#bonnie gave me this sick horse

[arthursfuckinghat]

John Marston and Sombra 𑁦𓃥𑁦 RDR1

[its-deputy-caleb]

haiiiiiiiiiiiiii can we get a john x fem reader wherein the reader is the doctor and a friend of the macfarlanes and they patch him up after getting shot by bill LOL (rdr1!! i’m not sure if you’ve played that but if you havent it’s ok to ignore this tysm :3)

WOAHH this is long overdue but I haven’t played the first (don’t kill me) so I decided to watch a 10hr play through— I’m yet to finish it cause its long and I’m watching it in short segments but I think I could tackle this. I really hope this doesn’t flop bc idk what I’m doing lmao.

-----------------------------------

It’s just a regular afternoon when Bonnie returns back to the ranch, you’re cleaning some of the medical cabinets, making lists of what needs to be topped up when you next take a trip to town or the Ranch’s general store. It’s light work for an easy afternoon but that all change pretty quickly when Bonnie came storming through the door, asking you for help on a man who’d been shot and needed urgent medical attention.

The list of medicines is dropped to the floor as she shows you to one of the units where he was currently laid out in the bed. You sat down, clearing his shirt and jacket to stop the bleeding and clean the wound. You were well focused on your work, stitching up the wound with practiced ease and addressing his other minor injuries like the small cut to the back of his head from hitting the ground and the bruising to his ribs from the bullet wound. Unbeknown to you, Bonnie has taken a stand behind your shoulder to watch you work.

“Damn fool thought he could take out Bill Williamson.”

“Bill Williamson?”

You could only stare down in surprise at the unconscious man before you. A man like Bill Williamson was not to be reckoned with, especially in a shootout if the evidence before you is anything to go by.

It took a few more hours of care but Bonnie stayed with you to make light of the situation and keep you company, only coming and going to bring back any supplies you needed. Once you’d properly bandaged his abdomen you stood from the shabby wooden stool you were sitting on and dusted your hands. You collected your tools into your bag and placed a soft hand to Bonnie’s shoulder.

“He should be fine now. He’s going to need lots of rest while his wound heals and he’ll probably be disoriented and dehydrated when he wakes but nothing more, you’ll find me if his condition worsens?”

Bonnie gave you a short nod in agreement, happy to stay with him for a few hours while you went and got some rest.

-

John woke with a splitting headache and a burning pain in his side. The events of the last few days coming back to him. He didn’t get time to think about it much however, when a golden haired woman came through the door, instantly giving him a light hearted lecture about chasing after Bill Williamson and getting shot at.

“Well while you may have done something stupid— we got to you in time and the Doc fixed you up real fine, got the bullets removed a few days ago. You’re a lucky man Mr…err?”

John made his way to the edge of the bed, sitting up and groaning at the pain that is usual for a bullet wound.

“Mr. Marston— John Marston and I suppose I should be thankin’ him for fixing me up.”

The woman leaned against the handle of the door, watching him shuffle on his feet awkwardly as she smirked at him.

“Bonnie MacFarlane. Miss, Bonnie MacFarlane and I hope you do thank her. She did a real fine job of takin’ care of you. She spends her mornings up on the hill by one of the large oak trees by the paddock, I suggest you pay her a visit before you start working off your medical bills.”

And with that, John picked up his hat from the wooden table that Bonnie had saved for him and started making his way over to you.

-

You were standing over by one of the smaller sheep paddocks off to the side of the MacFarlane Ranch and took in a deep breath, basking in the morning sun and leaning your elbows against the fence. You usually took the mornings to yourself, having half an hour to wake up slowly and enjoy yourself before you tented to a range of injuries and illnesses. Having been longtime friends to Bonnie and her father, your family had always been respected at the ranch and that came with certain privileges such as time off work in the morning.

Your peaceful moment was distributed, but not unpleasantly as you noticed the man who Bonnie bought in yesterday walking towards you. When he reached a certain distance his hat came off and held it in his hands, flattening his stringy hair as he addressed you.

“Pardon me ma’am, I didn’t mean to disturb you. Miss MacFarlane said you were the one needed thanking for taking care o’ me— so thank you.”

You noticed how he fiddled with the brim of his hat in his hands, trying not to look what you’d guess was embarrassed.

After you two introduced each other and you accepted John’s thanks, you offered for him to come and stand beside you by the fence.

“So who does a man have to be to go after an outlaw and bandit such as Bill Williamson?”

Your question was supposed to be lighthearted and fun, ready to tease him just as Bonnie had done for waltzing into Fort Mercer alone. You didn’t expect for John to answer you honestly

“An old friend…”

You stared at him in shock but he didn’t seem to notice as he stared out into the paddock of grazing sheep.

“Wait you know Bill Williamson?”

He could only nod for a moment, giving you a polite but almost sad smile at what seemed like a painful memory.

“Yes ma’am. There was a time when Bill and I weren’t so different.”

-

You actually spent a lot longer than you’d anticipated talking to John. For some reason unknown to you, John seemed to open up a fair bit. Maybe it all came down to the fact that you were approachable and kind, a quality you needed as the ranches doctor. Nevertheless he spent hours telling you about some of his time with the old ‘Van Der Linde Gang’. John spoke of train robberies and homesteads, what it was like to steal from folk and live wildly. He even mentioned gang rivalries and the epic tale of surviving a wolf attack.

He told you of some of the best times and even the worst but all of them were distance memories and he seemed quick to change the topic about why exactly he wanted to ‘reunite’ with Bill.

“What about you, Miss? How’d you end up here? Don’t see many female doctors around— w-with no offence intended ma’am.”

You let out a small laugh, hearing his curiosity turn to something desperate as he realised he may have been offensive. You kept your weight on one elbow, facing towards him and smiled.

“Well my daddy is the head doctor but he’s now semi retired. He’s a good man but he wasn’t always a doctor. A long time ago, when I was just a little girl our family were ranch handlers just like Bonnie’s family, but well… one season all the cattle got sick and were dying so my father moved to medicine. The MacFarlane’s are old friends and we’ve been with them ever since.”

John hummed, turning his gaze from you to stare at the vast Ranch that was almost a village in his eyes.

“Seem like good people— real decent folk.”

You nodded in response, growing up on this ranch became your home and you loved the MacFarlane’s very deeply.

“Indeed they are Mr.Marston, decent folk are hard to come by these days.”

Your pleasant conversation with John was suddenly interrupted by Bonnie who whistled down by the stables, clearly signalling for John to come and assist her with chores around the ranch. You could only hope that meant seeing more of John.

“It seems Miss MacFarlane will be needing my help. Thank you again ma’am, you saved my life.”

You didn’t get to say much as John took your hand in his, brining it to his mouth in a polite kiss to your knuckle before walking down the hill. He didn’t get far before you stopped him one last time.

“Oh Mr. Marston! I need to ride into town tomorrow to restock on medicines that they don’t stock at the general store. Would you be so kind as to accompany me?”

You eyes were full of hope and joy as he nodded and gave you a warm smile.

“It’s John, and I could think of nothing better than to help you ma’am”

You couldn’t stop the smile that spread onto your face as you watched John load his horse and ride of with Bonnie and a few others to work at various places around the ranch. You couldn’t stop the fluttery feeling in your stomach either at the anticipation and excitement of getting to see the mysterious but intriguing man John Marston.

(I will do a part 2 since i need more time to get a feel for rdr1!!)

[kaijudyke]

hello my friends! as you may or may not be aware i have a healthy obsession with the ballad of tam lin, and today i would like to talk to you about the abundance of parallels between tam lin and star trek deep space nine s02e22 the wire! i will be summarizing the ballad for you so you do not need to be familiar with it! strap in for a long analysis and join me under the cut 💖

1. a summary of the ballad in broad strokes

(all excerpts in this section from child 39A)

tam lin is a scottish folktale about a young woman named janet who goes to the forest of carterhaugh, which is known to be guarded by a fairy called tam lin.

O I forbid you, maidens a', That wear gowd on your hair, To come or gae by Carterhaugh, For young Tam Lin is there.

(janet is aware of this, and goes anyway. one of my favorite running themes in the ballad is janet being incredibly headstrong and cocky.) she picks a few roses, he appears and tells her to stop, she stands up to him, and they end up sleeping together (and, ostensibly, falling in love). she returns home to her father's castle pregnant. her father and the other men at the castle are very concerned about her pregnancy, but she defies them and tells her father that this is her own responsibility and that she'd rather be with tam lin than any human nobleman:

If that I gae wi child, father, Mysel maun bear the blame, There's neer a laird about your ha, Shall get the bairn's name. If my love were an earthly knight, As he's an elfin grey, I wad na gie my ain true-love For nae lord that ye hae.

janet goes back to carterhaugh to pick abortifacient herbs and terminate the pregnancy, since she believes she and tam lin will never be able to be together. tam lin reappears and asks her to stop, and she asks him to tell her more about himself (in many versions she asks him if he's a christian), looking for any reason not to give up on him:

"Why pu's thou the rose, Janet, Amang the groves sae green, And a' to kill the bonny babe That we gat us between?" "O tell me, tell me, Tam Lin," she says, "For's sake that died on tree, If eer ye was in holy chapel, Or christendom did see?"

he tells her that he's human like her, but was taken by the fairy queen as a child. he also says that the fairies pay a tithe to hell every seven years, and he's worried this time they're going to sacrifice him. he tells her how to save him: she must be at miles cross at midnight on all hallow's eve, when the fairies ride by, and she must pull him down from his horse and hold on to him as the fairies change his shape several times.

"They'll turn me in your arms, lady, Into an esk and adder, But hold me fast, and fear me not, I am your bairn's father. "They'll turn me to a bear sae grim, And then a lion bold, But hold me fast, and fear me not, And ye shall love your child. "Again they'll turn me in your arms To a red het gand of airn, But hold me fast, and fear me not, I'll do you nae harm. "And last they'll turn me in your arms Into the burning gleed, Then throw me into well water, O throw me in with speed. "And then I'll be your ain true-love, I'll turn a naked knight, Then cover me wi your green mantle, And hide me out o sight."

(the exact details of the transformations vary between versions, but some of the most common shapes he has to go through are adder, newt, lion, hot coal, and burning iron. if you're interested in the variations, i highly recommend this page!) once the transformations are done, he instructs her to wrap him in her green cloak, after which the fairies won't have a claim to him anymore. janet follows his instructions and successfully saves him, much to the dismay of the fairy queen.

2. janet, julian, and their relationships

whichever version of tam lin you are reading, janet is a character with a ton of agency. she has no qualms about encroaching on tam lin's territory (in fact she tells him in no uncertain terms that the forest is hers), and there is some indication that she might have gone to carterhaugh specifically because she wanted to sleep with tam lin; she's said to be wearing a green dress, and since the color green was associated with the fae, wearing green to a fairy wood is pretty clearly inviting their attention. (in medieval literature, green was also sometimes associated with love and sex.)

it's not hard to draw a parallel between janet's decision to pursue tam lin despite the danger he represents and julian's immediate fascination with garak in past prologue even though (or rather because) he suspects him to be a spy. also of note is that janet and tam lin's relationship begins with an argument, where her willingness to challenge him seems to be what draws him to her. one of my favorite retellings, by james p. spence, emphasizes this:

‘I'm here tae guard these woods, tae see that naebodie nor nothing disturbs their peace.’ ‘An was it ma father that gave ye such a job?’ ‘Naw it wasnae.’ ‘Weel, there ye are then. It should be you that's asking ma permission tae set foot in these woods, because it is ma father that owns them.’ Then the young man's face rose up intae a smile that seemed many a long year since it was last there. (scottish borders folk tales, james p. spence, p. 114-115)

i'm sure i don't need to tell you that this is reminiscent not only of garak and julian's fondness for debate but of the way cardassians show romantic interest. more than that, though, i think there's something to be said for the way these relationships are treated by other people in the characters' lives. janet's father and his knights are troubled by her pregnancy, and they clearly think she should be with a normal, respectable man, preferably one of said knights, given that she feels the need to remark "There's neer a knight about your ha / Shall hae the bairnie's name." (child 39I) in the wire, when julian tells jadzia he wishes garak would trust him, she replies "why should he? it's not like the two of you are really friends." julian's friends do not understand why he spends so much time with garak—a cardassian, a spy, an outcast, someone who can't be trusted.

in both cases it's easy enough to see where they're coming from; being pregnant out of wedlock with a fairy's child is certainly not an ideal situation for a young noblewoman to find herself in, and it's remarkably foolish for a starfleet officer to have regular lunch dates with someone he believes to be an enemy spy. but janet and julian are both stubborn, and more interested in what's adventurous and exciting than what's good for them. (remember that, like janet knowingly going to pick roses in a forest guarded by fairies, julian wanted the position on ds9 because he wanted to try his hand at "frontier medicine"; misguided as he may have been, his thirst for adventure is the reason he's even on the station to begin with.)

3. fairyland, the obsidian order, and enabran tain

in the ballad, tam lin is abducted by the fairy queen when he's a child. she takes him to a magical realm where he feels no pain and is far removed from human worries.

And we that live in faeryland, No sickness know, nor pain, I quit my body when I will, And take to it again. (j. holm, verse 32)

garak has been enabran tain's protégé since he was very young. as an operative of the obsidian order, he's been trained to be cool under pressure, to play his cards close to his chest, and to avoid sentimentality and attachment. the plot of the episode hinges entirely on a device implanted in his brain that keeps him from feeling pain. to save his life, julian has to remove the implant, metaphorically rescuing him from fairyland and the influence of the queen who stole him away from the human world. the fairy queen is very possessive of tam lin and very disdainful of his feelings for janet; in many versions of the ballad, after janet successfully rescues him, the fairy queen remarks that if she'd known this would happen, she would have plucked out his eyes and replaced them with wood, or taken his heart and replaced it with stone.

