#billy hargrove antis DO NOT REBLOG/INTERACT

[taintedcigs]

GETAWAY CAR — rockstar!e.m. x f!reader

CHAPTER SEVEN: SHE'S THUNDERSTORMS

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✦ summary: in which corroded coffin performs at the hideout (wc: 9.3k+)

✦ warnings — angst, ANGST, arguments, FINALLY SOME DESERVED FLUFF, jealousy, jealous!menace!eddie, the kiddos make an appearance!!!, uhmm kissing,,, eddie and p are an old married couple, drinking, smoking/weed, uhm thats it i think.

✦ pairings — rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader, past billy hargrove x fem!reader

✦ authors note — not proof-read i tried but i cant do it. pls ignore all mistakes. SO VERY SORRY FOR THE WAIT. hopefully this makes up for it. as usual the song is by arctic monkeys, and the other song mentioned is lover you should've come over by jeff buckley. but we'll pretend like its all by corroded coffin so shshsh.

anyway ily all pls interact + like + reblog to support me! i'd also LOVE LOVE to chat about anything abt this series it literally is my baby!! pls dont hesitate to send me an ask about anything mwah thank you for reading💗

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“Dude, I’m telling you it was not my fault.” Gareth exasperated desperately, hands up in the air in defeat.

But Eddie was quick to shake his head, “You drove her here, how is it not your fucking fault, Gareth?” He spat, bitter and angry. 

“She insisted! She wants to apologize to Pinky!”

“What?” Confusion etched across Eddie’s face. 

With an annoyed sigh, “Yeah, the whole fuckin’ world has to revolve around her,” Gareth muttered under his breath, knowing that saying anything about you would drive Eddie crazy. 

“Watch it,” Eddie warned, mouth downturned in disgust almost immediately. 

“What? It’s the truth.”

“Gareth, I’m not gonna tell you this a second fuckin’ time, okay? Don’t do that shit around me and never say one fucking word about her again, you got that?” He gritted through his teeth, his hand unintentionally clenching into a fist. 

“Jesus Christ.” 

“I mean it,” Eddie spat.

“Fine, fine!” Gareth threw his hands up in defeat, both of them downing their drink before scurrying away. 

Shit.

You knew you shouldn’t have been eavesdropping, but it wasn’t your fault. You were just trying to get a drink for the group, surfing through the sea of people—which was unusual for The Hideout. Still, you guessed the only celebrity from Hawkins was enough to have people swarming in, and Gareth and Eddie happened to be chatting right behind you. 

Even though it stung to hear Gareth talk of you like you were the fucking anti-christ, hearing Eddie defend you like that had that familiar warmth spread through your entire body. And you hated it, you hated the soft spot you’d always have for him, how it would take you back to five years ago when he would be there for you, every single time. 

Fucking great, you had so many people to avoid tonight; Chrissy, Gareth, and Eddie. 

With a sigh, you quickly disappeared into the crowd, carrying a tray of drinks for everyone. Plopping it on the booth with a slight sloosh. 

Everyone reached for it and you were quick to slap away Max, Lucas, and Dustin’s curious hands. “Oh, come on!” Max protested with a groan. 

“Not legal,” you hummed with a narrowed gaze. “Yeah, I’m sure you were legal when you were shotgunning beers and smoking joints like it was your lifeline during senior year,” Lucas mumbled under his breath, quick to get settled into his seat with a huff. 

You gasped dramatically, “Lucas Sinclair!” Exclaiming as he gave you a simple shrug. 

“So what’s new with you and Mr. Rockstar, now?” He teased, and you narrowed your gaze at Max who snickered underneath her hand. 

“Nothing,” You mumbled, shying away from everyone’s gaze on you. 

“Good thing, we can always ask the other party, too,” Dustin chimed in with a smirk, head pointing toward behind you. 

There was a slow tap on your shoulder and you were quick to jerk your body around. 

Of course.

Eddie. 

His soft gaze was dumbly addicting, that boyish grin curled deliciously on his lips while amber eyes took you in wholly. 

His gaze wandered to your figure, the midnight blue dress embracing your figure, accentuating your curves, its hem grazed against your mid-thigh, allowing him to get a glimpse of your sun-kissed legs, simple but exuding how breathtakingly pretty you were. 

He couldn’t place why your brows were so tightly pinched together, or why your arms were crossed against your chest, plump lips downturned with a pout. Still, you looked so pretty, so alluring that he could barely form any sentence. 

Mind captured entirely by you, almost feeling paralyzed while he took you in. 

“H—hey!” He stammered, awkwardly putting his hands in the back pocket of his chained black jeans. He was just him, and oh, god, you were you. 

Plush lips that curled into the prettiest smile, the most captivating eyes, even when you seemingly looked upset, brows pinched together, those glossy lips downturned, you were perfect. 

You ignored Eddie’s greeting, your piercing glare was still not that noticeable to him, all he could think about was how beautiful you looked, and how he was glad that he saw you before his set. He wanted nothing more than to see you watching him perform the songs he wrote all about you. 

“Wow… Uhh—you look… amazing,” He mumbled, breath getting hitched on his throat when he saw your unreadable expression. 

And all you could do was give him a tight-lipped smile. Almost immediately wiping that glow off of his face, face going momentarily blank. 

But he should’ve expected this, he knew you wouldn’t jump into his arms at any opportunity, he deserved this. He needed to do more, he needed to win you back. 

He opened his mouth to speak, desperate, needing your approval, but you interrupted. “I—I’m going to get a drink,” you mumbled, face flushed with heat, you didn’t know how to act either. 

Eddie glanced over at the tray of drinks on the booth, with his head tilted, “there’s a bunch of drinks over there,” he mumbled, he didn’t want you to leave. 

“I can see that, but I still want my own,” you sassed with a narrowed gaze, not letting him talk back once you left to go to the bar. 

Eddie watched your figure leave with a deep sigh, turning to the booth to take one of the drinks. “I really fucked up, didn’t I?”

“Yup,” Steve muttered with a nod, and Eddie was quick to give him a death glare. 

“So, will you finally enlighten us on what happened with you and Mrs. Grumpy over there?” Dustin huffed impatiently, grabbing three drinks from the tray now that you were gone, handing the other two to Max and Lucas with a grin.  

“She didn’t tell you guys?” 

“No! Which is a shame because she usually can’t say no to my adorable face.” Dustin blinked quickly, batting his eyelashes while Eddie shook his head at him with a chuckle. 

“Oh c’mon, Eddie, just tell us!” Max let out an impatient huff, her captivating icy blue gaze was pleading in a way that he could never say no to.

These doofuses would always be his weakness. 

“Yeah, Eddie, pretty please?” Lucas added exaggeratedly, mocking Max as she hit him in the chest playfully. 

“Fine, fine!” He sighed, running his hand over his forehead in frustration.  

“But nothing really happened and I don’t think it’s—” When he felt everyone’s gaze piercing through him, he was quick to shut up.  “Okay, okay!” He huffed.  

“She came to my trailer guns ablaze and then just slammed the note against my chest, calling me a coward, and then I told her off—”

“Wait what?” Max was quick to interrupt him, brows pinching together. 

“Yeah, I told her I wasn’t the one who left.”

“Uh, I’m sorry, didn’t you kiss Chrissy in front of her?” Max taunted.

“Yeah, and did you not bring her to Steve’s?” Dustin added. 

With a huff, he turned back to Steve. “Jesus, Harrington, did you gang up all of them against me?” He just gave Eddie a shrug. 

“That’s not even the point! Everything has just become too convoluted with us,” He spat, anger returning quicker than you intended to, while the rest of the gang sipped their drinks with an ‘oof’.

“It’s not convoluted, just tell her how you feel!” Max inquired, gently, almost like she was trying not to tip him off. 

“I—” He took a deep breath. I will. He wished to say, but saying it out loud felt too real. And you were right, he was a coward.

“I’m gonna properly apologize and make things right by her,” he muttered, taking a big sip from his drink. 

“You better hurry up, rockstar,” Steve taunted smugly, the weird face he pulled was making crinkles appear on Eddie’s forehead.

Eddie’s head cocked toward Steve, aggressively. “You better tell her how sorry you fucking are.”

With an all-knowing snort, Steve’s finger accusingly pointed towards something behind him. “Or someone else might swoop in.” 

“Fuck off, Harrington,” Eddie mumbled, rolling his eyes before he turned around with a huff. 

Oh, shit. 

Everyone’s gaze turned toward Steve’s accusatory finger, a slight ‘shit’ escaping from Robin’s lips which Nancy elbowed gently to shut her up. 

Eddie could barely move, his entire face feeling hot and jaw clenching involuntarily, jealousy shooting through him faster than the alcohol swimming in his system. 

Because there you stood, in front of the bar, with your head tilted sideways, a pretty grin sitting on your lips, mellow gaze looking up at the guy in front of you—dirty blonde, hair cut shorter than Eddie’s but almost as long as Steve’s, wearing the most expensive and tidy outfit Eddie had ever seen—making him feel stupid for choosing to wear those black chained jeans. 

His scowl was anything but pretty, brows furrowing in a way that made him look like a complex puzzle, eyeing the way this stranger was touching you. 

“Oh, isn’t that—” Robin spoke up, and the entire table shushed her because they also realized exactly who that was. 

James.

Your ex, not Billy, of course, the other douchebag before Billy. 

He really wasn’t much of a douchebag, a genuine, nice guy, and to make matters worse he was a total gentleman; attributes Eddie would never call a typical high school Jock. 

The relationship only ended because he went to college one too many states away, the distance getting between the two of you, but Eddie always referred to him as ‘the douchebag’ The jealous feeling sunk into his chest even then. 

Rich kid, a jock in high school, older than both of you, someone who had his life together. Everything that Eddie never was. Everything Eddie always wished to be.

But now, seeing you with him made something almost click in Eddie’s head, like he was meant for you as he suited you much better than Eddie ever would. 

He could treat you much better than Eddie would, sure Eddie had his name now, the riches he never had back in high school. But he was still just Eddie.

And he was certain James never kissed Chrissy, he’d never fuck up like Eddie did.

He watched the way your eyes lit up when he was animatedly talking, his gentle touch on your arm, the smile that curled on your lips. 

What if he asked for your number? What if he wanted to reconnect? What if you said yes? Just because Eddie had been a total fucking idiot and couldn’t see what was right in front of him? 

He tried so hard to push the idea of the two of you together back into his mind. To make sure it never left, to make sure it never manifested. 

But the way his jaw clenched and the deadly glare burning through both of you showed that he couldn’t. 

He was jealous, a type of jealousy that quickly translated into anger, one he could almost feel on his skin, hot and prickling rage stabbing into his body, agonizingly slow, making it harder for him to stay glued there and not do anything the more he eyed the hold James had on you. He was standing too close for Eddie’s liking. 

Usually, he’d let this feeling sink back into his mind, take a breather, smoke a couple of cigarettes, and then act like nothing was wrong for the rest of the night while he spent it sulking. Keep that rage caged in his chest, so he could keep his feelings contained. 

