her progress. It pretty apparent how much she’s shaken things up. I’ll talk to her.

Keqing:If nobody else has anything to mention, we can call it? I don’t want to keep you all too long.

Chongyun:Who’s Navia training under?

Hu Tao:More importantly, what if she’s good enough for Captain? Poor little Noelle might feel some type of way.

Amber:Noelle has two crowns. Although you do have a point? Maybe have Navia shadow under her for the time being? She’ll learn the ropes and it’s a new leadership role for Noelle. I bet those two will get along.

Ayaka:Isn’t that a little risky to put two people so alike together in that situation.

Amber:I trained Lyney

Chongyun:I trained you.

Hu Tao:One of you was clearly a little agitated and the other try turning in their resignation and thought they were being replaced.

Chongyun and Amber: That’s neither here nor there.

[perpetual-stories]

Dive In Deeper: Oxymoron

Hello, happy Tuesday!

Please check out my last post if you haven’t!

I’d appreciate it if you reblogged or potentially considered applying! I really need to find ya’ll quick, hehe!

And for those who have already applied thank you! I’ll take a look at your emails soon!

Anyways, let’s dive right in!

What Is an Oxymoron?

Oxymorons are oppositional words joined to create a unique word or phrase

An oxymoron can seem absurd yet make perfect sense at the same time

What Is the Purpose of Oxymoron in Literature?

Add dramatic effect. Oxymorons are unique. At first glance they seem to be self-defeating, with words that negate one another. As a complete thought, an oxymoron amplifies the meaning of the second word. For example, the phrase “absolutely unsure” is an oxymoron. Instead of pulling away from one another, the contrasting definitions support the greater concept of being completely unsure. This emphasis adds a dramatic effect to a sentence or passage.

Create a playful tone. The use of oxymorons add playfulness to writing. Oxymorons like “seriously funny,” “original copy,” “plastic glasses,” and “clearly confused” juxtapose opposing words next to one another, but their ability to make sense despite their opposing forces adds wit to writing.

Reveal a deeper meaning. The dichotomy of an oxymoron often expresses a complex idea. It gives a reader pause and makes them think about the context in a different light. The word “bittersweet,” for example, is an oxymoron that reveals a double-sided existence of an object or idea.

Add irony. There are examples of oxymorons whose meanings might not seem in contrast to one another, but their cultural associations are. Ironic oxymorons include: “airline schedule,” “business ethics,” and “military intelligence.”

What Is the Difference Between Oxymoron and Paradox?

An oxymoron is a descriptive device that places two opposing words next to or near to one another.

A paradox, while also using contradictory terms or thoughts, is generally a longer statement, and a twist of words as well as logic.

10 Examples of Common Oxymorons

Small crowd”

“Old news”

“Open secret”

“Living dead”

“Deafening silence”

“Only choice”

“Pretty ugly”

“Awfully good”

“Almost exactly”

“Same difference”

There you have it folks! Please share if you find these tips helpful! Like, reblog, follow and comment!

[owlixx]

CoD Notes: BO2 Beat

Got this game done start to finish in record time so it’s all a bit of a blur, but I’ll jot down my overall impressions before going level by level.

Overall, I like this game a lot. I think it’s not a hot take to say it is mechanically stronger than Black Ops, but narratively weaker. Finally getting hit markers and class customization in the campaign is a godsend, and I’d rank them at the top of the list of new features. Somewhere in the middle would be the “branching paths” story decisions, and towards the bottom would be the strike force missions. Oh, also I do like the campaign mission challenges too.

Now, the class loadout system did just turn into me using a threat finder scope on an LMG towards the end, but I appreciate that I got to choose that for myself. And I like certain gear being unlocked from challenges to encourage replaying. If I had played this on the 360 where I got games much less frequently, I likely would’ve replayed this campaign tons, but I got this on PC after becoming a PC gamer and having a zillion games to play.

To elaborate on the Strike Force missions, I simply do not like them. I only did the tutorial one and I barely survived. I had a lot more patience for these as a kid but I just wasn’t feeling it. Maybe it’s just because I’m in a rush to get to the next game, but I just want an objective and some guys to kill. I also think this would’ve made more sense as a take on MW3’s Survival mode, with the option to purchase troops between waves and using each multiplayer map.

The split narrative of this game is another “new feature” I suppose, and it’s just…fine. I like having an entire second set of weapons to play with, but this felt very unnecessary. It makes me wonder if they already had some of these levels or story bests designed before deciding to go futuristic. I don’t think anything they said about Mason/Woods really needed to be said, and I may have preferred to have kept the action focused in either 2025 or 1985.

For that matter, a lot of the “high tech” sci fi stuff like the wing suit, grippy globes, spider drone, etc. feel a little shoe horned and unnecessary.

I wanna say this is also the first of these games to just start making up entirely fictional weaponry, which makes sense given the setting but still kind of contributed to the franchise’s identity going forward.

Raul Menendez is just an okay villain. In theory, he’s more complex than previous villains because of his dead sister, but that doesn’t really connect to his weird cult or dark knight joker antics, it just feels like they needed a reason for him to hate Woods. He comes across as a kind of…wannabe villain. Sure, the Black Ops 1 villains are just standard evil Russians, but somehow that felt more believable than “a cartel guy from the 80’s becomes the leader of a billion person cult in 2025 just to really screw with one singular guy”. They never even really explore the implication of his cult having 1-2 billion members. Also I’m already misremembering some of the details of Raul with some of the details of Hades from Advanced Warfare.

This is already starting to take up a bit of time to write out so I’ll just rattle off some mission thoughts from memory rather than pull up the list of every mission.

The hotel resort mission - kind of a cool concept and decent in execution.

Driving a car that one time - I really fumbled with it, and weird that it lets you pick whether to do the car or the drone.

Opening mission - seems weird to open with basically a Black Ops 1 epilogue but it’s fine enough.

President saving/Final mission - a little toasty in terms of difficulty, but fine.

Also it’s so funny to me any time they transition to Woods by saying “hey remember that one time my uncle told us about a story?”

Oh btw I got the worst ending possible.

The mission where you play as Raul is so silly to me because he has a ton of health and a melee attack but I died anyways so my version of events is Raul huffing and puffing and being very mad about his sister dying but still carefully popping out of cover with a scoped rifle.

I wanna say this is kind of the beginning of a lot of grey hallways being a go to for the series.

I do really like that the HUD is different between the 80s and 2020s even down to the hit marker visual.

Oh, and I did really enjoy the one 80s sniping mission.

And the scene where Woods is tricked into shooting Mason is a lot of fun! …but it’s no Black Ops 1.

Finally, I did play a singular match of Town on zombies. Managed to find a guy online! He didn’t know English well but we still managed to interact a small bit and got to round 18 or so before I blew it and brought us both down. Got a ray gun on my first try at the box! Well, my third try, but the first try where all I wanted was a ray gun. Okay, fourth try because I had gotten monkeys on my actual first try.

Also couldn’t find a match in game so I hopped on Plutonium (fan server add on) and played one match. I mean, it’s not bad, but I don’t think I feel the urge to revisit the multiplayer of this era as badly as I thought I would. It is hilarious seeing just how much I used the pump shotgun in this game online and nothing else nearly as much in my career record.

In the rankings, hmm…probably below BO1/MW2 but above MW1/3

[snappedsky]

Fanatics 99.14

The Battalion plan a revolution.

*Links to previous and next chapters in reblog*

--

The Greatest in the Galaxy Part 14

*Last Night*

“This whole competition...is rotten.”

The rest of the Battalion watched Squee with surprise after his statement. They were gathered in his bedroom in the team house, talking quietly as the team cam-bot constantly knocked on the door, wanting inside.

“Rotten how?” Dib asked.

“It’s all a farce,” Squee replied, “Zinather told me himself while we were fighting. The whole thing is rigged in the Irkens’ favour to make them appear like they’re the ‘greatest in the galaxy’. And I suspect a lot of the other competitors know this too.”

“I didn’t know this,” Kio mused.

“But it makes a lot of sense in retrospect,” Tak pointed out, “like of course that’s something Irk would do.”

“Exactly,” Squee agreed, “that’s why tomorrow doesn’t matter. Even if we do somehow win, Irk won’t allow it.”

“This is unacceptable!” Zim barked.

“Zim!” the others hissed quietly, shushing him.

“Right, sorry,” he whispered. “It’s unacceptable. We came here for a fun last hurrah for the team, and now Irk is ruining that with their cheating. We earned our points fair and square. We deserve to win.”

“Like Squee said, it doesn’t matter what we deserve,” Gaz argued, “Irk will find a way to ruin it.”

Zim mulled this over for a minute before saying, “what if we ruined it first?”

“What?” Tak questioned.

“If this competition is rotten, then it should be removed completely,” Zim explained, “so let’s remove it, destroy it, take it off the air for good.”

“How do we do that?” Pepito asked.

Zim considered it for a second but couldn’t come up with a clear answer.

“Even if we did somehow ruin the competition, Irk would definitely retaliate,” Dib pointed out, “and I do not want to deal with another planetary war. It hasn’t even been three months since the last one.” “Then what if we took out the Tallest?” Squee suggested, “this whole thing is probably their fault anyway. And we’ve left them as a thorn in our side for far too long.”

“True,” Kio agreed, “but we can’t just kill them.”

“We can’t?” Pepito questioned.

“No, no, no,” Zim replied, “trust me. The death of a Tallest results in demotions and exiles even if it wasn’t directly your fault and was objectively super awesome and nobody appreciates good work anymore.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Gaz asked.

“Nothing, forget it. My point is, we can’t just simply kill the Tallest, especially not since we’re outsiders. That would definitely cause a planetary war. No, they would have to be ousted by another worthy Irken.”

“What about Rory?” Squee suggested.

“Hey, yeah,” Pepito agreed, “Rory hates the Tallest and he’d be a way better leader.”

“If Rory wanted to oust the Tallest, couldn’t he have done it already?” Tak asked.

“Not necessarily,” Kio replied, “the Tallest are powerful and he would need trusted allies to establish a coup.”

“Allies like us,” Dib smirked.

“But how are we gonna tell Rory about this?” Gaz asked, “there’s eyes on us at all times and the Tallest cannot find out beforehand.”

“Then we’ll take out the eyes,” Squee replied, “simultaneously ruining the competition and making sure the Tallest know nothing of our plans.”

“Again, I ask, how?” she emphasized.

Squee thought for a second. “Is there a way to get all of the cam-bots in one spot?”

“They’re automatically drawn to large spectacles,” Kio replied, “we’d need something really big to get them all in one spot.”

“Like, say, a sudden explosion?” he suggested.

“No-no, Squee, no!” Pepito insisted.

“I can do it tomorrow while you guys go to the stadium,” Squee mused, ignoring him.

“But you’re injured!” Shmoopy cried.

“Exactly. Too injured to compete. That’s my alibi. I can stay at the house to relax and heal and just before the competition begins- boom! The cam-bots all come running and Gir and Mimi can help me swipe them and deactivate them.” “But what if you hurt yourself again?” Pepito asked worriedly.

“I’ll be fine, I’ll slip out in the last second,” Squee replied.

“Okay, okay,” Tak said quickly, “let’s say we do this- start a coup with Rory. There’s no way the Irken army will side with us. We don’t have enough numbers to go up against them.”

“We will if the rest of the competitors join us,” Dib argued, “they’re probably sick of being under the Irkens’ thumb.”

“That’s still not enough firepower,” Tak insisted, “we’d need something really big to really take down the Tallest and their army.”

“We might have access to something really big,” Kio mused, “but in order to find it, we’ll need to operate completely under the radar, without the Tallest knowing anything.” “I’ll handle that too,” Squee declared, “I can use one of the cam-bots to draw the Tallest’s attention.”

“You’d have to really piss them off,” Gaz pointed out.

“Sounds like fun.”

“Alright,” Zim nodded, “so Squee will distract the Irkens and the rest of you will track down Kio’s ‘something big’. Meanwhile, I’ll talk to Rory. Agreed?”

“Ugh, well, I don’t like Squee’s part of this plan,” Pepito admitted, “but the rest of it sounds fun. Like a revolution.”

“Yes, perfect,” Zim agreed, “a revolution.”

---

*Now*

A metal cable shoots out of the brace on Squee’s right arm. It attaches to a building and swings him through the air before retracting back into the brace. Another cable shoots out of the left brace and attaches to a different building, continuing his swing.

“This is amazing!” Squee cheers as he’s flung up high into the sky. He hangs there for a second, smiling brightly, before plummeting down. The wind blasts around him and through his hair as he shoots another cable, hooking onto a building and swinging forward.

He spots something and hooks the roof of a nearby building. As he approaches it, he retracts the cable and lands on the roof perfectly, skidding to a stop. He straightens up as he looks out at the surrounding buildings. The cam-bot finally catches him, stumbling to a halt beside him.

Squee points out towards the buildings, at one covered in Irken branding. “Target acquired. Stay here.”

He fires his cables and swings to the building, landing on the wall. His rocket wheelies activate and he zooms along the wall as he glows purple, leaving behind a trail like paint in the shape of two letters: S C.

When he’s finished, he swings back to the roof of the previous building, where the cam-bot remained. “Everyone watching?” he asks before pointing at the building with finger guns. “Pew.”

The purple paint explodes, completely destroying the building.

“Woo!” Squee cheers as he zooms off the building roof. He catches another building with one of his grappling cables and continues swinging through the city. Soon, Gir, Minimoose, and Mimi join him, flying alongside. Gir and Mimi fires bombs, blowing up the empty streets below, Gir squealing excitedly the whole time. The Tallest watch all of this on their large TV in the Irken tower, both of them writhing with rage.

“He destroyed our empty building used exclusively to paint with Irken cheers!” Purple whines, “I loved that building!”

“Get to his location already!” Red barks, “capture him!”

“We’re trying, sirs,” an Irken soldier replies through a communicator, “but he moves too fast. We can’t catch up to him.”

“I don’t want excuses! I want results!” he retorts.

Meanwhile, farther away from the main city, is an area full of different sized arenas and stadiums. This place is just as deathly silent and empty, except for the rest of the Battalion as they march through it.

“This is going amazingly well,” Dib remarks, “we haven’t even seen another Irken since we disappeared from the main arena...except for Tak.”

“Thanks for including me,” she grunts.

“I just hope Squee is okay,” Pepito says.

They hear a distant explosion and turn to see more burning smoke rising from the middle of the city, joining the other plumes.

“Nah, he seems to be having fun,” Gaz comments.

“So what is it we’re looking for, Kio?” Tak asks.

“One of these arenas is used for a game in the competition,” she replies, “I believe the tools of the game can be very useful to us in stopping the Irken army.”

“What is it?” Shmoopy asks.

“You’ll see,” Kio smiles cryptically. The others glance at each other curiously.

“Well, how do you know which arena it is?” Pepito asks.

“I don’t, but my goggles have picked up the energy signature of the tools, and we’re getting close,” she replies.

“So once we find the ‘tools’ we’ll go pick up Zim and Rory,” Dib muses, “and then the final battle will begin.” “Correct,” Kio nods.

“Assuming Rory agrees to join us,” Gaz adds.

“I wonder how their meeting’s going,” Dib says.

In the Irken tower, Rory- with his twin SIR units, Viv and Civ- is seated across from Zim in his private chambers. The room is dark and they speak in hushed tones.

“A revolution?” Rory questions.

“That’s right,” Zim nods excitedly, “we help you take down the Tallest and you take your rightful place as leader of Irk. Sound good?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he says quickly. “This is so sudden. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do want to be leader. But I thought it would happen naturally when I eventually outgrow them.”

“And how long is that going to take? A few decades?” Zim scoffs, “why not expedite the process with a coup?”

“And what do you get out of this?”

“The Tallest have been a threat to me and my planet for too long. With them out of the way, I won’t have to worry. And with you as leader, Irk and Earth could even be allies.”

“Establishing planetary alliances is definitely part of my leadership goals,” Rory nods, “but we don’t have the man-power to take down their loyalists.”

“We will when we add the other competitors and guests to our ranks,” Zim insists, “and right now my team is tracking down a secret weapon. So come on. Just say yes.”

Rory considers everything quietly for a second. Then a grin spreads across his face and he grips Zim’s hand. “Yes.”

[kalpasio]

A Post Kalpas Odyssey

Welcome Guests!

A Kalpas x Reader fic taking place in APHO, Chapter 5 below!

Having shared a dorm with Sunita for a few years, you knew exactly how loud she and Lyle were, especially when they argued—which was always. So when Adam and Carole showed up at your door after dinner, asking to move in, you weren’t overly shocked.

“has been staying with the squad leaders for a few days now,” Carole explained. “Carried her bed over and hasn’t come back.”

“Honestly, it would make more sense for the two of them to move here, and for us to move out,” you motioned your hand back and forth while you spoke, as though showing the two groups moving. Carole took a long sip of her tea and nodded enthusiastically.

“That’s what I said! But they don’t want to talk to you, and it’s not really fair to Timido that she can’t move back into her room.” Adam nodded, backing up what Carole said.

