#beetober2023

[bloody-bee-tea]

BeeTober 2023 Day 2 - Irreversible

It all happens too fast for Albedo to really understand. One moment he and Kaeya are watching Klee play around on one of the little islands in the lake around Mondstadt—fishblasting, much to Albedo’s chagrin and Kaeya’s apparent delight—and in the next moment the ground underneath them crumbles.

He has just enough presence of mind to throw himself towards Klee, safely caging her in his arms before the drop starts. And then nearly doesn’t stop.

Albedo only notices the ground suddenly rushing up to them because of Kaeya’s startled cry and the strange sickly yellow light that seems to come pouring out from somewhere. He thrusts his hand out, desperately hoping that his vision can somehow help them here and he seems to have done something because when they land it’s almost soft.

Almost.

He still makes a pained sound when Klee’s weight completely drops on him.

“Albedo? Klee?” Kaeya’s panicked voice rings out and Albedo would love to answer him, but he’s still a bit busy catching his breath. Klee has him covered though.

“Big brother Kaeya,” she cries out, clearly completely freaked out, and it doesn’t help when she digs her pointy knees into Albedo’s chest to get to Kaeya faster.

“Klee, are you hurt?” Albedo hears Kaeya’s frantic voice which is answered by a huge, heaving, sobbed “No.”

Albedo relaxes more firmly into the ground at hearing it.

“Albedo? Albedo, what about you?” Kaeya then asks, coming into view, Klee perched on his hips. “Are you hurt?”

“Why don’t you ever care for yourself first,” Albedo is the first thing out of Albedo’s mouth when he finds his voice again, because there’s blood streaming down Kaeya’s face and his stomach lurches unpleasantly at seeing it. “Let me see that.”

He sits up—not without some pain—and motions for Kaeya to sit down, so he can check the headwound more easily.

“It’s not too bad,” Kaeya says with a reassuring smile, but he subjects himself to Albedo’s fussing. “Just that cut and some aggravated ribs. Same as you, I’d guess,” he then says and reaches out to smooth his thumb over Albedo’s forehead.

Albedo should not be surprised to see it come away red, but he still is, anyhow.

“I didn’t even notice,” he admits and Kaeya gives him a lopsided smile.

“Thought so.” He then takes a moment to look up—and up and up and up—before he heaves out a sigh. “You really did save our lives there,” he then says to Albedo. “We would have died without you.”

“You would have come up with something,” Albedo immediately gives back, uncomfortable with the praise and knowing that nothing is too much for Kaeya.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Kaeya says with a surprised blink, “but my powers are not nearly as useful here. Anyway. Do you know where we are?”

“Underneath Mondstadt?” Albedo tries and is prepared for the ‘No, duh’-kind of look Kaeya sends him.

“Where did the light go?” Klee speaks up for the first time, her face still mostly pressed into Kaeya’s shoulder.

“The light?”

“There was yellow light,” Albedo now remembers too. “It looked as if we were falling right into it, too.”

“Uhm,” Kaeya says as he looks around and Albedo notices with worry the way his face drains of colour.

“What?”

“See this?” Kaeya asks and points to their right. “That doesn’t look promising.”

What he’s pointing at looks like ancient script, still faintly glowing yellow, but growing dimmer by the second.

Albedo has seen a few things like this in his time with Gold and Kaeya is indeed right. It’s not promising.

“It’s a spell that’s been used up,” he says, pushing himself up to get closer. “We must have triggered it somehow.”

“Ooookay,” Kaeya breathes out. “Do you feel any different? Anything’s changed?”

“No. I feel the same as always. Klee?” Albedo asks next and is met with a tearful gaze. “Do you feel different? Anything strange? Does something hurt?”

“No,” she sniffles out. “Klee feels the same as always.”

“Okay, that’s good, that’s good,” Kaeya sighs out, clearly relieved to hear Klee say that.

“You think someone is looking for us?” Albedo asks, craning his head to find the hole they must have dropped down from.

“They should be. That must have been a pretty big explosion.”

“Klee made that explosion,” Klee proudly says and immediately shrinks when Albedo gives her a disappointed stare.

“You did,” Kaeya patiently tells her. “And it wasn’t a very good idea. We could have seriously gotten hurt. Maybe Jean is on to something when she says no fishblasting in the lake, mh?”

“Maybe,” Klee allows and then snuggles more firmly into Kaeya’s embrace, as if being cute is going to help.

It probably is, if Albedo is being honest.

“We should just wait here until they come get us,” Albedo decides. “My construct is not stable enough to lift us all the way up, anyway.”

“Fine by me, petal,” Kaeya says with a small smile and then sighs out. “Honestly, I didn’t think you could get any hotter, but that blood is somehow doing it for you.”

“Kaeya,” Albedo hisses out because this is more than inappropriate but Kaeya only laughs at him.

It’s clear he only said it to lighten the mood a bit too and while Albedo still can’t say he likes it, it was kind of a good plan because even Klee is chuckling by now.

“You’re an idiot,” Albedo says, aware of how unbearably fond his voice must sound and then—because he can and because maybe Kaeya needs to taste his own medicine once in a while—he says “But the same goes for you.”

It has the desired effect because Kaeya blinks at him for several long moments and by the time he gets himself back under control Albedo is already in the process of exploring the room. The spell seems to have run out completely now and Albedo crouches down in front of it, though he’s not quite able to make out what it says.

