#being vulnerable isn't my fav but i think it is important sometimes

[tuituipupu]

i'm having such an emotional time lately so i'm gonna be candid for a minute (i'm ok dw just feeling a lot h hh)

though everything feels heavy atm, i can at least feel happy in recognition that when i look back - i certainly have come a long way.

i've always thought i didn't care what people thought of me or my interests (but i think truthfully, everyone does deep down - even if it's just a small bit)

my old blog was SO PRECISELY curated to a tea that i would rb things in a certain order. to keep an aesthetic. and i hated it. it felt like prison (and this place of all online spaces is meant to be free - at least free of judgement!) i deleted that blog a couple of years ago.

now i post whatever i want when the impulse hits me.

i felt like there were lots of aspects of my interests that defied each other too strongly. but human beings are complex. and we can like different things at once (and post about them!)

and i think this is a big problem with aesthetic culture (and don't get me started on core culture on tiktok) i've always loathed it. like you have to tick certain boxes in fashion and culture and lifestyle to be an acceptable being and true to a community.

i'm really grateful for artists like käärijä or more recently, chappell roan. not only for their music ofc, but where many find a relatability in kä for his body positivity, he rly helped me accept the side of myself that is sexual. i always felt like i've buried this part of myself and felt shame and embarrassment. i even feel awkward talking about this now and a bit silly, but idk if some people might be able to relate and if so, i'd be interested to see if anyone shares similar experiences?

i feel like it's ok and above all safe to express myself sexually. i think it comes with being a woman for me, just feeling watched and exploited all the time. which makes me in turn feel awkward to express my sexual needs or desires. or talk about anything sexual. but where käärijä is so free in talking about these things or performing in a way that includes sexual elements, i feel free and like yes. this is normal and human and ok. a lot of people feel this way.

and with chappell roan, her drag elements of her makeup and fashion really inspire me and almost mimic harajuku elements to me. i love the over the top rhinestoning. i definitely feel more confident experimenting in makeup and wearing things i want to wear or have been scared to pair together.

idk i guess it comes with growing up and i'm still very young. but i guess it feels like for me, its taken me a while to get to this point. i know in reality my peers probably have their own battles but ig i don't see them and maybe deep down i almost feel like the odd one out and just idk... awkward?

idk it just feels better to write this now. when you realise things that have maybe been bothering you in the background of your mind and then it suddenly clicks into place.

[lexxiie]

Hi! I’m kinda new here and I read a few of your works and I just read you rules so I’m sure I’m not breaking any, but I was wondering if you could write how Chisaki would react o take care of his S/O who has cancer? I was recently diagnosed and it would make me happy to have my fav character take care of someone who has the same thing as me. Love your writing! I hope you have a wonderful day/night! <3

Hello, darling! I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through something so difficult, I truly hope everything turns out just fine for you. Sending you a hug and my best wishes. I myself had a close person to me suffering from cancer, I hope i'm able to write something decent.

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Pairing: Kai Chisaki x Reader

Kai and you found out that you had cancer about a year after you started dating. He had never experienced love before you. One morning he just found himself realizing that his whole life now belonged to you; his dreams, hopes, thoughts, and his soul. All of them yours, only to wake up the next morning being met with the news that it could all go away.

It's really... weird to think about how someone who is now a part of you, someone who you view as so strong and lively can actually just disappear. Logically, he knows no one is immortal, but you are just so bright and present that somehow it's almost impossible to believe that you could ever leave.

Upon your diagnosis, you tried to be positive and strong. Optimism was important to you, knowing that if you lose hope, then you'll lose everything. You made the choice to try to live as normal as possible the moment you saw the look on Kai's eyes when the doctor said "cancer". You had never seen him so... vulnerable? He had always been a man who reflected strenghth and power, there was a time when you would've sworn he had no feelings at all, that he was just an empty shell of a man. Of course, you now know that he could, in fact, feel. You knew he loved you, but this was something completely new. You realized that if you were to crumble, he would to.

Kai isn't stupid, though. He knows you are trying so hard because of him. During the first few weeks, he started researching everything there was on your condition. He would memorize every single appointment you had, every medication needed, one of his worst fears being the thought of how much pain you were going to face. The treatment is certainly not easy, it takes up so much energy off of anyone, and though you tried hard to remain strong, the change was impossible to ignore.