“I guess we go find a new house for you guys and you can stay here in the meantime?” you glanced to Kalpas for any objections, but he said nothing. “Someone will have to stay on the couch though--" your roommate decided then was the time to speak up.

“Someone can take my room.”

“Perfect!” Carole clapped excitedly and brought her hands next to her beaming face. “Thanks so much! Come on senpai, let’s grab our stuff.” Once they had both left, you turned to frown at Kalpas.

“You shouldn’t have to sleep on the couch.”

“I’m not going to,” he stood and walked towards the stairs. “Your bed is big enough for us both.” It wasn’t even a question, he decided you two were sharing a bed, and then he was gone.

Jumping up from your seat you dashed up the stairs after him, realizing you needed to clean your room before he made fun of the mess.

When it came time to go to bed, you all said good night and went your separate ways to get ready. Kalpas went into the bathroom while you changed, and when you were both done, you swapped. A short while later, you entered your room to find Kalpas covering the entirety of your bed. With a huff, you walked over and pushed on his parm.

“Budge over,” you prodded—both physically and verbally.

“Just go to sleep,” he rumbled, and you scowled back, though he couldn’t see it.

“There is no bed to sleep on,” you pushed again, “move over.” Kalpas opened one eye and looked to see that there was, in fact, no space on the bed for you. With a sigh, he moved, and you thought he was going to give you some room, but he just lifted an arm and the blanket for you to climb in. He gave you maybe a few inches, but there was no way you could fit without laying on top of him. His eye was closed again, but you glared holes into his head anyway.

“If you don’t give me more space, I’m going to go share a bed with someone who will.” That got his attention. Whether out of irritation about having to move, or anger at the threat, Kalpas growled, but he did move over slightly. He was still taking up most of the bed, so you raised an eyebrow. “Carole or Adam, I’ll let you pick.”

With a louder growl this time, he grabbed your arm ad pulled you under the covers. You landed harshly, partially on the bed and partially on Kalpas as you had expected. Trying to squirm away did nothing, the arm that pulled you in keeping a secure grip around you, mostly to keep you from falling off the bed, though keeping you close was an added bonus in Kalpas’ mind.

“I can’t—” you tried to push away. “I can’t breathe, fucks sake, man.” Kalpas gave you a little more room to work with, but that arm stayed firmly around you, and space to breath was not space enough to be laying on the bed rather than the grumpy man below you.

“Can you please just move over?’

“No.” The rumble in his chest could be felt in your bones, but you were too annoyed to appreciate it. “Go to sleep.” You rolled your eyes and wiggled a bit more to get comfortable but stopped when he squeezed your waist as a silent threat. Mentally cursing, you closed your eyes and did your best to pretend to sleep.

Normally, you woke up fairly early. Trying to get into the bathroom when Sunita needed it was a nightmare, so you got up before her to avoid the problem. Kalpas, however, got up even earlier than you so he could make breakfast, and while you normally appreciated it, you did not on this particular morning.

He could have gently untangled himself or given you more room on the bed in the first place so you weren’t lying half on top of him, but neither of those things happened. No, his alarm went off, and he ignored it for a good twenty seconds, until you smacked his chest. Then he gave a groan and rolled to stop the obnoxious beeping, taking you with him. Now you were laying on your side, on the opposite side of the bed from where you had been sleeping and clinging onto Kalpas because you were barely on the mattress still.

Once the alarm was off, you twisted your body so you could put an arm out to stop your fall, but still roll off the bed. You had only just pulled your hand from the covers when Kalpas rolled you both back over, and you became completely tangled in the blankets. Which meant that when he tried to push them off, you got pushed too, and there was no way you were going back to sleep.

Giving a clearly annoyed grunt, you sat up and grabbed the pile of sheets, then sent a glare and some mumbles that definitely weren’t words in Kalpas’ direction before trying—and failing—to get off the bed. The blankets were still wrapped tightly around his legs, so you ended up falling halfway out of the bed, with one leg still on the mattress and a bruise forming on your ass.

Kalpas burst out laughing, and you angrily yanked the rest of the blankets off the bed, pulling him a bit, but not off. When all the bedsheets were wrapped in your arms, you stood and threw them in his face, though it did nothing to stop the laughing. Stalking over to your dresser, you grabbed some clothes and then stuck your tongue out at Kalpas as you left for the bathroom. More chuckling could be heard behind the closed door, but at least you were out of there.

He must have changed in your room while you were gone, because the sound of pancake batter hitting a skillet was already making its way upstairs. After dropping off the clothes you had changed out of in your room, you headed down to the kitchen. Since you had such a rude awakening this morning you were hoping--for both your sake and his--that Kalpas had already started the coffee.

As soon as you entered the kitchen, your eyes were on the pot, and you quickly made your way to grab a mug and prepare your cup. Another team had been sent to do your team’s original job: establish a stable route in and out of St. Fountain. So far they had no luck with the ‘out,’ but you could find supplies being tossed in regularly, and communications with overseer Theresa weren’t impossible, so you were able to make requests, like the sugar and ream you were using right now.

Once the first sip of coffee hit your tongue, you gave a hum of approval and leaned back against the counter. Looking over at Kalpas to see how the food was coming along, you almost spat out your drink.

“Where is your shirt?!” you whisper-yelled, not wanting to wake the others. The view you were getting of Kalpas’ well defined back muscles rippling as he poured and flipped the pancakes was…certainly appreciated, but it was way too early in the morning to be dealing with this. You had to look away to stop yourself from staring when he shrugged.

“Forgot to grab a shirt last night,” Kalpas’ voice was deeper than usual from the lack of use, and it took you a second to get over that and process the words he had said.

“You wore a shirt to bed? Why didn’t you just leave it on?” You were asking the only other person in the kitchen, but if someone were to walk in right now, they would think you were talking to the refrigerator.

“Didn’t want to get flour on it.”

“But getting flour on yourself is fine?!” you almost looked over your shoulder angrily, but quickly moved your eyes back again.

“I’m easier to clean.” You could hear the smugness in his voice, and it was just making you more annoyed.

“I will do your laundry; just go put your shirt on!” your whisper-yelling had become normal talking as you grew more and more flustered by the situation.

“Pancakes’ll burn.”

With a huff, you took a big gulp of coffee and slammed the mug on the counter as though you were taking a shot. Then you stomped—quietly—up the stairs to grab Kalpas’ shirt.

A few seconds later, you stomped—quietly—back down the stairs and pushed the bunched-up shirt into his back, making sure to look away the whole time. Neither of you said anything while he finished the pancake he was working on, and you were beginning to have regrets. Every shift the man made could be felt through the shirt, and while he seemed unbothered by your touch, you were much the opposite, a fierce blush covering your face.

Eventually, the pancake came out of the pan and went onto the plate next to the stove. As soon as his hands were free, you were practically throwing the shirt at Kalpas and running to the safety of your coffee. He was definitely laughing, but so long as you didn’t look at him, you could pretend the laughter wasn’t aimed at you.

Adam came down a few minutes later, and the two of you talked while Kalpas finished cooking. Despite having been in False Bay for months, you didn’t actually know much about St. fountain, so he gave you some background information that made things clearer. He told you about Void Archives, and Joyce and Yang and the fight against The World. Each event seemed filled with action, but he described it like reading from a dry history book, and you realized he must be retelling these stories for the fifth time.

Pancakes were plated, and the three of you moved to eat at the table. Carole came down a minute or so later, having finally smelled and food and you all ate together. When you first tried Kalaps’ cooking, you weren’t expecting anything special, honestly, you thought it would be burnt, yet he shocked both you and Sunita when he managed to pull off a rather impressive dinner given the rations you had and managed to make it taste amazing.

By now, you were used to his exceptional cooking—though you certainly didn’t take it for granted, your late-night snacks always seemed to fall flat in comparison. Adam and Carole weren’t at all prepared to be eating some of the best pancakes in the world, and it showed. Praise immediately fell from Carole’s lips, and Adam nodded, wholeheartedly in agreement, too busy taking another bite to talk.

You silently laughed while you ate, and Kalpas just waved them off, claiming he already knew how good his cooking was. Thinking back, that first night you’d had his cooking, you and Sunita hadn’t been nearly as giving with your praise. One quick look between each other was all he got, until you headed to bed. She had pulled you into her room, seemingly very annoyed.

“Why the hell can he cook like that? What the fuck?”

“Right?” you agreed immediately. “I thought we were gonna be eating half-assed rations, not restaurant-grade dinners!”

“He does have a whole ass,” Sunita suddenly pointed out, as though that explained everything.

“A whole ass,” you nodded wisely before the both of you broke into giggles.

Frowning, you angrily stabbed a pancake at being reminded of how obnoxious your friend was being at the moment. Carole called your name, and you jerked your head up, realizing they must have been talking while you reminisced.

“We’re going to split up to look for the house after tasks today,” Adam summarized what you had missed. “Does that work for you?” You gave a nod in response, still a little lost in thought.

Sunita and Lyle had been on and off, and fuckbuddies, and cuddlebuddies, and rivals, and even friends for a while. Name a relationship, and it could be used to describe them at one point or another. Never before had you been pushed away like this; usually you were the person that knew everything, because Sunita would confide in you. Now, she was pushing everyone away, people she didn’t know that well like Timido and Carole, along with those she did, like you.

When everyone stood to take their dishes, you pulled Adam aside. He was the one who knew Lyle best, and you trusted him to tell you his honest opinion on their relationship. Kalpas sent you a look that you couldn’t quite read, but carried your plate back to the kitchen without a word.

“Do you…” you paused, unsure of how to word your question. “I think…” you stopped again. Maybe you should’ve thought this through more, before cornering Adam like this. Whatever question you were going to ask got cut off as he placed a hand on your shoulder and sent you a look filled with pity.

“I’m sorry,” he shook his head. “I don’t feel that way about you, I hope we can still be friends.” You’d heard him say the line a million times, it was the same every time a girl at school asked him—

“No!” you pulled away and shook your head violently. “Nonono, that is not what I’m asking!” Both of you stared at each other in shock until your panicking stopped and you explained. “I wanted to ask you about Sunita and Lyle! I’m not…” you wrinkled your nose up and shook your head again. Adam actually gave a rare laugh at your reaction.

“I understand,” he said. “I haven’t seen Lyle since prep school, but if he’s at all the same now as he was then, I get why you’re asking.”

“It’s just…the two of them have ‘dated’ so many times, but it’s never been like this. Even when Sunita and I fight, she’s never gotten this mad at me.”

Adam shook his head. “I really don’t know. Maybe they’re scared and looking for some sort of normalcy. Maybe she just wants some space from you. Maybe they’ve both gone off the rails, I have no clue.”

“I guess,” you gave a defeated sigh and your shoulders dropped. “I guess I’ll just give them more time. Thanks.” You nodded in appreciation, and then went upstairs to prepare to meet at base.

A while later, you were the last one out the door, with Carole and Kalpas already a little ahead of you. Adam walked next to you, and you were about to bring up some monsters you had seen on patrol when he spoke.

“Are you two dating?” he pointed between you and Kalpas, and you quickly shoved his hand down as though merely pointing would get the man’s attention.

“No! Why—” you cleared your throat and lowered your shout to a whisper. “Why would you think that?”

“He threatened to kill me when we were getting ready to leave,” Adam stated calmly. As though your blush wasn’t bad enough, now you wanted to curl up in a ball on the side of the road.

“I’ll talk to him,” you weakly offered, but Adam shook his head with a small smile.

“It was funny,” he waved you off as your group entered the base. Everyone took a seat, and Bronya stood in front of the couches to make her announcements.

“There are two areas that need to be investigated today,” she pulled up the map and marked the two points. “Timido, Kalpas, Lyle, and I will be clearing out a Priestess that was spotted near a new ruin gate.” The three nodded and she moved to the next location.

“We want to dispatch a team to scout the area near the Arcane Caste. Sunita—” Bronya didn’t even finish pointing to you before Sunita’s hand was in the air.

“Captain, may I request to work with someone else?” she sounded like the prim and proper student she never was, and everyone’s eyes were on her in shock. Bronya seemed to think for a moment, then looked to the other squad leaders. Mei shrugged, and Carys gave a sharp nod.

“Okay. You can switch with squad member Collodi—” his hand was in the air now. “Yes, Lyle?” Bronya was clearly getting irritated.

“I’d rather not work on a team with them either,” he gave his signature grin, and your heart dropped.

“Has something happened?” Timido leaned over to Adam who was looking at you with a bit of concern in his eyes. Both Carole and Kalpas looked ready to stand up and start yelling, but Carys beat them to it.

“Alright, Mei will go in their place, but you two,” she pointed at Lyle and Sunita. “we’re having a chat before you leave.” Without even standing up, she made it clear to everybody in the room that she was not putting up with whatever drama was happening.

“In that case, Sunita, Mei, Adam, and Carole will be looking around Arcane Castle.” Bronya concluded the meeting shortly after that, and you stayed on the couch looking forward blindly thinking about what had just happened. Did they really hate you that much? To the point that they couldn’t even work with you?

“Hey,” you looked up to see Carys standing by one of the doors, clearly not happy. She jerked her head to say you should come over, so you stood from the couch and followed her outside. “Lyle’s got her convinced you’re the reason they keep breaking up,” Carys folded her arms and leaned against the wall to the base.

“I’ve never…” your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to recall the many time the two had split apart. “I don’t even know they’re dating half the time, the other half, they’re broken up and I find out a week later.” Carys nodded, her frown growing deeper.

“I figured. Look, I’ll get Bronya to talk to Lyle, and I’ll speak to Sunita. In the meantime, I’ve told them they’ve gotta work with you or they’re off the team. Don’t push your luck, but you should be able to go out on a team tomorrow.” You nodded to show you understood and the older Valkyrie brought a hand to the bridge of her nose with a sigh.

“Hate high school drama,” she muttered and then she was on her way, leaving you with nothing to do.

You remember how much I hate Kevin? I hate Timido more, I'm sorry. She shows up like, twice. No I didn't forget she exists, I just wish she didn't

[lilyhoshikawa]

I have finished Lego DC super villains’ story mode and also almost 100% finished the earth map (100% missions and gold bricks but I have not touched the races) and I have to say, I didn’t have expect the last little bit of plot to leave such an impact on me, it actually got me thinking a lot abt my player character who I initially put together without much thought and now I kinda wanna… expand on her more… maybe I will make a post even

But for now, a jane review!

So anyways, my consensus for this game is that it’s really amazing. Some of the humor falls flat but a lot of it is surprisingly charming. It does not run great on switch lite but I wasn’t expecting it to, and aside from occasional crashes early on it actually was pretty manageable for such a huge game

I’m a little disappointed in the roster leaving out both some iconic heroes (somehow my gal Cass was ignored) and villains (I am shocked that Hush wasn’t included since he was in the series as far back as Lego Batman 1) but it kinda almost makes up for that with 12 total custom character slots for u to make ur faves and a lot of great customizer options. And I’ll also say that there’s a focus in the roster on a lot of new characters who haven’t appeared in games before or gotten much love, so I can appreciate that (shoutout to my guy Sea King who was literally in two panels and dead in both of them but somehow snagged a slot)

This was my first “modern” Lego game since I basically played Lego Star Wars 1-2 and compete saga, Lego Batman 1, and then stopped, but I jumped back into this one bc I didn’t wanna shell out $60 for new Lego Star Wars and it managed to keep my attention by reigniting the DC comics hyperfixation. I ended up playing this game basically nonstop for days until I had made an unreal amount of progress in it. From my experience I’ll say the jump from old-school Lego games to this one was disorienting for sure (every character having a whole set of abilities that differ for each one takes some getting used to) but it was a lot more natural than I was expecting, and I felt myself getting adjusted to it pretty quickly (which probably makes sense, as it is… y’know, a game for kids). The open world was also a really welcome addition and made traversing it a lot of fun, and while I still kind of miss some of the charm of the old games, this is objectively a huge step up

My biggest complaint has to just be the grindy and sometimes repetitive nature of the game (having to complete levels multiple times to get all the collectibles, having to buy almost every character in the roster at prices that you often struggle to keep up with) but a lot of that is just part of how Lego games have always functioned and in some ways part of their appeal so it almost feels wrong to complain about it

Overall I think it was a really really good experience and I’m looking forward to putting forth the stupid amount of effort it’ll take to reach 100% completion in the next, I dunno, couple of days or so if this pace keeps up

[oreo-line]

Treasure: All to Zero | Ateez

Hey all, here’s no.3, and the origin of what I like to call, Oreo Tries To Get Into Groups; a series where I look into a group’s available discography and try to get into their music! Ateez was the first group I did for a first listen review of their full available discography and now they’re one of my ults! As always, review has been modified from the initial version for better readability.

Note: those songs with asterisks are among my favourite songs on that album, and a double asterisk means it is my top favourite from the album. Songs are rated out of 10 and are affected by how much I enjoyed each aspect (vocal delivery, rap delivery, composition/instrumentation, concept delivery through music, vibes). For this reason, the ratings are 100% biased and aren’t meant to be an objective reflection of the artistry that goes into a song, simply my thoughts, likes, and dislikes.