“Any clues?” Kaeya asks, having followed him over, Klee still on his hip.

“No. Do you want me to take her for a moment?”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Kaeya waves him off. “I got her. You’re more useful here anyway, I don’t understand a thing I see.”

“Me neither, to be honest,” he easily admits and then gets distracted when someone shouts down from above them.

It seems their rescue has arrived.

~*~*~

It takes a while for them to be brought up, for everything to be sorted out but eventually Albedo and Kaeya find themselves patched up in Jean’s office, Klee peacefully sleeping in her own bed for now.

“So. Any new and exciting developments?” Kaeya asks and Albedo wishes he hadn’t when Jean and Lisa share a look.

“Oh. That’s a yes then,” Kaeya mutters. “Wasn’t expecting that.”

“We figured out the spell that hit you,” Lisa says and Albedo frowns at her.

“How? The script was ancient.”

“I do happen to be an Akademiya graduate, I’ll gladly remind you,” she sniffs out. “And while I’m not from Haravatat, we had to take electives. It’s just coincident that I know exactly that script.”

“I hate coincidences,” Kaeya mutters under his breath and Albedo finds that he’ll have to agree on that one.

“Hit us, then,” Kaeya says with a sigh, clearly already expecting the worst.

“This spell prevents those it is used on from lying to each other. And it’s irreversible, as far as I understood it. I’ll of course consult the Akademiya but until then—” Lisa trails off with a shrug. “You won’t be able to lie to each other.”

“Oh,” Albedo gets out and eyes Kaeya. Kaeya, who has gone completely still at this side.

“Maybe you should take some time to let that sink in,” Jean awkwardly says, clearly having noticed Kaeya’s reaction as well. “You have a clean bill of health otherwise, so why don’t you go rest up for now?”

“Sure,” Albedo agrees and then has to nudge Kaeya to follow him out of the office.

“Come back with me. Klee is going to worry if you’re not there tomorrow,” Albedo says, not quite meeting Kaeya’s eyes, but he can tell that he’s still processing.

And Albedo can guess that it’s not anything good.

He knows how important lies are to Kaeya, knows that most of his work consists of that and Albedo isn’t sure how this is going to impact their relationship.

The track back to Albedo’s house is quiet, and even though Albedo is not the most adept at figuring out emotions, even he can tell that something is brewing. And it’s clearly not good.

Albedo endures the silence until they are safely inside the house, and then he decides that it’s enough.

“I’m sorry,” he starts with and almost flinches when Kaeya whirls around to him.

“What for?” he wants to know, but there’s a nervous energy to him that Albedo isn’t used to from him.

“I know that lying is an important part of—well, who you are,” Albedo says and hopes it’s not offending for Kaeya to hear. “I’m sorry that that is now no longer possible.”

His words seem to freeze Kaeya.

“You think I lie to you,” he finally gets out, which only makes Albedo frown.

“I mean—yes? Not that I—it’s not an accusation but I’ve come to the understanding that it’s just something you do. I see you lie to Jean every time you say you’re okay after all.”

“And have I ever said that to you?” Kaeya asks and there’s hurt in his voice.

Albedo instinctively wants to answer with an affirmative but the pain in Kaeya’s voice gives him pause. He mentally goes through his last interactions with Kaeya and realises that Kaeya never said that to him. Sometimes he avoids the question, yes, but usually Kaeya answers in a manner that makes Albedo believe that maybe he was telling the truth all along.

“But what about—the flirting? I mean, you don’t mean any of that, right?” Albedo tries next but then he sees how Kaeya’s expression shutters and he knows he fucked up again.

Kaeya opens his mouth as if he wants to say something, but nothing comes out.

“Fuck,” he eventually hisses. “It really doesn’t work.”

“You were about to lie to me,” Albedo accuses him, and now he is hurt that Kaeya even wanted to lie to him in the first place.

“And what’s it to you?” he bites out, though immediately clamps his mouth shut afterwards. “It’s not as if you mean any of it.”

It’s barely audible but Albedo picks up on it anyway.

“When I returned that compliment in the cave we were already under the affects of the spell. Is that what had you freeze up in Jean’s office? Knowing that I meant it?” he asks, and sometimes he thoroughly enjoys how his analytical mind can help him even in emotionally charged situations like this.

Kaeya had frozen right up when Lisa told them and Albedo had suspected it was a bad reaction. Maybe it hadn’t been after all.

Maybe all there is to it is hope.

“You can’t mean it,” Kaeya whispers. “You don’t. You said it yourself, you don’t get human relationships and least of all romantic ones.”

Albedo’s mouth drops open at that.

“That was during the first month I came here! I barely knew how to pretend to be human then!”

“So? It’s not as if anything has changed, right? You’re still not human.”

“I’m human enough to learn,” Albedo gives back. “And I’m definitely human enough to develop feelings for a fellow Captain.”

“Don’t hit on Eula, Amber is going to cry,” Kaeya immediately says, but there is a smile around his lips and a faint blush on his cheeks.

“Good thing I didn’t mean her, then,” Albedo says with an eyeroll and motions for Kaeya to come closer.

It’s almost dizzying how easily Kaeya follows his command.

“I meant you.” Albedo states it clearly, so that there can be no more misunderstandings between them and it’s a joy to see the briefly startled look on Kaeya’s face melt into something softer.

“Good,” he says, before he leans down and presses a soft kiss to Albedo’s lips.

