#blitd | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ttptsd · 12 years ago

Text

arms

crappy, unedited, written in two hours really quick Barbie/Raquelle fic cause I wanted to write something and these two were just mentally begging me like "plastic fictional lesbians is the way to go" and I gave in

dedicated to Lisa because she's the only one that understands me

arms

the three times Raquelle hugged Barbie goodbye, and the one time she didn't

I hope that you see right through my walls I hope that you catch me, cause I'm already falling I'll never let a love get so close you put your arms around me and I'm home

one.

The first time, the airport is a bustle of people and faces, passing carts and almost tripping over luggage as it zips by behind strangers pulling it. Raquelle and the others are on their way to Barbie's gate, for her vacation with Ken, which he gave her to celebrate their anniversary - their actual anniversary, of the three years they've been dating, not just the "three month anniversary of our first all-night phone call!" or something ridiculous like that, which Barbie always seems to be intent on celebrating. She's meeting Ken at the gate, and she said goodbye to her sisters at home; right now, it's just Barbie, Nikki, Teresa, and Raquelle.

When they reach the gate, Barbie waves at Ken excitedly and rushes over to him, kissing him on the cheek. Despite how well-rehearsed she may be at hiding her jealousy, Raquelle still feels her stomach lurch. "Ready to go?" Ken asks.

"Yes! I can't wait!" She pulls her arm from around Ken's shoulder and steps back over to her friends. She hugs Nikki and Teresa first, and then pauses in front of Raquelle. "Do you... want a hug?" Barbie asks, almost as though she's cautiously approaching a caged lion at the zoo, and Raquelle shrugs, pretending to be indifferent as she feels her heartbeat rise in her chest.

"Sure." So Barbie swoops in to hug her and her breath catches in her throat, and Barbie's hair smells like everything she is, pink and plastic and strawberries and fairy dust, and new and blonde and beautiful as it flutters up against Raquelle's chin. She squeezes Barbie's back because she knows this may be the only chance she ever gets to imagine what it feels like to hold Barbie, and when they pull away a moment later, she tries to hide the airy feeling behind her eyes, looks away quickly and mutters, "Have a good trip." and watches as Barbie and Ken step through the gate and wave goodbye.

She doesn't tell anyone, but she tries to memorize the smell of Barbie's hair, she tries to memorize the feeling of Barbie's chest pressed warm against her own, of Barbie's arms on her back, of Barbie's hair on her chin. She doesn't tell anyone, but every time she closes her eyes, she can see Barbie's cheek and feel her hug and smell her hair. She never forgets.

two.

This time, Raquelle isn't ready. She isn't ready when Barbie informs her and the others that her Aunt Millie is very sick, and that she'll be flying to Paris for a few weeks to take care of her. Ken and Skipper can handle looking after the younger sisters and the pets while she's gone, and Chelsea, Stacey, and Skipper are more honestly more concerned about their aunt's health than they are about being without their sister for a few weeks, but the goodbye is bittersweet nonetheless. Raquelle chokes back a tear as she watches Chelsea hug her sister one last time and walk away, and then Barbie says goodbye to Nikki and Teresa, and then Raquelle wonders why she is always last, and then she remembers Ken.

Barbie doesn't hug her as tight as she did the first time, but Raquelle can sense how frail and scared she is underneath the perfect smile she flashes as she pulls out of the quick hug. "Barbie, wait," Raquelle begs as Barbie is about to step away. She meets Barbie's eyes, those damn perfect blue eyes, and her stomach does a flip before she remembers what she was going to say.

"They'll be okay without you, okay? Your Aunt is gonna be fine. Your... happy spirit will probably nourish her back to health right away without any medicine." She smiles reassuringly, putting a hand on Barbie's arm awkwardly; she isn't very good at this whole 'comforting people' thing.

Barbie smiles, and it's a sad smile, but it's so much more real than the one she gave a minute ago, and Raquelle watches a tear roll down Barbie's cheek and she can't, no, before she realizes what she's doing she has reached out and brushed the cheek from Barbie's face with her thumb. She simply can't bring herself to watch that perfect girl cry without doing anything about it, even with everyone standing there watching them.

"You really think so?" Barbie asks.

Raquelle nods, smiling. "It would for me, if I were sick," she replied honestly. She knew it was true; if all her sick days were spent with Barbie, she would never need another cold pill again in her life.

