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beautifulramblingbrains · 7 years

Text

Bound By Blood - Chapter 9

Pairing: Eric/OC *Sarah* Fandom: Divergent Rating: M - Red flags. No kids.

She’s bound by the love for her family. And he won’t rest till he finds the face to his ghosts.

A/N: ...And we have the longest chapter yet. It’s a biggy. Also, a huge thanks to @murmelinchen for all her time and patience. And thanks to everybody and your support, it’s what keeps me going. :)

Tags: @dauntlessmetalmom @equalstrashflavoredtrash @badassbaker @red-diary @pathybo @insertamazingwords @feminamortem @halefiresurvivor @suchlonelymuchsoul @elaacreditava @lauraaan182 @synnocence @jcause @glittergiirlgg @frecklefaceb @mimigemrose @sparklemichele @beltz2016 @ariwolff14 @queensoybean @impalalala6799 @tomarisela @bookwarm85 @original46 @tigpooh67 @alida90 @beastcoastbitchez @seriskye @summerealexander

Cradling her books to her chest, Mary rushes up the path to school all because Meredith was playing on her broken nose that morning. As far as she knew, dizziness was not a symptom but more of an excuse or probably punishment to make her get Thomas ready, so her mother could hide the black bruises under her eyes and not get out of bed.

Mary has always been timely and being late made her feel on edge. But in fact, she was not late at all, just out of her usual routine. As the rest of the pupils stroll towards the entrance, she doesn't pay any attention to who is around her while rushing. And she doesn't see the foot that trips her in time. She falls, still cradling her books, some tumbling out of her arms onto the pathway and she lands with a surprised gasp.

"Oh shit! Mary!" Ross half laughs, the group of friends she used to hang around with crowding around her. "Let me help," he coos but instead of helping, he picks up one of her books and lobs it onto the grass.

Mary pulls herself up, wiping her knees and elbows. "You jerk!"

"Damn, I thought you didn't want the book, I thought that's why you dropped it."

Rebecca steps forward and sneers, "We heard about your sister. I guess, all the stories are true."

Mary ignores her, attempting to gather her stuff back together. Once straight, the group doesn't let her pass, forming a circle around her. She looks between them all, then back over her shoulder. She spots Mark patrolling with two others, and she's glad he hasn't noticed her yet - the last thing she wanted was to be seen being bullied by her former crush.

"You're going to be late for class." She tries an act of distraction, but they merely laugh at her.

"Your sister's a mistress!" Ross jokes. "Hey, that kind of rhymes."

"You are so dumb." Rebecca rolls her eyes, then simpers at Mary. "I'm sad you're not our friend anymore. Apparently we're not good enough for you."

"Bad mouthing my sister is a sure way of that." Mary looks behind her again to Mark who has spotted her and her smile falls at the look on his face - Dauntless didn't like the weak. Nor was he going to be thrilled that she wasn't popular or had friends.

"If you don't mind…" She tries shouldering past but Ross pushes her again. With the heat of the moment, she is pushed again by someone else till everyone begins to swirl around her.

"Stop! Don't touch me!" All she can hear is them snickering and words of insults till she's finally shoved from the circle. But not by her old group of friends, instead it's Mark who frees her from her attackers.

He squares up to Ross, glaring down from his towering height at him. The normal sated look in his eyes is fierce and a silent warning drips from his body language.

"Who are you?" Ross tries to stand his ground.

"It doesn't matter who I am. Touch her again, and we're going to have a problem here."

"Stand down, Dauntless." It was the wrong thing to say. Mark pulls his arm back and boxes him straight in the face. Rebecca stumbles back with her boyfriend and one of them begins walking backwards. When Mark grabs Ross by the collar and lifts him from the floor, Mary gets her first glimpse of his Dauntless blood as he hisses something to Ross which she can't hear. He releases him with a shove, dusts himself off and adjusts his cap. Putting his arm around Mary's shoulders, he walks her to the entrance.

"Mark, it's okay." Though she didn't feel it and she felt incredibly stupid, she tries to portray that it was nothing by keeping her head down.

"No, it's not. Nobody treats my girl that way." He's still angry but when he catches her eyes, he lifts his lips to smile at her.

"Your girl?"

"I'll be waiting for you after school."

When they stop, Mary takes the few steps up to the door, then suddenly turns back. She pecks his cheek, blushes and gives him one last look over her shoulder before she disappears inside the school.

Eric's vest doesn't cover the nail marks that decorate his back and shoulders, nor does he care. He hits the bag, working hard on his arm muscles after a heavy round on the weights, feeling the skin stretch and taut in healing. He's vaguely aware of someone approaching him, but doesn't bother turning to them.

"Hey, what happened to you last night?" Wayne drawls, chewing on candy and dressed for a day at the office, not for the gym.

Eric exhales, shaking off the pain in his wrists. "I went home." He bends down for his water, glancing at a group of people passing them.

"Saw you with the Stiff..." Eric's eyes snap to him but Wayne remains casual. "You do her?"

Eric's eyes narrow at him. "Why is that any of your business?"

"It's just real sweet, man." He smiles tightly, nodding his head. "It's great that you're trying to be a family man now."

"Seriously, fuck off, Wayne," Eric grumbles and grabs his hoodie.

Wayne follows him when Eric makes a break for the exit. "It just seems too drastic. Some gray girl turning up with some kid, claiming she lived with you, she's sorry-"

"It's not some kid, he's mine. And his name is Jack, you asshole," Eric throws over his shoulder.

"He may be yours, but you sure it wasn't like, entrapment or something? It's funny how it's such a short amount of time and, by the looks of your shoulders, you've fallen right into bed with her again."

Eric suddenly stops and Wayne almost walks into him. "What are you implying?"

"I'm not implying…" Wayne gestures with his fingers at himself. "This is me, a friend of ten years and counting, looking out for you."

"You'll be counting the stars around your head if you don't start backing out of my business." Eric shoves him by his shoulder.

"Hey, man! Relax!"

In his aggravation, Eric wipes at his mouth. "I'm fucking tired of everyone thinking they know more than me. If you were so worried and interested in my life, Wayne, you would've known about the memory serum." Eric raises an eyebrow, then sneers when Wayne doesn't respond. "Didn't think so." He takes a few steps and then turns back. "Oh, and I want all security and patrol reports on my desk by the time I get there…" Eric grins wickedly. "Till then."

Wayne watches him leave, pulling out another piece of candy and shoves it into his mouth, cursing to himself. He should've gotten rid of Sarah when he had the chance.