“Are you not going to say it back?” Albedo asks when they part and is met with one of Kaeya’s mischievous smiles.

Albedo is never going to admit that he loves that smile best.

“Now where would be the fun in that?” Kaeya teasingly asks and presses another kiss to Albedo’s brow.

Albedo is pretty sure he has his answer right there, but still. Hearing it would be nice too.

“Evasion? A cheap tactic, Captain,” he scolds him and doesn’t melt right into the couch when Kaeya chuckles into his ear.

“Of course I feel the same about you Albedo,” he then whispers, sending a shiver down Albedo’s back. “I’m surprised you could ever doubt that.”

“You’ve been flirting an awful lot with everyone,” Albedo reminds him and now he expects the kiss that’s dropped to his cheek.

“But I only mean it with you,” Kaeya admits and the knowledge that it’s the truth settles warm and comforting in Albedo’s chest.

Exactly like it should be.

[bloody-bee-tea]

BeeTober 2023 Day 1 - Electric Shock

The start of Beetober 2023!!! Like always, all the thanks goes to my friend @chilassa who made the prompt list for me and this is yet again another year where I'm too tired to come up with fic titles myself so the title is the prompt! I am aiming for all days again, so let's see how far we come <3

Albedo isn’t quite used to human touch. People tend to steer clear of him usually, finding him too uncanny to come closer and less alone wanting to touch. Klee, of course, with her childish excitement, is a very notable exception.

She doesn’t hesitate to run to him, to hug him, to throw herself into his arms and she’s never shy to do so, either.

For a while, Klee was the sole source of human touch for Albedo.

Until Kaeya stepped into his life more firmly.

Unlike the other residents of Mondstadt, Kaeya isn’t shy with his touch. He doesn’t hesitate to brush his fingers over Albedo’s back, nudge him into the right direction with a firm tap to his hip or let their fingers brush whenever he hands Albedo something.

Albedo should have long gotten used to his touch and yet—every time it happens it feels as if an electric shock runs down his spine and settles under his skin.

It’s not—unpleasant, Albedo has to admit that much, but it’s unsettling because he doesn’t understand why it happens. Kaeya is a cryo user; it can’t even be his vision acting up. And the few times Albedo did ask someone else about this, he only got knowing smiles and meaningless ‘you’ll figure it out in no time’s thrown his way.

All in all, incredibly unhelpful.

“Albedo, my favourite Chief Alchemist,” Kaeya announces when he steps into Albedo’s lab and Albedo only barely suppresses the urge to roll his eyes.

“I’m the only Chief Alchemist,” he counters and watches from the corner of his eyes how Kaeya makes his way over to him.

“You’d still be my favourite, even if there were ten,” Kaeya gives back and this—this is new. Now even his voice manages to make a shudder run down Albedo’s back and he can’t say he’s too pleased by that.

Not as long as he doesn’t understand what’s going on.

“What do you want today?” Albedo asks, keeping most of his attention on the experiment currently in his hands but a part of his brain can’t help but to puzzle over this.

“Always so rude to me,” Kaeya drawls out and then slumps over the table in a way that makes Albedo want to scold him, if he wasn’t so very clearly deliberately making sure not to actually touch anything.

Kaeya is strangely considerate like that and Albedo frowns at the warmth pooling in his gut when he notices it.

“I’m busy,” Albedo gives back, pouring the almost glowing liquid into another bottle.

“I can see that,” Kaeya says and lightly taps his finger against Albedo’s forehead. “Though it’s not this experiment that’s keeping you occupied. What’s going on?”

There it is again, that by now almost familiar electric shock, running down Albedo’s back and almost making him spill the liquid.

He gives Kaeya a glare for his troubles.

“Sorry?” Kaeya says, clearly unsure of what just happened but he keeps his hands to himself until Albedo is done with the transfer and that’s really all Albedo can ask for. “You okay?” he then asks and Albedo sighs.

He’s not going to find an answer to this puzzling question himself and asking other people has yielded no insight, either—maybe it is time for Albedo to bring this up with Kaeya directly.

“Not many people touch me,” he starts with, much to Kaeya’s apparent confusion.

“Klee does,” he immediately gives back and Albedo nods.

“And you.”

Kaeya opens his mouth as if he wants to say something—apologize, maybe?—before he closes it again without actually saying anything at first.

“Is that a problem?” Kaeya finally gets out and Albedo shrugs.

“I’m not sure. Your touch is strange.”

“Strange,” Kaeya repeats, clearly lost and Albedo sighs.

“There’s this—it’s tingling. In a pleasant way, I think.”

“You think,” Kaeya whispers and Albedo can see the gears turning in his head. “So, if I do this—” he doesn’t finish his sentence but instead reaches out and puts his fingertips to Albedo’s forearm.

“It tingles,” Albedo confirms. “All the way down my back.”

He sees it, the exact moment Kaeya comes to a realisation because there’s this shift in his whole demeanour and so Albedo isn’t quite surprised when Kaeya leans forward, his intention clear.

Kissing him would probably clear some things up, Albedo understands with a sudden start, but he can’t allow this.

“No,” he says and puts his hand to Kaeya’s shoulder, stopping him in his movement.

The shift in his expression was subtle, but Albedo has seen that look before. It’s the one Kaeya gets when he figures out what someone wants, what he has to give to make someone happy—oftentimes regardless of his own feelings—and Albedo is not going to allow this.

