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purplesurveys · 4 years

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JANUARY 2020

Where did you go on new year’s?: I believe we only stayed home and had a big dinner with family. We’re usually home during the New Year since our rooftop already offers a fantastic view of the fireworks around the city and in Manila, and also because my dad usually isn’t home on December 31st/January 1st.

Who kissed you on new year’s? I didn’t kiss anyone when 2020 hit. Gab and I always celebrated holidays and spent weekends separately...in retrospect, both already should’ve served as a bit of a red flag for me.

Did you have a New Year’s Resolution this year? I didn’t. I thought I had it together. Oh well.

Does it snow where you live? It never snows here.

Do you like hot chocolate? It’s comforting and I order it a lot, but as I’ve said before I don’t like hot drinks haha. No restaurant or coffee shop serves lukewarm chocolate, so I usually just get an order of hot chocolate and then wait for it to considerably cool down.

Have you ever been to Times Square to watch the ball drop? I’ve never been to New York and they don’t show that program here.

Is January anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) My dad’s birthday is on the 31st. I also always remember my aunt and uncle’s wedding anniversary on the 11th since theirs has so far been the only wedding of an immediate family member that I’ve attended, and so I remember the preparations and the actual event being really hectic but fun.

FEBRUARY 2020

Were you single? No. I was in a happy, committed relationship at the time.

Who was your Valentine? My girlfriend at the time was, but I remember we agreed to make Valentine’s a little lowkey last year because we were both low on savings at the time. Still, she got me a street food bouquet and I got her a pretty flower bouquet in return. I think we also had an Italian dinner somewhere between Valentine’s Day and our anniversary.

When you were little did you buy Valentine’s for the whole class? No. I don’t see the point.

Do you care if the groundhog sees its shadow or not? I really don’t care about this in general. It’s not a thing we follow here.

What did you receive for Valentine’s day? Like I said, Gab went to my favorite street food stall and she manually made a bouquet herself, fancy paper and ribbons and all. The ~bouquet had chicken isaw, pork isaw, barbecue, Betamax, and Walkman in it, which are my favorites.

What did you give for Valentine’s Day? A big bouquet. She was shooting for a school requirement that day and was at her best friend’s house, so I spoke with that friend in secret so I can plan out a surprise visit and hand her the flowers.

Is February anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) I used to look forward to February because it was mine and my ex’s anniversary. I’m not threatened by the date this year and I will just make plans for myself. Or I can also ask Angela to hang out with me. Idk yet, but what matters to me right now is that I’m no longer sad about it.

MARCH 2020

Are you Irish? Not one drop of it in me.

Do you like corned beef and cabbage? I haven’t tried these together but I will sometimes eat my samgyupsal with cabbage, so I doubt this combo would be bad.

What did you do for St Patrick’s Day? We don’t celebrate that here.

Are you happy when winter is pretty much over? We also don’t have winter.

Is March anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) My late grandpa celebrated his birthday on the 11th. March will also forever be burned in my brain as the month that 2020 ended for me.

APRIL 2020

Do you like the rain? Love it. Rain makes me feel calm and peaceful.

Did you play an April fool’s joke on anyone this year? I don’t think so. I just enjoy watching prank videos on social media sometimes, but I don’t pull them myself nor is there anyone who pulls them on me.

Do you get tons of candy for Easter? That’s not really tradition here. Most families will just go to church on Easter Sunday, and only families with young kids will have Easter egg hunting games.

Do you celebrate 4/20? Nope. I celebrate the day afterwards, which is my birthday haha.

Do you love the month of April? I do get a childlike excitement for it every year because I always get excited for my birthday, no matter how small my plans may be for it in a given year. The only thing I hate about April is the weather, because this is when it starts to get unbearably hot in the country. Is April anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) My birthday, my parents’ anniversary, my brother’s birthday (at least I was excited for it until I stopped talking to him). April is also usually Wrestlemania month, and something I will always look forward to regardless of how detached I’ve gotten from pro wrestling.

MAY 2020

What is your favorite flower? Roses and peonies. Sunflowers make me feel hopeful, but I wouldn’t say they’re my favorite.

Finish the phrase “April showers…”: I don’t know.

Do you celebrate May 16th: National Piercing Day? That’s a day? I always remember May 16 as being Katreen’s birthday lol. Anyway, no I definitely do not celebrate it. I don’t even have piercings beyond my earlobes.

Is May anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) It’s my favorite cousin’s birthday. May also marks the end of the school calendar, so back in college I had always looked forward to the 3rd or 4th week of May. In 2020, Andi and I also wrapped up our thesis in May.

JUNE 2020

What year did/will you graduate from high school? I graduated in 2016. Happier, simpler times.

Did you do anything fun during this Month? I learned how to use iMovie so I can make a surprise birthday video for Gab, where I collated video greetings from her closest friends and also asked them to put photos they have with her in a Google Drive. That was exciting to learn and make, even though my efforts ultimately went to waste. We also got Cooper last June!!!!! when he was still a small small tiny bean of a pup, and I could still carry him with one hand.

Have a favorite baseball team? I don’t even know how baseball works.

Is June anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) Yeah used to be her birthday but I obvs can’t celebrate it with her anymore. Otherwise, pretty uneventful month overall.

JULY 2020

What did you do on the 4th of July? We don’t celebrate that here. This used to be the date of our Independence Day back when US still had a much tighter grip on us, but I believe a former President shifted it to a different date (the one we have now) to serve as a sign of our independence from that country.

Did you go to the fireworks? We don’t have fireworks on July 4th, nor do we have fireworks on our own Independence Day.

Did you blast the A/C all day? I wanted to but was not in the place to, given that I did not earn my own money yet to help with the bills.

Is July anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) Last year, my college graduation was held in July.

AUGUST 2020

Did you have a sunburn? No. No reason for me to get one considering I stayed at home from March to September, except for the time I went to the doctor in May.

Did you go to the pool a lot? I didn’t, but my parents did blow up the inflatable pool that we keep and placed it on the rooftop so that we can cool down. Summer this year was unforgivable.

Did you go out of town? I don’t believe we did in August.

Is August anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) My university-wide graduation. My school has quite a large population so we get two grads - a more intimate one with our own college where we can be called one by one to go up the stage; and a larger, more general, university-wide grad, where the university higher-ups and a chosen summa cum laude student make speeches and there are multiple music/dance performances.

SEPTEMBER 2020

Are you attending college/school? Not anymore.

Do you like fall better than summer? We don’t get fall.

What happened this month? Man you had 8 other months to ask this, why pick my worst month?? Lmao. September was the month of the quick deterioration of my relationship and its eventual breakup, my first job interview (that I got ghosted by), Nacho’s first death anniversary, opening my first bank account, and the start of my internship.

Is September anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.): Angela’s birthday, my mom’s birthday, Nina’s birthday.

OCTOBER 2020

Whats your favorite candy? Fruitella. I got soooooo many Fruitella packs from my relatives this Christmas because that was what I put on my wishlist hahahahaha.

What was your favorite thing(s)about this month? October was terrible. The only thing that kept me alive was my internship and the people in it, our Halloween party, and Good Mythical Morning. But in general, September through the first half of December 2020 is a period I would like to bury permanently.

What are you planning to be for Halloween? I don’t have plans for Halloween 2021 yet.

Are you going to be trick or treating? Nope.

Is October anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.): I don’t think so.

NOVEMBER 2020

Whose house do you go to for Thanksgiving? Sigh. I don’t care for Thanksgiving.