Eric can't lie to himself that he didn't think about Wayne's words himself at some point. It did seem logical. But having known Sarah, and her plight for family, he knew it couldn't be true.

Taking off his shoes by the door, he's about to call out for her but his phone bleeps instead. He pulls it out, quickly scanning it. It's an email from Johanna from Amity. He huffs before loading her long spritely message of thanks over the hearing of the factionless being taken care of and the new found safety of their deliveries. It's full with questions about supplies, events, and even an invitation for a visit. Eric cringes at the thought.

His biggest problem at the moment was crippling Jeanine with the support of the other factions. He needed to make arrangements with the faction leaders, explain in person the situation as he didn't trust the safety of the database, and find out whether he could sway them towards his ideas. It shouldn't be too hard. But, the fact he was going to be calling for her execution - that part would be delicate to handle.

However, that was the legal route. He could easily gather a small army, walk in and throw her from the top of the building. But then he would lose trust and cooperation from the other factions and that could be damaging… for a pretty long while.

It was mighty tempting and it makes him laugh, thinking of Jeanine sitting confidently behind her desk, high in her castle, none the wiser to his planning or what role he is going to take part in. What she surely must know is that he will be eventually coming for her. And that he will, with great pleasure.

But first, the structure of the factions was at stake. There would be nothing to run without the security of the inner workings of society.

What he thought was an issue with initiates becoming factionless, he had come up with a unique idea. The fields of Amity were a grueling task, sentence of a lifetime for failure, but also damned to be with the cotton-pullers. Rather than factionless - or Jeanine's planted idea of removing Abnegation, he wanted to exercise a form of labor as a substitute for failure. Not only would it aid the city, it would keep the peace, cleanse his name, lessen another brain ache. Amity could be diplomatic and maybe that would convince Johanna to agree. She could share the bread for all the fucks he gave.

"Eric?" Sarah appears from the hallway of the bedrooms, a worried expression on her face. "Are you okay?" Jack is in her arms and she rubs his back slowly. "I heard you come in."

He hadn't realized he had been standing by the door for so long. "Everything's fine." He sighs and steps in front of her. "But I have to ask you something," he says, pausing to place a hand on Jack's head. "What's the history between you and Wayne?"

She blinks a few times before dropping her eyes. "Mary worked for Wayne and he used her. He did it out of spite to get to me as he didn't like our relationship..." She trails off, stopping herself from saying much more, Wayne's words suddenly ringing in her mind over whether or not Eric would believe her over him. "I don't trust him."

"Should I trust him?" he asks, his voice quiet and rumbling from his chest. When Sarah looks into his eyes, he gets the answer before she even has to say it.

"No."

He bites his lip and leans forward, pausing only for a second to tangle his fingers into the side of her hair before he kisses her for a long moment. When he breaks away, he asks, "Did you go to the infirmary?"

"Yes." She still has her eyes closed and he caresses the side of her face, watching her lean into his touch with a frown.

"Will you ever lie to me again?"

"No. And I never wanted to lie to you."

She opens her eyes to gaze up at him and he clucks his tongue. "For a long time I dreamt of you." He sighs and smiles at her. "How could I forget those eyes?"

"You never really did." She smiles back at him shyly. "You found me, remember?"

"Just..." His lip quirks suddenly, suppressing a laugh. "And I also found our son, which has just thrown up on you."

"Jack!" she exclaims and moves him quickly back to look at the milk dribble all over her shoulder and hands him to Eric. She rushes to the sink and Eric follows slowly behind her as she cleans herself up.

"By the way, we're going to Amity." Jack's head wobbles back to look up at him when he speak as if he had just realized who was there and smiles. "You alright, boy?" The little boy's face falls serious and he begins kicking ferociously, breathing rapidly and squeaks.

"Really?"

"Yeah… soon," Eric says distantly, frowning at Jack. "What is this kid doing?"

Sarah laughs, watching Jack open mouthed and trying to reach Eric's shoulder. "He vomited, so he probably thinks he's hungry again." She drifts in thought. "He eats so much… I wonder if that's because he sleeps through the night..."

"How do I know?"

"Maybe we should try and avoid a feeding, get him to sleep? It really wasn't that long ago."

"I'll put him in the bouncer. He likes that thing."

"Yeah." Sarah nods, watching Eric crouching down to put him in it. "Yeah, he can doze in there."

But when he does so, Jack begins crying and Eric huffs. "What now?"

"Maybe he just wants to be held?" Eric rolls his eyes but puts him to his shoulder and paces slowly up and down, rubbing his back. "Aren't you working today?"

"I'm supposed to be."

"I'll take him then." Sarah takes a step but Eric holds his hand out.

"No. I've already missed so much," Eric whispers something to Jack as he soothes him and Sarah feels a warmth spread in her chest at the sight of them together. Suddenly being too emotional, she wipes at her tears quickly so Eric can't see. "He even frowns in his sleep."

"Thanks for walking me home, Mark." Mary keeps her hands clasped in front of her, standing on the doorstep to her house. "I would invite you in, but-"

"The mother?" he offers with a wry smile.

"Well, yes. But I doubt she would show her bruised face." Mary scoffs. "Anyway, I have a few things I need to do."

Mark frowns. "Like what?"

"I make my nephew's clothes. I also do mine and Sarah's clothes, the odd button when my mother wants me to."

Mark has a funny expression on his face, smiling slightly. "You make clothes? When were you going to let that slip?"

"Being a tailor is not exactly cool." She gestures with her fingers.

"Like I care... But since you mentioned it, I broke my zipper pocket." He points to his jacket pocket. "Is that a reasonable excuse to come in?"

Mary tries to hide her smile by biting her lip. "Tell you what, we'll make a deal. You come in and I fix your pocket, and then I can send you back to Dauntless with the stuff I finish."

"Sounds fair." Mary holds the door open and invites him in.

"Oh, but be warned, Thomas will have you playing trucks."

"...his room needs pictures and things. Lots of colors. I was thinking the alphabet and numbers up one wall. At least then he can look at them…" Sarah rambles on to Eric. From time to time he glances up from his computer in his office to where they sat and she'd be either pulling faces or helping Jack stand up on her lap. "He can't go into his own room until six months-"

"What?" Eric says dryly, his face falling.

"For safety reasons. But that's okay, because you're a good sleeper, aren't you?" she coos.

"A good sleeper with no consideration for adult time. I find adult time fun." Eric lets the words roll off his tongue suggestively, raising an eyebrow at Sarah when she whips her head across to him.