But he couldn’t do that this time, no. He wasn’t going to be stupid enough to let you slip through his fingers, not again. He was going to fight for you, he was going to show you that you belonged with him. 

No matter what Mr. Fancy Pants could offer to you, he needed to tell you how he really felt, he needed to make sure you knew. Because even if he could feel the insecurities jabbing into his brain, he always knew, deep down that there was something there between the two of you. Something always left undiscovered because both of you were cowards.

He couldn’t let that happen again, he wasn’t going to go down without a fight. 

“Oh, I get the appeal now,” Max murmured, breaking the silence between everyone, and earning a hard glare from Eddie. 

“What? He seems nice, has pretty hair, much better than Steve’s, and that outfit probably cost more than your wedding,” Max spoke bluntly, now earning more than just the hard glare of Eddie, mouth hung open Steve looked offended, Nancy and Jonathan narrowed their gaze, but Robin snickered behind her hand, almost giving Max her approval. 

“Max!” Lucas reacted before them and Max furrowed her brows, a smirk earning her way to her lips. “You’re still my number one Lucas, don’t worry,” She hummed, pinching Lucas’ cheek and ignoring Dustin’s groan.

“Dude, why would you do that?” Dustin whispered, eyeing Eddie worriedly while nudging Steve by his jacket. 

With a dramatic huff, Steve pulled his collar back, “Relax, I know what I’m doing.” 

Eddie’s fingertips absentmindedly traced the rim of the glass in front of him, his eyes never leaving the two of you when he downed the drink, slamming it back on the booth, making everyone flinch. 

“I’ll be right back,” Eddie muttered, a forced chuckle escaping his lips. 

“What are you even going to do?” Robin inquired, almost mocking.

A smirk landed on Eddie’s face. “I’m not going down without a fight, Buckley.” 

“Not this fucking time,” he hissed, almost all the brows of the gang raising at his determination.

“I’m gonna tell her how I feel, and I’m not letting another douchebag ruin this,” Eddie mumbled, and a dumb smirk was placed on everyone’s face almost too quickly.

He was going for it, and the soap opera was continuing, the gang watched in excitement.

“Was he ever really a doucheba—” Dustin’s worries were quick to die down when he threw him a deadly glare.

Without another word, he stormed off to the side of the bar. Quick, too fucking quickly that it almost gave him a whiplash. He didn’t know what had taken over him, eyes burning the back of their figures as everyone else at the table watched him with a proud look. 

But the child-like jealousy he felt within his body was uncontainable, it felt like his face was almost too hot to touch, he was desperate, quite literally. 

The tap on James’ shoulder was anything but gentle, making him turn to Eddie with his pair of brows furrowed, and Eddie’s muscles were quick to tense. 

His dark gaze only softened when he looked back at you, muscles relaxing, and creased brows returning to their normal form. 

The jealousy eased inside of him, not dissipating quite enough, but slowing with one gaze from you.

Back in the booth, with another sip from his drink, Lucas huffed, “Five bucks says they’ll confess by tonight.” 

Robin was quick to snort at him, “You’re trusting them too much, kid, Steve’s ‘little push’ might help them,” She mumbled with a roll of her eyes. “But Jesus fucking Christ, just look at her face, she’s going to go off at him. The most they’ll probably do is have another fight, get just a little bit close to talking about their feelings, and then do it all over again.”

Steve, ignoring Robin’s theories, exclaimed with a smirk. “Ten bucks that Pinky will sleep with Eddie tonight!”

“I second that,” Max said with a grin.

“Steve!” Nancy warned with a disapproving tut. 

“What?” He huffed. 

“They’re kids!”

“We’re nineteen!” Max groaned. 

“I turn twenty next month!” Dustin chimed in. 

“Still!”

“Fine, fine!” Steve sighed with a glare at Nancy, “Then ten bucks that they’ll kiss tonight!” 

“No fucking way.” Robin shook her head. 

“Nah, they’ll at least kiss tonight,” Jonathan said with crossed arms. 

“Are you guys seriously betting on our friends?” Nancy said with a furrowed brow. 

They all nodded vigorously, “Fine,” Nancy muttered. 

“Then I second Steve, ten bucks for them sle-kissing.” Nancy corrected herself, earning a wicked grin from Steve. 

“Come on!” Robin groaned, dissatisfied by Nancy’s answer. 

“I agree with Robin,” said Dustin with a shrug.

“Finally!” Robin exclaimed, hands rubbing together in victory. “Someone with common sense. There’s no way those idiots are going to do anything but fight, just watch her come back here, all fuming about how much she hates Eddie.”

They all shrugged, going back to continue watching the soap opera unravel in front of them. 

“James!” Eddie greeted with faux excitement, a grin playing on his lips, amber gaze remaining on you. With your brows creased, ‘What the fuck are you doing?’ you mouthed behind their awkward hug.

He shrugged, and his hands clutched James’ shoulder harshly, making him chuckle awkwardly. “Munson, the man of the hour!” He greeted him with a beaming smile.

He really was too nice for his own good, wasn’t he?

“I’d ask what you were up to, but it seems you’ve been doing just fine, rockstar,” James exclaimed, returning a friendly slap to Eddie on his shoulder—in a much nicer way than Eddie intended with his.

You smiled uncomfortably, your gaze still throwing daggers at Eddie, who was actively avoiding it. “I have to say that last album? Fucking Christ, had it playing over and over again for days.” He beamed again, much to both of your dismay.

That all-knowing smirk on Eddie’s face disappeared, the unexpected compliment seemed to make him uncomfortable, conflicting with the defensive walls he had put up.

“Uhh—thanks man,” he chuckled awkwardly, casting a quick, scrutinizing glance at you, catching the small smirk on your lips.

“What have you been up to?” He asked, curiously, desperate to know what the two of you were talking about, nervous to see if the two of you would do anything more than this.

The confidence in the way James held himself, his slicked hair, his fancy outfits up close, Eddie’s insecurities washed him over once again. Now with that part of his brain convincing him that the two of you would somehow end up together again.

“Oh, you know, I was just in town, got a nice job here, thought I’d stop by to see Corroded Coffin play, been seeing the posters everywhere—great marketing by the way,” He hummed, flashing Eddie a smile. 

And Eddie returned a forced one, lips pursed together in annoyance. “and then I thought I’d get a drink, but then I heard this familiar voice next to me, yelling to the guy next to her to fuck off for attempting to steal her drink, and I thought oh that’s Pinky.” Eddie couldn’t help but not keep his gaze on you, studying your features, almost gauging your reaction, trying to nitpick something to fuel his jealousy. 

“Been a long time, but I’d never miss this one’s sassy voice and that pretty face,” He mumbled with a sly smirk, making Eddie’s face scrunch and almost making him scoff out loudly. 

“Oh, stop it!” You mumbled with a smile, all flattered, and Eddie’s gaze narrowed, jealousy overtaking him again. 

“So you two are… reconnecting for the old times' sake, huh?” Eddie asked through gritted teeth and you rolled your eyes at him. 

“Eddie—”

With a smile, James turned to you, “I mean I’d love to grab a drink, are you free tomorrow?”

“Ah! I wish I could, but I need to help Nancy out with some wedding stuff.”

“How about next wee—”

“She’s busy,” Eddie interjected quickly. 

“Eddie!” You warned with your brows raised, heat rising to your cheeks, what the fuck was he doing? 

“Can I just—steal you away for a minute?” Eddie turned to you with his jealous gaze, hand gently having a hold on your arm. 

“Oh, sure, man!” 

“No!” You and James exclaimed in unison. 

James stared at the two of you with his brows furrowed, both of you breathing heavily, an intense gaze connecting the two of you. With a sigh, you followed him out of the crowd, an apologetic smile thrown toward James. 

“What the hell are you doing?” 

You scoffed, “Me? What the hell are you doing, Eddie?” You snapped, naze garrowing. 

“I’m not locking lips with James that’s for sure!”

“Jesus Christ I was not locking lips with—” You halted abruptly, the absurdity of the sentence hitting you like a wave. Taking a moment to breathe, “What are you a child?”

“Well, if pointing out the obvious means I’m a child then so fucking be it!” The words tumbled out of his mouth harshly, almost lost in the din of the bar. 

“The obvious? Do I need to remind you that you were the one who kissed Chrissy?” You accused sharply, your anger returning and cutting through Eddie’s jealousy like a knife. 

“Look, I—I’m genuinely sorry for that, Pinky, I am. I should’ve never done that, it was a mistake—” His voice strained, getting lost amidst the background clamor, their set was about to start and Eddie could careless. 

He took a step closer, but you didn’t budge. “You don’t kiss someone as a mistake, Eddie! You don’t invite them to brunch as a fucking mistake!” You snapped, tone a poignant mix of bitterness, jealousy, and an equal amount of hurt. Teary yet ablaze gaze bored into Eddie's, breaking his heart more and more. 

His shoulders sagged under the weight of your words, the realization of the irreparable damage sinking in. 

He took a step closer, a desperate attempt to bridge the emotional gap.“Will you just listen to me?” Eddie's plea hung in the air, the room seemingly shrinking as you and Eddie’s gaze connected. Your breaths mingled, heavy with unspoken words that pulsed between you. 

Only inches apart, and you couldn’t help it when your gaze drooped down to his lips, then back to his mellow eyes.

“Eddie, this is the fifth fucking time they’ve been calling you.” Gareth’s irritating voice snapped the conversation, loud enough to have you almost jump back, as you threw Gareth a daggering gaze. 

“Just fucking wait for a second,” Eddie spat, trying to dismiss him, but the moment was gone. 

And Gareth wasn’t having it. “No way, dude we go on in like five minutes,” He scoffed, momentarily dragging Eddie by his arm.  

“Fine, fine!” Eddie scowled, shaking off the hold.  

“You should uh— go.” 

“Let me explain,” He almost begged, desperate. 

But with another dismissal, you left. 

Eddie wanted to drop everything and run to you, apologize, tell you what he felt, but somehow, some way he was always managing to fuck up the things between the two of you, now. 

It was like he was fourteen again, his dad letting him know that he always managed to fuck up something good, that he was destined to the Munson name. Like he could never manage to do something right.

Wayne, Jonathan, Corroded Coffin, and Nancy all changed that belief. 

But, you? Oh, god, you made him believe that he was good, you pulled him out of that darkness, you were the first one to believe in him, you were the one who encouraged him. You made him feel like he was on the right path, always. 

And you were the one who mattered, if he didn’t have you believing that now, what else did he have? 

With a hand on his shoulder, Jeff was dragging him back, he stared at your figure leaving, and with a sigh, he headed backstage. 

-

Aurora was the fifth song they sang, and it should’ve gotten to you, the way his gaze didn’t leave yours, how vulnerable he sounded, the way he barely even made eye contact with the guitar he was supposed to be focusing on, that should’ve gotten to you. 

But it didn’t. 

Your glossy gaze and your crossed arms, as everyone else around you cheered for him, did nothing but upset you more and more. 

Everything was so confusing that you couldn’t even make sense of yourself anymore. Yes, you were mad about everything with Chrissy, but you also knew he didn’t know everything that transpired between you and her. 

