#big fucking whoop give me swings

[valla-chan]

grgrrggrhgkrhkaukerhgjherkajg/..... GRRGRGRGRRGTFHFHFFHGGTFTFTGFGFG

[sociallyrepressed]

tangled fates

“Colapinto! It is the demand of the law you be stopped! Surrender!”

It’s really wonder how Franco finds himself in these situations. Actually, not really, if he thinks about it. He definitely knew what he was getting into when he agreed to steal the crown with the twins- then betray said twins. Whatever, it’s a criminal world, there are no friends.

He’s panting heavily, breathes rattling in his chest. There’s the pounding of horse hooves behind him, and he’s ducking through foliage.

It’s really fucking unfair. He’s running on foot and they’ve got prized stallions of a high pedigree to chase him down. Fucking English whores. He bursts through another array of hanging vines, scrambling to dig his heels into the rocky earth of the sudden cliff’s edge. What the fuck.

He rears back, but he doesn’t have time to turn around and go a different direction, not with the royal guard down his neck, so he looks around frantically for anywhere to hide. On his third visual pass he notices a an entrance tucked behind an outcrop of rock and covered by overgrowth. He runs to it, cursing quietly when he realizes there are several industrial locks on the outside of the door.

Digging through his satchel frantically, Franco pulls out his handy piece of welded elastic iron, setting to work picking the many locks. Honestly, there’s an absurd amount of locks.

The thundering sound of the guard is fastly approaching. The last lock gives just as the shiny reflection of glossy horse coats, and he shoves his way through the door, slamming it shut behind him. He leans against the door to listen, since there are no windows, releasing a sigh of relief upon hearing the retreat of the guards.

Relaxing his shoulders, Franco turns to look at his surroundings.

“Hello?” It looks like the inside of a cottage, complete with a kettle whistling on the stove. Counters and shelves and surfaces everywhere are covered by clay creations. “Is anyone here?” Franco walks through, trying to find a back exit. Beyond the front area and the kitchen, there’s a living room filled with pictures and books. Despite a general feeling of wariness, curiosity wins out and takes a closer looks at the frames. There are many smiling faces and moments in time that stare back at him, a lot of them appearing more than once. He’s so distracted by looking at the faces, trying to figure out which one owns the cottage, that he doesn’t hear a soft growling from behind. He doesn’t see the figure approaching his back until it’s too late- all he can see is the reflection of something being swung behind him before it all goes dark.

Curiosity killed the cat, and all that.

There’s an ache wrapping his head in cotton, senses dulled and sluggish when he comes to. The first thing he processes is something rough and wet pressing against his ears. Franco’s eyes snap open to see a big dog blocking most of his vision and licking the side of his face.

He lets out a yell and goes to push the dog away when he realizes his wrists and ankles have been restrained to a chair.

“What the…”

“How did you find me here?” A voice comes from the dark corner of whatever room he’s in- he’s probably concussed, he’s going to give himself grace at his lack of awareness. Squinting his eyes to try and make out any features at all doesn’t help. Luckily, the man- and he knows it’s a man from the voice- steps into the ring of light around the center of the room.

And he’s. The man is quite pretty, in Franco’s opinion. Planes of tanned skin and a mess of rich brown curls atop his head. He’s lean, but not skinny, Franco can see muscles shift in his legs when he moves and in his arms when he lifts-

“Wait, wait, wait!” He stops the man from swinging a damn frying pan at his head again. He realizes he hadn’t been listening to him talking, whoops. He does the safe thing and answers the first question, “I didn’t find you anywhere, don’t even know who you are. Although, if the fates did guide me here I wouldn’t complain.” He feels his lips pull back into an impish grin.

Fuck his natural tendencies to flirt his way out of situations. Damn. The man steps back and lowers his weapon out of shock.

“What?”

Franco winces to himself but ultimately decides to lean into it as long as it keeps the pan away from his head. “Franco Colapinto, and I’m here because the Mother decided you’re too pretty to be as lonesome as you are. She led me here.” The man raises his eyebrows, unimpressed. Even the dog sits back on its haunches, eyebrows furrowed like it’s giving him a judgmental look. He doesn’t cringe, not one bit. “And who are you?”

He hesitates a moment before answering, “Lando.” Then he gestures to the dog, who is still staring at Franco. “And this is Max. But why are you here?”

And uh oh. Suddenly he remembers the satchel and the prized diadem hidden within. Fuck fuck fuck.

“Where is it? The satchel.”

Lando’s face turns smug. “It’s somewhere you’ll never find it.” The dog barks in agreement.

He cranes his neck to peer at the various pots in the corners of the room. One sticks out to him, bright and beautiful. “It’s in that pot, isn’t it?” He raises an eyebrow. Lando narrows his eyes and sucks in a breath, swinging the pan at Franco’s head before he can even open his mouth to protest.

There’s something pulling at the side of his face. A rough, wet type of friction that’s- Franco’s eyes snap open again to see Max with his paws up on the side of chair, licking his ear.

“Stop doing that,” he whips his back as far as he can to get away from the dog-breath. Somehow, Max seems to understand, pulling back and padding over to sit at his master’s feet. Speaking of, Franco drags his eyes appreciatively over Lando.

“Now you’ll never find it.” His grin is infectious, and he might be the worst kidnapper Franco’s ever met. He wonders how long it’s been since he’s socialized with another human being, or maybe even anything living that’s not the dog.

“That’s alright, I think I’ve found something more valuable anyways.” It’s really not alright, the diadem is worth fortunes, but he doesn’t quite think the wealth of the Seven Kingdoms equates to seeing a blush spread across his cheeks.

“Enough.” He snaps, but Franco doesn’t feel chastised. It’s hard to when he can see the effects of his words on the man. “If you want it back you’re going to do me a favor.”

“A favor?” He allows his eyes to drag over him again. Franco knows that’s not what he meant, he just can’t help but to tease such a responsive victim.

Lando scowls at him. “I want to see the stars.”

“The stars?” Disbelieving. A possession worth more than their lives in his grasp, a criminal with a reward of thousands, and he wants to see stars? “Uh, you can’t just go outside and see them?”

“No, not those ones. The ones that only come out once a year. Tomorrow night.”

Ah, he’s talking about the lanterns for the lost prince. Should be easy enough.

“Alright, Lando, you’ve got yourself a deal. Release me.”

Lando stands for a few moments, studying him. Once he’s decided Franco probably won’t attack him and run, he carefully unties the binds that connected Franco and the chair.

“Well, come on then princess, we’ve got some lights to see.”

[nogitsunbae]

whoops more mungrove smut sorry

The thing is, Billy knows he’s gonna be done for the second he gives in and drives two towns over to see Eddie and his band play.

He knows.

So he keeps putting it off. Telling Eddie his dad won’t let him, Max needs something that night, blah blah blah, until finally Steve corners him at Family Video.

“It’s breaking his heart, you know,” Steve says, absentmindedly putting tapes back on shelves. “He wants to show off for you, man, wants you to have some fun with him.”

And Billy goes home that night frowning, but calls Eddie and asks when they’re playing again, and Billy could hear Eddie’s excited movements through the phone, his big dopey smile.

He’s done for, already, really.

Two weeks later he parks his car and takes a deep breath. Gets out. Already had people staring because of course he got a bit dressed up (more than usual) to see his stupid crush play live. Walked in and found himself a wall to lean on, smoke his cigarettes, growl at anyone who approached him.

He only had eyes for one tonight.

And, well.

He knew.

Eddie came out, spitting venom, screaming, raging on his guitar and absolutely driving the crowd (and Billy) wild. And Billy couldn’t help it. Shit, it had been well over a year since he had gone to a proper show, could jump and swing and scream with people just like him. He got caught up in it for a bit, until he looked up to find Eddie staring right at him, smiling, winking at him. Blowing him a kiss.

Fuck.

And then he couldn’t help but to look at Eddie’s sweaty arms when he shredded the guitar, the muscles in his neck straining as he screamed, his fingers moving wicked along the strings, Eddie’s tongue piercing shining whenever the light hit his open mouth just right.