She turns Jack around, facing him away and puts her hands over his ears. "He doesn't need to hear things like that, and especially swearing, Eric."

"I can't help it. Sometimes it just fucking slips out."

"Now, hold your son and say that again." She stands up, taking Jack over him.

"Sarah I'm trying to work."

She places him on Eric's lap anyway. "You've barely done anything since we've been here."

"Yeah," he mocks. "Because your mother is a blabbermouth." He picks up Jack's arm and salutes her.

"Mommy. Mother reminds me too much of my mom."

"I'm not using that." He shakes his head.

"I call you daddy…"

"Not in the way I want you to." He snorts when her face crumples up. "In fact, I want you saying it properly tonight." He reaches out to her skirt and tugs on it, rolling his chair after her when she tries to make a break for it.

"Eric!" She half giggles and shrieks when he latches a hand around her leg. He hoists Jack to his shoulder, having her stand over one of his legs as he ventures upwards.

A knock on the door makes Sarah blush and stand back while Eric keeps his eyes on her. "Come in," Eric calls, grinning at her.

Clair appears, a perfectly composed face with Sarah standing there, having watched her pass earlier. She doesn't hesitate and says, "A soldier, Mark, is here to see Sarah."

That immediately bothers Eric and he sits straighter. He still hadn't caught up with the little twerp. He waves his hand for Clair to send him in.

"Hey, Sar," Mark says when he steps into the office. Him shortening Sarah's name makes Eric frown harder. In Mark's hands is a box and when Clair shuts the door, he walks more into the room, placing it on the vacant chair. "I saw Mary yesterday. Gave me this stuff to give to you." He clears his throat, nodding to Eric. "Eric...Jack."

"She's silly, she shouldn't have." But it doesn't stop her from opening it, pulling out a dress and holding it to her body.

"She is really good at that."

"I know. I keep telling her to do it professionally." She smiles at Eric over her shoulder but he's indifferent. "Can you give her a message-"

"No point, sweetheart," Eric cuts her off. "You'll be seeing her tomorrow." He stands up, passing Jack to Sarah when he passes her and comes face to face with Mark. "You and Mary, are you more than friends?"

"We are dating, sir."

"Right…" Eric smirks in his own amusement. "I'm inviting you and Mary to a trip to Amity tomorrow, staying a few days. You up for it?"

Mark seems taken aback, looking at Sarah with a sense of worry. "Er, well-"

"Actually, it's not really an option, boy. You can tell her on your patrol tonight to get herself ready. Nine AM sharp I want you down in the warehouse waiting for us." He jabs a finger into Mark's chest in warning. "It doesn't mean you're off duty, though."

"Yes, sir. Certainly." He nods. "Sarah, see you tomorrow."

"Bye, Mark." When he leaves, almost tripping over his own feet, she turns to Eric. "Thank you."

"I did it for me. It might just mean we can catch a night alone together." His eyes darken as he saunters back over to her. "No disturbances… No excuses." He grabs her waist, careful of Jack and pulls her to him. "And no more having to listen to your fucking baby talk." He leans down and kisses her.

"Language," she barely whispers against his lips.

"I make the rules, and I break them," he mumbles before he leans back in.

When the kiss gets too heated, Sarah puts a finger against his lips. "Amity," she whispers the word as a promise.

Mary's already waiting outside the house when they pull up. She waves when they come into view and Sarah is sure Eric brakes harder than necessary knowing Mark was in the back of the truck - there's a thump and a muffled yelp.

Scooting up to the middle seat closer to Eric, Mary sits next to Sarah and dumps her bag in the footwell. They hug, because it had felt like the longest time they hadn't seen each other. Mary plays with Jack's hand on Sarah's lap as the truck begins to pull away and she can't help but turn her head and admire the man next to her. He catches her, mirth playing on his lips and puts his hand on her thigh.

After a while of driving, she speaks quietly to Eric when she sees Mary dozing off as she stares out the window. "I know you," she tells him in just above a whisper. He doesn't take his eyes off the road, just merely hums in response. "You dislike Amity, so there is another reason why we are going."

"I've arranged a meeting with Johanna for this afternoon. I have to clear a few things up."

"We went to Amity once. I stood in on one of your meetings."

Eric's furrowed brows tell her he's pondering her words. "Last time I went it was about expansion. A little warning to Johanna after I examined their new buildings."

"No. You took me there before that."

"I did?" Now he looks at her and she smiles. "Why?"

"I never really knew..." She peers over at Mary who is resting her head on the glass and closing her eyes. "Until now, that is."

"I don't see a purpose of you being there," Eric says bluntly in his typical style.

"I think it's because you wanted me there." She lets the rumble of the engine drift between them before continuing. "Do you remember anything?"

"Do you want me to be honest?

Sarah chews her lip. "It's a new thing we're trying."

Eric rubs a thumb against his mouth, bracing his arms against the wheel. "I remember…" He winces at the pain in his head, but only subtly and if Sarah didn't know him well enough she wouldn't have seen it. "A girl. An Amity girl… taking her clothes off."

"That girl wasn't Amity." For him to say that so ordinary, she guessed it wasn't the first time he had had that experience, and even though it was in the past, it still hurt a little. "That was me. That time, at least."

His eyes are sharp when he looks over at her. "You told me to be honest."

"I know." She tilts her head, keeping her gaze on Jack asleep in her arms. "Do you remember anything else?"

"Lots of things are a mess in my head, Sarah. Do you want me to tell you every experience I've ever had there?"

"I just wanted to know if you remember taking my first kiss." She keeps her eyes trained on their sleeping son and when he doesn't respond, she sighs, feeling stupid to feel so romantic about this moment so long ago in their past. "Don't worry about it. It wasn't that great anyway."

Eric scoffs. "Are you pissed at me? Are we going to have the who-done-what conversation now? Is that what road we're driving down?"

"I was hoping you remembered and that's why you were taking us. Don't worry, it was foolish of me."

Eric throws his head back to the road. "Well, I don't remember and I can assure you it pains me greatly that I don't." They hit a bump and as the trucks shudders, he automatically puts his arm out across both Sarah and Jack protectively before continuing. "And what the fuck? It wasn't that great?"

"I didn't particularly like you at the time. And I didn't really know myself back then. It was difficult."

"You didn't know yourself but you took your clothes off for me? Pull the other one…" He chuckles to himself.

"You told me to take my clothes off and I barely knew you. You made me eat the Amity bread! But then we had a disagreement and you put me in a cold shower..." Sarah rambles on while Eric watches her from the corner of his eyes.