Chrissy and Billy should’ve been enough for him to not want anything to do with her, yet you still believed him when he told you it was a mistake, that he would’ve never done it if he knew. And the pool… the things he said in the car. Hours ago when you went to his trailer.

Sure, he was sorry, and he said he’d prove himself to you. 

But none of you ever out loud said anything, it had always been a cowardice dance around your feelings, and you were afraid that if this dance ended, then it would be all too real. It would all be over.

A heave of breath exited your lips, attempting to drown away the worries, but they were spiked up the second the song ended and Eddie spoke up again. 

“This next song is for my friends over there, Nancy and Jonathan,” He exclaimed with a grin, finger excitedly pointing towards the two of them, it was the first time his gaze had left yours, involuntarily your head turned to your right. 

“They’re getting married this weekend, and were kind enough to let me and my dipshit friends play,” He said with a sheepish grin, and Nancy and Jonathan shyly smiled at him, waving him off in a dismissive way, 

“So this is for the soon-to-be newlywed couple, and for the special girl next to them, who’s mad at me for a lot of reasons, and she has every right to be, I was a total ass.” He earned chuckles and some cheering from the crowd, who unintentionally all faced you. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but hey, maybe this might help my case, huh?” He said with a grin, his gaze was dangerously addicting, full of promises, and you couldn’t help the way it made stupid butterflies appear in your stomach. 

It was so easy for him to get you like this, you were starting to feel pathetic. 

Speechless, and the heat quick to rise to your cheeks, you were trying to ignore the whispers and stares from the crowd, but it was basically impossible. 

The opening chords were enough to rattle your memory, the dreamy guitar riffs from Eddie sweeping in echoing the space as if it was just the two of you. 

You knew exactly which song he was playing. 

And the vocals, added with Eddie’s smooth, sultry voice were enough to have your heartbeat raising making you almost feel small, haziness overtaking your mind. 

And it only brought back one memory to your mind. 

FIVE YEARS AGO.

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA.

Another job interview, another opportunity you feel like you have missed.

It hadn’t been long since the two of you had arrived in Los Angeles, yet every passing minute felt like you had been wasting away your time, you needed a job, and no one in stupid LA was hiring you. 

A groan escaped your lips when you plopped yourself onto the couch, right next to Eddie who was way too into scribbling something into a notebook. 

Wait… was he using the…? 

“Is that… the notebook?” Your eyes lit up happily. It was such a small, stupid thing. 

But for you, it was important. That notebook was important. And you never actually thought he’d care about it, but it looked like he was carrying it in his back pocket. 

“Is that a crime?” Eddie sassed.

With a scoff, you narrowed your gaze. “No, doofus! I just didn’t think you’d actually use it.” 

Almost taken aback Eddie sat up straight on the couch, knees brushing against yours now. “Are you kidding? Half of this bad boy is filled with lyrics.”

“What is the other half made of?” You asked with a dangerous grin. 

“You’d have to kill me to find out.” Eddie enunciated dramatically, tone drooping lower to mimic mystery. 

“Oh, come on!” You huffed, curiosity getting the best of you. Scooting closer to him, you pouted. “Can’t you at least give me something?” You asked, all doe-eyed, tone sticky sweet, in a way that always got to Eddie. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” He groaned, almost melting into you, “You know I’ll give you anything if you ask that sweetly.”

You grinned happily, clapping your hands together in victory once he ripped up a page and handed it to you. 

“That is the chorus of a song I’m working on,” He mumbled, eyes nervously following you, waiting to read your reaction.

She's thunderstorms

Lying on her front, up against the wall

She's thunderstorms

Your eyes blinked quickly to process everything. It had been not too long since the both of you had come to L.A., Eddie was desperately trying to send the band’s best material to any label who was willing to sign them. 

And you had just gotten out of a horrible relationship, things had not been steady enough for the two of you to ever discuss anything about your feelings, always tip-toeing around it, but too scared to ever actually delve into it. 

Yet, you could tell this was about you, something about being described as thunderstorms stuck to your mind, maybe he somehow meant it as good. But all it reminded you of was destruction. And he wasn’t wrong. 

It was like everywhere you went, something horrible followed, exactly like a dark cloud looming over, waiting to strike anyone daring to be near you. 

Your hand flew to your mouth, teeth grazing through your nails anxiously. “Who’s this thunderstorm girl?” You asked, masking your nervousness with a brittle smile. 

He snatched the notebook back, ignoring your little huff. “Someone I went to school with,” He answered cooly and then leaned further into your face with a grin. “I was drivin’ around one day, then saw this girl’s car on the side of the road, to be nice I helped fix her car but then she became totally obsessed with me.” He recalled the first time he met you, animatedly.

“Oh, is that so?” 

“Yeah, didn’t leave me alone for years.”

With a narrowed gaze, “Asshole,” you bantered.

“That’s so weird,” He hummed with a smirk “That was her favorite nickname for me,” quipped Eddie and you stuck your tongue at him childishly. 

With a slight push on his elbow, he drew closer to you. “So… what did you think?” He coaxed nervously, you could tell it was important to him, yet being this close was making your mind spin. 

“I like it,” you muttered, unable to face his beautiful features when he was so close, and your mind spinning with the fact that Eddie thought of you as destructive, too.

“That’s it? You… just like it?”

“No that’s not it, it’s just—” With a sigh you snatched back the notebook from his hands. “It’s just… isn’t this bad?” 

“What?” His brows creased together in worry, “W-which one did you not like I can change it-” You shook your head, interrupting his anxious ramble.

“No! I love all of them! But describing… uh—this girl,” Tip-toeing around it, causing Eddie to smirk. “As thunderstorms? Isn’t that bad?” 

“No, not at all. It’s a metaphor.” He shook his head, explaining gently.

“She embodies the essence of thunderstorms—unpredictable and explosive. She has the power to create chaos and destruction, and on the surface that might sound bad, yet within that destruction she sparks a new life. You know, making it so much better,” He hummed, licking his lips.  

“And she also feels like a thunderstorm, intense and electrifying, shaking up your life, in the best way possible.”

“Oh. Wow,” You mumbled, gaze turning mellow with how well he explained everything, heart melting with how he saw you, not just from the surface, like he could peel the intricate layers of your existence, appreciating every part of it. 

“Uhh, then I love that actually,” you concluded with a smile, attempting to mask the fluttering in your stomach. Did he really see you in that way? 

Did he really see you as someone worth all of this? You tried to ignore the tears prickling in your eyes, begging to pour out, but you weren’t going to ruin this moment. 

You didn’t deserve him. In the slightest. He didn’t deserve to get caught up in your bullshit. You shouldn’t have dragged him here. You were being selfish, but, god, did it feel good. 

To finally feel safe, to finally have someone take care of you, to finally have someone you could rely on. After everything, didn’t you at least deserve to be a little selfish? 

But that feeling ate away at you, even though you shook it off for the moment, it was eventually going to return. And it did. 

“You do?” His brows raised in surprise, it made you want to fuck all and just grab his cheeks and kiss him, lips plush together until the two of you couldn’t breathe. 

But you couldn’t afford that, you couldn’t afford the feelings, nor could you afford the fallout. You couldn’t lose him. 

“Mhmm,” You answered with a broken smile, hoping he wouldn’t notice. He always did.  

“She sounds special.”

“She is,” Eddie agreed, eyeing you with a worried look. “Very, very special,” He repeated, he could tell something was off. 

But it was okay, because he was here for you now, and he wasn’t going to leave. 

NOW:

Suddenly the room felt suffocating. 

Eddie’s gaze on you felt mocking.

It was stupid, he had just dedicated the song to you, yet all your mind could focus on was everything bad that had happened. Ruining everything good that happened with him. 

How were you even going to be with him if you couldn’t even handle this?  

Fear, trust issues, being afraid of not knowing how things were going to go, if you would fuck this up too, then that was it for you. No one else could compare, and you knew that. 

Maybe if you just knew that the same went for Eddie, if you just could see that the five years you spent apart had been just as hell-ish for him if not more. The constant thoughts in his mind reminded him that he could never be over you, truly. Sure, it hurt less now, but the scar was still there, scabbing the second someone mentioned you. The realization of knowing no one could ever be you etched onto his skin. 

“Hey… you okay?” Steve’s concerned voice snapped you out of your thoughts, Eddie’s voice served as a background noise while his gaze was still stuck on you. 

“Y-yeah, I just—” You faltered, face growing numb and anxiety increasing when you suddenly needed some air. 

Too much, all of it was too much. 

Eddie could almost sense it, he grew worried at your frowny brows and your tear-streaked gaze. 

“I’ll be right back,” you mumbled, body jerking back scurrying out quickly when you ignored everyone calling out for your name. 

Eddie’s vocals almost halted, missing a few notes on the guitar before Gareth was quick to snap him back to it. 

His head cocked toward your direction, desperate, nearly begging to stop the show, but all of them shook their head quickly, and once Eddie turned back to see the look on Jonathan and Nancy’s face, he realized he couldn’t do this to them. 

This was his friends' wedding, and he owed this to them. When the song ended, he was quick to mouth to the others, “After the next song, we’re taking a break.” It wasn’t a request, it was final.

And frankly, the rest of them were too tired out to even argue with a hot-headed Eddie.

“So how is your plan working, dingus?” Robin jeered at Steve.

“Shut up.”

There were a couple more people outside, all leaning against the wall, chuckling while talking over each other loudly, the smoke of their lit cigarettes quick to take over your senses. 

With a cough, you leaned further away from them, mind still unraveling what had just happened. You didn’t even know what was happening anymore. 

You wanted to smoke, hand itched to reach for the pocket of your jacket and light one to take away your stress, but you could barely breathe as it was right now. 

A light tap on your shoulder snapped you away from your thoughts. 

Who was it now? 

You huffed loudly when your head cocked back.

Fucking great. 

Chrissy.

“Oh, Jesus Christ!” You pinched the bridge of your nose in annoyance, this just had to be your luck, your feet picked up quickly, hand quick to reach for the door and go back inside.

“Please, please don’t leave,” She pleaded.

Your hold on the door remained, barely glancing back at her, “Just leave me alone!” You snapped. 

“I just want to apologize, please, then I’ll leave you alone, forever.”

“Please, just five minutes.”

You shouldn’t, you really shouldn’t. 

Your hold on the door faltered, and with a deep sigh, you turned to her. “Fine.”

“Five minutes,” You warned, your patience already wearing thin.  

Her face lit up, blinking a few times to make sure she heard you correctly. “O-oh, okay, good,” She cleared her throat.

“First of all, I’m sorry, for everything, for what I said five years ago, for what I did with Billy, for using what he did to you like a fucking joke. For w-what I said about your parents.” She stammered.

“It’s too late, I know, I fucked up, I shouldn’t have done any of those things, you didn’t deserve it. You deserved a better friend, someone like you.” She almost looked at you like she was waiting for your approval, gauging your reaction, your expressionless face encouraged her to continue. 

“I was bitter, jealous. Which isn’t a fucking excuse, I know, I was just—” she took a deep breath. “You were everything I wanted to be, careless, had all the boys' attention, and you didn’t even have to try, you didn’t have to do anything, and they’d just fall at your feet. And I was stupid, bitter, and insecure enough to envy that.”

