#blender started crashing when I made two people poses so... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

helenarlett-rex · 4 years ago

Photo

I want to tell you all the story of House 2. Well... not really. Because House 2 isn’t really House 2. House 2 doesn’t have much of anything to do with House. It maybe has more to do with House than House 3 did, but hardly enough for it to really be considered House 2 despite being called House 2. House 4 was the first movie in the House series to actually be a direct sequel to House, making it the true House 2.

Sadly, House 4 was a travesty of a movie that plays out like it was made using three different scripts tossed in a blender with about twenty grams cocaine. If you’ve never seen House, a horror comedy made in 1986, you should go watch it. It’s great 80s movie. One of my favorites. I’m not talking about that one though...

House 4 is the constitution of the original House. After getting his son back from the ghost world and getting back together with his wife, author Roger Cobb, his wife, Kelly, (who I’m pretty sure was named Sandy in the first movie) and his son, Jimmy, who is now apparently his daughter, Laurel, still own the haunted house from the first movie, despite the fact that it has apparently changed from a mansion in a Beverly Hills style neighborhood to a rundown dump and been transported to the middle of butt-fuck nowhere.

I’m serious... This is what the house looked like in the first movie.

And this is what it looks like in the sequel.

They were able to get the same actor to come back and play Roger but apparently they couldn’t get the same house to come back and play the house...

Roger's step brother wants him to sell the house to him but Roger refuses because his father left him that house and they grew up there, even though in the first movie his Aunt left him the house and he had never seen it before until the start of that movie... But Roger doesn't have to worry about any of this for long because 10 minutes into the movie he dies in a car crash which also leaves his daughter in a wheelchair for the rest of her life. His wife, who always hated the house, decides to move in to it with her daughter, because apparently they didn't actually live there and only visited it as a vacation home despite Roger clearly living in it full time in the first movie... But I mean, why not? Why wouldn’t a woman who hated that house and only went there because her husband insisted on visiting it want to live in it full time after her husband died driving home from it?

After moving in a mysterious house keeper shows up saying that her work orders are already signed and she's already been paid. But she acts really weird, watching them with shifty eyes and searching the house when they aren't looking. Who is she and what is she up to? We don't know and it doesn't matter because after only three scenes in the very early part of the movie, the movie completely forgets she even exists.

Rodger's wife, Kelly, then finds a weird circular stone with carvings on it under the floorboards in the basement, but her flashlight explodes before she can get a good look at it. After that weird things start happening. The urn holding Roger's ashes falls off of the shelf and when she goes to scoop the ashes back up, a hand shoots out of them at her... Only for her to realize the urn never fell over and there are no ashes on the floor. They order a pizza but the pizza has a face on it and spits tomato sauce at her and tries to pull her into the garbage disposal. Feather hands shoot out of her daughter's bed and pull the daughter into the mattress like Johnny Depp in Nightmare On Elm Street, just as a knife magically appears next to Kelly for her to cut the mattress open to get her daughter back... just for her to realize at the last moment that nothing actually happened, her daughter is still in the bed, and she's standing there about to drive a knife down into her... She takes a shower to have the water turn into blood and the words "Get out or you will die" written on the mirror. And that’s about it for the ghostly activity.

In this hour and a half long movie, we only get four ghostly encounters in the first hour, all of which are over remarkably fast and aren’t very impressive. No huge monsters like the ones Roger had to fight in the first movie...

Not knowing what to do Kelly goes to the local... uhh... Native America Catholic Priest...? I really don’t know what to call this guy... He’s not really a Catholic Priest but he does hang out in an old Catholic church and seems to be Kelly’s spiritual advisor... He tells her that the house isn't attacking her. The land the house was built on was given to Roger's father as a wedding gift by the Native American people and the house sits on top of a magic healing spring. And because of that... Rodger's spirit is trapped in the house and can't pass on because he died at the hands of another... Because that makes perfect sense...

So once Kelly knows it's just the ghost of her husband being a total dick, and not some other ghost, everything is perfectly fine now and now Roger's ghost is protecting them. Still makes perfect sense...He still tried to trick her into stabbing her sleeping daughter to death, but she knows now that it’s just Roger so everything’s fine now. Maybe that was just a thing Roger used to do?

And then we find out that the reason Rodger's step brother wants the house is because he is in business with a Captain Planet villain who is in the illegal toxic waste disposal business. And I’m serious. Just look at this guy...

How much more cartoonish can you get? He even has to periodically stick a tube into his throat to drain unexplained yellow slime out of his body to prevent himself from choking to death on it. And his method for hiding his illegal toxic waste to to paint the word “Non-” on the canisters in front of the word “Toxic.”

This guy is straight up a Captain Planet villain who just invades the movie out of nowhere well past the half way mark with a new plot line the moment the haunting plot line is... uhh... resolved? And the reason he needs the land Kelly’s house is built on is so they can "pump all the water out of the magic Native American spring and fill it with toxic waste." Why? No reason given... Just because...

So Roger's step brother, who lives in an apartment where the walls are covered in pictures of naked women and has 5 inflatable sex dolls for roommates... that’s a pointless detail the movie thought it was important we know about... sends his goons dressed in a snake mask and a bug mask to terrorize Kelly and Laurel so they'll give up the house.

But because Roger's ghost is protecting them now, instead of trying to trick Kelly into stabbing Laurel to death... he turn's the daughter's bedroom lamp into a rottweiler with a lampshade sticking out of the top of it's head to chase the goons off. I’m serious. Here’s a picture of it...

There was a whole bit at the beginning of the movie where there was this old lamp with a plaster rottweiler on it in the house and Laurel wanted to take it home with her because Kelly won’t let her have a real dog, but Kelly wouldn’t let her because the lamp was ugly... And then... BAM! Chekhov's dog lamp...

The house then gives Kelly a vision where she learns that it was the same two goons who shot out their car tire causing the accident that killed Roger, under the order of Roger's step brother, so he could get the house when Roger wouldn't sell.

But Roger's step brother sends the goons back to burn the house down, and the house keeper, who the movie has suddenly remembered exists again, comes home with Laurel and she tries to shoot them but is knocked out and hid in the bushes outside. The goons go down into the basement and start dumping gas everywhere, but the house, or Roger's ghost, or whatever... makes them see each other as a real snake man and bug man and they shoot each other to death. The house catches on fire anyways because the gas comes in contact with one of their bullet shells... I'm sure it works that way... And Laurel is trapped in the burning house while Roger's brother calls 911 to report the fire way too soon for someone who actually wants the house to burn down.

He also doesn't seem to care about the fact that they are going to find him on the scene as the house is burning down when he has no reason to even be there and has already been harassing and even threatening Kelly to sell it to him so he can have the place demolished... That's bad for him because Roger's ghost makes him believe he has just gotten into a car with his Captain Planet villain boss and he tells him the whole story, bragging about how the cops have no way to pin it on him... when in fact they have every way to pin it on him... but it's fine, they don't even need to investigate now... because like I said, it was just the ghost tricking him and he's actually telling all of that to the house keeper... Who is actually an FBI agent... No idea why an FBI agent was posing as Kelly's house keeper, but oh well... It’s as good a reason as any as to why she was acting so weird the few times we saw her in the beginning of the movie.

Then the magic spring under the house erupts like Old Faithful, putting out the fire and healing Laurel’s legs... Roger's ghost shows up dressed as a cop to arrest his step brother, then Roger bursts into light and shoots up into the stars. I guess his soul is no longer trapped in the house because he caught the man to gave the orders to kill him...? Or maybe it’s because the magic spring was finally opened? I don’t know... It doesn’t matter because they all live happily ever after... except Roger because he's still dead... and his brother because he's going to prison.

And that’s the story of House 4 which was actually House 2 but shouldn’t have been House anything because it was a confusing, disjointed, inconsistant trash fire that never should have been made.