"But had I kend, Tam Lin," said she, "What now this night I see, I wad hae taen out thy twa grey een, And put in twa een o tree." (child 39A, verse 42) 'Had I but kend, Thomas,' she says, 'Before I came frae hame, I had taen out that heart o flesh, Put in a heart o stane.' (child 39B, verse 41)

much like tain tried and failed to mold garak into the perfect emotionless spy, the fairy queen very literally wants to remove tam lin's ability to feel love, because his emotions make him harder for her to control, and in the end are what lead him to escape her clutches entirely. garak and tam lin are both saved by the same thing: their transgressive love for their rescuer, and the fierce, unconditional love they receive in return.

4. hold me fast and fear me not

the central event of the tam lin ballad, of course, is the transformation scene. i'm sure it's what makes the ballad stick in people's minds; it certainly is for me. there's something so deeply romantic about the phrase "hold me fast and fear me not," and about the idea of loving someone so much that you'll hold on to them even as they turn into a beast in your arms. the wire doesn't have as literal a transformation scene as tam lin, but i would argue that it certainly has one.

after julian removes garak's implant (which we can equate to pulling tam lin down from his horse), garak goes through withdrawal. he becomes, by turns, depressed, and angry, and spiteful, and violent. throughout the episode, we see him try to drive julian away. he refuses his help; he insults him; he tells him contradictory stories about his past, all designed to shock him; when none of this succeeds at discouraging him, he physically lashes out.

julian, however, doesn't budge. he isn't fooled by the shapes garak contorts himself into. he takes every change in stride, never wavering in his determination to save him. every person garak claims to be, julian accepts. like janet defying the fairy queen for love of tam lin, he goes as far as to enter cardassian territory and seek out enabran tain in order to save garak's life. when he believes he's about to die, garak tells julian he needs to know that someone forgives him; "i forgive you," julian says, "for whatever it is you did." whatever kind of beast garak is—whatever kind of beast tain has turned him into—julian will not let go of his hand. he will hold him fast.

He grew into her arms two Like iron in hot fire; She held him fast, let him not go, He was her heart's desire. (child 39D, verse 31)

the basic structure of these stories is the same: the main character finds out that the person they love is in immediate danger due to something they went through when they were younger, which fundamentally changed them as a person and is also keeping the two from being together. unwilling to lose their love, they brave the wrath of a powerful villain who's controlled this person's life for a long time. there are undeterred by the frightening changes the person goes through. in the end, they are victorious, and their beloved is free.

5. my dear doctor, they're all true

a closing statement: tam lin is a folktale. like any folktale, there are many, many versions of it, often contradicting each other. there is no definitive version of tam lin (though child 39A may be the most famous). you're free to read every available version of the story, finding meaning not only in the most commonly reoccurring themes, but also in which parts of the text speak to you. like garak's contradictory stories about his life, while it's hard to say whether any one element is true, every element tells you something—about the story, or about the person who tells it. my view of these story parallels is heavily influenced by my own personal interpretation of, and feelings about, the ballad. as it should be.

[wiypt-writes]

Riding On

Ch 14- Compromise

Summary: Frank is besides himself due to their argument, and Fliss isn’t faring much better…

Warnings: Bad Language words. SMUT (NSFW, no under 18s…)

Pairing: Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Riding On Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 13

Me and you, what's going on? All we seem to know is how to show the feelings that are wrong. So don't go away, say what you say, but say that you'll stay, forever and a day in the time of my life 'Cause I need more time, yes, I need more time, just to make things right.

As soon as he had left the room, Frank was overcome with guilt at what he had said. He had never spoken to Fliss like that before but his temper had just snapped. He hesitated at the first step of the staircase, debating going back to apologise but as he did so he heard Alex's cries die down to a sniffle so he left well alone. She'd calmed him and the last thing he wanted to do was go back in there and upset everyone again.

Instead, he made his way upstairs and climbed back into bed, waiting for her to come back up, only she never did. He lay awake for another hour or so before his eyes could no longer stay open, but a mere 2 hours after finally succumbing to sleep, Frank was woken by his alarm and Fliss’ side of the bed was still empty.

He found her stretched out on the sofa, the throw blanket pulled over her body. Another pang of guilt washed over him as he walked over, brushing the hair off her face to see her eyes rimmed with red. Shaking his head at himself he swallowed and dropped a kiss to her forehead before he checked on Alex who was fast asleep in his pack and play. Then, as quietly as he could, he put on a pot of coffee and went to wake Mary for school, that horrible sick, anxious feeling gnawing at his insides.

By the time they both made their way back downstairs, dressed and ready for the day, Fliss had woken and was feeding Alex. She looked up and her eyes locked onto Frank's before she turned to Mary and gave a tired smile, wishing her good morning.

"Liss, do you want any breakfast?" Frank knew his first words to her since the argument should have been an apology but with Mary in the room he was trying to keep everything calm.

“No thanks." She replied, perfectly politely "I'll get something later. Once he's fed I'm going to go upstairs and try and get some sleep."

"Okay." He nodded, turning to Mary. “What about you short stack? Cereal, toast..."

"Do we have any waffles?"

"Errrr..." Frank turned to the cupboard, not sure whether they did or not but then Fliss spoke.

"Yeah they're in the bread tin." She informed "I got you some more the other day."

"You're the best Lissy." Mary grinned, settling on the chair round the breakfast bar.

Fliss gave a soft chuckle and looked down at Alex who seemed to have stopped feeding. Frank watched as she rearranged her sleep top to wind him her eyes still not meeting his.

"Can Rosie come stay this Saturday?" Mary asked and Frank's eyes turned to her.

"As in sleep over?"

Mary nodded. Frank turned to Fliss who looked at him and shrugged.

"It's fine by me." She said.

Mary grinned and then she paused. “Oh, we said we would check Monty this morning to make sure he wasn't stiff after yesterday."

"Already done." Fliss assured her. "Jo fed this morning and sent me a message. She turned him out to pasture for the day and his legs are fine. I suggest you let him have today and tomorrow off so he can rest then maybe me and you can take him and Heidi down to the trail ride on Wednesday after school."

Mary beamed. “That sounds great."

They finished breakfast. It remained quiet between Frank and Fliss but civil. However, when he left for work be bent down as normal to peck her goodbye and she turned her head so he caught her cheek. All things considered he couldn't blame her, so he didn't make a fuss about it. Instead he picked up his keys, walked Mary down to the bus for school and then headed to work.

**** Fliss didn't go back to bed. She couldn't. Instead she dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt, and went over to the yard for an hour or so to chat to Joanne and look at the lessons scheduled for that week.

"Has the Friday afternoon class been cancelled?" Fliss frowned.

"Just for this week." Jo, who was enjoying cuddles with Alex, looked at her nodding. "I’m off this weekend for my sister's wedding and Olivia can't cover the teaching. The Yard is covered though, we got the yard hands and..."

"Hey, Jo, it’s okay. I trust you." Fliss smiled. "And I'd completely forgotten about the wedding. Are you excited?"

Joanne smiled. "Yeah. It’s going to be awesome. She has a fantastic live band playing and it’s been months since I went back to Atlanta."

Fliss smiled "Why don't you take a few more days? You deserve it. You've worked so hard the last 6 months and you should take the time to spend with your family."

"Oh no, I can't..."

"Yes you can." Fliss cut off her protests and looked at her "Between me, Olivia and the stable hands we can cope. You're already off until Wednesday. Just take a week."

"That...that would be amazing." Jo smiled "thank you so much."

Fliss shrugged, "its fine..."

At that Alex gave a little murmur which Fliss knew all too well was a threat he was going to cry so she gestured for Joanne to hand him back. He pressed his face into her neck, his tiny nose brushing against her skin and she gave a soft smile, kissing his head.

"He's adorable." Joanne smiled and Fliss beamed at her.

"Yeah..." she tipped her head to look at him. “Yeah he is."

She studied her baby’s profile for a moment, noticing not for the first time,  just how like his father he was, before she shook herself back to the here and now. "I'll take Friday's afternoon lessons. Call everyone who was booked on and offer them back a place."

"Are you sure?' Joanne frowned "I mean..."

"It’s an hour." Fliss shrugged. “My mum will watch him or he can nap in the office. It’s cool enough with the AC unit on, and the baby monitor is wired to my phone.”

"Ok, you're the boss" Joanne nodded.

"At least you recognise that." Fliss mumbled.

"Huh?" Joanne frowned and Fliss shook her head

"Nothing, ignore me." She sighed "Okay, I'm gonna take Thor for a quick walk down the pasture path and head home. I'll be over later to ride Cap. I'll feed so you can take an early finish"

Jo smiled "That would be great, I'll make sure it’s all ready."

Fliss smiled before she placed Alex in the stroller and she pushed him over the yard towards the path that led down to the various fields the horses were in. She walked, Thor running ahead slightly, sniffing at any interesting smells he found, the wheels of the stroller gently bounced on the bumpy dirt track. Fliss smiled as her old faithful mare gave a loud whinny and came trotting to her field gate to say hello.

"Hey Hides." Fliss reached out to stroke her nose "How you doing?"

She watched as Heidi bent her neck to take a look at the tiny person in the stroller before Alex gave a wiggle and the horse jumped back slightly, giving a snort. Fliss chuckled. “You daft sod." She reached out and gave her neck a scratch before the sound of her phone ringing made her reach for it. "Hi Bonnie."

"Oh my God Fliss, I nearly called you last night but it was late when we got back and..." her best friend instantly rambled on and Fliss grinned as she had a feeling she knew what she was going to say "...but Simon asked me to marry him this weekend and I said yes!"

"Bonnie that’s amazing!" Fliss beamed as she held the phone to her ear "I’m so happy for you and I need all the details!"

"It’s such a long story but we went for a meal in this gorgeous restaurant on Times Square and afterwards as we were walking back through central park he got down on one knee and…” Bonnie gave a sigh “He made me cry.” Fliss gave a little chuckle “Oh babes, that’s fantastic!”

“We’ve not told the rest of the gang yet, Simon thought we could all go out on Friday and do it properly if you’re up for it?”

Fliss hesitated. She had been about to accept, but with the way things were between her and Frank, she wasn’t sure what was going to be happening that evening, let alone the weekend.

"Fliss?" Bonnie's voice hit her ear "you still there?"

"Yeah sorry...was just...it doesn't matter. Friday sounds great."

"Are you okay?" Bonnie asked.

"Nothing to worry about. Just had an argument with Frank but we'll sort it out, we always do."

"What about?"

"Me going back to work." Fliss shook her head. “But honestly, don't worry. I certainly don't wanna drag your good mood down or eat up your break."

“You're not." Bonnie assured her "I got 10 minutes. Lord knows you put up with my complaints often enough."

Fliss took a deep breath and explained to Bonnie inlarge handfuls so as not to swamp her with details and when she reached the bit about Frank calling her a bitch Bonnie took a sharp inhale of breath.

"Oh Fliss..." she sighed "Sounds like you both said a few things you didn't mean."

"I know." Fliss said quietly, feeling the tears sting her eyes "I just don't see why he can't see it from my point of view."

"Can you see it from his?" Bonnie challenged.

“You mean understand why he wants me to be a stay at home mom?"

"That's not what I got from that." Bonnie placated her softly "Not at all. He just wants you to take some time. Having a baby is a huge thing, Liss. It takes time to adjust. I think Frank is worried if you rush you'll burn out."

Fliss stayed silent, Bonnie's words slowly sinking in.

"I get your point of view, you want to get back to normal but...well, I kinda see his too." Bonnie said gently, and then a bell sounded on the other end of the phone. "I gotta go Fliss but...just talk to him, and listen. I mean really listen. If you need me later give me a call."

“Thanks Bon...oh and congratulations again. I'm so happy for you." Fliss changed to subject, focusing on the reason her best friend had called in the first place. “Oh, and send me a photo of your diamond! I wanna see it!"

***** Frank tapped at the keyboard, scanning the list of jobs, his mind whirring. He needed something physical to do today, to keep his mind off thinking about what an asshole he’d been last night and early this morning. As he realised all the repair jobs had been allocated, he gave a low growl of frustration.

“You alright, Frank?”

His head jerked up from the screen and he looked at Alan who was leaning on the door frame.

“Yeah, I just fancied doing a repair or something today but they’re all booked out.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“You bored of management already?” Alan teased and Frank gave a shake of his head.

“No, just…well to be honest I could do with the distraction.” He said, dragging his hand over his face.

“From the look of you, you could do with a good sleep too.” Alan mused, stepping into the office.

“You’re not wrong.” Frank mumbled. “That little pup of yours keeping you awake?”

“Something like that.” Frank looked at the screen before he looked up at Alan “What are you doing here anyway? Thought you and the Mrs were off to Toronto?”

“We fly tomorrow.” Alan looked at Frank, cocking his head to one side. “Frank, are you sure you’re okay buddy?”

Frank leaned back in his chair letting out a heavy breath. “Had an argument with Fliss last night, I didn’t sleep well. Breakfast this morning wasn’t particularly friendly.”

“Ah.” Alan said, closing the door behind him as he sat down in the chair on the opposite side of Frank’s desk. “A bad argument or…”

“Bad enough for me to end up calling her a bitch.” Frank shook his head, looking down at the desk. “Which I’m not proud of, believe me.”