He is not going to let Kaeya kiss him just because Kaeya thinks it will make him happy, not when he doesn’t know if it’s something that would make Kaeya happy as well.

“No?” Kaeya repeats and a frown settles on his face when Albedo takes a step away from him. “This is what you want, isn’t it?” he then asks, and Albedo can tell that he’s getting worked up.

“And what do you want?” Albedo asks in return and sees how Kaeya flinches away from him.

His eyes are wide and panicked and Albedo doesn’t quite understand what’s going on anymore.

It only takes Kaeya a second to compose himself again and Albedo is also familiar with the sneer on his face.

Though it’s usually not directed at him.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Kaeya almost spits out. “Don’t think you’re anything special. It’s actually kind of pathetic to fall for the first guy who shows you some decency, don’t you think? Makes you an easy target for everyone, just so you know. Now, if you’d excuse me, I have better places to be.”

Before Albedo can find his words Kaeya has already turned around on his heels and stormed off, leaving a bewildered Albedo behind.

He understands that he somehow hurt Kaeya, enough for him to lash out like that, but Albedo can’t quite understand just what he did wrong.

And it doesn’t change the fact that Kaeya’s words leave a nagging feeling behind in his head.

It was said in an attempt to hurt Albedo and to hide Kaeya’s own hurt but Albedo can’t deny that maybe Kaeya might be right. Maybe he does only have feelings for him because Kaeya was nice to him.

That Albedo does have feelings for Kaeya can be affirmed without a doubt now—that split second where he thought, hoped really, that Kaeya would kiss him enough to confirm it—but maybe it’s for shallow reasons.

Maybe Kaeya’s touch isn’t all that special after all; how would Albedo know without knowing any other touch?

It’s enough to get him thinking for the rest of the day, and by the time the sun rises next, Albedo is gone from Mondstadt.

It’s time he does some experimenting.

~*~*~

His plan is to travel to Liyue first, maybe head to Sumeru next depending on how long it takes him, and his first stop is Wangshu Inn. He has a very interesting run-in with the local Yaksha there, and that night he takes the time to get thoroughly acquainted with his own touch.

It doesn’t do much for him, beyond the physical pleasure one would expect and Albedo thinks that maybe a second person might be required after all.

He makes it to Liyue Harbor a day later and spends some very enjoyable days there. He meets Zhongli and knows him for who he really is though he tries to stick to cryo and electro wielders (he did not expect Lady Ninguang and Beidou to be so welcoming), that shudder down his back still so very prevalent in his mind but then he remembers the warmth that usually also curls in his gut when Kaeya is there, when Kaeya touches him, and he resolves to find at least one pyro user willing to tumble with him for a night.

That doesn’t happen until he makes his way to Sumeru though—and only then because Thoma is there with Ayato on official business—and there he also meets his most promising bed partner yet. Albedo sees the way Hermanubis curls around Cyno like a second skin and thinks that if anyone can make him shudder from pure touch alone it might be him.

He backtracks when he notices how the Acting Grand Sage looks at Cyno and he can’t quite hide his surprise when they come to find him that evening.

“He likes to fuck,” Alhaitham tells him in that horribly blunt way he has. “And I don’t, much.”

“We came to the agreement that I am allowed to indulge, sometimes,” Cyno adds with a sharp smile.

“As long as it is understood that it’s a one time thing,” Alhaitham almost boredly tells him but Albedo hears it for the threat it is.

Since that is not a problem for him he finds himself pinned under Cyno that night and while Hermanubis makes his nerves light up like nothing before, it’s still not the same as when Kaeya touches him.

Albedo makes his way back home a day later.

~*~*~

He doesn’t waste time to announce his return and instead makes his way straight to Kaeya’s apartment.

Kaeya doesn’t seem too pleased to see him when he opens the door.

“Can we talk?” Albedo still asks and he missed this, the comfortable warmth that curls in his gut just from being around Kaeya.

“I’m not the one who ran,” Kaeya derisively says but when he retreats into his apartment, he leaves the door open and Albedo takes it for the invitation it is.

“What do you want?” Kaeya asks once the door is closed behind Albedo and his entire posture screams at Albedo to get out.

He must really have struck a nerve back then.

“Kaeya, what is it that you want?” Albedo asks in return, and there it is again, that painfully surprised and confused look on Kaeya’s face as if he has never before been asked that.

“What does it matter?” Kaeya gives back. “Did you have a few good days?”

The way he asks it makes Albedo frown.

“What do you mean?”

“Thoma and I keep in touch,” is all Kaeya says to that and of course. Albedo should have known.

“I see.”

“I’m really that undesirable, huh? You’d rather make your way to Sumeru of all places than to look here.”

“That’s not what that was about,” Albedo immediately says. “I thought maybe you were right. Maybe it was just because yours was the only touch I’ve really known. I needed to verify.”

“Verify. As if all of that was nothing more than an experiment.”

“It wasn’t. Kaeya, I’m asking again: what is it that you want?”

Albedo knows what he wants; knows that it’s only Kaeya who makes him feel like that, who manages to light his nerves up like no one else can but he still remembers that look on Kaeya’s face.

He’s not going to take what he wants if Kaeya is only doing it because it would please Albedo.

“It clearly doesn’t matter,” Kaeya says, and he sounds resigned to it in a way that squeezes Albedo’s chest almost painfully.

“Tell me anyway,” Albedo says and then simply holds Kaeya’s gaze until he crumbles right in front of him.