...

So here we are at the beginning of my Ateez full discog listening journey. Some of the songs I have actually heard before, whether just at random or because I found it by accident or someone sent one to me, but I’ll do my best to remember what my first impressions of them were. I hereby apologize for the paragraphs long, rambling, scattered, fangirling mess I am for all of this lmao. I have absolutely no excuses, I’m just exposing my ass.

Anyways! On to business. 

So overall, this album sounds very summer-y lmao, which makes sense bc it was released in May. tbh ik I have to be in a certain mood to care/appreciate particularly thumpy kinda EDM music but I feel like the more I listen to Ateez the less I notice or maybe I just don’t really find I’m unable to tolerate it or something? Yeah I have no idea either.

Intro: Long Journey: and suddenly, english lmao. Wasn’t exactly expecting it but sure, why not. Loving the pirate ocean sounds lol. Time to BE the pirate I want to SEE in the world ig. 7/10 bc the intro reminds me of the Wings trailers w the proper english and overarching themes and etc but I don’t wanna rate it too highly bc it’s not even Ateez on the track and also it’s an intro.

*Pirate King: Wow wait, did this song originally go this hard? I don’t remember enjoying it this much lmao but it’s kinda fire. We love and stan a solid San and Jongho vocal as well as a dance centre Wooyoung and a fun Hongjoong and Mingi verse (no I did not know their names upon first listen. yes I did go and learn their names and voices and etc immediately thereafter). But anyways, Ateez’s passion and intensity is definitely part of what I think put them on the map as such insane rookies and this is a good example of the development of that wild intense EDM kinda sound they have going on, although the lyrics seem very much like Ateez’s style. 9/10. We’re almost at the sound but not quite.

**Treasure: ...so ngl I had to go back and listen to this twice bc I kept getting distracted by Wooyoung’s dance and cool af lavender hair in the mv… I’d say I’m embarrassed, but I am. Not. I really liked Mingi’s more chill rap and also the melody of the song overall, particularly in the chorus. The chill vibes are a great offset to Pirate King’s intensity. The lyrics feel very “I just debuted”-ish, with all the drive that comes with newly debuted kids. I think this might actually be my fave track off this album? Wow when was the last time my fave track was a title track lmao. 10/10 bc no seriously I really enjoyed it. I feel like the more I listen the more I love it.

Twilight: huh the flute is cool, the jazzy feel is a nice choice and I like the piano line. This feels very hot girl summer (at twilight obviously)? Lmao. Like running on a beach as the stars come out or something? And aww the lyrics are so cute, this is totally a fan song isn’t it? Also, San’s high notes are really soothing? 7.5/10 for some sweet soothing vibes after a long stressful day.

Stay: the lyrics are cute and the melody and feel are also very hot girl summer, but like. noon this time. Very average sounding kind of pop song, but Jongho’s vocals make it stand out for sure lol. Like if this was by another group I’d probably have written it off but for some reason I don’t mind it here. 6.5/10 bc while it was cute and fun I wasn’t overly excited about it.

My Way: Wow, I really like this piano instrumental opening and the build up in the prechorus. The sax is an interesting choice lol, not the kind of beat drop you expect. I don’t really like that strange sax screech in the bg much, but I really like the melody, and the orchestration choices are really interesting. Also, Jongho’s adlibs. Enough said. Weirdly when I was listening to this song out loud there was a strange clicking sound that was audible to the left, dunno what the heck that was about lol. The lyrics to this one I think are pretty decent, very comforting. The chorus is a little cheesy, but Hongjoong and Mingi are, as always, intellectuals so yeah. 6.5/10 for the instrumentals and the prechorus that I liked, otherwise this song is kinda eh for me. It would have been lower but I particularly liked Joong’s verse lyrics and so it’s not.

Overall, not my favourite album from them, even if it sticks to its summer beach vibe fairly decently. The sound is very much a generic summer pop sound, so I can only assume its bc Ateez hadn’t yet gotten into the more experimental hardcore type stuff that they’re known for. Or maybe those are only the title tracks and all the albums are like this lmao. One thing I will say is that their lyrics are pretty consistent in terms of their content and it’s stuff I can definitely appreciate!

[relacks]

Ode to Tumblr.com: brain vomit

First of all I want to thank you - whoever you may be - for reading this. Including my future self. Patrice, you found it valuable to take the time to tippity-type your silly little thoughts onto this weird ass website. To make statements into what seems like the void. To use this as an outlet of expression when all other forms of expression seem too daunting right now.

I’m very grateful for Tumblr and what it’s become, whatever that is. It’s not Instagram, or Twitter, where I would feel the need to self-censor or curate my content as much as possible. (Not that I haven’t tried to achieve a certain aesthetic here.) I don’t really post on those platforms because I feel like people care too much there. Family members, old classmates, new colleagues, that one woman I talked to on Tinder briefly. Do we care here? I sure fucking hope not. 

I mean, I care enough to come back, and continue coming back for over a decade of my life. And this wasn’t always the way I used Tumblr.

Disclaimer: I’m gonna be all over the place because I’m now listening to Esperanza Spalding and she might bring about thoughts and evoke feelings I’ve been needing to express for a long time. Anyway ...

I think the fact that I can look at my archive and see how my growth has informed what I shared and posted is a really beautiful thing. From the things I wanted to have and people I wanted to be with or look like. Feelings that I’ve had about the world and myself. And how that’s changed over time. 

It is a live record of my ascent out of adolescence. Being able to see what I valued. Seeing myself leave a place of self depreciation, and begin to grow a sense of self acceptance, and then self love. I can visually see when I began to devalue conventional, white beauty standards and embrace who I am and what I look like, and appreciate the beauty of others in this way. I can see where my desires became less superficial and object-oriented. 

Ya know, I could keep track of these things and write all of these silly little thoughts in a journal, but first, my hand hurts after like, two pages of writing. And second, there’s a weird release I get when I hit the post button. This piece-of-shit blog is my journal, but a journal that those in my life who know about my blog - or fellow weirdos also on this site - can experience with me. It’s the beauty of being on a public platform that hardly anyone (I know, at least) uses anymore. There’s a sense of intimacy I feel, and that I hope you feel, while you’re reading my brain vomit. (: 

All-in-all, I’m loving being able to reflect on what 13-year-old Patrice was feeling, 16-year-old Patrice, 20-year-old Patrice. I’m 24 now, and as long as I don’t end up relacks-deactivated452347567823645, I’ll continue sharing things that I relate to, things that bring me peace, things that make me feel connected to the world. But not so connected that I’m overwhelmed. That’s what Twitter’s for and I’m trying to wean off that shit. 

If you see me on here, actively reblogging cute pictures and typing my silly little thoughts with #brainvomit (despite how dark they may get), I’m doing OK. I’m thinking. I’m taking the time to think, and reflect, and breathe, and express. And to have a place to do and share all of this comfortably makes me feel incredibly grateful. Thank you for giving me the space to gush, Tumblr. And thank you reader - including my future self - for taking the time to read. 

More vomit to come. 💓

[rocorambles]

Patient 1: Addiction

Pairing: Toji x Reader

Genre/Warnings: Yandere, NSFW, Predator and Prey themes, Cum play, Knife play, Non-Con, Degradation

Link to: Prologue

Patient Name: Fushiguro Toji

Diagnosis: Adrenaline Addiction

Your brow furrows as you stare down at your first patient’s files. An addiction isn’t uncommon, but to adrenaline? You suppose it’s possible to become addicted to just about anything. Yet there are a million questions buzzing on the tip of your tongue as you turn to Uraume who just shrugs and says you’re better off hearing it straight from Toji’s own mouth.

Everything about this psychiatric facility is strange and you curiously stare at the elevator buttons as both of you descend, noting how each button has a name of a patient next to it with the final button having no label.

“Each patient has their own floor. They’ve been here for so long that we thought it would be more humane to give them ample room to live in instead of the standard patient rooms you typically see in other facilities. After all, we’re not here to treat them like caged animals, right?”

The humanitarian in you can’t defy that logic, but you can’t help but wonder if it’s safe for them to not be bound during your session, only to cringe at your own thoughts. They’re just ill patients, humans just like you, not prisoners. With that newfound determination you stride out of the elevator only to freeze when you hear the outer elevator cage slam close on your heels.

You turn, hoping to see Uraume right behind you, but your heart sinks when you see them safely on the other side of the metal fence, an eerie grin on their face as the actual elevator doors slide shut, leaving you with some parting words.

“I’ll see you when you’re done seeing all your patients today.”

Not even seconds pass before you’re scrambling to look for a button or anything to help pry open the elevator doors, fear overwhelming you as Uraume’s ominous farewell haunts you. But there’s no escape and you turn around to take in your surroundings, trembling and on the verge of tears.

Expansive is an understatement and you nervously walk around the dimly lit area, quickly losing track of all the rooms, corridors, and dead ends you bypass and amble through despite doing your best to keep track of everything. It almost feels like it’s meant to be a maze or obstacle course of sorts…

“Well, well, well. Look at the new little mouse I’ve found.”

Your heart threatens to burst out of your chest only to still in shock when you see a familiar face grinning at you, immediately connecting it to the manilla folder tightly clenched in your hands.

“Fushiguro Toji?”

“And you must be the new shrink. Follow me, doc. I’m sure you have a lot of questions. They always do.”

You don’t want to think about what’s happened to your predecessors, this “they” Toji’s referring to. You don’t want to follow this stranger. You don’t want to be trapped in this unknown environment with a highly dangerous patient and no means of escape. But what choice do you have? And with limbs weighted with despair, you trail after the dark haired man.

You’re surprised when Toji leads you into a room not far off from the police interrogation rooms you’ve seen in movies. A single table with a chair on either side are the only furniture in the room and you quietly take a seat across from where Toji has casually slumped himself down. But you note how his large stature easily overwhelms the small space, making the substantial table between you seem meaningless.

There’s silence as you fidget and fumble with Toji’s file, trying to find any professionalism and composure you have left as said patient continues leering at you, an amused smirk ever present on his face. It feels silly to treat this like any other examination, but it seems like the only thing you can do, what Toji himself is expecting of you.

“What is...what is adrenaline addiction, in your own words?”

You wonder if this is what opening Pandora’s box felt like, the question barely out of your mouth before regret instantly seizes you as Toji’s grin only grows wider and sharper, a crazed look in his eyes when he replies.

“It means I like being excited a little too much, doc.”

“And what excites you?”

You don’t want to know his response, but it’s the only way forward and dread fills you as he responds.

“Oh, lots of things. The burn of my throat and rush to my head after taking a shot. Gambling and the uncertainty of whether you’ll win or lose. The look of despair on my victim’s face when I shove a knife through their beating heart. The way it feels so fucking perfect to shove my dick in any tight hole it’ll fit in. But you know what makes me the most excited, doc?”

It’s theatrical how he tapers off, green eyes piercing you as he silently orders you to acknowledge him. And all you can do is shake your head side to side, tears threatening to fall from your eyes as you play right into his hands.

“What makes me the most excited is the thrill of hunting pretty prey like you.”

Instincts have you jumping out of your chair and bolting from the room. You don’t dare turn to see if Toji is chasing you down, his amused cackle at your expense trailing behind you. You’re blindly running, no sense of direction as you randomly turn left and right, your only prerogative to keep moving, hopefully farther and farther from your patient. Every corridor, every passage, every room looks the same and you struggle to breathe as quietly as you can despite the way your lungs ache.

You strain to listen, but it’s hard to focus on anything other than the drumming of your racing heart and you don’t hear the figure casually ambling towards you until you’re being roughly shoved face first into the wall you’re leaning on, a toned figure pressed against your back, caging you in.

“Now, now. You’re making this way too easy. Tired already?”

It’s a rhetorical question, one you can’t bring yourself to answer anyway, not with the way your teeth chatter and your body trembles in fear as Toji loudly inhales your scent while he buries his nose in the crook of your neck, tongue lazily licking a strike of your salty sweat.

You sob as he harshly bites down, not enough to break skin, but enough to leave you aching and hold you still as his hands wander underneath your clothes, groping and kneading your breasts and ass. You’re too scared to move, fearing the consequences of resisting, praying that maybe this is it, that you’ll be let off when he gets his fill of feeling you up. But you can’t help the way you yelp and instinctively struggle against his hold when he tires of your frozen state and decides to ruthlessly twist your nipples and shove a thick finger into your tight hole.

“There we go. Glad to know you’re still alive and kicking. I don’t enjoy fucking dead and broken toys like that pink haired bastard does.”

Pink haired bastard? Your mind briefly flashes to a hazy picture you’re sure you had seen in one of the patient files. What was his name-

You shriek as Toji shoves another finger alongside the digit already in you, sobbing as you feel him stretching your walls, relentlessly pounding his fingers in and out of you, his fingers painfully pulling at your nipples. All you hear is his grunts in your ears and you clench your eyes in disgust when you feel a long hard object grinding against you, knowing full well what it is without even looking.

He’s going to rape and kill you. This is how it all ends. And you wait for it, the searing pain of that massive shaft impaling you. But it never comes and before you know it you’re moaning as he twists and flexes until he finds that soft spongy spot inside of you, insistently rubbing and stroking it with curled fingers as he continues dry humping you from behind.

You’re so lost in the sensations that you don’t notice how your body is betraying you as it unconsciously grinds back against Toji’s hand, your ass shaking and pressing even harder against Toji’s cock. It’s funny how easily you’ve lost any common sense, but you’re not here to be a vapid bimbo toy. He’ll save that side of you for one his fellow inhabitants who’ll appreciate it more and he abruptly pulls his now soaked digits out of you, snorting at how you whine from the loss.

You look so confused, so stupid as he rapidly finishes himself off, hooking down your bottoms low enough for him to shoot his sticky seed all over the inner fabric of your panties. And he grins when you practically moan as he pulls your undergarments back into place, cruelly tugging a tad too hard and wedging his cum and the stained lace deep between your abused folds.

You’re panting, looking like a wreck as you try to ground yourself from the dizzying confusion of being pulled right from the brink of an orgasm, the emptiness of your edging making your head foggy. But then something sharp is being pressed against your vulnerable neck and it’s enough to have fear jolt you back to your senses.

“Don’t be such a boring slut. Time to run and hide again. It’s playtime, bitch. Or maybe you need me to cut you up a bit. Pain’s always a good motivator.”

He’s barely finished speaking before you’re shoving him and his knife away from you and he whistles in appreciation as he watches you race away again, taking his time to tuck himself back in his pants. You’ll need as much of a head start anyway to even try and remotely make some sense of this labyrinth he knows every corner of. Not that any advantage will actually help you much. Toji’s never had a prey he couldn’t catch.

How many times has he found you and released you after defiling you just a bit more every time? Neither of you can keep track and only when Toji has shoved his cock in all three of your holes, filling every orifice with his cum and fuckig you until you can barely walk does your session end. It’s almost comical how he has to quite literally drag you back to the elevator you had come from and he cruelly laughs at the white sticky trail you’re leaving behind you with your loose holes unable to keep in the copious fluids.

You barely register what’s happening, too exhausted, too fucked out of your mind to even be bothered by the rough friction of the ground against your body, only mildly stunned by the fact that the elevator you had frantically tried to re-enter is now innocently open. And it’s with muted despair that you realize what fate has in store for you as Toji presses the button of the next lower level.

Gojo Satoru

The neatly labeled name is all you register before the elevator doors slide open and you’re shoved out of it, blearily making out the sight of Toji tauntingly waving at you from inside the metal enclosure.

“See you at tomorrow’s session, doc.”

Your world goes dark as the elevator doors shut.

[chaseadrian]

Adrian dating a chubby girl and being crazy for her for the v-day requests, please 🥰

almost guarantee we interpreted "crazy" in different ways, anon. but i hope you like anyway :))

requests open through today!

designated smoking zone

tags: general, established relationship, trip to the hospital, asshole doctor, protective!adrian word count: 900+

It started when you were making a late night dinner, your hand caught under the knife you were using to slice a potato. Although you were pretty sure the cut wasn’t deep enough to need stitches, a hospital visit was still necessary.

Adrian was out as Vigilante, making the world a safer, deader place when you rang him up.

“I’m coming home, right now, I’ll take you.” Adrian’s voice on the phone was muffled, but concerned.

“No, no. It’s not a big slice, I can handle it myself. I appreciate you, though.”

“Seriously? No, I’m coming home to take you.”

“Seriously, Adrian, I will already be gone by the time you get here. Just do your thing, I’ll see you in a couple hours tops.”

“Mm. Okay. You call me the minute you’re out of those doors. I love you so so so much.”

“I love you too. I’ll keep you updated.”

Grabbing your keys and wallet, you left with a dish towel wrapped tight around your bleeding finger.

The doctor, to put it lightly, was a jackass. You were right about not needing stitches, and the man had acted like you completely wasted his time.