"Alright, that's enough!" Eric rubs his forehead in agitation.

"No, I need to say this! I need to make things clear if you don't remember. It will make more sense for what I did." She scrunches her nose up at the memories. "You made me question myself, my morals, standards; things I shouldn't have been worrying about."

"Are you looking for an apology over things I can't recall?" he asks incredulously.

"I just want to know why..."

"Why what?!" His voice raises and Sarah jumps, scanning Jack and Mary who haven't moved.

"Why it had to be that way…"

"Fuck's sake," Eric mutters under his breath. "I can't give you the explanation you're asking for."

"Try…"

"So help me god I am about to turn this truck around and drop you back at Dauntless," he hisses, slouching back into his shoulders.

"Why are you getting so angry? It's only me and you right now."

"Because you infuriate me!" His driving becomes more erratic and he shifts in his seat. "But let's take a wild guess because you are obviously so absorbed by this-"

"I'm not absorbed," Sarah says quietly, rolling her eyes.

"Let's throw a girl like you under my feet at Dauntless. Not just any girl, some blond haired, blue-eyed, fucking intelligent piece of skirt. Have her stroll around like you did when I saw you back in Abnegation. Smiling, laughing... That," he points at her when her eyes widen at him. "Pfft…" He exhales angrily and shakes his head. "You have no idea."

Sarah doesn't say anything, letting him calm down. But eventually he speaks, "You said you didn't exactly like me, I guess, I saw it as a game."

Sarah nods, keeping herself small next to him. "I see."

"A game that fucking backfired and bit me in the ass." He rubs a hand through his hair, his jaw ticking as he slowly begins to shut down again.

She knows she has to lighten the mood before they get to Amity, the last thing she wanted was a wall being built up between them again. "We've done a lot of things, but biting you in the ass isn't one of them." She lets the sway of the truck move her body, trying to keep her lips tight as not to smile.

Eric shakes his head, scoffing as he peers up to the sky through the windscreen and cracks an impressive smile. "Was that a joke?"

"I'm trying-"

"That was bad..."

Sarah can't help but laugh when she thinks about it, especially when Eric becomes consumed by her giggling.

They are greeted with what Sarah believes to be Dauntless that have been policing alongside Amity. With them a crowd of Amity gathers, Johanna fronting them in all her orange glory.

Mary blinks, waking up to the truck stopping and Jack stirs.

"Just in time," Eric says more to himself as he shuts off the engine and throws his door open.

Mary gathers her bag and is helped down by Amity folk with wide, bright smiles and bountiful greetings.

Putting Jack to her shoulder, she adjusts her skirt to climb down and suddenly Eric's hand appears in her view. Sarah takes it and he aids her to the edge of the seat, then swaps to hold her at the waist as he sets her to the floor. Covering Jack with a blanket from sight and the weather, they round together to be faced with Johanna's intrigued grin.

"Why... I think we have met before." She bows her head at Sarah. "Hello, Eric." Eric nods forcefully back at her. "And we have a new addition," she insinuates to the baby held protectively.

"His name is Jack," Sarah says and smiles.

"Jack Coulter. Has a certain ring to it, doesn't it?" Her eyes flicker to Eric when he turns his head to the side in disdain.

"I like it."

Johanna holds her arm out. "Please, we have been waiting for your arrival. You must be hungry."

Sarah glances at Eric momentarily, he's tilting his head back almost grimacing. "Starving!" She speaks for them all and overly expressive, not wanting to appear rude.

Johanna aids Sarah with a hand gently on her back, having her walk first in front of everyone. "If I'd have known about the baby, I would have made your greeting far less crowded."

Eric stands on the spot, watching the people peel away after the Amity leader. Squinting from the sun bearing down, he loathes every single second being on Amity turf. Mark rushes to his side and he barely looks at him. "You're the bag boy." Then he marches off, preparing himself to be somewhat civil as the Dauntless patrol swamp him.

From what Sarah is seeing, the meeting isn't going so well. She stands curtly next to Eric who is seated behind a small table almost in the middle of the room, his fingers twirling and plucking at a piece of her skirt while he slouches back, a stoic mask on his face.

Eric isn't particularly happy with Johanna's extra company that she'd only notified him of five minutes before they were due to start. When Sarah had asked during lunch, he had explained a little the topics that would be covered and what he was truly trying to accomplish with the meeting. He had kept his voice low, so only she would hear about it.

Her curiosity however, drew her the short straw and he'd requested her to accompany him in on the meeting. But more importantly, she remembers him being steadfast on his own words that, 'there was no chance in hell' that he would reveal information regarding Jeanine to anyone other than her, or the specific Leader's of each faction - the plans didn't need to fall into the wrong hands.

By the subtle tick in his jaw, it was obvious he was now finding this meeting a waste of time. And as if, by destiny, to top everything off and for Johanna to live up to his preferred nickname as 'Wench', it's not even her who is talking, it's some older gentlemen. And he's ruthlessly tearing into Eric's new idea that Sarah finds she actually agrees with.

"...we can not express our gratitude towards the settling of the factionless. But how can we possibly agree to letting strays from every faction...failures…" The older gentlemen specifically elaborates while standing. "...inhabit so close to a faction of peace." He leans on the desk, showing his expressive concern to the Amity spokespeople and sweeping his head down the line to insert his distress. "They will have a problem already, in the first place," he taps the desk, "and this problem becomes rebellion. It will be the same, time and time again." Johanna nods in agreement with him, and Eric huffs.

Sarah feels Eric before she notices him lean forward. He roams over her quickly, nothing telling on his face, and chooses his words carefully before giving his attention back to the Amity. "I have evaluated every possible scenario, and this will work. If things continue the way they are, all of us can abandon the idea of ever having any peace, whatsoever, in any faction. Disagreeing with an idea striving for a chance for the future and to move forward, well, you might as well tear down your manuscript in regards to freedom and harmony." He breathes audibly, shifts in his seat and grimaces expressively. "But let's be honest here, you've got yourselves an already existing problem." He flicks an index finger between the group of people facing him, including Johanna. "And I don't know what this is, and I don't frankly care, but I'm not fucking impressed in the slightest."

Johanna's eyes widen and somebody gasps. Sarah drops her head to the floor, briefly closing her eyes and gnaws her lip nervously.

"I know you are all terribly aware of Johanna's status, the trouble her kindness has undoubtedly caused which affected your faction to the literal point you had to beg for permission to expand - which was in fact, issued by me." He scoffs. "Is it fear that makes you unable to front this meeting alone, Johanna?"