“I want you to want me,” Kaeya almost yells out before he completely deflates. “I want you,” he adds, much more silent this time and Albedo doesn’t waste any more time. He steps forward and pulls Kaeya into a kiss, marvelling at the way even that contact makes him burn up like nothing else had.

“You have me,” Albedo says when they part and he was not quite prepared for the sad, almost resigned smile Kaeya gives him.

“Your exploits say otherwise.”

“I was trying to figure out what makes you so special,” Albedo explains and he isn’t quite sure how to make Kaeya understand.

“And?”

“And what makes you special is the fact that I love you,” Albedo easily gives back, not quite rising to the challenge in Kaeya’s voice.

“Come on, Albedo,” Kaeya says, clearly not satisfied with that answer. “You only feel that way because I’ve been nice to you. Because I touched you when no one else would.”

“I thought about that, too, when you said it the first time,” Albedo admits and only notices Kaeya flinch because he’s so close. “But I’ve had people touch me now; I’ve had people be nice to me. One even offered to court me properly.”

He still remembered his surprise when Kaveh had offered it in the morning. It didn’t even bear consideration, but it had been nice nonetheless.

“Good for you,” Kaeya mutters but Albedo shakes his head.

“It’s neither of those things that made me fall in love with you, though.” That too, is something Albedo has given quite some thought to during his travels. And he thinks that there are too many reasons for him to name them all speaks for itself. Still, he tries. For Kaeya. “I fell in love with you because you’re kind to Klee no matter what, patient in a way not many are. Because you were the same with me, without making it feel as if you’re looking down on me, like many others did. Because you’re considerate and respect my work place. Because you treated me like a human even though it was so painfully obvious I wasn’t one. Because you expected me to learn and adapt and didn’t coddle me.”

“And because I’m hot,” Kaeya quips and Albedo loves that he knows Kaeya well enough to know that he’s uncomfortable with Albedo’s praise and needs to derail him for a moment. Not that Albedo is going to let him.

“That, too,” he still easily admits. “Though I would still rank the smile you give Klee higher. That one is only rivalled by the one you give me, sometimes. You know, the one that makes your face go all soft.”

 “I don’t have a smile like that,” Kaeya says, almost on reflex Albedo suspects but Albedo doesn’t bother to argue because the smile is right there, on Kaeya’s face.

“Sure,” Albedo agrees anyway. “So, if you truly want me, then you have me.”

“It didn’t seem like that when you pushed me away,” Kaeya says and it’s clear that it’s still eating away at him.

“Because I didn’t know it then,” Albedo explains. “Because you have a habit of doing things for the people you like to keep them happy, no matter what. And I couldn’t—I didn’t want you to do this only for me.”

“This would be something very selfish as well,” Kaeya admits and reaches out for Albedo’s hand.

Albedo doesn’t hesitate to thread their fingers together.

“Then you shall have it,” Albedo whispers as he leans back in.

And this time when they part, Albedo is met with the smile he loves so much.

[bloody-bee-tea]

BeeTober 2023 Day 3 - Unterrated

Albedo is working on a more sensitive experiment, his mind completely focused, when he suddenly senses a shift in atmosphere.

It takes him a moment to come out of his working headspace, and he manages it just in time to hear Kaeya say “Oh, Klee, I always wanted to be a knight. A pirate was the other option, though, don’t you think I would have looked dashing? I already have the eyepatch to go with that, anyway.”

Klee giggles at that, exactly like Kaeya most likely wanted but Albedo still frowns. He has learned quite a few things during his time in Mondstadt and it turned out that while he lacked references for most human interaction before he came here he is actually quite sensitive to moods and the swings of those.

And Kaeya’s mood definitely took a turn for the worse there.

“What was the question?” Albedo asks, carefully packing his experiment away. He knows himself better than to think he’ll be able to get back to it today.

Not if something bothers Kaeya like that.

“Nothing important,” Kaeya immediately tries, but there’s no use in that with an excited and still giggling Klee.

“I wanted to know what big brother Kaeya dreamed of being when he was Klee’s age,” she eagerly says and Albedo only notices the bitter twist of Kaeya’s mouth because he’s watching for it.

“And I told her,” Kaeya still says, forced cheerfulness in his voice. “Maybe I would be running a crew together with Beidou now. I heard she’s a formidable pirate.”

It’s of course enough to snatch Klee’s attention away again and she bombards him with questions in a way that ensures Albedo doesn’t get another word in. Just as well, he thinks as he puts his head into his hand and simply watches them. He’ll just corner Kaeya about this later.

It’s not as if he doesn’t know where the other Captain lives after all, and Albedo is not above cornering him there to get the answers he wants.

Kaeya tries his best to act as normally as he can, but Albedo knows him well enough by now to see the lingering melancholy Klee’s question left behind and Albedo wonders.

He can guess at a few things, of course, being privy to Kaeya’s biggest secret, but he’d like to get confirmation from Kaeya himself. And maybe—finally—clear this thing up between them.

Albedo still dreams of it sometimes; the soft way Kaeya’s lips had brushed against his cheek before he gasped in a breath and fled in a panic. Albedo hadn’t seen him for almost a week after, and when Kaeya finally did show up again he made no secret out of the fact that it was for Klee and Klee alone.

Albedo had taken the hint and Kaeya’s unwillingness to discuss it and kept silent himself but a nagging voice in the back of his head tells him that maybe that had been the wrong move.