4 notes · View notes

saihahas · 5 years ago

Text

The sheer brilliance of the Pikmin shorts

And how their success shows that a cartoon with no dialog can excel in quality.

This is going to be seperated into three portions, for each short! Short 1 will be titled in RED. Short 2 will be titled in BLUE. Short 3 will be titled in PURPLE.

SHORT 1

Short one, The Night Juicer, is my least favorite out of the three. Granted, I still really enjoy the short! But it's not memorable in comparison to the other two. It's the shortest, and plays off of what Pikmin are named after! For those not aware of Pikmin lore or the games, Pikmin were named based off of Pikpik Carrots, which are very popular on Capitan Olimar's home planet, Hocotate.

This short begins with a very cute title sequence, showing Pikmin just doing Pikmin things! Which the series is exceptional at.

The first short starts with a Red, Blue and Yellow Pikmin watching Olimar make himself an unassuming red smoothie.

A lil squeaky sound effect is made when Oli puts his hands on his hips, thats all.

ANYWAYS-

The Primary Pikmin trio all run up to Olimar as he finishes up his cup, but stop after glancing over to the side of the blender, seeing a cut up Pikpik carrot they mistake for a Red Pikmin.

This sends the trio into a frenzy, freaking out and running away from Olimar.

Oh and this

Consider my timbers, shivered. Olimar creepily walks towards them, as if it was a horror movie. The trio fantasize what will become of them once Olimar catches them, while trying to get as far away from him as possible.

Olimar corners them in the storage closet, and the trio fear the worst. Only for Olimar to daintily push them to the side, and pick up two pikpik carrots for another smoothie.

All in all, this short isn't bad! It's cute and simple, a jokey horror trope. It simply suffers the fate most pilot episodes do. The other two are much less Olimar centered, and shine as a result.

SHORT 2

Short 2, Treasure in a Bottle, is my second favorite of the trio, but it definitely is close to overtaking short 3. This series is devoid of Olimar entirely, focused on Pikmin interacting with eachother. (And our protag, a Red Pikmin's desire for the shiny)

Short 2 starts out with a Red Pikmin, lets call him Steve, in a field chasing a butterfly. He gets distracted by a bottle, and proceeds to stare at his reflection in the glass.

The ramune is giant in comparison to Steve, and then he notices the shine of the marble inside. He screams in excitement, before scaling multiple objects to reach the top of the ramune bottle. (After falling off a grass blade gently)

Steve marvels at the marble, and hops into the bottle. He notices the long way down from where the marble lies and shudders, determined to roll the marble out. He attempts several times to do so, and on his last attempt, the marble gets stuck. After a few seconds, the marble falls and steve lands at the bottom of the bottle, and can't get out. While stuck, a trio of a single red, blue and yellow Pikmin come across Steve!

After laughing about how silly he looks inside the bottle, the trio tries to come up with a plan to break Steve out. Blue suggests filling the bottle with water, so Steve floats to the top and can be pulled off. Steve quickly shuts the idea down, as all Pikmin aside from blue Pikmin can't swim. Yellow has a much more direct approach, grabbing a bomb rock and allowing it to detonate, launching the bottle into the air. Steve flies out of the bottle, but as the bottle lands on the ground, Steve falls back into the bottle.

The three watch a trio of blue pikmin latched to eachother trying to pull down a butterfly, before a purple adds too much weight and the butterfly gets away. The trio has an idea, and like that Steve is saved!!!!

But not without taking the ramune with him ;)

SHORT 3

The final and longest Pikmin short, Occupational Hazard, is easily the best of the three in my opinion. It has Olimar present, but he isn't the focus of the short, the pikmin doing their thing are!

The short starts off showing some Pikmin taking apart pieces of a large machine, carrying bits ans pieces along, with come cute slapstick type comedy throughout. The camera pans out, showing how small the pikmin are compared to PNF-404 (Earth)

A quick pan later, and Olimar appears! He's using his whistle to direct Pikmin on where to go, much like in the games. The Pikmin are catapulting eachother, two go down, one comes up. They all carry the bits of metal to the Reasearch Pod, which assesses value. The Pod takes a brief leave, panning over Olimar and the Pikmin.

What a great shot

A yellow pikmin gets catapulted, offering a bent nail, which Olimar declines. The pikmin tosses the nail over the edge, hitting a white pikmin on the head. (Which they are VERY angry about) Two blue attempt to pull up a purple Pikmin, which was definitely unsuccessful, followed by a very angry white Pikmin yelling and taking his spot, only to be flung into the stratosphere after two purple Pikmin come down the catapult.

Back to business as usual.

The camera pans to some yellow Pikmin making their way inside the machine itself! Some yellows are carrying materials, but two stop and notice a small bolt. One touches it and gets shocked, followed by both touching it, and their leaves sprout into bulbs and flash, as they made a current! A blue tries to join in on the fun, but dies, as they can't conduct electricity. Poor guy :(

A small group of Pikmin sneak off to some pipes, ready to go have some fun! A blue Pikmin kicks a red through a pipe, and we get a cute transition to the other side of the pipes! A yellow pulls out a mushroom, a red and blue pull out screws and, there's a cute mario reference with a red Pikmin! Our lovely gang finds an odd looking pipe and decide to check it out, only for it to have been the snout of a Blowhog! It spews fire before emerging from the pipes, nearly burning the group. Luckily for them, some red Pikmin take on the Blowhog, because they're fire resistant. The red Pikmin are playing with thr Blowhog, despite it still chasing their friends around breathing fire. Luckily AGAIN, the Blowhog trips, and lands in the mud, its snout being filled with it. Naturally, they decide to have fun with the mud.

Back to Olimar and the construction site, my absolute favorite piece of pikmin media occurs. (Spliced 4 convenience, sound on!!!)

Something very big in these shorts are exaggerated reactions as well as music and sound effects playing to convey a specific feeling. Pikmin do not speak, and neither does Olimar. But in these shorts, their small soundbytes are able to convey what the pikmin are saying to eachother. This method of sound design is done extremely well, and I would argue to say that if these shorts prove anything at all, it's that nintendo could make a TV series that has no dialog whatsoever, and still have the audience rolling on thr floor laughing.

Back to the mud buds, we get a few more shots of them playing before yellow gets distracted. The shiny strikes again. Yellow walks into a large oil drum, and picks up a screw. Deeper in the drum, another sparkle catches his attention. Yellow picks the second up, and finds himself at a place with several odd colored objects. One of which he kicks.

It's a Bulborb!!! And its MAD. The mud buds are in trouble, and they're running as fast as they can from the Bulborb, who gets a red and blue Pikmin into its mouth. The two manage to get out through its nostrils, giving the others enough time to make a plan to outsmart the Bulborb.

A giant glove comes out of nowhere, halting the Bulborb and hypnotizing it, before flinging itself onto its backside. The glove was being controlled by an entourage of Pikmin, and the Bulborb catches on rather quickly, biting the glove and flinging the mud buds out. They all hide in a wheel rim(?) and some slapstick ensues.

Fed up with the mud bud's antics, the Bulborb kicks the rim, but hurts his toe instead. Poor guy,,, but he had it coming.

With a cute fanfare, we quickly return to Olimar, who has scaled the machine! But now his attention turns to the Bulborb that has been oddly fascinated with the rim.

The Bulborb finally manages to free the car wheel, throwing it into the air! Once it hits the ground, the mud buds all fall out, much to Olimar's dismay. And the way he struggles while whistling for the pikmin's attention is a BIG mood for people who've played the game before.

The mud buds start running to Olimar after hearing his call, much to the Bulborb's dismay. A chase ensues, and the Blowhog appears again, with its fire abilities regained. Rhe Bulborb continues to give chase, with two Pikmin meeting their demise. Everything seems hopeless, as the buds and Bulborb are huddled into the scoop of the machine.