"Mr. Coulter, we do not take kindly to threats, or for that matter, swearing so openly."

Eric glares at the man being so brave as to interfere. "I don't take kindly to deadbeats trying to argue with every single damned thing I've mentioned today. Who exactly are you anyway?"

"Johanna's top informant."

Eric scoffs and shakes his head. "I don't like you," he says openly and watches Johanna's informant sink back into his seat. "You should be very careful how you speak to me. Dauntless is still the policing faction."

"Yes, we are all aware of your capabilities, Mr. Coulter."

Eric runs his tongue along his teeth, sitting back more in his chair, eyes locked onto the people in front of him. "I find myself having been quite lenient as of late, and I'm dealing with the pitfalls. Well… this stops now."

There is a low mumble from the Amity and Eric pauses to take a sip of water, lost in his own thoughts. Sarah finds herself looking between the five Amity and then to Eric who has fronted this meeting alone.

"May I ask you something, Johanna…" Sarah keeps her voice quiet as not to catch the attention in the room. But it was pointless, every person has stopped what they were doing and directed all their attention onto her, even Eric.

Johanna seems hesitant, but nods gracefully for her to continue. "What is the cause for your concern?" Sarah tilts her head in thought, following a line on the floor before meeting the older woman's eyes. "Because... living out here quite comfortably, instead of being sent off to live factionless - harvesting fields does not seem like such a terrible alternative."

"Are we really going to let an Abnegation lead this meeting?" the older gentleman shouts, rudely interrupting her.

"Shut the fuck up," Eric snaps.

The gentleman opens his mouth, but Johanna throws her hand out at him. "Enough, Derek. I want to hear what she has to say. Every opinion matters."

Sarah tries to smile, though it falters. She felt somewhat overwhelmed by all the attention and that maybe she was about to make a fool out of herself. But she had told herself in the past multiple times that it was time to do something, to not sit back and watch anymore, and now she was going to live up to it. "I'm just wondering why there would be a possibility of a rebellion when everything they protested for is clearly covered?"

Eric's snort is the loudest in the room. He kicks his leg out, obviously overjoyed by the simple, yet, correct information she had thrown out towards their debate. "Makes you wonder, doesn't it, sweetheart... Rebellion?" He looks up at Sarah before he meets Johanna's eyes. "For what?"

Pursing her lips, Johanna tilts her head to the side in thought as she writes something down on the paper in front of her. The stares and silence in the room make Sarah shift uncomfortably until Johanna speaks. "Do we get the pleasure of dictation regarding the set-up?" she asks.

"That is to be discussed. But certainly, yes, if beneficial," Eric answers formally.

"Well..." Johanna claps her hands together, standing up and looking to the people around her. "It seems we need some time to come to an agreement."

"You have three days," Eric counters, scooting his chair back and gathers a folder in front of him.

"Enjoy your stay." Someone calls out to them as Sarah rushes to keep up with Eric. They descend the stairs from Johanna's loft office, and she almosts runs into him, not realizing he'd stopped.

She wets her dry lips, the scratch painful in her throat as she swallows. "I'm sorry, Eric. I didn't mean to-"

"You undermined my position, Sarah." He's frowning and she shakes her head, trying to find words, stammering as she does. "But you couldn't have chosen a better time."

"What?" She says airily, not expecting his approval at all.

His smile is almost evil, his arm wrapping around her waist as he guides her from the building. "You've been a good girl."

After dinner, they remain close to the dome, the focal point of Amity. The huge glass doors are left wide at the social gathering. With the sun having set over an hour ago, it left the sky illuminated by clusters of stars and a full moon beaming brightly, covering them in a tinged light. It drew everyone outside, along with the bearable evening temperature.

Sarah sits on the outside benches with Mary, cradling a sleeping Jack as they talk quietly, watching people and catching up on things they had missed. Mary tells her all about Mark mostly, how kind and attentive he had been recently, and their first date. She loved how easy they could drop back into their old ways and she had missed it greatly.

"So, how are things with Eric?" Mary suddenly changes topic, expectantly smiling at her.

Sarah looks down at Jack, tucking in a corner of his blanket to keep him warm, wondering just how specific she should get. "Okay," she replies and smiles apologetically.

Mary frowns. "Sarah, you can't just give me an 'okay'… Okay can mean a lot of things."

"More than okay, I guess." She briefly looks up at the moon. "It was a bit rough at first. But we have seemed to have found an even ground, sort of." With her free hand she plays with a gap on the table in distraction.

"But I suppose that means now you won't be coming back…" Mary can't help the disappointment in her voice, however manages to keep her small smile.

"I would love to. I want to be able to be with everyone."

"I understand."

"But I really mean that. I want to be able to be with everyone. But I-"

Mary reaches over and touches her hand. "I, more than anyone, understand. You have your own family now, and Eric is a part of that. Do you remember what I said before?"

"If you need me, you know I would be there, straight away." Sarah rushes, holding her hand tighter.

"Of course, and you know, Mother hasn't been all that bad." She waves a hand dismissively. "Meredith is being Meredith but somewhat less intrusive. I think the mess from before has made her changed her attitude."

"Yes, I think so. But it's a shame, I just feel like we will never truly get along. We're too different. I'd never be able to live with her again even if I tried."

Mary peers to the table. "I'm not like Mom, am I?"

"Oh god, Mary… No! What would make you say that?"

Mary sinks a little into her shoulders. "On nights like this, I think of Lizzie. I think she was like Mom."

"She was her own person. She wasn't like Meredith, but I feel she would've possibly been Dauntless."

"Do you remember that time she cut holes into Mom's blouse because she couldn't go to her friend's birthday meal?" Mary laughs on the memory.

"That's only because a few days before that she dropped all the dinner plates when Mother explained she should go to more after school activities to help the elderly."

They both laugh loudly. "She blamed the shirts on me because I'm the one with the kit." Mary's laughter falters and Sarah holds her hand tighter, trying not to let the heaviness in her own chest show.

"I think she is laughing with us right now."

A tear slips down Mary's cheeks. "I think so, too."

"I bet she is the most fiery, brightest star in the sky tonight. Maybe we should pick one out, and whenever we think of her, just take a moment to find it. The stars are always there, even in the day, we just can't see them." Sarah scans the sky quickly for the most obvious star, then points. "That one!"