And Billy really was, gone, then, hard in his way too tight jeans from more than just adrenaline, panting from more than moving his body with the crowd, saliva pooling in his mouth from more than just screaming.

He made his way to the back, was ushered in without much preamble, Eddie must’ve known he would want to come backstage afterwards, and waited.

Forever.

He knew disassembling the set could take a while, but he was aching, probably had a wet patch on the front of his jeans, and by the time Eddie walked in he was a whining mess.

“Billy?”

All he could do was whine, cover his face in his hands. This was so fucking embarrassing. He should’ve just left earlier. He heard boots walking quickly his way and hitched a breath.

“I— I’m sorry, Eddie.”

He peeked out from his hands, face scrunched up, trying to hold back tears.

“Why? You just came to the show, why would you be—“

Eddie noticed Billy’s jeans. How hard he was, how wet he was. And just sighed.

“Billy.”

“This is so stupid.”

“Billy, please.”

“I’m just gonna—“

“Baby, please listen to me.”

Billy stopped, then, and stayed still, looking up at Eddie with confusion.

“You really think I would’ve invited you here and put on that show if I didn’t want to make your dick hard?” Eddie asked, smiling. “Baby, I’ve been waiting to get you here just for that. Just to see you crumble over it. And god, it was so fucking worth it, look at you.”

He took a step to Billy, cupped his aching cock through his jeans.

“So fucking wet, Jesus.”

Billy whined, covered his face in his hands again.

“Don’t need to be embarrassed, baby, shit, look at what you’ve done to me. The thought of you out there raging to my music fucking got me hard as a rock, was hoping this would happen.” He took one of Billy’s hands and guided it to his crotch, and Billy shuddered when he felt the hardness that greeted him.

“Can I…?”

Eddie smiled, “whatever you want, baby.”

And Billy was done for, again, when he grabbed Eddie by his sweaty arms and pulled him in for a kiss, groaned at the way the piercing slid against his tongue, keened when he sucked on it and Eddie gently pushed at his shoulders to get him on his knees.

“Whatever you want, baby,” Eddie said again, licking his lips, and Billy leaned forward, rubbed his face against his crotch, practically purred when Eddie fisted a handful of his hair and unzipped his pants.

He was sweaty here, too, musky, and Billy wasted no time licking around Eddie, burying his nose into the soft damp hairs at the base of his cock before finally leaning back and opening his mouth, closing his eyes and sticking his tongue out.

He was done for. He knew this. Knew it when Eddie painted his face with his cum. Knew it when he gathered up some with his fingers and slid them into Billy’s mouth, the taste mixing with the sweat and the metal of his rings. Knew it when Eddie dropped down to the floor and rubbed Billy through his jeans hard, had him cumming in his pants and whining. Knew it when Eddie gave him a soft kiss and told him he was never letting him go.

Billy was done for. But pretty happy about it.

[wendytestabrat]

WHAT I THINK THE ICARLY CHARACTER’S BIG 3 ARE IN ASTROLOGY

ok time for icarly edition of the big 3. it’s the layers of an onion. i talk abt the rising sign first bc that’s how u come across to others on first appearance, then the sun sign is like ur identity & shit, and your moon is ur deep emotional side. all of the icarly characters’ birthdays have been confirmed so yeah all of these sun signs are canon but the rising & moons are my wild guesses. imo these sun signs are ON POINT and the icarly writers or whoever the fuck did a good job picking the characters’ birthdays lol. except for spencer tho idk if scorpio would’ve been the best sign i’d pick for him. okie….

CARLY:

yeah carly is DEF a libra rising she comes across super nice, sweet, polite, & friendly and she’s always mediating conflicts when sam & freddie are fighting LOL. but yeah when u peel back the onion she’s a canon leo (her bday is july 24) bc when u get to know carly better she’s not as sweet as she seems and she’s actually rlly bitchy and bossy AF like a leo LOL. (which is why her & sam get along bc sam is an aries which is also a fire sign so that’s why carly enables sam’s cruelty and bad attitude sometimes AND why they both like to be in the spotlight). she’s a total diva & an egomaniac bc the bitch named the webshow after herself and thinks it’s all about her (look i know how to make fun of my own sign isn’t it great how we leos know how to take a joke) & carly is a HUGE leader too. i’m also a libra rising leo sun so i have the same problem where i come across all nice & sweet at first to most people but then when they discover my leo they realize how much of a cunt i rlly am LOL (and then they hate me bc they thought i was someone they could use & manipulate at first but then they discover i’m not so they’re like oh shit bye i’m done with you). i feel like most of us leos are like carly we’re all nice & friendly and shit but we’re not afraid to let out the sass and be mean if we have to which is carly af LOL. and then carly is a capricorn moon which explains why she’s def the responsible one of the group. carly is rlly mature for her age and has her shit together considering the fact she’s always the one who ends up parenting spencer and not the other way around.

SAM:

sam def gives me earth rising vibes so i feel like she’s a taurus rising. sam comes across rlly dependable and loyal (she sticks by carly’s side through thick and thin) and sam keeps shit real too like a taurus. AND she loves food too LOL. but yeah peeling back the onion she’s DEF an aries which is EXTREMELY fitting bc they’re the aggressive, feisty, impulsive ones of the zodiac and that’s literally sam’s entire character. but yeah peeling back the onion even MORE i think sam is a cancer moon bc deep down sam is sensitive AF like a cancer and she’s rlly intuitive too which is why she’s so manipulative in so many episodes LOL. jennette mccurdy is a cancer irl so i feel like there’s a lot of cancer vibes in sam’s character too. it also makes her aries outbursts like 100x more volatile and emotional bc of all the mood swings she has. sam is a rlly caring person she just doesn’t like to show it prob bc of her aries sun lol. AND she’s protective af too like remember that time she whooped that girl’s ass at the groovy smoothie after she was bullying carly?

FREDDIE:

yeah he’s def a virgo rising. freddie comes across rlly brainy and analytical & he’s extremely dependable too and quick to lend a hand and help someone out if they need it. peeling back the onion he’s actually an aquarius which is fitting AF. freddie is a total tech nerd and aquariuses are the innovators of the zodiac lol & he’s rlly aloof and overly logical abt shit but freddie is still rlly friendly, nice, & easygoing like a typical aquarius. but deep down freddie is a pisces moon bc freddie is sensitive AF and gets butthurt easily lol. he’s a rlly passive person and he gets pushed around easily and taken advantage of like a pisces which was why he let carly string him along for 47373892 years and let sam bully the shit out of him LOL. freddie is too nice for his own good and has a total martyr complex bc he helps bitches too much who don’t deserve his help.

SPENCER:

spencer is an aquarius rising bc yeah spencer comes across weird af. he’s constantly inventing shit and sculpting random ass art projects and he does NOT like to live life the conventional way hence why he has no real job. but yeah spencer is actually a scorpio (which honestly isn’t the best sign for him i’d rather him just be an aquarius sun) which makes sense to some extent how he’s RLLY passionate and focused on his art projects and shit. spencer is also rlly loyal, caring, & protective like a scorpio and he has his occasional moments where his stinger comes out and he gets overly protective like that time he didn’t want carly dating the peewee baby dude LOL. but yeah spencer is a sag moon bc he’s SUPER energetic, spontaneous, & adventurous and he does NOT like to settle down. i mean the dude was only in law school for 3 days and then dropped out that is some sagittarius shit right there. spencer has to have some fire in his big 3 bc he’s the dude who literally starts fires all the time soooo LOL.