And we get thrown back to the yellow Pikmin's party, with several linking to eachother and sparkling. One's foot touches the other's head, completing the current and turning the machine on.

The scoop gets sent upwards, as Olimar falls and lands on a lever, causing the scoop to let loose the contents inside. Right when it seems the buds are going to hit the ground along with the Bulborb, their leaves sprout into flowers! They gently float to the ground, while the Bulborb was.... not so lucky. A heavenly light shines as the gang ascend, with triumphant music in the background.

Oh and then all 97 pikmin left go ham on the bulborb.

The machine begins to deconstruct, and fall apart. More sadly relatable whistles from Olimar ensue, and uh

This happens.

After clearing the explosion, Olimar and the Pikmin look upon the wreckage, as the Pod reappears, and takes a value of the entire machine. The Pod asseses that the wreck is 100,000,000,007 pokos, and Olimar makes a triumphant pose. The white pikmin from earlier comes crashing down during the Fin. screen.

Now for my personal thoughts, while I have had some spread throughout, my final cohesive thoughts are as stated down below. Pikmin as a franchise has been dead for a while. We got a reboot of Pikmin 3 this year, and these were reuploaded from the WiiU era. The overwhelmingly positive response from the community as well as non-pikmin fans is second to none. These short style, no dialog cartoons have worked for Nintendo for years. (If anyone remembers the Yoshi and Poochy shorts I love you) This series is phenomenal at conceying emotion, or the volume of the situation, without saying a single word. The pikmin scream in excitement, they make their little noises in anger, dings and drones are placed perfectly, so EVERYONE can understand the situation. I fully believe that more companies should view these cartoons as cartoons, and give them the spotlight as well. Each short remains the length it has to be, and shows some fun content at that. The Pikmin interacting with eachother and behaving the way they do is adorable, especially when in the Pikilopedia from the games, Olimar mentions specifically they act like toddlers. Toddlers who help him not miss his own kids as much, while stranded on PNF-404.

If you wanna give the series a view for yourself, I'll provide the thinks below!!

youtube

1 note · View note

krizaland · 6 years ago

Text

Zim/Dib x Magical Girl Reader Chapter 3

First chapter Previous

Chapter 3 is finally here! I’m having a ton of fun with @brookelim2001 ‘s Magical Girl reader request!

I finally managed to get to the fun stuff and it’s only going to get more wild from here!

Zim let out a growl as he followed you and Dib into the lunchroom. He had no idea why he cared so much about you hanging out with Dib. Nobody ever believed him and he tended to creep most students out.

However, just seeing Dib, heck any other student, near you was enough to make Zim’s blood boil.

Zim hated how upset he got whenever he saw you hanging out with anyone else. Why should he care about who you spend your time with? It didn’t affect him nor his plans in any way. So what was the problem?!

Zim decided to grab some ‘lunch’ and sit down at a table in front of Dib’s.

He snarled as he watched the two of you chat and eat together.

“Stupid squirmy Dib…How dare he try to take what’s-No! Look at me! So the Y/N has decided to hang out with the Dib-stink, big deal! I won’t get worked up over some pitiful human taking interest in someone other than Zim! I won’t- I….” Zim trailed off as he continued to watch you eat with Dib.

Zim’s face fell as he slumped in his seat. It wasn’t fair! Why was Dib getting all of your attention?!

He felt like his insides were in a blender! Where did all of these feelings come from?! You clearly did something to him but why couldn’t he find out what it was?!

Zim let out an enraged growl as he stormed out of the lunchroom. Clearly, he needed a new plan to find out what you did him.

Meanwhile, you begun to tell Dib about what happened to the talisman.

“It’s so crazy! I was just holding it and bam! It changed color! Look!” You insisted as you held up the now pink talisman.

“Wow! The talisman’s instruction manual didn’t say anything about a color change! Maybe it’s absorbing whatever alien chemical Zim injected you with.” Dib mused as he inspected the talisman.

“I guess so. Anyway, I really can’t thank you enough for helping me. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you at first.” You smiled as you took another bite of your lunch.

“Eh, it’s alright. I’m used to people not believing me. I’m just glad I managed to get through to someone.” Dib sighed as he continued to eat as well.

“You know, I’ve actually always believed in aliens. I just didn’t think they’d ever want to come to Urth.” You confessed as you rubbed the back of your head.

Dib nearly spat out his food.

“You believed in aliens this whole time?! And you never once thought that Zim might be an alien?!”

“Well, I mean sure Zim looks a little weird but I didn’t want to make assumptions. Like I thought he just had a skin condition and probably got bullied a lot for it.” You explained as you continued to eat.

“Ugh. Look, I know everyone wants to be inclusive in all but Zim literally screams about ending mankind! You can’t tell me that’s something a normal human would do!” Dib whined as he gestured with his fork.

“You got me there. I’m surprised I didn’t really pick up on any of that stuff sooner.” You admitted as you nodded along.

“Well at least you understand now! If only the rest of the world could wake up too…Then we could all work together and stop Zim before he destroys us all.” Dib pouted as he played with his food.

“Well, I’m pretty sure he won’t get that far. I mean it’s not like-Huh?”

You were cut off by a sudden vibration jolting through your body. The next thing you knew, the talisman begun to glow.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?”

“I think It’s the talisman. It’s shaking and glowing. Is that normal?” You asked as you gestured to the now glowing talisman.

“No. I don’t think it’s supposed to do that-OW!.” Dib tried to reach for the talisman but the glow burned his hand.

“Dib! Are you ok?” You squeaked as you covered your mouth.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve had way worse. Something is definitely up with that talisman.” Dib cradled his hand.

You were about to respond when the ground started to shake. The water in your cup rippled as the sound of loud stomping grew louder and louder.

BOOM!

A massive mech burst through the lunchroom! The impact caused both you and Dib to fall under the table.

“Where is Y/N?!” Zim’s voice bellowed from the mech.

“What the?! No! That can’t be Zim!” You hissed as you hugged your knees.

“It is Zim, Y/N! And it sounds like he hasn’t finished his experiment yet!” Dib insisted as he tried not to hit his head.

“Well what are we gonna do?!”

“Don’t worry, I’ll think of something. Just hang tight and try to stay hidden.” Dib instructed as he pulled out his laptop.

“Ugh. It’s time like these I wish I could just transform into some kind of hero-Huh?”

The talisman rattled as it begun to glow even brighter as a small voice rung out.

“Wish granted…”

FSHHH!

“What’s going on-WOAH!”

You were whisked away by hundreds of bright pink butterflies. Golden stars and dark pink clouds surrounded you as your body glowed bright white. The talisman flew off your neck and transformed into a massive, glowing pink ribbon.

You let out a gasp as the glowing pink ribbon spun you around and raised your arms above your head.

PWINK!

The ribbons formed a frilly hot pink dress with light pink accents.

PLINK!

POP!

A black sash wrapped around your waist and popped into a cute bow.

“Woah! Woah! Hey! Take it easy!”

FWISH!

One by one, the ribbons lifted up your legs and formed matching frilly black boots.

FWISH!

The ribbons swirled around your arms and formed matching, black arm length gloves.

“Hey this is actually kinda fun now” You giggled as you playfully swiped your hands above your head.

FWHIP!

FWISH!

Two curly black antennas sprouted from your head and your hair turned bright green.

PLINK!

POP!

You dragged a hand across your forehead and a bright red pair of tiara-like goggles appeared.

FWHINK!

You hunched forward as a pair of wings burst from your back.

You stretched out your wings to reveal their shimmering, gold and pink hues.

SWISH!

POP!

The talisman formed a small, light pink bow and attached itself to the center of your chest.

More butterflies swirled around you, encasing you in a bright pink cocoon.

FWHEE!

You burst free from the cocoon and struck a pose.

Soon the stars, butterflies, and clouds faded away as you completed your metamorphosis.

