#because fans who we’re with them before BF are STILL loyal

[hcmetown]

have y’all noticed it’s always the people who became “fans” at the height of tøp’s popularity (2015), then forgot about them after the Blurryface era that always has the most shit to say about them?

like we get it. it was CLEARLY a phase for you, you only liked them because they were popular at the time, but why make tøp fans feel like shit for STILL liking them? in 2024 at that?? we’re still shitting on people’s music taste in 2024?? music is music, and they still make GREAT music. i don’t understand. it’s like the moment they find out people unironically still listens to tøp current day, they become so hostile.

no one hates tøp more than “ex-Blurryface era” fans i SWEAR.

[confessions-of-the-mcl-fandom]

Anonymous Goodbye Letter

Below is a 12 piece goodbye letter that was sent to me shortly before I closed the confession box and that I’ve been holding onto for a while now. This was sent in during the time the Beta was being tested. I’ve been holding on it for so long because I’ve honestly never had to deal with something like this before and didn’t know what to do. I technically still don’t know what the right thing to do is.

The entirety of the notes were sent anonymously, so any sort of skepticism is valid, though please be respectful if you want to voice your concerns. If you think you may know who this is, please do not name / call them out. If you feel like trying to find out who it is, please don’t. Please be respectful of their privacy even if your intentions are pure.

I have edited the spelling and grammar on a different document, but I feel that showing the raw, unedited version is more respectful to the original author.

Trigger Warnings: - Terminal Illness , Leukemia - Medical Suicide , Treatment Refusal - Depression

this is both aconfession and a goodbye. i'm sorrry that this is going to be a confusing mess, but i'm not verygood at typiing up letters like this. i was diagnosed with leukemia 7 years ago. during that time i've been playing my candy love religiously. 'm always in and out of the hospital, but i always made time to plya it. eventually i couldn't go home no more cuz my illness got worse, but i still played because this game i loved so much. (1/?)

i love lysander the most, but i also like kentin off and on, to. my neighbor introduced me to the game ans she liked armin. my doctor told me i had about 5 years, but i've managed up to 7 yesrs, and i really think it was cuz of this game. i was always thinking ""I can't die yet, i don't know how the story ends. i need to know how the story ends first."" my neighbor didin't get to live to see it to the end and i've always felt bad about it. (2/?)

becuz of treatment for my illness, i've lost all my hair, so i thout it was realy cool that i could have what ever hair i wanted and i would see it in the illustrations. the nurse actually printed out some of the illustrations for me and postedthem all over my side of the room near my bed. i've never had a real bf before and i never will, but thiese boys felt so real to me. i loved them like they were real. (3/?)

but now there's university live. i was was so excited until we were told that the hair was going to only be long in the illustrations. my candy has curly hair and the the new curly hair looks terrible but the worse ting was when chino toldus only castiel was coming back. my least favrite of theguys was comin back while everyone else was being left behiind except may be nathaniel but even then it doesn't sound like the nathaniel i know. (4/?)

i nevr got to play the beta, so i only hear what everyone else was saying about it and i cried so hard when i was told we broke up with our boyfriends. i cried over a lot lot of things i hear from the beta and i cried over how chino and beemov were so disrespectful to us. i tried to send them a letter, but i chickenedout. all of this has been stressing me out evr since the news started geting bad. i've been so stressed out that my leukemia got even worse in a mater of days. (5/?)

i've been sicker than usual and i don't have an appetite, soi just throwup what i force myself to eat. (6/?)

this game was all i had and now its ruined. i lived for this game, but not anymore. i'm not on good terms with my my parents for personal reasons and i have noone else outside of the internet. so now i hav nothing to live for and i'm giving up. i'm in constant pain and living in misery. the one thing i loved is dead. i'm refusing further treatment to hurry up the prosess now. without it, i'll pass away in the next few months, but i'm okay with that. (7/?)

episode 40 is my happy end, the new ul won't exist in my life. i know there will be people who will tell me to fight, or even mock me for giving up on life over a game, but i don't care. my one and only motivation for living through this pain is dead. soon i will be, to. it was ennevitable. (8/?)

so to beemov and chino, thankyou for providing me with something that i loved so much i was willing to keep on living for it. but now you need to listen. you need to listen to the people, to your fans, who you upsetted with this new game. these people have been your bigest supporters through thick and thin, no matter what. sure we whine over some of the choices you've made, but we still supported you. but now you're not only ruining the game, you're disrespecting us. (9/?)

you're ignoring us. we're not whining. we're criticizing and you need to listen or you'll lose your most loyal players. we're not a small vocal minority, we're the magority of the fanbase trying to tell you what's wrong with your game and tell you were you need to improve. we want to help you! but you're ignoring us and and whatever happens will be your own fault. maybe i'm being naive, but maybe you'll listen to a dying girl, maybe not. (10/?)

to mun, i'm sorry i dumped this message on you. i no it goes against your rules, but i'm selfish and didn't want to post it on my own blog and get swarm with people directly talking to me. i don't think i could handle it. i don't always like the things you post on your blog, but i like how you do it. your style got beter even though you didn't have to. you've posted a few of my asks already and i'm always nervous about seeing the replies to them. (11/?)

most of the time there aren't any replies and I'm okay with that. i once sent in an ask that got over 100 notes and that was so cool to me. i'm sorry i’m leaving you with the consequences of posting this if you do end up posting it. i'm sorry you had to read it and how it might effect you. i know you're a nathaniel fangirl, so i hope they do him right by you. you deserve it more than you know. thanks for everything. (12/?)