What are you going thankful for this year?: Too early to tell, but on the second day of the new year, so far, I’m thankful for the positive people around me, the kindness and patience they extend to me, and myself for powering through and living to see 2021.

Do you love stuffing? No but I’d like to try it.

Anything exciting happen this month? Again, November was still shitty times for me.

Is November anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.): I got employed and started my first real job.

DECEMBER 2020

Do you celebrate Christmas? Yeah, but it clashes with my non-belief so it’s something I’m still figuring out.

Have you ever been kissed under the mistletoe? No.

Get anything special last year? I got one too many bottles of soju and packs of Fruitella, hahah. I also got the wooden portable table that I’ve been eyeing for a while.

What do you love most about December? THE HOLIDAY WORK BREAK ZZZZZzzzzzz I can’t believe it’ll be over soon :( I’m not yet ready to go back to work ugh.

Is December anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.): Two of my aunts’ birthdays, my godson’s birthday, my grandma’s birthday, and get-togethers with different sides of my family.

#survey #surveys

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youngwidowofbrooklyn · 7 years

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The One With Infinite Names

Today is September 11th. A somber date in recent American history, to be sure. But for me it marks a remembrance of something far more personal.

He did not die on this date, but this day marks the last time he spoke to me. His words were confused, but his thoughts were not. He told me he loved me and I told him the same. I’ll forever be grateful for that. Today marks the two-year anniversary of the last time I lived with a foolish and all-encompassing hope for better tomorrows, or at least more tomorrows. The last time that I truly believed that if I just wished hard enough the universe would reverse its course of extinguishing the brightest light of my life.

This day is the two-year anniversary of the day after my sweet boy’s first day of preschool. The day after his father sent a slightly jumbled text message telling his son that he was proud of him, and sent a picture from his hospital room, smiling and giving a thumb’s up. This day is the marker of the last full day that my husband lived. The day after my son took his first tentative steps out of my full-time care. The day before my husband took his last slow breath as I clutched his arm.

Today is September 11th, as I am starting this post. I do not know if I’ll finish it today. There’s so much I want to say. So much that I’m feeling. All of the coincidences of the date and the days that have stretched between two years ago and where I am now. I hardly no where to begin writing or how long it will take me to feel like I’m done.

The other day, “Space Odyssey” by David Bowie came on the radio and I began to weep.

Ground Control to Major Tom Ground Control to Major Tom Take your protein pills and put your helmet on Ground Control to Major Tom (ten, nine, eight, seven, six) Commencing countdown, engines on (five, four, three) Check ignition and may God's love be with you (two, one, liftoff)

This is Ground Control to Major Tom You've really made the grade And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear Now it's time to leave the capsule if you dare "This is Major Tom to Ground Control I'm stepping through the door And I'm floating in a most peculiar way And the stars look very different today For here Am I sitting in a tin can Far above the world Planet Earth is blue And there's nothing I can do

Though I'm past one hundred thousand miles I'm feeling very still And I think my spaceship knows which way to go Tell my wife I love her very much she knows

Ground Control to Major Tom Your circuit's dead, there's something wrong Can you hear me, Major Tom? Can you hear me, Major Tom? Can you hear me, Major Tom? Can you "Here am I floating 'round my tin can Far above the moon Planet Earth is blue And there's nothing I can do"

When I was a small child that song has haunted me in ways I couldn’t understand. As I grew older, the implications became more obvious: the unknowable expanse of our universe; a man, alone, set adrift in it, never to return; the mourning of those he leaves behind; the brain reeling to try to comprehend the incomprehensible....those left behind yearning to see space through his eyes; the man who is doomed to tread into it alone.

And, of course, these days, the allusion is painfully personal. Dead rock star singing to me from beyond the grave about my own beautiful, lost, Major Tom. The problem with my grief, still, two years later, is that I see meaning, parallels, poetry, in everything. In some ways, it’s wonderful. In others, it’s absolutely gutting.

Sometimes I think that the best art humanity ever attempts to make is the kind that stretches on its tiptoes to reach for the answer that none of us will ever know until it’s too late to share it with others. Death. The beauty and horror of it. No matter how much we fear it, defy it, embrace it, long for it, even, it continues at an even pace, its slow march for each one us, wraps us each up, silently, completely and ushers us, alone, to Another. Death comes. It comes whether you’re ready or not. Sometimes death comes right after you’ve ordered a jumbo pack of toilet paper. Death comes before you’ve zeroed out the balance on your transit card. Death comes before you’ve finished watching all of the episodes of that television show you love. Death comes, so get ready. Death comes, and no one’s ever really ready.

Yesterday, I met my birth father for the first time. I wonder if it had happened at any other point in my life how I would’ve felt. Which is to say, that I felt very little, by comparison to the emotions I swim in on the regular. September will forever and ever be the most difficult of months for me, most likely. So maybe I should try to hunker down during this month and let the sadness and complicated feelings take hold and do their worst. Or maybe it’s a perfect time to tackle things that would otherwise seem scary or difficult. Like meeting your birth father.

We arranged to meet at a restaurant for breakfast. In truth, I didn’t know if he’d be there or not. I knew I’d be meeting my sister, my half-sister, for breakfast, and for only the second time ever. But in our arranging of plans, she failed to mention whether she was bringing him, and I didn’t ask....whether to protect myself or out of pride, I don’t know. I’m very good at hiding my feelings, still. Even from myself.

And so, I walked through the parking lot of the restaurant, holding the hand of my rambunctious son, and I heard my sister call my name. I looked up and there she stood, smoking a cigarette, standing next to a man also smoking a cigarette, and at first I didn’t know. It didn’t register. I’ve seen photos. I’ve spoken to him on the phone. I’ve read and re-read the many letters he sent my mother when she was pregnant with me. But my mind had created a version of him that was big, tall and strong. This was a man not much taller than me, which I noted as he hugged me. He was skinny in an old-man way, with a paunchy belly and spindly appendages. He looks like an old biker. And maybe he is. I wouldn’t know, since we are basically strangers.

We went inside and had a pleasant, if bizarre, breakfast. My attention turned away from the two newest additions to my family every time my son squirmed or complained. I think I was thankful for the distraction. It was insane to be sitting across from a woman, my sister, raised by our father alone, an only child, as I sat on the other side of the booth, a woman raising my sweet boy alone, destined to be an only child himself. It was a bit like looking into a funhouse mirror where you recognize all the parts but somehow they are arranged differently. Then again, like I said, I see coincidences and poetry everywhere these days.

But how was it, to have that meeting yesterday? To see my son meet a third grandfather? To see my own birth father for the first time? To see my sister and herfather-myfather together and know that they are mine in some way, but in a very much bigger way not mine at all, except on a cellular level that either matters completely or not at all?

It was...nothing. It was fine. It was okay. I didn’t cry. I wasn’t overwhelmed. I didn’t make any promises. I don’t expect anything. I’m weary and sad and that has nothing to do with meeting long-lost family, but it does leave me in a place where I have little capacity for emotions outside of these enormous ones I do battle with daily.

There was a time, thirty-odd years ago, probably, where, if you’d asked me what shaped my life and made me who I was, I would’ve told you, rather melodramatically that never knowing my birth father made me.....what? Tougher? Enigmatic? Beautiful and complicated? A girl with a hole in her heart longing to be filled with the precise love of a father she never knew but whom she knew desperately loved her and wanted her? Probably all of those things. But I live in a world far away from that little girl these days.

My father embraced me yesterday and pulled back to look at me and, in a very effective dad-joke manner, said, “It’s been a long time!” To which I forced myself not to reply, “Since what? Since I was a sperm in your testicles?” He only meant kind banter, I know. I have only clinical detachment to give in return.