The nurse was lovely as she attended to your wound, applying butterfly bandages, which indicated that you were quite literally millimeters away from needing sutures.

The doctor didn’t know well enough to keep his mouth shut while she worked, and instead sat there looking at your medical history chart.

“You know, these injuries are common with patients in your weight range. There’s a lack of control with objects such as knives, power tools, ladders, and other common household items that pose a sense of danger. Do you take walks regularly? I think regular exercise might benefit you in regaining some of that control.”

You stared holes into him, “I was cutting a fucking potato, doctor.”

He raised his hands in defense, “Hey, now, no need to get snippy. I’m looking out for your best interest.”

“I’m gonna need you to get out of the room, please.”

The doctor stood up and handed the nurse the clipboard before realizing she quite literally had her hands full applying the bandages. He set it on the foot of your bed.

“Right, well, the nurse here will get you your discharge papers. You have a lovely rest of your evening, and just, consider what I said.”

He turned and walked out when he realized you wouldn’t be giving him the courtesy of a response. A courtesy he didn’t deserve.

“Ma’am, I am so sorry about his behavior. But, the good news is we’ve got you all situated. Take care not to get these wet, and in about ten days they should be good to come off. You’re gonna want to soak them in an equal solution of water and hydrogen peroxide. I’ll go grab your discharge papers and you should be good to go!”

You were quick to leave as soon as you were able, ringing Adrian as you walked to the car.

“Hey, angelface, how’d it go?

“Oh, you’re gonna love this.”

Retelling the story, Adrian was dead silent on the phone until you were finished and his voice had quieted to a perceptible anger.

“Babe, I did not love that. I’m going to run and grab us dinner before you get home. You want that taco place? I’m gonna get that. I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

He hung up before you could respond to tell him that you were only a couple streets away.

You came back to the same empty house you’d left.

Adrian had cleaned up the bloody potato mess in the kitchen, so you sat listening to the noises of the dark. An owl hooting outside the window, the occasional honk from the main street close by, the tv of the upstairs neighbor who had been so silent the past few days you thought they might’ve been dead.

You were zoning out to the orchestra of the city when the front door opening jolted you out of it.

“My girl! I’m home!” Adrian’s voice was sing-song as he held up a brown bag and came to give you a greeting kiss, his arm wrapping around you. “How’s your finger?”

You held it up to show him the bandages, and he pressed the tiniest kiss to it.

“Hey, definitely unrelated, but that doctor’s name was Dr. Hanna, right?”

“Yes…why?” You pulled away from him, trying to read his face. But, he was an open book so it wasn’t like, a challenging read.

He turned from you to drop the bag on the coffee table and plop down on the couch. He knew you knew, so he might as well just dive into the tacos.

“Adrian! Did you do something to that guy for being a dick to me?”

“No! No, of course not!” He yowled, bits of lettuce falling from his lips.

“I kicked his ass for smoking outside the designated zone.”

You threw your head back and laughed, before joining him on the couch.

Adrian turned to face you, one hand reaching to hold your face, the other sliding underneath your arm to wrap around your back. He leaned forward and kissed you, “Honest, it was just dumb luck that he happened to be the same doctor.”

“Right, and you were at the hospital just out of dumb luck too?”

He laughed against your mouth.

“Well, it was right next to the taco place.”

[mypoisonedvine]

peaches & cream || soft!dark Jake Wyler x reader

for @stargazingfangirl18​'s 5k challenge! I used the prompt, "the town golden boy isn’t as sweet as everyone thinks."

word count: 3.6k

warnings: smut (noncon), stalking/obsession, some degradation/negging (but lots of praise during the actual smut), kinda yandere vibes?, touch of breeding kink at the end, definitely flirting with the boundary between soft!dark and regular dark but I like to think it’s a fine line

“Sorry, but that’s a seasonal flavor,” the girl at the counter explained in a snarky monotone.

“Well, yeah, but isn’t it still… the season?” you pressed; normally you weren’t the sort of person to argue with a cashier over a milkshake, but the look she was giving you made you feel like she was holding out on you— especially when the promotional poster for the very thing you were trying to order was just behind her head, and said the flavor was available for two more days.

“We’re out,” she answered firmly, but then her face suddenly shifted to a much more pleasant expression as you heard the chime of the front door opening behind you.  

You felt his body hovering behind yours just as his hand laid on the counter beside you, caging you in.  It was even more unsettling with the context that there was a whole line of people waiting behind you already.

“I’ll get your usual,” the girl promised to the man beside with a flirtatious smile as she disappeared to the back, returning almost instantly with a shake in her extended hand.  “Peaches and cream milkshake— extra whipped cream, no cherry.  Enjoy!”

Your eyes widened at the reading of your own order.  “I thought you were out!” you protested, going completely ignored.

"If you were my girl, this sort of thing wouldn't need to happen."

You recoiled from Jake's voice in your ear, and he smiled in spite of your snarl, bringing the straw to his lips slowly.  With a shudder you walked away, deciding it was probably better to forgo a milkshake anyways— especially if it was a chance to avoid everyone’s favorite senior, the football king who basically owned the whole town for no other reason than being good-looking, athletic, and allegedly “charming” or whatever.

Of course, he followed you, sitting across from you in a booth and silently shooing his posse of fellow teammates to go off and give you two some space.  If only he would give you space.

“We can share,” he offered as he held the milkshake out towards you.  “I know it’s your favorite… it’s mine too.”

“I’ve lost my appetite,” you explained quickly as you pulled a book out of your backpack, intent on ignoring him since you couldn’t physically force him to leave.

He shrugged and returned to sucking on the straw, watching you unwaveringly as you tried to read your book— staring at the page was going well, but you couldn’t seem to actually get any words down.  Had you forgotten English as a written language or something?

“Could you leave?” you finally asked as you groaned and looked up from your book.  “You’re distracting me.”

“I’m literally just sitting here,” he reminded you.

“And it’s distracting!”

He smirked proudly.  “My presence tends to have that effect on people.  Nothing to be embarrassed about.”

You rolled your eyes, burying your face back in your book.  “You know, you may have everybody else fooled, but someday you’re gonna have to leave this pathetic little town and go into the real world where throwing a ball isn’t a career and nobody fawns over you just because you have the audacity to be attractive.”

He chuckled lightly.  “Right, because you have those big city dreams of yours, but believe it or not some of us like this ‘pathetic’ little town.”

“Well, of course you would,” you snorted.  “Your dad’s the mayor and your girlfriend’s the head cheerleader.”

“My ex-girlfriend,” he corrected, finally getting your attention enough to make you shut your book.

“What?” you blurted out.

“Yeah, she dumped me,” he explained plainly.

“Why would she do that?” you asked, making him look much too proud of himself again.  “Finally snapped out of the brainwashing, huh?” you added, effectively killing his smug expression.

“I guess you could say that.  She met some college guy from out of town… I think her parents liked me too much, she needed a bit more rebellion.”

“Well, my condolences to you,” you smiled, “and my congratulations to her.”

“I thought you hated her,” he scoffed.

“Well, now she and I have something in common: a complete lack of interest in you!”

“I mean, I wouldn’t go that far,” he smirked, “she still comes over every now and again to suck my cock.”

You choked on nothing, face getting warm at his crude language.  He didn’t talk like that with anyone else; it was so cruel the way he kept everybody in town under his spell except you, the way he let you in on his real darkness with no one else to confide in or believe you.  

It was so fundamentally lonely, being the one person who wasn’t in love with Jake Wyler.  It was even worse being the one person Jake Wyler loved.

At least, that was the word he used multiple times in his semi-anonymous letters, his incessant calls and emails, his speeches outside your window.  He’d actually cooled off lately, you wondered if maybe he had finally let go of this ‘the one thing I can’t have’ obsession and learned to appreciate his girlfriend (who, for all her personality flaws, was objectively gorgeous, and seemed to at least be nice to him if nobody else).

But now that she left him (which you were still trying to process, honestly), you were surprised he hadn’t already moved on to the next best wannabe model and/or reinstated his campaign to win you over.

Then again, the look in his eye kind of made you think you were about to witness the second one.

“You know, when she does come over, I can only ever finish because I’m thinking about you,” he revealed in a low voice.  You grimaced and slid out of the booth, stuffing your book into your bag and barely managing to throw him a goodbye before you dashed out.  

It wasn’t like you really thought you could get away from him— he had made it clear over and over that you couldn’t— but the idea of being crammed in that booth with him, surrounded throughout the diner by his adoring fans who somehow didn’t manage to overhear him when he said those awful things, made you feel nauseous.

What you should’ve considered was that, fans or not, those people were witnesses, and now that you were running out into the dark streets of the town and he was chasing after you, you didn’t have any.  It was just you and him, and when you turned into an alleyway to try to get home faster, even the dim glow of the streetlights couldn’t see you anymore.

“Hey,” he stopped you with a tight grip on your arm, pulling you back into him.

“Let me go!” you whined, trying to tug yourself away but only ensuring that his hand would leave a bruise on your arm.  

“I will when you just hear me out, okay?” he hissed, spinning you around to look up at him.  "Why don't you just give me a chance?  Don't you wanna be popular?" 

"I don't want to be anything that requires being within ten yards of you!" you spat.

He seemed bewildered, but you knew he wasn’t actually that stupid.  "Why?"

"Because you know why!"

He sighed, slumping his shoulders a little.  "Are we still on that, really?  I told you, you should take it as a compliment.  You know how many girls would kill to catch me jerking off in their panties?"

"You're sick, Jake,” you sighed, “and you're really good at hiding it from everyone else but I know what you really are.  You told me you needed help with algebra and I actually believed you, for months you were lying to me to get close so you could perv on me when you already had a girlfriend and two side chicks anyways— god, Jake, you're crazy!"

You yelped when he pinned you to the wall, blue eyes darker than ever.  "I really, really hate that word."

Against the wall, your back straightened as you felt the tone shift completely for a moment before he was back to his jovial self again, giving you a somber but almost-genuine smile.

“The only kind of crazy I am is crazy about you,” he defended with a laugh, leaning in a little closer.  “Why can’t you see that?”

As his eyes moved from your own to your lips, a renewed sense of fear shot through you.  “Jake…” you mumbled, apparently your feeble attempt to ask him to stop.

“Just one kiss,” he bargained, “and then I’ll let you go.  Okay?  That’s all I need.”

“N-no,” you whimpered, turning your head away as he leaned in even further.  “Stop.”

“Come on, it’s just a kiss, baby,” he cooed.  “Then you can leave.  Hey, you might actually like it.  You know, I think that’s what you’re really scared about… and I get it!  When I first realized I was in love with you, it was scary for me, too— I mean, I’m the most important guy in town and you’re just some bookworm, it’s sort of social suicide for me so I had a lot to worry about.”

There he went with his negging again, trying to bring you down to his level.  Your brain knew that, it saw right through it, but your gut still sank with doubt.

“But I know now that love is nothing to be afraid of,” he concluded.

“No, Jake,” you whispered, feeling tears well in your eyes, “I’m afraid that you’ll hurt me if I don’t do what you want.”

“Well, that is something to be afraid of,” he replied with the coldest laugh you’d ever heard; you didn’t hear any agreement, but the lack of denial was deafening.  “So just be my good girl and let me kiss you…”

You swallowed dryly, your eyes wide open and searching for anywhere to look but up at him.

He was so close now that his lips brushed against yours with his command: “say it.”

You stammered over your breath, not sure exactly what he was asking for, and you winced as you felt his grip tighten on your arms.

“Say, ‘kiss me’,” he clarified in a harsh whisper.  “Say, ‘please’...”

“Please,” you repeated awkwardly, hearing it in your voice but so clearly not your own words, “kiss me.”

He let his mouth intertwine with yours and your eyes were still wide open as he let his own fall shut, moving his hands to clutch your face gently instead as you gave a weak effort to kiss him back.

Objectively, he was good at this.  A lot of things were objectively true about Jake: as much as you forced yourself not to see it, he was handsome; as much as it didn’t really matter to you, a boycotter of all things sports, he was talented; and, as much as no one else realized it, he was completely deranged.  For every word of kindness from him there was another of anger.  For every love letter in your locker, there was a threat left scrawled on crumpled paper inside your bedroom, just so he could remind you that your parents would let him into the house if he asked and never question it.

Which was why it was extremely important that you did not enjoy this kiss.  You needed to hate the way his fingers traced over the pulse in your neck, the way his tongue tickled yours, the way his teeth just barely grazed your lip until your knees went a little weak.  

But wow, there was something primally satisfying about melting into his arms, feeling his strength support you like it was nothing when he held your waist and pulled you closer.

You could almost forget that it was him.  But then he mumbled your name into the kiss, nearly moaned it in fact, and it pulled you back to reality.  With a gasp, you pushed him away and blinked your eyes open, not even realizing you’d closed them; hating how quickly you’d started to give in to him.

“There, one kiss,” you mumbled, wiping your mouth with the back of your sleeve.  “I’m gonna go home now—”

“You can’t be serious,” he laughed incredulously.  “You’re gonna kiss me like that and tell me you don’t feel this, too?  We’re so meant for each other— we even order the same milkshake!”

“That doesn’t matter!” you denied.

“I love you!”

“That doesn’t matter either!”

You turned to leave but he grabbed you again from behind, covering your mouth with his hand when you opened your mouth to scream.  “Don’t fucking talk to me like that,” he hissed in your ear, “and don’t walk away from me.”

Fighting against his grip did nothing but exhaust you: he only needed one arm to hold you back as he dragged you deeper into the alley.  Your legs swung wildly and landed a kick to his shin, and he plugged your nose while he was covering your mouth so you couldn’t breathe.

“Listen to me, you stuck up little bitch,” he growled.  “I’m really sick of this ‘hard to get’ act.  I know you want me.  So shut up and let me show you what you’ve been missing out on, okay?  You gonna be good?”

In that moment, you would’ve agreed to anything for a chance to fill your lungs with fresh air, and so you nodded, the back of your head rubbing against his chest.

“You gonna be nice and quiet so nobody catches you getting fucked like a whore in this alley?”

Another nod, more feverish than the last, ended with a sharp inhale as he let go of your nose.  But he was still covering your mouth, his arm around you now feeling less like restraint and more like an embrace.

"I've wanted you for so long, you can't even imagine," he explained softly as he leaned down and kissed your neck, gripping your waist tighter.  "You and this perfect body of yours.  This smart little head that thinks too much…"

You swallowed dryly as his hand trailed lower.

"This pussy you've been hiding from me for much too long," he added darkly, roughly shoving his hand up your skirt.

You whined behind his hand but he didn’t seem to care; he pulled your skirt up and grinned at the sight of your panties— because he recognized them.

“I remember these,” he purred.  “They look good on you, baby, but they looked better covered in my come.”

Your cheeks burned with shame— you already hated yourself for still wearing the pair he’d tampered with, but it was harmless after a few runs through the washer, right?  You weren’t going to stop wearing your favorite panties just for him, that would mean he won, in a sense; or, that’s what you told yourself to justify not burning them.

“Don’t worry, they’re gonna be soaked by the time I’m done with you,” he purred, slipping two fingers between your legs and growling slightly.  “Well, actually, you’ve already done a lot of the work for me.”

He pulled the fabric aside and explored your pussy instead, tightening his grip over your mouth as you made little muffled yelps.  The rough pads of his fingers found and targeted your clit instantly, that megawatt smile pressed against your ear as he started to rub your bud harder.

“Mm, feels good, huh?” he taunted, moving even faster as your hips jolted unintentionally.  He stopped only to bring the fingers to his lips, humming at the taste of you which he sucked off of them.  “So sweet, babygirl— better than any peaches and cream milkshake, that’s for sure.”

The wet fingers trailed down your body again, finding your entrance that he suddenly pushed into; it was a little too much without any warning and it made your eyes shoot wide open, a squeak barely escaping your throat.

"Just as tight as I imagined, baby,” he sighed, “all those times I used your panties, or hooked up with somebody who almost looked like you from behind.  You’re gonna feel so good on my cock, I know you want it so bad.”

He took his fingers out of you to reach back and open his belt with one hand, the sound of the buckle matched in upsettingness only by the sound of his jeans sliding down to his thighs.

You heard your own breath loud and heavy against his hand as you felt his hard cock press against your thigh, a drop of precum smearing on your skin.  Your breathing halted suddenly, though, when he slid himself between your legs to rub his cock over your exposed and swollen pussy.

“Oh, babygirl, you really are too good to me,” he grinned, kissing your ear tenderly.  “So fucking wet and ready for me, huh?  You need it that bad?  You’re gonna get it, baby, ‘m gonna give it to you so good…”

Bracing yourself as best you could, you felt the head of his cock push against your entrance before he slammed in all at once, making you hiss in pain.

“Oh god,” he groaned, “fuck, you’re so warm…”

Already he was fucking into you roughly, pumping faster and deeper, paying no mind to your choked sobs of pain from the wide stretch.  Even when it stung it felt oddly good, and the underside of his cock seemed to slide perfectly over your g-spot with each movement until your eyes began to roll back in your head.