“We all say shit we don’t mean in the heat of the moment.” Alan said wisely “Christ, if I had a dollar for every time me and Annette had hurled abuse at one another, well I’d have six of these damned shops instead of just one.”

Frank gave a small smile, before his face slipped again and he glanced at his boss. “Her ex used to call her names like that, and…”

“Hey, woah.” Alan looked at him, cutting him off. “I’ve heard all about that shit bag from Bill and I can tell you right now Frank, you are not that guy.”

Frank took a deep breath, licking his lips.

“It’s really bothering you isn’t it?” Alan cocked his head to one side and Frank raised his eyebrows.

“It’s not like we’ve argued before, I mean hell, we’ve had some pretty big disagreements in the past, but…” He let out a deep breath. “This just, I dunno. It’s the first time she ever frustrated me enough to make me say such a shitty thing.”

“Well, ” Alan leaned back, “that’s what being in love does to you pal. We lash out at the people we care about most, because they frustrate the fuck out of us and we don’t know how else to deal with it.”

Frank pondered his words for a moment. He loved Fliss beyond what he felt anyone could comprehend and sometimes, like yesterday, when they argued it became a frustration because he didn’t want to argue with her. He wasn’t naïve enough to think that everything would always be hearts and roses, but at the same time he was sappy enough to want it to be. And when it wasn’t, it bugged the fuck out of him because he was so consumed by this utter love for the woman he wanted to share the rest of his life with, he sometimes didn’t know how to react when they fought. He appeased her most of the time, because it was easier, but damned it last night she spiked something inside him with her inability to listen to the point he was trying to make.

Fuck, he had to make this right. He couldn’t spend the rest of the day in some kind of stupid, angry limbo. He looked at Alan and took a deep breath.

“Any chance I can have the afternoon off?” He hopefully asked. “See if I can go and sort this mess out.”

Alan smiled “Hey, you’re the boss now. Do what you want. Book it as leave or make the hours up, whatever.”

“Thanks.” Frank smiled at him. “I appreciate it.”

Alan nodded and stood up. “Oh, before I go, the reason I actually came to see you was that we had an enquiry the other day about a sale. From someone you might know.”

“Oh?” Frank asked, looking at Alan. “Who was it?”

“Jon Gruden.” Alan smiled and Frank felt his mouth drop open.

“No shit!” He grinned before he paused “What the fuck does he want with a boat? I thought he lived in Nevada.”

“Well, apparently when he isn’t coaching the Raiders he’s residing in his second home in Tampa.” Alan shrugged “And he wants a boat. I figured given your love for football you might fancy handling that one yourself.”

“Absolutely.” Frank grinned “Thanks Alan.”

“No problems, he’s gonna call to arrange an appointment. Now get yourself off and sort things with your Mrs.”

Frank nodded “I’ll do my best.”

Alan gave him another smile and left the office, leaving the door open. Frank leaned back once more, before he reached for his phone which was laying on the desk, smiling at the photo he had taken just yesterday afternoon at Mary’s show. Mary was grinning ear to ear as she sat atop of Monty, Fliss stood by her side, Alex in her arms arranged so he too was facing the camera. He’d changed the screensaver over immediately after taking it, he’d loved the damned shot that much.

He scrolled through to his key contacts and flicked the green call button by the side of Fliss’ name. The phone rang out a few times, and for a horrible moment he thought she was going to ignore him, but then the dial tone stopped.

"Hi." Her tone was flat.

"Hey, where are you?" He paused and grimaced. Fuck, it sounded like he was checking up on her and he hastily started to try to explain. "Not that it matters, I was asking because-.." 

"I’m just out walking with Thor and Alex down the fields." She cut him off, her tone maintaining neutral. He supposed he should be thankful she wasn’t ranting at him. 

"Okay. Well I'm coming home." He informed her.

"Why?" her voice was puzzled. 

"Because I can't concentrate, Lissy" He sighed. "I hate being at odds with you. I just... " He swallowed thickly and rubbed his eye, tiredly. "I wanna make it right so, I'm taking the afternoon off and I'm hoping we can talk?"

There was silence on the other end, other than a bark from Thor and then he heard her sniffle a little, her reply quiet. "Yeah. Okay."

"Oh, honey. Don't cry." Frank sighed softly, the lump in his throat growing bigger. “Please, this whole thing is a huge shit misunderstanding.”

"I know, I just..." She took a deep breath. "I'll see you in half an hour or so" And with that she hung up.

Frank tossed the phone back onto his desk, tapping his fingers against the arm of his chair before he stood up, turned off his laptop and retrieved the keys to his truck from the drawer of his desk. He strode out into the shop floor, instructed his Team Leader to call him if there was an emergency, otherwise he was unavailable for the rest of the afternoon. **** Fliss stood looking at the screen on her phone, the photo of Frank, Mary and Alex looking back up at her. She swallowed a little, but before she could think about what Frank had said any more a WhatsApp message came through from Bonnie. It was a picture of her ring. It was a fairly large, brilliant cut diamond solitaire, set into an elaborately twisted white gold band. It was stunning, and exactly Bonnie’s style.

She tapped a message out telling Bonnie it was gorgeous before she shoved the phone in the back pocket of her cut- off jeans and then glanced at her own engagement ring on her left hand, watching as it caught the sunlight, looking even more shiny and sparkly than usual. She adored the design of it. It was delicate, nothing like the hideously large one John had given her. Frank had put a lot of thought into the type of thing she would like, as opposed to simply picking something to show off how much he could afford. It was all about her. As Alex made a small noise from the pram she instinctively reached down with her right hand to softly rub at his chest, an action the baby found soothing. As she did, her new ring, her 'Push Present' as Bonnie and Roberta called it caught her eye. It was an emerald cut sapphire, very similar in size and shape to the stone in her engagement ring, and it was set into a simple plain white gold band. Frank had given it to her at the hospital just before they brought Alex home. "Blue for a boy.” He'd smiled as she'd beamed up at him before kissing him softly and thanking him for being such a thoughtful, soft sap.

But that was her sailor all over. A thoughtful, soft sap that was so distraught at having called her a bitch he was taking the afternoon off work because he couldn't concentrate until he'd made things right.

Fuck, Bonnie was right. She'd gotten Frank's intentions here all wrong. So very wrong.

Yes, he had shocked her. To be honest, she wasn’t sure Frank even had it in him to call her a name like he did, but now she realised that she hadn't made things easy for him. She'd never, ever dared answer John back the way she did Frank as it would result in her getting a beating, and as such, if she was perfectly honest with herself, she struggled with the whole debating side of things. When challenged and unable to articulate her answer in the way she wanted she reverted to silence, in a lot of ways it felt easier and safer. And when pushed she lashed out simply for the reason that sometimes she didn't know what else to do. But the stupid thing was, the fact she felt able to go on the defensive showed just how safe she was with Frank.

Because the worst thing he had ever done, and would ever do was call her a name out of pure frustration.

He shouldn't have called her what he did. That was a given, but in the grand scheme of things, as she knew only too well, there were far worse things he could do. But he never would. Because he loved her and he wasn't that type of man. He'd die before he hurt a single hair on her head, on any of their heads for that matter.

She glanced at Alex, where he lay, his bright blue eyes looking up at her and she wiped her eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Shall we head back and make your daddy some lunch, baby boy?"

She gave a sharp whistle and Thor bounded back to her and the three of them made their way home. Alex was fast asleep when they got back, so Fliss kicked off her sneakers at the door and parked the stroller in the cool of the family room, heading towards the kitchen area. She set about making a quick penne arabiata and a salad and had just finished setting two places at the breakfast bar when Frank walked in the door. Immediately his eyes flicked her hers and she gave him a small smile.

“Hi.” He greeted her, softly, before his attention turned to his sleeping son. He gently brushed a finger down his cheek before he looked back at Fliss. There was a moment where the two of them simply stared at each other, before Fliss was the first one to move, walking out of the kitchen area. He met her half way, wrapping his arms around her as she pressed her face into his black polo-collared T-shirt.

“I’m sorry.” Frank stuttered, screwing his face up as he lay his cheek on her hair, breathing in her shampoo “Baby, I’m so fuckin’ sorry;”

“Me too.” She sniffed. “I hate it when we fight Frankie.”

“I know, I don’t like it either.” He pulled back a little to cup her face, wiping her tears with his thumbs. “I was out of order calling you what I did. I’m so disgusted in myself honey, I can’t…”

“Hey.” She reached up to touch his face, her fingers brushing his stubble “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me.” Frank swallowed thickly “I just…” he trailed off as he shook his head and she smiled up at him.

“Frank, we both said shit we didn’t mean.” She sighed “I called you an asshole, you know, it’s not okay for me to say those things either.”

“I know, but…”

“No buts.” She insisted, standing on her toes to lightly brush her lips against his. “Come on, I made lunch.”

“You didn’t have to do that.” He said softly as she laced her fingers with his and led him to the place at the bar.

“I wanted to.” She shrugged “Call it a peace offering. That and I was fucking starving.”

Frank snorted “Should have known there was an ulterior motive.”

“You wanna eat your food or wear it?” Fliss asked, shooting him a look as he settled down on the stool. Frank chuckled and watched her as she placed the salad dish down on the side before resting the pasta dish on the heat mat that was on the counter. She turned back to the fridge, Frank simply drinking her in as she bent over slightly, the pure domesticity of the scene washing over him as she padded bare foot back towards him, two beers in her hands.

She placed one down and sat next to him, Frank dishing out their food and they silently tucked in, but the silence was a comfortable one in contrast to the dinner they’d shared the night before, and the tense breakfast that morning. Franks left hand gently gave her right knee a soft squeeze and she smiled at him, before she reached for her drink and took a large pull.

“So, we gonna talk about stuff?” She asked, taking the final bite of her lunch before she placed her cutlery down on her empty plate. “I promise I won’t fly off the handle this time.”

Frank took a deep breath and swallowed his last mouthful of food before he licked his lips “Okay.” He nodded. “Lissy, I never said I didn’t want you to work. Yeah, maybe there was a small part of me that loves this.” He said, waving his hand between them. “The idea of just coming home and you being here but I know that’s not what you want, and I’d never, ever dream of making you give up everything you’ve worked for just because of some weird domestic fantasy I have, which for the record, really freaks me the fuck out.”

“What do you mean?” Fliss asked.

“I never in a million years ever dreamed I’d have something like this, someone like you.” He looked at her. “You saw past that utter fuck up I was back then and took me for who I was, Mary too…we made a life together, you gave me the most beautiful gift anyone ever could that’s currently snoring over there in his stroller.”

Fliss looked at him, the tears filling her eyes as he continued.

“I never thought I’d ever get here. A family, a home, and a job that means I can provide for you all.” he swallowed a little, as he shook his head “I’m not explaining this very well.”

“I get it.”  Fliss looked at him, “I do Frank, because I never thought I’d ever have this either.” She reached out and took his hand which was resting on the counter top, squeezing his fingers in hers “It’s so mundane, its normal and it’s such a stupid thing to be grateful for, but every time that door goes and you come home, I feel happiness instead of fear about what mood you’re going to be in and whether or not it means I’m gonna get a kicking.”

Frank bowed his head, shaking it softly as his hand tightened around hers. “Lissy, don’t…”

“It’s true.” She said gently “And last night, earlier this morning when you accused me of likening you to John, I want you to know there’s not a single time, ever, that I’ve done that. Because you’re nothing like him. And me accusing you of trying to control me was a low blow. I know that’s not what you were doing.”

“I just want you to take time, not to rush things.” Frank looked at her. “But if going back to work and expanding is what you really wanna do then…” “No, it’s not.” She shook her head “Well, it is but you’re right. I was over there before with Joanne looking at the diary and it would be too much. I don’t want to miss out on Alex growing up. I mean, God, every morning I wake up and I swear he’s changed in the hours we’ve been asleep.”

Frank chuckled “I know. Before we know it he’ll be walking, talking and answering us back…”

“Don’t.” Fliss groaned as she shook her head smiling “But you were right, so many women would kill to be in my position. So, I thought maybe I could go back first of all, just do maybe one day a week teaching and a couple of evenings where I finish off for Joanne. I can do the rest of the stuff like the publicity and organising, emails that type of stuff from home. And, when he’s a little older then I can work my way back up to more.”

“A compromise.” Frank smiled and Fliss shrugged.

“Yeah, I can be reasonable at times.”

“Sounds good to me.” Frank nodded

“Good, because I’m covering a lesson on Friday.” She smirked and Frank gave a snort, shaking his head. “Just one, for an hour or so. Joanne’s away this week and I don’t want to let the clients down.”

“You don’t need to explain.” Frank shook his head.

“And I want to buy the land.” Fliss finished, looking at him. “Just so it belongs to Sandybrook. We can use it for grazing, maybe even a grass jumping paddock, just until we’re ready to start thinking about expanding.”

“Okay.” Frank nodded “Make the call, put an offer in.”

She leaned over and gave him a quick peck. “Thank you.” She whispered against his mouth before she stood up to clear the breakfast bar down.

“I’ll do that.” He stood up, “You cooked so…”

“It won’t take me long” she shrugged “Honestly I don’t mind.” “Are we gonna have an argument now about who does the dishes?” He teased and she let out a soft laugh.

“No, because they’re going in Dusty.”

“You know, I never met anyone who named a dishwasher before.” Frank shook his head as he moved to grab a tupperware container to place the left over pasta in.

“Well he’s an important part of our life.” Fliss said seriously “I couldn’t cope without him.” 