Following her line of sight, Mary waves at it. "Hello, Lizzie." She sniffs, wiping her cheek quickly while looking over Sarah's shoulder. "Just like the stars are always there, so is Jack's father… he's coming this way." Sarah gives her hand one last squeeze before releasing it. "I'll take Jack now and I'll see you in the morning."

Sarah looks up in surprise, looking between her sister and the sleeping child. "Will you-"

"We'll be fine. I've had the full conversation with Eric at dinner."

Sarah briefly remembers Eric taking her sister to the side before joining them, but she is still surprised. "Oh, right…"

"Mark's my doorman all night." Mary untangles herself from the bench and rounds to Sarah, taking Jack carefully from her arms. "The rooms are amazing here," she says with a wink.

Sarah still can't help but worry, standing herself and stroking Jack's head. "How will I-"

Large hands grip her shoulders, pulling her back. "They are in the cabin next door, Sarah," Eric soothes her and she blushes, looking at him out of the corner of her eyes. "I have every faith in Mary." His words a more of a warning than anything else.

Mary's smirking and Sarah wonders what Eric had said to her, something that perhaps had nothing to do with Jack at all. "Have a good night..." Mary says, trailing off as she walks past them and straight to Mark who is waiting for her fully armed.

Sarah turns to Eric, feeling a bit lost without having Jack with her and puts her hand to her chest at the uncomfortable sensation. "Where have you been?"

"Johanna is now aware of Jeanine's role with the factionless. It fairs well after having explained it was also her pushing Abnegation on the movement, and put an understanding to her mysterious lack of cooperation lately."

"Cooperation with Dauntless or Amity?"

"Both." He scoffs. "She's only making it worse for herself." When Sarah frowns, he pulls on her shoulders towards him. "You wouldn't be scared now, would you?"

"I'm unsure of what else she is capable of, how big this whole situation has gotten and I never had a clue... And it frightens me." He brushes the knuckles of his fingers against her cheek while she tries to hide all of her worries that were portrayed so obviously on her face in that moment. "She'll blame me. What she did... almost worked. Because of me. She can erase a person…"

"You're overthinking. Stop." He brushes her hair away from her shoulder and cups her cheek reassuringly. "She'll be dealt with. I just have to do this the right way to not offend the other factions." He smiles, almost brilliantly but it was tainted. "Then I'll blow her fucking head off and any other's who's been under her command that would dare defy me." He seems to drift into thought, then adds, "...Knowingly." Insinuating her.

"I thought you were calling for a legal execution, and only her?"

"In words, yes. In actions, she'll resist and I'll use active force. Then we'll oblige a new leader under thorough observation… I have a heavy persuasive hand when it comes to traitors, Sarah."

Suddenly she felt weighted with his omission. Is that what he thought of her perhaps? A traitor? She can't linger on it because he rubs her shoulder, capturing her attention.

"Come with me. I want to show you something." Eric begins walking ahead, not waiting for her. She frowns at his retreating back, looking over her shoulder at the people enjoying themselves before noticing he'd almost disappeared into the darkness.

Wrapping her cardigan tighter with her arms crossed over her chest, she calls out to him, "Eric! Wait!" She wanders down the path he'd taken, sloping down towards a field and along a fence by high vegetation. She blinks and he's gone, right by an opening to a field.

She doesn't like the feeling of being lost beginning to creep up in her stomach. "Eric?" she whispers, stepping on the dirt track obviously created by the field workers. The brush is almost as tall as her, lightly rustling in the breeze. "Eric, stop messing around." Holding herself tighter, she walks further in and hisses, "I mean it!"

She shakes her head to herself, too scared to go any further and turns back. She almost screams with him standing behind her but can't because he grabs her.

"I kind of liked that game," his face is sneering, arms winding around her waist as she tries to back away from him.

"You are an idiot!" She whacks him pathetically.

"Ah, come on. I was only playing..."

"I thought you wanted to show me something! Not give me a heart attack!"

Keeping her close, he chuckles and uses a hand to push the small hairs away from her face. He tilts her head back to her surprise so he can peer into her eyes. "I wanted to show you how beautiful you would look in just the moonlight," Eric purrs, biting his lip while sizing her up. Sarah notices the glint from his piercings, especially when he raises his eyebrows provocatively.

"What?" she breathes as she glances to her shoulder from where her cardigan had fallen; where his eyes linger as the hint finally makes sense to her. "Do you... want me to take my clothes off?"

"Was I that obvious?"

"Well, you didn't exactly say it... Mr Coulter." She pulls away from him, shrugging off her cardigan as he pockets his hands and watches her every single movement.

"Are we using our surnames now?"

"It seemed appropriate." She shrugs while unfastening the workings of her gray dress. Letting it slide down her body to her feet, she smiles at him.

"Speaking of which," Eric pauses for a few seconds, his eyes appreciatively wandering down her body before meeting hers again. "I want to make sure Jack has got my surname."

She turns as he says it, unfastening her bra and feels warm knowing he is watching. Eric hums in appreciation as she lets it drop to the floor. "I could tell that got to you earlier."

He pulls his phone out of his pocket, just as Sarah peels away her underwear, and snaps a picture. "That woman always gets to me," he mumbles, stashing it before she turns around again. She looks at him expectantly and he motions her forward. "Come here."

Eric doesn't know what turns him on more, the fact that she obeys without questioning, or that she is completely naked in front of him. "What is going through your mind?" he hears her say when she reaches him, but his lust for her has him uncontrollably reach out, pulling her flush against him.

"Are we still being honest?" Sarah bites her lip at his question, nodding wryly. Each hand of hers is placed against his chest, not pushing him, but the fingers gripping the material of his jacket and pulling him down to her. "That you must like me, as you so comfortably took off your clothes without protest."

"My first kiss was still bad."

"If I can't remember, it never happened." He leans closer, ghosting against her lips.

"Jack happened."

"Oh, shut up."

Eric closes the gap, and he is welcomed by Sarah parting her mouth almost instantly. Their kiss is slow as his rough hands run up the delicate skin of her back, massaging into her neck when he moves to kiss down her jaw. Sarah begins to feel herself melting into him, allowing him to reach any skin he wanted. Illicit moans break from her throat, especially when he doesn't travel to the places she ached for him to.

When his mouth reaches her shoulder and hands glide around her hip to her stomach, she can't help herself anymore. "Touch me," she whispers.

Eric peels his head back, his eyes hooded, and she tries a poor attempt at controlling her ragged breathing. "Patience is a virtue," she hears rather then sees the smirk.