“So fucking good,” he moaned hoarsely as he braced you against the brick wall for leverage, reaching back down with his free hand to rub your clit again.  He chuckled when your legs quivered, and he must have felt your walls tighten around him, too.  “I wanna hear those pretty moans, baby, if I take my hand away are you gonna be good?” he asked darkly.  You nodded, enjoying the brief feeling of freedom that came from not having his hand over your mouth anymore.  But then again, it was humiliating that now he could hear your panting breaths, your desperate mewls that you failed to swallow down.

He made a sound that was almost like a laugh as he watched you squirm in his arms, one more way he had to lord this all over you, as if forcing you to take him in an alley wasn’t enough on its own.

His breath against your ear was hot and strained, each meeting of your hips to his accentuated with a little grunt from him.  It didn’t help at all that his fingers were rubbing you just right, with so much skill that you wondered if he’d somehow figured out how you touched yourself when you needed to get off.  Honestly, you wouldn’t put it past him to have spied on you before, even if you couldn’t figure out when or how.

The hand that used to cover your mouth slid up under your shirt and pulled your bra down, a large, rough hand groping each breast and pinching your nipples until you bit down on your lip to stay quiet.  For all the mocking and teasing he’d done before, he was pretty direct now— like he was trying to make you come as fast as possible, overloading your body with sensation.  

And did he have to be so fucking good at it?

“I know you’re close, babygirl,” he whispered in your ear, “just let go…”

“Jake, please,” you sobbed, too far gone to appreciate that no begging would make him stop now.

“Come for me,” he demanded roughly, fucking you even faster as he sucked a mark onto your neck, and finally it all came crashing down with a choked-out cry of his name and a gush of warmth dripping out around his length.

“Ohh fuck, there you go, fuck it feels good when you come for me,” he grunted, thrusting even faster.  “You’re gonna milk my cock with that pretty pussy, babygirl— you’re gonna make me come…”

“J-Jake, not inside!” you interjected, getting his hand back over your mouth in return.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he soothed, “waited too long for this to pull out now.  Feels too fucking good.”

Behind his hand, the difference between whines of hatred and moans of pleasure was irritatingly subtle.

“I love you,” he reminded you in a voice exhausted yet heavy with desire, “so fucking much…”

A few more erratic, brutal thrusts accompanied by heavy pants and he was gone; you could feel his cock pulsing with each rope of come that filled you, so deep that your head fell dejectedly with the realization you had no hope of washing it out now.

His hand fell from your mouth but he didn’t pull out for another few moments as he caught his breath, gently peppering your neck and cheek in slow kisses.  “Baby,” he finally sighed, breaking the crushing silence, “you’re so fucking perfect.  I knew you were made for me.”

I hate you, you wanted to cry out, but words escaped you as he hugged you tightly and pulled your panties back into place, soaking them with his come as it leaked out of you just like he’d promised.  He stuffed his cock back into his jeans and helped you adjust your clothes back to looking almost presentable, finishing it off by turning you around and smiling at you with serene pride before kissing your forehead.

"You're gonna make such a beautiful prom queen," he cooed, “especially if you’ve already got a nice little bump showing…”

His hand rubbed beneath your belly button for emphasis, making you whimper and force your eyes shut as tears rolled down your cheeks.

"Shh, don’t cry, baby,” he soothed, kissing your cheek softly.  “Trust me, you're gonna love being my girl."

[milliedazzledust]

I'll Come Back for You (Bucky Barnes imagine)

REQUEST: ANON - something where he is in winter soldier mode and protecting the scientist (y/n) where she is the only one who can sort of calm him down after a mission

ANON - winter soldier!bucky being protective over his scientist who’s forced to be take care of his health and she’s being kept there against his will too

ANON - Bucky Barnes request about how both reader and Bucky are each other support systems? It could be like a headcanon, how would the reader comfort him while how he comforts her so forth and so on

WORDS: 3506

A/N: So I don't know if I was inspired or if I just wrote too much, but I'm not sure this story's good. Anyway, feedback is really appreciated and I hope you'll like it :) (also don't forget to tell me if you want to be on my taglist ^^)

“What happened this time ?”

Her voice was only a whisper in the quiet room. The broken man silently sat on the examination table while she stuck a needle in his functioning arm. He didn’t speak, didn’t even flinch. This masquerade had started the moment she had set foot inside Hydra secret base. They had brought her against her will to take care of their most valuable soldier. It was always the same dance, rehearsed a million times since she had met him. After each mission, each murder, he’d come to her. She’d fix his physical wounds, take care of his arm and let him go.

More than often, she found herself feeling sorry for him. She knew what Hydra was doing to him, she’d heard the screams echoing in the distance. It would keep ringing in her ears for hours. Sometimes, the simple thought of picturing what he was going through was enough to bring her to tears. No one deserved to suffer this way.

The Winter Soldier was a cruel man, an assassin. She had seen him in action, had even been attacked the first time they were introduced. But despite being the necessary tool to take care of their valuable killer, she liked him. This wasn’t a place anyone could handle, not even him. And while she was aware of the danger Hydra represented, he was a different story. The man he once was had been trapped in a small corner of his mind, disconnected. His hands were his own, but his actions were dictated by an army that had invaded his head long ago. He was a machine turned on and off at will by the power of ten simple words.

“I was stabbed” Was his only answer. He didn’t give any detail, simply raised his shirt so she could inspect the injury.

“Do you feel any pain ?”

He blankly stared at an invisible point on the wall, avoiding looking at her. He was aware anyone could be listening.

“Soldier ?” She called him, stopping her movement and waiting for his response.

“I don’t feel anything” His voice was emotionless and a chill ran down her spine when he spoke. He was detached, impassive, a statue unaware he was capable of sentiment.

She cleared her throat, trying to stay focused on her task. She cleaned the wound, took his vitals, wrote down the conclusion of her examination and prepared what she needed to sew him up.

When she was about to administer the anesthetic, he suddenly grabbed her wrist. She caught her breath, frightened, but made no movement. For the first time that day, he turned his head to look at her. Whatever she saw in his eyes was enough to ease the tension in her shoulders and she relaxed.

“It’s okay” She whispered, a kind smile on her face. “This is propofol”

She knew he would recognize the name. She had spent countless hours explaining everything she was doing to him in detail so he wouldn’t be uncomfortable or scared. He was a super soldier that required extreme measures of treatment.

“No drugs,” He told her.

“You might regret that decision once I start to put the stitches in”

“I need to stay conscious,” He explicated, almost begging her. “Please”

She didn’t argue, only glanced at a camera behind her recording their interaction.

“Alright” She conceded. “I’ll switch to saline”

He nodded, grateful she wasn’t pushing. She turned her back carefully so her table was no longer in the camera’s field of view and he watched her emptying the needle and filling it with a harmless mixture of water and sodium chloride. Nothing that would put him to sleep.

“Have you ever been to Greece ?” She asked him out of the blue. He stared at her curiously. “I’ve always dreamed of visiting. It has the longest coastline in Europe, with so many islands between the blue Aegean Sea to the east, the Mediterranean Sea to the south, and the Ionian Sea to the west. Can you imagine how beautiful it must be ?”

She kept talking for a while about the country, the books she had read and the films she had seen about it. His eyes stayed on her the whole time, his head tilted to the side, wondering why she was telling him all this. Not that he minded, he loved listening to her. She had the power to calm him down. He was constantly on high alert, ready to fight whomever he was told to kill, prepared to endure whatever torture they had prepared, but this room and the woman inside were his only small moments of peace. Her voice was the music he desperately needed to sooth his soul.

“Why are you telling me this ?” He wondered out loud.

She smirked. “To take your mind somewhere else than here. Seems like it worked”

He glanced at his stomach and realized the stitches were already there. Too engrossed in her story, he hadn’t noticed or felt anything.

“How…”

“Funny how magical words can turn out to be, isn’t it ?”

She could swear she saw the flicker of an emotion on his face looking back between his wound and the woman, but just as quickly as it came, it was gone.

“Thank you, doc”

She hesitated a moment before gently taking his hand on her own.

“Be careful” She muttered. “There’s only so much I can fix”

“I will” He promised. “Are they … are they treating you right ?”

She shrugged. “If threatening to kill me is what you consider right, then I guess I’m a real princess in a castle”

He ran a jerky hand through his hair and seemed to be looking for the right words to say but never spoke.

“Can I ask …” She began, curiosity getting the best out of her. “What is your real name ?”

When his gaze fell on her, all she saw was pure panic. Her question, as simple as it may have been, had surprised him. He didn’t remember, didn’t even question anyone, because it hadn’t mattered. He didn’t need to be more than a ghost to be able to kill.

“I’m sorry” She apologized. “I shouldn’t have asked. I didn’t mean to…”

“I don’t know” He admitted.

She gulped and looked away. His eyes held too much confusion and despair. Coming face to face with the enormity that was this man’s fate was sometimes undeniably heartbreaking.

“Can I call you Winter, then ?” She suggested.

He seemed to ponder for a while before offering her a small smile. “Yes, yes I’d like that”

It hurt to see a glimpse of happiness on his face for something as simple as a name and the woman didn’t realize that what she had just given him was the shred of an identity. A tiny piece he would hold onto. He was living inside a nightmare he had no idea he was trapped into, and if she dared to help, she would pay it with her life. So all she had the power to do was give him a name. Make him feel alive again.

The next time she saw him was only a couple of days after, carried by two agents, head hanging low and barely conscious. His clothes were stained in blood and his metal arm seemed dislocated.

“Patch him up” One of the men coldly ordered. They dropped the injured soldier on the ground like he was nothing more than an object, not even human.

She rushed to his side, checking his pupils first with a flashlight to rule out any intracranial damage to his brain. She did the same on his chest with a stethoscope, searching for any potential life threatening injury. When she moved to his shoulder to inspect the metal bones, he regained consciousness. Maybe it was the sight of yet another scientist above him or the touch of her fingers on his skin, but the man was quick to react and got on his feet in no time. His human hand wrapped around her neck tightly and he pushed her body with force against a wall, choking her. She tried to speak, but the action had been so sudden and violent that she was unable to move a muscle. He was in a trance, eyes filled with hatred that she knew was not directed toward her. Whatever he was picturing in his mind had awakened the assassin. She was the threat and he was in a game of survival.

She whispered his name several times but it was only after a minute, when she was on the verge of passing out, that he seemed to realize what he was doing. He stared at her with wide open eyes and released her from his grip. Her body fell on the floor before she started coughing, struggling to catch her breath.

“I’m…” He tried to speak, looking down at his hands in horror.

“Water” She managed to whisper.

He brought the woman a bottle and tried to help her on her feet. When he reached for her, she involuntarily flinched. A pure reflex. She didn’t miss the sadness on his face as he recoiled from her.

“I didn’t mean…”

“I know. It’s alright”

“I could’ve killed you” He said it more to himself than to her.

“But you didn’t” She laid a hand on her chest, taking a deep breath to try and calm her heart rate. “What happened ?”

“You touched me,” He explained.

“I touch you all the time” When he smirked, she realized the double meaning behind what she had just said. “Hm … why would it be any different today ?” She immediately changed the subject.

“Usually, when I’m unconscious I can … sense them around me. Working on me. And I can’t move but I still feel the pain”

Once again she was at a loss of words against the heaviness that was the burden of his life.

“Are you sure you’re alright ?” He repeated almost in a childish voice.

“I’ll get over it, don’t worry” She tried to reassure him. It didn’t seem to work. He took a temptative step, making sure she wasn’t uncomfortable. He moved his hand toward her neck, deliberately going as slow as he could. His eyes stayed on hers, watching out for any sign of fear. “What are you doing ?” She said in a breath, a different kind of shiver rolling down her spine.

“I need to make sure I didn’t hurt you” The sincerity and concern she heard in his voice were unsettling. She stared back in disbelief, but didn’t move. This was the closest they had ever been and it almost felt unreal for both of them. Too good to be true, especially in a place of nightmare like this.

He tilted her head to the back, still looking at her, and softly brushed his thumb over her skin. A bruise was already starting to appear. She saw the change in his eyes, the regret and sadness when he lowered his gaze. He kept inspecting her from all angles possible, making her chuckle in the process.

“Are you done, doctor ?” She joked.

He tried not to smile but miserably failed. “Almost. Haven’t found a diagnosis yet”

This time she laughed.

“C’mon, I’m not the real patient here. I need to take a look at you” She glanced at his metal arm, still dislocated. He was avoiding using it and she had noticed.

He sighed but didn’t remove his hand from her neck. Instead, his thumb slowly reached her cheek and he gently stroked her skin.

“I wish I could get you out of here” He whispered. “You don’t deserve any of this”

“Neither do you”

He clenched his jaw and plastered a tight smile, refusing to acknowledge what she had just said. He lowered his arm and sat on the examination table without saying anything.

“I’m gonna … hm … I’m gonna need to cut your shirt open” She gulped, trying to keep her cheeks from getting any warmer.

The man smirked and grabbed a pair of scissors nearby that he handed to her. She took it but didn’t dare to look at him, too uncomfortable by the situation. As she cut his shirt higher and higher, her hands started to shake. He could see her shifting her weight from side to side and desperately avoiding any eye contact. She was embarrassed and he was enjoying every second of it.

When finally she had taken it carefully off his body, she huffed in frustration. There was no denying that he had beyond toned muscle structure, verged into defined and well built curves.

“Is it… is it alright if I touch you ?” She allowed herself to take a glance at him, and rolled her eyes when she saw the smirk on his face.

“More than alright, doc” He teased her.

The moment her hands came in contact with his skin, he involuntarily flexed his muscles. She took a sharp breath, trying not to lose focus when she cleaned his wounds. She looked up at him to make sure he wasn’t in any pain, only to realize he was already staring. What should have been a quick glance turned into something more, a moment that lasted a little too long. When he leaned in toward her, she suddenly seemed to notice the lack of space between them. She cleared her throat and took a step back.

“Quit flirting, Winter” She reprimanded him with a playful grin.

He laughed. It was the first time she heard that sound and she couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her mouth. He looked so carefree and alive, so human. She was finally meeting the man behind the assassin, and he troubled her even more than the silent killer.

“I kinda like to see you flustered, doc”

She ran a hand through her hair, trying to hide her obvious nervousness.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” She pursed her lips to keep from smiling.

“Sure you don’t” He sniggered.

She rolled her eyes. “I’m gonna need to put that shoulder into place”

Instead of talking, he grabbed her hips and considerably shortened the distance she had put between them. Her eyes widened from both the sudden gesture and the feeling of his fingers on her body.

“Go right ahead, doc”

She leaned in toward him to have a better access to the injury, ignoring the unexpected shudder. She was practically over him, a hand on his shoulder, the other on his broad back. If he felt any pain when she pushed the bones back into place, he didn’t show.

“All good ?” He muttered, heavily breathing. She was about to ask if he was okay but the words stayed stuck when she realized how close their faces were. He wasn’t hurt, no, he was perturbed by her presence. He could smell her perfume and see the hair raising on her neck. Whatever he was feeling, she felt it too.

“Do I make you nervous, soldier ?” She said, a smile building on her full lips.

“You have no idea, doctor”

She turned to face him. They locked eyes and, for a moment, none of them moved. The atmosphere instantly changed when he bit his lips. He bent closer and closer, and this time she didn’t push back. When finally he kissed her, she froze in place. He was about to draw back when she grabbed his neck, deepening the kiss. A sensation she couldn’t comprehend took over her whole body. He didn’t rush, took his sweet time lingering his lips over hers. She could swore her knees would have given out if he wasn’t holding her in place. Her chest was fluttering and she lost all sense of time. He pulled back from the lack of oxygen, but not before caressing her mouth one last time.

“Too much?” He inquired quietly.

She shook her head, laughing. “No. Just enough”

“I’ve been dreaming of doing that for a while” He admitted.

“Quite the change of attitude. I could’ve sworn you wanted me dead only ten minutes ago” She joked.

He pouted, not particularly happy she was reminding him of his previous outburst.

“You’re all set up, Winter” She announced after one last look over his chest. “No major damage”

“Have you checked my heart ?” He joked with a smirk. “I think it’s beating a little fast”

She coughed to try and hide her laugh.

“I’m afraid that’s not fixable” She started to write her report, ignoring his lingering gaze on her. Her brain was still fuzzy from the kiss they shared. “Unless I stay away, which would probably ease your … discomfort”

“Who said anything about discomfort ? That’s a kind of pain I’d rather enjoy”

She raised an eyebrow, not missing the way her own heart palpitated.

“Don’t play with fire, soldier”

He smirked. “Between us, I’m trying to delay the moment I’ll have to go through that door again”

This time she lost all joy and raised her head from what she was writing on her report to look at him.

“You’re strong enough to leave this place, you know”

“Leave where ?” He asked.

“Somewhere you’ll find who you really are”

“Does that somewhere include you ? ‘Cause you should know I won’t go without you”

She walked up to him and took his hands.