Kai had once been a man who lived for himself, no one was as important to him as he was, but right now, he just wished there was a way of trading places with you, he wouldn't think twice. If there's someone who deserves all of this, that's him. One thing I can assure you, though. He won't let anything happen to you. Whatever it takes. If he has to travel across the whole world searching for someone with a quirk that can cure you, he will. If he has to take you to a hospital at the other side of the globe to get you a better treatment, he will. He'll do anything. And once he sets his mind on something, he can't be stopped.

He argues with doctors from time to time since he gets frustrated whenever you have bad days where you truly are hurting. He sometimes wishes he had become a doctor because he's convinced he would do things better. Going in and out of hospitals disgusted him because of germs and all, but that fear is now his last priority.

He totally tries to make your life as comfortable as possible, he doesn't want you to get even more tired than you already are. If you are honest with yourself, you kind of feared that he would get away from you once he felt like this was all too much, but if anything, it has just brought you closer, he never leaves your side. Of course, you are much weaker that before, on some days even more so. That's when he'll take care of you the most. He helps you shower, or even dress in hopes he can be useful. And though it may be hard to imagine, he constantly reassures you. You are everything to him. No amount of changes in your attitude or even your body will ever change that, and he's confident that one day, this will all go away and you´ll be able to fulfill all of your plans and dreams for your future together, this is just a rock in the way.

Onto some other small details on what he does for you, he totally carries you through your home so that you don't waste energy walking. I truly believe this man has always cooked for himself because of germs, however he wasn't great at it, but he learned just to cook for you everyday. He'll read to you whenever you feel too drained, to distract you. Also trying to hide the fact that he's absolutely terrified so that he won't terrify you. This whole situation has given him perspective. He wasn't one to constantly show affection or say I love you, but now he sure does all the time. Overall this has just helped him realize how much he needs you in his life, for the rest of his life, and he's not gonna let anything or anyone change those plans. You will be fine, he'll make sure.

MASTERLIST

[just-a-little-cellist]

Jorah Mormont - NSFW Alphabet

A/N: jorah mormont is the love of my life and its a disgrace that there isn't more content for him, so i made some :) requests are still open

nsfw under the cut :P enjoy!

A - Aftercare (what are they like after sex)

King of aftercare. He is always careful to check you're alright and that he didn't hurt you at all. You might have to verbally reassure him that you enjoyed it, since on occasion he gets anxious, but after that he's more than content to cuddle with you for as long as you want.

B - Body part (fav body part of themselves/their partner)

There isn't really a specific part of himself that he prefers, and the insecurity that came after his greyscale certainly didn't help, but he would probably say his build in general. He's gained of lot of strength and is rather proud of it.

Jorah thinks that all of you is flawless, although his favourite part of you is your smile. He thinks it's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen and when it's directed at him it makes his heart melt.

C - Cum (where do they prefer to cum?)

His favourite place to cum is inside you. It feels so intimate and he doesn't want to degrade you by finishing anywhere else on you.

D - Dirty secret (self-explanatory)

He isn't the best at it himself, but hearing you dirty talk is one of his biggest turn ons. Especially if you whisper things to him in public, it always causes him to flush bright red.

E - Experience (how experienced are they?)

He's had enough experience that he knows what he's doing, but he is generally a little more reserved than most with who he sleeps with.

F - Favourite position (goes without saying)

Cowgirl. Jorah likes to be able to admire all of you - looking up at you while you ride him makes you look like a goddess in his eyes. It also lets him feel vulnerable sometimes, and when you start riding him his brain just shuts off.

G - Goofy (are they goofy or serious in the moment?)

He tends to be more serious during sex, preferring to be immersed in the moment with you.

H - Hair (opinions on grooming etc.)

He doesn't fuss too much over his hair, but if you ask then he's willing to do something with it.

I - Intimacy (how intimate are they during sex?)

Intimacy is incredibly important to Jorah. Sex is the perfect time for him to express just how much he cares for you, and he pours all his unsaid emotions into his actions.

J - Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn't do it very often, only every now and then if he's away from you. He prefers to relieve his urges with you when possible.

K - Kinks (again, pretty self-explanatory)

I feel like Jorah is usually pretty vanilla, but I do headcanon him as a service sub. He enjoys it when you aren't afraid to take control and be dominant, and he is more than happy to do as you tell him. However, if I had to pick a specific kink, I think he would have a praise kink. Being told that he's doing a good job is reassuring and he makes the prettiest sounds when you compliment him in bed.

L - Location (favourite place to do the deed)

Again, he's pretty tame so his go-to is just the bed, although he's not above fucking you in the bath after a long day.