Frank chuckled as he ladled the pasta into the container, snapping the lid shut before he haphazardly slung it in the fridge. He moved behind Fliss, his arms circling her waist as he pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Why don’t we go out Friday night? Mary’s going to Roberta’s, I’m sure your mom and dad would watch Alex for us.”

“We can’t…” Fliss said suddenly and Frank gave a groan.

“Why not? Come on we haven’t been out together since before he was born. We can grab dinner, a few drinks. It’ll be fun.”

“There might be something planned.” Fliss tossed the cloth she’d been wiping the place they’d just eaten down with into the sink.

“Oh?” he frowned, and she turned in his arms, looking up at him.

“I got a call from Bonnie before, Simon finally got down on one knee.” “Huh, no kidding!” Frank grinned, before he pouted slightly “The little shit never told me.”

“Yeah well, she said that they were thinking of going out on Friday, all of us and telling everyone then so…”

Frank pondered for a moment before he suddenly had an idea “So, how about we grab an earlier dinner and meet them after.” He reasoned before he raised his eyebrows. “There’s another compromise.”

Fliss chuckled, her hands sliding up his chest, fingers lacing together behind his neck “Yeah, we’re getting kinda good at this.”

“I know something else we’re kinda good at too.” He gave her a cheeky wink and she scoffed, arching an eyebrow.

“You’re a dirt bag.” She mumbled as his head dropped towards hers.

“Oh Dahlin, you love it.” He muttered, his lips pressing to hers. As the kiss deepened, Frank’s hands moved gently round to her back, one splaying at the base of her spine, the other sliding in her hair as their tongues tangled in the familiar yet oh so damned good dance. With a grin he reached down, hooked his hands under her thighs and lifted her easily, setting her on the counter in front of him. She smirked a little against his lips and Frank gave a chuckle, the kiss resuming, her legs hooking round his waist and she pulled him closer, causing him to grunt a little.

“You want something, pretty girl?” He teased, pulling back a little.

Fliss bit her lip, her hands sliding up his arms. “Yeah, can you go to the garage and maybe smear a bit of oil or motor grease onto your arms. Maybe a bit on your cheek?”

“You have an unhealthy obsession with dirt, you know that?” He looked at her and she shook her head.

“No, I have an unhealthy obsession with dirt on you.” She corrected, her arms once more round his neck. “I totally loathe Alex’s nappy changes, for the record.”

Frank snorted “Yeah, they’re not great. Just wait till he starts solids.”

“Yeah, okay stop talking shit Frank and fuck me.”

“Talking shit.” He mused, completely ignoring her request despite the fucking hotwire it had sent to his already half erect cock “I see what you did there.” “Whatever, get on with the other part.”

“Which was?” he teased.

She looked at him, realising instantly he was playing around so she smirked a little and leaned forward, her lips brushing his ear. “Fuck me, Adler.”

“But I’m not covered in dirt.” He titled his head, his lips ghosting hers.

Fliss paused, her eyes flicking around before she grinned a she spotted the dirty pasta dish to the side of her. In flash she wiped her finger round the edge of the dish and smeared the tomato sauce straight across his cheek and down his beard.

“Now you are.” She looked at him, as he stared at her in shock, open mouthed before he gave a scoff.

“You want me to fuck you Cowgirl, you’re gonna have to lick that off my face.”

Her eyes locked onto his, she stuck her finger in her mouth sucking it clean and his eyes darkened a little as she released it with a loud pop and gave a shrug. Her hand tangled in his hair as she pulled his head towards her and gently placed her mouth against his face, sucking and licking at the offending food, making her way down his cheek to his jaw line, where she continued her affections. Frank gave a sigh, tipping his head slightly to give her more access as she skated across his short whiskers to the other side, her kisses trailing back upwards before her mouth caught his again.

“God I fahking love you.” He mumbled, his arms pulling her closer.

“Yeah?” She asked as his hands gripped at her hips.

“Yeah.” He nodded standing in between her legs, his mouth dropping to her neck. She rolled her head back, as he nipped at her pulse-point, before his lips moved to that hollow at the bottom of her throat, his beard scratching her skin as mouth traced a path up her neck, back up to hers and he kissed her hard. His hands moved to pop the button on her jeans before he gently grasped at the waistband and she shifted to allow him to pull them down over her legs, tossing them to one side. His hands slipped up underneath the blue top she was wearing, pulling down the cups of her bra, thumbs gently teased at her nipples, all the time listening to the soft noises and groans she was making as he continued, his nose brushing against hers, smiling softly.

“You like that?” He whispered, knowing full well that she did, but he knew she also liked his soft dirty talk and she gave a sigh and a nod, followed by a little squeak as he shifted her underwear to one side and pushed two fingers insider her.

Her head fell forward onto his shoulder as her hands grasped at his back through his T-shirt, and as he continued to stroke and coax her she bit down on his neck causing him to hiss slightly at the bite of pain.

“Need you.” She purred into his ear. “Please.”

And when she asked like that, he was always powerless to refuse. This woman was his absolute weakness.

He moved his head to kiss her again, and removing his hand from her panties he reached up and pulled them down before he stood up, and she reached for the button and zip on his jeans. Once she’d gotten them open, she pushed them down, over his slim hips as Frank’s hands moved to her back and he gently pulled her forwards, sliding her towards him, letting her feel how ready he was. She reached down and gently gave his hard cock a pump up and down and he let out a groan as he pulled her off the counter slightly, her legs wrapping around his waist, arms round his neck, her lower back resting against the side of the worktop both of them letting out a load moan of satisfaction as he pushed forward, all the way home.

Frank’s head dropped to Fliss’ shoulder, his mouth once more on the pulse point in her neck as he thrust into her, again and again, his hands on her back, keeping her supported slightly

“God you feel so good.” He mumbled, his lips moving back to hers as he set a pace that was torturously slow, and deep, and loving. Thrust after thrust he kept his lips either on hers or centimetres away, watching her intently as her pupils blew as he worked her up, driving into her, as deep as he could go, one hand resting at the back of her spine to keep her back from slamming into the harsh edge of the counter, the other guiding her head so he could kiss her, hard.

Her hands moved, the nails scraping lightly at the nape of his neck, and Frank felt himself falter for a split second at her touch.  

“Fuck, Baby.” He groaned into her mouth as she grinned cheekily, her hands sliding down to his bare ass.

“Harder.” She urged him on, her voice sultry, desperate for him to pick up the pace. So he obliged, giving her what she wanted.

Because he always did.

Fliss held on to his ass for dear life, moaning with her body arching in his hands, his hips hitting hers hard with every thrust and before long she let out a loud groan, her hands tightening on his skin as she cried out as he quickened his pace even more, causing her to gasp his name, a broken mumble of the word before she let out a breathless gasp, her voice catching in her throat as the world began to tip on its axis.

“Come on, come for me Lissy…” He whispered, his breath hot on her ear. And that was it, she dropped over the edge, her head falling back as her hands slid up and grasped tightly on the hem of his shirt as she clenched around him, again and again, groaning and trembling, powerless to stop her body’s reactions. It took him another couple of thrusts before he gave a soft “oh” of pleasure, her name tumbled from his mouth before he bit down on her shoulder softly, reacting his own end. He gave a few erratic thrusts, pumping with short, deep strokes which sent her over another peak, but this was feeble as she collapsed forward, her head laying on his shoulder, utterly spent. They stayed still for a moment, chests heaving as Frank holding Fliss close to him, as they both evened out from their high.

“Love you.” She whispered softly, kissing the tip of his nose causing him to smile, that cheeky smile he saved just for her before his lips met hers again “Good, because I love you too sweetheart, more than you could ever know.”

*****

Once they had tidied themselves up and finished sorting the kitchen out, Alex decided it was time for a feed. They settled on the couch, Fliss nursing their son, Frank's arm round her shoulder, fingers tracing shapes on the top of her arm simply watching Alex feed. When he was done, Frank took him, having missed his morning cuddles with his boy and the three of them sat on the couch, Frank resting his feet on the coffee table, knees pointing to the ceiling so Alex could lay flat against his thighs looking up at his parents. His tiny hands fisted around Frank’s index fingers and he flashed his momma and daddy several huge baby smiles as they talked to him, Fliss capturing the moments on her phone. It wasn't long before his eyes grew heavy and Fliss felt hers doing the same so they set their son down to nap before settling down for one themselves. Fliss shifted so her head was lay in Frank's lap, his hand gently carding through her hair as they both succumbed to the fact neither had slept much the night before. The two of them woke with a jolt an hour and a half later when Mary walked in the door. In the afternoons she was allowed to walk from the school bus stop on the main road because three other kids came the same way and she could peel off from them up the long drive. She looked at the pair of them as they blinked themselves out of sleep and shook her head, telling them both that only old people and babies napped during the day and she wasn’t sure which category they fell into.

Once she had fully come round, Fliss changed into her riding gear ready to head back to the yard and gave a small yell of victory when she managed to fasten the button on her breeches. She walked into the family room and grinned at Frank, pointing out the fact she was back into her pants, even if they were elasticated slightly, and he smirked, giving her ass a stinging slap.

"I prefer you out of them." He quipped, his hands locking at the base of her spine.

Fliss chuckled, her hands curling round his biceps. "And I prefer you dirty but we can’t always have what we want, Sailor."

Frank wrinkled his nose "I already have what I want, Cowgirl" Fliss let out a groan and shook her head as Frank laughed. "I was being serious."

"Course you were, smooth bastard." Fliss rolled her eyes as he shrugged, leaning down to give her a soft kiss.

"You two are gross." Mary mumbled as she walked past them on her way to the fridge to grab a juice box.

“Feel free to leave.” Frank shot at her, “I have the number of a good Children’s Home.”

“Whatever.” She said, her voice airy as she skipped over to the large window seat, hopping up and opening her laptop. 

By the end of the evening Fliss, however, had to concede Mary had a point. Frank had been particularly handsy all night, kissing her or touching her wherever he could. He was affectionate with her anyway, but he seemed to have stepped it up a notch for some reason. 

"What's gotten into you?" Fliss asked him gently when they were getting ready for bed. Frank had just gotten out of the shower and the first thing he'd done upon walking back into their bedroom was pull her in for a searing kiss.

"I just...” He et out a soft sigh, and looked at her a little sheepishly. "If I’m honest, I’m a little concerned you let me off far too easily before so I'm, I dunno, a little thankful I guess."

Fliss cocked her head to one side, her hands sliding up his arms and coming to rest on his shoulders which were speckled with drops of water. "Sailor, it wasn't a case of letting you off easily. I just get that I was wrong too. I was more hurt with what you called me because I know you and I know you meant well so for you to snap like that, I must have pushed you…”

Frank dropped his head giving a heavy sigh. "Sweetheart, that’s not an excuse…”

"Shh." She abruptly cut him off with a finger over his lips. "It’s done, you called me a bitch, I called you an asshole. No one died, no one got struck down by lightning. We move on, okay?"

Frank looked at her, a soft smile on his face. "I love you so faking much" "Well now I know that's true since you gone all Boston on me again." She grinned as his arms circled round her back, pulling her close. His nose gently brushed hers before their lips locked together and with a smirk, Fliss reached down between them and untucked the edge of the towel which was wrapped around his hips, causing it to fall to the floor.

"Whoops." She grinned into the kiss as she gently pivoted shoving Frank gently on the chest. The movement was enough that, coupled with the backs of his knees hitting the bed he fell backwards and sat down as Fliss scrambled over to straddle him.

"Yeah, see, there's only one problem with this scenario." Frank grinned, his hands grasping at the hem of her top as his mouth nipped at her jaw. "You're wearing too many clothes."

"Why don’t you do something about it?" She challenged, her voice a breathy whisper. So he did.

**** Chapter 15

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Riding On Ch 14: Compromise

Summary: Frank is besides himself due to their argument, and Fliss isn’t faring much better…

Warnings: Bad Language words. SMUT (NSFW, no under 18s…)

Pairing: Frank Adler x Fliss Gallagher

A/N:  Yeah, yeah, ok some of you were pretty mad at me at the end of the last chapter so I hope this makes up for it…

Chapter Song: Don’t Go Away by Oasis 

Series Masterlist //  WIYPT Masterlist

Me and you, what's going on? All we seem to know is how to show the feelings that are wrong.

So don't go away, say what you say, but say that you'll stay, forever and a day in the time of my life 'Cause I need more time, yes, I need more time, just to make things right

As soon as he had left the room, Frank was overcome with guilt at what he had said. He had never spoken to her like that before but his temper had just snapped. He hesitated at the first step of the staircase, debating going back to apologise but as he did so he heard Alex's cries die down to a sniffle so he left well alone. She'd calmed him and the last thing he wanted to do was go back in there and upset everyone again.

Instead he decided to head upstairs and wait for her to come back up, only she never did. He lay awake for another hour or so before his eyes could no longer stay open. But a mere 2 hours after finally succumbing to sleep he was woken by his alarm to find Fliss' side of the bed still empty.

He found her stretched out on the sofa, the throw blanket pulled over her body. Another pang of guilt washed over him as he walked over, brushing the hair off her face to see her eyes rimmed with red. Shaking his head at himself he swallowed and dropped a kiss to her forehead before he checked on Alex who was fast asleep. Then, as quietly as he could be put on a pot of coffee and went to wake Mary for school, that horrible sick, anxious feeling gnawing at his insides.

By the time they both made their way back down, dressed and ready for the day, Fliss had woken and was feeding Alex. She looked up and her eyes locked onto Frank's before she turned them to Mary and gave a tired smile, wishing her good morning.