“Save yourself while you still can, Winter” She sadly replied.

“What about you ?”

“I’m just … collateral damage” She exhaled.

He gently pressed his forehead to hers.

“I promise I’ll come back for you after that last mission”

“I’ll hold you onto that”

He planted a soft kiss on her lips, making her forget once again where they were and what their reality was.

“I’ll take you to Greece” He whispered. “Just the two of us. Wouldn’t that be great ?”

“It’s a date” She grinned, making him laugh.

“You’ve got yourself a deal. We’ll get out of here” He swore. “And I’ll take you dancing under the stars of Mykonos”

He didn’t know then that he would never have the occasion to keep that promise. They would have more moments, stolen from the chaos of this place, but nothing more. Weeks later, he would hear rumors about treason and compromising positions. He would understand too late they meant her. She was his weak point, and the Winter Soldier couldn’t have any weaknesses. She was disposable, he was an assassin with superpowers. All the recordings they had proved he no longer could be operational so long as she was still breathing.

“Buck, you alright ?” A voice suddenly spoke in the agonizing silence.

He turned around to his friend, brushing the tears he didn’t realize had started to fall. Standing in the empty room, he couldn’t move away from the dried patch of blood on the floor.

“Yeah, I just need a minute” He shook his head, trying to make the painful memories disappear.

The man behind him began to inspect the place, searching through scattered papers around a desk.

“Dr. Y/N Y/L/N” He read.

Bucky closed his eyes, clenching his jaw. The simple sound of her name was enough to widen the open wound inside his chest. He sat on the examination table one last time, without her. Forgetting he wasn’t alone, he let himself wander into his most precious memories. He remembered the taste of her lips, the smell of her perfume and the touch of her skin. Every detail engraved in his head forever.

“Did you know her ?” The person asked.

“Yeah”

The man stopped what he was doing and observed the former assassin for a solid minute. He looked heartbroken.

“Bad memories ?” He inquired.

“Not in this room” Bucky sadly smiled.

“What happened ?”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Steve”

The Captain hesitated for a moment but didn’t push. He was aware his friend was still healing and whatever the place was, it was part of his pain.

“Is she dead ?” He only questioned.

He gulped and tilted his head backward to keep the tears at bay. “They took her away from me” His voice cracked when he spoke. He was not able to stop the violent sob that escaped his mouth. He wanted to say so much more but the lump in his throat was far too heavy.

“I was too late,” He whispered. “I promised I’d come back for her but I was … too …”

His shoulders started to shake as tears ran down his bloodshot eyes. Steve rapidly closed the distance between them and hugged his friend, letting him express his sadness. They stayed there until he was calm enough to take a deep breath.

“You ready ?” The Captain inquired.

The broken soldier silently nodded.

“Where to now ?” Steve asked him. “You’re free to go anywhere you'd like”

“Greece. I have a date in Greece”

Taglist below the cut

@partypoisonsblog - @tylard-blog1

[thefanficmonster]

Rumors

Corpse Husband x Bimbo!Reader (Female)

Warnings: Mentions of Slut Shaming, Swearing

Genre: Fluff, Tiniest bit of Angst, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: When some rumors start floating around, every content creator does their best to either ignore them or defuse the situation. However, sometimes, the fans attempt to do the defusing themselves which only leads to a worse disaster. That’s the case for Corpse whose fans were quick to jump to his protection of some ‘false’ rumors.

Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your request, it was a joy to write. I’m sorry for how long it has taken me to complete and post the fic but here it finally is and I hope you enjoy reading it at least half as much as I enjoyed writing it! Love, Vy ❤

Corpse cracks his knuckles, then his shoulders, then his collarbone, then the his neck. He clenches his jaw as he breathes steadily and rhythmically, trying to control an overwhelming wave of anger that he has never felt before. This is a situation he’s never had to deal with nor did he ever think he’d have to deal with and address on a fucking livestream on top of all, but here he is now, doing his best to count to ten and not go on a Twitter responding spree, calling people out on their bullshit. He wanted to do so, he still wants to, but he was stopped in his intentions and brought to a calm mindset where he was swayed into dealing with this the civil way and not by roasting the fuck out of any and every foul-mouthed person he’s seen on his Twitter timeline.

He can’t really guarantee and civility during the stream either, he’s aware his tolerance is as thin as a stretched out, old rubber band and is a slight tug away from snapping and allowing him to unleash hell on these people because of who he’s been seeing red these past few days. 

Let’s not risk a misunderstanding here - Corpse absolutely loves and adores his fans, but seeing this behavior from them is quite upsetting and disappointing. When he uses the terms like ‘assholes’, ‘jerks’ and ‘rude motherfuckers’ he isn’t referring to them. He knows they are good people, but are using the completely wrong tactic of defending him, not to mention he doesn’t even need defending. Even if he did, he’s more than capable of doing it on his own and not getting other people involved.

“Hello everyone, hope you’re doing well.“ He finally settles on saying, officially kicking off the stream. If there’s any indicator of the serious nature of this stream, it’s probably the lack of lo-fi and the lack of even attempted playfulness and cheeriness in his voice. That’s how you know shit isn’t to be messed around about. “I just realized I didn’t specify what I’ll be doing in the Tweet, but I’ll tell you now, so those who aren’t interested in the subject or want to steer clear of the drama can leave. However, I wouldn’t advise clicking off considering this will be an overall, how do I say this, rant, of sorts? It’s meant to knock some sense in the people who have been spreading hate for a specific person on all social media platforms she’s active on.“

The majority of the viewers are already familiar with the subject, some even guilty of spreading the hate Corpse mentioned, but there are a few that are completely clueless - the ones actually not interested in online drama, not just saying they ‘hate drama’. With those people in mind, Corpse takes to addressing the issue from its very beginning.

“So, for a month now, me and this streamer, who’s also a TikTok star, by the name of Y/N have been interacting a lot on social media. She’s an incredibly sweet girl that a lot of people have prejudice towards. She’s very misjudged and misunderstood because people see he solely as her content, if that makes sense. They only know she’s that streamer who wears revealing clothes on her streams and posts risqué pictures on her Instagram. Like, no.“ Corpse cannot even fully believe he has to address this and that slut-shaming people is still a thing in the twenty-first century. He closes his eyes for a moment, fist tightening and his knuckles turning white, “I don’t understand how so many people can be so shallow and just plain jerks towards her in general, but then again - this is especially for my fans, the members of my fandom - I don’t understand the need you guys feel to put Y/N down to defend me from some ridiculous rumors as if it’s the first time I’ve had to deal with people talking shit for attention or to get someone canceled.“ He sighs, reminding himself to slow his roll as to not confuse any viewers who still don’t know the full story, “Anyway, back to the timeline of events. So, considering we’ve never interacted before, all the replying to comments, retweeting, liking posts and whatever sparked some dating rumors. Isn’t that just fucking hilarious - you see two people interacting on social media and the first thing that comes to mind is that they’re in a romantic relationship. Where did the friendship go? Does no one value or consider friendships to be a valid type of human relation anymore?“ He runs a hand through his hair, making another pause to clear his mind and prevent his frustration from overflowing. He promised he wouldn’t lose his cool and would remain calm and collected, but the more he talks about it the tighter he clenches his fist and the faster his heartrate is. His neck and ears are red from the tension he feels all over, almost like he’s physically restraining a raging wild animal and not just his own thoughts and emotions.

There’s layers to his anger, the lower ones - aka the ones he’s yet to get to - will be a nightmarish test of his self-control, he already knows it. Judging by how much of a toll this rant has already taken on him, his patience and control growing thinner and thinner, he’s not sure how he’ll power through the last layers without his voice raising awfully high in volume and his fists searching for some object to punch. To an ignorant eye, his reaction would seem exaggerated and overboard, but little does that ignorant eye know...

“When some of my fans saw those rumors, they reacted very badly. It was quite disappointing to see. Guys, I appreciate you standing up for me even though you shouldn’t do that - I can defend myself, not that this was a matter I needed defending from to begin with. But just the way some of you went about it was horrifically wrong and quite upsetting, to me but especially to Y/N herself.“ He can feel it, the aggravation growing, bubbling up in his chest, “What I saw disgusted me, I’m not gonna sugarcoat it. The things some of you were saying...I couldn’t believe you are in fact the same people who are my fans, my lovely fans who I’ve always thought so highly of. Never did I think you could be able of slut-shaming so vulgarly and grossly, I couldn’t believe what I was reading.“

He has every right to be upset - the things being said about Y/N were truly awful and a lot of things being said were meant to defend Corpse and defuse the rumors, doing so while stomping all over Y/N and her content. Rightfully so, many of her fans were outraged and quick to jump to her defense but were unfortunately outnumbered, leading Corpse to believe not many of her fans are actually real or as dedicated as his which only fueled his fury further.

Anyway, let’s take a look at Y/N’s point of view. Being a content creator for as long as she has, refusing to change her style no matter how many people disagreed and insulted her about it, she’s grown quite used to people spitting insults at her on every social media possible. It’s sad how throughout the majority of her content creating career she’s only had haters, creeps and fake fans watching her videos and streams. Rare are those in her fandom who’d actually stick up for her and defend her in ‘scandals’ such as this one. However, no amount of experience with dealing with hate could have prepared her for this outpour of some of the meanest shit she’s ever heard and been called in her life.

Y/N likes the content she makes, she’s comfortable in her skin and loves her body. She loves showing it off too and nor she nor anyone who wants that deserves to be shamed for who they are and what they do, especially when they aren’t hurting anyone and their content is still appropriate. People have always bashed her for all elements of who she is: her appearance, her clothing style, her streams, her gaming skills, her voice on occasion. She can count the instances when she’s received positive feedback on the fingers of her hands which would depress anyone else but not her. She’s always created content for her own amusement and entertainment so people’s opinions never really bothered her. Until now, until this very drama that has hit a specific nerve, an insecurity of hers she’s never talked about. The comments such as:

(Vy Speaking: Comments containing slut-shaming ahead, go to ### if you want to skip)

“Corpse would never date a slut like her“

“Corpse dating this thot? Please internet stop being ridiculous“

“Corpse ain’t a pimp, y’all need to chill“

“Even if they datin they gon break up soon - whore stays a whore“

###

bothered her far more than she’d like to admit. She has no one to open up about it either, she knows what she’ll get in response if she does - she’ll be told it’s her fault. Her fault because of the way she dresses, the way she talks and acts, because she chose this career to begin with. All her fault. The only person she can turn to she refuses to because she doesn’t want to be a bother - not after so many people confirmed her worries that she’s not good enough for him already anyway, the least she can do is avoid bothering him the best she can.

And that is exactly why this has upset Corpse so much.

“Here’s a little message specifically meant for those who claimed I’d never date someone like Y/N or specifically Y/N. You better listen carefully: Don’t you ever, and I mean EVER slut-shame my girlfriend or any other person ever. I cannot believe I have to explicitly remind you that your behavior isn’t ok. You should fucking know that your behavior isn’t right and that you’re a massive piece of shit for saying those awful things about others you judge solely on appearance and clothing. Does it surprise you that I am, in fact, dating Y/N? If you say yes for the reason you think she’s not good enough for me or that I deserve better, please get the fuck out of my fandom. No one disrespects my girl and gets away with it. That’s final!“

Though still under the influence of a flurry of negative emotions, overhearing Corpse literally telling people to exclude themselves from his fandom for being mean to her, Y/N’s taking a step towards emotional recovery knowing her boyfriend will always have her back. He’ll always be there to prove people wrong, defend her and stand by her. He’ll be there to catch her when the hate knocks her off her feet.

But most importantly: he’ll never ask her to change. Not her style, not her clothes, not her personality, nothing. He fell for her the way she is and for who she is, and he will never allow anyone to try to change her either. For someone who’s never had much support all her life, a single speck of support overpowers all the hate within the blink of an eye. Corpse will always be her knight in shining armor, the knight who defeated all the hateful demons by just entering her life. And though she’s still struggling with the ‘Am I good enough for someone so wonderful?’ and ‘He deserves better, doesn’t he?’ questions, with his hand holding hers, she’ll never let those doubts and insecurities overpower her.

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[chosonore]

cynosure

cynosure [noun. one that serves to direct or guide; a center of attraction or attention]

pairing: sukuna/f!reader

summary: in which sukuna re-discovers being human one aspect at a time, through many lifetimes, at the price of losing you over and over.

wordcount: 8.7k

content/warnings: reincarnation au, slow burn but also not really because there's only hints of romance? language, it's not canon at all, just pretend sukuna was never sealed away, lowercase is intended

a/n: this is more self-indulgent tbh sukuna is probably uncharacteristically soft? sometimes i'm reminded of the fact that he used to be human and while we don't exactly know how he became a curse just yet, i kinda felt sad about it lol i'm too sympathetic with everything, it's gonna kill me one day fhuierhfa a lot of these moments are based on my own experiences, where i had to remind myself that even the small things in life are really good and important, especially during the pandemic. that being said, i hope you enjoy and stay safe everyone :) (and please don’t judge me too hard on this lol i haven’t written in like what. six years?)

001.

“oh,” you stared at the tall, pink-haired man in front of you. “i didn’t think anyone would be here around this time…” he stared back at you, not replying nor making any move to scoot over so that you could sit on your bench. it was only then that you noticed the black markings framing his face and adorning his wrists. you were a little dumbfounded - your mother had always said that you had a poor survival instinct. though you supposed that his pink hair eased your nerves a little; surely someone with pink hair couldn’t be as evil. but you couldn’t recall ever seeing someone like this around the proximity of your village. maybe he was a vagrant. 

“i don’t mean to be rude but… that’s my bench and i would appreciate if you could maybe… scooch over?” you asked gingerly, not wanting to upset the stranger. you approached him slowly, grasping your basket tightly. if he got a little rowdy, maybe you could just wack him with the basket, right? although it probably won’t hurt but it surely would stun him long enough for you to run.

“i don’t see why i should move just because it’s your bench,” the stranger answered gruffly, crossing his arms. were you naive or just stupid? “do you not know who you’re talking to, woman?” 

you cocked your head to the side, not sure what he meant. maybe he was one of those famous poets or musicians that your parents liked to talk about. you weren’t entirely sure. even though he sounded annoyed, the look in his eyes didn’t quite match the hostility - he looked rather bored, unamused even, but not hostile. maybe you could humour him a little. “am- am i supposed to know you? i’ve never been outside of the village so i don’t know much. only what the merchants tell me. i apologize if i’ve offended you,” you explained hastily, then pointing at your basket. “i just came here to enjoy the sunrise. um, today is my birthday, so i treated myself to some dessert!”

“if- if you scooch over a litte, i could share some with you…” you tried to bargain with him. now you were truly starting to sound desperate but this was your favourite spot and it was the first time in a while that you had a free day to relax. out of all days, just why did he have to be here now? you’d be damned if you let your day get ruined by this unfriendly stranger. 

“are you trying to bribe me?” the stranger narrowed his eyes at you and you thought this was it. he was going to kill you and bury your body in the forest and your parents would come look for you, only to find your empty basket and then start a huge search party to find you and- the pink haired man moved to the side, refusing to look you in the eyes. “sit.”

you let out a squeak in glee, quickly taking a seat beside him. he watched in silence as you unwrap your desserts, glancing at the objects in question. even though you’d offered to share with him, he didn’t actually expect you to give him some of your food. sukuna was surprised when you handed him a… round squishy thing? 

“what is that? how is that going to satiate me?” he asked, almost offended, which made you giggle. you didn’t reply, instead thrusting the mochi towards him until he begrudgingly took it, closely inspecting it in suspicion. 

“that’s a daifuku mochi. it’s made out of rice flour and filled with red bean paste. but come to think of it… do you even like sweets? i’m sorry if you don’t particularly enjoy it,” you explained and grabbed one as well. you were about to bite into your mochi when you saw the stranger opening his mouth, ready to devour the entire mochi in one go. in horror, you quickly grabbed his wrist to stop him, only to have him suddenly pin you down and tower over you.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry!” you hastily said, now suddenly aware of the dark, threatening aura that he was emitting. maybe he was a killer after all. “i just didn’t want you to eat it in one go! they’re kind of difficult to eat in one go… plus you’re supposed to savour and enjoy it, take your time eating it!” 

sukuna stared at the girl in disbelief, you’d grabbed him out of nowhere just to stop him from eating too fast? not only were you not aware of who he was, you apparently did not know how to be cautious around strangers. it irked him that you were acting like he was a harmless human being. so much so that he briefly contemplated killing you. “who are you to tell me how to eat?” he growled at you, not softening his grip. he saw the panic and fear in your eyes but for some reason, he couldn’t quite put a finger on it, it didn’t fill him with joy as it usually did.