M - Motivation (what gets them going)

One thing that really gets him going is seeing your feisty side. He likes watching you stand up for yourself and not take shit from anyone else - it really speaks to his sub side. Another thing that I've mentioned already is dirty talk. Hearing you say such vulgar things will instantly get him in the mood.

N - No (something they'd never do)

Jorah refuses to do anything to hurt you, regardless of how badly you want it (this includes CNC). He can be coaxed into being rougher sometimes but he hates the idea of harming you in any way.

O - Oral (preference in giving, receiving etc.)

This man is undoubtedly, 100% a giver. He's surprisingly talented at oral and, every time you sleep together, he makes sure you finish on his tongue at least once before you fuck.

P - Pace (are they fast, slow, quick, rough?)

Jorah likes to take his time in making sure you're properly satisfied (service sub) so he tends to go slower and prefers to treat you gently, but if you want then he's happy to change the pace to suit you better.

Q - Quickie (opinion on quickies)

He's not a huge fan of them. He wants to be able to take things slow, at least most of the time.

R - Risk (how open are they to risk?)

If there's ever anything remotely risky you'd want to do, you'd have to be the one to suggest it. Jorah is open to most things but would never initiate anything new in case you didn't like it.

S - Stamina (how long can they go for?)

He's fairly average in terms of stamina, and might go for a couple of rounds on a good day, but will more than make up for it with how many times he'll make you finish.

T - Toy (opinion on using toys etc.)

He would rather pleasure you himself rather than using toys on you, but he does like the idea of watching you use toys on yourself.

U - Unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

In the bedroom, he doesn't tease at all and just tries to make you cum as much as possible. However on days he's feeling particularly flirty, he'll do subtle things in public that he knows will rile you up.

V - Volume (are they loud or quiet?)

It depends on the day. Usually Jorah is rather quiet in bed, more focused on the sounds you make, but if he's in a subby headspace he'll be a bit louder.

W - Wild card (random headcanon)

One day, while the two of you were in town, you got needy and pulled him into an alleyway to give him a blowjob. Now whenever he walks past an alleyway he gets reminded of the memory and blushes uncontrollably.

X - X-ray (what's going on... down there?)

He's a little on the thinner side, and is an inch or two above average in length.

Y - Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He has a moderate sex drive, but can be very easily swayed if you're in the mood.

Z - Zzzzz... (how quickly do they fall asleep after?)

Jorah always, without fail, will wait until you've drifted off before he goes to sleep. It gives him peace of mind to ensure you're safe and protected beforehand.

[redjaybathood]

So, let's do more controversal ones: JayTalia, SladeDick, JayRoman

1) JayTalia

Emphatic yes. I don't care what fandom says about the ending of Lost Days. You can ignore it, you know! Pick and choose your canon.

I tend to waver between ignoring it and not. Ignoring because frankly, it's pushing Talia into "yes Jason take revenge on Bruce!!!" mindset kinda out of nowhere. Of it supposed to be in the aftermath of Death and the Maidens, you can honestly just have her hurting and seeking human connection while subconsciously not allowing herself be vulnerable. Voila, sex. It's not, like, the most romantic or healthy thing ever but that's how sex is sometimes.

And Jason is going through some stuff, too. It also doesn't have to be about Bruce.

All in all, Winnick is describing Jason as someone not interested in sex (sex with women in particular) which is more or less how I read him. Having this as his only sex scene is honestly important to me and how I headcanon his portrayal as asexual*.

People who go: she raped him! You can go and fuck off. Neither of them was of a great mental state, true, and it had been ill-advised, maybe. But he's over eighteen. And he has full mental faculties. Thanks to Talia, by the way.

There's not one moment where she manipulated him with her evil viles, okay? You guys can go ahead to headcanoning "Lazarus Pit made him do it".

*how does asexuality meshes with it? So: 1) it's a spectrum 2) sometimes ace ppl still enjoy sex to some degree 3) honestly if it's the first and only time they have sex ever over the course of their relationship, nothing wrong with that either

People who go: but she's his mom! Uhh not really? I mean, it's fine if it's your headcanon. And I love those joking posts that go "Jason is Talia's favourite kid". But. No, he isn't, actually. Even if she did spend a lot of time taking care of him while he had been offline, and helped him to get on his feet after.