"Liss, do you want any breakfast?" Frank knew his first words to her since the argument should have been an applogy but with Mary in the room he was trying to keep everything calm

“No thanks." She replied, perfectly politely "I'll get something later. Once he's fed I'm going to go upstairs and try and get some sleep."

"Ok." He nodded, turning to Mary "what about you short stack? Cereal, toast..."

"Do we have any waffles?"

"Errrr..." Frank turned to the cupboard, not sure whether they did or not but then Fliss spoke.

"Yeah they're in the bread tin." She informed "I got you some more the other day."

"You're the best Lissy." Mary grinned, settling on the chair round the breakfast bar.

Fliss gave a soft chuckle and looked down at Alex who seemed to have stopped feeding. Frank watched as she rearranged to wind him her eyes still not meeting his.

"Can Rosie come stay this Saturday?" Mary asked and Frank's eyes turned to her.

"As in sleep over?"

Mary nodded. Frank turned to Fliss who looked at him and shrugged. "It's fine by me." She said.

Mary grinned and then she paused "Oh, we said we would check Monty this morning to make sure he wasn't stiff after yesterday."

"Already done." Fliss appeased "Jo fed this morning and sent me a message. She turned him out to pasture for the day and his legs are fine. I suggest you let him have today and tomorrow off so he can rest then maybe me and you can take him and Heidi down to the trail ride on Wednesday after school."

Mary beamed "that sounds great."

They finished breakfast. If was quiet between Frank and Fliss but civil. However, when he left for work be bent down as normal to peck her goodbye and she turned her head so he caught her cheek. All things considered he couldn't blame her so he didn't make a fuss about it. Instead he picked up his keys, walked Mary down to the bus for school and then headed to work.

**** Fliss didn't go back to bed. She couldn't. Instead she dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt, and went over to the yard for an hour or so to chat to Joanne and look at the lessons scheduled for that week.

"Has the Friday afternoon class been cancelled?" Fliss frowned.

"Just for this week." Jo, who was enjoying cuddles with Alex, looked at her nodding. "I’m off this weekend for my sister's wedding and Olivia can't cover the teaching. The Yard is covered though, we got the yard hands and..."

"Hey, Jo...it’s OK I trust you." Fliss smiled. "And I'd completely forgotten about the wedding. Are you excited?"

Joanne smiled "Yeah. It’s going to be awesome. She has a fantastic live band playing and it’s been months since I went back to Atlanta."

Fliss smiled "look, why don't you take a few more days. You deserve it. You've worked so hard the last 6 months or so and you should take the time to spend with your family."

"Oh no, I can't..."

"Yes you can." Fliss cut off her protests and looked at her "Between me, Olivia and the stable hands we can cope. You're already off until Wednesday. Just take a week."

"That...that would be amazing." Jo smiled "thank you so much."

Fliss shrugged, "its fine..."

At that Alex gave a little murmur which Fliss knew all too well was a threat he was going to cry so she gestured for Joanne to hand him back. He pressed his face into her neck, his tiny nose brushing against her skin and she gave a soft smile, kissing his head.

"He's adorable." Joanne smiled and Fliss beamed at her.

"Yeah..." she tipped her head to look at him."Yeah he is." She studied her baby’s profile for a moment, noticing just how alike his nose and eye shape was to Frank’s, before she shook herself back to the here and now. "I'll take Friday's afternoon lessons. Call everyone who was booked on and offer them back a place."

"Are you sure?' Joanne frowned "I mean..."

"It’s an hour." Fliss said, shrugging "my mom will watch him or he can nap in the office. It’s cool enough and the baby monitor is wired to my phone..."

"Ok, you're the boss" Joanne nodded.

"At least you recognise that." Fliss mumbled.

"Huh?" Joanne frowned and Fliss shook her head

"Nothing, ignore me." She sighed "ok, I'm gonna take Thor for a quick walk down the pasture path and head home. I'll be over later to ride Cap. I'll feed so you can take an early finish"

Jo smiled "That would be great, I'll make sure it’s all ready."

Fliss smiled before she placed Alex in the stroller and she pushed him over the yard towards the path that led down to the various fields the horses were in. She walked, Thor running ahead slightly, sniffing at any interesting smells he found, and Fliss smiled as her old faithful mare gave a loud whinny and came trotting to her field gate. "Hey Hides." She reached out to stroke her nose "how you doing?"

She watched as Heidi bent her neck to take a look at the curious little item in the stroller before Alex gave a wiggle and the horse jumped back slightly, giving a snort. Fliss chuckled "you daft sod." She reached out and gave her neck a scratch before the sound of her phone ringing made her reach for it.

"Hi Bonnie."

"Oh my God Fliss, I nearly called you last night but it was late when we got back and..." her best friend instantly rambled on and Fliss grinned as she had a feeling she knew what she was going to say "...but Simon asked me to marry him this weekend and I said yes!"

"Bonnie that’s amazing!" Fliss beamed as she held the phone to her ear "I’m so happy for you and I need all the details!"

"It’s such a long story but we went for a meal in this gorgeous restaurant on Times Square and afterwards as we were walking back through central park he got down on one knee and…” Bonnie gave a sigh “He made me cry.”

Fliss gave a little chuckle “Oh babes, that’s fantastic!”

“We’ve not told the rest of the gang yet, Simon thought we could all go out on Friday and do it properly if you’re up for it?”

Fliss hesitated. She had been about to accept, but with the way things were between her and Frank, she wasn’t sure what was going to be happening that evening, let along the weekend.

"Fliss?" Bonnie's voice hit her ear "you still there?" "Yeah sorry...was just...it doesn't matter. Friday sounds great."

"Are you OK?" Bonnie asked.

"Nothing to worry about. Just had an argument with Frank but we'll sort it out, we always do."

"What about?"

"Me going back to work" Fliss shook her head "but honestly, don't worry. I certainly don't wanna drag your good mood down or eat up your break."

“You're not." Bonnie assured her "I got 10 minutes. Lord knows you put up with my complaints often enough."

Fliss took a deep breath and explained to Bonnie inlarge handfuls so as not to swamp her with details and when she reached the bit about Frank calling her a bitch Bonnie took a sharp inhale of breath.

"Oh Fliss..." she sighed "Sounds like you both said a few things you didn't mean."

"I know." Fliss said quietly, feeling the tears sting her eyes "I just don't see why he can't see it from my point of view."

"Can you see it from his?" Bonnie challenged.

"What him wanting me to be a stay at home mom?"

"That's not what I got from that." Bonnie placated her softly "Not at all. He just wants you to take some time. Having a baby is a huge thing, Liss. It takes time to adjust. I think Frank is worried if you rush you'll burn out."

Fliss stayed silent, Bonnie's words slowly sinking in.

"I get your point of view, you want to get back to normal but...well, I kinda see his too." Bonnie said gently, and then a bell sounded on the other end of the phone. "I gotta go Fliss but...just talk to him, and listen. I mean really listen. If you need me later give me a call."

“Thanks Bon...oh and congratulations again. I'm so happy for you." Fliss changed to subject, focusing on the reason her best friend had called in the first place. “Oh, and send me a photo if your diamond! I wanna see it!" ***** Frank tapped at the keyboard, scanning the list of jobs, his mind whirring. He needed something physical to do today, to keep him focussed and his mind off thinking about what an asshole he’d been last night and early this morning. As he realised all the repair jobs had been allocated, he gave a low growl of frustration.

“You alright Frank?”

His head jerked up from the screen and he looked at Alan who was leaning on the door frame.

“Yeah, I just fancied doing a repair or something today but they’re all booked out.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“You bored of management already?” Alan teased and Frank gave a shake of his head.

“No, just…well to be honest I could do with the distraction.” He said, dragging his hand over his face.

“From the look of you, you could do with a good sleep too.” Alan mused, stepping into the office.

“You’re not wrong.” Frank mumbled. “That little pup of yours keeping you awake?”

“Something like that.” Frank looked at the screen before he looked up at Alan “What are you doing here anyway? Thought you and the Mrs were off to Toronto?”

“We fly tomorrow.” Alan looked at Frank, cocking his head to one side. “Frank, are you sure you’re ok buddy?”

Frank leaned back in his chair letting out a heavy breath “Had an argument with Fliss last night, I didn’t sleep well. Breakfast this morning wasn’t particularly friendly.”

“Ah.” Alan said, closing the door behind him as he sat down in the chair on the opposite side of Frank’s desk. “A bad argument or…”

“Bad enough for me to end up calling her a bitch.” Frank shook his head, looking down at the desk. “Which I’m not proud of, believe me.”

“We all say shit we don’t mean in the heat of the moment.” Alan said wisely “Christ, if I had a dollar for every time me and Annette had hurled abuse at one another, well I’d have 6 of these damned shops instead of just 1.”

Frank gave a small smile, before his face slipped again and he glanced at his boss. “Her ex used to call her names like that, and…”

“Hey, woah.” Alan looked at him, cutting him off “I’ve heard all about that shit bag from Bill and I can tell you right now Frank, you are not that guy.”

Frank took a deep breath, licking his lips.

“It’s really bothering you isn’t it?” Alan said gently and Frank raised his eyebrows.

“We’ve argued before…” he said, “This just…I dunno. It’s the first time she ever frustrated me enough to make me say such a shitty thing.”

“Well…” Alan leaned back. “That’s what being in love does to you pal. We lash out at the people we care about most, because they frustrate the fuck out of us and we don’t know how else to deal with it.”

Frank pondered his words for a moment. He loved Fliss beyond what he felt anyone could comprehend and sometimes, like yesterday, when they argued it became a frustration because he didn’t want to argue with her. He wasn’t naïve enough to thing that everything would always be hearts and roses, but at the same time he was sappy enough to want it to be. And when it wasn’t, it bugged the fuck out of him because he was so consumed by this utter love for the woman he wanted to share the rest of his life with, he sometimes didn’t know how to react when they fought. He appeased her most of the time, because it was easier, but damned it last night she spiked something inside him with her inability to listen to the point he was trying to make.

Fuck, he had to make this right. He couldn’t spend the rest of the day in some kind of stupid, angry limbo. He looked at Alan and took a deep breath.

“Any chance I can have the afternoon off?” he hopefully asked “See if I can go and sort this mess out.”

Alan smiled “Hey, you’re the boss now. Do what you want. Book it as leave or make the hours up, whatever.”

“Thanks.” Frank smiled at him. “I appreciate it.”

Alan nodded and stood up. “Oh, before I go, the reason I actually came to see you was that we had an enquiry the other day about a sale. From someone you might know.”

“Oh?” Frank asked, looking at Alan. “Who was it?”

“Jon Gruden.” Alan smiled and Frank felt his mouth drop open.

“No shit!” he grinned before he paused “What the fuck does he want with a boat? I thought he lived in Nevada.”

“Well, apparently when he isn’t coaching the Raiders he’s residing in his second home in Tampa.” Alan shrugged “And he wants a boat. I figured given your love for football you might fancy handling that one yourself.”

“Absolutely.” Frank grinned “Thanks Alan.”

“No problems, he’s gonna call to arrange an appointment. Now get yourself off and sort things with your Mrs.”

Frank nodded “I’ll do my best.”

Alan gave him another smile and left the office, leaving the door open. Frank leaned back once more, before he reached for his phone which was laying on the desk, smiling at the photo he had taken just yesterday afternoon at Mary’s show. Mary was grinning ear to ear as she sat atop of Monty, Fliss stood by her side, Alex in her arms arranged so he too was facing the camera. He’d changed the screensaver over immediately after taking it, he’d loved the damned shot that much.

He scrolled through to his key contacts and flicked the green call button by the side of Fliss’ name. The phone rang out a few times, and for a horrible moment he thought she was going to ignore him, but then the dial tone stopped.

"Hi." Her tone was flat.

"Hey... erm, are you home?" He paused and grimaced. Fuck, it sounded like he was checking up on her and he hastily started to try to explain. "Not that it matters, I just..."

"No, I mean yeah...sorta...was just out walking with Thor and Alex down the fields." She cut him off, her tone maintaining neutral. He supposed he should be thankful she wasn’t ranting at him. 

"Ok. Well I'm coming home." he informed her

"Why?" her voice was puzzled. 

"Because I can't concentrate Lissy" He sighed. "I hate being at odds with you. I just... " he swallowed thickly and rubbed his eye, tiredly "I wanna make it right so, I'm taking the afternoon off and I'm hoping we can talk?"

There was silence on the other end, other than a bark from Thor and then he heard her sniffle a little, her reply quiet. "Yeah. OK"

"Baby don't cry." He said softly, the lump in his throat growing bigger. “Please…”

"Sorry I just..." she took a deep breath "I'll see you in half an hour or so"

And with that she hung up.

Frank tossed the phone back onto his desk, tapping his fingers against the arm of his chair before he stood up, turned off his laptop and retrieved the keys to his truck from the drawer of his desk. He strode out into the shop floor, instructed his Team Leader to call him if there was an emergency, otherwise he was unavailable for the rest of the afternoon. **** Fliss stood looking at the screen on her phone, the photo of Frank, Mary and Alex looking back up at her. She swallowed a little, but before she could think about what Frank had said any more a WhatsApp message came through from Bonnie. It was a picture of her ring. It was a fairly large, brilliant cut diamond solitaire, set into an elaborately twisted white gold band. It was stunning, and exactly Bonnie’s style.