“That’s not my problem, Chrissy.” You spat out with your gaze narrowing, you couldn’t handle her pity party right now.

“And really, you wanted to be me? Chrissy I didn’t have parents, my boyfriend was a narcissistic asshole.I was broke.” You scoffed with an ironic chuckle, shaking your head in anger.

“I know, I know. It was stupid, and I was stupid, and you didn’t deserve any of that.” Sincerity. Something you haven’t seen from her in years.

“I just wanted to tell you that none of it was your fault.” Now your gaze narrowed, a chuckle rolling on your lips. 

You opened your mouth to speak, to protest. “No, I know you’re going to say you didn’t think that but I know you do. Even though you hate me, which I don’t blame you, I know you like the back of my hand, you blame yourself, you always did it. And I’m telling you shouldn’t because it was all my fault. A-and I shouldn’t have done whatever I did with Eddie, I practically took advantage of him like he did to me and then got mad at him, oh god, I’m such a fucking bitch, aren’t I?”

Your eyes blinked quickly to process all of it. Her apology didn’t mean anything, her words didn’t mean anything. But deep down, you knew she was right, even if you wouldn’t admit it. Because you spent many nights blaming yourself, for even opening up to them in the first place. 

“First of all, breathe,” you mumbled with annoyance.  

“Second of all, yes you are,” you huffed. 

“And, taking advantage? What do you mean?” 

“Some fucked up part of me wanted him because I knew you wanted him back then, a-and he was right there and he was being nice to me and—” Chrissy took a deep sigh, big blue eyes staring into you knowing that you were not going to like what she was going to say.

“I should’ve known.”

With puckered brows, you crossed your arms against your chest. “Known what?” 

“That he was still hung up on you,” she muttered.

You were quick to roll your eyes, “Chrissy—”

“No, no just listen.” But she wasn’t going to let you spiral.

“Look you were dumb enough then—” You threw her a glare, so daggeringly cold that she stopped.  

“Sorry,” she muttered before continuing, “Look, the two of you wasted a lot of time. And I know it’s funny hearing this from me because I took part in it, but I’m only saying this because he’s a nice guy, even though I don’t particularly like him right now, he’s a nice guy, and you deserve someone like him.” She enunciated, azure hues embodying such sympathy that had you taken aback.

“You loved him back then, too. I could see it, and I could see it in him, too. That’s what I always wanted, and maybe that’s why he intrigued me so much. But I knew he never got over you.” 

You could feel your heart skip a beat, it wasn’t anything new, but hearing this from her, it meant something. 

You needed to take control of your feelings, and hearing Chrissy’s words was doing nothing but fuel them more. “Chrissy stop—”

“No, Pinky! He told me! He told me it was you! It had always been you!” She exclaimed, her face growing a nice pink color as you stood frozen.

Your brain felt mushy, rest of your body felt so warm, but still that anger lingered. Why couldn’t he just tell you this? Why couldn’t he just show you?

“What?” You mumbled, brows pinched together.

“Yes!” She exclaimed, sighing at your reaction.

“Look, I just wanted to tell you this, and tell you to get your head out of your ass. I know I’m the last person you wanted to hear this from, but I had to at least make one thing right for you because I know I fucked up every other thing.”

You wanted to tell her to stay the fuck out of it, you wanted to tell her it was all because of her. That she basically ruined your life. But it wasn’t true. It wasn’t all her, it was Billy, too. It wasn’t all her, Eddie played a part in it, too. 

But you weren’t going to waste your breath, you didn’t need to blow up in her face for her to know she was wrong, she needed to let that feeling sink in. You weren’t going to forgive her, and you didn’t need to make a fuss about it to feel real. 

This was it. A closure. 

“I’m sorry, for everything. And I know that you won’t forgive me, but that’s okay. I’m sorry, but please listen to what I just said. Please don’t get in your head and try to ruin something this perfect, okay?”

A peaceful smile appeared on your lips, and you took a deep breath. “You’re right, I won’t forgive you.” You weren’t going to give her any satisfaction or approval, her words didn’t mean a thing. 

“Goodbye, Chrissy.” You mumbled. 

You could see her stammering, struggling to open her mouth, because she couldn’t say anything else, and this is what she promised, five minutes. It was over. 

You backed yourself against the wall, fingers fishing out the pack of cigarettes sitting in the pocket of your jacket. 

Without having anything else left to say, she left. And you heaved a sigh of breath, the tip of your cigarette smoldering when you lit it. 

You inhaled with eyes squeezed shut, head swirling with much to think about. But at least you were alone. Finally, some space for you to think, and to lay out a little bit of your stress with the most unhealthy outlet.  

And of course, that peace lasted for about a few minutes, just when you had finished your cigarette, squishing the remains on the nearest trashcan, Eddie appeared, lightly squeezing your arm to have your attention.

“What?” You snapped when you saw him, eyeing the way he looked taken aback. 

His hands held up in front of his chest in defeat, clearly not understanding your sudden rage. The laughter around you had died, people who were smoking outside the bar were clearly more entertained by your drama. 

With a huff, you dragged Eddie away from it all, still close to the bar but far away to not have any other distractions. 

He sighed, brows etched with worry. “Why did you leave?”

Your hand flew to your forehead, trying to calm your nerves, trying to clear your mind. “Eddie, are you kidding me?” You scoffed, arms wrapped across your chest defensively. “You can’t just drag me away from James, dedicate songs to me and—”

His forehead puckered. “Why not? They’re all about you anyway,” he said with a sly smirk. 

“Aurora, She’s Thunderstorms, Zero, Forget Her, Resolve, Fool, two fucking albums, all dedicated to you, you know that.”

“These notes? These stupid notes I’ve been carrying?” He huffed loudly, hand quick to fish inside of his back pocket, aggressively flipping through the pages. “Even if every nerve in my body were numb I’d still be able to feel her.” He turned the page toward you before flipping again. 

“I have tried to forget you but I can’t, you invade my dreams, my mind, my whole fucking life. You’re stuck in me and I don’t have the heart to get you out.” He shook his head, reciting it all like it was nothing, but you felt all of it. 

His notes making you dizzy. His words scrambling your mind like never before. 

“She’s the tear that hangs inside my soul forever. That one is uh—in a song, too,” he mumbled, cheeks flushing with how passionate he was getting, and you held your breath, it’s like you were staring into his soul. 

Stark naked. Laying bare, he really was doing this. And you didn’t want him to stop, even though your mouth suggested otherwise. 

“And so much more embarrassing stuff that I don’t want to include to not ruin my chances,” he muttered with a lazy smile, and you hated that you could feel it in your skin, the flutters, stomach flipping in the best possible way. 

“All fucking about you. Because it was you, from the moment we met.”

“S—stop,” your mouth betrayed you, it was the furthest thing from the truth, and you needed to hear more. You needed the reassurance, you needed him to convince you. More than anything in the world. 

But it was all so scary, and he was so close to you that you could feel his passion integrated into your veins. 

“Why, Pinky, why should I stop? Why do we have to tip-toe around each other, huh?” He was desperate, eyes flashing with a newfound of desire for you, he wasn’t going to let it go this time.

And it scared you, him being this determined, getting so close to what you actually felt was making your skin crawl, because the way you could feel your heart thumping against your ribcage wasn’t normal. What he was making you feel wasn’t normal. “Because w—we can’t!”

“We can’t what?” He complained, a deep sigh escaping his lips. 

“W—we can’t do this, you can’t—”

He shook his head with his brows puckered. “Who are you to decide that? I want to, I so badly want to,” He spat, taking a step closer to you, face merely inches away from you. 

His gaze was dangerously inviting, those alluring amber eyes melted into yours, making your pupils dilate, breath hitching as you struggled to keep him away. “Please, Eddie, d—don’t.”

You gulped, hand raising to put a space between the two of you, but it was impossible. He was in your veins now. “Too much has happened, you with Chrissy and—” You didn’t even know what you were blabbering about, just anything to stop your feelings from getting out. 

“Chrissy was a mistake!” He retorted with a hiss. He hated that you saw Chrissy as a problem between the two of you. Yes, he fucked up, but it really was a mistake, he’d take it all back in a heartbeat if he could. 

Your gaze narrowed, that pettiness returned when you scoffed. “Which time, when you kissed her or when you brought her to brunch?”

Eddie let out a bitter chuckle, shaking his head when he looked at you with a dumbfounded look. “Jesus fucking Christ…” He took a breather. “I can’t believe you’re doing that again,” he mumbled, realizing that it wasn’t going to be easy to get you out of this mindset. 

It was going to be hard, to convince you of anything, and he understood that, he had trust issues himself, but he wasn’t going to back down. This was it.

You crossed your arms against your chest, gaze avoiding him momentarily. “Doing what?” You muttered.

“You just— you get scared when things get serious, running away when it gets just even a little bit too real,” He scoffed, angling closer to you, fingers ruffling through his curls in frustration.

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah! You call me a coward and fucking look at you!” He snapped, hands gesturingly pointing to you.

“Scrambling just at the thought of us being together.” He argued, some part of him feeling a bit insecure, that maybe you didn’t want this. But, no, he saw that glint in your eyes, he knew the little angry twitch on your lips. You felt the same. And all you needed was a little push. 

You breathed, mind scrambled and trying so hard to convince yourself to leave. “T—that’s not it, you—uh you just don’t get it!” You complained with a huff. 

Another step closer. One more step and his lips would be on yours, Eddie knew this, you knew this. His gaze momentarily drooped down to your lips, then back to your dilated pupils. 

“Then make me understand, let me help you, don’t fucking run, not this time.” It was a little jab, but something needed to get you to spill, he was playing all the right cards and you were getting overwhelmed.

“J—just stop!”

“Why? Fucking why? Tell me one good fucking reason as to why we shouldn’t try it, we never even gave it a chance!” He ranted, veins in his forehead popping with how much he was trying to keep it all together. And you weren’t even trying. 

“We wouldn’t work, okay?” 

He shook his head. “Not good enough,” He argued. 

“W—we’re on two different paths now, Eddie.” You didn’t have any good excuses, he was right. 

“Not good enough.” Once again, that same arguing tone. 

You huffed. “Too much time passed and—”

“Not fucking good enough!” He cursed, hands landing on your shoulder to keep you in place, and your cheeks flushed immediately, while still trying to deny it. You were pathetic.

“Stop being a fucking coward!” He seethed, eyes fiery and red. 

Why were you insisting on being so fucking stubborn? You were driving him crazy, yet it wasn’t going to stop him. 

Coward is what had you scrambling. Because you knew he was right. “Fuck you,” You spat, body jerking quickly to leave, feet picking up quickly as Eddie groaned loudly.

So. Fucking. Stubborn. 

He was quick on his feet, letting curses slip past his lips before he yanked you to him, earning a small gasp from your lips before you finally faced him. 

Gaze mellow, but just as fiery, your furrowed brows and dilated pupils only encouraging him more and more. Flutters in your stomach had never left, your skin was burning, everywhere, but specifically on the hold he had on you. 