I used to be the kind of person who was afraid, overwhelmed and emotional at the slightest misstep. I used to work myself into knots over what was Fair and Just. I used to try very hard to control the uncontrollable. But something in my has shifted in a profound way, over the last few years. Whether it’s parenthood, loss, entering my forties, a combination or some Other, I don’t know. But I know that I have stone in places where I used to quiver. I let go of my battle to steer the Universe in the direction I want it. I released and I gave up. And it’s left me feeling very powerful.

It’s weird, yes, but it’s true for me. I don’t cry much anymore, and it’s because I know what real, true sadness is now. I don’t worry about finding love for myself again. Because I know that I had it once. It didn’t last near as long as it should have, but it was wonderful and rare. How lucky was I, were we, Tom and I, to have found each other? No matter how many years we could have had, it never would have been enough.

Believers and non-believers alike, let me tell you something you may not want to hear: True, deep and compassionate love is real. Soul mates are real things that can exist. I know because my soul had a mate. But here’s where it gets hard - just because it’s real, doesn’t mean it will find you. I hope you find the one person who gets you, who completes you and lifts you and inspires you and loves you with full knowledge of your flaws. But you might not. And even if you do, the best that you can hope for, the very best, is that they will hold your hand when you die, and spare you the pain of having to hold theirs when they go. That’s the very best possible outcome that true love offers. It’s still worth it, but know that one way or another your heart will break. Even true love can’t save you from that.

**********

And now it’s the end of the day. I worked today. I picked my son up from school and made a concerted effort to be present with him for a while and play and laugh and talk with him, even though I’m feeling out of sorts today.

There’s this line in the third act of OUR TOWN, where one of the dead in the graveyard says suddenly, “I keep remembering things today.” That’s how I feel right now. This moment, each moment of the day, today, I’m thinking, “Where was I two years ago today? Back when I didn’t realize how precious few moments were left before widowhood?” I remember that evening I left the hospital cautiously hopeful, and walked down Madison Avenue - is that right? Christ, I’m already forgetting the cross streets of that goddamned hospital - talking to my mother on my cell phone, telling her it was going to be okay. I remember I was walking under some construction scaffolding, talking and semi-oblivious to my surroundings, when I came nearly nose to nose with a raccoon who happened to be casually dangling from a beam inches from my face. That’s the first raccoon I’ve ever seen up close, and it was in the middle of the biggest city in America. It was delightful and odd, and I was sure it was a sign of good things to come. Less than twelve hours later, when his mother called me from the hospital and told me that I should come right away, I knew that I had been wrong.

Time became a funny thing after that. It no longer moves for me in an even paced and linear way.

I remember those first hours, days, weeks, I don’t know how long, really, that I was absolutely paralyzed. When I almost felt like my lungs would collapse from the all-consuming grief. I couldn’t sleep or eat or sit down or stand up. I don’t know how a person lives through that kind of pain. I did it, and I still don’t know. I remember the heaviness of my physical self. I remember the effort it took to walk steps and to see the world around me. I felt like I was peering out at the world around me from a fishbowl. The days were nightmarish, and the nightmares in my dreams were beyond anything I can describe.

I’ve been alive 792 days since he died. It feels like millions more than that. It feels like yesterday.

I’m not done yet. But I have to sleep now. Tomorrow is not going to be easy.

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hyfdanielle-archive · 8 years

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After Hours Aquarium Distractions → Granielle

TITLE: After Hours Aquarium Distractions CHARACTER(S): Danielle Panabaker and Grant Gustin @theflashgrant SETTING: Whistler, BC Canada on March 11th CONTENT RATING: PG-13 SUMMARY: Danielle and Grant have a date night at the Vancouver Aquarium, participating in the After Hours exhibit that they have, then coming home with a heart to heart conversation and distraction.

Grant was enjoying a nice relaxing Saturday with his wife, daughter and the dogs, glad they didn't have anything to do all day. After the rough encounter he had with Caity earlier that morning. His mind was going a mile a minute, trying to process everything she had told him and just the fact that he ran into her, quite literally, in general. He wanted to try and not think about it and have a distraction, which made him come up with a great date idea for him and Danielle. Liz was watching Ali and the dogs and Grant wanted to take Danielle to an aquarium that was called After Hours Aquarium. It was for adults only and a way for them to experience the aquarium differently than they would with children. They had alcohol and snacks provided while walking around the place and had various shows and exhibits they'd be able to look at as well. Dale was driving them to the aquarium and Grant was quiet for the ride, still lost in his own thoughts on what to do with the whole Colton and Caity situation. When they arrived, Grant got out of the car and walked into the place with Danielle, paying for two tickets. "You gonna get wine or beer to have?"

Danielle had a good time on this lazy day, but it was still different all the same. It was a Saturday where her little family would be able to relax without a care in the world; but something was off with her husband. She couldn't figure it out, but didn't want to press about it all the same. Instead, she showered him with affection until their baby sitter arrived so they could have their date night. Usually, she and Grant would try for one night out of the week to have alone and this was their night. They were going to go to the aquarium, but a special after hours event filled with drinks and food. They'd be able to look at the exotic fishes that were in the tanks and have fun without the bombardment of adulthood looming over them. Danielle was so excited, but couldn't help but worry about what was going on with her husband. "You know me and wine", she teased of him, laying her hand on his back while he paid for the tickets to go in. "I wonder if we'll get to see the sharks like we did when we went to Baltimore. Remember that? That was a fun trip."

Grant smiled and nodded, assuming that Danielle was going to get wine. Usually he would join her since he liked wine himself, but he needed something stronger and that was beer right now. Grant liked both either way so he knew it wouldn't matter which one he chose. Smiling as she mentioned the sharks they saw in Baltimore, Grant nodded. "It was. I was proud of you for coming to an Orioles game with me. I might just have to tempt you to do it again over the hiatus. Or maybe this time we'll see the Mets play in the city," he said outloud. When they got their tickets, they went straight to where they were selling beverages so that they could have them while walking around. There were different things to do and Grant wanted them to experience all of them, knowing it was open for a certain amount of time to do just that. Once they each had their drinks, Grant led the way to the first exhibit which had to do with sharks like Danielle had mentioned. "Guess we'll get to see sharks after all. And this shows us the four different ways they can reproduce. Well. Now I know why this is for adults only," he chuckled.

Danielle let out a scoff and shook her head, promptly showing signs of nostalgia when Grant started talking about the game that they went to. "We can go back", she told him, knowing that it made him happy and she wanted to do things that made him happy as well. But now they didn't say much of anything else before they got their drinks. They'd be walking around in them and that was great, giving her time to look through all of the exhibits with no rush and no fuss. They had gotten to the sharks fairly quickly and her eyebrows raised at the exhibit that they were seeing. "Is this what you wanted to show me? Shark Porn in Vancouver. There are more than one ways they can reproduce? What an industry to be in for a shark", she teased out, which got her a few looks from people that passed by. Blushing gently, she brought her glass of wine to her lips and stayed close to her husband now, not wanting to get into any more trouble as it was.

Grant smiled softly when Danielle said they would go back. He didn't want to start planning their whole hiatus now, knowing the time was limited as is and he wasn't much of a planner. If anything hiatus was so that he could be lazy and catch up on sleep but it was nice to know that Danielle was up for going again if the opportunity presented itself. Smirking when Danielle spoke, Grant shook his head. "I mean I knew there were...some R rated things here hence the whole after hours thing but I did not know we would be seeing how many ways sharks can have sex," he teased, shaking his head in amusement. He was intrigued, even if it sounded weird and when Danielle said it's a great industry to be a shark, Grant nearly spit out his drink. They started looking at the exhibit and Grant was mind blown. "I mean I guess it's like how humans have different positions to have sex, right?" He whispered to his wife, not wanting anyone else to hear. He couldn't believe this is what they were looking at right now but it was definitely distracting him and giving him a source of entertainment that he was happy for.

