#beta is going to revoke my bone marrow rights with a jackhammer

[localplaguenurse]

Idk why but I’m suddenly remember the part where wifey thought Morax died. Anyways I’m cursing the fact that the gods saw it fit that I think in pictures because my god. The desperation, the way Wifey would hesitate for a split second to fully process that their supposed dead husband is right there standing. Wifey would basically crash into his arms and hold him tight, fisting their arms into his clothes as their put their ear on chest and as the steady beat of his heart reassured them that he’s here and not dead. Then, the dam breaks and a horrible sound erupted from Wifey as they cling to him desperately as if he would disappear if they’re were to let go and as sobs wracked through Wifey, Morax swears he will never be the cause of their despair again.

Tldr: why is it that your fics like to wack me over the head with a baseball bat when I least expect it. I wrote all this with tears in my eyes and I’m getting the post crying headache

Oh that’s so sweet and not actually how I saw that scene :3 in a good way? Bad way? I like yours but I’m gonna make everyone’s day worse!

Something that only kind of came up a couple of times and I wish I expanded on a little more is sometimes wifey’s anxiety can present itself as anger. This is because I based it off of my anxiety, at least at the time because I was dealing with some shit. A lot of built up frustration and stress. You only really see it when they yell at Wei Jin for packing their things and when Morax crash landed and they snapped at Xiao and Li Lei. I wish it came up a little more for both character building and because like, hey, this is how anxiety works sometimes.

So picture this. You’re wifey. You hear your husband is dead, which causes you to have the worst panic attack of your life, to the point you pass out, and all you can think about is how the rest of your family will react and how one of the few people from your past is now gone. You’re not even thinking about how him dying means that you might die as well.

You go home, and on the journey there you’re wondering how long until your children hear, how long you have left before you’re gone, and how you’re going to cope with being in your home without you husband there.

And then he’s standing there, making tea, like the horrific news of his passing is not spreading through Liyue like wildfire. He looks up at you, and he sees you’re an absolute mess (how could you not be?). He calls your name out, softly.

You realize it’s really him. It’s Morax, your husband, alive and well.

And you start to scream at him.

It’s the first time you have ever truly raised your voice at him. You’ve had disagreements and squabbles in the past - even happily married, no one can go 2000 years without a little conflict - but this is completely different. You’ve never been this furious with anyone, much less your own husband. You don’t even know what is making you angrier. Is it because he scared you into thinking he was dead? Is it because he didn’t tell you? Is it because of how you found out? Is it because you don’t know if your children and grandchildren know what’s happening? It doesn’t matter because it all bubbles to the surface and you cannot stop yourself from asking him what the fuck were you thinking?!

And then you’re out of steam. Tears are running down your face but you don’t know when or why you started crying. Your throat and head hurt from the screaming, and your whole body just feels awful. Morax stares at you, speechless, horrified. You don’t know if he’s horrified by your reaction, or because he’s the reason you’re like this.

You sink to your knees and just... sob. It’s all you have the energy to do. You feel like shit because of your panic attack earlier, and you feel like shit for yelling.

Morax at some point snaps out of his stupor to step forward. He sits down next to you, and it kills him when you initially flinch away from him. He’s murmuring, telling you that he’s sorry, he didn’t mean to scare you, it’s a complicated situation, and you have every right to be as mad at him as you are, but please, my darling, deep breaths.

He holds you close for the rest of the evening, and the house is dead quiet. You cling to him in your sleep, and he stays up all night running his fingers through your hair. He’ll never forgive himself, and there’s a part of him that hopes you don’t forgive him either. He had already brought you to anguished tears when you two had first gotten married, and he made a promise, a contract, to never let anything hurt you and to give you a happy life.

He feels like he failed you. 2000 years of married bliss, nullified in an instant. It doesn’t matter to him if you forgive him. He’ll still hear your grief clear as day for however long he has left.