“i’m just telling you how we usually eat mochi!” you harrumphed, now annoyed that he was acting like you just committed murder. “you didn’t know what these were, so i was just trying to explain! food is supposed to be enjoyed, not ravished all at once. you have to appreciate your food because there might be days where you won’t have any. and besides, enjoying and properly tasting your meal is the least you can do to show gratitude to the person who cooked it for you.” sukuna let up and sat back on his previous spot, seemingly accepting your answer. you sat up, adjusting your yukata and pouted at him. what a rude stranger! you at least expected an apology from him but seeing that he was already taking a bite from his mochi, you guessed you should just let it go. it wasn’t worth getting angry over anyways, not on this day.

“why are you looking at me like that, little girl?” sukuna questioned, taking another bite from his mochi. he did actually enjoy it and it took every bone in his body not to hastily eat more and to savour it like you’d told him to. maybe this wasn’t so bad after all, it made him think about his meals a little more. not eating for the sake of eating, but for enjoyment, he mused. sort of like living for enjoyment, not for the sake of living. 

“you never told me your name,” the girl replied innocently. sukuna sighed. so you really weren’t aware of who he was. “my name is y/n! now it’s only fair if you tell me, especially because i shared my food with you. please?”

before sukuna could reply, he sensed someone quickly approaching. they were hiding somewhere in the forest; it likely was a jujutsu sorcerer, trying to exorcise him. he could deal with them later, but not here, not with you around. the girl looked at him in disappointment when he abruptly stood up, turning towards the forest behind them. unfortunately, he had the inkling that you wouldn’t let it go until he answered: “my name is sukuna, king of curses.” your eyes widened in recognition but you didn’t immediately react or scramble away from him, most likely frozen in fear. 

“now go. someone is coming and you do not want to be in the crossfire.”

002.

as a seamstress, you’ve encountered all kinds of customers. ranging from rude and bratty to eternally grateful, you’ve seen it all. your supervisor had always told you to remain calm and polite, to just adhere to their wishes to not cause any ruckus. after all, people of status often assumed that they were untouchable and could treat others poorly. it wasn’t worth the hassle to start a fight with them, you could lose your job after all. there was moments you’d have to stand up for yourself but this wasn’t it. fortunately, your employer paid you well, enough for you to provide for your family. the customers were high-profile after all.

you looked at the clock on the wall, your next customer was supposed to come soon. it was a nobleman that apparently travelled here from far away, having heard that the store offered beautiful, one of a kind fabrics. you just hope that he wasn’t rude and that you could leave in time. you’d been working overtime for weeks now, taking every appointment and customer that you could get. your mother’s birthday was approaching and you’d been saving up to buy some of the soft and silky fabrics to sew her a new yukata. your mother had always sacrificed her own comfort to buy the best items she could afford for your siblings and you and now that you were older, you could finally treat her to something nice as well. your employer was even willing to give you a small discount and you gratefully took up on her offer.

the chime of the doorbell made you look up, the good feeling in your stomach slowly fading when you saw who entered. you were familiar with the customer after all; he was well known in the area, being a rather volatile and sometimes scary aristocrat who had the reputation to be particularly difficult and having outrageous demands. you hastily stood up, brushing the wrinkles out of your clothing and walking over to greet him. you bowed politely, taking the outerwear that he took off and placing it on a nearby armchair. “sir, i’ll bring you a few samples shortly. do you have any colour or pattern preferences?” you asked him, placing a pot of tea and a cup on the small side table for him to enjoy. you made note of his wishes and disappeared in the storage room to pick up the samples. the customer had made himself at home, eyeing you scrutinizingly. he made you queasy, looking so incredibly unfriendly and you could tell that you were not going home early tonight.

you showed each of the fabrics to him, explaining what materials they were made of and what occasions they were good for but with each explanation, he just looks more and more uninterested. not to mention the snarky remarks he made, seemingly not happy of the choices you presented him. you were running out of options and you didn’t know what else to do to please him when suddenly you heard someone enter the shop. both the customer and you looked over confused - you weren’t expecting any more customers today, it was already late after all. a tall, pink-haired man entered the shop, scowling at your customer. you jumped slightly; he looked scary and you were terrified, not sure what to do in this situation. not only were the black markings on his face and body terrifying, there was also a threatening aura surrounding him, dark and slowly spreading out, all your instincts were screaming at you to run. should you politely ask him to leave? he looked like he wouldn’t take it too well. before you could ask him whether he was looking for something, the stranger spoke up: “you know who i am, leave.”

your eyes widened, slowly inching back towards the back of the store. you were not aware of who this man was but by the looks of your pale-faced customer, he surely did. “this is outrageous!” he exclaimed indignantly, jumping out of his seat. “you can’t just burst in here and demand that i leave! i have an appointment! are you aware of how long the waiting list is? this is the finest shop in the entire prefecture and i would rather die than to give up my spot for a scoundrel like you.” the stranger raised his eyebrows at the shorter man, clicking his tongue in annoyance. you slowly reached out to grab your pair of scissors. they probably weren’t of much use but it made you feel more safe, knowing you could at least somehow defend yourself.

“oh? you would rather die? i’m sure that can be arranged,” the stranger threatened and it was with horror that you watched his fingernails, sharp and pointy, grow in size. he wasn’t human, you’d just encountered a monster. he would kill you and it wouldn’t take him much effort to do so, you were sure he could just stab you with those fingernails. your customer squeaked and left the store in panic, slamming the door in the process, while you quickly hid behind the counter. you hoped he would leave you alone, you didn’t want to get involved. this wasn’t your problem, you were innocent and it was an unfortunate coincidence for you to be here. 

“stop hiding,” the stranger commanded, slowly approaching the counter. you peeked from below the counter, holding your breath. what else could he possibly want from you? demons surely didn’t need money. oh god, was he going to kidnap you?

he swiftly rounded the corner and knelt down to take a closer look at you - you couldn’t react fast enough, he’d already grabbed your chin and made you look at him, turning your head from side to side as he examined you. his fingernails were slightly digging into your skin, making your face scrunch up in discomfort. “so it is you,” he exclaimed in a low voice, then abruptly standing back up. you were confused - what did he mean by that? at least he didn’t kill you, at least not yet. but what else could he possibly want from you? “i need a new kimono. that scumbag just left anyways, make one for me instead.”

a kimono? a simple kimono? you couldn’t believe what you just heard. this demon just came in here, threw a fit but all he wanted was a simple kimono? you couldn’t help but scoff at the situation though it probably was difficult to enter a store without people fleeing or refusing to serve him. while he did look human, the markings on his face made it difficult not to feel threatened. but why did he know you? you had never seen this man in your life before. not in passing, not on drawings, nowhere. no matter how hard you wracked your brain, you just couldn’t recall. “d- do you have any- any colour preference?” you questioned him, watching how he took a seat and grabbed himself the cup of tea. 

“white,” he answered curtly, taking a sip from the tea. “i’ll leave everything else up to you.”

you felt uncomfortable but there was nothing else you could do than follow his orders. you grabbed a few plain white fabric samples and slowly inched over to him, holding them out with your trembling hands. “what?” he deadpanned. you huffed in frustration. 

“sir, you should… you should choose the fabric. it’s your kimono after all, you might not like the feeling of the fabric or it might not be a good fit for your everyday life,” you explained.

“i don’t care, just choose whatever. i’m above the comfort you stupid mortals choose.”

“that’s stupid,” the words left your mouth quicker than you could stop yourself and you slapped your hands over your mouth. the stranger looked at you as equally shocked. “i mean- i mean there’s nothing wrong with indulging in comfortable clothes!” you explained quickly, pressing the samples into his hands. “see you wouldn’t like scratchy clothes, right? or fabric that quickly makes you sweat or feel too warm! i always talk to my customers about what kinds of fabrics they would prefer… i believe life is too short to wear ill-fitting clothes or ones that don’t feel comfortable! good clothing should make you feel like… like a warm hug.”

the stranger didn’t look like he understood what you meant, making you scoff again. some people really didn’t care about what they wore and how they looked like and it just bothered you. good quality fabrics and well tailored clothing could make you feel confident and safe, even in the worst situations. how could you possibly relax if your clothing was maybe scratchy or ill-fitting? “i’ll prove it to you!” you exclaimed and left the room to gather your supplies, then coming back to instruct him where and how to stand so you could take his measurements. now that he was towering over you, you were suddenly very aware of how tall and broad he was. you felt like a dwarf next to him. up close, you noticed more details about him. he was attractive, you couldn’t deny that - the long wispy eyelashes, the watchful ruby eyes and his soft-looking pink hair. if he picked up on your staring, he didn’t comment on it.

once you were done taking notes and choosing fabrics, you gave him a slip of paper, noting down time and date for him to come back to pick the kimono up. “as for payment-” you started but the stranger dropped a huge bag of coins on the counter. you gasped, pushing the bag back into his arms. “sir, that’s too much! i’ll calculate the exact price for you but-” 

“take it,” he insisted and pushed it back towards you. “i have enough. you need the money right? see it as a generous tip.” your face flushed, you didn’t even know what to say and instead only profusely thanked him. it was so much money, the tip was enough to cover your family’s expenses for a year.

when sukuna picked up his kimono weeks later, he still didn’t understand what a hassle you made about the choice of fabrics and why you were so diligent in taking the measurements. he was fine with everything as long as he had something to wear in the first place. he didn’t care, he wasn’t a measly human that whined about the mildest inconvenience. in the private of his abode, he tried the kimono on, abruptly halting his movements as soon as the fabric touched his skin. so the girl was right, the fabric did feel incredibly good on his skin. it was very smooth and silky, a little cool on his skin. very lightweight but not flimsy. the kimono wasn’t too short and fit his tall statue well, you really did a good job he supposed. he glanced at himself in the mirror. it did look good on him, even the matching colours and patterns were chosen well. you really were a good seamstress, no wonder everyone was flocking to the store.

now that sukuna wore the kimono, he suddenly didn’t want to take it off. it was comfortable and soft, reminding him of you.

003.

your favourite spot was one below a tree, on top of a hill where you could see everything. the small city below, the horizon, the stars in the sky. you often came here when you felt like your life came crashing down your shoulders. it didn’t feel like your own anymore, not with your future already laid out for you without you being able to control it. complaining had always felt redundant and ungrateful to you - you had everything you needed, a loving family, food on the table and your family was wealthy enough to not have to worry about money. but in return, they expected everything from you, their eldest daughter. sometimes, the pressure was too much for you but they expected you to do as they say. everything was well until they announced that you were to get married and they’d found a suitor for you. you couldn’t even protest, the decision had already been made behind your back and you couldn’t refuse. you sniffled quietly, wrapping the blanket tighter around you. you didn’t know this man; he might be a complete asshole and not treat you well at all.

the wind was biting at your skin, cold and unrelenting, and yet you felt safe here, away from all your worries. the starry sky made you feel like your worries were miniscule, reminding you that there was so much more out there for you to discover. you’d always liked the sight of stars, they always made you happy. on lucky days, you’d even get to see a few shooting stars. you’d close your eyes and clasp your hands, hopeful that whatever wish you made would come true. the crunch of leaves and twigs made you look up in alarm, scared that your parents had found out you left the estate and now found your secret hiding spot. you couldn’t quite make out the figure in the darkness, only being able to tell that a tall person was approaching you.

you were wary, inching towards the tree behind you to hide but froze when a voice rang out: “i know you’re there. i was looking for you all over the city, little one.” a man clad in a kimono was coming closer, stopping right in front of you and looking at you in disdain. your eyes lit up as you recognized him; you’d met sukuna a couple of times in the city before, mostly when you went to pick up some books to read. he’d been there one time when you were choosing your books and scoffed at your choice. you’d ask him about it, wondering why he thought that your choice was a bad one. he went on and on about how historically inaccurate the book was and that the information about curses was wrong and how an author like that should be ashamed to even publish it. you appreciated the dialogue, you liked having someone to discuss with you. your parents didn’t like that you read fantasy books and books that talked about supernatural events and beings, dubbing them as nonsense and that you should focus on your studies instead.

after your third meeting, sukuna had finally opened up and told you his name. your meetings became more frequent then but you’d never met anywhere other than the bookstore. you were surprised that he even found you here; you decided not to question him though, sukuna always seemed to know where you were, always sensing where you were headed. truthfully, you looked forward to spending time with him. he was attentive and always listened to you, barely ever talking. oddly enough, it made you feel like finally, someone was paying attention to your thoughts and needs. lately, a heavy feeling in your chest was always accompanying you when you met up with him. it was a dull ache, some kind of yearning that you couldn’t quite put a finger on. it didn’t help that you felt like you’d met him before, but you really couldn’t recall where you had met him before. “what are you doing here?” you questioned him, scooting to the side to offer him some space on the picnic blanket.

unceremoniously, he sat down and glanced over to you. he didn’t reply, simply shrugging. “why didn’t you bring a coat?” you asked another question instead, frowning at his choice of clothing. aside from his kimono, he wasn’t wearing anything else. “you’ll catch a cold!” you scolded him, swatting his arm before tugging on his sleeve and signalling him to move closer to you so you could wrap the blanket around his shoulders. you struggled a little to reach him, almost stumbling - sukuna’s arm immediately shot out to hold you so you wouldn’t fall. your cheeks flushed red and you were thankful that it was dark. you cleared your throat and sat back down, snuggling into the blanket and his side. 

“by the way, i read that book you disliked the other day,” you told him, rambling about the contents of the book and what you thought of it, all while sukuna simply listened to you. he only spoke up when he challenged your way of thinking or to agree, otherwise staying silent and just watching you.

suddenly you grasped his hand in excitement, pointing at the sky. “oh, oh! look!!” sukuna’s gaze followed the direction you pointed to, spotting some shooting stars flitting across the sky. “you have to wish for something!” you squeezed his hand and nudged him, then squeezing your eyes shut to prepare yourself to wish. 

“what would i even wish for?” sukuna frowned and pinched your cheek. “what do you wish for?”

“you’re not supposed to share wishes! if you do, they won’t come true,” you argued back and stuck your tongue out at him. sometimes, he really was too skeptical, never indulging in harmless fun. it might be childish to believe in these things but sometimes that little spark of hope was all you need to wait for better things. you sighed when the shooting stars disappeared and let go of his hand, screaming internally. did you really grab his hand like that? you sure hoped you didn’t unsettle him. 

“i don’t think i told you, but my parents have found a suitor for me,” you confided in him quietly, staring at the grass near your feet. “i’m supposed to marry him next year but… i don’t want to, i don’t know this person and i just want to live my life with no one controlling it.”

“i see. there’s still time to get to know him, isn’t there?” you knew sukuna was trying to console you but it wasn’t exactly working. your words frustrated you a little; subconsciously, you’d hoped that he shared the same opinion and maybe, just maybe, help you do something reckless. 

“i don’t want to get to know him,” you huffed and crossed your arms (sukuna thought you looked like a petulant child). “i… i already like someone.”

“you do?” sukuna looked at you surprised and that was the first time that he’d shown any other emotion than indifference. you nodded shyly, hoping that maybe he’d get the hint. you weren’t confident just yet to confess to him but maybe he’d get it from your description alone? 

“i recently met him and i really like that he makes me feel like, you know, important and always pays attention to me. he doesn’t talk a lot but i think that that’s okay, we still have a silent mutual understanding, i guess. and i also think he looks really handsome! although i-”

sukuna had enough of your rambling, he felt annoyed that you were telling him about your stupid crush. whatever boy you had a crush on, they would never amount to the likes of him. why would you look at someone else when he was right there? right here, with you. sukuna reached over and grabbed your cheeks to make you look at him before pressing his lips on yours. you froze for a short moment before returning the kiss, holding onto his kimono when he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer. why would you pay attention to someone else when he could be with you? for the first time in his existence as a curse, he briefly felt human again. maybe shooting stars were the key to wishes coming true after all; in this moment he wouldn’t mind being human again, being alone with her with only the stars as your witnesses.

004.

gradually you were really starting to dislike your night shifts. usually, you’d ask to cover them because it was quiet, there were no nosy customers and the only people that ever came in so late were sleep deprived students that pulled all nighters to write papers or study. well it used to be that way until a group of, presumably, freshmen started coming more and more frequently - they wouldn’t have been so annoying if it wasn’t for them talking and laughing obnoxiously loud. they would stay until late in the night and kept ordering drinks. the audacity to have oddly specific orders, to watch you like a hawk while you were preparing their drinks, it made your blood boil. to top it all off, one of the guys kept flirting with you, even when you’d already made it obvious that you were not interested at all. no matter how uninterested and abrasive you acted, the guy would not leave you alone and his friends would try to act as wingmen. clueless and horrible wingmen.

you were glad that you were never alone during your night shifts, depending on the weekday you’d work in a team of two or threes. whenever they could, they’d cover for you and you were thankful but also felt bad, which usually resulted in you taking over anyways. you placed the basket on the counter, grabbing a towel to dry the cups you’d just washed. the chime of the doorbell made you look up, your heartbeat speeding up at the sight of sukuna coming in. like the group of freshmen, sukuna had recently started to visit the café more and more. he usually only came late at night and he probably was your favourite regular. scratch that, he was your favourite, no one was as calm as him and he never caused trouble. yeah, maybe those night shifts weren’t all that bad, you thought to yourself. you looked forward to him visiting every time you had a night shift.