“Aww, it’s over already?”

Dib’s eyes nearly burst out of his glasses as his jaw hit the floor.

“Hey! Wait! What just happened?! And who are you?!” Zim demanded as he hopped out of the mech.

“Huh?! It’s me….Um” You trailed off a bit as you begun to debate on whether or not to tell Zim who you truly were,

“Well?! Who are you?”

“I am-”

“Who are you?!”

“I am-”

“Who are you?!”

“I am-”

“Who are you?!”

“I AM…um…Space Butterfly! Yeah I’m Space butterfly! And I’m here to put a stop to..whatever it is you’re trying to do!” You stuttered as you put your hands on your hips.

“Stop me?! HA! I don’t think so!”

And with that, Zim hopped back into the mech.

“BEHOLD MY MISSILE LAUNCHERS!” Zim cackled as he charged up the mech’s lasers.

You let out a scream and crossed your arms in front of yourself to prepare for impact.

POP!

A bright pink barrier appeared around you.

PEW!

PINK!

The mech’s missiles didn’t even touch you.

“What the?! No matter! Have some of this!” Zim sang as he slammed down onto another button.

PEW!

The mech fired a purple laser beam straight for you!

You smirked, pushed out your arms, and held out your hands.

“Try me, you cosmic cockroach! Butterfly..attack..thing!”

POW!

You summoned a massive pink energy blast.

Your pink energy slammed into Zim’s purple laser just moments before it vaporized you.

After a few minutes of struggling, your pink energy overpowered Zim’s laser.

SMACK!

CRASH!

Your energy sent Zim’s laser flying back to him, causing the mech to slam into the wall.

Zim groaned for a moment before pressing a few more buttons.

The mech slowly got up and shook off the debris.

“Now it’s my turn to have some fun!” You sang as you lowered your goggles.

Your goggles helped you lock onto the mech’s weak point as you held your fingers out like a gun.

PEW!

With four quick blasts, the mech was knocked back onto its rear.

“HEY! NO FAIR!” Zim whined as he begun to mash buttons.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

“DANGER, MECH OVERLOADING!” Zim’s computer bellowed.

“BE QUIET!

Zim continued to mash button after button, causing more and more warning sirens to go off.

“Time to put this toy back in its box!” You giggled as you threw your hands above your head.

“Butterfly…energy BLAST!”

A massive ball of bright pink energy swirled in your hands.

FWISH!

SLAM!

CRASH!

The moment the energy ball made contact with Zim’s mech, the room went white.

When the dust settled, all that remained was a defeated Zim sitting in a pile of scrap metal.

Zim groaned and held his throbbing head.

“Ha! Looks like I stopped you after all!” You gloated as you jumped in front of him.

Zim’s PAK sparked a bit as his face turned a darker shade of green.

“Now are we gonna do this the easy way or the hard way?” You smirked as you triumphantly loomed over him.

Zim shook away his infatuation and jumped to his feet.

“Foolish…whatever you are! Do you really think you’ve won?!”

“Um, yeah. I mean, I destroyed your mech. I’m pretty sure you’re done here.”

“HA! What if I told you that my real plan was to…um..Make a mess of the skool cafeteria! Yes! That was my real plan! So HA! In your face!” Zim stuttered as he snapped a finger in your face.

“Sure it was.”

“And now you have to clean up the mess!” Zim cackled as he ran off.

“Coward!” You called after him as you stomped your foot,

#invader zim #Invader Zim x reader #invader zim dib #invader zim dib x reader #magical girl

59 notes · View notes

nikkidee · 8 years ago

Text

Liesey goes on a Bender and Marries a Blender

I dunno if I ever posted this on tumblr as a text post, so here it is!

Liesey killed the Corpse Gorger with a single fireball, pulling out her phone and turning in her report before the behemoth even hit the ground. Honestly, it was a little embarrassing how overpowered she was to complete this mission, but she simply couldn't resist starting her daily mission grind with a quick stop at Kingsmouth to murder a handful of zombies in exchange for a handful of tacos.

“Good job. Your findings fit with what we know about the reanimated dead: they're a total bitch, but you should have no trouble outwitting them tactically.

We're familiar with two types: the recent dead are quicker; the long buried show less spunk, but pose a more significant numbers problem.

The big breed - the corpse gorger - that's not an aberration we've seen before. Either that was the captain of the football team, or we're dealing with some form of mutation.

Ciao-ciao

PS: Congrats on your 1,000th mission. Enjoy your mandatory vacation. Report for briefing.”

Yeah yeah, she’d heard all of this before. She glossed over the report and downloaded her tacos. She took a moment to throw the garbage shotgun that came with it into the bushes-really Liesey? like Kingsmouth needed to be any more dangerous-and then started unwrapping the first of her greasy prizes.

Mmm, yes, tacos.

Wait a second.

What was that?

Liesey read the email again. “Mandatory vacation?” No, no, no that can’t be right.

But it was. It was even in italics. There’s no arguing with italics.

Liesey let out a sigh. So much for her work week. At least she had gotten in one last A Fist Full of Zombies before she had to go. She may as well enjoy her prize.

Liesey ate a taco.

It started to rain.

Liesey ate a taco.

Liesey pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

Liesey smoked a cigarette.

Liesey ate twenty (20) entire tacos and smoked twenty (20) entire cigarettes while sitting on the hood of a crashed cop car in the rain in the middle of a zombie infested hellscape of a north eastern coastal town. And her day was only going downhill from there.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Soon Liesey found herself in the intentionally uncomfortable seats of an Illuminati conference room. She tapped her fingers on the table with annoyance. It’d been almost twenty minutes and no one had showed up yet. Her stomach hurt. Could they hurry this up? She was starting to suspect this was some elaborate prank when the door opened and a very clearly hungover intern shuffled into the room. They plopped a satchel of what was undoubtedly paperwork in front of Liesey and then gingerly set a comically large cup of starbucks down next to it. Liesey reached for the cup and the intern swatted her hand away.

Damn.

The intern grabbed half a dozen pamphlets out of the satchel and spread them out on the table.

“Congratulations on 1,000 missions, please allow me to thank you on behalf the Illuminati for your hard work. However, due to concerns with work related stress and unacceptable high suicide rates, you’ve earned yourself a three day all expense paid vacation to your choice of one of six worldwide locations.” The intern had clearly been forced to memorize this introduction, they prattled the words off in a soulless customer service voice clearly intended to meet the Illuminati’s lowest standards of hospitality and not an iota more, “These are your options. Pick one and let’s get started.” They gestured vaguely at the papers before picking up their drink and taking a long swig.

Her choices were; Rome, Paris, Bangkok, Las Vegas, Amsterdam, and New York.

Liesey tapped her fingers on the table again, this time in thought. If she was stuck going on some stupid vacation she may as well actually enjoy it, right? She could rule out New York almost immediately, she was literally in New York that very second why was that even an option?

She reached out and picked up the pamphlet on Rome, unfolding it to read what exactly this vacation would entail.

It was completely blank inside.

The pamphlet was nothing more than a pretty picture on the front and “Rome” in Microsoft Word word art.

“Look, I didn’t have time to actually make the pamphlets, ok? You’re just going to have to pick one.”

Liesey gaped at the intern for a moment. Seriously? They had one job.

“Okay. Fine. Las Vegas then.” Liesey shrugged, gesturing vaguely at the lie of a pamphlet on the table before her.

“Excellent choice.” They gave what may have actually been a sincere, thankful smile, tucking the pamphlets back into their bag and pulling out a stack of paperwork.

The trip package was, well, surprisingly nice. A stay in a first class suite in a hotel on the strip, unlimited shows, VIP access, the whole nine yards. Liesey had to sign about a million non-disclosure forms and damage waivers, but the sheer lack of caring from both her and the intern made the process speed along nicely.