GIBBY:

yeah gibby is a sag rising he comes across SUPER outgoing & adventerous and he’s always down to do the craziest shit. he’s a fun guy u wanna hang out with. and he also can be aggressive af too like u do NOT wanna mess with gibby, remember when he whooped nora’s ass???? but yeah gibby’s bday is jan 20 which is RIGHT at the beginning of aquarius season (i deadass thought he was a capricorn at first) so yeah he’s an aquarius bc he’s weird AF. gibby doesn’t give a fuck and he does his own thing. he likes dancing with his shirt off. only an aquarius would do something so humiliating. but deep down he’s a taurus moon. gibby def gives me earth vibes he’s chill af and he’s rlly solid & dependable and always there for everyone. he keeps it 100% real no bs. gibby doesn’t pretend to be someone he’s not. gibby is gibby.

[berrypass-de-murdler]

70. Death in an Even Darker Alley

So I made every murdler that has a design in Gacha Life now!

All 62 of em, now I have a bucket of little murdlers I can fuck around with

6 more designs left before book 2!!

The book 2 designs are going to be SO CURSED

ANYWAY

Here's one of my earlier designs and one of my all-time favorites, as you've probably seen them before in other drawings! 'Babyface Blue' are 6-year-old twin fish sisters Blue A and Blue Pink who are, indeed, perfectly capable of murder - and they're also Mayor Honey's daughters?? Blue A is the head of the duo and the quieter Blue Pink rarely shows her face, but has big glasses as well.

If they wanted a convincing disguise, maybe the coat shouldn't have four arms.

DON'T READ THE EPISODES UNTIL YOU'VE FINISHED THE FIRST BOOK!!

Logico lumbers back to the alley where one of his early cases took place. The beautiful graffiti he admired so much is gone, painted over. It feels so lame. He trips over a dead man.

LOGICO: Hello, dead man.

Suddenly, he’s conveniently surrounded by suspects! Blackstone, Silverton, Shadow (of course), and two kids in a four-armed coat that refer to themselves as ‘Babyface Blue’.

BLUE: We’re an adult! I’m… an adult! ME! (That one!) You’re not here! (Sorry…)

Very convincing. Blackstone is carrying a dead fish. Don't show that to the twins!!!

BLACKSTONE: No reason-

Logico spies Silverton in a dead car, admiring poison. 

SILVERTON: [red] YOU NEVER SAW ME HERE! I WANT BLOOD!! I WANT VENGEANCE!!!!

He can’t run away because he is a slug. The Blues are swinging around a scimitar and it slices one of their hands.

BLUE: (Owww!!) SORRY! WHOOPS- (*cry*) NOOO STOP-

The kids stumble over a fence and their disguise falls clean off.

BLUE: Uhh… I’m his daughters! 

Ignoring the shenanigans, Logico eventually finds Shadow crouching in a dumpster. He stares directly at the beast with courage.

LOGICO: Give it.

Shadow submits, and sheepishly hands a bloody shovel to Logico. 

LOGICO: Now get out here and feel SORRY for what you’ve done. 

Shadow slowly climbs out and sits, pouting. Irratino would be so proud of his short king, finally facing his fears. Logico accidentally snorts thinking about what his reaction would be. Shadow sniggers too. It suddenly laughs with a jarring chipmunk voice effect. They both do. Logico hasn't laughed since Irratino's death.

LOGICO: Wait, no. Who are you? TELL ME. SHADOW: I’m the person who is going to tell you where to find the secret of the ancient ruins: in the desert community of New Aegis. 

Shadow runs away again, and Logi has no choice but to follow.

The end!

To put size into comparison, Logico is the height of one of the twins.

SHORTGICO

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[ccfever]

why do people feel that cc is gonna get comfortable with the middy overnight? coming off senior year where she also didnt take/get any. she wanted her floater back so she got it during the break. doesnt mean she has this middy first mindset now. i guess i understand why people are saying they want her to take over when her teammates arent shooting the ball well. be a little selfish, not “disappear in the 4th” fine i get that. but in the whole 3 quarters i feel like her teammates were shooting well so she was feeding who was hot, it makes sense to me that shes not gonna give up on her teammates here. same thing people were saying at the beginning of the season like hello how was she gonna get her teammates to trust her if ms superstar ms new to the league goes fuck it when they missed every time, shes gonna keep passing - getting her teammates involved. which def helped her teammates and coaches buy into her. so now she has developed a little bit of a pass first mindset. plus with the fact that she hadnt been shooting well, prob in her head about it, i wouldnt be surprised. last night she passed up an open middy, she didnt notice, hesitant to shoot in the 4th, big whoop. she’ll get better and shes gonna have her time eventually where she feels like she can take over and its fine. i cant imagine where she takes more shots and more shots in the 4th while not in rhythm, not hot, bc her teammates arent shooting. maybe ppl just mean they want a balance of it, like at least she tried. idk (also ppl saying that oh she doesnt wanna be blamed for losses so she disappears in the 4th, okay dumb, but ms offensive load at iowa, blamed for losses at iowa, if thats the reason shes in her head about it, cant say that i care. seems like a coaching issue, she’ll get better )

i didn’t read the entire thing bc i have a headache but during that 4th quarter cc made all the right basketball plays except for that middy she gave up. so i’m not going to crucify her for that (now that i’m more level headed).

kelsey was literally chucking up shots and left us with like 9 straight possessions without scoring. and during the 4th quarter you can see caitlin asking for the ball but they refuse to swing it back to her. it’s like watching the early season fever.

so when caitlin gave up the ball late in the 4th when aliyah offered it i’m convinced it’s because she’s pissed af. she even mentioned in the postgame presser that the team’s offense in the 2nd half was stagnant and bad.

i do want to see her be more selfish and say fuck you to the entire roster and just call her own number. but she’s not like that and if she misses that’s on her. she’ll always want to do the right play that will guarantee them the win.

i need a coaching staff that will challenge her to take over late. that will put her in the position to succeed at that. because they never run her plays. and i’m sure christie sides dgaf that caitlin’s being passive. she keeps using cait as a decoy in her late game plays and it pisses me the fuck off. i hate this team rn man. i still want them to get rid if the geriatric gm and braindead coach. it’s getting fucking annoying

[avemstella]

so that archon quest, huh. Would be absolutely thrilled to hear what u have to say about fontaine act V :] i love all your takes on furina & neuvillette & fontaine as a whole, and of course childe [pretty much an honorary fontanian with how he unintentionally got wrapped up in everything whoops]

Oh boy, I have so many thoughts. To start with some non-spoilerly stuff: I loved it so much. I'm not sure if I'll say it's my favorite Archon Quest yet (I think I would have to go through some of the older ones), but I think it's safe to say Fontaine overall as an arc is my favorite. Even its weakest part (the prison stuff, tbh it was a pacing issue) was still really solid and the ending, while not perfect, really landed. Genshin continued the trend from Sumeru of having the playable characters really take the stage and god there were some great standouts (Navia/Neuvi/Furina to name my favs, but I also loved my fatui and there really isn't anyone I've disliked). And well, the quest (and Furina's chara quest) made me cry like a baby, so that's a win.

Tbh, I think my biggest issue, wasn't even really an issue with the story but just a case of I had a very clear idea of what I wanted out of it (the woes of writing speculative fic pfft) and when it wasn't that I'm like "awww darn". Thats on me, and I genuinely really loved what we got, but it do be like that sometimes haha.

Spoilers below, oh boy (also my Furina fic spoilers too lol).

Eldritch abomination Furina I'll mourn u forever. I can't complain because Furina splitting herself in two to go fuck u to the heavens is such a boss ass move I can't haha. Okay, but I will say, even if I'm probably the only one, I do wish they brought some Remuria stuff up in the main quest. They had the perfect set up with Ajax being there with his Greek myth references and just ahhhh, one can hope they do something with it later. But yes, just know it's my silly headcanon that Focalors just lied about being an Oceanid to Neuvi and is one of King Remus's fucked up Primordial Sea experiments that maybe caused the Abyss rift at the fall of Remuria.