You didn’t manage to utter anything else, you couldn’t because he had you this time. There was no running away from it, your heart was hammering so hard inside of your chest that you were sure he could hear it. 

His hold on your arm was firm but somehow gentle, letting you know that he wasn’t going to let you go.

You opened your mouth, wanting to speak, but he interrupted, his hands now firmly cupping your cheeks, squishing you with force, and you couldn’t help the contended sigh that left your parted lips. “I’m not letting you run away, not this time,” He mumbled, words sounding like silk falling from his lips, all you could do was gaze into him. He stood inches away from you, breath fanning against your face.

He licked his lips desperately, gaze drooping to your candy-glossed, needy lips. Face so close that you could feel the desperation radiating off of him. And you shared it. You managed to take a quick breath before his hand fisted your hair and his mouth crashed down to yours.

He pressed you harder against his chest, breathless, your lips molded together, a perfect fit. And he could taste the Cosmopolitan on your tongue, a tinge of alcohol mixed with your sweetness, making his head spin, a taste he realized he’d never have enough of. 

Those little thumps your heart did were now out of control, possibly pounding a million beats a second. His small stubble scratched against your chin, rough, it should’ve made you uncomfortable yet all it did was make you kiss him harder, shutting up your brain as your mouth replied to him, kissing him back with just as much force, you melted into him, melted into his hold, and you let him engulf you, fully, completely. 

Plushy lips slightly parted apart, his tongue slipped past between your teeth, your hand finding its way to his hair, feeling the curly strands between your fingers, it’s softer than you expected and your lips parted to let out a slight whine as you tugged at them.

All those years of wishing, all those years of wanting, yearning, and needing exploded into this. Kissing like your lives depended on it, chests pressed against each other, Eddie’s hand slipping to your waist, desperately tugging you closer to him as if that was even possible. 

Your heart exploded into your chest, his tongue not wavering the chance to explore yours, sucking on it, greedily, desperately. 

The background noises disappeared, the cackles of the girls, the booming music coming from inside of the bar, and the honks from the busy street. They ceased to exist and it was just you and him. Feeling each other, completely, fully. 

You knew at some point one of you had to pull away, but none of you dared to, it was just pure desire, a hunger that couldn’t be sated. 

All the years spent yearning and pining, acting like two fucking idiots. 

He wanted to breathe you, drink you in, and he wasn’t intent on letting you go. Ever.

You from five minutes ago who wanted to refuse him, refuse this was an absolute fucking idiot. Gone. You tasted like the sweetest honey and he tasted like everything you wanted and more. It’s even needier than the first kiss, more sure, it’s like a promise. 

This is it. Both of you can feel it. This finally changes everything. 

final authors note — uhhhh so yeah... if yall wanna talk about that my asks r open LMAO.

[hellcheercaine]

Welcome to my safe space

Hi there tumblrs! 👋 I’m Caine.

Given the traction I have on my blog recently, I figured that I’d do a proper introduction to pin to my profile.

I used to be a Rogue and Gambit shipper before I left fandom culture, but Stranger Things pulled me in and this is where I found my spot here with the wonderful Hellcheers and Harringroves.

The golden rule of this space:

'Ship and let ship.’

I don't care if you follow me even when we like different ships, but if I see any ship bashing or anti comments/tags from you on my posts, you will be blocked.

Don’t like what you see here? Save your energy by tapping the block button. I am not responsible for your online fandom experience, and I am not here for petty arguments. Please keep your purity culture to yourself.

P.S: This space is not for minors. If you are a minor, this is your last chance to scroll away from this blog.

However, if you are a minor and you decide to follow my blog, it’ll be agreed that you, will acknowledge full responsibility of your own online fandom experience here.

P.P.S: Blank blogs do not interact, unless you have something (e.g. a pfp/post) to prove that you’re not a bot. Bot blogs will be blocked and I’m sure that you, would definitely wouldn’t want to be caught in this crossfire.

Are we good? Let’s move on to the good stuff.

This blog is a safe space for:

Hellcheer (Eddie Munson and Chrissy Cunningham),

Harringrove (Billy Hargrove and Steve Harrington),

Seyloy (Aloy and Seyka) shippers

This blog is also pro-Sylki and Wolfwren.

Memes, text posts, moodboards, prompts and sometimes ficlets will be written for these three. Got a question/request? Ask me.

ST + Text posts:

Looking for some wholesome Hellcheer text posts? They're here.

Chrissy Cunningham posts can be found under the tag Strawberry Shortcake Chrissy Cunningham.

Eddie Munson? They can be found under the tag Almond Tallcake Eddie Munson.

Want some Harringrove? They can be found under the tag harringrove texts.

Do you just want the ones with just Billy Hargrove? They can be found under the tag Walking Fruit Salad Billy Hargrove.

Or the ones with just Steve Harrington? They can be found under the tag Goody Two Shoes Steve Harrington.

Gothbasket (Jason Carver + Eden Bingham) can be found under the tag gothbasket texts, while Munver (Jason Carver + Eddie Munson) the tag munver texts.

Horizon + Text posts:

Are you looking for Seyloy posts? Look here.

Aloy’s text posts can be found under the tag Aloy Despite the OSHA Violation.

Wait, what about just the ones with Seyka? They can be found under the tag Seyka Despite the HR Violation.

Aloy and Talanah text posts can be found here.

Text posts from other characters can be found here.

Other stuff:

🎸📣 Hellcheer Playlist

🍦🚬 Harringrove Mixtape

☁️🌊 Her Sky, Her Sea (Seyloy Playlist)

💭 📣 Chrissy Cunningham (a dreamer’s playlist)

Other fandom text posts:

Wolfwren (Star Wars Ahsoka)

Sylki (Loki)

Masterlist coming soon. In the meantime, you can read some of my works and OTPs here.

Tracking: #hellcheercaine

Other ships from other fandoms (e.g X-Men, Naruto, The Bear, Adventure Time) and mental health related content will be blogged/reblogged once in a while.

Some house rules:

- No reposting (if you decide to use my moodboards, ficlets, text posts or prompts for your work, please give credit where it’s due unless it’s cleared by me). If you’re not sure, please ask.

- racism, sexism, ableist, terf or any anti lgbtqia beliefs is not welcome here. You'll be blocked if you’re found making such comment on my posts.

- No religious or political discussions here.

Ship analysis, character analysis and discussion is welcome, but outright hating a ship or character will not be tolerated. Please refer to the aforementioned golden rule if you’re not sure.

Lastly, be kind and respectful to one another, be it fandom discourse or anything else. As one may not know what’s going on in everyone’s lives, it is important that we be empathetic to one another.

Hope this helps.

[stobinesque]

intro & masterlist

read • 29 • ze/zir/zirs

I follow and interact from @amusingdisplacement.

Mostly Stobin, Steddie, and Lucas Sinclair content here, but I am, broadly speaking, a multishipper! (There is the occasional canon-Stancy-critical reblog here and there, tagged anti-stancy for filtering purposes.)

No DNI criteria, but minors take note that there's fairly frequent 18+ content here. And B*lly Hargr*ve fans who don't think he's canonically racist: we will not get along.

links & nav guide

[ ao3 account ] • [ spotify ]

tags:

#read.txt : original homegrown ramblings. sometimes there are even coherent headcanons here.

#read writes : general-purpose writing tag

#read microfic : where all of my microfic drabbles for my 250 follower celebration can be found!

things i currently ramble about a lot:

#jeff is steve's bi awakening au | #wayfinder tag [s4 lucas pov fix-it] | #first light tag [rockie apocalyptic first date fic] | #wigwag tag [steve's gay slut-discovery era: the fic]

fic list

highlights:

currently posting: Follow Celebration Microfics!

newest: held frozen like an angel to me • E • steddie • [read on ao3]

biggest hit: lay your cuts and bruises over my skin • unrated • Steve-centric • [ao3 only]

writer's higlight: the firmament in you • T • stobin • [read on ao3]

SERIES

semiotics 'verse

[series masterpost tk]

/ˌsemēˈädiks/ plural 1. the study of signs and symbols and their use or interpretation. "Queer identities, and the everyday practices and performances associated with them, cannot be dissociated from the ways in which they are expressed by language—in all its subtleties and implicit associations as well as explicit self-reports—as situated in dynamic contexts of social norms and values, politics, power, ideology and various media" (source)

lay your cuts and bruises over my skin

3/3 | wc: 22k | Unrated | Gen / Steve-centric | ao3 only

People like to say that Steve can’t take a punch. But that’s not strictly true. The other accusation—that he’s no good at throwing a punch—is closer to the truth. But really the issue can be neatly summarized by the fact that he’s a little too good at taking a punch. OR A history of Steve Harrington’s bruises.

plinth

One-Shot | wc: 1k | G | Gen / Robin & Max | read on ao3

There are monsters in Hawkins, Billy Hargrove is dead, and Robin is sitting next to his kid sister while her summer job burns in front of her.

phryctoria

7/7 | T | Gen / Stobin & Steve-centric

Sometimes your gay awakening is just having someone to show you it’s possible. After Starcourt, Steve realizes he's gay, comes out to his best friend, and starts figure out how to navigate his new reality with her. Sometimes your gay awakening is just having someone to show you it’s possible. After Starcourt, Steve realizes he's gay, comes out to his best friend, and starts figure out how to navigate his new reality with her.

A Cure for All That Ails You

One-Shot | wc: 6k | T | Gen / Stobin | read on ao3

Steve gives her a despairing look. “Please don’t tell me your only experience of grilled cheeses have been ones made with Kraft singles.” “Okay, I won’t tell you!” She says brightly. Steve looks to be on the brink of tears. “Hey…it’s okay, Steve. I promise you can pop my good-grilled-cheese cherry!” Steve’s expression, if anything, grows even more pained. “Please, for the love of God, do not put it like that.” For Lex's Spicy Six Summer Fanworks Challenge prompt: “How did you go through life so far without knowing how to make a grilled cheese sandwich?”

perfect creature rarely scene

held frozen like an angel to me

One-Shot | wc: 10.3k | E | Steddie | read on ao3

There's a figure in the doorway, silhouetted by the chandeliers he keeps faintly lit in the receiving hall. Eddie sees the outline of wings. Of horns. A flowered crown. No sooner has he had the thought to reach out than the figure is stalking towards him. Eddie still can't move, and the beat of his heart picks up its pace. Not yet pounding in terror, but racing like he's just started a chase. He wants to speak. Wants to cry out, wants to— "Hello, my pet."