She tapped a message out telling Bonnie it was gorgeous before she shoved the phone in the back pocket of her cut- off jeans and then glanced at her own engagement ring on her left hand, watching as it caught the sunlight, looking even more shiny and sparkly than usual. She adored the design of it. It was delicate, nothing like the hideously large one John had given her. Frank had put a lot of thought into the type of thing she would like, as opposed to simply picking something to show off how much he could afford. It was all about her. As Alex made a small noise from the pram she instinctively reached down with her right hand to softly rub at his chest, an action the baby found soothing. As she did, her new ring, her 'Push Present' as Bonnie and Roberta called it caught her eye. It was an emerald cut sapphire, very similar in size and shape to the stone in her engagement ring, and it was set into a simple plain white gold band. Frank had given it to her at the hospital just before they brought Alex home. "Blue for a boy" he'd smiled as she'd beamed up at him before kissing him softly and thanking him for being such a thoughtful, soft sap.

And that was her sailor all over. A thoughtful, soft sap that was so distraught at having called her a bitch he was taking the afternoon off work because he couldn't concentrate until he'd made things right.

Fuck, Bonnie was right. She'd gotten Frank's intentions here all wrong. So very wrong.

Yes, he had shocked her. Fliss has never thought Frank had it in him to be so downright vile enough to call her a name like he did, but now she realised that she hadn't made things easy for him. She'd never, ever dared answer John back the way she did Frank as it would result in her getting a beating, and as such, if she was perfectly honest with herself, she struggled with the whole debating side of things. When challenged and unable to articulate her answer in the way she wanted she reverted to silence, in a lot of ways it felt easier. And when pushed she lashed out simply for the reason that sometimes she didn't know what else to do. But the stupid thing was, the fact she felt able to go on the defensive showed just how safe she was with Frank.

Because the worst thing he had ever done, and would ever do was call her a name out of pure frustration.

He shouldn't have done it. That was a given but in the grand scheme of things, as she knew only too well, there were far worse things he could do. But he never would. Because he loved her and he wasn't that type of man. He'd die before he hurt a single hair on her head, on any of their heads for that matter. She glanced at Alex, where he lay, his bright blue eyes looking up at her and she wiped her eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Shall we head back and make your daddy some lunch baby boy?"

She gave a sharp whistle and Thor bounded back to her and the three of them made their way home. Alex was fast asleep when they got home, so Fliss kicked off her sneakers at the door and parked the stroller in the cool of the family room, heading towards the kitchen area. She set about making a quick penne arabiata and a salad. She’d just finished setting two places at the breakfast bar when Frank walked in the door. Immediately his eyes flicked her hers and she gave him a small smile.

“Hi.” He said softly, before his attention turned to his sleeping son. He gently brushed a finger down his cheek before he looked back at Fliss. There was a moment where the two of them simply stared at each other, before Fliss was the first one to move, walking out of the kitchen area. He met her half way, wrapping his arms around her as she pressed her face into his black polo-collared T-shirt.

“I’m sorry.” Frank stuttered, screwing his face up as he lay his cheek on her hair, breathing in her shampoo “Baby, I’m so fuckin’ sorry…”

“Me too.” She sniffed “I hate it when we fight Frankie.”

“I know, I do too.” He said, pulling back a little to cup her face. He wiped her tears with his thumbs, blinking back his own. “I was out of order calling you what I did. I’m so disgusted in myself honey, I can’t…”

“Hey…” She reached up to touch his face, her fingers brushing his stubble “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me.” He said, swallowing thickly “I just…” he trailed off as he shook his head and she smiled up at him.

“Frank, we both said shit we didn’t mean.” She sighed “I called you an asshole, you know, it’s not ok for me to say those things either.”

“I know, but…”

“No buts, ok?” she said, standing on her toes to lightly brush her lips against his. “Come on, I made lunch.”

“You didn’t have to do that.” He said softly as she laced her fingers with his and led him to the place at the bar.

“I wanted to.” She shrugged “Call it a peace offering…that and I was fucking starving so.”

Frank snorted “Should have known there was an ulterior motive.”

“You wanna eat your food or wear it?” Fliss asked, shooting him a look as he settled down on the stool. Frank chuckled and watched her as she placed the salad dish down on the side before resting the pasta dish on the heat mat that was on the counter. She turned back to the fridge, Frank simply drinking her in as she bent over slightly, the pure domesticity of the scene washing over him as she padded bare foot back towards him, two beers in her hands.

She placed one down and sat next to him, Frank dishing out their food and they silently tucked in, but the silence was a comfortable one in contrast to the dinner they’d shared the night before, and the tense breakfast that morning. Franks left hand gently gave her right knee a soft squeeze and she smiled at him, before she reached for her drink and took a large pull.

“So, we gonna talk about stuff?” she asked, taking the final bite of her lunch before she placed her cutlery down on her empty plate. “I promise I won’t fly off the handle this time.”

Frank took a deep breath and swallowed his last mouthful of food before he licked his lips “OK.” He nodded. “Baby, I never said I didn’t want you to work. Yeah, maybe there was a small part of me that loves this.” He said, waving his hand between them “The idea of just coming home and you being here but I know that’s not what you want, and I’d never, ever dream of making you give up everything you’ve worked for just because of some…weird domestic fantasy I have, which for the record, really freaks me the fuck out.” “What do you mean?” Fliss asked.

“I never in a million years ever dreamed I’d have something like this, someone like you.” He looked at her. “You saw past that utter fuck up I was back then and took me for who I was, Mary too…we made a life together, you gave me the most beautiful gift anyone ever could that’s currently snoring over there in his stroller.”

Fliss looked at him, the tears filling her eyes as he continued.

“I never thought I’d ever get here. A family, a home, and a job that means I can provide for you all.” he swallowed a little, as he shook his head “…I’m not explaining this very well.”

“I get it.”  Fliss looked at him, “I do Frank, because I never thought I’d ever have this either.” She reached out and took his hand which was resting on the counter top, squeezing his fingers in hers “It’s so mundane, its normal and it’s such a stupid thing to be grateful for, but every time that door goes and you come home, I feel happiness instead of fear about what mood you’re going to be in and whether or not it means I’m gonna get a kicking.”

Frank bowed his head, shaking it softly as his hand tightened around hers. “Lissy, don’t…”

“It’s true.” She said gently “And last night, earlier this morning when you accused me of likening you to John…there’s not a single time, ever, that I’ve done that. Because you’re nothing like him. And me accusing you of trying to control me was a low blow. I know that’s not what you were doing.”

“I just want you to take time, not to rush things.” He said gently. “But if going back to work and expanding is what you really wanna do then…”

“No, it’s not.” She shook her head “Well, it is but you’re right. I was over there before with Joanne looking at the diary and it would be too much. I don’t want to miss out on him growing up. I mean, God, I go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning and I swear he’s changed in the hours we’ve been asleep.”

Frank chuckled “I know. Before we know it he’ll be walking, talking and answering me back…”

“Don’t.” Fliss groaned as she shook her head smiling “But you were right, so many women would kill to be in my position. So, I thought maybe I could go back first of all, just do maybe one day a week teaching and a couple of evenings where I finish off for Joanne. I can do the rest of the stuff like the publicity and organising, emails that type of stuff from home. And, when he’s a little older then I can work my way back up to more.”

“A compromise.” Frank smiled and Fliss shrugged.

“Yeah, I can be reasonable at times.”

“Sounds good to me.” Frank nodded

“Good, because I’m covering a lesson on Friday.” She smirked and Frank gave a snort, shaking his head. “Just one, for an hour or so. Joanne’s away this week and I don’t want to let the clients down.”

“You don’t need to explain…”

“And I want to buy the land.” She said, looking at him. “Just so it belongs to Sandybrook. We can use it for grazing, maybe even a grass jumping paddock, just until we’re ready to start thinking about expanding.”

“Ok.” Frank nodded “Make the call, put an offer in.”

She leaned over and gave him a quick peck. “Thank you.” she whispered against his mouth before she stood up to clear the breakfast bar down.

“I’ll do that.” He stood up, “You cooked so…”

“It won’t take me long” she shrugged “Honestly I don’t mind.”

“Are we gonna have an argument now about who does the dishes?” he teased and she let out a soft laugh.

“No, because they’re going in Dusty.” “You know, I never met anyone who named a dishwasher before.” Frank teased as he moved to grab a tupperware container to place the left over pasta in.

“Well he’s an important part of our life.” Fliss said seriously “I couldn’t cope without him.” 

Frank chuckled as he ladled the pasta into the container, snapping the lid shut before he haphazardly slung it in the fridge. He moved behind Fliss, his arms circling her waist as he pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Why don’t we go out Friday night? Mary’s going to Roberta’s, I’m sure your mom and dad would watch Alex for us.”

“We can’t…” Fliss said suddenly and Frank gave a groan.

“Why not? Come one we haven’t been out together since before he was born. We can grab dinner, a few drinks…”

“No, I mean….there might be something planned.” Fliss said, tossing the cloth she’d been wiping the place they’d just eaten down with into the sink.

“Oh?” he asked, and she turned in his arms, looking up at him.

“I got a call from Bonnie before, Simon finally got down on one knee.” “Huh, no kidding!” Frank grinned, before he pouted slightly “The little shit never told me.”

“Yeah well, she said that they were thinking of going out on Friday, all of us and telling everyone then so…”

“OK, well, we can grab an earlier dinner and meet them after.” He reasoned “Hey, there’s another compromise.”

Fliss chuckled, her hands sliding up his chest, fingers lacing together behind his neck “Yeah, we’re getting kinda good at this.”

“I know something else we’re kinda good at too…” he grinned and she scoffed, arching an eyebrow.

“You’re a dirt bag.” She mumbled as his head dropped towards hers.

“You love it.” He muttered, his lips pressing to hers. As the kiss deepened, Frank’s hands moved gently round to her back, one splaying at the base of her spine, the other sliding in her hair as their tongues tangled in the familiar yet oh so damned good dance. With a grin he reached down, hooked his hands under her thighs and lifted her easily, setting her on the counter in front of him. She smirked a little against his lips and he gave a chuckle, the kiss resuming, her legs hooking round his waist and she pulled him closer, causing him to grunt a little.

“You want something pretty girl?” he teased, pulling back a little.

Fliss bit her lip, her hands sliding up his arms. “Yeah, can you go to the garage and maybe smear a bit of oil or motor grease onto your arms…maybe a bit on your cheek?”

“You have an unhealthy obsession with dirt, you know that?” he looked at her and she shook her head.

“No, I have an unhealthy obsession with dirt on you…” she corrected, her arms once more round his neck. “I totally loathe Alex’s nappy changes, for the record.”

Frank snorted “Yeah, they’re not great. Just wait till he starts solids.”

“Yeah, ok, stop talking shit Frank and fuck me.”

“Talking shit…” he said, completely ignoring her request despite the fucking hotwire it had sent to his already half erect cock “I see what you did there.”

“Whatever, get on with the other part.”

“Which was?” he teased.

She looked at him, realising instantly he was playing around so she smirked a little and leaned forward, her lips brushing his ear. “Fuck me, Adler.”

“But I’m not covered in dirt…” he said, turning his head to look at her, his lips ghosting hers.

Fliss paused, her eyes flicking around before she grinned a she spotted the dirty pasta dish to the side of her. In flash she wiped her finger round the edge of the dish and smeared the tomato sauce straight across his cheek and down his beard.

“Now you are.” She looked at him, as he stared at her in shock, open mouthed before he gave a scoff.

“You want me to fuck you Cowgirl, you’re gonna have to lick that off my face.”

Her eyes locked onto his, she stuck her finger in her mouth sucking it clean and his eyes darkened a little as she released it with a loud pop and gave a shrug.

“Ok.” She smirked, her hand tangling in his hair as she pulled his head towards her. She gently placed her mouth against his face, sucking and licking at the offending food, making her way down his cheek to his jaw line, where she continued her affections. Frank gave a sigh, tipping his head slightly to give her more access as she skated across his short whiskers to the other side, her kisses trailing back upwards before her mouth caught his again.

“God I fucking love you…” he mumbled, his arms pulling her closer.

“Yeah?” she asked as his hands gripped at her hips.

“Yeah…” he said, standing in between her legs, his mouth dropping to her neck. She rolled her head back, as he nipped at her pulse-point, before his lips moved to that hollow at the bottom of her throat, his beard scratching her skin as his lips slid back up to hers and he kissed her hard. His hands moved to pop the button on her jeans before he gently grasped at the waistband and she shifted to allow him to pull them down over her legs, tossing them to one side. His hands slipped up underneath the blue top she was wearing, pulling down the cups of her bra. His hands gently teased at her nipples, all the time listening to the soft noises and groans she was making as he continued, his nose brushing against hers, smiling softly.

“You like that?” he whispered, knowing full well that she did, but he knew she liked his soft dirty talk and she gave a sigh and a nod, followed by a little squeak as he shifted her underwear to one side and pushed two fingers insider her.

Her head fell forward onto his shoulder as her hands grasped at his back through his T-shirt, and as he continued to stroke and coax her she bit down on his neck causing him to hiss slightly at the bite of pain.

“Need you…” she purred into his ear “Please.”

And when she asked like that, he was always powerless to refuse. This woman was his absolute weakness.

He moved his head to kiss her again, and removing his hand from her panties he reached up and pulled them down before he stood up, and she reached for the button and zip on his jeans. Once she’d gotten them open, she pushed them down, over his slim hips as Frank’s hands moved to her back and he gently pulled her forwards, sliding her towards him, letting her feel how ready he was. She reached down and gently gave his hard cock a pump up and down and he let out a groan as he pulled her off the counter slightly, her legs wrapping around his waist, arms round his neck, her lower back resting against the side of the worktop both of them letting out a load moan of satisfaction as he pushed forward, all the way home.