But yes, Furina, Furina, I'm crying. She really destroyed the girl failure accusations in the most glorious way possible. She literally didn't fail once (either of her), she plotted out a plan to trick the heavens, give back what was stolen, and save her people and she did it perfectly. As you're probably well aware, I'm a big fuck u Celestia gal, so it was just so satisfying to see her just obliterate the throne (even when I was crying haha). And honestly, super relevant to the state of the real world, but her giving back sovereignty to Neuvi in my mind is a very clear decolonization metaphor. Ages past descenders came to Teyvat, killed the dragons and created their own order, and now Focalors is returning that power back to said dragon (or well, the dragon's heir, it's a bit vague if Neuvi's literally the old dragon's soul reincarnated or just the body).

The entire scene between Neuvi and Focalors was great, though I will admit I have one issue with it (and even then I go back and forth on it haha). Neuvi in that scene doesn't have a big attachment to Focalors. What I mean is that ultimately Neuvi only ever knew Furina (which side note I'll get into this next, but I do view them as the same person, but still), and with Focalors' 'death' he's not technically losing anything, the person he's sad over will still be there. Like don't get me wrong, he's very empathetic and can be sad over this person who is dying for them, but I feel like it could have been even more heartbreaking if he had met Furina/Focalors before the split, or he had interacted with Focalors somehow in the past, and so in this moment he wasn't just watching Furina's sacrifice, but the sacrifice of someone he shares memories with. But that's me being picky haha and not really a critique on the writing.

But yes, Furina! Focalors! As I previewed before, I'm going to come out swinging with a possibly hot take. They are, and always were the same person. Yes, Focalors is the divinity, but as we see after Furina is allowed to rest her persona, Furina is also super mature and knowledgeable. In Neuvi's flashback quotes of Furina, it's her softly giving important advice about living with humanity, which is what Focalors was all about. And much like Furina, Focalors loves preforming, she loves humans, she gets all excited about Furina and her future, and is sad she won't get to experience it.

Not to remotely downplay Furina's suffering (because holy shit my poor girl), but Focalors too played her role. Unlike Furina who had Neuvillette and all her friends post this, Focalors was all alone in the Oratrice, waiting for the day she had to kill herself. Furina, has the promise of a future, despite all the suffering she endured to get there. She gets the reward of a happy life as a human surrounded by people who love her, and while it was touch a go for a bit, she was told one day her play would end. In contrast, while Focalors didn't have the same anxiety that Furina had, Focalors knew from the beginning she would never get to see her people saved. Technically she, like Furina, didn't even know if it would even happen. She put her faith in Neuvillette to follow through, and while she had the utmost faith in him, she could never know for certain. But much like her mirror Furina, Focalors weighed her suffering over the people of Fontaine's, and never once faltered. Furina was willing to possibly kill herself via primordial seawater in order to keep up her ruse, whose to say Focalors wasn't the same. Smiling at Neuvillette until the last moment because she couldn't risk him interfering, hiding away her anxieties and sorrow, so he wouldn't look so sad. Furina's performance ended, Focalors' never will.

Focalors was so certain she couldn't be human, but as we see from the Oceanids it was totally possible. And even more vitally, we see from the other Archons it's possible. They might fumble around a bit (some more than others, looking at u Ei), but they are learning and immersing themselves with their people. While not an Archon, it's the same with Neuvillette. Focalors should have had the same opportunities as Furina and the rest (mostly because she is Furina), but the world isn't kind, and that's why her sacrifice hurts.

If u can't tell I have a lot of feelings about Focalors/Furina and while I can appreciate a joke about Focalors giving Furina anxiety, I'm also like, they are literally the same person working together, she deserves the world (all of her).

But yes, I can go on and on about Furina, but for now I'll move onto our boy Childe. To get it out of the way, a little disappointed that we really got no answers about him. Poor guy didn't really have any lines. Also, not big on Skirk's design, mostly the outfit. Putting her next to Dain and uh, yeah (like don't get me wrong don't mind the color scheme and all, but could she not have gotten some kind of armor. Or look more like Foul Legacy or something idk).

But onto more happier notes, I'm so happy to see Childe finally getting to do well in a fight. I know it's a meme for him to get beaten up, but my dude is the Vanguard, let him win sometimes (he doesn't technically win here, but he was fighting an eldritch whale monster for ages and helped save Fontaine, I'm giving it to him). And Skirk, while her design is mostly less to be desired, I'm winning on guessing her hair and eye color haha. Also, while I'll always love my version, I'm liking her personality so far. Her yeeting Childe, while I admit took me out a bit (I thought she threw him farther into the Abyss and was like, "uh guys, yall worried about my poor boy here???" and then was a bit baffled at them saying he was fine) was so fucking funny. It's cool to learn "Foul Legacy" refers to a literal person, and I found the fact that Skirk's relationship with Foul is basically the same as her relationship with Childe very amusing. And it seems she's Khaenri'ahn, maybe? Also, I thought she was listing off her master's other names at first, so when she said Gold I got super hyped that I guessed correctly about the narwhal being Rhine's in my fic, but then they were like nope pfft. I'll take it as a win.

Sidenote, Alice and Rhine where are yoooouuuuuu.

Ultimately, while I enjoyed the Childe and Skirk stuff, it really just feels like a set-up for later stuff. Which isn't really a problem, but I was hoping we'd get something a bit more concrete. Like, I thought we were going to get answers about the "it" that Skirk saw in him, and it would have to do with the Narwhal, but now it seems those were mostly unrelated??? While I did find baby Ajax accidentally waking up a big world eating monster up kind of hilarious, it did feel a little incidental, if that makes any sense. Like, Fontaine's doom was an accident and not the result of anyone's choices. But that might just be a me thing. (and the quest needed more Arle, where was she??? my not really based on anything theory is that whenever we get Furina (or maybe Nevui's) 2nd character quest, Arle will be the boss fight. A reverse of the normal final Harb boss fight during the Archon quest)

Okay, because I really don't want to end on a downer (as I said uptop, I genuinely adored this quest haha), here are some minor spoilers from the Narzissenkreuz Ordo quest that have me by a chokehold.

I wasn't ready for a sudden Ajax. What does this mean??????

And this one just makes me laugh. Whichever Ordo member wrote this, I vehemently disagree with u and am on Khaenri'ah's side with this one. I'd much rather have bread then some higher power nonsense. In my fic I tend to write Khaenri'ah more akin to a modern nation than a fantasy one, and its nice to see me vindicated pfft.

Other random notes, enjoyed that the Fatui weren't just cartoonishly evil in both the main and world quests. I like some nuance. I saw that Sandrone hint, that was fun. Though it makes me wonder when we'll get Columbina lore (especially because if the theory about Harbinger boss fight order based on the Constellation circle is true, she should be showing up soon. Though also I half think that order will break because if it doesn't, it means Sandrone will probably be the final Harb boss which is an odd choice.) As revealed on Furina's weapon, Egeria being around during Remuria raises so many questions around the timeline of events. Genshin pls tell me when the Archon war takes place in all this pls (if they tell us in some lore I haven't read yet, whoops). (also on egeria, I mourn my version but hey, she exists in my heart and in my fics pfft. I can't wait to write her in smfwtwd and venti fic, though she's getting a new name for confusion and better symbolsism)

the contrast between Neuvi and Furina after the quest is so funny and sad. Neuvi "Furina is the best, I want her to be happy". Furina, "Everyone hates me, Neuvillette most of all, I can never face him again." And the other Archons, they are all like Furina, wow u are so cool (which just highlights Neuvi's utter disdain for them other than Nahida haha).

And most vitally, Furina and Venti should be best friends. Musically inclined performers who definitely aren't plotting to overthrow the heavens. I think they are neat (they also both have Latin names!).

[aajjks]

NWO!JK

you’ll never forget that day…

“y/n…i-i like you. a lot” said your best friend whose eyes were filled with so much love and adoration for you. you felt so bad telling him no but you just didn’t feel the same. your friendship with jungkook means so much to you that if you did decide to take the risk it could ruin everything and that’s the last thing you want. you’re happy his eyes are set on mj because now…

“hmm maybe i should come. i did promise kai i’d watch him play” you say and tilt your head in a thinking position. “let me go put my stuff in my car. i’ll be there in a bit. see ya, kook”

kai…why does that name bother jungkook so much? it’s not like your other ex’s—no, they bothered him too but why is he so bothered by that? maybe it’s because of the feelings he still has for you that’s making him despise kai so much. your attention will be on someone that’s not him and it only makes his motivation to attend practice deteriorate with each minute.

🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️

“jungkook! over here!” yells eunwoo who runs up to his melancholy friend who isn’t too excited to be at football practice. “why the long face? did you ask mj out? she said no didn’t she? it’s okay man. there’s plenty fish in the sea”

but it’s not that and when both men see you and kai hugging it becomes clearer. his arms are firmly wrapped around your waist and he whispers something in your ear before he runs off. whatever he said put a big smile on your face and it only makes jungkook’s blood boil even more.

“hey guys. i didn’t miss practice, right?” asks kai. “no” responds eunwoo. “we’re still stretching. coach should be here in a few”

kai nods his head before running towards his other teammates that were stretching in the center of the field.

“seems like somebody’s jelly~” smirks eunwoo who shoves jungkook in a playful manner but jungkook isn’t laughing and he isn’t jealous either.

he’s pissed.

~🫧

“Shut the fuck up.” Jungkook groans, his eyes set on Kai.

You’re JUNGKOOKS BEST FRIEND, not Kai’s. What is so special about that guy anyway? He doesn’t see his appeal. Jungkook bites the inside of his cheek.

Jungkook will make sure that your eyes are on him and him only. “OKAY YOUNG MEN, gather around.” the guys gather around to resume the practice, “coach? Why don’t I practice my goal a little?” Jungkook suggests, his eyes still on Kai who is the goalkeeper for today, just for the sake of the practice.

Jungkook smirks when he gets the coaches permission. “Okay.” Jungkook steals a glance at you, you give him a thumbs up.

He feels even more motivated. But the rage and jealousy inside him is bubbling up. He needs to release it somehow.

Jungkook and Kai resume their positions. “GO JUNGKOOK!” Eunwoo cheers as Jungkook begins to take position again, his leg swinging fast as he kicks the football right into Kai’s direction.

His kick is high and powerful, Jungkook is sweating due to the adrenaline he feels in his body right now.

And the ball hits Kai right in the nuts.

All of the teammates gasp, Jungkook feels the burn in his heart satisfying a little. “Ow fuck.”

The coach and the boys rush to Kai’s aid.

“O-Oh whoops.. sorry Kai. Fuck man I’m so sorry.” Jungkook also rushes towards him. A look of pity in his eyes but the satisfaction of hitting him burning in his heart.

You wanted to focus on Kai right? Focus on him all you want now.

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

Good morning and happy new year Tumblrinas!

Okay, let's take stock of where we are...

I'm playing Baldur's Gate 3, it's pretty nice. Meant to romance Karlach out the gate but tripped and fell into Gale's lap, whoops. What can I say, the man's a soft touch and I'm into it. Gnome paladin was a great choice, I look hysterical with a greatsword. Just swing me like a catapult at that point.

Starting another save in Pokemon Violet on Switch, just for the lulz. Shouldn't take me too long to run through it. Probably got a craving from having played through around this time last year.

Trying maybe for a second masters. It sucks being in a job you're bored at, so thinking of switching industries. I should enroll in classes for Spring and Summer. I forgot how much work a degree is. But my first class went very well.

Trying very hard to get pregnant, well, my wife is anyway. Please, please let us baby. We'd like a baby. And then it will be my turn to become pregnant. Not, like, immediately, but soon. We'd like a few kids.

In the process of redoing my whole closet. I have a lot of old, worn out things, stuff that doesn't fit anymore, and I asked for gift cards for Christmas, so maybe I can put together a whole new wardrobe. New wardrobe, new me.

Did change my haircut, no more two block situation, now more of a traditional pixie cut. Looks kinda cute c: We'll see how that goes. I haven't had symmetrical hair in awhile. I'm so silver these days 8C

Cooking better all the time. Can't wait to see what new recipes I master this year. I attempted steak last year and it's gone pretty well! Wish lamb was more available in this country, I love lamb so much. I'd cook with it all the time if I could. I really want to make moussaka one of these days, it's so tasty and, I think, achievable.

Utterly haunted by the basil ice cream we had on my birthday though. God. Fuck. It sounds odd but it was... rewrote my brain.

Maybe we'll get to move soon! Now that we've paid for all that fucking sperm, we can save up to move into an actual house! How neat! The housing market here is garbage, big surprise, but I've found a few nice, newer houses closer to my current work that are in a pretty decent school district. I may be seduced.

And just think, then I could get a Costco membership 83 The only thing stopping me now is I have literally nowhere to put all the bulk items I'd be buying. But soon... soon, precious. My wife has never been to Costco, she does not know its cornucopia of treasures. Ugh, I can't wait!

Don't know what I'll write next. I've been toying with trying to do some original work, but I've realized that in my long years of fanfic, my character creation muscles have completely atrophied. How do you all just make little guys? Like, you have to believe in them and care about them, and I'm always 'It has red hair and green eyes... I don't even know what it likes yet!' And then I panic and give up. I just need more practice, I'm sure.

And I've started reading Homestuck.

Well, that's probably about enough to be going on with. Thanks for the listen!

[showfallfoodcourtemployee]

[Transcript Begin.]

[The video begins with two people running across a desolate parking lot. The camera shakes, never focusing on one target. Through the moving video, one individual is visible, the other holding the camera and sometimes showing their own footsteps. Heavy breathing is heard through the other small sounds such as clothes ruffling, footsteps, or accessories hitting against each other.]

Tom: Stupid brat all she had to do was listen.

[The video zooms in on the man, a cigarette lit in his hand, He soon releases a puff of smoke before the two individuals get closer.]

T: Can I help you two?

Madeline: Yeah, yeah! I have one question.

T: And what is that? I'm on break, so hurry up.

M: Yeah, so, why don’t you want your child to be happy?

T: Let me guess you know Mari… Let me tell you something. I want her to be happy, that's why I'm doing this.

M: You used ‘her,’ you do know your own child’s pronouns, don’t you?

T: Yes, she/her, the pronouns chosen for her at birth. Why don't you fuck off?

M: I’ll give you one last chance, mister.

T: Buzz off, you weirdo.

M: You asked for it.

[Madeline cracks her knuckles, then lands a punch straight into Tom’s face.]

T: YOU LITTLE!

[Tom attempts to punch back, but misses due to the pain.]

M: Crazy how you can’t hit a 17 year old. Come on, I have less experience than you!

T: SHUT UP YOU BRAT!

[Tom attempts to punch again, he hits the air.]

M: You’re all bark no bite are you? Try harder!

T: STUPID KID!

[Tom throws a third punch, He hits Madeline in the arm.]

M:You couldn’t aim a little higher?

[Tom tries to slap Madeline, he misses. Madeline then counters by kicking him in the stomach.]

[A crash is heard from behind as someone smashes in a window nearby, the person climbs in and falls to the floor with little to no grace.]

T: WHO JUST BROKE A WINDOW?

M: Getting robbed and beat up? Skill issue.

Edgar: I’m not here to fucking rob you, not like I would, this place is ass!

T: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?

E: Doesn’t matter, I have a crowbar, dickhead!

M: No but actually, who are you?

[Edgar lifts his left hand and opens his mouth to speak, but decides against it and just points at his hand instead.]

M: Oh! Hi Edgar!

T: So, your name is Edgar? Let me guess, another one of Mari's friends?

E: You could say that, yeah. Anyway, uh. Who’s winning?

T: DOESN'T MATTER!

[Tom attempts to punch Edgar, but he misses again.]

E: You’re really bad at punching people.

[Edgar swings his crowbar at Tom, it connects with his ribs, causing him to hunch over.]

T: Damnit! y'know if you kill me… Mari won't have any parents.

M: They don’t need your good for nothing ass!

E: Also, isn’t it your fault they don’t have a mom? They mentioned that at the Denny’s.