Danielle looked at her husband now when he started out with his drink. "Honey", she turned to him worriedly, wondering if he was okay, but everything was fine and collected and she was most thankful for it. For now, she stayed close to Grant and didn't dare to venture away from him while they learned about the reproduction cycle of a shark, listening to the sound byte that was coming from the speakers near there so they can learn. "That's true", she whispered out then, finishing another sip of her glass. "I wonder if they prefer one thing over another and if they're adventurous like that", she mused out now and shook her head rapidly. Danielle was getting way too invested in learning about this and though it was the norm, she felt amused that she was here learning about it. But as she turned back to Grant, she took his free hand with hers and laced their fingers together. "Where are we going next?"

Grant nodded and shrugged. "I'm sure they do, just like we have our preferences," he said before taking another sip of his drink. Grant was pretty sure he'd never look at an aquarium the same after this but it was interesting regardless. When Danielle laced their fingers together, Grant looked around to see where they would be going next. "This is another exhibit about reproduction underwater," he chuckled, listening as the man started educating them. The main focus was on coral sex and otter love and Grant raised his eyebrows. It was weird to be hearing about how these different creatures in the water had sex but at least they would be learning something different. "At least it's nice to know that these animals and creatures get some lovin' too. Good for them," he said out loud, mostly to his wife. When that exhibit was over, the crowd was led to a small theater where they were given 3D glasses to watch a short film about coastal predators. "This should be cool."

Danielle widened her eyes when Grant started speaking, mostly because the people around them had snickered like they heard the funniest thing. "Oh yeah", she said as she downed the rest of her wine glass. This was beginning to get fun, not like it hadn't been before, but she was learning something new and getting a lot of new material for jokes and conversation. "We've done a lot of that underwater if you think about it", she mused out again, this time whispering so that only Grant could hear and hid her face in his arm. There were a lot of couples here as well, maybe on dates, so it was enough for Danielle to feel like this was intimate but still with a large group. But now they were lead towards a room with 3D glasses, bottom lip going in between her teeth. "First we saw otter loving and now we're going to watch them get killed", she said as she put on the glasses and turned her frame towards Grant. "Everything is all blurry right now, babe", she let out. "Maybe I should put this when I get to sit down."

Grant chuckled when Danielle said they had done similar things underwater. "You have a point there," he said, taking another sip of his drink. Once they were inside the room, Grant watched as Danielle put on the glasses, stating that everything was blurry. "Yeah, you should probably wait until it actually starts. Won't be able to see much until does," he told her. "It's going to be a sure change of events, but still interesting," he said to his wife. As funny and amusing as the sexual things were, it would be cool to see something about the predators in the water, even if it might freak him out slightly. "As long as these things aren't in familiar waters or anywhere I can come into contact with them. That would start to freak me out," he said. A few minutes later, the film started and Grant put his glasses on, seeing the different predators come off the screen in 3D form. It was cool and even made him jump at certain points, the whole thing feeling so real.

Danielle took off the glasses until it was time to put them on again, shifting her weight in the seat in order to see everything. Her eyes were widening at every single predator that came onto the screen and even though it was basically the circle of life, she couldn't handle it at times. "Oh my god", she said as she took the glasses off and then put them back on, shaking her head and calmed down enough to continue watching. When the movie was over, there was a soft green look for Danielle now, but she didn't mention to anyone when she gave the glasses back. Her hands were outstretched for her husband and she was a bit more affectionate now than what she would have been if she hadn't seen so much blood, but at lease they had something to tell everyone when they were asked. "I won't ever look at an alligator the same way again", she mumbled out now, lingering in the lobby of the theater. "Can we go see the otters after the tour? I liked that they were so friendly."

Grant was mindblown once the film was over, taking off his glasses and sighing heavily. "That was intense, wasn't it? Damn," he said, standing up and following the people out of the mini theater. "Well we've known that alligators are bad this whole time. But it was crazy to see everything they're actually capable of," he said, grimacing at the thoughts. When Danielle asked if they could see the otters once more before they left, Grant nodded. "Yeah, they were cute. There's not much left on the tour, I believe," he said to his wife. "There's only one more thing to do and that's getting to touch the sea stars and sea urchins. That'll be cool," he said, following everyone into what was called the Star Lab. There were workers there who were showing everybody the different creatures that would be able to be held and Grant was a little nervous as to what they would feel like. "I don't want to hurt them or anything. This is going to feel weird."

Danielle nodded her head and followed Grant now towards the wet lab, where they would be able to touch and play with the sea stars and sea urchins. They'd have to be careful because of the poisonous barbs, but it was okay to touch as long as they didn't harm the animals. "Have you ever touched a sea star", she asked of her husband, giving him a soft smile when they entered. The tour was simple and in a line, they'd be able to spend as little or as much time with them as they would want. "You'll feel like they're sticking to you", she said before she took one of Grant's hands and put it in the water with her. She was holding onto his finger and guiding it towards one of the legs of the stars, keeping her attention only to her husband to see what his reaction would be like. "Now sea urchins, I don't know what I would do if I touched one", she told him. "Aren't those the ones where if they sting you, then you'd have to get someone to pee on you so it would be healed?"

Grant shook his head when Danielle asked if he ever touched a sea star. "No, I've never really gotten the opportunity to. I wonder what they feel like. I mean they look hard..." He trailed off, watching as Danielle brought his hand into the water, carefully guiding his finger towards one of the stars. "Really?" He asked his wife, realizing what she meant once he touched it. "Whoa," he mumbled, surprised at the feeling and caught slightly off guard. "That's definitely not what I expect," he chuckled, moving his finger against it gently. "It's cool though," he said to Danielle. "I don't know, isn't that a jellyfish?" He asked his wife while shrugged. He was pretty sure if you got stung by a jellyfish, pee was the solution to get the sting out but maybe it was the same with sea urchins. "I don't think I'm going to touch one, I don't see how that's safe. I mean...some people are so I guess it is but I'm gonna have to pass."

Danielle smiled at her husband's reaction to the sensation. "I know. I don't want to pick it up because it'll be like taking it out of its habitat, but I would touch it underwater if it's safe for the both of us", she started out. The brunette adored all sorts of animals and would only want the best for them. It was the reason why she didn't want to disturb any of the animals that were in the water like most other people. Instead, she chose to listen and learn, shrugging her shoulders like Grant did when he said something about a jellyfish. "I wouldn't want to be stung by any of those either. Sometimes you die automatically", she spoke out, completely grim with her words until it came time to touch some of the manta rays that were there. "We can play with them", Danielle whispered out, tugging Grant over to where most of the adults were crowding around. A school of manta rays were swimming back and forth and they were table to touch fins if they were lucky enough. "You know, watching Nemo was perfect yesterday, because now we get to experience it in real life, right here. Right now."

Grant nodded when Danielle spoke. He wasn't sure he was going to be as brave as she was but maybe if they did it together, it'd be okay. "Since when do you have so much experience with this kind of thing? When have you touched a sea star before?" He asked curiously, wanting to know all these little details about his wife. "You can, yeah. It's dangerous but I think that's a rare case, otherwise not many people would be in the ocean constantly," he shrugged. Grant never really thought about the risks of going in the water when at the beach, just enjoying swimming around and messing around in the waves. He couldn't wait until they were back in LA to do that often. When Danielle said they could play with them, Grant furrowed his brows. "What even are they?" He asked his wife. "I know, it is pretty perfect. I definitely didn't even plan that," he said while chuckling.