"You took both those things." She closes her eyes, mentally begging him not to end what he'd only just started. The whole experience thrilled her. The feeling of being caught or perhaps seen, made her heart race. And the fact that Eric was dressed and she was so vulnerable, knotted the muscles between her thighs pleasantly.

"Please," she begs, uncaring for the desperation in her voice. Gently cupping the side of his neck, she beckons him down with strokes of her fingers till their foreheads touch and she could tell he was holding back by his erratic breath fanning against her face. "Don't stop...please. I need you."

With a groan escaping his throat, Eric's mouth crashes back to hers unexpectedly, his fingers diving between her folds in an instant. She moans against him, unable to hold back as he so expertly lured the coil inside of her that was beginning to slowly unwind with his every movement.

Eric locks his eyes with hers. "Say it again." When she doesn't, he pushes hard against her clit with his thumb. "Say. It. Again, Sarah," he growls, his voice laden with lust.

"Don't stop!"

"No, sweetheart." He chuckles at her desperation and steadies her lolling head in his hand, tilting her chin down so she had to look up and concentrate only on him.

"...I need you."

Eric grins wickedly, and inside she can feel the way his stroke changes, the fingers curling and strumming differently from before. All she could do was support herself on crumbling legs and hold onto his jacket. She gasps, letting herself fall against him, her face pushed into his chest as she hisses out the sudden spasm in her body.

She's still coming down from her high when his arms wrap around her and hold her solidly, letting her take a moment to come round to her senses. Every breath she takes, she feels like she inhales a piece of him, and she didn't let go of his jacket, lingering in this moment.

She liked the notion of feeling small while next to him, his body produced a strange sense of protection and it brought back all the times she had missed him while being under his attention in this exact moment. Sarah wanted to tell him how she felt but didn't allow herself. It was obvious, and she wanted him to be graced with the feelings of love while not forcing it.

It didn't help her when she began to question the past. Would his ideas be the same? Would he tell her he was incapable? She hoped eventually with her subtlety he would be coaxed into it. But Eric was never forced and knew his own mind better than anyone; would he really be here with her if he didn't feel anything at all?

Maybe she couldn't say she loved him just yet. "I've missed you…" Her voice warbles as she mutters the words to him, her head turned to the side while he caresses his fingertips over her back. "...so much."

After their episode outside in the fields, Sarah got roughly dressed and Eric had walked her back to the hut they were staying in. It wasn't long till she withered underneath him again, repeating everything and anything he wanted her to. So what if it was a quick finish for the both of them, he'd had other plans - a curiosity, which was fully fulfilled now.

Eric was pretty happy with himself. Sarah would never leave him or betray him again. She literally couldn't, and he had made her say the words multiple times throughout the night.

"Say you're mine."

"I'm yours."

"Tell me you're sorry."

"I'm sorry."

"Beg...beg me…"

"Eric, please…"

The sun is just rising in the distance as he puffs on a cigarette by the door. The closest hut, a few yards away, he sees Mark putting a hand to his mouth, yawning and hunched over more than being alert in the early hours of the morning.

The air is warm, matching the sweltering temperature inside the room. He hadn't slept at all, and he hadn't wanted to. He wanted to devour the petite woman left sprawled unconscious to the world between the white sheets, a little worse for wear. Eric flicks the cigarette out by the door on the thought.

Rounding the bed to her side, he licks his lips at her pale skin, her back bare as she slept on her front and head tilted to the side, soundly asleep. Her hair was messily fanned around her head, at points still stuck against her skin from her efforts and lips looking red and puffy.

She could fuck, that was for sure. But it was the second time, when he'd wrapped his hand around her throat just enough that it turned her into a whimpering mess, he'd realized Sarah Bennett wasn't as innocent as she portrayed herself to be. No wonder she wouldn't change the way he would grab her hair when he took her, she wanted more than that, though she wouldn't say unless he was buried deep inside her.

"Pull my hair."

"Harder."

And surprisingly when he'd smacked her thigh, "Again."

He drops his boxers, his dick hard with everything presented so marvelously in front of him. He removes the loose sheets, hovering over her and she stirs, groggy and exhausted, but rightfully so.

"Eric, what are you-"

She's already wet when he opens her legs with his knees and bears his weight down on her back, caging her below him. Eric wasn't ready to let this moment go just yet, she needed to be taught a lesson. But she also needed rewarding for her smart mouth and punishment for the urge to be inside her that purged him multiple times throughout the day; to sate that alluring look that bedazzled him; to dull the bright eyes so that all she could remember later from that morning, is him, and nothing else.

Sarah grabs at his hand, nails biting into the soft pieces of flesh between his fingers as he pushes inside her. "I'm not finished with you," he whispers and feels her shudder underneath him. She'll regret everything she ever did to try and forget about him, even if that means fucking her senseless.

"You are mine." He thrusts harder, grabbing the persistently clawing hand and squeezes it for attention. "Say it."

"I'm yours, Eric. I'm yours…" she whimpers obediently.

"Damn right."

#bound by blood #chapter 9 #beautifulramblingbrains #eric and sarah #sequel #jai courtney #divergent #fanfiction #eric coulter #divergent eric fanfiction #insurgent

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zacfaq · 8 years

Text

PLEASE DON’T SEND ME “PASS IT ON” MESSAGES !! as sweet as some of they are they can be really annoying. i don’t check my PMs here! if you need to get ahold of me either send me an ask, or email me.

apparently necessary reminder: google exists! i’m not a know-it-all source, honestly i shouldn’t even be your second plan after google unless it’s a question specifically based on me or something relating to me

i try to avoid fandom drama as much as possible and keep a generally positive space, so please don’t come and ask me about stuff like that. thanks.

if you want to commission me please send an email to [email protected]. do not email me through this address if your intentions are purely social and not work related

-what do you use to record and edit your speedpaints?

i use OBS to record, and edit in sony vegas

-what do you use to draw?

huion gt-191 and clip studio paint

-what are your pen settings?

just the default settings. all my custom stuff/things i’ve downloaded from CSP assets are just things i think look neat but probably never end up using.

-a blog called papersans is claiming to be you! are they a thief?

that’s literally me, i use it to archive my art so i can find stuff easier without having to hunt through my tag. also available for people who just want to see my art n not my other posts

-when is your birthday?

february 6th!

-what is your sexuality?

gay. i like men.

-how long does it take you to draw?

idk like. awhile? sometimes 45 minutes sometimes four hours sometimes a week.

-can i draw you/your ocs?

of course! pls show me after it would make me very happy !!!!!

