#bones babbles

[bonefries]

Wanted to show off this cool new thing to my fellow hellsing besties out there. Here is the original frame plus the sketch for comparison.

[berryheartsclub]

Just wanna be able to collapse into someone’s arms and have them hold me very tight and feel safe and warm

[bonefall]

I found a black crystal during the eclipse

[enden-k]

taru, somewhere in the waters for who knows how long after he broke out from underwater jail, possibly reliving abyss trauma or smth, while fontaine is about to be flooded :

"yea hell be fine"

my bbg falling and scraping the entirety of his ass in a tournament :

[iamthebonecarver]

The priory of the orange tree should really be referred to as “Arteloth Beck’s great journey into the unknown of atheism.”

[samipekoe]

I hadn’t realized how much I missed melon and lemon until I saw them again… they were the reason I discovered your account I love them sso much (same thing for their emotional support wingman oreo)

yes my dumb idiot cat!! thank you!!!!

[bonebabbles]

God the new ultimate guide sucks

It's not JUST the awful art, either. The art's just worth mentioning because even if the book's info had been terrible or contained nothing new, really cute art can make it still worth having.

But, no, it's even full of recycled lines we've been hearing for years like "Bramblestar Can Match Squirrelflight's Fire Not Contain It," and that's when it DOES get everything right. These entries leave out major, important details (making them bad summaries) and are sometimes even straight-up incorrect.

SUMMARY THOUGHTS

Leafpool is said to have watched Brambleclaw kill Hawkfrost to save Firestar-- but for one, no, she was not there because Ashfur was still leading her and Squilf towards the scene. For two, no, Brambleclaw did not kill Hawkfrost just to save Firestar, it was self-defense. Hawkfrost had him pinned and was going to kill him.

They're REAL cute about Leafpool's death, too, neglecting to mention WHY the Sisters needed to be saved at all and just saying Leafpool's "generosity" lead to her death in that cave-in.

I'm not even going to get into everything on Bramble's entry jesus christ.

Sagewhisker's entry is ESPECIALLY fucken' dandy, framing Yellowfang's Secret like she was simply waiting patiently for Yellow to realize her 'destiny' and not actively shoving it on her at every opportunity.

Leopardstar's entry states that romantic interest in Tigerstar was part of her motivation. "Perhaps she'd hoped he would be her mate" please speak to a woman irl for once in your life.

Gray Wing's entry forgot that the reason he "blamed himself" for Bright Stream's death is because he was literally staring at his big strong brother too much and tripped on a root in front of him. It IS his fault she died.

Clear Sky/Skystar's entry is just obscene. "He regretted abandoning his son and after a fire, he encouraged him to live with him" instead of "saw his teenage child was useful now and bullied and belittled the kid and his uncle into letting Thunder come with him." "Retaining his fierceness towards his cats and outsiders which caused his son to leave" instead of "murdering, brutalizing, and abusing everyone around him caused Thunder to leave." I'll just say this tho; "Fierce" is an interesting way to spell "Cruel."

It's interesting that they don't point out that a major part of Jagged Peak's arc was proving he was "Just As Good" as every other cat in spite of his disability, thanks to his introduced-and-pregnant-in-the-same-book wife becoming his life coach, only earning Clear Sky's respect after being allowed to physically lead a patrol in Blazing Star. Instead they frame him finding his place through taking care of kits, which... was something he seemed to resent in the actual series, considering how the books suddenly treat Gray Wing's protective treatment of him as a terrible thing in Blazing Star because he "didn't give him a chance". But at the same time I actually strongly dislike Jagged Peak and his messy, frustrating character arc so I'm not really UPSET with it. Just... noting it. I suppose this is the official direction they're taking away from it?

Shadowstar's entry is barely even 3 paragraphs yikes.

SHORT STORY THOUGHTS

And if you're wondering if the 4 brand new stories they smooshed into the end in a desperate attempt to make the rush job worth buying are good? No. Of course not. They're all slop.