Danielle looked to Grant as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "You never did any of this on the beach", she asked of her husband. Sure, there were beaches where there were too many people and not enough water exploration, but sometimes you'd get lucky and it'll be a memory for life. "Sometimes we'd go on the beach and there would be a few things here and there. I'm surprised that there isn't much of this to do on Hilton Head beach." But now they were at the manta rays and she pointed to them when Grant asked what they were. "You know the school bus in Finding Nemo. Those dudes", she started to explain and soon she bent down to the water and ran her fingers through it, letting out a squeal when her finger tips had touched a bit of their skin. "Baby, come on. You'll have to try this. Then we'll go see the urchins again." Even now, Danielle turned back to Grant, offering her dry hand that wasn't wet from what she did so that she could keep him close.

Grant shook his head. He realized that there was probably an opportunity to do it on the beach when he was a kid in Virginia or even when his family went to Hilton Head every summer but it never ended up happening. "Whenever my siblings and I were on the beach, we usually played games. Frisbee, volleyball, football. All that stuff. Maybe Gracie paid attention to the hermit crabs and shells and all that stuff but Tyler and I were never really that interested," he chuckled. When Danielle explained what those creatures were in Finding Nemo, suddenly Grant was able to make the connection. "Oh okay, now I see," he told her, watching as she put her fingertips in there by the manta rays. "Does it feel weird? I don't know..." He trailed off, letting out a sigh. At this point he figured he should try it if Danielle did so he put his hand in and touched them. "Whoa. So slimy and smooth," he said to his wife. They then moved back over to the sea urchins, though Grant was sure he wasn't going to touch those. Danielle didn't seem like she was going to either so they looked at them for a little bit before realizing that everything was coming to an end. People were leaving and Grant figured it was time for them to do the same. "Well that was fun, right?" He said as they made their way out of the aquarium.

Danielle stood way far behind the sea urchins and Grant while everyone would be touching them. "To think people eat them too", she whispered out. Everything was coming to an end and a close, and there was a disappointment to her now that they didn't get to see the otters again; but that was okay. "I had so much fun", she told her husband truthfully. "Finished all of my wine. Saw some shark porn", she started to list out, wagging her eyebrows playfully at her husband before letting out a soft laugh. It was nice to be able to relax with her husband like this and be able to just hang out and learn something new. It made for a memorable date night and something that she'd tell everyone in the meantime. "And I learned so much. I think this was amazingly fun." While she spoke, she turned to stand in front of Grant and cupped his face, making it so that her hazel eyes would lock onto green. "I love you and thank you for this."

Grant made a face. "What? People eat them? That's disgusting," he said, making a face. "But yeah, I'd say tonight was a success. Definitely not like any other date night I've had," he chuckled. It was nice to be in Vancouver for these sorts of things, knowing it provided entertainment that you most likely couldn't find in Los Angeles or anywhere else. "I learned a lot too, so I'm glad we did this. And being able to drink while going around is pretty cool," he nodded. Once they got to the car, Grant smiled softly when Danielle cupped his face, thanking him for their date night. "Of course. I love you too," he said, kissing her on the lips gently before getting into the car. Grant stayed quiet for the ride back to their apartment, lost in his own thoughts about what transpired that morning. It was great to be distracted from it while at the aquarium and he succeeded in forgetting about it while there but now it was weighing heavily on his mind again and he didn't know what to do. When they got home, Grant thanked Dale and made his way up to their apartment, inside and greeted Liz once he saw her. He thanked her and said his goodbyes, watching her leave and making his way into the living room where he greeted the dogs briefly and sat on the couch, rubbing his face with his hands and letting out a sigh.

Danielle furrowed her eyebrows at the silence that filled the car. It wasn't awkward by any means. It was just unsettling, like there was a weight that didn't and couldn't be described. The kiss before that was wonderful, kind, but the aloofness that radiated after unnerved her. The brunette didn't say much when they got home, greeting their baby sitter and realizing that their daughter was probably asleep in her bedroom. She wasn't going to disturb Alison, but instead chose to sit down beside her husband and place her feet onto his lap. "Penny for your thoughts", she prodded out, giving him a soft smile to encourage him to do so. Part of the reason why Danielle prided her relationship was the ability to communicate with one another, no matter what the circumstance may have been. "You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. Is there something wrong, Honey?" Danielle showed concern, but if Grant didn't want to approach it, she'd leave it be.

Grant watched as Danielle sat down next to him, pursing his lips. Ultimately he knew that he was going to have to tell Danielle what was going on, even if it wasn't exactly his place to say. She was his wife and he didn't like keeping secrets from her and since it was bothering him so much, maybe she'd be able to help if she had some insight on what was going on. She put her feet in his lap and Grant sat there, wondering where to start and what to say. Shrugging when she said it looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, Grant sighed. "That's kinda what it feels like," he said, rubbing the back of his neck gently. "Kind of. I mean...I don't know," he mumbled. "I ran into Caity this morning when I was getting us breakfast and coffee. And well, it was just weird. Seeing her again, since we haven't talked or seen each other since the whole...thing happened. And then she ends up telling me that this thing...is a lie. She never actually cheated on Colton," he told his wife. "She lied because she wasn't ready to make a big commitment to him and that was the only thing she could think of that would make him walk away from her," he said. "So now I know this and no one else does. Besides you now. And I just feel like I need to tell Colton but it's not for me to tell. It's for Caity to tell. And I tried telling her to tell him and I'm hoping she will but I just feel weird, like I'm hiding something from my best friend and I just don't know what to do."

Danielle pressed her lips together and listened. She didn't interject. She didn't say anything. She just took everything in that Grant was telling her. There was a part of her that was proud that he would trust her with this secret; but there was another part of her that ached for the couple in question. Her husband was in a tough spot and it wouldn't be great for any of the parties involved if all of this comes out of the woodwork. "I'm sorry you're in the middle of it", she told her husband truthfully, taking her legs from his lap and moved closer so that she was able to wrap her arms around his frame to hold him. "You're doing the best thing by letting them work it out on their own, you know that right? They need to talk this out about this. They need to have that open and honest communication in order for their relationship to work." The advice wasn't much and Danielle knew that. She just hoped that she could help just a little bit. "In a way, I'm also glad that she trusted you with that secret. I know how close you and Caity were and it's taking a step in the right direction again--building up that trust."

Grant sighed as Danielle spoke. He didn't like that he was in the middle of it either but he was glad Caity told him the truth, especially since it changed everything. Her not cheating meant something entirely different and now her only problem was that she lied about something as serious as that just so Colton would walk away from her. Smiling slightly when Danielle wrapped her arms around him, Grant sighed and rested his head against her shoulder. "I know. I just hope she doesn't wait too long. He deserves to know. I mean this is a huge thing. And I'm glad she told me, although I think most of the reason she told me was so that I wouldn't be so angry at her for cheating. Which I get. I mean this changes everything now. I was so angry at her for doing that and I still don't agree that she lied to him about it but if she didn't really cheat on him...well then that's a good thing," he said. "I guess I'll just have to see how it plays out. I hate lying to Colton. Even if I'm not lying to him, I guess it's more of keeping something from him. I don't like doing that either."