T: That bitch was gonna let Mari live in her own stupidity. I had no choice!

M: All I'm hearing is Blah..Blah..Blah. No choice? What does that even mean?

E: There’s always a choice. You just didn’t want to consider the other one.

T: I WASN'T GONNA LOSE MY DAUGHTER TO SOME STUPID PERSON!

M: Damn.. Guess we have to kill you now! You had a chance.

T: She’s crazy, why would I let my daughter date someone who doesn't have enough brain cells to understand how not to get kidnapped, let alone that you can't change gender.

[Edgar laughs, and takes a step towards Tom.]

E: I’m getting real tired of hearing you talk, Tom.

T: Same here, jerk.

E: Just call me a bitch, dude, this isn’t a children’s show. I’m pretty sure I can handle it.

T: How about you go die with that sarah kid then you bitch, lord knows if Mari lost two people she cared about maybe she would finally come home.

E: Tom, Mari tried to throw themselves off a bridge after your little chat in the Denny’s. If they lost anyone else, you’d lose them forever.

T: Whoever stopped her should have let her jump. That brat is dead to me.

M: What the fuck is wrong with you.

E: Well, they’re dead to you, big whoop. Guess what? You’re just dead.

[Edgar swings the crowbar at Tom’s neck, there is a sickening crack! As Tom’s neck snaps, and he falls limp to the floor.]

M: Oh shit..

E: Oops. Uh, okay, what now…

Olive: Skill issue!

M: Let’s leave him bleeding out! Just like, clear evidence or something!!

E: I’ll put a few pieces of glass near him, maybe… Wait, put that rock next to him as well.

M: Alrighty then.

[Madeline places the rock next to Tom's head while giggling. They then pick up a couple of shards of glass and shove them into Tom’s neck, leaving some around the body as well.]

E: Now it looks like an accident. We should probably skedaddle.

M: You just killed someone and you say skedaddle? Corny ass..

E: Well, what other words am I supposed to use?

M: Leave? Get out? Anything other than skedaddle?

E: It sounds better.

M: Okay bro. I'm surprised you didn’t call me homeskillet yet.

E: I completely forgot about that… I still could, honestly.

M: Don’t.

[Edgar chuckles, hesitating before speaking again.]

E: Whatever you say, homeskillet!

[Madeline groans, and puts her hands onto her face, throwing her head back as well.]

E: Well. Um. We probably should leave before someone reports this.

M: Alright. We’re going to go get drinks.

E: I would say you’re too young for that, but I just killed someone, so it would be a bit hypocritical to tell you that underaged drinking is against the law.

M: Exactly, alright, let’s head out. For real this time.

E: Alright, see you later. I guess.

M: See ya!

[Transcript end.]

[hyperbolicreverie]

For the fic ask meme: 1, 4, 39 and 49? :D

What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)

Hmm. I would have to go with either Lost in Translation, because it's a good snapshot of both my tendency to write languages as well as the way I often structure fics, or Territorial Disputes (Gifts, Unexpected) because it's a good blend of how I do humor, character interactions, and more serious moments. Not the funniest or the most gut-punching moments I've written, but a decent sampler.

What detail in [insert fic] are you really proud of?

Since you didn't give me a fic for this ask, I'm going to go with how Sentinel came out. It's the only time I've written second-person, and it worked so well for a character study for Rayleigh. It doesn't get a lot of attention, but it's still one of my favorite pieces. 39. Is any aspect of your writing process inspired by other writers or people? If so, who?

If there is, I couldn't name them. It's very likely, though, as I am a sponge when it comes to things like that. I like more lyrical, descriptive styles of writing, and finding the right cadence to the words to make those descriptions sing, but I couldn't pin down where or when or why I started doing that.

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!

I am always working on multiple things, because I can't just ever have one WIP, much to my dismay sometimes. I've got a timeswap fic in the works, and a couple more character-based pieces, and I definitely haven't run out of ideas for my Seas AU yet. But right now, the big thing is a highly-indulgent changeling/fae AU, because I thought devil fruits sounded an awful lot like a fae bargain and the thoughts just spiraled from there. It's the first time I've written anything of this length or with chapters, and I am both terribly excited and terrified of it. It's my NaNo project, and it's 50.5k words and climbing with no end in sight, so...help.

A snippet, in Luffy's POV, chosen because I love these idiots:

Torao looks more tired than normal, wrapped up in a really soft looking hoodie and jeans, his normal hat nowhere to be found and his hair sticking up in every direction. He would laugh, except he still needs to talk to Torao, and that will probably go easier if he’s not mad at Luffy specifically.

He still looks pretty funny, though.

“Hey, Law,” Ace says cheerfully. “Wow, you. You just got home from work, didn’t you?” Torao just stares at him, unblinkingly. “Well, sorry to bother you, but we found someone in need of your assistance on the way over, and…” He gestures at the redhead and his friend, pointedly nodding at the places where he was bleeding from several deep cuts. “So, uh. Yeah.” He scrambles at his pocket, pulling out Sanji’s slightly squished rice balls. “Sanji sent these over for you.”

Torao looks Kid up and down silently. And then, without saying anything, he extremely deliberately slams the door in their face.

Ace sighs. Luffy cracks up laughing.

“Well, fuck you too, Trafalgar!” Kid yells, banging on the door. “Open the door before I break it down and use it to whoop your skinny ass!”

Torao does not open the door.

“Maybe,” the masked guy says, in a tone of voice that reminds Luffy of when Nami is really, really done with him, “maybe we don’t antagonize the only doctor willing to treat you, Kid.”

“He’s fucking insufferable, Killer, I’m going to…”

Abruptly the door swings open again, and Torao is standing there again, looking just the same as before, except with the addition of a large mug of something steaming hot. Abruptly the commotion on the front step stops.

“Sorry,” he says, in a tone of voice that is not sorry at all, taking a big sip of his drink. “I just needed something stronger before I was ready to deal with your bullshit.” He blinks slowly. “Now get in here before you make the neighbors suspicious. And don’t bleed on my carpet.” Looking at Ace, he grabs the rice balls, and without a word turns to walk back into the house.

[littleliteraturersj]

Freddy Gives Baby His Bottle. (Freddy & Chucky HoH:DC excerpt)

-Chucky climbed his way back atop his seat next to Freddy’s. Once comfortably seated, he tilted the bottle his way and asked; “Y’mind?” Freddy stopped tilting his stool back and forth to cut him an uninterested side-eye; “What?” The doll fought not to roll his eyes. He waved the bottle side to side; “Y’mind doin’ me a solid by poppin’ the cap off?”

The dream demon sneered; “Whaddya think I am? A bottle opener?”

“C’moon. Don’t act like you don’t use that glove of yours for anythin’ else.”

Freddy rasped out a laugh. Fixing the Lakeshore Strangler with a grin, he drew his knees in enough to uncross his legs. He retracted one from the top of the island to place a foot on the floor. Setting one striped elbow down on top of the lowered leg, he leaned towards Chucky with his glove.

“This,” Freddy stretched the finger-blades wide, turning his metallic hand this way and that. He stared at him through the slants of the knives, various shines of the kitchen light ghosting over them. “Is a multi-purpose tool.”

The doll's eyes bounced between the bacon and his glove, mildly unimpressed; “Yeah? So’s a Swiss Army Knife. Big whoop. Besides, you just proved my point, dickhead. Multi-purpose tool, you gonna open it or not?” Again he waved the bottle for emphasis. Freddy gave him a short-lived glower; Short-lived because it was quickly replaced with a smug purse of lips; "Sure. What're friends for?" Before the joke could be made, Chucky ushered it aside with a closer slant of the beverage in his hand; "Yeah, yeah, hidey-ho. Help me out."

Refusing to ruin what he had in mind, Freddy let his glove approach the top of the offered bottle. With the plaything's eyes glued to the cap in anticipation of the beverage underneath, the doll had no way of seeing what was coming. Chucky wet his lips while the blades drew closer.