I do think that it forged an unbreakable bond between them. I do think that Jason just has to be in awe of her. I do think that she has to be fond of him. I do think that she, Jason and Damian could be a really fun family unit to explore. My fav AU of them is where they leave the League and just fuck off to the middle of Bumfuck, Minnesota, to raise Damian like a normal kid, in safety, which they both lacked. And at first, they're like, fake marriage AU where it's a cover. But with time, it becomes reality.

For a more familial relationship, I prefer Jason staying with Talia and Damian in the League. Adopting Heretic name (because a) no test tube brothers for Damian to take this moniker and b) Jason becoming an assassin is hersey to what Batman taught him). Being Damian's bodyguard/teacher, or Talia SiC.

I also do love to think about an AU where Damian has to team-up with Jason to save Talia and it kills him to acknowledge a bond between his mother and Todd, and his own bond with Todd that goes beyond their father.

I also like to think about an AU one-shot where Talia is raising Damian in Metropolis, across them there's a new neighbor, a very cool woman she would like to become friends with, Nyssa. And Jason is, like, studying in college in Metropolis and sometimes he drops by, and if Talia had a difficult day at the office, she would rant to him while he's massaging her feet or something. Jason, in turn, would vent that college is not everything he thought it would be. They would drink white wine and eat pizza and watch sitcoms.

I am sorry. I just. I love them.

2) SladeDick

No. No shade on fans but it personally makes my skin crawl. Whereas I am pretty okay with SladeJay, for example.

Mostly it's because most of what I have seen of Sladick is with Renegade!Dick, and you gotta seriously fuck Dick in his brain in a very no-fun way. Which may be an interesting thing to explore, to some people. But Dick is one of those characters, for me, where I can't read whump with them. I had read whump with him and I haven't regretted anything so much. Maybe Tim whump.

whump and sladick is inherently connected in my mind and thus, I cannot stand it.

3) RomanJay

Now, you may thing those two are similar with previous two. But there's one aspect that makes me really interested.

Here, potentially, any whump can result in Jason killing the shit out of Roman, and that will be satisfying to read.

I am also glad that Jason gets to have a villain obsessed with him as everyone else. And I honestly respect those romanjay writers that I know. But if it's not a revenge porn (not like Roman leaking Jason's photos, that's traumatic; but Jason defeating Roman and spitting at his proverbial grave or something) I won't be interested.

[just-a-little-cellist]

Levi Ackerman - NSFW Alphabet

A/N: i'm bored so i'm just writing these nsfw headcanons for all my comfort characters, don't judge me. feel free to request - i posted request rules so go check it out :)

enjoy! nsfw under the cut :P

A - Aftercare (what are they like after sex)

The first time you have sex, Levi needs a lot of comfort. He'd never been that vulnerable with someone before and it took a lot for him to open up like that, so aftercare for him is the priority. Once sex becomes more frequent and he gets used to everything, he's the one to clean you both up but he still needs more emotional reassurance than he'll admit.

B - Body part (fav body part of themselves/their partner)

He isn't a vain person, so he'd probably say his arms just because of how much you love them. He wasn't too fussed at first but because of all the attention you give them he's started growing fonder of them.

His favourite part of you is your neck and collarbones. He didn't even realize he had a thing for that until he met you, and whenever you wear chokers he can't take his eyes off you.

C - Cum (where do they prefer to cum?)

Levi prefers to cum on your stomach, purely because it makes it easier to clean up. (He's always very mindful of any mess.)

D - Dirty secret (self-explanatory)

It obviously couldn't happen because of his status, but it sends a shiver of arousal through him whenever he imagines you humiliating him in public. It's something he wants to try in private, though he's nervous to talk about it with you.

E - Experience (how experienced are they?)

Levi is a virgin, since he doesn't have sex with people he doesn't genuinely, 100% trust. You'll have to guide him through everything at the beginning, however he's a quick learner and picks it up pretty fast.

F - Favourite position (goes without saying)

He likes missionary a lot because it lets him feel close to you, and he'll melt if you wrap your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist. He also gets shy sometimes, so this position is perfect to hide his face in your neck.

G - Goofy (are they goofy or serious in the moment?)

Other than the odd sarcastic comment, he's generally serious. If he's in a vulnerable position then joking around doesn't calm his nerves at all.

H - Hair (opinions on grooming etc.)

Levi keeps his own hair neatly trimmed. He'd prefer if you keep yours vaguely under control but, as long as it's clean, it's up to you how you keep it.

I - Intimacy (how intimate are they during sex?)