Things are starting to slot into place, all because of Kaeya’s strange reaction to Klee’s more than innocent question, and Albedo doesn’t like the picture they are painting.

He watches how Kaeya indulges Klee with answers and great stories until her eyes start to droop and he moves to get her to bed. Albedo trusts him—with Klee and in his own home—so he doesn’t follow and instead gives Kaeya half an hour to return back home before he leaves the workshop himself.

For all that Kaeya wants to remain mysterious and elusive, he’s terribly predictable for those who care to notice and so Albedo finds the windows to Kaeya’s apartment lit up.

He allows himself a small smile before he makes his way to Kaeya’s door and because he figures it’s only fair when Kaeya can come and go into Albedo’s home as he pleases he simply opens the door and marches right in.

Less danger of Kaeya turning him away like that.

“What the—” Kaeya grumbles as he comes out of the kitchen only to freeze when he sees Albedo. “Albedo?”

“I want to talk,” Albedo says and watches how the soft slope of Kaeya’s shoulders turns to ice.

“Good for you,” he stoically gives back and then points at the door. “I don’t. So if you would?”

“I wouldn’t,” Albedo easily says and marches right past Kaeya to sit down at the kitchen table, expectantly looking at him.

Kaeya stares at him for a good minute before he deflates.

“Sometimes you’re just as unmovable as your element, I swear to the Seven, Albedo,” he mutters and then finally sits down at the table as well.

“As long as you know it,” Albedo shrugs and gives Kaeya a brief smile.

“What do you want, then? Make it quick, I’m tired,” Kaeya grumbles out, clearly eager to get Albedo out of his apartment, but Albedo is going to stay exactly where he is until he gets a satisfactory answer from Kaeya.

He doesn’t expect to make it back home tonight.

“Today in the lab, Klee’s question threw you off. Why?”

“What?” Kaeya pretends as if he doesn’t know what Albedo is talking about, but he notices the tapping of Kaeya’s finger on the table, sees the way he avoids his gaze and Albedo just knows that it’s something serious.

“When Klee asked you what you dreamed of being when you were her age. What’s wrong with that question?”

“Nothing is wrong with that question,” Kaeya tries but Albedo gives him a look.

“You lied, Kaeya. You never lie.”

“Oh, I bet you’re the only person in Mondstadt who would say that. Maybe talk to Jean once in a while. She’d tell you I do nothing but.”

“But not to me, and most definitely not to Klee. You’ve never lied to Klee, even if it was about something scary. And that was just an innocent question. Why did you feel the need to lie?”

Kaeya is staring at Albedo as if he had just announced that he was going to level Mondstadt tomorrow and expected Kaeya to help him do it. It’s certainly not a normal reaction.

“How would you know if I ever lied to you,” Kaeya asks, crossing his arms in front of his chest in a gesture so defensive that Albedo frowns.

Kaeya never closes himself off like that, especially not when he talks to Albedo.

This must really have hit a nerve.

“Kaeya,” Albedo says and he’s careful to make his voice softer. “We know each other better than that. Just tell me; what’s going on?”

Kaeya holds out for a moment longer before he lets out a harsh breath.

“Dreams and wishes and hopes are overrated, Albedo. You and I know better than that.”

Albedo tilts his head at that, considering the statement. With what he knows of Kaeya it would make a lot of sense to think like that, but—Albedo doesn’t like it.

“I actually think they are underrated. Especially in your case. It wouldn’t hurt to do more of that.”

Albedo knows it’s the wrong thing to say when rage flashes over Kaeya’s face, followed by a hopelessness that’s hard to stomach.

“It actually does hurt, Albedo,” he sneers out and Albedo is not at all surprised when the temperature in the room drops a few degrees. “It does hurt to have your hopes and dreams crushed and thrown back into your face.”

“Kaeya—”

“I dreamed of staying with my family, in my homeland. I dreamed of staying with my father, and then the family that took me in. I dreamed of having a brother I can always rely on. I dreamed of being more than a threat to Mondstadt. I hoped to find a home, people who—”

Kaeya cuts himself off there but Albedo doesn’t have any trouble finishing the sentence for him. People who love me.

“Hopes and dreams and wishes do jack shit, Albedo.”

“You have a home,” Albedo corrects him because the thought that Kaeya doesn’t even think of them like that hurts more than he expected.

“Right,” Kaeya scoffs. “Diluc still glowers at me every time I go to Dawn Winery.”

“No, not—” Albedo takes a deep breath. “We are your home, Klee and I. You put her to bed without me today, like you regularly do, because I trust you and she does, too. Because we are family, and you have a key to my house. You come and go as you please. Kaeya, you go there when you’re hurt or injured and you go there when you’re bored. You keep things at my place. You might not have been looking for a home, and you might not have hoped to find one again, but do not say that you didn’t anyway.”

Kaeya’s visible eye goes big as Albedo talks and it’s almost painful to see the surprise on his face. He really hadn’t considered it like that it seems.

“And we love you, too. Klee adores you in a way I haven’t seen before and I—I love you.”

“Right,” Kaeya bitterly says as if Albedo has ever said or done anything to indicate the opposite.

“You ran, back then,” Albedo reminds Kaeya and it still hurts, that memory.

He understands now, he thinks, but it still hurts.

“I get why you did it, that you were scared but—you ran. You crushed that hope before it could crush you and I understand that but you didn’t give us a chance.”