-favourite band/singer/musician?

i don’t know a damn thing about myself here’s a spotify playlist

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0Zk5o5g7nMnGt0vrJVEcDq?si=7cd248a0b64046ee

-will you do art for cheap/free?

nah. art is currently the only job/income i have, if ur interested in commissioning me you can either find my prices on like, any of my pages, but if not ur more than welcome to email me @ [email protected] and i can give you prices there !! -(venting or something involving abuse, suicidal thoughts, self harm, bullying, eating disorders, or other similar things in real life situations. even in fiction i’m iffy.)

i hate to sound rude or not be of help, but please don’t send these messages to me. they send me into horrible anxiety for several personal reasons. if you’re having such negative thoughts i implore you to speak to someone you trust without an anonymous mask, or do your best to seek help from a professional. i have my own things to worry about and as much as i’d like to help, i simply can’t.

-(asking for advice that isn’t related to art)

i would love to help but i’m not an ~all knowing source~. i can’t give you tips for school. i can’t give you tips for life. not only will i probably not know a solution for you but there’s likely a chance i’m in just as bad a situation as you/going through the same problem, as silent as i am about my personal life. also don’t use ‘asking for advice’ as an excuse to vent about things or to send me a paragraph describing in depth something listed above/that’s potentially triggering. thank you.

even if you’re looking fr art tips i’m not a great source i’m still learning, ur best bet is looking for already existing sources and reading through those bc i don’t preach the word of Art God. i’m also awful at explaining things

-why didn’t you answer my ask?

Main reason is i’m just really really bad at socializing, so it’s not anything on u. i’m almost always low on energy and when i do talk to people it wears me out really quick. i’m also just. not gr8 at talking in general so if i can’t think of a reply i tend to just leave things n then end up forgetting about them

-how do you draw [blank]?

honestly my art style is such a fucked up thing that’s so personalized to my own use i can’t do or make tutorials. the best i can do is direct you to my youtube.

-can we do an art trade?

sorry, i’ll have to say no. i’m not necessarily busy but i get stressed very easily, so i try to keep my art to either personal stuff or work ! if you would like art from me, please considering commissioning me! mutuals and friends may be the exceptions here if they catch me at a good time or we make plans well ahead to do smth when we’re both free to work on stuff

-can we be friends?

please don’t ask this. i’m awful enough at socialization as is and i just don’t fit well with most personality types. not to mention this is just overall a bad question. it backs the person being asked into a corner where they either have to say “yes” and end up in a friendship that actually isn’t working out and is maybe only good for one side bc they’re getting any and all of the benefits, and if they say “no” they look like a total dick bag and come across as an ass. don’t ask this question. it’s not how socializing works. it’s not how friendships work. thanks. -can you tag [blank]? unfortunately i’ve been a real bad place in terms of memory so i can’t tag tons and tons of things. i try and tag more general/basic things but i’m sorry i’ll have to pass on specifics. if i post or reblog things that trigger u or harm you it might be best to unfollow for ur own safety!! very sorry

if it’s specific words you’d like tagged please consider blacklisting the word itself.

-how tall are you?

i’m 5'11".

-can you promo me?

i’d rather not, doesn’t sit well with me. if you have a commission post you want me to reblog i’m happy to! but i won’t just do text based handouts, y’know? not a fan of being used for visibility for no reason, and chances are if i do it for one person it’ll happen with hundreds of others and i don’t want my blog to turn into a free advertisement zone that just floods peoples’ feeds with promotions.

-you reblogged something from someone extremely problematic/unsafe

thank you for letting me know! tell me what it is they did, even better offer proof on it. i’ll likely delete the post and blacklist their url to hopefully prevent their name popping up on my blog in the future. i won’t publish these asks mostly to avoid discourse or in the event false information is provided. sorta just safety precaution i guess

-you’ve done something bad

again, thank you for letting me know! if i post or say something questionable please feel free to message me and i’ll try my best to address the issue and adjust accordingly. i’m aiming to grow as a person so critique is welcome, both on me and my artwork. don’t just come up and call me an asshole or a prick or something, actually point out the errors and explain why they’re wrong so i can better understand and it doesn’t just turn into a defensive round of who’s worse, because i tend to be a very defensive person.

-i think someone is stealing/reposting your art!

thank you very much for telling me! don’t message them right off the bat, come to me first and i will deal with it. i’ve dealt with this shit tons of times and it’s tiring as fuck but i’d rather repeat the same stupid civil message over and over again than start a giant calamity over something and end up with someone getting hurt. if you do get involved please stay polite about it don’t throw insults just a simple “hey this art was done by princeofmints/tv-headache/zachary jack/dirtypip/(etc my other account names) and he doesn’t want his art reposted, please take this down or add proper credit.”

-can i use your art as an icon?

sure man. only on places like instagram, tumblr, or twitter though, and proper credit in an easy to see place must be given. if a piece of art is of my ocs or especially vent art though never use it for icons. thank you.

-can i repost your art?

the answer is “no” but i know you’re going to do it anyways. easy to see credit is mandatory. if you see somebody reposting my art please let me know and i’ll talk to them. if you want to use my art in things like image edits, i don’t allow that. want to use my art in a video? if it’s something like an AMV sure fine just credit me and inform me beforehand, if it’s something like a cringe/comparison video. no. i don’t want any association with work like that whatsoever. you may not use my artwork for fanfic covers.

-can i colour/finish one of your sketches?

no. even if you don’t intend on posting it.

-what is [insert some form of media/fandom]

https://www.google.ca/

-why do you have an entirely separate blog for your FAQ? you know you can make blog pages, right?

i’m well aware of that and originally my faq WAS set up on a blog page, but unfortunately many folks proved to be either lazy or just couldn’t figure out how to get to a blog page on mobile so i had to set it up this way for accessibility purposes.

-tons of your videos are gone, what happened to them? will they come back? can you repost them?

i set old videos on private for my own sake, i don’t like having my old content available bc it just looks old and stale and i don’t like it. there’s nothing deep about it, i just don’t want people interacting with my old stuff. as deep is it gets is i just deleted videos related to fandoms i’m sick of bc the association is fuckin annoying. these videos will not come back into public. i do keep them posted for my own reflection sake, but that’s it. don’t ask me to bring them back. don’t whine about me not putting shit back out just bc ur a little sad n gonna cry. guilting people is gross, reevaluate yourself.

if you want a song from an old video, just ask me! I’ll happily let you know what the music is in case u liked ‘em and can’t remember the titles or artists. i’ve also got a playlist full of the music i listen to so u can comb through there n see if the songs u want are there

#prince peeps

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