Story 1: Firestar and Graystripe

First one's a marginally cute story about Graystripe and Firestar which is setting up the framing device linking the mini-tales together. They both remember this situation where Firestar fell into a ditch wrong. The punchline is that Thunderstar remembers it perfectly and they're both like, "WOW! Too bad Thunderstar's memory sucks!"

It's not terrible, but it does feel a bit pointless. But, hey, if you want more Firestar and Graystripe in the series that tosses them fanservice at every turn, who am I to judge?

Story 2: Dovewing and Ivypool

The next one is the Dovewing/Ivypool reconciliation passage everyone's talking about. It's... fine, but immensely dissatisfying to me.

Dovewing is apparently having problems adjusting to her Clan, grapples a little bit with the fact she has no friends but is going to be finding meaning in helping tigerHeartstar "bring the new ShadowClan into existence." She ultimately decides that she needs to talk to her sister, and begs for reassurance that Ivypool believes in her, feeling that her support can help her get through this difficult time in her life.

I think its biggest problem is that Dovewing was not the right choice for the POV here.

Dove was never the one responsible for the rift in their relationship. Ivypool is. Ivypool is the one who was jealous, willing to sabotage anything that would put Dovewing closer to Tigerheart, and continues to be generally aggressive towards her. So when Dovewing is reaching out to Ivypool in hopes of them reconciling, it feels wrong because Ivypool is the one that should be reaching out to Dovewing. SHE is the one who has some things to apologize for, and to show how much she loves and misses her.

It's even kind of frustrating, because Dovewing can never catch a break. She has to have these problems to force her to reach out, Ivypool even ends up suggesting that she leave and come home and take her kids with her, but in the end even a LITTLE bit of assurance from her aggressive sister helps.

I feel super bad for Dovewing, man. She deserves better than this cheap writing. What was the point of such an unsatisfying, rushed reconciliation, shoved into a crummy field guide, when we KNOW from the newest book that they're just going to use tension between them as part of the drama anyway?

shouldn't have even been written, imo. Even ends off with, "They'll always have each other :)" which is so... cliche. It's TIRED. Are any of you really happy with just getting a retconned platitude in a good-for-nothing field guide, instead of seeing complicated, INTERESTING feelings in a main book?

Story 3: Alderheart and Twigbranch

A tale of Cherryfall getting sick during TBC and Alderheart sneaks back into the territory to treat her. Also Crowfeather has a scene where he yells at him. Charming.

Twigbranch comes up with a diversion while Alderheart does his work, which is cute. It's a fine story.

Story 4: Clear Sky

Trash. Three dogs spawn in the middle of a gathering so that Skystar can have an uwu big boy sendoff saving his grandkit. Then he goes to StarClan and throws a fit because they can't give him ANOTHER life, becoming so upset that he attacks the nearest woman. Naturally, Shadowstar brushes it off because it's not the first time Clear Sky has pummeled her in the midst of an adult tantrum and this book series thinks violence is fine if their favorite sadboy does it.

Then Gray Wing brings him to the magic mirror pool where you can see the living, to confirm that Star Flower is ok and that makes him feel better.

Then it launches into Firestar saying "ouuuugh yum I LOVE the taste of his butthole. Clear Sky is so misunderstood, He Just Loved Too Much."

to which Graystripe responds, "Yes, he was a good and amazing person and his farts smells SO good, and can you believe that some people think StarClan punished his Clan for his arrogance? As if he ever did anything wrong, ever?"

Firestar, indignant, refutes it with, "Ugh!! StarClan would NEVER be interesting, we don't punish living cats we just float around and make vague, frustrating prophecies that do nothing but pad the word count. Why cant ppl understand that, gosh."

who wrote this? Gray Wing??

[viciousvales]

netflix canceling shadow and bone is actually insane? regardless of how anyone feels about the writing it got so much hype and attention there’s no way it didn’t hit netflix’s mysterious renewal requirements, they HAD to be making a substantial amount of money off of it.