Too bad he wasn’t going to get any.

Instead the glove quickly snatched the drink away from the doll entirely.

“Hey!” Freddy gave him a shit-eating grin as he switched the beer from his right hand to his left. Without looking at what he was doing, he watched Chucky’s reaction as he began to vigorously shake the bottle. Small hands batted at his gloved arm; “Hey, hey, the fuck you doin’! You’re wastin’ it! Give it back, dick!” This only encouraged the bastard to shake it some more.

Chucky groaned and threw his hands. So much for that.

Even through the brown of the glass, the head of foam could be seen just waiting to escape once opened. And after admiring his handiwork, the red and green asshole did just that. He popped the cap off with an index blade, bringing forth a spew of foam and liquid from the mouth of the bottle. The mess spilled over the lip of the top, staining and drenching his scarred hand and sweater sleeve in rivulets. The sight of the wasted brew had Chucky grimacing; “You’re such a fuckin’ asshole, you know that? I hope you know that.”

Freddy snickered and extended the ruined drink his way while it proceeded to foam. With a dramatic side to side swing of his hatted head, he said; “Ooh, poor wittle baby couldn’t open his bottle, so Freddy opened it for him. You wanted me to open it for ya, so I did,” The hand holding the drink hostage obnoxiously pressed closer to the Good Guy’s personal bubble; “Here you goo.”

The doll swiped the offer away; "Fuck off.” Chucky turned away from him, disgusted and dissatisfied. He had been hoping that the alcohol would hold him over until Jennifer could come to her senses and get some real food cooking, but that was becoming less and less likely to happen the longer the night stretched on.

Freddy Krueger shrugged; “More for me.” He knocked back the drink greedily, causing the grumpy doll to momentarily wonder how the hat managed to stay stuck to his bald, seared head. He reasoned it had a lot less to do with the bastardization of gravity, and a Hell of a lot more to do with his greasy, boiler-smelling skin. Making a show of enjoying the ruined product, Freddy was sure to savor the spilt remains that lingered on the skin of his hand by licking and sucking at it with his tongue; Like a horrifically burned cat licking at the back of its paw.

Disgusting fuck. If tonight got any worse, Chucky was gonna have to call it and get some shut-eye. He wasn’t happy at the thought of going to bed on an empty stomach, but it had to be better than spending the rest of the night with this unlikable prick. Krueger always knew how to get on his nerves. The guy had a special talent for pissin’ him and everyone else around off. Seriously, sometimes he was tempted to take mental notes because the guy did ‘bastard’ so well, and who else to learn from if not the master?-

[mercy-misrule]

Mando with the dark saber is so funny. Just out here hacking and slashing, no grace or acrobatics, just big ol meaty swings.

Also having the beskar spear and the saber...my man walking around with priceless artifacts and using them to give people a little poke.

It's so funny to me that Din has the same reaction that Gideon has when she meets the other houses. Like, whoops shit, I was in a cult??? This isn't normal? The fuck?

[papercutsunset]

Hi parchment

Please describe your current wip (you decide what that means) in bullet points. They can get out of hand, that's fine.

more like... p-arby-ment (it wasn't funny, let's move on)

im typing something for kay gets cursed, so let's uh. yeah. that's the one

mix between monster hunting, fairy tale shit, and memory fuckery. also spiders

kay's a goth autopsy technician working in the basement of lake wonder's hospital and living with her mechanic gf mikey above the garage.

"swing" by taking back sunday

makes sense to me (it's romantic somehow. don't ask)(they're both fucked up. it's canon that they [redacted] and then went on a date after)

one catch: kay's got a shitty-ass curse that makes her eat living people when it can (WHOOPS)

so she goes and talks to a witch

it's christmas! you're gonna talk to a witch!

(it's actually early december. the point still stands)

whoops, now you're More Cursed

"i don't wanna be me" by type o negative

what's this? denny's also here

listen, it makes sense. we need someone familiar with this kind of thing, but it has to be denny

"pork and beans" by weezer

tiff's too smart to be here. sorry.

she's still there, though. kinda. they call her. she turns into a frog. normal shit.

("everything is going great" by tiny stills)

ok tiff is done now (lying)(you'll see her later)(she's in florida. don't worry about it.)

anyway, denny is still kinda feeling weird about what happened at the end of TGE when she bit through chip winger's neck while she and eddy were falling out a window (tiff's the one who asked her to be there anyway, whatever)

so denny gets dragged into it because she helps kay free her bicycle from these weird thorns around the tires

turns out they're both stuck in the woods. WHOOPS AGAIN

you know that relatable moment when an ax won't leave you alone so you call your best friend who you're kinda-sorta in love with so she can give you a ride, and then you have to send her away because her jacket turns red? #believewomeniguess??

"spellbound" by lacuna coil

instead, they call tiff, who is at a wendy's, and she theorizes about fairy tales. and then denny's phone dies, so they go to denny's grandpa's shitass cabin she's still trying to fix to wait out the snow

and then. you know. they wake up in an entirely different world in entirely different clothes and entirely different roles.

"fractured fairytale" by blackbriar

what do you do? you start in a fucking tavern

so kay yells at denny in an alleyway

imagine a, what

how tall is kay?

i don't remember. she's like 5'3 or something. i would have to check my notes (whatever)

imagine a tiny goth girl pinning a woman a foot taller than her to a wall out of anger and panic because they're in some WEIRD FAIRY TALE WORLD

anyway they slowly learn this is a completely different version of events than what they're used to. kay is analagous to this lost princess of the fallen, cursed kingdom they're in, and denny is analagous to the daughter of a local monster hunter who uh... killed his daughter... whoops again? ("big bad wolf" by in this moment)

none of this is spoiler territory btw. it's central to the conceit.

so they slowly start trying to fix this, because they figure that freeing this land from its curse will get them back to lake wonder (where they neeeeeed to be actually)

that takes them out to the woods, where they run into spiders and monsters and shit

listen, it's cursed. it's all fucked up versions of things they're familiar with. is jumbo there? WHO KNOWS.

(duckie is. in what capacity, im not sure)

anyway shit goes weird in the woods. we're not going to get spoilery HERE. tldr is that denny feels weird about these beasts that are in the woods and kay eats a raw rabbit and also thinks she hears her dad everywhere

memory fuckery starts here, too.

you WILL think about your dad and you WILL like it (lying)

(dan roth sucked. david mcfadden is canonically mediocre.)(also kay gets a bow here. something something "hunting with your dad as bonding gone weird, not clickbait")

they get back to the town when the beasts refer to something worse than they are coming for them in the woods (something has been disturbed! WHOOPS AGAIN)

so they head back to town and look for a place to stay the night, meaning that kay looks for somewhere to stay the night and sends denny to the apothecary because SOMEONE (cough denny cough) won't stop getting HURT

healing fast means nothing if your wounds get infected, forehead

so denny goes to the apothecary

kay church scene.jpg

(kay sees some thematic stained glass. the cursed princess (alternate kay) and her prince (alternate mikey). the fallen wicked king (alt dan), the queen/the king (kay's mom and stepdad)("skeletons" by new years day)(don't ask how)

anyway denny goes to the apothecary. who's that? it's tiff. it's also not tiff. she's turning herself into a frog. WHOOPS AGAIN. she's interested in the described curses and she and denny go to track down kay (also they can stay with her tonight, who CARES)(irena's back. that's alternate jessie. she keeps touching denny's scars)

conflict at the chruch as the Thing finally catches up to them

and what's this? the town hates you? yeah, you fucking werewolf. DUH.

anyway more conflict, and more conflict, and more conflict. bittersweet ending. etc etc.

my neck hurts!!!!!!!!

my POINT being: a study of monstrosity and what it means to be monstrous through this lens of stories told and subverted, and also denny is an idiot,

END POST

"audrey, honey.." by sarah and the safe word

[tommiematthews]