It takes him a while to fully open up to you, but sex becomes one of the most intimate moments you ever share with Levi where he truly breaks down all his walls for you, just the two of you.

J - Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn't tend to masturbate unless he's really desperate. Something about it just makes him uncomfortable, but he also has urges sometimes when you aren't available.

K - Kinks (again, pretty self-explanatory)

When you first started sleeping together, Levi had more of the control because he thought that was the way it was 'supposed' to be. However once you brought up the idea of him being submissive, your dynamic shifted. He was extremely hesitant at the beginning because he wasn't used to being in such a powerless position, though as soon as you managed to get him into a submissive headspace it became a regular occurrence.

Levi is a sub at heart who needs a soft dom more than anything. Some of the kinks you've explored that he likes are bondage, light impact play, praise, orgasm denial and marking (as long as the marks are hidden during the day.)

He also definitely has a bit of a humiliation kink but he's still working up the courage to tell you.

L - Location (favourite place to do the deed)

His favourite place is a tie between the shower and his desk. Sometimes when he's had a long day and doesn't want a full scene, he likes to have sex in the shower (also it makes clean-up easier). Although if he feels like subbing, as long as the door is locked, one of his favourite things is for you to cockwarm him while he's trying to work.

M - Motivation (what gets them going)

Showing skin is a sure-fire way to get him riled up. I personally headcanon Levi as demisexual, so he doesn't care when other people show skin, but if it's you? All you have to do is leave a couple buttons undone, expose your chest a little, and he is done for. Also, slipping casual praise into conversations will sometimes start pushing him into a submissive headspace, especially if you've done a lot of scenes with him recently because he starts responding to that tone of voice.

N - No (something they'd never do)

He doesn't like intense pain play - he's had enough pain the rest of his life so he needs you to be gentle with him. He also wouldn't want a harsh or strict dom, preferring to have you take care of him instead.

O - Oral (preference in giving, receiving etc.)

He enjoys both equally. Before you'd had sex you wanted to ease him into the experience carefully, so you gave him his first blowjob and he almost sobbed from the stimulation. Buuuuuuut alongside that he would also happily spend hours between yours legs - the praise you give him as he pleasures you and the feeling of you clenching around his tongue is almost enough to make him finish without any physical touch.

P - Pace (are they fast, slow, quick, rough?)

If it's just against the wall in the shower then it tends to be a bit faster, and on the odd occasion Levi feels more dominant he can get rougher, but he is usually perfectly content to let you decide the pace entirely.

Q - Quickie (opinion on quickies)

They're good sometimes, especially when you're both very busy with other duties. They're good to relieve basic urges, but Levi would never choose them over a full scene.

R - Risk (how open are they to risk?)

Levi is open to a bit of experimentation, but never anything exhibitionist. He can't risk the possibility of someone catching him in a compromising position, considering his importance in the military, so he insists that you keep all bedroom activities private.

S - Stamina (how long can they go for?)

As expected, at the start Levi had pretty low stamina since it was all so new and overwhelming. It gotten a little better since then but he also has a fairly quick recovery time to make up for it.

T - Toys (opinion on using toys etc.)

He doesn't particularly enjoy using toys on you, but adores when you use toys on him.

U - Unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

He'll only tease you a little when he's in a dominant mood and you've been doing something to piss him off, but the rest of the time it's not something he does at all. (He kind of likes when you tease him though.)

V - Volume (are they loud or quiet?)

Levi is cautious to control his volume so that other people don't hear, but his whimpers of pleasure can get quite loud sometimes.

W - Wild card (random headcanon)

During a scene once, while he was deep into subspace, he accidently called you mommy. When he realized what he said he was mortified, and almost started dropping. You had to quickly assure him that it was perfectly alright, that you weren't upset with him, and that you don't mind it if he wants to keep calling you that. He only uses that name for you when he's really, really submissive, and it's adorable hearing the tiny whimpers of "P-please mommy..."

X - X-ray (what's going on... down there?)

So many people seem to think that this man has a monster cock. He is 5'3 there is no way. He's a little smaller than average, in length and girth, but that just means you can hear him whine when you take his whole length into your mouth.

Y - Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is low most of the time. He has so many other things he has to focus on everyday, so sex doesn't cross his mind that much. Sex is more of a stress relief that he doesn't think too much about until it happens.

Z - Zzzzz... (how quickly do they fall asleep after?)

Being an insomniac, Levi takes a while to settle down to sleep, although it's always a little easier when he's comfortably next to you. (definitely the little spoon)