[shirtlesssammy]

8x05: Blood Brother

Then:

Benny, Dean, and Cas had one heck of a survivalist vacation. Sam’s brain broke (again) and he hallucinated a life outside the Life.

Now:

Benny! I really like Benny and am still really bummed that he’s gone. But right now, he’s topside and confronting his old nest. He wants to right some past wrongs -namely, them killing him. Cue machete time!

Sam and Dean are on the hunt for a very elusive Kevin Tran. They enter a motel room hoping to find him, but the room is empty.

(Sidenote: Mid-century wooden plaque appreciation note. They use these again in 8x08.  Liz Lemon also has an orange one hanging behind her door on 30 Rock. Boris has one in her office too. :D) The boys are at each other’s necks about tracking Kevin (and shared animosity about how they handled the off season). Dean gets a distress call from Benny and grabs a Toblerone before hitting the road. 

For science:

(What was up with early season 8? They’re just so tan and pretty.)

Dean’s trip to find Benny gives him lots of time to think about purgatory. Benny whistling in purgatory is kinda my jam. He draws the monsters in and they take them down as a team. This whole sequence is cinematic gold.

Sam sits down to do a little digging on where Kevin is hiding when he decides to stalk his ex a little. He’s distracted by a noise in the bathroom. He finds a broken fan and has his own flashback to his idyllic time fixing things after hitting a dog.

Here is a Sam Winchester plaid shirt appreciation picture:

Dean finds Benny’s truck and a supply of AB negative, and wanders the docks a bit before finding his friend. Benny’s a little worse for wear. He doesn’t stay that way for long once he gets a little vamp food in his belly though. In fact, he’s back to normal in no time, much to Dean’s shock.

Benny thanks Dean and dismisses him, but Dean wants to know what he’s tangling with. “You and that whole friend thing, man.” That’s right, Dean is loyal (especially when you save the love of his life --uh, but I’m getting ahead of things). In purgatory, while Benny and Dean hack their way through monsters, Cas still smites them dead. He’s a magnet though and they need to keep moving or ditch the angel.

Benny hides his contempt for Cas through sarcasm. Cas calls him out on his crap. Dean doesn’t like his new BFF and BF fighting.

Cas argues that maybe Benny is right. It’s dangerous to travel with him, and chances are good that he won’t be able to pass through the door they’re hoping to find. “Cas, we're gonna shove your ass back through the eye of that needle if it kills all three of us.” Poetry, Dean, pure poetry.

Back on the docks, Benny tells Dean that he’s hunting his maker. “Why?” Dean wonders. ”Kill him, before he kills me, again.”

Sam is still struggling through his motel equipment induced psychosis. This time the ice machine reminds him of trying to fix Amelia’s backed up sink. She finds him in her motel room and becomes instantly combative.

Going through Benny’s old nest’s belongings, they find a list of yachts.

It seems that’s how they would feed. Track yachts, board, burn, and bury it at sea. Dean picked up on the salient point of the story. “Vampire pirates. That’s what you guys are. Vampirates.” DEAN BEAN. I think Dean and Benny are friends because Benny actually enjoys Dean’s jokes.

They locate an address and head out. On the road, Dean gets Benny’s backstory on why he was killed. He was loyal to his maker, and the nest, until he met Andrea, a beautiful Greek heiress. They settled in Louisiana. His former vampire nest found them, tore out Andrea’s throat, and beheaded Benny. I haven’t heard a more tragic love story since a hunter traveling to the ends of purgatory to find his angel only for said hunter to lose the angel anyway.

Benny and Dean make it to their destination. Here is a picture of Dean just chilling on the bow of a boat. I never noticed that before. Heehee.

They head into the opulent house, machetes drawn. Benny finds a picture of Andrea on a table. It’s recent and in full color. Benny panics over it when a door opens from above and Andrea walks down the stairs. He stares at her in shock while the rest of the nest creeps up on him and knocks him out. “Idiot,” Dean spits at Benny from where he’s hidden himself. Oh, Dean. Love does not make us weak.

Benny wakes up to the taunts of his old nest while Dean prowls the hallways, blithely ignoring Sam’s phone calls.

Meanwhile, Sam stalks Amelia online in between irritated calls to Dean. Cut to a flashback of Amelia asking Sam, “You stalk helpless women and you break into their motel room and you fix their plumbing?” Listen. God bless you, Ben Edlund, for your delightful juxtapositions and also for the double entendre of “fix their plumbing.” You glorious canary. Anyway, Sam stares at her, gormless, and explains that he’s fixed the sink (that somebody shoved a ton of limes into). He stares at a fresh bag of limes on the counter. We all stare at the bag of limes on the counter. Amelia, what the fuck’s up with all the limes? And why are you so ashamed of them that you’re cramming them down the disposal? We learn that Amelia has “moved into town” by setting up residence at the local pay-by-the-week motel.