She was given what the intern called a “Vegas omnipass.” It was a rectangle of paper that was just dripping with magic, the image printed on it morphed in a languid pulse from an elegant Circ de Sole dancer to a scantily clad blonde bombshell to Brit-Brit herself. The intern explained this was Liesey’s ticket to anything she wanted to see in Vegas. She could give the ticket to any business on the strip and it would be accepted as a valid pass. If she reached into her pocket afterward, she would always find it back there.

Liesey spent several minutes staring at the ticket in her left hand and pulling the ticket out of her pocket with the right, trying to catch the transition. She was annoyed to find that she blinked every time and suddenly the ticket had swapped hands. She was in the middle of trying to pull the ticket out of both pockets at once when the intern finally cleared their throat.

“Look I’m not getting paid for this. Can we move on please?”

“Ahem, right.” Liesey nodded, tucking the ticket back in her pocket.

“Your multipass is also a credit card, the Illuminati will cover up to 1 million pax in expenses. Anything over that will be taken out of future paychecks. Also, the first million of any of your casino winnings belongs to us. Only fair, right?”

Liesey nodded, even though that was perhaps the least fair thing ever, her fingers twitching with the desire to try and pull out two tickets again. What if she made a friend? What if she wanted to impress a stripper? Two tickets would be awful handy.

“And that’s about it, any questions?” The intern asked in a tone of voice that suggested they might actually throw themselves out a window rather than actually answer any questions Liesey had.

Which really didn’t matter at all because Liesey had spent the whole end of the explanation thinking about strippers rather than actually paying attention.

“Nope. No questions.”

“Kay, I’ve programmed the anima leap onto your agartha map. Have a great trip.” They punctuated the end of the presentation with a long, loud slurp of their cup of starbucks and waltz out of the conference room.

Liesey would have been offended but she was still too busy thinking about strippers.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

The Illuminati owns the Luxor. Really, Liesey shouldn’t have been surprised. It’s a big black pyramid casino with a gaudy blue light on the top. And the blue man group was based there, seriously? Nothing has ever screamed Illuminati the way the hotel in front of her did. It even had an anima well in the bushes out front. Liesey walked out of the bushes in an outfit that practically screamed witchy hobo, dragging her rolling luggage out of the dirt. No one batted an eye. What a town.

The anima well was approximately ten feet from an outdoor bar serving frozen alcohol slushie concoctions in tall plastic novelty glasses. She ordered herself a large Pina Colada slushie, leaned against a cement planter box, poured another shot of whiskey into her already alcoholic drink, and watched a grown man dressed as pikachu lose a rap battle to a small child on the sidewalk. These were her first ten minutes in Las Vegas. This was also the last time she was sober for the rest of her trip.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Liesey downs a few more drinks as she checks into her room, drops off her luggage, and heads out to take in some shows. First one she queues up for is The Thunder From Down Under, a classy little theatre production about scantily clad australian men. She is relieved her multipass ticket is accepted and she heads into find her seat.

Front row. The Splash Zone.

The Illuminati sure know how to treat a gal.

The show is wonderful.

As is the next show.

And the next.

There’s a point in the night where Liesey has become so drunk she’s not so much picking shows as shambling into lines of people and waiting to be surprised when the curtains rise.

There’s a point in the night where it’s morning now and Liesey has not stopped drinking or going to shows or flirting with strippers or trying to pull out a duplicate multipass.

There’s a point in the morning where Liesey vomits into the lush orchids growing in the Bellagio lobby and it’s this point where she figures maybe she’s had enough.

Enough shows.

She sits down at a restaurant, unsure which restaurant, unsure how exactly she walked here.

She orders pancakes and three bloody marys.

When she pays, she leaves a very generous tip for the cute waitress. It’s supposed to be an apology for the vomit in the orchids, though she’s no longer in the Bellagio and waitresses generally aren’t tasked with cleaning vomit out of orchids. The waitress nearly faints when she sees the $30,000 tip printed out of the receipt. Liesey signs it and leaves with slurred pleasantries and a drunken smile.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

By the end of the second day, Liesey is pretty sure she’s seen every show and sampled every slushie bar in all of the Las Vegas strip. She’s also pretty sure the bees are meddling with her well being because she hasn’t slept, she’s running off pancakes, she’s walked several miles in her drunken wanderings, and she still feels human when she arrives back at her hotel room. She’s been pleasantly oscillating between buzzed and almost too hammered to function with each round of drinks, but she’s pretty sure she smells because the strippers are sitting less and less close to her.

She starts a bath in the comically large bathtub in her suite. She takes off her bohemian layered rags and pulls out a pile of bohemian rags to put on tomorrow.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Liesey has settled into yet another bar for yet another round of drinks, making a game of seeing how many cigarettes she can smoke at one time. The luster is wearing off of Vegas. What does one do alone in Vegas after you’ve seen all the shows? Gambling is a bore to her. She lets out a sigh, or rather a large cloud of smoke, wondering to herself if maybe her last day in Vegas was going to be a boring one.

And then a man is being thrown over the bar beside her, crashing into the wall of expensive liquor bottles.

Liesey, and the entire bar in fact, turns to look first at the man crying behind the bar and then in the direction he came from. There stood a lone figure, tall, confident, pink haired.

She walked up to the bar, and Liesey gave her a once over. The woman was wearing an absurdly colorful ensemble, impeccably matched. This was not a subtle woman.

“I’d like a drink please” She asked the bartender, sitting down smoothly on a barstool.

The bartender stared, dumbfounded for a moment, “I’m afraid I can’t mix you one.”

“Why not?” She asked, still eerily polite.

“Because you’ve used a man to smash all of my alcohol.”

“Ah. I see. I should have foreseen this. Next time I will throw pickpockets out the window instead of over the bar. My sincerest apologies.” With that she stood and walked smoothly out of the bar.

The police showed up moments later. Liesey slipped out of the bar after the pink haired stranger.

Liesey trailed the stranger to yet another bar. They sat down together. If the stranger noticed she had been followed, she didn’t show it.

“Lemme buy you a drink,” Liesey said as the bartender gave them a nod to let them know she’d be over to them soon.

“If you like,” The woman gave her a mild, absent smile.

“What’s your name?”

“Hana, and you?”

“You can call me Liesey.”

Liesey ordered them both some fruity colorful shot, inspired by the woman’s, by Hana’s attire. They both take the shot in unison. It’s as sweet as it is strong, a triple at least. Liesey feels it pretty quickly.

“So what do you do for a living?” Hana asks, picking up the slack in small talk.

Liesey chuckled, tilting her drink in circle idly, “I work for the Illuminati, of course” She winked like it was a grand joke. Really, her time at the Illuminati sort of was a joke.

“Ah, how unfortunate. I work for the Dragon.”

She said it so casually, but Liesey still couldn’t stop a gasp, turning to look at the woman next to her with blatant shock. Seriously? She was a secret worlder too? What were the goddamn odds? Well, I guess it was Vegas. Certainly explained how she threw a man across a bar. Then, as she fishing her fallen cigarette out of her lap, the actual words sunk in.

“Wait, what do you mean unfortunate.” Liesey gave a look of mock indignance.

“Well, green and blue aren’t supposed to get along, correct?”

“Hey, babe, I’m on vacation. I can get along with whoever I like.” Liesey winked, shocked at her own audacity. Was she seriously flirting with a Dragon? Maybe she had a few too many drinks?

She ordered another.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Liesey leaned heavy on Hana’s arm as they stumbled out of the bar. The light of a neon sign of a shabby wedding chapel graced her eyeballs.

“Oh. My. God. Hana.”

“What?”

“We should get married.”

Hana shrugged. “Yeah, ok.”

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Hana refused to simply waltz into one of the seedy wedding chapels scattered around the strip. No, she was a woman with standards. She was also, it turned out, a woman who carried a giant poofy blue and pink ball gown on her person. Liesey opted for her trendy hobo look.