ONE SHOTS

the shape of things lost; the shape of things to come

T | wc: 1k | Gen / Stobin | cw: Major (Canonical) Character Death, Post-Season 4 Vol. 2, Grief & Mourning, fatalistic thinking

hitch, loop, hand & heart [ READ ON AO3 ]

E | wc: 2k | cw/tags: Bondage, Shibari, Hand Kink, Praise Kink, Anal Fingering, Soft Dom Steve, Good Boy Eddie, ‘puppy’ used as a term of endearment

the mouth that feeds you [ READ ON AO3 ]

E | wc: 4k | cw/tags: Office Sex, Desk Sex,Lingerie, thigh biting, Stone Top Robin, Sassy Pillow Princess Nancy (kinda), ‘sir’ used as an honorific, Praise Kink, Oral Sex, Dacryphilia (just a dash), Edging, Vaginal Fingering, Squirting [there’s…a lot going on here]

CHALLENGES & PROMPT FILLS

Steddie Week fics:

Day Two: Fluff [T+]

Day Three: First Kiss [T]

Day Four: Familiar / “let me be the void you fill” [T+]

Days 6: Misunderstanding & 7: “Freedom!” by Wham / “talking could, if we’d just dare (you know that i’ll forgive you)” [part 1][part 2]

Steddie Microfic Challenge fics:

July

prompt: 'pool' original wc goal: 442 bonus round goal: 273 title: center stage • rating: E / M • cws: Kink, D/s dynamics, Public Sex, Bondage, Chastity Device (briefly implied), Boot Kink, Light Degradation/Humiliation

August

prompt: cake wc goal: 311 fill 1: gilding the lily • rating: E • cws: cockwarming, facials, group sex, “puppy” used as term of endearment

fill 2: avarice for pearls • rating: E • cws/tags: D/s dynamics, free use, sloppy seconds, Daddy Kink (no age play)

Spicy Six Summer Challenge fics

A Cure for All That Ails You One-Shot | wc: 6k | T | Gen / Stobin | read on ao3 prompt: “How did you go through life so far without knowing how to make a grilled cheese sandwich?”

TK: the firmament in you [prompt: Dancing under the stars. - stobin] TK: first light on the horizon (at the end of the world) [prompt: First date - rockie]

prompt fills

prompt: “Just pretend to be my date.” [stobin] rating: T (for language) | wc: 771

prompt: things you said but didn’t mean [stobin] rating: T (for language) | wc: 616 | cw: hurt/comfort, arguments & misunderstandings

prompt: things you said through a closed door [steddie] rating: M (for frank discussions of sex) | wc: 679 | cw: hurt/comfort, erectile dysfunction, internalized ableism

prompt: things you didn’t say at all [stobin] rating: G | wc: 276 | cw: angst, hurt/comfort, ambiguous loss

Playlists!

fic related mixes

World's #1 Babysitter Mixtape [rel: lay your cuts and bruises]

Steve & Robin's Scoops Tracks [rel: lay your cuts and bruises]

Steve's Heartbreak Playlist [rel: Steddie Week Day 7 fic]

Stobin Car Tracks #1 [Summer '85] [rel: phryctoria]

Jeff Taste Profie ['84] [rel: 'Jeff is Steve's Bi Awakening AU']

Wayfinder playlist

first light on the horizon [a Vickie mixtape]

(at the end of the world) first light vibes playlist]

the firmament in you playlist

perfect creature rarely seen series playlist

get to know the author mixes

Stobinesque's Ten Song Recs

STOBINESQUE [username playlist]

STOBINESQUE [vol. 2]

AMUSINGDISPLACEMENT [username playlist – main]

[thissortofsorcery]

I posted 814 times in 2022

That's 814 more posts than 2021!

32 posts created (4%)

782 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@shieldofiron

@heartbuckley

@ariesbilly

@imsodishy

@vhagar-apologist

I tagged 129 of my posts in 2022

#harringrove - 35 posts

#billy hargrove - 25 posts

#billy x steve - 9 posts

#mine - 7 posts

#billy antis dni - 5 posts

#sorcery says - 5 posts

#steve harrington - 4 posts

#personal - 4 posts

#max mayfield - 3 posts

#so cute - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#i’m not sure what the rules are for interacting with minors in fandom are but let it be known i’m 27 if that makes anyone uncomfortable

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Harringrove social media AU (in a season 2 setting because that is my paradise land) where Billy makes surfing TikToks as a teenager, with a really good following and a promising career as a pro surfer. Until Neil moves the entire family to a landlocked state, and Billy knows it's to punish him.

There could be several reasons for this:

-Billy is becoming too independent from Neil;

-Someone questioned a bruise Billy didn't cover up well enough and now it's all over the internet;

-Billy was caught with a guy he was seeing;

-Billy's mom saw his TikToks and tried to get in touch, Neil had been keeping him from her;

And now Billy's in a town in the middle of nowhere, Indiana, two months into the school year, and everybody expects him to, what, be chill about it? Not care that Neil can just ruin his life and his career on a whim, and there's nothing he can do about it? Billy's raging, Billy's seething, Billy's hurt, and no one wants to or can help him. Susan won't lift a finger or say anything against Neil, looks down every time his dad raises his voice or his hand to hit Billy. And Max- Max is furious with him, blames him for the move like he was the one who decided to pack everything, like he was the one who sold his board and packed the cars and bought the ugly house on Cherry Lane.

What the hell is Billy supposed to do now? He's a senior and he had no plans of going to college, hasn't even thought of applying anywhere. His account is going to die out if he doesn't post anything, and who can guarantee he can raise it from the dead in a year if he makes it back to California once he's eighteen? He needs the TikTok money to make it back to California anyway. He's screwed. He's so screwed.

On the other side of this, is Steve. Steve is a gaming streamer and youtuber, or was- is. He's trying, okay? But ever since- everything, he can't play horror games anymore. He used to stream horror games pretty much exclusively, had whole events for it, charity streams, sponsorships, and then the whole Upside Down thing happened, and he knows his role in it was minor, okay, he knows he was there just for the tail end of it, but a seven-feet tall monster with a flower for a face coming out of the ceiling of the Byers house was both his starting and breaking point, apparently.

His channel was pretty good. Pretty stable. Then he tried to stream Blair Witch about a week after everything and had a panic attack on stream. Things didn't get better after that.

Nancy got him into Animal Crossing, because it's soothing, so he streams that now. And The Sims. Needless to say, his channel took a pretty big hit, as did his reputation. Like Tommy H. says, he turned bitch.

But it's fine, everything's fine. He's got Nancy, he's got a loyal online community that stayed after everything, even if it's small and no one's anywhere near Hawkins. He's got his SAD (Steve After Dark) Streams for when he can't sleep. Halloween is coming up and he's maybe sad he's not doing Spooktober this year, but. Maybe on the last week. Maybe on Halloween Day. If Nancy doesn't want to go to Tina's party.

Billy and Steve collide pretty much the same way. Steve is on edge and Billy is on edge, then the world's ugliest dogs are let out, and Maxine sneaks out, and Billy finds her in a house full of boys and an 18 year old washed out streamer who lies to him about it. Next thing Billy knows he's waking up in a half-destroyed kitchen with an empty syringe two feet from him, car gone, and not a single person in sight.

On Monday, Harrington's face looks bad. It's been a while since Billy's felt this guilty about putting a bruise on someone's face, but he knows he lost it a little, that night. Went too far. He doesn't remember most of it, and Billy doesn't know if that's from whatever drugs Maxine shot him with or from just- anger. Remorse just clogs his throat and he can't breathe. He decides to stay the fuck away from Harrington.

And then Tommy H. just has to take pictures of them, make a damn video, post it to Instagram and TikTok and tag them both. Of course it goes viral.

Billy spends a full week in a state of panic. He fully expects Harrington to press charges now. 

(Steve, similarly, is panicking. He streams family friendly content now. He can't just get into fights. He can't stream until his face heals as it is.)

Billy feels even more like shit when his follower count goes up and his account sees more activity than it has since the move. Like it's a reward for beating up Harrington, or something. It's not right. 

(The same happens to Steve.)

So Billy has an idea. He wants to apologize to Harrington. Wants to make it up to him. Maybe he can help him get his popularity back, get his channel to how it used to be, somehow. And if it keeps his own account alive, well. 

It takes a little convincing, but Steve agrees. Dustin is trying to get him into his nerdy games, but Steve isn't sure he likes them. Steve's been having a hard time, since the second round with the Upside Down. He can't sleep, can't focus, Nancy went off with Jonathan. So maybe he wants a distraction, okay? Maybe he wants something that isn't life or death.

So Billy and Steve start a partnership of sorts. Steve films a couple of youtube videos playing co-op games with Billy. Branches out to TikTok, maybe. Starts bringing Billy to his streams, at first just to hang out and then to take over and play some stuff. Billy manages to burn down Steve's entire 9th generation legacy mansion on The Sims in 30 minutes. Billy and Steve play Dead By Daylight together, and Steve feels increasingly comfortable playing horror games with Billy around. 

It's working so well for Steve, he decides he wants to pay it back. So he teaches Billy to ice skate so they can make content for Billy's TikTok. Steve takes Billy sledding when it snows. Billy films Steve falling asleep in unlikely places during the day and not waking up when Billy piles things on him. 

Steve hunts down and finds Billy's old surfing board that Neil sold and buys it back.

At some point, Steve becomes Billy's best friend. If he could- If they could, Billy would- They could be more, Billy thinks. But they're all over the internet, and Billy doesn't think Neil watches their content, but word can get back to him really easily. People like to speculate as it is. It's a small fucking town. 

The climax would be, of course, getting Billy out of Neil's house. Getting Neil arrested. So Billy can be free.

(Feel free to explore and play with this AU as you like!!)

225 notes - Posted November 15, 2022

#4

Billy tried not to, is the thing. But it’s like his body has a mind of its own. It’s often like that when it comes to Harrington.

It was an accident at first. Harrington tripped just as Billy had been walking by, and his chest had crashed straight into Billy’s. The surprise of it had nearly sent them both to the ground, but Billy had managed to hold them both up somehow, grip tight on Harrington’s elbows.

He was so warm.

Billy had shoved him off, barked out a “Watch it, Harrington!” and walked away.

A month later, Billy can’t call it an accident anymore.

If Billy times it just right, he’s walking back from the nook where the vending machines are hidden just as Harrington’s walking towards them. More often than not, Harrington will trip on the uneven tile or be distracted with conversation. More often than not, he’ll bump into Billy.

Billy’s started to count down the minutes to this accidental touch everyday. He tries not to. But when the hands of the clock start inching closer to their lunch period he starts remembering it: the warmth of Harrington’s skin through his clothes. The hair on his arms when his sleeves are rolled up. The hardness of his bicep when Billy grips it to hold them both up. If he’s lucky, Steve might steady himself with a hand on Billy’s chest, right where his buttons are undone.

Billy shifts in his seat.

He didn’t use to be like this, during basketball season. Now that that’s over he finds himself looking for Harrington everywhere, hungry for a glimpse of his mop of brown hair, craving accidental touches.

Not so accidental, on Billy’s part.

Ms. Garret’s still talking about homework, at the front of the class. The clock hands are ticking, always closer to lunch, but never fast enough.

Billy’s leg bounces under his desk. The teacher’s going on about exercise sheets Billy’s not gonna turn in. He leans back in his chair, looks out the window. Casual. He’s not antsy. He’s not.

The bell rings.

Billy’s out of his seat like a shot. Harrington’s classroom is closer to the cafeteria. Billy takes large strides to the cafeteria, doesn’t stop by his locker on the way.

When he crosses the wide cafeteria doors, he slows. Tries to pinpoint where Harrington is. Like a sixth sense, he sees him a few feet behind him out the corner of his eye.