[vulturevanity]

Why is it widely understood and accepted that a healthy animal has a layer of fat thick enough to conceal every bone under the skin but the ideal beauty standard for women is protuding clavicles and visible ribs. I'm going to kill everyone involved in the beauty industry

[berryheartsclub]

I see a long haired brunette man in a leather jacket and I lose all self respect

[bonefall]

Having ADHD is so funny. You'll be like "I am going to write about the cats eating fish!" and then you're like "you see, fish are high in fats" and then you're like "wait, I need to explain to everyone why fats are important in a cat's diet" and then you're like "well first i have to explain cat diets" and then you misread kcal to cal conversion and you almost write down that a single gram of mouse meat can feed three men for a day

[iamthebonecarver]

I’m gonna need everyone to stfu for a second- I watched Howls Moving Castle for the first time today and simply don’t know how to act anymore

[syekick-powers]

i think probably the most surreal thing about hatsune miku specifically becoming kind of mainstream is that her fame is detached from her roots. i.e. a lot of people who are only hearing about miku via cultural osmosis don't actually know WHAT she is. i see people make a lot of comments about what miku is without ever actually being correct. "she's a robot" "she's a persona" "she's a hologram" for fucks sake she is a synthesizer. she is an app, a program. she is not AI. the voice samples used to make her voice were given with consent and you actually have to plug in the words and melody manually instead of just typing in a prompt and generating something. and one of the side effects of this particular semi-mainstream status is that miku kind of eats up all the popularity that could be going to other vocalsynths. like unless you've been in the vocaloid/vocalsynth community for a while, the likelihood that you're familiar with literally any other vocalsynth aside from MAYBE gumi is like astronomically low. and even if a vocaloid song with other vocalsynths manages to get popular in this landscape, it most likely gets covered by utaites/youtaites and other adjacent singers like vtubers over and over until the original version of the song gets completely buried. and it's just a tiny bit exhausting.

[y-rhywbeth2]

Vel: "Balthazar - I heard of a monk by that name once. He died a long time ago." Balthazar: "Oh, him? Yes, I decided to take his name for myself after taking his rib bones. Suits me better, I think."

Considering that Balthazar knows who Durge is, I wonder if he's familiar with how offended they get when other people start defiling their siblings' corpses? Bhaal's property should go in his temples, where it belongs. Are you doing this on purpose, sir?

Also what kind of undead is he anyway, a lich?

[bonebabbles]

i rarely if ever go "he would NOT fucking say that" about this cat books EXCEPT for FIRESTAR of all people defending clear sky and kissing his boots. ALSO, firestar and graystripe have no reason to even be commenting on this situation except to be a mouthpiece for how SAD AND LONELY AND NICE clear sky is, this happens with EVERY shitty man the writers get attached to.

It's the most forced thing I've ever read, I think I've done a Reverse Ghandi and clipped through the roof of the rage integer and just come right back around into humor. This writer is sooooo maaaaadd, they had to take the two most beloved characters in the series and imagine them naysaying all the haters to cope with the intense trauma of Internet People Don't Like My OC :(

We really have blown right past "annoying amounts of on-screen toesucking," they've recruited soldiers in the Great Toesucking War. This is only something you do when you're Completely And Totally Unbothered by meanies saying terrible things like "Clear Sky should stop beating the shit out of random women."

[theartingace]

WHO WANTS TO SEE SOME BONES??

Of course you do, it's tumblr.

So this is why I've been pretty quiet for a while. That and the continual degradation of spaces aimed towards artists online these days making it tough to want to share art 🙃 but mostly the giant bone-fusing screws I had installed and the near 6 month recovery process I have been fighting my way through.

All this to say, it's coming back baby. This platform continues to be my favorite so hopefully I will be back to answering all our favorite unhinged centaur questions soon.

But mostly I just wanted to show off MY BONES and my shiny new fuckoff-screws :)