Danielle understood the plight that her husband was going through. On the one hand, a friend just divulged a huge secret about that same friend and it wasn’t good to be in the middle of it. If anything, she was more than surprised that Grant had been so silent about this for so long. “This must be eating you alive”, she whispered out to his head now, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “He’s your best friend and to know something like this and keep it from him must be torturous.” Danielle felt for Grant, and it was right then and there that she vowed that she’d help him with anything regarding this matter. “What do you feel like doing? Regarding this? Obviously you can’t tell Colton because it’s not your secret to tell; but what do you want to do?” All the brunette did at this point was try and soothe, running her fingers against his arm that was close to them and press light kisses upon the top of his head where she could reach.

Grant nodded and stared down at his hands. It had been bothering him since this morning and he wasn't sure how long he'd be able to hold back. He didn't like keeping things from Colton, especially something as serious as this but he just hoped he got through to Caity when talking to her earlier. "I don't know. I mean I guess I'll give Caity a few days. That seems like the right thing to do. And if Colton still doesn't know or doesn't bring it up, then I'll have to talk to Caity and tell her that I can't keep hiding this from him. I mean I know he'll probably be mad at her for lying but you would think she'd want to tell him she didn't actually cheat. Unless she just doesn't care...I don't know," he shrugged, letting out a deep sigh. "I guess I should try and forget about it for now. It's out of my control," he said while rubbing his face with his hands.

Danielle let out a soft smile. “I love you, you know”, she told Grant truthfully. Seeing him like this now solidified one of the reasons why she fell in love with him in the first place. He felt everything, was sensitive to those around him, and cared so much for his friends and family. It was a very admirable trait and one that she adored. “And everything will work itself out when it’s supposed to work itself out. You know that. I know that. I’m glad you told me what was bothering you. It must have been hard for you to do so. I’m happy you trust me enough to keep this secret for you.” But Grant was right. They both needed to let this go because it was out of their hands. As much as they wanted to help, they couldn’t—at least, not right now. “Okay, so let’s forget it for now. The baby’s asleep. The dogs are somewhere around the house. You and I are alone and free to do whatever it is that we want. You know what we haven’t done in a while?” Her tone of voice was light, wanting to distract her husband from the thoughts that surrounded him, but she had to break away in order to do so. Moving towards the television now, she pulled out two of the remote controls to the XBOX that she hadn’t touched in forever and showed it them to Grant.

Grant smiled softly. "I love you too. And I'm glad I have you to talk about anything with. I trust you completely and I don't want to keep anything from you. You're my wife," he said to Danielle. Nodding when Danielle told him that they should forget about it right now, Grant wondered what they would be able to do instead. The way his wife was making it sound was that they had alone time to do whatever they want, which usually meant something sexual. But now she had caught him off guard when saying it was something they hadn't done in a while, making her way over to the living room TV. Grinning when she brought over the XBOX controllers, Grant looked up at her. "You sure know the way to my heart," he teased, waiting for the game to turn on so that they could play. "I really don't know the last time I played either, even on my own. Everything's just been so crazy busy."

Danielle agreed completely with the sentiment. Everything has just been so busy that there was no way that they had the time to do the things that they enjoyed. With the baby, the job, and the dogs, there usually wasn't much time left in the day; and Grant needed the distraction right now more than anything. With that said, she turned on the XBOX the only way she knew how and handed him the first person controller. "I don't remember much, but I'll play with you", she told him. The game flashed on the screen and it was the football game that he taught her to play a while ago. It wouldn't be much, but at least they could probably get in a few rounds or so before they'd crash for the night. "It's a bit of a contrast after what we learned at the aquarium now, isn't it? I promise I won't mess with your controller when I start to lose, but I make no promises if I start leaning on you because you're comfortable."

Grant smiled and nodded, glad that Danielle would be up for playing with him. "You'll do fine," he told her, knowing they've played quite a few times together and even if Danielle didn't play nearly as much as he did, she usually picked it up pretty quickly. Chuckling as she mentioned this being different from the aquarium, Grant nodded. "Completely. Huge turn of events. But I think it's good to end the night doing this. I don't want to have sex dreams about sharks doing it," he teased while shaking his head. "That's fine with me. Lean on me as much as you want," he told her, leaning towards his wife to kiss the top of her head gently. When it was time to pick teams, Grant obviously picked the Giants and waited for Danielle to pick her team before they would start. "Do you remember the buttons? This one is to pass, this one is to tackle, you use this to run," he told her, showing her on the controller. "You'll do great. Good luck," he teased, winking at his wife before focusing on the screen.

Danielle giggled at the suggestion that Grant let out, scrunching her nose afterwards. "Do not want you to dream about shark porn", she mumbled out, a bit of determination to her voice. "If anything, you're supposed to be dreaming about me not the sharks." True to form, the brunette looked down and nodded as her husband started to explain the buttons. She needed to pick out a team and now that Grant had chosen the Giants, she'd go with one of the random teams that she knew. The Panthers were chosen then and soon the graphics started to change and go off towards the football field in which they'd be playing. "Coin toss", she told him and now they were ready and reeling to go. "I'm going to need it, I know. You're the pro when it comes to this. But I have my ways." The saying was ominous at best, but Danielle was focused. Once the coin spun on the screen, she pressed her choice and awaited for the verdict to come through.

Grant chuckled and shook his head. "I think I'll pass on that. I'd much rather dream about you. Having sex with you. That sounds nice," he said, grinning at the thought. Seeing Danielle choose the Panthers, Grant waited for them to do the coin toss and to see how that would turn out, listening to his wife say that she had her ways even if he was the pro. "Well consider me intrigued," he smirked, licking his lips. Danielle ended up winning the coin toss which made him laugh. "At least you're a pro at that," he teased, waiting for her to choose. Now that it was time to play, Grant did what he usually did and while he knew he should go a little easy on his wife, he decided not to. "I don't go easy on Tyler so I'm not going to go easy on you either," he smirked as he got a touchdown right away.

Danielle gave Grant just a look before leaning over. "That is nice, isn't it", she whispered into his ear once before pressing her lips to it in a soft kiss. That was all that she would to do distract him for now, considering they had a game to play. The game was intense. Everything that Danielle thought she had forgotten came back and though she didn't get a chance to block the first touchdown, she did try to put up a good fight. "Don't play easy. Go hard, go rough", she started to egg Grant on, her tone of voice softer than what it usually was; but that was probably because she was still speaking against her husband's skin. This time, Danielle nipped at Grant's jawline gently, going forward with her plan to distract, but mainly it was distracting her more so. The game even started beeping for her to choose her next play and she laughed gently, looking down to press a button and continue on with the game. She didn't gain as many yards as she would have liked and soon it was fourth down on her turn. "I think I'm just a bit rusty", she spoke out now, shaking her head at the television.

Grant listened to Danielle telling him to go hard and rough, not easy. "If you insist," he teased, playing like he normally would. He felt a little bad since Danielle wasn't close to being experienced but she wanted to play with him so he was going to enjoy it. As long as she was having fun, that's what mattered. Once he was on defense, he was able to stop her pretty quickly, despite his wife distracting him slightly by kissing his ear and then his jawline. "Mm," he murmured, biting down on his bottom lip as he kept his eyes on the screen. Chuckling when she said she was a bit rusty, Grant shrugged. "That's okay. Me too. I'm only winning by fourteen now and it's halfway done," he teased, continuing the game. It was nice to be doing this with his wife and it was the perfect distraction from everything that was on his mind. He loved that she always knew exactly what he needed and once the game was over, he looked over at her lovingly. "Thank you. For doing this. I know it's not exactly your favorite thing to do but it meant a lot to me and kept my mind off stuff which is exactly what I wanted."