Harrington’s wearing the red sweater today, sleeves rolled up. His hair looks extra floppy. He’s talking to Wheeler, pointing to the vending machines.

Billy sets off.

It’s quick work. Shove coins in. Get soda. Watch out the corner of his eye for Harrington.

Here he comes.

Billy turns around.

One step. Two. Harrington’s sneaker catches on the broken tile of the cafeteria floor, and he crashes into Billy, a quiet “shit” murmured under his breath. Billy grabs onto him, one hand on a lean bicep, the other on a hairy forearm. Harrington gets his feet under him, but they’re still pressed close, hips nearly touching. Harrington’s hand is splayed on his chest, fingers wide, nudging under his open shirt.

“Watch it, Harrington,” Billy says. Not barks, not yells. Just says. His voice is rough, like he gargled glass. Their faces are close.

“Sorry,” Harrington mumbles, face going pink. He’s just an inch or two taller than Billy, but it feels like nothing. They’re so close. Harrington’s eyes flicker to Billy’s mouth, so quickly Billy might’ve missed it if he hadn’t been watching Harrington’s face so intently.

Without his permission, his thumb strokes Harrington’s forearm. Steve breathes in sharply.

Somewhere beyond them, someone drops their lunch tray, and the clatter lurches them apart. Like they’d never touched at all, Billy heads to the cafeteria doors, Steve continues to the vending machines.

At the threshold, Billy glances over his shoulder. He can’t help it.

Harrington’s heading back to Wheeler, Coke in hand. He sidesteps the broken tile expertly.

When Billy looks up at Harrington’s face, he’s looking back at him, with a little smirk on his face. It can’t be- Can it?

Billy shakes his head. Nah. No way Harrington would go out of his way just to bump into Billy.

He goes to his car to smoke it off.

272 notes - Posted December 13, 2022

#3

It takes a while for Billy to notice, but there’s something to the warm feeling that spreads across his chest whenever he sees Steve.

He knows he can’t get enough of Steve. Can’t get enough of how he looks at Billy from under his lashes when he’s flirting, of how he tosses his head back when he laughs, of the long line of his neck, of his moles.

But there’s something else to how their eyes meet across a room, a light to Steve’s eyes when they land on Billy, like-

It takes Billy a while to put his finger on it. It’s been a long time since someone’s looked happy to see him.

Every time Steve looks at him, it’s there. That glint in his eyes like, hey, there you are. It’s different than looking at Billy like he’s hot, Billy knows he’s smoking, but Steve looks at him like… Like his presence is something good. Like he wants him there.

Billy’s not used to that.

Steve’s sitting with Robin and Dustin in the corner booth at the diner when Billy comes in with Max, and he’s laughing at something they’re saying, but when his eyes land on Billy his whole face changes. His smile looks like it… grows, somehow.

He leans his whole body towards Billy and says,

“Billy, hey!” In that bright voice he gets when he’s happy, Steve’s happy.

Happy to see Billy walk in the door.

Billy’s sure his face is doing the goofiest, sappiest expression, looking back at Steve. Just grinning at each other like fools in the middle of the diner.

Just happy to be there, where the other is.

290 notes - Posted December 7, 2022

#2

Billy’s just put his jacket back on. His boots go on next. His earring dangles in his ear with the movement, and his back and ass ache when he rises back up. Sore.

It’s dark in the entryway of Harrington’s house at three in the morning, quiet and still hours before the sun rises. Billy hadn’t meant to fall asleep. But Steve had barely rolled off of him, one leg tangled between his, nose in his hair, and Billy was so warm and comfortable- He hadn’t meant to. It was a mistake.

He shouldn’t be there when Harrington wakes up, Steve would regret it for sure.

Steve wouldn’t want anything serious with a guy. With Billy.

He’s got his keys out of his jacket pocket when he hears it,

“Where are you going?” Steve’s voice comes from the stairs, hoarse with sleep, making Billy jump.

Steve’s in the middle of the steps with only his underwear on, the line of hickeys down his chest and halfway to his stomach that Billy put there fully exposed, a grumpy confused frown on his face. Arms crossed like he’s cold.

“I’m just heading out,” Billy says softly, unwilling to break the cover of the dark. It feels like they’re inside a dome, here in the entryway, close together but far apart.

Steve comes down the steps slowly, and his feet barely make any noise on the carpet. Billy doesn’t look away from his eyes. They’re not clouded with sleep, anymore, and they’re honed in on Billy like lasers.

“It’s the middle of the night, man,” He says, like Billy hasn’t left in the dead of night countless times before. Like they’re not used to hookups in their cars.

“Yeah,” Billy steps back, because Steve just keeps coming closer. “I’ll get out of your hair, princess. Go back to bed.”

He means to say it mean, but it comes out- soft. Like a whisper.

“Billy,” Steve says, and he’s smiling. Why is he smiling.

Steve’s hand touches his chest where Billy didn’t bother to button his shirt, his pinky nudges a nipple on purpose. Billy’s breath hitches.

Billy knows his eyes are wide, his mouth is open. He looks up from Steve’s hand to his face, and Steve looks so fond, so- He’s looking from Billy’s eyes to his mouth like he wants to kiss him.

He does kiss him.

Billy drops his keys. The need to get his hands on Steve’s face is sudden, urgent, like he has to hold on to him or he’ll fade away, or change his mind. He needs to hold Steve’s face to his or he’ll lose the press of Steve’s soft lips, lose the tongue pressing in to curl against his own.

Steve’s hands are clutching at his jacket tightly, pulling Billy in at the same time his body wants to press Billy into the door. It takes Billy a minute to realize Steve is trying to yank off his jacket, pulling roughly at his shoulders. He has to let go of Steve’s face to take it off, but he does it one hand at a time, and he trades it for pressing biting kisses into Steve’s mouth at the same time. He’ll hold on with his teeth if he has to.

Distantly, he hears his keys jangle against the floor, like they’ve been kicked away.

“Stay,” Steve pulls back to pant into his mouth. His eyes look right into Billy’s. There’s a look to them, half-scared, half-shy. Steve’s hands are tight on Billy’s waist. “Stay with me.”

He presses a kiss to the corner of Billy’s mouth, licks between his lips. Billy surges up, catches his bottom lip in his teeth, bruises a kiss on his mouth so intense Steve’s head moves with his nod.

“Yeah,” He says, and rests his forehead on Steve’s. Their noses brush together. “Okay.”

333 notes - Posted December 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Billy doesn’t know it yet, but a lot of things in his life change because of Steve Harrington.

Billy’s hiding in the library when he overhears it. He’s ditching calculus because he can’t stand Mr. Hermann’s voice on a good day, the way the old man talks like he’s shouting, and Billy’s head is still ringing from where Neil hit it on a shelf last night because he was late getting Maxine home for dinner.

Billy would normally spend his voluntary free period smoking outside, but it’s fucking snowing today- just one more thing to be grateful about December in goddamn Hawkins, Indiana.

That’s why he’s sitting at a table that’s kind of out of the way in the library, hidden behind the biology section. He yanked out a book about the ocean to look at the pictures to distract himself until next period.

That’s when he hears them talking. Harrington and Wheeler.

“Mike says Dustin’s driving him crazy,” Wheeler’s saying softly, from across the shelves hiding Billy. “He won’t shut up about you.”

“We’ve been hanging out,” Harrington says, just as quietly, and his voice sounds like it’s coming out through a smile. Billy tries not to picture it in his mind. “He’s cool, you know, for a middle schooler.”

Harrington says it like he’s annoyed, but his tone can’t be anything but fond. It’s ridiculous. Billy’s seen Harrington driving around the dweebs Maxine’s friends with, has seen them at the arcade and at the diner, so he knows Harrington’s been hanging around them like an overgrown mother hen. Billy can’t make sense of it.

“You seem better,” Wheeler says, after a moment of silence, and there’s something hesitant about it. “Lately, I mean. Lighter.”

Harrington doesn’t answer, and Billy wishes he could see what his face looks like. He’d noticed Harrington had been looking rough since November, even after the bruising had faded, with bags under his eyes and hollow cheeks. A blank stare, like he was somewhere else in his head.

“Dustin’s a great kid,” Harrington repeats, kind of distantly. Then in a rush he says, like the words will disappear if he doesn’t get them out, “He’s been calling me in the walkie some nights. He can’t sleep either.”

“Oh, Steve…”

“So we talk a lot. About, you know… Being there for him, it helps.”

They go silent. It’s clear something happened to the kid, and to Harrington, and Billy doesn’t care- except something happened to Max, too. She’s been quiet, and spooked, since That Night. Billy wonders if whatever happened to them happened then, after they left him drugged on the floor.

“I always wanted a little brother,” Harrington cuts through the silence. Wheeler makes a soft noise like she’s listening. “I hated being alone all the time. I thought it would be like having a friend for life, you know. Then I got older, and my dad… I don’t think… I think that if I had a brother, my dad would make us resent each other,” He says, like a confession, and it sits like a stone in Billy’s stomach.

“You can’t know that, Steve…” Wheeler says softly.

“No, I know. It’s just a feeling,” Billy hears Harrington shift, then the shelf wobbles, like he’s leaning on it. “You know what my dad’s like, with me. I keep thinking, if I had a brother… He’d be comparing us all the time. Pitting us against each other. Makes us tell on each other. To make sure we were alone. I don’t know,” He huffs, and mocks himself with a little laugh. “Like you said, it’s stupid.”

Billy has to swallow past a lump in his throat. His hands are clenched into fists. It sounds a little too familiar, Harrington’s feelings about his father. Neil knows how to be an asshole too, especially about Maxine, and being a good big brother. Makes a point of disciplining Billy about it. Except all it does is make him hate Max.

“Maybe it’s not,” Wheeler says, and her voice is firm this time. Maybe she’s holding Harrington’s hand, even. “He really is an asshole.”

Harrington snorts, but it’s still a little sad, “Thanks, Nance.”

Billy sinks lower in his seat, careful not to make noise. He feels suddenly exhausted. The ringing in his head feels worse than ever.

“This is better, with Dustin,” Harrington says. “He’s awesome. And the other kids too.”

And my dad can’t touch him, he doesn’t say, but Billy hears it all the same.

Eventually, Harrington and Wheeler leave and Billy’s alone again behind his bookshelves, with the marine biology book he hasn’t looked at in half an hour. Harrington’s words don’t leave him though.

Billy knows his resentment of Max mostly comes from how his dad treats her, he’s aware enough of that. He hates that she never suffers the consequences of the shit the does, that she can do no wrong in Neil’s eyes, that she and Susan make up Neil’s idea of a perfect family and Billy doesn’t.

It hadn’t occurred to Billy that Neil could be doing all of it deliberately. This whole time he thought his dad wanted him to like Max - wanted him to be a good big brother. He never thought it could be all a part of a different game, to make him hate Max and make Max hate him.

What was it that Harrington said? To make sure we were alone.

Easy to control.

That’s what Neil likes, isn’t it.