Barbie hugs her again, and this time it's tighter and it's real and she can feel Barbie sigh against her, enveloped in the comfort. She can't believe that she's the one comforting Barbie, and really, she would give all her time and her entire life to comfort Barbie, if it meant Barbie wouldn't be sad anymore and it would be because of her, because that is all she has ever wanted. She adds this hug to her list of 'things to think about when I am falling asleep and trying to convince myself not to think about Barbie', right next to that other hug from the first time.

Barbie smiles at her again and whispers, "Thank you," and walks over to kiss her boyfriend goodbye.

Two and a half weeks later, Barbie comes back. Her aunt is fine. But Ken is still the first person she runs to when she gets off the plane.

three.

Raquelle can do this, she thinks. She can play the part of 'sarcastic, secretly-happy-for-you friend' when Ken proposes. She can help Nikki and Teresa throw a Barbie-worthy Bachelorette party. She can even stand as a bridesmaid with the others and watch Chelsea sprinkle flowers down the aisle and watch Barbie come towards her in a wedding dress and pretend for a brief, fleeting moment that that beautiful bride is marrying her before Ken steps forward and takes her hand, and the pastor pronounces them husband and wife. She can even shed a tear and pretend that, like everyone else's, it's one of happiness, and not one of utter loss and complete miserable despair.

She can watch as the girl of her dreams becomes someone else's. Yes, absolutely. She's had years of training in hiding her feelings for Barbie. This one was a snap.

It's the honeymoon goodbye she can't do. So she doesn't. She guesses that no one will notice. Midge is all a happy frenzy when she catches Barbie's bouquet, and everyone is too busy stuffing themselves with cake and hugging Barbie and Ken to watch as Raquelle slips away from the crowd, watches from the sidelines as Barbie says goodbye to everyone but her. "Where's Raquelle?" She hears Barbie ask, but she doesn't come out of her hiding spot. There's no use.

"Raquelle! I want to say goodbye! Where'd you go?"

No, Raquelle convinces herself, looking down at the strikingly hideous magenta bridesmaid dress she had somehow been talked into wearing - anything for Barbie, of course - no, she can't do this. She has to stay away.

"There she is!" Nikki calls, rushing towards her. "What are you doing over there? Barbie's leaving, you have to say goodbye!" She tugs Raquelle by the arm until she is unwillingly thrust through the crowd of people trying to bid Barbie and Ken farewell.

"Oh, good!" Barbie says, grinning. She quickly pulls Raquelle into a hug. It's not as nice as the others were; Raquelle is squished by the wedding dress and Barbie's overly done-up hair smells more like hairspray and wedding cake and not as much like strawberries and happiness as it usually does, but it's a hug where Raquelle gets to rest her chin on Barbie's bare shoulders, thanks to the strapless dress, and the touch of Barbie's skin alone on her chin and neck makes her breath hitch. "Bye, sweetie," Barbie whispers.

Raquelle doesn't even snark 'don't call me sweetie' the way she's probably expected to; she just smiles and pretends to be happy for her friend as she lets her go, and replays the way Barbie's voice sounds calling her 'sweetie' over and over again.

Barbie gets into the pink limo a minute later and waves goodbye and blows kisses and sits next to her new husband happily and meets Raquelle's eyes through the window and grins wider and more genuine than Raquelle has ever seen before. Raquelle keeps that, because that may be all she gets.

one.

She's taking off. That's it, she can't do this. She could live around them dating. But she could never live around them married. Not now, when she knows for certain she will never have a chance.

Ryan will be fine on his own. He's old enough she should be able to move out without having to worry about her whiny brother being his whiny self. It'll probably be much more peaceful without him, anyway.

It'll be much more peaceful without anyone, anyway.

The note she leaves Ryan on the kitchen counter reads:

Going off on my own, moving somewhere new. Kinda getting sick of this place. I'll call you. Have fun without me, Bro. Stay out of trouble.

-Rrrraquelle

The note that she leaves on Barbie's doorstep, sealed in a pink envelope with 'Barbie' written on the front in her best handwriting, reads:

Barbie,

I couldn't stay here anymore, because it hurts too much watching you and Ken be happy together every day. I know, you've been happy together for so long, you'd think I'd be used to it by now. But you being married is different. I just thought I'd let you know, because if I don't say this now, I'll never say it. I love you. Always have, always will. I wish you only the happiest in life. You being happy makes me happy. Oh, and sorry for being a bitch all those years. I'm kinda bad at conveying my real emotions.

Love,

-Raquelle

#barbie life in the dreamhouse #blitd #braquelle #fanfiction #kyan pepper #viv writes

121 notes · View notes