Kaeya gave his father a chance, Crepus, Diluc—and it all ended badly, Albedo understands that. He understands how that would make anyone flinch away from something similar in the future but he doesn’t like it.

“It ends badly for me, always,” Kaeya mutters, more to the table than Albedo. “I’m tired, Bedo. I can’t do it again.”

“So you don’t trust me.” He sees how Kaeya flinches, and he knows that it’s mean, to go about it like this, but he doesn’t know what else he’s supposed to do, not in the face of this.

“That’s unfair.”

“Maybe,” Albedo agrees. “But to me it looks like that. I know you, I know who you are, what you are to your nation, I’ve seen you. And I feel in love with you. And still you don’t trust me enough to trust that I would stay with you.”

“No one stays,” Kaeya mumbles.

“Not always by choice,” Albedo gives back, a reminder that Crepus hadn’t left but died instead. “And might I remind you, that between you, me and Klee, you’re actually the one bound to die first? Klee’s is blessed with longevity and I’m not even human. Between the three of us, it’s you who’s going to get hurt in a way you can’t walk off, and then what? You will have left us. And I’m still willing to take that risk.”

“Maybe you’re just stupid then,” Kaeya says, but there’s no heat behind his words.

“Maybe I just trust you enough to not leave us earlier than you really have to,” Albedo shoots back. “Maybe I just trust you.”

“You shouldn’t. My nation—they are going to call on me one day.”

“And you’re just blindly going to do what they say?” Albedo asks, absolutely incredulous because he knows there’s no way Kaeya would hurt them.

“Could you refuse? If it was Gold who came back for you and ordered you to destroy everything?”

“I would fight her until my death. I might have ended up here randomly, but I choose to stay every day. I’m not going to destroy the home I’ve carved out for myself and I’m not going to hurt my family,” Albedo gives back with conviction.

A tear slips down Kaeya’s cheek and Albedo is sick of the distance between them, so he gets up to round the table and pull Kaeya into a hug.

“I’m not going to hurt you, either,” he shakily breathes out and Albedo presses a kiss to the top of his head where it’s pressed against his chest.

Albedo doesn’t mention the way Kaeya’s frame shakes in his arms and he doesn’t comment on the wet spot he can feel growing on his shirt and instead continues to hold Kaeya. He has forced enough admissions out of Kaeya for one evening and they can talk about everything else later.

As long as Albedo knows that Kaeya wants to try and as long as Kaeya dares to hope and dream they are going to figure things out. Tomorrow and every day after that.

[bloody-bee-tea]

BeeTober 2023 Day 4 - Hive Mind

Kaeya doesn’t think anything of it at first but when he hasn’t caught a single hair of Albedo all day, he knows that something is up. And he’s proven right when he goes to Jean to ask after him.

“I haven’t seen him,” she admits with a shrug of her shoulders. “He hasn’t been in at all Sucrose says.”

“And that is not cause to worry for you?” Kaeya asks because Albedo likes to keep to his schedules more than anything.

If he skipped work without telling anyone then it’s either because he’s dead or something completely unforeseeable has happened and Kaeya is not a fan of either of those options.

“I talked to Klee,” Jean says and she seems affronted that Kaeya would imply she doesn’t care about her people. “She says it happens sometimes. That Albedo is going somewhere some days and he’ll be back a day later.”

“And you believe a toddler instead of checking for yourself?” Kaeya can’t help but to ask, even knowing that it’s mean to Klee but he can’t help the ball of worry in his gut.

“Kaeya,” Jean mildly says and he flinches at her tone. She never snaps, not really, not when she’s not out of her head with worry but her voice still carries the sentiment anyway.

“Sorry,” he mutters, scratching the back of his head.

“If you worry about him so much, you have the rest of the day off. Go look for him. I doubt he’s gone far with Klee still in the city and not informing you.”

It’s—kinda nice actually, knowing that people know they are close, but it also makes Kaeya flush slightly for reasons he’s not ready to examine too closely, especially not with Jean staring knowingly at him.

“Thank you, I will,” he sniffs out and turns around on his heel, storming out without waiting for her to say anything else.

Once Kaeya is outside the headquarter he comes to a stop. He doesn’t actually know where to start looking for Albedo and it’s not as if his pride allows him to go back and ask Jean. Klee is in solitary at the moment as well, so she can’t help him either.

If Albedo didn’t show up for work today then Sucrose is unlikely to know where he went either and that leaves Kaeya with precious few options. He hesitates with uncertainty for a moment longer before he decides to start at Albedo’s home.

He might not be there but maybe Kaeya can get a clue as to where he might have gone.

Mind made up like that Kaeya doesn’t waste any more time and marches straight on, arriving at Albedo’s home in record time. Kaeya takes out the key Albedo gave him a while back—for keeping an eye on Klee purposes, as he so helpfully stated—and lets himself in.

The house is quiet, just like Kaeya expected and so he nearly gets a heart attack when he enters the living room and finds Albedo on the couch.

“What the fuck,” Kaeya mutters under his still rapid breath but he frowns when he takes a closer look at Albedo.

Usually, he’s always thinking—and one can always tell that he’s always thinking, his face gives it all away. But right now, there’s this vacant look on his face, one that tells Kaeya that he’s not puzzling over some work experiment or trying to figure out how something works; he isn’t pondering or musing about anything right now and suddenly Klee’s words make a whole lot more sense.

Albedo has gone somewhere—not physically, but in his mind and Kaeya doesn’t like it one bit.