Danielle lost by a long shot, but she didn't mind it. This was supposed to be a chance for her to distract Grant and she was glad that felt better. She returned the look that her husband gave her, nodding her head as she listened to him speak. "I just want you to be okay", she confessed out to him. That was one of the best things that they could do for each other. In her vows, she stated that she would be right beside him through everything and she wanted to uphold it. "Whatever it is that you need, I'll be there to help you through it. You're not alone because I got you. I have your back always." But now Danielle dropped the controller onto her lap and wrapped her arms around her husband to hold herself close to him. "So, now that you're distracted, do you think you need one more game or can we get ready for bed? I can make us a midnight snack too if you're hungry."

Grant nodded. "As long as I have you, I'll be okay," he told his wife sincerely, staring into her eyes. She was already helping a great deal and just talking to someone about it helped in its own way too. Smiling and wrapping his arms around Danielle as she did first, Grant buried his face into her shoulder and let out a sigh. It felt good just to be hugging her right now and he felt so much better than he did this morning after the whole conversation took place. When Danielle asked what he needed next now that he was distracted, Grant thought about it for a minute. "I think getting ready to bed sounds good. I'm not hungry and I feel pretty tired. More emotionally or mentally than physically but either way, we had a nice night and it's getting late anyways," he shrugged, slowly getting up so that they could both head upstairs. When he got upstairs, Grant couldn't help but check on Ali in the nursery, wanting to see her even if she was sleeping soundly. He watched her for a few moments before leaving the room, not wanting to risk waking her and went into the bedroom to start changing into his pajamas.

Danielle gave her husband the okay and moved away from him so that they'd be able to go upstairs. The brunette would go into the kitchen to make sure water was filled for the dogs before going upstairs with her husband. She was right behind him, watching him watch their daughter as well before she broke away from him first. Alison was asleep and they needed to let her rest. For now, she was getting dressed in what would be required of her--loose fitting pajama bottoms were always a plus as well as a shirt--and crawled into bed. "Oh, it feels so good to be laying down after all of that walking", she mumbled out, snuggling into her side and pulling the covers over her frame. Her eyes now were glued to Grant's, her tongue darting out of her mouth to start licking her lips and watching him get ready for bed. "Thank you for a fun night out, baby. And the game was fun even though I lost. It just proves you're the pro between the both of us", she whispered out now, reaching from her side of the bed for him.

Grant smiled softly when Danielle got into bed, knowing it must have felt nice after walking all night. He couldn't wait to get into bed and snuggle with his wife after a long, exhausting day. At least there were good parts to it and that's what made everything worth it. Joining Danielle in bed, Grant let out a sigh and stretched his legs, feeling as great as Danielle did to be laying down now. "Definitely feels nice," he mumbled, snuggling into his wife. "Of course. I'm glad we were able to experience something new together. Not like anything else," he said with a smirk. "Well, we have our hobbies. Mine is video games so of course I'd be better at that. If there was a baking contest, you'd blow me out of the water," he said, smiling softly. Turning off the light, Grant got comfortable against the sheets and closed his eyes, letting out a yawn. "Night, baby. Love you so much," he mumbled before drifting off to sleep.

Danielle had been amused at his sentiment, but Grant was right. "True, but I do believe that you could rival me in a cooking contest. If it was burgers then you're going to win, definitely", she continued to speak out. She had so much pride in Grant, was proud that he could do so much, and adored him just the same. She really and truly believed that she was lucky to have him in her life. But the day was short and soon she was grasping for breath while stifling a yawn, knowing that sleep would be very much needed tomorrow. "I love you more", she said as she reached back to turn off the light that was on her side of the bed and followed her husband right back to sleep.

#theflashgrant #f2f #f2f: theflashgrant #f2f: after hours aquarium distractions

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josephlrushing · 4 years

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IFA 2020 Is Happening: Will It Be a Model for Other Events in the Foreseeable Future?

I had figured that IFA 2020 would be yet another cancellation due to the global pandemic, but today we have word that it will still happen, albeit with major changes. For at least this year’s convention, IFA will be an invite-only event, spanning three days, with no more than 1,000 people attending daily; it looks like I’ll be one of them.

There are a handful of major tech conventions held around the world each year that I consider must-attend events including CES (Consumer Electronics Show), MWC (Mobile World Congress), and IFA (Internationale Funkausstellung Berlin). There are other worthwhile conferences and conventions that occur throughout the year, some of which I also attend, but these are the three that I would never intentionally miss. However, COVID-19 has made me wonder if these huge mega-conferences might soon completely die out due to the pandemic not going away anytime soon and the very real safety concerns raised when trying to handle a hundred thousand or more attendees (and support staff) in a huge convention center.

Allow me to digress for a moment.

CES is held in Las Vegas, and it occurs in early January. Just to give you some perspective, in 2019 it had a total attendance of 175,212. Once you’ve attended CES for a couple of years, you’ll quickly learn that there is a good reason for the half-joking/half-serious expectation that after attending you’ll probably come home with what is commonly called the CES Flu – a term that encompasses a series of ailments including coughing, sore throat, runny nose, body aches, and possibly fever — any of these symptoms or a combination of them will always, always be compounded by exhaustion. Considering how many people attend CES, and how the question has since been raised of whether CES attendance could have contributed to or may have been a major factor in the virus’s spread, I’m amazed that not one of our attending group of five got sick this year. Because this year has not been like any other.

I remember first really paying attention to COVID-19 around the second week of February because one after another, companies that we were supposed to meet with at MWC started dropping out due to virus concerns. This was a first for me in the 21 years I have been covering tech, and it took me aback.

MWC is held in Barcelona, and it occurs in the last week of February; in 2019 it had an attendance of 109,674. By February 12th, COVID-19 concerns on top of the withdrawal of too many major companies from the show had shut down MWC 2020. There were quite a few members of the media who at that point were still considering going to Barcelona and having some version of a shadow convention. After all, many of us had non-refundable flights booked along with a week’s stay in non-refundable Airbnb apartments; we had companies reaching out to us offering smaller meet-and-greets with social distancing if we made the trip to Barcelona, and as of February 12, only one person in Spain had even been diagnosed with the virus, and it was a German tourist who’d been visiting the Canary Islands — so not even a local. After a few day’s consideration, however, we opted not to travel to Barcelona. I felt disappointed at the time; now I am thankful that we didn’t go, as Spain would quickly become a hotspot.

In the days leading up to the first week of March, scheduled trips for the Huawei Mate 40 launch (in late March) and the IFA GPC (in early April) had just been canceled. The day before I traveled to NYC (March 1st), it came out that a woman who had recently traveled from Iran back to NYC had the virus, but her symptoms were reported as mild. This was when we still thought the virus didn’t affect children or young people as severely as it would those who were older. At that point, we thought “older” meant 65+. Yeah, that would prove to be wrong.

I don’t think anyone in NYC was really too concerned about COVID-19 yet, but we were all aware of it by this point in a general sense. I remember that I had stocked up on antibacterial wipes and Purell before making my flight because my best friend had warned me that shortages on those items were already being experienced in Manhattan; that was about the extent of any panicking. The day I arrived in NYC (March 2), we heard about a midtown Manhattan lawyer who had fallen ill via community spread. That was scary. Over the next few days, we would hear about how the neighbor who had driven the lawyer to the hospital was also sick, as were the lawyer’s wife, son, and daughter, as well as a friend of the lawyer’s and his entire family. I think that’s when it first sunk in for me how contagious this virus was and how serious it could be; I was starting to get a little freaked out. I traveled home on March 8th as scheduled, and I don’t remember feeling anxious about traveling at all, but I do remember being very glad to be back home in Texas.

