#big scary bad skk

[yaolmao]

rahhhh dtiys forrrrr: @lotus-pear

Closeup:

[rayvven]

chuuya!! for the ask game

CHUUYA i was hoping i would be sent him

First Impression: oh this guy looks scary i hope dazai will be okay (little did i know akjsodnwosnsnak)

Impression now: he is a blorbo to me <3 i love him sm hes so full of personality my funky little mafia guy

Favorite moment: the part where dazai says he likes his shoes and hes like 😮 really ajsqkdoans poor guy. also i feel like i have to mention the part where he picked up a building and threw it at a dragon. like that happened.

Idea for a story: i am always always thinking about chuuya and his sense of humanity so i will try to turn that into a story at some point (i need to read stormbringer sooo bad)

different story idea but i also think alot about what happens in the missing part of his backstory (16-22) bc hes much more jaded and. darker?? than what we saw of teenage chuuya i would say so something definitely happened in that time frame but asagiri will probably write about that at some point

Unpopular Opinion: oh boy. well as much as i like skk in theory i dont think him and dazai care about each other that much in canon and i hate the fanon characterization of him being super emotional and kind of a doormat for dazai bc that is so not chuuya?? also he has his shit together more than almost any other character in canon, despite his batshit crazy backstory. also i hate when hes portrayed as this super good kind person when he is. very literally part of the mafia and enjoys it at that. (he has hes own weird morals hes very loyal to his people but he has nowhere near a normal persons morals why do people make him like this perfect person)

Favorite relationship: literally contradicting myself but. skk😂😂 i really like 15/mafia era skk

also kouyou i love that he calls her big sis its adorable (i know dazai calls her that too but with him its a bit mocking but chuuya seems to mean it more genuinely)

i could write so many more bc chuuyas character revolves alot around his relationships with others but it does say favorite so we'll leave it at that

Favorite headcanon: i love the headcanon that the reason he likes expensive wine and luxury items is bc of his time as a poor kid with the sheep so he indulges now that he has the means. also i love the headcanon that he enjoys reading poetry

[lovingnikiforov]

hi dessa i was really excited to see that you're writing where your loyalties lie but i wanted to ask why you wrote it on anon instead of under your username

Hmmm, there’s kind of a mixture of a few different reasons why and I can’t say I’ve ever tried to articulate them fully so this might be a mess. (Also it’s long, but you read my fic so you know that i can’t shut up).

My last fic, don’t you ever tame your demons, was the most challenging thing I’ve ever written. About the time I posted the big Dazai backstory flashback I was emotionally drained and it took a lot to push through and finish the story and I ended up not entirely happy with it. I feel like if I had abandoned my update schedule and given myself time to pause after each update I would’ve written it better, but I would’ve felt bad if I had gone ‘hey I know you all are used to me updating 2x a week and that’s what I said I’d do but now I’ll probably update once a month.’ On top of that, there’s always going to be people who would get really pushy for updates if I ended up doing it that way, so I just powered through.

When I finished it I honestly had no idea if I’d end up writing another chaptered fic for bsd (and I prefer writing chaptered fics to oneshots). I was drained and some behind-the-scenes drama had happened that made me feel wary of posting as ‘writingfromtheshadows’. Plus I realized that I was getting kind of well-known in the fandom and there was this wave of discourse going on about how ‘people should stop rec’ing/reading popular writers because they’re over-hyped and not that great’.

I actually just kind of stumbled on the idea for wyll when I did an ask game on here of give me an au and I’ll write some headcanons. Someone sent me ‘skk + arranged marriage’ and I basically wrote the premise for wyll and it just sat with me as something I wanted to write but not necessarily something I wanted to write as ‘writingfromtheshadows’. I felt like a lot of readers have certain expectations going into my stories and after the monster that dyetyd was I felt kind of pressured to write something better (and idk if I’ll ever write something as complex as that fic again).

Writing the first four chapters of wyll on anon made me happier than writing all of dyetyd off anon. I felt like I was earning each kudos because people had clicked on my story based entirely off the premise and not because my name was attached to it. I didn’t feel pressured to update when I wasn’t ready because no one could badger me for updates. I was experimenting with a few new writing mechanics and wasn’t worried about turning off or disappointing people.

Obviously there’s aspects of why I went on anon that are me blowing things out of proportion. I know there’s a lot of people who read my work because they have confidence in my writing skills. There’s tons of people who would’ve been really supportive if I had decided to drop my update schedules, and I appreciate them all. But writing stories and putting them out into the universe to be judged is always a scary thing so I just wanted to take a step back. Honestly, if I hadn’t seen several people speculating about me having written wyll it would likely have stayed on anon until it was finished.