Liesey let her fluffy pink fiance lead the way as they wandered the strip looking for a place to get married, taking in the blurry neon lights and discordant music bleeding from a dozen different casinos at once. She let herself be guided through the shimmering night, riding high on fresh love.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

“Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today,” Elvis had to yell the ceremony to be heard over the roar of the roller coaster. Hana and Liesey were strapped in side by side, with Elvis strapped in backwards facing them.

“I do!” Liesey shouted.

“I do!” Hana chimed in, batting her dress poofs out of her face.

“Not time for that yet, babies.” Elvis gave them a wink and continued.

Liesey wasn’t listening. Every drop of the rollercoaster had her screaming and waving her arms. The air smelled like popcorn. The sounds of delighted children’s screams wafted up between the rattling of the tracks. The lights of the surrounding casino’s swirled on the edges of her vision.

Elvis’s yelling paused for a moment, and Liesey figured this was the end of the vows.

“I do!” Liesey shouted.

“I do!” Hana chimed in.

“Do you remember your vows?”

“No!” Liesey shouted with joy.

Elvis chuckled, “Alright sugar, then you know what it’s time for?”

Liesey grinned impossibly wider.

“Do you, Liesey, take you, Hana, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?” “I do!” Liesey shouted.

Elvis held up a hand to stop Hana before she could chime in.She waited, mouth open.

“Do you, Hana, take you, Liesey, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

“I do!” Hana shouted.

“I do!” Liesey shouted again for good measure.

“I do!” Hana repeated after her.

“I do!”

Elvis held up a hand to stop their excited chanting. Elvis could only ride this roller coaster so many times in one night.

“Do you have the rings?”

“I do.” Hana gave Elvis a smirk that reminded Liesey exactly why they were getting married.

She handed a box to Liesey and pressed it into her palm for several seconds, making extra sure that Liesey had a grip on it before she let go. They waited for the calm lull as the coaster went past the loading platform before they opened their ring boxes and took out the rings. Hana smoothly guided her finger onto the ring held wobbly in Liesey’s drunken fingers, then delicately took Liesey’s hand in her own and slid her ring on. The movement was flawless, despite the coaster guttering up the chain to the first drop. They smiled gently at each other and then went in for the kiss.

Again, Elvis interrupted. “Not so fast little ladies! Let me finish!”

There was two good natured eye rolls.

“By the power vested in me by the State of Nevada, I now pronounce you wife and wife.” Elvis yelled, giving his best attempted at a windmill around his safety straps. “You may now kiss the bride!”

And they did. Their first kiss was awkwardly clambering around bulky safety restraints while a rollercoaster went down it’s deepest drop. If Hana minded Liesey literally screaming into her mouth, she didn’t show it.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

The next morning Liesey woke with her an aching head snuggled against something. Against someone.

Just how drunk did she get last night?

Her finger itched.

She was wearing a ring.

So that was how drunk she got last night.

Her bed partner stirred.

“Oh, you’re awake.” Hana said. Hana. That much came back to her at least. Hana’s voice felt like a glass of cold water. It was somehow soothing, just hearing her speak.

Maybe she was still drunk.

“Good morning,” She sat up, looking down at her new wife.

“Good morning.” Hana smiled at her.

And then Liesey noticed her arm was gone.

Or rather, her arm was detached and sitting in her lap, still moving.

Liesey screamed, throwing off the sheets and backing away.

Hana tried to follow, holding her arm in her other hand, reaching out in concern.

“What the hell is that? Why is your arm off?”

“I’m a robot. Remember?” Hana stated flatly, immediately losing any look of concern she had. She hooked her arm back into it’s socket and closed up the panel she had been working on.

“You’re a robot?!”

“I have twenty seven different vibration settings. How did you not notice?”

Liesey flushed, “I uh, don’t remember that at all.”

Hana scowled. She had never been so insulted in her, admittedly rather short, life.

“Wait, but if you’re a robot how did you get drunk?”

“I didn’t”

“What?!” Liesey stared, dumbfounded, “Then how did we get married? Why didn’t you stop us?”

Hana shrugged casually, “Seemed like fun.”

“Getting married at 4 AM to a stranger you met at a bar only a few hours before, that’s your idea of fun?”

“Yes.” Hana nodded as if this were all very obvious.

“Bwaa--” Liesey sputtered, holding her hands out in supplication. Why? Who let this happen to her? What had she done to deserve this?

“Did you not have fun? We rode a rollercoaster and everything. The police showed up at our wedding. It was great.”

Liesey held a hand to her throbbing temple. She crumbled to the floor of the suite, leaning against the wall.

“Did you not have fun?” Hana repeated.

Liesey sighed. She had to admit, from what pieces of the night she remembered, she did have fun. An alarming amount of fun really. “Yeah, alright. I guess I did have fun.”

Hana gave Liesey another one of those calm smiles, but this one was tinged with worry.

“So, are we getting a divorce?” Hana asked.

Liesey shrugged, “No, I guess not. Until this starts causing problems, we can stay married.”

Hana gave her a look of genuine relief and delight. “Oh good. I was looking forward to being Mrs. Hana Delacoeur.”

Liesey couldn’t help but smile back. This was the weirdest, dumbest, most ridiculous thing she had ever done in her entire life, and she honestly couldn’t wait to see how this horrible mistake was going to unfold.

#tsw #swl #the secret world #bad fic #my fic

4 notes · View notes

elasianstar · 7 years ago

Text

the world on a turtle’s back chapter 3

All that week Raph avoided me, if I was in the living room he was in the dojo, and if I tried to go see him in the dojo he would disappear to his room, Addie right on his heels. Heavy metal music seemed to blare the whole time, was he maintaining a synthetic emotion?

I had taught him the technique as a way to calm down, utilizing his empathy as a way to consciously manipulate his emotions. He was using it to keep himself angry.

“Is he like this even when I'm gone?”

Donnie barely looked up from the repairs he was making to the blender, Mikey had burned it out trying to make pizza smoothies.

“Off and on, I've never seen him like this before. I mean the avoiding people is normal for him, but the music is new.”

He pushed the button on the machine and the blades whirled to life.

“Try talking to Leo, he deals with Raph more than any of us.”

I headed to the dojo where I found Leo practicing with his blades. He was shadow fighting against some unseen enemy and was lost in his own mind. Moving to grab a sword off the wall I started practicing my own style while I waited. Facing one of the sturdier training dummies I got down into a fencing pose and started practicing my attacks, the tip of the blade making shallow punctures in the chest, head, and neck of the form and the edge of the blade carving heavy notches from the surface. I could hear Raphael's music and after a while my motions became dance like, smoothly moving from one target to another as my body twisted and turned in a delicate yet ferocious pasodoble. Having finished his exercise I noticed Leo watching me, his eyes scanning for holes in my technique and storing away elements of the western style that he may be able to use in his own combat encounters.

At the end of one song I turned to him, raising my blade in a taunt as the next drum and guitar riffs started.

Our motions started somewhat slow, blows matched and blocked with ease before speeding up drastically. Steel crashed against steel in a matching rhythm to the enraged cadence of the song. Western techniques and eastern disciplines began to meld as we each attempted to adopt the other's style.

Somehow I'm still here to explain That the darkest hour never comes in the night You can sleep with a gun When you gonna wake up and fight? I created the sound of madness Wrote the book on pain somehow I'm still here to explain That the darkest hour never comes in the night You can sleep with a gun When you gonna wake up and fight? For yourself? When you gonna wake up and fight, for yourself? When you gonna wake up and fight, for yourself? When you gonna wake up and fight, for yourself? For yourself?

When the last beat left the lair in silence we both stood there panting, blade tips resting on the dojo floor.

“not bad.”

“if your katana had a larger guard on it you could block and parry more effectively at angles when the flat of the blade wouldn't be effective.”