On March 9th, I picked up our granddaughters to keep for spring break. On March 11th, the WHO Director-General declared COVID-19 a global pandemic. On March 12, one of the NY friends that I’d spent a lot of time with the previous week got sick. She couldn’t get tested, but she was sent home to self-quarantine and basically told to assume that she had COVID-19. A few days after that, my best friend got sick, but she wasn’t sick enough to warrant a test. She too was told to assume she had the virus and to self-quarantine. After spending a week worrying about my friends in NYC, being scared that I might be asymptomatic and that I might have exposed everyone I cared about in Texas to the virus, we finally sorted out that my friend had been exposed at her work, on the day after I went home, to an employee who was later found to be sick with COVID-19. She had then given it to my best friend. We would later learn that the employee who had exposed my friend to the virus was dead within a week.

On March 15th, the United States was told to start socially distancing for two weeks; it is only now — over two months later — that non-essential workers are starting to go back to work. Even as fatalities and infected numbers are still rising in some parts of the US, states are starting to reopen.

The fact that so many people have become ill or lost their jobs, or died — and that people are still dying in large numbers every day from this pandemic — makes the cancellation of MWC just a tiny tragedy in the grand scheme of things. Even so, MWC’s absence (along with the cancelation of other major events including Google IO and Facebook 8) has had a negative impact on the tech industry that may not be fully realized for some time. Companies count on these conventions and events for in-person exposure to finance their inventions or as a place to introduce their latest products to the press, buyers, and the public; those opportunities were lost, and many companies have been scrambling to figure out what to do ever since. Of course, the trade-off was well made, as canceling these events kept hundreds of thousands of people from becoming possibly getting infected and then passing the virus on once home.

Kev and I live in a rural Texas area; even so, since March 9th we have been self-quarantining like there’s a zombie apocalypse going on and everyone outside of our home is a possible carrier. Since we started self-isolating, we haven’t been closer than 6 or 7′ to any other people — including family members who don’t live in our house with us — without first having a mask on and/or being outside. If we leave home to go to the grocery store, the recycling center, or the post office we wear a mask, and we sanitize our hands constantly. Neither of us has actually been in a grocery store (or any other store, really) since this started; we’ve been using curbside pickup for groceries and ordering almost everything else we need online. Keeping ourselves safe and healthy has become our new mindset. While I know that self-isolating and physically distancing ourselves from others is the right thing to do right now, I miss my family, I miss my best friend, and I miss traveling. I miss not worrying about whether Kev or I might get sick. I wonder what our new normal will be and at what point we’ll start to realize that whatever we are doing to protect ourselves is the new normal. These have been a weird couple of months … am I right?

As part of this pandemic experience, I’ve developed a new way of thinking that is a lot more cautious. And let me clarify, I am not fearful, but I am cautious. I’m pretty sure that large spaces crammed full of people who aren’t wearing masks or who aren’t trying to physically distance themselves from each other are going to get a huge NOPE from me, possibly for another year or maybe longer. In fact, I am positive that I will never look at another person who is wearing a mask in public and think they are being an alarmist — I’ll think they are being smart and silently thank them.

My best friend (who also happens to be my main travel buddy) and I have been going back and forth on when we think it might be safe to start traveling regularly for work and pleasure again. Just a day or two ago, we were talking about how we might feel safe to travel around the time that IFA is usually held. See, we had already had it in our mind that even by September, IFA as we knew it wouldn’t be happening. Berlin’s ban on all events over 5,000 made the conference seem even less likely.

#IFA20: Set for an innovative concept designed for unprecedented times.

IFA Berlin is set to go ahead in 2020, but with an innovative new concept, following the decision by the Berlin government to ban all events with more than 5,000 participants until 24 October 2020. 1/6 pic.twitter.com/MLDvamLXzf

— IFA Berlin (@IFA_Berlin) April 21, 2020

I was thinking IFA might make the conference an all-virtual event like others have done. It turns out, I was wrong.

And that brings us to the latest news.

IFA is held in Berlin, and it generally runs for 5 days in early September. Billed as the largest consumer electronics trade show in the world, IFA had 245,000 attendees in 2019. 245,000! Part of the reason that the numbers are so huge is that unlike CES and MWC, IFA generally opens its doors to the public after the first couple of days.

Would I be willing to attend a conference with 245,000 others attending anywhere today— or even in the next 6 months? Absolutely not. Would you?

I haven’t even been inside a restaurant since March 9th; I can’t imagine being in the typical convention hall with thousands and thousands of people right now. It absolutely gives me the heebie-jeebies. :-/

Would I consider attending an invitation-only IFA event in early September that is closed to the public and that caps max attendance at just 1,000 people per day for three days? Yes, I think my collection of face masks and I could make that work. Even if the mere idea of eating in a restaurant seems so foreign right now.

They’re calling it the IFA 2020 Special Edition, and the conference will consist of four stand-alone events that will include the IFA Global Press Conference that members of the international press usually attend in April; it will include a Keynote by Cristiano Amon, the President of Qualcomm, as well as keynotes and presentations from other companies on its “two or three keynote stages curated by IFA.” The second event will be a combination of IFA NEXT and IFA SHIFT Mobility which will focus on bringing technology start-ups and companies in the connected mobility sector together, “to help them get the much-needed lifeblood of publicity and industry connections. For innovators, disruptors, tech journalists, and digital influencers interested in the cutting edge of technology, this will be the year’s most important event to attend.” IFA Global Markets is Europe’s largest sourcing show for OEMs and ODMsThis is IFA’s answer to the Industry’s need for a sourcing show “to repair and restructure its supply chains hit by the disruption of the COVID-19 pandemic.” It looks like attendees will still have plenty of networking opportunities with the IFA Business, Retail & Meeting Lounges I’m not sure how they measure it, but IFA said that in 2019, “brands and retailers struck deals worth more than 4.7 billion euro during the event in Berlin. While the pandemic will make it impossible to replicate this level of deal-making and networking, IFA Berlin will curate the IFA Business, Retail & Meeting Lounges to give brands and manufacturers the much-needed opportunity to meet retailers in a safe and efficient manner ahead of the year’s all-important shopping season.”

Of course, with such a relatively small show, everyone who wants to won’t be able to attend; there will likely be plenty who don’t want to or can’t travel. That’s why there will also be a Virtual IFA Experience which will allow everyone who can’t be present the opportunity to still be part of the IFA Berlin experience.

Will IFA 2020 Special Edition be what we are used to? No. But it will likely be the first actual tech event many of us have attended in person since the pandemic began. Carly and I were talking about the likelihood of CES being canceled the other day, and in its present form, we can’t see how it won’t be. But what if CES and other huge conventions took a page from IFA — at least until this pandemic is under control (or we have a vaccine) — and they held smaller, more intimate gatherings with an option to videostream from anywhere? What if MWC did the same? That might be the smartest way forward, at least until we figure out what our new normal when it comes to trade shows will be.

What do you think? What would it take to make you feel comfortable attending your usual trade shows and conferences, or do you think that a different way of doing things is the only way forward? If you see a different way forward, do you think it will involve smaller events, live streaming, virtual reality, or something no one has even tried yet?

IFA Berlin will be open to invited participants from 3 to 5 September 2020. You can learn more here.

from Joseph Rushing https://geardiary.com/2020/05/20/ifa-2020-is-happening-will-it-be-a-model-for-other-events-in-the-foreseeable-future/

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