The empty look seems wrong on his face.

“Albedo?” Kaeya carefully asks and slowly makes his way over to the couch. He sees the faint flutter of Albedo’s eyes, knows that he noticed him even when he doesn’t react otherwise and Kaeya takes the liberty to sit down next to him.

“You okay?” Kaeya asks, even though he knows it’s a stupid question.

He can tell by the vacant look that the answer is a very resounding no.

Albedo doesn’t grace him with an obvious answer either and even though Kaeya’s fingers itch with the need to fix this, to fix Albedo somehow, he stays quiet right where he is. Albedo hasn’t told him to get the fuck out and Kaeya will keep him company for as long as he’s allowed to.

“I envy bees,” Albedo says after almost ten minutes of silence and it’s so out of left field that Kaeya doesn’t even know what to say to that. “And ants,” Albedo adds after a moment.

“Why?” Kaeya finally asks after having found his voice. He doesn’t want to assume what this is about—doesn’t think he ever really could—so he has to rely on Albedo to explain this.

“The hive mind,” he answers as if that is enough to explain anything and Kaeya slightly presses their shoulders together.

“You’ll have to give me a bit more than that.”

Albedo lets out a sigh that sounds so weary it makes Kaeya’s bones ache.

“It’s just—so hard,” Albedo spits out and Kaeya is not going to mention it but he is relieved to see a bit of a spark returning to Albedo’s eyes.

“What is hard?” Kaeya carefully prods and puts his fingertips to Albedo’s wrist, hoping to keep him there with him. He deliberately doesn’t focus on the fear that’s building in his stomach.

“Everything. It takes so much effort to pretend to be human. I have to remember so many things, breathing and eating and blinking and everyone expects me to participate in conversation and I always have to think about what to say. It’s exhausting. I’m exhausted.”

The last part is barely audible and Kaeya can almost physically feel the exhaustion weighing Albedo down.

“How does a hive mind factor in?” Kaeya asks instead of touching on anything Albedo has said because he still doesn’t get the whole picture and he’s not about to say something when it might make things worse.

He doesn’t want to make Albedo feel worse.

“I wouldn’t have to think,” Albedo immediately rushes out. “Someone would decide what I should do that day—gather honey, find food, tend to the young; something. It wouldn’t be up to me. I wouldn’t have to think so hard about what the right move might be.”

Kaeya nods in understanding. He gets what Albedo wants to say but—

“It’s quite dangerous too, though,” he carefully ventures and tries not to feel too much triumph when Albedo slightly turns his head towards him, indicating that he’s listening.

“How?”

“What are you going to do if the leader of the hive mind tells you to destroy something? To fight someone you don’t want to fight?”

Albedo opens his mouth as if he wants to answer but then he closes it again without a single sound ever making it past his throat.

“I’m just saying,” Kaeya tacks on and tries to give Albedo a reassuring smile. “Everything has drawbacks.”

“Would still be easier,” Albedo petulantly says.

“Until you’ve destroyed Mondstadt or killed Klee,” Kaeya mercilessly gives back because he can’t have Albedo think that giving up his autonomy is worth it.

Some days might be hard—they are for everyone, Kaeya thinks—but they are never worth that.

Albedo flinches as if Kaeya has hit him and it’s enough to make Kaeya feel bad.

“I’m just—so tired,” Albedo mutters out, sounding the part too, and Kaeya wraps his fingers more firmly around Albedo’s wrist.

“Do you trust me?” he asks and he didn’t know how important the answer would be to him until he notices how hard his heart is beating in his chest.

“Yes,” Albedo simply says as if it doesn’t cost him anything to say.

“Then come to me on these days,” Kaeya tells him, slightly tightening his grip on Albedo, afraid that he might slip right between his fingers if he doesn’t hold on to him hard enough.

“What?”

“Come to me. I’ll tell you to eat and to sleep and to draw me a fucking vase if that is something that might help and you don’t have to think for yourself then. How does that sound?”

Albedo turns to look at Kaeya for the first time that day and Kaeya is never going to admit how much he has missed his gaze on him.

“Sounds—doable,” Albedo admits and though his voice still lacks its usual inflection Kaeya thinks it’s better than nothing. “What are we doing then?”

Kaeya doesn’t even have to think about it before he says “Just sitting here for a while seems good.”

There’s that tell-tale spark in Albedo’s eyes, the one that tells Kaeya he’s going to argue with him about this, but before it can catch on anything it dies out as if it has never been there. It hurts Kaeya to see, but it’s also reassuring in a way because it means Albedo is still there.

“Fine,” Albedo whispers and leans more heavily against Kaeya’s shoulder.

“Dinner later, though, I think,” Kaeya adds, because he doesn’t want Albedo to think that his trust has been entirely misplaced. “And sleep too.”

“Exhausting,” Albedo says, voice barely loud enough to be heard and as if to emphasise his point he drops his head on Kaeya’s shoulder.

“Necessary, though,” Kaeya shoots back immediately and lightly rests his own head on Albedo’s. “But later.”

There’s still an hour or two left until dinner time really comes around and then Kaeya will make sure that Albedo gets something into him, even though he doesn’t really need it. It’s good to stick to routines, especially on days like these, Kaeya knows that from experience, and what kind of help would he be if he just allowed Albedo to wallow away.

But for right now they stay like this on the couch, not really looking at anything, not saying anything but no longer alone.