(I hope limes factor into your “Amelia is a hallucination” theory, Boris.)

Back with Dean, he angrily calls Sam and demands to know why Sam called him. Oh, Dean Bean. Dean whisper-shouts to Sam that he’s stalking a vamp nest...while he’s stalking the vamp nest. Sam’s considerably concerned (pissed) that Dean is taking on a vamp nest alone. Dean protests that he’s not alone, he’s with a friend. Sam responds with, “All your friends are dead!” OUCH. Sam, ouch.

Back with Benny, Andrea gives Benny a good slap, shoos away other vamps, and then leans in and...kisses him. Yay? When I first saw this episode I remember going YAY but, guys, I have seen this episode so I’m just going to weep gently for the rest of the recap. Benny and Andrea talk about their vampirism. Andrea slips a knife into Benny’s pocket and gives him the keys to his cuffs. She tells Benny to kill their master so that they can be together. Cue swelling music.

Back with Dean, he’s still having a shouty angry match with Sam when he detects a vampire. He uses Sam shouting on the phone as a lure (yesss) and slices off one vamp head, only to see another one just down the hall. His phone gets smashed in the fight. Oops.

Benny heads up with his guard to find his master in quiet contemplation in his study. The dude’s quite curious how Benny came to be topside, and wonders where he was while he was dead. Secrets secrets, man…

Meanwhile, Dean...

Back in Purgatory-flashback land, Benny argues against Dean’s monster prejudice. He tells him, “I think we both know which of our kinds kills more humans.” Cas backs up Benny. Oh, the burn, the sick, sick BURN. 

Benny tells Dean he’d gone clean before he died - donated blood only. There was too much good in humanity to kill it. While Dean and Benny squabble over the morality of vampires, Cas squints into the forest. Leviathan are approaching! They’re too close so there’s nothing for it but to run.

In the present Dean stalks the house…

In the present Sam heads off to find Dean…

Oops, we fell into the past again. Sam’s dog - named Dog? - runs into Amelia’s room and snuggles on her lap, drawing Sam awkwardly into her motel room. *eyebrow waggle* “I’ve seen a lot of stitches in my time and you got really good hands,” Sam tells her. SAM where did you learn pick up lines oh my god. Oh wait. You learned them from watching Dean, right? You learned them from watching Dean.

Amelia tells Sam that he must be a thrifty serial killer which...is certainly truth-adjacent. Sam asks her if she’s as shiftless as he is. She has nowhere to go because she has no one. Amelia nods. AMELIA my god if someone asks you if someone is going to miss you then you say YES this is stranger danger 101. She can’t resist his puppy eyes though. Amelia and Sam bond in the soft focus lighting.

Back with Benny in the present, the master continues to prowl around the study and boasts that he has everything he wants - both the sea and Andrea. Um. Okay. Benny tells him he doesn’t have Andrea, reveals his uncuffed hands, and then slices up the vamp lackey. The master tries to talk up how their long life is full of ennui and oh, wail wail, life is meaningless. Benny kills him.

After it’s done Benny finds Andrea. Yeah, baby! Let’s go live together in peace.

Andrea wants to “ride the high seas, plunder together.” MmmmHMMM. Oh, but also she wants to be a vampirate and kill people with Benny.

He looks at her sadly. “What I love. It ain’t here anymore. It was snuffed out long ago by monsters like me. I think we’re all damned.” Andrea vamps out and lunges for Benny when Dean suddenly comes from behind, knifing her in the gut and then chopping off her head.

Later, Benny asks Dean why he resurrected him - a horrible monster. Dean looks at his friend with the concern of someone who’s seeing his friend drowning into suicidal misery. Dean thinks back to Purgatory...

Sudden flashback to Purgatory! Leviathans zap in. There are two of them. Cas gets thrown to the ground by a leviathan whose mouth opens wide to swallow him down when….

Benny kills it, and saves Cas. (Me: curls up in a ball whispering “Dean saved Benny because he saved Cas. He saved Caaaaas”)

Back at the mainland dock, Dean and Benny disembark to find Sam. There’s a long, slow, beautiful moment where Sam shakes Benny’s hand and realizes what he is. His fingers twitch towards his weapon and then Dean slowly and almost imperceptibly shakes his head. It’s such a lovely moment of silent communication fraught with tension on all sides. “I can see you two have a lot to talk about,” Benny observes. He gathers up his stuff and heads out while Dean and Sam glare eye daggers at each other.

Benny, This is Quotes:

Mind if I take the Toblerone?

It does present a curious curl in the metaphysics, doesn't it? If you murder a monster in monster heaven, where does it go?

It’s good to know you’re as dumb as ever.

Vampirates!

Was Fabio on the cover of that paperback?

I am evil after all. At least I’ve had that much to keep me cold at night.

Don’t touch the produce.

All your friends are dead.

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