“is that why the base of your blade looks like a sai?”

“there's a reason they're called sword breakers, it makes it easier to lever your opponent's blade and wrench it from their grip.”

Another song started and Leo looked at me like he was asking if I was up for a round two.

“I actually wanted to talk to you, I just got distracted.”

Nodding we both put our swords away and moved to a quieter room off the dojo. It had a large tree growing in the center and up into the ceiling. Hanging lanterns cast a hazy light through the thick smoke of incense.

“What is the problem Elasia?”

“It's Raph, he hasn't so much as looked at me in a week and he keeps playing such violent and heated music when I come over. I'm wondering if you knew what was up, if I did anything wrong?”

He motioned for me to sit on one of the plush cushions on the ground. I chose the red one as he sat on the blue.

“Raph gets into these moods sometimes where he just wallows in his own anger. It usually means he is beating himself up about something. He did this for three weeks once when Donnie was seriously hurt during a fight with the purple dragons. He blamed himself and couldn't get over the guilt so he acted in anger. I doubt anything you've done has triggered this episode. He usually doesn't use music though.”

“I taught him that, he was supposed to be using calm music to relieve his anger episodes but he’s using this to prolong them. I know what he's doing and he knows it. I can't help but think that something I did caused this.”

“I don't think it's your fault Elasia, these things tend to blow over sooner or later.”

“But you didn't see, you don't know about…”

“I don't know about what?”

I shook my head, “never mind, forget I said anything. Thanks for helping me think through this.”

I had to do something about this, what if he thinks I'm…no he would never.

Moving to the kitchen I set to work, searching mikey’s unusual organizational layout for ingredients and cooking utensils. Mikey tried to butt in seeing as I had intruded on his kitchen but I managed to talk him down from trying to take over. I had to do this. An hour later I walked out of the kitchen with a plate of chocolate chip cookies in hand, I left the extras on a platter for the other three boys before I approached Raphael's door.

Knocking didn't earn me a response so I quietly cracked open the door and slid the cookies inside with a note before leaving for home.

…

RAPHAEL’S POV

I smelled them shortly after I heard the door quickly open and shut. A plate of warm homemade cookies. After I was sure she had left I hit the power button on my stereo and moved cautiously toward the plate. On top of the pile sat a note, scribbled in her messy handwriting.

“Whatever I did I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. You don't have to keep making yourself angry….I hope I see you tomorrow night for training.

-Enjoy the peace offering

Elasia”

She thought she did this, no she was fine! Perfect, it's me that's the problem!

She thought that she’d done something to upset me. God she’s probably been worrying over it all week, and I just made it worse!

Putting down the plate my fist made a connection with the curved wall, leaving another of several craters in the cement. Falling back on my bed hard enough to hear the struts creak I lay there for a minute. I had to go to see her tomorrow, to sort all of this out. But how could I without sounding like either an uncaring prick or a sappy douchebag. Looking over at the plate I snagged a cookie and bit into it, the chocolate was still warm and gooey. She baked these for me to apologize even though she had no idea what was wrong.

How could a cookie be delicious and bitter? I forced myself to eat the whole plate and sent myself to a night in the hashi in silence.

Leo Mikey and Donnie looked on confused while I balanced on the steel seat of the tricycle, needles in hand as I started to work. Master splinter simply watched, that same knowing look as always. After several hours he called me down into the meditation room.

“Raphael my son, what has been troubling you so much as to cause you to punish yourself so?”

“It's nothing master splinter.”

He stroked his beard and motioned for me to sit on my cushion in front of him.

“If it were nothing I wouldn't have caught you knitting a small black and gold backless sweater.”

…

The next night after patrol I packed up my peace offering and left for Elasia’s rooftop. But before I got there i stopped, hiding behind an air conditioning unit on the next roof over.

“Sento nell'aria il profumo di te,

Piccoli sogni vissuti con me

Ora lo so

Non voglio perderti.

Quella dolcezza cosí senza etá,

La tua bellezza rivali non ha

Il cuore mio

Vuole soltanto te.

Per te, per te vivró

L'amore vincerá

Con te, con te avró

Mille giorni di felicitá

Mille notti di serenitá

Faró quello che mi chiederai

Andró sempre dovunque tu andrai

Daró tutto l'amore che ho

Per te”

She was dancing on the rooftop staring up at the moon with wide eyes while she sang. her movements were precise yet mournful as her flowing white blouse blew in the moonlit air. it was... “Dimmi che tu giá il futuro lo sai

Dimmi che questo non finirá mai

Senza di te

Non voglio esistere

Per te, per te vivró

L'amore vincerá

Con te, con te avró

Mille giorni di felicitá

Mille notti di serenitá

Faró quello che mi chiederai

Andró sempre dovunque tu andrai

Daró tutto l'amore che ho

Per te”

I could feel the pain from her gripping my chest, like fingernails digging into my heart as she moved. her voice was low and wavering, a second purer tune barely noticeable on the breeze. It was...

“Non devo dirtelo ormai giá lo sai

Che morirei senza di te

Per te, per te vivró

L'amore vincerá

Con te, con te faró

Tutto quello che mi chiederai

Andró sempre dovunque tu andrai

Daró tutto l'amore che ho

Per te”

Her form was frozen in a pose of longing, her eyes never leaving the sky as she shone brighter than the stars. She is beautiful...

...

After the song ended she moved to sit on the edge of her building, still looking up at the sky.

“I don't know what to do mom. All these years, lifetimes.”

She held her heart in her hands, darkness swirled with gold, something in me lurched, begging me to go to her. When she heard my landing on the roof however she acted like she had simply been sitting there, waiting.

“Hey.”

I dropped my eyes, looking down at my feet.

“Hi.”

“Do...Do you want to sit down and join me?”

I couldn't speak so I just sat next to her on the ledge and pushed the package into her lap.

“what's…”

“a peace offerin.”

She tore open the newspaper I had messily wrapped it in and pulled the sweater out. Lifting it up as she moved it around, watching the lights catch the swirls of golden yarn.

“this is beautiful Raphael, thank you.”

I couldn't feel much from her anymore but I could tell that she meant a lot more.

“are ya ready ta get back ta trainin?”

She tucked the sweater back into its paper and moved to lead me back to the middle of the roof where she set out the same blanket and cushions as last time.

“I'm ready if you are, lay down and we'll go over emotional sensation again.”

…

After a few hours I could tell something was on her mind other than the training exercises. She kept looking away from me whenever I would try and make eye contact. Her eyes instead darting down to her hands where she was spinning the green ring she always wore.

“Whaz on ya mind Myōjō?”

“where did that nickname come from?”

I shrugged, looking up at her from where I was sprawled across the cushions.

“How ya treat my brother's like they're your own, like you've gotta look after em. and how ya fight in the dojo, even Mikey’s half again as big as ya and still ya take them on like it's nothing. Yer tough even tho ya look like such a tiny breakable little thing, you’ve got spark. Do you know what it means?”

She smiled a little, tucking her hair behind her ear. “It means guiding star, it's also the japanese name for the planet venus as its seen on the horizon.”

“Somethin’s eatin ya.”

“It's stupid, and it's over anyway.”

“It ain't stupid if it's makin ya upset.”

“Why did you keep running off? Sunday night we were having so much fun and you just left for no reason. Then all week every time I got close to you you'd run away like all you wanted to do was get away from me. Did I do something to upset you? Am I really so much of a monster that it took bribing you with cookies to get you to even come see me tonight? I know I'm strange and different and I…”

“Elasia, ya aren't strange and ya aren't a monster. Look at me. I'm a 6’8" humanoid turtle fuh Pete's sake! If anyone is a monster on this roof it's me.”

“You wouldn't even know…”

“Then tell me, whaddaya think makes ya such a monster?”