Drama, But not really

1/12/22

Yes, it’s the lasty month of the fucking year and I couldn’t be more unhappy about it, or do I mean I am happy about it. Maybe I need a symbolic tick of a numerical clock to help restart my life or maybe I just need all this gift giving to be over, so I can continue pretending to change my life. Where does the time go, well I know that it goes and stay gone, the only thing left are the memories and stinky farts. I had to make that a little bit silly, because it was being too nostalgic and nice. I hurt my back at the gym a few days ago and working with it has not helped, it’s my fault to begin with for trying to get fit. Or maybe it’s my fault for hip swinging a kettle bell as though I was trying to fuck a low hovering dragon, either way my back is out and there’s another being left wholly unsatisfied, more fool me. I have been trying to look forward in my life and past a quick lottery win, I know, completely out of character, I must truly be ill. I'm thinking about continuing my education in order to gain a certificate in project management, there seems to be a fuckton of jobs and I’m a slut for a decent pay cheque. It appears that in my bachelor of communications (majoring in business communications and creative writing) that I don’t seem to fit the bill of the assistant project manager roles I have been applying for. So instead of looking harder, more tailored to my degree and accepting an entry level job, I’m going to be miserable again for another year… oh well. We are nearing Christmas and although I am beaming for a break, I don’t have the steak to enjoy myself in the way I want. Prawns, champagne and a dirty big yacht appears to be out of the cards, so I will continue wearing shirts with holes in them and runners with no laces to get by. I say that like I look like a person struggling, but like most people, I look like a normal person who is caked up beyond belief and hiding the reality. The reality is debt and no savings, living week to week, but the Brightside is, I still have a good paying job and things aren’t as tits up as I hoped them to be. I can’t help but feel like a sad sack, writing my words into you, but I guess a diary is where those feelings go. We have Meredith music festival in a week and although my crippled dog is still housebound and walking on three legs, the parents must party. It’s funny, how much I use to party, use to find money for the multiple pubs, clubs, drugs and plenty of the ole’ flavoured milk, but things have changed. I’ve been watching White Lotus, the show that seems to be the in right now, and I can’t help but wonder how little it stimulates and how much I lazily watch it more. Like anyone, I enjoy when a beautiful set of tits arrive on the big screen, but a lot of it is the mystery genre and a lot of begging temptation. The two main characters that I relate two in both seasons are clearly the hotel managers, watching a person who is meant to serve and be pilot, internally implode. I’m sure other people like the other characters, cheating on wives and jumping from states of drunken curiosity to drama with family. But I like the silent killers, the ones that are dying inside, the ones who should kill them all, but instead kill themselves and the normal life that they clearly barely hold onto. I guess its an addict thing, not in the lame addict for drama or addict for confronting others, fuck I guess that’s the same thing… whoops. All these shows, the popular ones, all are set in beautiful places with beautiful people that have lots of money. The perfect temptation and jealousy that we all want, if I was that rich, I would be left alone, drunk with the few people I love, while watching the world burn from afar, not be part of the burning world. Monique is home, so I am off, farewell reader, I hope to see you tomorrow.

OH and here's some tits, you are allowed to do this on this platform and these are some of the best.

[heavyhitterheaux]

It's Givin

First Lady of Private Garden Instagram AU

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, druski2funny, saweetie, dualipa, and 6,387,902 others

y/ninsta: it's givin boss bitch!

photo cred 📸: my boo urbanwyatt

jackharlow: GOT DAMN! My wife fine AS HELL 😍😍😍

y/ninsta: jackharlow stop it stink! 🙈🙈

jackharlow: y/ninsta lemme get between those thighs 😏😋

maggieharlow: jackharlow and do what exactly? 🤨

saweetie: jackharlow lmaooo tryna get fresh and your ass got caught! 🤣😂

jackharlow: maggieharlow look... you want a grandchild don't you!?!?

maggieharlow: jackharlow but I don't need to hear about how you made my grandchild either 🙄

urbanwyatt: jackharlow Maggie about to whoop that ass again 🤭🤭🤭

lilnasx: yasss sis! love it!

y/ninsta: lilnasx please tell me you're coming to Miami!! I miss you!!

saweetie: so we can witness you getting bent OVER A BALCONY with Jack fucking your brains out again?

y/ninsta: saweetie idk what you're talking about 🙃

lilnasx: y/ninsta yes the fuck you do

sza: even with the doors closed we could STILL hear yall

urbanwyatt: sounds like everyday life for me 😫

urbanwyatt: they be going at it morning, noon, and night 😭😭

jackharlow: do yall not see how gorgeous she is? And y/ninsta baby don't play with me because when we get there I'll make sure you remember

normani: look as long as yall don't put me in the room next to you idc

lilnasx: I vote urbanwyatt gets it. he's used to it anyway.

urbanwyatt: HEY!

dualipa: thanks for calling me to be in the video! love ya lots!

jackharlow: EXCUSE ME?!?! y/ninsta explain this. so she just be terrorizing me and you let her be in the video?!?

y/ninsta: jackharlow she’s a boss bitch babe! I only want the best and she’s one of them

dualipa: y/ninsta I’m better at something else too but you’re husband is such a hater and won’t let me have a taste

jackharlow: dualipa THE ONLY ONE TASTING ANYTHING ON Y/N IS ME

dualipa: jackharlow your days are numbered. mark my words. she’s going to get tired of looking at your big ass forehead one day 🙄

urbanwyatt: dualipa lmaooooo he do got a big head don’t he? 😂

druski2funny: thank goodness for the curly hair to cover it he got from maggieharlow 😂

jackharlow: dualipa imma kick your ass and urbanwyatt druski2funny NOT HELPING

dualipa: jackharlow if your kids get your big ass head R.I.P. Y/N’s vagina

y/insta: dualipa I said the same thing when I thought he got me pregnant that one time 😂

jackharlow: y/ninsta you don’t have a problem with my big head down below

y/ninsta: jackharlow sure don’t but dualipa has a point. imma schedule a c section because issa no for me dawg

jackharlow: y/ninsta seriously?!?!

y/ninsta: jackharlow love you smush 😘

jackharlow: y/ninsta if you love me so much let me at them thighs real quick 😍👀

y/ninsta: jackharlow gimme a massage first and I’ll think about it

jackharlow: y/ninsta I’ll give you one but... no clothes allowed 😉

saweetie: jackharlow watch it, you already got caught once by your momma

jackharlow: saweetie she’s caught us before when we were 17 😂

claybornharlow: I remember that! LMAOOOOO

urbanwyatt: yall were both grounded for 2 weeks but STILL snuck out and saw each other

sza: I need the full story! spill it!

saweetie: you two literally just fuck yall life away 😂🤣

jackharlow: my parents we’re supposed to be at this event and they came back early and I was deep in y/ninsta like about to cum and then BAM! door swings open 😂

lilnasx: why am I not surprised? yall be living life on the edge with yall sex stories 😂

normani: I know jackharlow was red as a tomato when it happened 🤣😂

y/ninsta: jackharlow of course your dumbass didn’t lock the door. too concerned about getting your dick wet 🙄

jackharlow: y/ninsta I was trying to hurry up before they got back!

y/ninsta: jackharlow locking a door takes two seconds!

jackharlow: OH and here’s the thing..... they closed the door and let us finish 😂

saweetie: jackharlow WHAT?!?! y/ninsta confirm this ma’am

theestallion: jackharlow y/ninsta yall are a HOT ASS MESS

y/ninsta: saweetie yes lol and then we got grounded for 2 weeks but we still saw each other lol

jackharlow: y/ninsta BABY! remember the time on our flight to Australia?

urbanwyatt: NO! WORSE FUCKING SHIT EVER. I HEARD EVERYTHING

y/ninsta: jackharlow ooh yes!! good times!! urbanwyatt stop being so dramatic

urbanwyatt: y/ninsta WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!? I did hear everything on that tiny ass plane! 

saweetie: I literally just knew yall were a part of the mile high club 🙄

dualipa: well I’m not soooo y/ninsta you wanna teach me a few things?

jackharlow: dualipa that’s it. considered yourself BLOCKED

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