Frank’s head dropped to Fliss’ shoulder, his mouth once more on the pulse point in her neck as he thrust again, his hands on her back, keeping her supported slightly

“God you feel so good…” he said, his lips moving back to hers as he set a pace that was torturously slow, and deep, and loving. Thrust after thrust he kept his lips either on hers or centimetres away, watching her intently as her pupils blew as he worked her up, driving into her, as deep as he could go, one hand resting at the back of her spine to keep her back from slamming into the harsh marble edge of the counter, the other guiding her head so he could kiss her, hard.

Her hands moved, the nails scraping lightly at the nape of his neck, and Frank felt himself falter for a split second at her touch.  

“Fuck baby…” he groaned into her mouth as she grinned cheekily, her hands sliding down to his bare ass.

“Harder, please Frankie…” she urged him on, her voice sultry, desperate for him to pick up the pace. So be obliged, giving her what she wanted.

Because he always did.

She held on to his ass for dear life, moaning with her body arching in his hands, the fabric of his jeans chafed delectably against her thighs, his hips hitting hers hard with every thrust and before long she let out a loud groan, her hands tightening on his skin as she cried out as he quickened his pace even more, causing her to gasp his name, a broken mumble of the word “Frankie…” before she let out a breathless gasp, her voice catching in her throat as the world began to tip on its axis.

“Come on, come for me Lissy…” he whispered, his breath hot on her ear. And that was it, she dropped over the edge, her head falling back as her hands slid up and grasped tightly on the hem of his shirt as she clenched around him, again and again, groaning and trembling, powerless to stop her body’s reactions. It took him another couple of thrusts before he gave a soft “oh” of pleasure, her name tumbled from his mouth before he bit down on her shoulder softly, reacting his own end. He gave a few erratic thrusts, pumping with short, deep strokes which sent her over another peak, but this was feeble as she collapsed forward, her head laying on his shoulder, utterly spent. They stayed still for a moment, the only sound in the room was their deep breathing, Frank holding her close to him, as they both evened out from their high.

“Love you…” she said softly, kissing the tip of his nose causing him to smile, that cheeky smile he saved just for her before his lips met hers again

“Good, because I love you too sweetheart, more than you could ever know.”

*****

Once they had tidied themselves up and  finished sorting the kitchen out, Alex decided it was time for a feed. They settled on the couch, Fliss nursing their son, Frank's arm round her shoulder, fingers tracing shapes on the top of her arm. When Alex was done, Frank took him, having missed his morning cuddles with his boy and the three of them sat on the couch, Frank resting his feet on the coffee table, knees pointing to the ceiling so Alex could lay flat against his thighs looking up at his parents. His tiny hands fisted around Frank’s index fingers and he flashed his momma and daddy several huge baby smiles as they talked to him, Fliss capturing the moments on her phone. It wasn't long before his eyes grew heavy and Fliss felt hers doing the same so they set their son down to nap before settling down for the afternoon. Fliss shifted so her head was lay in Frank's lap, his hand gently carding through her hair s they both succumbed to the fact neither had slept much the night before.

The two of them woke with a jolt an hour and a half later when Mary walked in the door. In the afternoons she was allowed to walk from the school bus stop on the main road because 3 other kids came the same way and she could peel off from them up the long drive. She looked at the pair of them as they blinked themselves out of sleep and shook her head, telling them both that only old people and babies napped during the day.

Once she had fully come round, Fliss changed into her riding gear ready to head back to the yard and gave a small yell of victory when she managed to fasten the button on her breeches. She walked into the family room and grinned at Frank, pointing out the fact she was back into her pants, even if they were elasticated slightly, and he smirked, giving her ass a stinging slap.

"I prefer you out of them." He quipped, his hands locking at the base of her spine

Fliss chuckled, her hands curling round his biceps. "And I prefer you dirty but we can’t always have what we want, Sailor."

Frank wrinkled his nose "I already have what I want Cowgirl"

Fliss let out a groan and shook her head as Frank laughed. "I was being serious."

"Course you were, smooth bastard." Fliss rolled her eyes as he shrugged, leaning down to give her a soft kiss.

"You two are gross..." Mary mumbled as she walked past to the fridge to grab a juice box.

“Feel free to leave.” Frank shot at her, “I have the number of a good Children’s Home…”

“Whatever…” she said, her voice airy as she skipped over to the large window seat, hopping up and opening her laptop. 

By the end of the evening Fliss, however, had to concede Mary had a point. Frank had been particularly handsy all night, kissing her or touching her wherever he could.

"What's gotten into you?" She asked him gently when they were getting ready for bed. Frank had just gotten out of the shower and the first thing he'd done upon walking back into their bedroom was pull her in for a searing kiss.

"I just..." he let out a soft sigh, and looked at her a little sheepishly "I’m a little concerned you let me off far too easily before so I'm, I dunno, a little thankful I guess.”

Fliss cocked her head to one side, her hands sliding up his arms and coming to rest on his shoulders which were speckled with drops of water. "Sailor, it wasn't a case of letting you off easily.

I just get that I was wrong too. If I'm honest I was more hurt with what you called me because I know you and I know you meant well so for you to snap like that, I must have pushed you…”

Frank dropped his head giving a heavy sigh. "Sweetheart, that’s not an excuse…” "Shh." She abruptly cut him off with a finger over his lips. "Stop apologising. It’s done, you called me a bitch, I called you an asshole. No one died, no one got struck down by lightning...we move on. Ok?"

Frank looked at her, a soft smile on his face. "I love you so faking much"

"Well now I know that's true since you gone all Boston on me..." she grinned as his arms circled round her back, pulling her close. His nose gently brushed hers before their lips locked together and with a smirk, Fliss reached down between them and untucked the edge of the towel which was wrapped around his hips, causing it to fall to the floor.

"Whoops." She grinned into the kiss as she gently pivoted shoving Frank gently on the chest. The movement was enough that, coupled with the backs of his knees hitting the bed he fell backwards and sat down as Fliss scrambled over to straddle him.

"Yeah, see, there's only one problem with this scenario..." Frank said, his hands grasping at the hem of her top as his mouth nipped at her jaw. "You're wearing too many clothes."

"Why don’t you do something about it?" She said, her voice a breathy whisper. So he did.

[vanillawinston]

Remember| Chapter THREE

Summary:  Announced for dead Emma Salvatore was carried to her grave 1865, just to awake decades later without the memories of her last days being alive. After a fatal encounter she not only loses her heart to a certain vampire, but also gets closer to the hands of death again, clearly to the dislike of her beloved brothers. Trying to remember her own past, she comes up with the questions of what happened 1865, how she survived and what secret Kol Mikaelson is hiding from her?

Kol x OC (Emma Salvatore)

Warning for this chapter: /

Previous chapter HERE

Back to the start HERE

Words: 2160

It felt like half a lifetime in which I sat on a bench, tried to warm my cold body with Sheriff Forbes's jacket. I've stopped asking myself why the whole town looked so different, since when a woman was our sheriff, what weird widget she had used to contact my brothers; I was just happy to know that they were alive, that they were both in town and would come to get me. The sheriff was very kind to me during this time. She calmed me down, asked me questions, but I was too scared to answer her properly. If she knew from where I just came, she would definitely think I'm crazy and insane. She would believe I was a witch or a demonic child and then I would burn on a stake. The thought of burning made me dizzy. To think about how the hot flames would burn away my skin, my flesh, how the heat would engulf my body, it was scary.

"Stefan and Damon have only mentioned you one time before," the sheriff told me, looked insecure, "They said you are dead and that for a long time now."

"Must certainly be a horrible mistake," I said quietly, was nervous, but where are they? They should hurry! I need answers, I didn't want to lie any further to this kind woman and I just wanted to go home, wherever this was.

"Emma!" My heart humped excitedly when I heard this wonderful, calming voice I wanted to hear for the last hours now. I jumped to my feet, saw to Stefan, who stood closely to Damon, and both of them looked at me like I was some ghost. Both of them didn't look much older which clearly told me that not much time could have passed by but still they were somehow different. Their hair looked different, their clothes were weird and when I saw their faces I saw that they have suffered a lot and I was so confused about what had happened to them, to the city and to me.

"You are here," I breathed, smiled and ran to Stefan, hugged him and he hugged me back with all his power and it felt a little bit like he would soon break all my bones, but I didn't care; it was so good to see him, to know they were both here. It was like I could finally take a break from this nightmare, could breathe freely again and I was just so happy.

"How is this possible?" Damon asked suspiciously, and when I let go of Stefan, I saw that my oldest brother was skeptical about this whole situation.

"I don't get it neither, you died," Stefan said and hold my hands in his like he made sure I wouldn't disappear again, and I was pleased by this, but it made me feel safe.

"I don't remember a thing," I said, felt so lost and hoped for answers. "The last thing I remember before the darkness came, was that I had been happy." It was the truth. I knew that my last memory with Stefan hadn't been my last moment alive, but whatever had happened before my death, I knew that I had been happy, so incredible and absolutely happy even though I had no idea why.

"And what exactly happened?" Stefan asked me softly while Damon still seemed confused.

"I woke up in a casket and thought I would choke in there, but someone freed me, even though I don't know who. I haven't seen anyone and so I just went home but..."

"Home doesn't exist anymore. The house burned down 1865," Damon said and seemed thoughtful, while I just got so many more questions spinning in my head.

"And which year is this? Everything looks so... weird." I looked around me, saw how shocked the sheriff looked to us. "We have the year 2010." I shook my head, felt how my knees stopped working and I gave away and almost fell to the ground when Damon hasn't reacted so fast, hold me and sobbing I put my arms around his neck, was happy to be with him, even if I was so confused. I felt lost, couldn't understand a thing, but I was happy to hug Damon again. I haven't hugged him since he went away for the war and now, he was finally back, but somehow over a hundred years had passed by.

"Everything will be ok," he tried to calm me down, sounded now much more emotional, finally accepted that I was real, that I was here and not dead in a casket. How was all of this possible? How could my brothers be here over a hundred years later, still looking so young? How can I wake up again and also be so young? This was impossible, but they had to know the answers.

"You should bring her somewhere else or she might freeze do death," the Sheriff said, and Damon eyed me caringly, searched for other signs that I wasn't all right.

"We should take her to us. I'll call Bonnie and ask her if she can bring some clothes; she is probably the only one with a similar size," Stefan said and took the same little widget out of his pocket the Sheriff had used before. This world was more modern than a hundred years ago, and I had no idea what I should think about it.

"Good, also ask her if she has an idea what the hell is going on here," Damon said, took my hand in his and walked with me toward one of these new, modern carriages, which kind of scared me.

"Why does the carriage doesn't need a horse anymore?" I asked and saw Damon smiling.

"Oh it will be funny to explain everything to you," he laughed, opened the door for me and helped me with a weird seat belt before he went around the carriage and sat down on the seat next to me, started driving. I immediately felt how I got sick, but this was way too fast, it was scary, and my body was too weak from the day, my head got all dizzy from this. Luckily the drive was short, and Damon stopped the carriage in front of a big house, our new house. It was bigger than the old one, but it also looked less friendly, colder and I missed my old home with my whole heart.

"You don't look happy. Don't you like our new home?" he asked me with his typical mocking voice, helped be out of the carriage which he named during the ride as car.

"It looks dark."

"It is, but it is also bigger, and you have more space and peace."

"And father also lives here?" I asked, and saw how Damon tensed up, didn't look happy, not at all. Something did happen.

"Father is dead," he said quietly, and I just looked to the house, felt how something inside of me died a little bit, thought I would fell again to the ground, but I didn't. He was dead. My beloved father was dead. Why? And how? What happened? I was so confused, had so many questions, and thought I would lose my mind with all this confusion.

"He died in the fire."

"So, he died decades ago, and we live, why do we live, Damon?" I asked him desperately, followed him inside the house where it looked a little bit like the old house which calmed me down a bit, but at least not everything has changed.

"It is a little bit complicated," he explained, took the jacket from me and lead me to a big chimney where he gave me a blanket which I immediately put around my body, was happy about the warmth. The coldness inside of me stayed though. I was overwhelmed by all the news, by the death of my father, the change of my world. I had no idea how to live in this new world, without my father by my side. I didn't even know how we have parted. What were my last words? Was he happy before he died? Did we have a fight? Was everything as normal as usual?

"We will try to explain everything to you," Stefan said, and I turned around to face my beloved brother who entered the house in company of a short girl while Damon filled a glass with something alcoholic.

"And she is really your sister?" The girl asked me curiously, and I eyed her confused, but she looked very different than normal girls her age. She wore pants and weird shoes, but otherwise she looked pretty, had nice black hair and a beautiful and kind face.

"Could you please explain all of this to us?" Stefan asked her, and sat down next to me, where he grabbed my hand, like he had to make sure I was real and still here.

"I'm not sure. And you are certain she has died?"

"Yes. We weren't at the funeral, since Stefan and I didn't want to see that, but we had seen her body though," said Damon and looked kind of suspicious again, emptied his glass. He wanted to believe that I was real, that I was here, but I understood his suspiciousness. This was a weird situation after all.

"And she is not like you?" the girl asked, and I looked confused to my brothers, but what does she mean? Like them? In which way?

"Nope, definitely not. She is a normal 16-year-old girl who just kind of woke up from the dead," Damon said, and I sighed frustrated, massaged my temple, but I was exhausted from this day. I just wanted to sleep, and hoped that when I wake up, I could understand everything better, but I knew this would be too easy, and that when I wake up everything would be still confusing and weird.