“hi sukuna,” you greeted him softly and gave him a smile, placing the cup on a shelf. “the usual?” he took a seat near the bar, placing his wallet on the counter and taking off his coat. sukuna was peculiar, not particularly in a bad way. you always thought that he was a little mysterious. he always wore the same kimono - who wears kimonos everyday in this day and age anyways - the same white kimono but maybe he just owned mulitple of them. you could never tell what he was thinking and he had never shown any emotions other than brief moments of bliss when he was having his usual order. his order had always and would probably always be a simple black coffee and some daifuku mochi. it was a weird combo, you mused, but somehow fit him. it was a sharp contrast, just like his tattoos and the soft pink hair. you finished up the order, pushing the cup of coffee and the plated mochi towards him - you’d sneaked another one in just for him, knowing how much he seemed to like them. sukuna looked up at you, ready to protest but you just brushed it off, telling him that it was okay.

out of the corner of your eye you saw your not so secret admirer approaching with an empty cup and you instantly knew you were bound to be annoyed again. you sighed, returning to the cash register to take his order. “so, when am i finally going to get to take you out?” the guy asked, leaning on the counter to get closer to you. you gritted your teeth, ignoring his question and instead took the empty cup, placing it in the kitchen sink behind you. 

“oh come on, don’t ignore me, baby,” he whined, not letting up until you answered. you were annoyed, so so annoyed. your co-workers were currently organizing the inventory so you were all by yourself - usually that would be fine but you’d had enough. this week has already been awful and you just wanted to be left alone. you glanced around, spotting sukuna on the side. suddenly a lightbulb went on in your head and you faced your admirer confidently. 

“i’m sorry but please stop flirting with me and trying to ask me out,” you started and pointed to sukuna who was innocently taking a bite from his mochi. “i already have a boyfriend and i don’t think he appreciates you cornering me like this. you being this persistent is really annoying, girls don’t like that.”

upon hearing his name, sukuna looked up and as if on cue, he glared at your admirer. “yeah, i suggest you fuck off. get a hint, you creep, she’s mine,” he snarled, making a move towards the other guy who was already scrambling to get away and profusely apologizing. mine, mine, mine. his words kept repeating in your head, your heart squeezing painfully. was he interested in you? would he ever come to see you more than just a barista? you sighed in both relief and affliction, trudging over to sukuna. 

“i’m sorry i dragged you into this,” you apologized embarrassed, shoulders drooping and you stared at the floor just so he wouldn’t see your reddened cheeks. “he’s been pestering me so much and i kind of thought that that was the only way to get him to back off.”

“i don’t mind,” sukuna replied curtly, resuming his seat. he didn’t say anything else and you slightly panicked, you wanted to keep talking to him, stay in his company for a little longer. 

“ah uhm sukuna, i want to thank you! if… if you don’t mind, i would like to treat you to another drink?” you suggested, your face now beet red. this was the most straightforward you had ever been with a guy, usually too shy to make a move. in distance you could hear the chime of the doorbell and the doors slamming, indicating that the group had left. you were alone. sukuna didn’t reply at first and you were sure you’d fucked up and got ready to backtrack and laugh it off when he nodded. 

“go ahead, little one,” he nodded towards the counter. “you choose the drink.”

you didn’t know why sukuna kept calling you little one but for some reason, you didn’t mind. it did however make your heart ache in what you could only describe as melancholy. you weren’t sure why. while you started brewing some green tea for the two of you, the sound of thunder rumbled in the distance. the pitter patter of raindrops against the glass front was the only sound audible in the entire café. sukuna hadn’t uttered another word, not even making a sound of acknowledgement when you handed him the cup of tea and sat next to him. 

“you didn’t bring an umbrella,” you noted, looking out of the window. it was raining heavily, with no signs of it stopping anytime soon. “i guess you’ll have to stay here for a little longer, otherwise you’ll get sick. i hope you aren’t sick of me though.”

sukuna took a sip of his tea. “i don’t mind your company,” he replied, looking at you. you couldn’t tell what he was thinking but you sincerely hoped he wasn’t joking. hearing that gave you a little hope. 

“i like moments like this,” you confessed to him, clutching the warm cup with your sweater paws. “having a warm cup of tea and watching the rain from the comfort of your home. or in this case, a café. the sound of rain is really calming, isn’t it? makes you forget about all your worries for a while, it’s just you and your cup of tea.”

again, sukuna didn’t reply for a while. you thought you’d bored him to death with your monologue until he spoke up: “i don’t see how it’s any different from having a cup at any time of the day.” your cup was placed back on the counter. you frowned, not sure how to explain it to him. in moments like these, sukuna seemed to be something of an old being that has seen everything, feelings now dull and locked away. 

“well, see it like this. making yourself a cup of tea or coffee everyday is a normal thing to do, right? it happens almost automatically because it’s just part of your daily routine, you like how it tastes, it makes you feel more awake or helps you sleep. but… but you never really take your time to enjoy it, right?”

sukuna was contemplating, you almost giggled at the little frown on his face. but you were glad that he was willing to listen to you and discuss it with you, instead of dismissing the topic entirely. “but what does that have to do with rain?” he finally asked. 

you pointed outside. “you wouldn’t really go out in this weather, right? not if you have any emergencies or urgent matters to attend to. and same goes for everyone else; it kind of… kind of forces you to stay inside, to fully enjoy your warm beverage. the sound of rain is pretty calming, it’s some kind of whitenoise that might block out intrusive thoughts, at least it does that for me. so it’s only you, the sound of rain and your cup of tea. for a few minutes, you can just relax and have a moment for yourself.”

sukuna still didn’t quite understand how humans worked. it’s been hundreds of years since he’s ceased to be human, he’s forgotten what is what like being human. what human emotions entailed. but he agreed, it has been a while since he’s felt at ease and peaceful even. it was a moment of bliss, a moment that caused a flare-up of old, buried feelings inside of him.

004.1

you still hadn’t mustered up the courage to actually ask sukuna out after you dragged him into that fake dating-situation. he did still come late at night, being the most loyal customer of the café at this point. it was almost… almost as if he’d seeked out your company. though he did tell you that he didn’t mind your company; your ego deflated a little. sukuna still wore his kimono but paired it with a thick winter coat - it was winter after all and the weather had been very extreme. the ground was covered in inches of snow and you hadn’t seen the sun in weeks. sukuna insisted on walking you home when your shift ended. you weren’t sure why because he’d never offered to do so before. you were thankful though since it was still snowing and the streets were completely empty; even though the snow looked beautiful, it was still a little eerie to walk home in this weather. especially since a lot of busses weren’t running anymore due blocked roads.

“sukuna, aren’t you cold?” you asked as you switched off the lights and fumbled with your keys. finally finding the right one, you closed up, shoving the keys back in your back and fishing out your gloves. “you don’t even wear gloves!” you gasped when you saw his bare hands, handing him one of yours. sukuna looked at you as if you were crazy.

he wasn’t cold but he couldn’t tell you that, couldn’t let you know that he was a curse. but handing him one of you gloves? you were too nice, always thinking of others first and never being selfish. sighing, he put on the glove that was uncomfortably small but he’d endure it for your sake.

“it’s been a while since we’ve had this much snow,” you mused and took a few steps around, giggling at the sound of crunching snow beneath your feet. sukuna simply followed you, looking comical with the bright yellow and tiny glove on his hand. you smiled at him, admiring how etheral he looked underneath the streetlights with the snowflakes flurrying around him and some getting stuck in his hair. your heart suddenly ached, a far away memory emerging. it was blurry and unclear, a cold night similar as this underneath the stars and a face staring at you. you couldn’t tell who it was nor were you sure whether it was just a case of déjà vu.

“you know, this kind of calls for a snowball fight,” you grinned at sukuna mischievously and grabbed some snow, beginning to form it into a ball. he raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, looking at you defiantly. 

“i’m not going to indulge in childish business like th-” he didn’t get to finish his sentence as you hurled the snowball at him and giggled like a maniac as it hit his shoulder. you quickly hid behind a bush as you quickly tried to form another, enjoying the dumbfounded look on sukuna’s face. clearly, he didn’t expect you to follow through with your plan and was caught by surprise. “oh you’re on,” he growled after a moment and grabbed himself some snow as well. you quickly threw another snowball at him, this time only being able to hit his leg. eyes widening at the sight of sukuna raising his arm to throw his snowball at you, you let out a squeak and dove behind a tree - the snowball still hit you square on your back, making you yelp at the cold feeling.

for minutes you could only hear the crunches of snow, loud laughter and snowballs hitting objects. you sat on a bench, exhausted from running and ducking away and your belly was starting to hurt from all the laughter. sukuna caught up to you, juggling a snowball in his hands. “you gonna give up?” he asked, a smirk gracing his lips. clearly he was winning, being able to aim a lot better than you. you missed him most of the time but had fun regardless. 

“never!” you replied, holding out your arms to defend yourself from the incoming snowball. it never came and instead sukuna was inching closer with an evil look in his eyes. oh no. what was he up to? you yelped when you realized that he was aiming for your neck, jumping up to get away from him. sukuna was quick to react and grabbed your arm, pulling you back into his chest and holding you close, smushing the snow against your neck. “ew sukuna, stop!” you laughed and squirmed in his arms until he threw the snowball away, rubbing your back gently. 

“that was really cold, you know,” you pouted, burying your face in his chest. 

he wrapped his arms around you, sighing quietly. “i know, i know, sorry.”

you swore that you felt his lips on the crown of your head.

005.

you were, undoubtedly, lost. your phone was about to die and you were stranded in the middle of the city, not sure where to go. to be fair, it was very, very easy to get lost here and it was your first time visiting. your grandparents lived here and while you’ve visited before, you couldn’t quite remember anything anymore. you were a child back then. and the city had drastically changed too, making it difficult for you to navigate yourself around. though your poor sense of direction was probably at fault as well. you sighed, trying to call your grandparents again. no one was picking up. you turned your phone off to save some of the battery, maybe you could call them later.

luckily, you’d brought your cameras so you could at least keep yourself busy until someone freed you from this misery. you walked towards the nearby shrine; there didn’t seem to be any people here, it was very quiet aside from the sound of cicadas. you took a few photos before continuing your journey, soon finding yourself standing on top of the hill. the view from here was breathtaking, even more so because the sun was starting to set, painting the sky in a beautiful yellow and orange hue. you fumbled with your camera again, trying to take a photo when someone suddenly moved into your shot. you paused and looked at the person in front of you who was staring at you as well. considering they were wearing a kimono, you assumed that they must work here. did you make a mistake? maybe you weren’t supposed to take photos and this person came to tell you off.

“i’m sorry!” you said quickly, quickly shoving your camera in your bag. “am i allowed to take photos here?” 

the stranger frowned at you, clearing his voice before replying: “how am i supposed to know? i don’t work here.” 

you groaned, rubbing your face in embarrassment. of course you’d say something wrong, you always did. and now you probably annoyed him too - he looked really annoyed. but since he wasn’t working here and there was no one else around, you guessed you could take photos after all. there was no one to tell you off anyways. however, the stranger was still standing there, looking at you in what seemed like interest. you felt awkward just continuing your endeavors without acknowledging him, so you asked: “do you live here? i’m just visiting, so i’m not very familiar with the city.”

“you could say that,” the stranger simply replied. when he didn’t say anything else, you decided that it probably was okay if you just continued taking photos without acknowledging him. though it did make you queasy, knowing that he was just watching you. didn’t he have anything else to do? a few minutes passed. he sighed and walked over, pointing at your camera. “what are you doing?” you were surprised at how straightforward he was, not expecting to engage in a conversation with you. maybe people in this city were just extra talkative and you’d have to get used to it. your grandparents never told you about this though. 

“ah i’m visiting my grandparents here and i thought i’d document my stay here. so i can look at these photos whenever i want and just have the memories on photo,” you explained and rummaged in your bag to show him the polaroids you took earlier. “i particularly like polaroids because you can’t edit or change them… whatever moment you capture, it’s true to what you saw. there’s no need to make photos beautiful when they hold a special place in your heart and are tied to a specific memory.”

the stranger nodded, pointing to your polaroid camera. “and you take them with this device?” his choice of words startled you a little, he didn’t seem to be familiar with this type of camera which you found odd. everyone knew what these were nowadays, almost everyone owned them. but you didn’t want to judge him or make him feel stupid though, patiently explaining to him how the cameras worked and where he could purchase them. he seemed to be really interested, closely inspecting the camera, turning it around and fumbling with the buttons. only after you finished rambling, you realize how much time had passed - it was almost dark now and your grandparents were probably worried sick. your phone was turned off the entire time and you forgot to call them. 

“excuse me, i really need to call my grandparents!” you looked at him apologetically, leaving him with your photos and camera. normally, you would be very wary; normally, you wouldn’t even show anyone your photos, rather keeping them to yourself because they were your precious memories. but something about him resonated with you, he seemed familiar and yet he didn’t.

you found a spot a few meters away from him calling your grandparents and profusely apologizing to them for not calling sooner. you promised them to wait at a popular and well known spot nearby so they could come to pick you up since it was already getting late, then hung up. to your relief, the stranger was still standing there, watching you intently. “thank you,” you smiled as he handed you your belongings. “my grandparents are picking me up soon, thank you for keeping me company. won’t you be going home soon?” 

suddenly his face expression turned rather… sad? somewhat melancholic and you feared you’d said something wrong until he shook his head. “i have to go somewhere later. let me walk you for a bit, it is dark after all.” you looked at him a little dumbfounded, not expecting him to suggest something like that.

“oh you don’t have to! i’ll totally be fine, i-” “i want to. let’s go,” he interrupted you, already beginning to move. you hastily followed him, clutching your bag in your hands. the entire walk was rather silent, none of you saying a word. it wasn’t a tense and uncomfortable silence though - you very much enjoyed his presence. it made you feel safe too, even though you’d told him earlier that you didn’t mind walking by yourself, it was comforting to know that he was by your side. you were in an unfamiliar city after all. hell you even got lost, so who were you kidding. you wondered who the stranger was, what his story was, what his personality was like. this was a one time meeting though, so you didn’t really have any hope of meeting him again. that was very unlikely.

“okay this is the spot. my grandparents are going to pick me up here, so it’s okay if you go,” you pointed at a café and gave him a reassuring smile. he didn’t look impressed. “o-oh wait, i need to thank you somehow.” you held a finger up to signal him to wait for a bit and fished out a polaroid you’d taken earlier. it was a simple shot, only the temple, bits of the trees and the sunset in the background. but you thought it was appropriate, the two of you had shared this moment after all. 

“here, this is for you. it’s not a lot but i guess… it’s a really nice photo and maybe the start of your collection, if you decide to get a polaroid camera?” he took the photo from you, inspecting it before nodding and thanking you. he looked like he was about to say something else but was interrupted by some bright car lights and the sound of honks.

“ah, i have to go! it was nice meeting you,” you bid farewell to him and waved, running towards the car. sukuna watched your figure retreat, arms dropping to his sides.

006.

it was so cold, so incredibly cold. you really hated disliked these long winters, the sky was constantly dull and grey, the days were short and you hadn’t seen the sun in weeks. it made you feel sluggish and unmotivated, you were just hoping that spring was coming earlier this year. you yearned for sunshine and warmth, to be able to go outside without freezing and just spend more time outside. regardless, you held onto your daily walks because they gave you some peace of mind in your hectic life. you were approaching the last year of your studies and the amount of exams, assignments and your looming thesis were just suffocating you. but soon, soon you were done and could finally take a breather, until then, the only moments of relaxation you’d have were your walks.

despite the cold, there were a lot of people near the park; children who were engaging in snowball fights, elderly who were walking their dogs and some joggers too. your eyes were wandering around, watching all the busy people around. too absorbed in your task, you didn’t notice the man in front of you until you bumped into him. you quickly removed your earbuds and apologized to him, about to continue walking when he suddenly grabbed your arm, holding you back. you were confused, did you maybe accidently hurt him when you bumped into him? you looked him up and down to make sure that he was okay; there really wasn’t anything wrong. he let go of your arm. “is something wrong?” you asked concerned and turned to him. 

“y/n?” 

you froze at the mention of your name. how did he know you?

“who are you? i’ve never met you before.”

in all your past lifetimes, you’d taught him how to be human again, how there was value and joy in even the littlest of things. with each iteration of your existence, sukuna thinks that he’s learned to love you more than the last. when he sees how at ease you are spending time with him, a curse that is feared by everyone, he contemplates confessing to you. but something holds him back, it’s the fear; the fear that you won’t return his feelings. he’s seen you be with someone else, see you fall in love countless of times. he yearns for it to be him, hoping that you do choose him, love him. for thousands of years, he’s spent his time finding you - your reincarnations don’t recognize him and it pains him to get to know you anew each time but nothing pains him as much as his existence. he wants to hold you, be yours, grow old with you.

for the first time in thousands of years, sukuna wishes to be human again.

ps.: i am so sorry if i hurt your heart there omg