Her appearance shifted, her skin becoming pale like moonlight again, silver markings swirling around her arms. Little golden horns sprouted from her hair, double points making her look like an owl. Her eyes shone solid gold, not even the whites or the pupils showing. When she spoke her usually protruding canines were sharp points crossing from each jaw like the teeth of a cat glistening with a clear substance that shone like an oil slick.

“look at me and tell me I'm not a monster, I'm not even a real Avi, I look like a hodgepodge mix between an avi and a troll. I'm violent, I'm bossy….”

“Stop.”

Her eyes snapped to mine in surprise.

“Yer not a monster, you're the first person outside a my family who looked at me and saw more than a furious beast. You’ve helped me and my brothers countless times in the month we've known ya, healin us, feedin us, teachin us. You showed us a world where we fit, where people don't look at us and scream n run. Yer my fuckin friend and I sure as hell don't deserve ya Elasia!”

She just looked at me for a good several moments before wrapping her arms around me and pressing her face against my plastron where I felt a small drop of wetness form. Patting her on the head gently I stayed quiet as I felt her sadness and relief wash through me, emotions her face wouldn't show.

She was strong, and she was beautiful.

…

ELASIA’S POV

We cut training short tonight, instead sitting on the roof together and talking through everything and nothing.

Well almost everything, I didn't mention how my soul kept pulling me toward him. Making me want to stare into his green gold eyes and lean in to… no. We're just friends.

After we talked for a while Raph helped me move everything back down into the apartment and fix up the couch, replacing the cushions, while I made snacks and set up a movie.

“How does dragon heart sound?”

“Never heard of it.”

I faked a gasp, clutching the well worn tape to my chest!

“How could you not know dragon heart! It's only the best movie of 1996, the year I was hatched!”

“Not many movies are salvageable in the junkyard, and I didn't peg ya as older than me.”

“Well I guess that's understandable. Wait, older than you, how old are you Raph?”

“Me and Don Just turned 21 on March 4th, It was an early spring hatch.”

“Well you aren't much younger than me I turned 21 last December 6th, only four months. I'm older than you anyway if you count from my first hatching.”

“I'm afraid to ask.”

“winter 10,003 BC if my calculations are correct, time keeping wasn't the best back then. But that's just on earth, don't even get me started on Alternia.”

“Woah, woah wait. 12000 years and another planet?”

I tossed him a sketchbook from my bookshelf.

“Yep, that's Alternia. I only lived one life there, 6 sweeps but I was the best laughsassin in the training academy.”

He looked through portrait after portrait of a strange nocturnal landscape lit by two moons, one green and one purple. Stopping on a picture of three purple clad trolls with long corkscrewed orange horns he looked up at me with a questioning glance.

“That’s my adoptive family, they raised me during my first life. The big one with the beastly face paint is High blood, my father i guess. The tall skinny guy with the skull paint is my oldest brother Kurloz, and the dorky looking clown is my big brother Gamzee. I still see them from time to time when they come to the surface for holidays.”

The look he gave me just said explain.

“They apparently helped create this universe and this planet after Alternia was destroyed and i died the first time. now they live as godlike creatures known as players. They took on the form of capricorns so they live in the depths of the ocean. It's a long story, oh do you want to see what I looked like when I was a troll baby? I don't look like that when I hatch anymore but it was pretty wicked.”

I flipped to a page containing a picture of a large grub like creature with a humanoid face. Bright gold eyes and body marked with black streaks. Tiny gold horns stuck out from black wavy hair over a familiar round white face.

Raph’s eyes widened in fear as he scrambled off the side of the couch.

“What the fuck is that thing?!”

I laughed at where he was attempting to hide, peering over the arm of the couch.

“That is me, when I was a baby troll grub hatched on Alternia.”

“Ok I take it back, you're a fuckin demon.”

“But I'm still your friend, now get your scaly ass up here and watch the movie with me.”

…

The next week and a half were a rough one, almost every night the boys were calling me down for some serious battle related injury or another, the purple dragons were getting creative and the boys were having trouble keeping up. They may be near entirely bulletproof but shells crack and bones still break. I was spending every minute that I wasn't at work down at the lair, healing turtles, recuperating after said healings, or just hanging out and training. By the end of the week I had held all four of their souls in my hands due to the need for a serious healing.

Leonardo’s was a deep ocean blue that swirled with silver reminiscent of waves.

Donatello’s was dark forest green and layered with soft silver leaf patterns.

Mikey's was bright happy yellow and radiated light like a little sun, giving off the sensation of gusts of wind when touched.

And I already knew Raphael's soul, a deep burgundy that burned with gold and cherry red flame.

The boys had even made me my own room. well actually it was April's but after she married Casey she didn't spend the night at the lair anymore, only coming down to visit during the day a few times a week.

They had each given me a decorative item for the space and let me make it my own. Mikey had painted a big pop art winged heart on the door, Leo gave me a picture of all four brothers in the Japanese art of ink painting Suiboku-ga, Donnie made me a stand lamp out of old scraps of metal and colored glass, and Raphael had knitted a whole new set of blankets for the bed in black and gold swirls. They needed something to do when I kept them in bed to heal.

They had effectively brought me into their little makeshift family. But in the meantime they were running themselves ragged, but I had a plan. I had already talked it through with splinter and we were good to go.

…

That Friday I showed up at the lair long before the evening patrol, pulling a large van into the shell shop. When I got downstairs the boys were just waking up for the night. Mikey had made pancakes for the three sleepy turtles at the table, of the four it figured it was him who was the morning...turtle.

Leo was dozing off over the paper, Donnie was guzzling black coffee so fast I'm surprised his tongue wasn't boiled, and Raph was staring into space while his nails scratched another design into the wooden tabletop, bandages wrapped around his left arm where he had been injured in last night's battle.

“Up and at em sleepyheads! Pack your bags for a week, we're going on vacation!”

“huh?”

Leo looked at me with glazed eyes while what I said tried to register in his mind.

“I said get off your shells and get packed, I've already talked it over with master splinter and I've got a week off work. You're all coming to my home in the country!”

“Woooh vacation!!!! Do they have goats and chickens in the country? I saw some at a petting zoo in central park, they're so cool!”

“Yes Mikey, now go get your stuff!”

“I don't know about this Elasia, I have so many projects and repairs to…”

“Donatello…..”

By now he knew the mom look.

“Yes ma’am. Come on Leo.”

Donnie drug his semi conscious brother toward their rooms.

Raph was still staring off into space, not paying attention to a word I said, so I thumped him in the head hard.

“What was that for!”

“go get packed Raph, get your head out of the clouds...Angel.”

That got his attention, scowling he thumped off toward his room. But I could tell it was all for show. On the table was a carving of a feather, in near perfect detail.

About 30 minutes later each of the boys were standing in the main living area with a duffel bag in each of their corresponding colors.

“alright, everyone got everything? Just a few rules before we go. No one leaves the van until we get there, once we’re there no serious training, only for fun, I'm looking at you Leo. No projects or tech other than t-phones, Donnie?”

He dumped the second bag he had on his back onto the couch with a huff.

“No fighting in the car, Does everyone understand?”

Nods all around

“Good, we're going to a very large safe zone but the area is going to be unlike anything you've ever seen. If you are unsure of anything ASK, be it an area that could be inhabited by humans or a snake you're wondering could be venomous. It's better you bother me than make a dangerous decision. Now everyone in the van, we have a long drive ahead of us.”

The boys said a quick goodbye to splinter and Raph said a short bye to Andromeda before they all headed for the shop. As I went to follow splinter stopped me by grabbing my hand.

“Take care of them Elasia, they may be men now but they are still inexperienced in the ways of the larger world.”

I bowed my head and placed my fist over my heart.

“I give you my word, they'll be safe.”

“Now, go have fun.”

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #the world on a turtle's back #raphael tmnt #Elasia OC #per te

0 notes