Billy ends up ditching the rest of the day. He can’t stomach the thought of sitting in a classroom listening to teachers droning on about shit while his head’s buzzing with memories trying to reorganize themselves. This can’t be right. He can’t have gotten it this wrong. Billy’s too old to be this dumb, to fall for this shit.

See the full post

418 notes - Posted December 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[batterybyler]

°°° ~ Both of us are talking till dawn

°°° ~ But it feels like I'm just talking to myself

About Me !!

I go by the names Adamon (Adam, Amon, or Mons)

Any Pronouns (He/They preference)

Anvisgender, Trans (ftm)

I'm 18

Kin-list

Omniromantic (masc preference), Gay, Cupioaroace.

I follow/like from the account @grapejuicesby-vamps

BYF!!!

I am a Billy Hargrove fanatic but I don't support his behaviors, my version of him is very different from canon!!

I sometimes reblog NSFW stuff so beware ig.

I do not like Steddie but if you enjoy it I don't mind.

CURRENT HYPERFIXATIONS!!!

Please interact if you are a fan of:

Stranger Things

Team6x111 / GHOST / Vane Lily

Vocaloid / Project sekai

Spree (2020)

DNI !!!

If you are/support: basic DNI criteria, dream fans/supporters, extreme apologists (this goes for any IRL person), anti neopronouns, ship IRL people.

[velvetkissses]

about me

☾︎☽︎ kitty, wolf, sage, ethan, or bones ☾︎☽︎ 19, 12.01.2005 ☾︎☽︎ autistic & chronically disabled ☾︎☽︎ bisexual & genderfluid ☾︎☽︎ they/them or he/him ☾︎☽︎ neo pronouns; kit/kits/kitself, purr/purrs/purrself, tiger/tigers/tigerself, cani/canis/caniself, dog/dogs/dogself

☾︎☽︎ my main blog is @kittyboones

☾︎☽︎ stuff i write about; self inserts & ocs, oc x canon, oc x oc ☾︎☽︎ stuff i write: fluff, comfort, hurt, angst, nsfw ☾︎☽︎ stuff i don't write: (will update)

☾︎☽︎ link to my masterlist

☾︎☽︎ byf & dni are not optional to read, you have to read them, if you go against my byf and dni, I'll beat you up and block you

— byf

I write 18+ content, so please don't interact with that content unless you're 18 or over, because that makes me feel weird and if I find out you're a minor interacting with my 18+ content, I'm blocking you

I might forget a word or two when I wrote, or just abruptly stop out of nowhere, apologies for that

I consume media critically and criticize them if needed to

I tag all triggers with // before them, for example "// blood"

I might re-reblog stuff, ignore that, I forget what I've already reblogged or not

— dni if you

like, defend or "stan" canonically racist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic, or whatever characters (billy hargrove for example)

are ableist

are homophobic in any way

are a pro-shipper / anti-anti

do not support people using “cringy” neo-pronouns like kittenself

are a terf

[disdaidal]

There’s something I wanted to say as someone who’s seen a fandom that was themselves picked on and viewed as outcasts that ended up really accepting and then went really wrong. It’s okay for Billy and Harringrove fans to not like Argyle, we don’t have to like Argyle to “prove we’re not racist.” We don’t have to like Lucas or Erica either (personally I like those two but wish Erica got more depth)

The fandom I was in involved a character and ship that was dubbed problematic and that its stans were racist. Eventually our own fandom members got so intense about proving antis wrong (you can’t they’re unhinged and nothing you do will get through to them) that anyone who disliked any of the POC characters to any degree or criticized the female part of the ship in ANY way started getting harassed just as much by fellow stans as by antis. It culminated in a group of BNFs doxxing another shipper.

This fandoms great, I want us to stay that way

I'm kind of curious what other fandom you're talking about (Marvel perhaps?), because that sounds toxic as fuck. And sadly, also a lot like the general Stranger Things fandom these days. 🙄

You're right though. We don't have to like Argyle, Erica or even Lucas.

The only thing that really annoys me about the whole Argyle argument from the antis is that I was one of the first gifmakers in the Stranger Things fandom to actually gif Argyle when vol 1 came out. Me, a supporter of a "racist" fictional character, who's supposed to hate a minor poc character. And that same set of mine currently has 206 notes (75 reblogs) whereas my Robin&Eddie set has over 2k notes (and over 400 reblogs). Ironically, some of those reblogs on my Argyle set are from my fellow "racists" as well. 😂😘 So that assumption that we're all racists and hate Argyle and other poc characters in this show is fucking idiotic and feels like a slap in my face (especially since I have giffed other poc characters in other shows before ST jfc.)

In any case, I don't really care about being particularly woke or trying to prove myself to the larger fandom anymore. They have made it pretty goddamn clear that they don't want to interact with my content, no matter how often I use their popular "tracked tags". And they obviously also don't care to read those long essays in defense of Billy Hargrove, no matter how good and well-thought they are, because they simply just don't care. They've already made up their minds. Fighting them is like Don Quixote fighting against windmills. It's pointless and quite frankly, stupid.

We're all here to chill and have fun in the end. This shouldn't be this serious.

[letsbreakhearts]

Rules and Muses

Before interacting, there are a few things you have to consider before approaching me:  

First things first: Mun =/= muse! The most important rule of mine, because I do write about all kind of dark and disturbing topics, since I have no trigger whatsoever and like to explore the depth of mankind's cruelty in fiction. Obviously said content is tagged as tw:(name of the trigger) and therefore easily manageable with the right tools. If this still rubs you the wrong way, because you either are a prude puretist, really easily triggered to past trauma, or simply not able of separating fiction from reality, I ask you politely to stop reading here and leave this blog instantly. Consider yourself warned. Any further consumption of this blog’s content is on you, mate. 

All heavy topics in threads need some upfront plotting, to keep it all consensual. I don’t want to accidentally throw someone off. Plotting in general is always preferred.

This blog is nsfw by default. Minors and Personals get blocked most of the time.

All ships are welcome, but I obviously have my favourites and some I never wrote before definitely need more plotting than those I write on a regular basis. 

Reasons for me to unfollow/soft block you: Your rules say: If you write “xy” I will not follow/block you; You are literally spamming my dash with personal/ooc posts; You post/share a lot of negativity and whining; You share anon hate, instead of just turning the anon function off, aka get involved in drama that is easily avoided; You participate in call out culture; OOC political commentary/activism and other non-rp related stuff that I don’t want on my rp dash; Ship bashing and kinkshaming; You turn out to be an Anti of some sort; You share any hate for the character or actors I write as/use as FC. Disclaimer: You are of course free to do whatever you want with your blog, as I am free to avoid your blog without any reason given.

If you ever feel the need to unfollow or block me, just do it. No explanation needed.

If I lose interest in interacting with you, I will unfollow and most likely softblock, or even hardblock you without any reason given. Please don’t take this too personal.

What does private mean: I have my fav mutuals who occasionally get more replies than others. Plus I am very hesitant about following new people unless you offer me something I hadn’t found a partner for before. On this note, If you approach me first, I want you to have a vague idea what you want to write with whom of my muses and some time and creativity to plot a little bit beforehand. 

I have the right to not interact with you without any reason given. 

Don’t reblog any of my self written ooc posts and psas. Same goes for rps you aren’t taking a part in. 

Asks and memes are no longer my main focus. Do not spam my ask box but rather plot with me via IM please. 

I do all lengths of threads. I also tend to edit my posts and use icons but my writing partner don’t have to. Edit your post after your own liking, or not at all.

Muses with the same FC, as well as duplicates are welcome obviously.

I don’t do passwords!

My IM is open for plotting.

For those who are interested in such things: Hello, I’m Fuchs, a lazy German hobby artist and writer. English isn’t my first language and I procrastinate A LOT. On top of that I sometimes just need ages to be happy with the stuff I write. Short: Please be patient with me, if you see me online but don’t reply right away. I also tend to have a lot of threads. So please don’t ask me to reply faster. Not gonna happen.

Muses

BOLD = Mains || Italic = only as request || Others: Available but not always muse for

Detroit: Become Human

Gavin Reed (D:BH)

RK900 (D:BH)

Leo Manfred (D:BH)

Markus (D:BH)

Daniel (D:BH)

Cole Anderson (D:BH)

Hank Anderson (D:BH)

Connor (D:BH)

60 (D:BH)

Captain Allen (D:BH)

Marvel

Tony Stark (MCU)

Quentin Beck (MCU)

Steve Rogers  (MCU)

Peter Parker (Tom) (MCU)

Peter Parker (Andrew) (Sony)

Peter Quill  (MCU)

Frank Castle  (MCU)

Scott Lang (MCU)

Eddie Brock (“MCU”)

Benjamin PointDEXter  (MCU)

Flash Thompson (MCU)

Bucky Barnes (MCU)

Erik Lehnsherr  (MCU)

Harley Keener (MCU)

Peter Parker (Tobey) (Sony)

Peter B. Parker (MCU)

Brock Rumlow (MCU)

Sherlock BBC

Sebastian Moran (Sherlock BBC)

John Watson (Sherlock BBC)

Witcher 

Jaskier

Geralt of Rivia 

The Boys

Homelander (The Boys)

William Billy Butcher(The Boys)

The Walking Dead

Marlon (TWD Tell Tale)

Negan (TWD)

Rick Grimes (TWD)

Shane Walsh  (TWD)

Daryl Dixon  (TWD)

Carl Grimes(TWD)

Star Trek

James T. Kirk (Star Trek)

Leonard H. McCoy (Star Trek)

Star Wars

Poe Dameron (Star Wars)

Kylo Ren  (Star Wars)

General Hux  (Star Wars)

Finn (Star Wars)

Stranger Things

Billy Hargrove (Stranger Things)

Steve Harrington (Stranger Things)

Jim Hopper (Stranger Things)

Uncharted

Rafe Adler (Uncharted)

Sam Drake  (Uncharted)

Nathan Drake  (Uncharted)

Red Dead Redemption

Arthur Morgan (RDR2)

John Marston  (RDR2)

Far Cry

John Seed (FC5)

Joseph Seed  (FC5)

Jacob Seed  (FC5)

Staci Pratt  (FC5)

Men in Black

Agent H (MIB International)

Life is Strange

Nathan Prescott (LIS)

Sean Eduardo Diaz  (LIS)

Daniel Diaz (LIS)

Until Dawn

Joshua Washington (Until Dawn) 

Christopher Hartley(Until Dawn) 

Michael Munroe(Until Dawn) 

The Dragon Prince

High Mage Viren (The Dragon Prince) 

Crownguard Soren (The Dragon Prince) 

King Harrow (The Dragon Prince) 

James Bond

James Bond / 007 (FC: Daniel Craig) 

Kingsman

Gary “Eggsy” Unwin (Kingsman) 

The Nice Guys

Holland March (The Nice Guys) 

Blade Runner

K /Joe (Blade Runner 2049)

Man of Medan

Conrad (Man of Medan)

Blair Witch

Ellis (Blair Witch) 

Baby Driver

Buddy 

Breaking Bad

Saul Goodman

Jesse Pinkman

Walter White

Michael “Mike” Ehrmantraut

Todd Alquist