just re watched kk3! Yknow what that means...DANIEL LARUSSO ANGST !!!! It fills my brain like an infection and makes me want to sob profusely.
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WTF Does This Show Think It's Doing Being This Fucking Good and Trauma Dumping Everything I'm Not Crying You Are!!!!
S3E19 Memoria.
I am Actually Upset. I am crying. This is legitimately Sad. Genuine childhood trauma and repressed memories and it's just so Real. Not, 'oh my poor blorbo/baby boy' real, but like, 'this could be an actual real person who had this shit happen to them' and it's actually so horribly sad and depressing and good thing I don't have work tomorrow because it's going to take me at least a day to recover from this.
I am genuinely devastated. It hurts so much because I know there are Real People out there me who have to deal with repressed childhood trauma and this just hit so hard for me.
Also is it just me or is Clark a major asshole in this series? Like, just tell them the goddamned truth you fucking prick!!!
FUCK!!!
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Do you have any advice for doing things alone? Specifically traveling? I'm an overthinker and I always get so nervous but I want to go and I've been saving to go but I always stop because I think something horrible will happen.
(for anyone who needs it, tw for discussion of triggers/ anxiety)
Ahhh this can be tricky to manage. I'm absolutely not a confident traveller. I have pretty big anxiety and ocd, so I really do empathise. What I did this trip was reach out to my close friends and ask them if I could call them/contact them when I was doing the scary things that triggered me. And those scary moments did happen! I landed late at night in a smaller city in Northern Thailand, my bags got misplaced, I cried at two (lovely) security guards who were very sweet. My hotel shuttle guy couldn't find me, I called the hotel in high anxiety and they talked me down. Actually it was pretty intense and I feel really stressed/embarrassed about it now! but, I got through it okay. And everyone in those moments really does want to help.
I called my friend from home that night while I was travelling to my hotel (strangers driving me places, a trigger of mine) and they talked to me the whole time and let me refind my balance. I also did some digital hand holding with other friends. Knowing that someone knows where you are, even if far away was a comfort.
So, things I found helpful: have the hotel number ready and don't be afraid to call. If it's Thailand you want to travel to, and it's in your budget, the more higher end hotels are worth the money for their customer service - you can email/etc and get questions answered.
This trip was a little intense for me at the beginning, but the cliche of it is true: do it scared ❤
btw I'm happy to talk about more specific questions you have! You can message me, on anon or off!! I'm happy to chat! ❤
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okay i have to be emo for 5 seconds to thank you all for 100 followers!
i’ve had this blog for a while, but i wasn’t active until after my dog died in late june. i was sad and lonely and needed a distraction from everyday life. writing and being active in the self ship community has helped me immensely.
thank you all for following along and putting up with my bs! i’ve made some great friends and hope to make even more <3
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think this means i’ve made it?! 🥹 AHH I LOVE YOU SEB 😭💗💗 @sebsxphia <33
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