"Why is it so strange that I'm alive, and that you two are here and haven't aged a day in over a hundred years is so normal?" I asked furiously, but I was sick of not knowing anything, and them keeping obviously secrets from me.

"It is complicated," Stefan tried to calm me, but I just huffed. So, they could wait to answer me, but it was ok for them to ask me everything like it was some crime to wake up again.

"Of course it is."

"Ok, maybe it would be the best thing if she goes to bed. She must be exhausted, and I can help her with everything, and tomorrow we will talk about all of this," the girl said now, tried to stop a fight.

"This is probably the best idea, Bonnie," Stefan said and sighed. Now I knew what her name was, and she told me to follow her which I did after I hugged Stefan again, but when I wake up and he was gone, then I wanted to be close to him one last time at least. Damon was another piece of work. I loved him, I loved him so much, but unlike Stefan he had some trust issues and seemed confused about me not being dead. I also hugged him, but it wasn't as loving as it was with Stefan, since he seemed unsure about what to believe.

Bonnie was a nice girl. She showed me a free room which was in my opinion way too dark and creepy, but this whole house was creepy. She gave me some of her clothes, since she was as tiny as me, and even though the clothes were all very short and weird I wore them. I had to go with the time and nowadays it seemed to be ok to wear this kind of stuff.

"Don't take the weird moods of you brothers too personally. We have some hard times right now, and with you everything got even more strange," Bonnie said friendly after I sat down on my bed, full dressed in new clothes. I felt lost to be here, kind of like in the casket before, but this wasn't what I had expected when I left the cemetery. My whole word has changed, and I had no idea why.

"I've missed so many things." "And we will explain everything to you, but first you should sleep, and when Damon is a pain in the ass, I will kick his butt," she said and perplex of her choice of words I looked to her before I smiled, but I liked this free way of speaking.

"Thank you for everything, Bonnie," I said, and she left me alone, alone with a thousand more questions.

Tag: @xxqueenwxtchxx

Aloha :) I hope you liked it. Sorry for any grammar or editing mistakes. The Gif is NOT mine, if you like to be tagged just tell me xx

[tvdstelenaforever]

Nowhere Like Home

TVD Kai Parker imagine | Who is She? Part 2

Theme: Fluff, smut

Other: Y/N pronoun is she/her and is a human

Plot: Kai coming to the Salvatore Boarding House to talk with the Salvatore Brothers and the Mikaelsons when he comes across Y/N, completely enchanted by her beauty. He is curious about her and wonders why he’s never seen her before. As time goes on and they hang out with each other, they develop feelings for each other.

Word Count: 3.3k

Author’s Note: This is the second part to the fanfic, I hope you enjoy this just as much, if not more than the first part. I am open to constructive criticism. I want to write a part 3, I just need to figure out the story-line. I have something in mind, so it’ll take a while before I’ll be able to publish part 3. In regards to the smut, I am not fully comfortable writing it yet since I am not experienced (this is my first written smut) so I hope you enjoyed what I was able to come up with.

Part 3: Till UnDead Do Us Part

--------------

Y/N and Kai looked each other in the eyes, the longing being overpowering. Y/N immediately grabbed Kai’s face and smashed her lips to his. Kai grabbed her waist as he sunk into the kiss.

Y/N pulled away to catch her breath. She looked into his eyes again and smiled.

Suddenly Kai pulled Y/N close so that their bodies were touching. Kai could feel Y/N’s heart beating quickly so he knew she was into him. He smiled into the kiss, before moving down her body. He started with the neck as he placed kisses sloppily, trailing down her stomach right until the hem of Y/N’s shorts.

Just as Kai was about to touch her right where she wanted, Y/N was brought back to reality. Rubbing her eyes, Y/N let out an exasperated breath. Then she remembered where she was and felt on the edge of tears. Why was she feeling so emotional?

Then it dawned on her. Damon. A sudden burst of anger was let out as Y/N stood up, needing to shake off this feeling. She looked around and was still in the spare room. What time was it? When Y/N went downstairs, she could see her siblings with the Salvatore brothers.

“Y/N, did you have a good beauty sleep?” Klaus winked. Y/N nodded because she thought her voice was going to betray her. Rebekah sensed that something was off but chose to keep quiet. She decided that she would question Y/N about it later.

“We’ve finished our business here in Mystic Falls. Y/N, is there anything that you’d like to do before we leave?” Klaus asked. Y/N wasn’t ready to leave so soon. “Actually, um, I was thinking about staying in Mystic Falls for a little while longer. I’d like an extended break from New Orleans”. Klaus was surprised and took a few seconds to process Y/N’s request. After what felt like an eternity, he made his verdict.

“Well I don’t see why not, you can stay here with the Salvatore’s if they’re happy to host you” Stefan nodded in agreement. “That’s settled then. Rebekah will come and pick you up in a week”. Before the Mikaelsons were about to leave, Rebekah pulled Y/N to the side. A concerned look was worn on her face. “Y/N, are you okay? You seem a little off” Y/N didn’t want to give anything away especially since she wanted her Kai crush to be kept a secret.

“Yes I’m fine, just a little tired is all” Y/N replied with a soft smile. Rebekah didn’t seem convinced but decided not to push it. She pulled Y/N into a warm hug before walking over to their brothers. “Don’t get yourself into any trouble miss” Klaus warned jokingly. Before Y/N could reply, Damon interjected. “She’ll be in good hands with us, don’t you worry” Y/N let out a sigh a bit too loudly and everyone looked at her.

Damon gave her a look, understanding the reason behind the sigh. He gave Y/N a warning eyebrow raise and she rolled her eyes in response. “Okay, well I guess I’ll see you all in a week. Stay safe on your trip back” Y/N said as she went to give all her siblings a goodbye hug. As soon as they left, Damon decided to set some boundaries.

“Y/N, for your safety we’re giving you a curfew of 10 pm and you have to present yourself at least once a day so we know you’re safe”. Not wanting to get into any arguments with the brothers, Y/N accepted. It wasn’t that bad of a rule. Before Y/N had a chance to leave and visit the town, she was told that she could hang out with Elena, Caroline and Bonnie when she wanted. With a smile, she excused herself.

***

Kai was pacing around his living room, thinking about Y/N. He was eager to see her again. He didn’t know how long she was staying so he went to grab his jacket and headed out the door.

When he arrived at the Mystic Grill, he sat at the bar and ordered a whisky. He hoped that by being there that he’d run into Y/N.

Before long, he looked up from his drink and laid eyes upon her. She was accompanied by Caroline and Bonnie as they went to find seats at a booth.

The three girls were laughing together and Kai couldn’t help but notice Y/N’s beauty radiate from her. They ordered drinks and were chatting happily among themselves. Kai swirled his drink around and downed the last of it, slamming the glass down on the counter. 

As he was about to walk towards the girls, he caught sight of Damon and Stefan. He sighed in frustration about having to potentially argue with the boys. Either way, he was going to Y/N. When he finally came into view, Y/N blushed as they locked eyes. 

Damon spotted the young heretic and stood between him and Y/N. “Nuh uh, what did I say about you staying away from Y/N” he accused. Kai’s patience was running thin. Without saying a word, he pushed past Damon and placed his hand on Y/N’s upper back. She shifted slightly under his touch.

“Hey sweetheart, do you want to spend some time with me?” he smiled. Y/N’s cheeks reddened but grinned in response. As Y/N stood, Kai took her hand in his and pulled her away from the booth. 

Damon threw Y/N a cold stare as a warning. Caroline and Bonnie were clearly confused about what was occurring in front of them. They felt uncomfortable being in Kai’s presence and were confused about Y/N’s attraction to him.

“He’s just going to end up hurting you” Caroline stated with concern.

“I’m not going to hurt her” he growled as he brought Y/N close to him by grabbing her waist. Y/N linked her arms around his torso for a close embrace. The look in Damon’s eyes was close to defeat and he sighed. It looked as if forcing both Y/N and Kai to stay away was going to be a tough thing to enforce.

“I promised Klaus I’d keep Y/N safe” Damon iterated. “And I will” Kai smirked, before leaving with Y/N using his magical powers.

***

Y/N sat on Kai’s sofa trying to get comfortable. He handed her a glass of water and she drank it all in one swift motion. Setting the cup aside, Y/N then snaked her arm around Kai as he sat down next to her.

“So tell me more about yourself, what is your favourite pastime? Are you more of an adventurous type or are you more of a homebody?” Y/N asked, wanting to get to know Kai on a deeper level. He smiled, but wasn’t sure how to respond. “Well, I don’t have any friends or family so all I do pretty much is cause havoc in my wake. I guess it’s because I’m bored and need something to do to pass the time. I’ve been so lonely and I know it’s my fault but...” Kai trailed off. 

Y/N gave him an understanding look. She knew about his backstory based on the stories she was told however it was interesting to hear the perspective straight from the horses mouth. “That must be tough, but you’ve got me now”

Kai’s eyes lit up, hearing those words made his heart rate increase. “I’m glad to hear that. I feel safe with you and I’m also really attracted to you”. Y/N swallowed, realising that she wanted to kiss him. As if he read her mind, Kai leaned in and pressed his soft lips to hers. A moan escaped both their mouths.

Before they could continue, Kai pulled away. There was a hunger behind his eyes but forced it away. Y/N traced her index finger across his lips whilst licking her own. “Y/N, I can’t” he said regrettably. “It’s okay, we can continue when you’re ready” Y/N cooed as she sat back against the sofa and holding Kai’s left hand in her right one.

Hours passed as Y/N and Kai sat together chatting idly and having the TV play in the background. It wasn’t until Kai shifted in his seat that Y/N woke up from her nap she didn’t realise that she took. “Maybe I should take you back now?” Kai offered, not really wanting Y/N to leave just yet. Y/N nodded sleepily. 

***

Damon was getting increasingly frustrated at the situation. He was brainstorming ideas with Stefan, Caroline and Bonnie. They could keep Y/N locked in the Boarding House, or they could compel her to stay away from Kai. As Damon was observing his brother and friends, an idea formed in his mind. With a devilish grin, Damon formulated the perfect idea. “Bonnie, I know what we need to do”. 

It was late afternoon when Y/N arrived at the Salvatore Boarding House with Kai. Before they could get to the front door, it opened. Everyone walked out and were face to face. “You’re back, thank goodness” Caroline said as she hugged Y/N.

Damon and Bonnie exchanged a look and nodded in understanding. Bonnie started chanting when suddenly Kai and Y/N felt an invisible tugging.

It finally dawned on Kai what was happening but before he could do anything to stop it, he was hurled across the ground with a strong force. He now found himself back in his old prison world. He screamed out in anger as he fell to his knees. 

Shortly after, a voice came from behind him. “Kai?” As he stood and spun around to face Y/N, he looked at her in confusion. Was this a sick joke to torture him? “Why are they messing with me?” he said as he cried. Y/N was taken aback by the sudden outburst. 

“Kai, it’s really me. Where are we?” Y/N was confused. When realization hit, Kai walked over to Y/N and brought her in for a tight hug. “We’re trapped in my old prison world. It’s where I was sent when my father wanted to get rid of me. There’s no way out”. 

Y/N looked horrified which soon turned into anger. “What, how?! This is all your fault” Y/N exclaimed as she pulled away from him. Kai was caught off guard and automatically felt vulnerable. 

“Don’t you see Y/N? They did this to me to hurt me. I don’t think they meant to send you here too” Tears started to well up in Y/N’s eyes. “I need some space from you, please leave me alone” she cried as she ran off. 

He despised the feeling that was brewing inside of him that was caused from the one and only person that he felt safe with. It stung. 

Y/N was just annoyed at the situation and not actually at Kai. She hadn’t meant to accuse him but the idea of being stuck in a prison world for who knows how long, forever even, was a scary thought. Y/N decided to wonder around, trying to get acquainted with her new reality. 

***

Y/N came across a white house, which was grand in it’s splendor. There was a front porch with a swing and black shutters on every window. There was a massive willow tree in the front yard which was beautiful as the leaves moved with the wind. She went to sit on the swinging chair and inhaled deeply. 

Looking out at the scenery before her, Y/N contemplated what her life was about. She thought back to her family and New Orleans. Then her mind wondered to Kai and his situation. He was all alone with nobody to care about him. It automatically dawned on Y/N that she was the only one who cared for him. She immediately felt bad for their squabble earlier.

Y/N chose to go and find Kai. She walked back the way she came but when she arrived back to the clearing, he was nowhere to be seen. Oh, she thought. Letting out an exasperated sigh, Y/N trudged back towards the house. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Kai standing on the porch before the door.

As she approached and climbed the porch stairs, Kai turned around. His eyes were red, visible sign of crying. The sight of him made Y/N ache for him. “I’m really sorry for how I reacted earlier, I was just scared and angry, but not at you”. The words seemed to wash over him as he ignored Y/N and walked into the house.

Y/N followed suit, needing him to know she was sorry. The interior of the house was warm and cozy. It looked lived in. I suppose it made sense, Kai must have used this as his home the last time he was trapped here. Somehow the home reminded Y/N of the Salvatore Boarding House. That was quite an interesting observation.

Kai walked into the kitchen and got himself a glass, pouring in some bourbon whiskey. Y/N followed him, stopping at the island situated slap-bang in the middle. Staring at Kai until he paid attention to her, Y/N pleaded sorry with her eyes. She could sense that he was tense so she went over to him and hugged him. He froze, before breaking down into the hug and let out some sobs.

“Baby, I’m here” Y/N soothed and Kai tightened the hug. Y/N walked Kai to the living room and made them sit on the sofa. Y/N promised Kai that she was here for him through all his highs and lows. He also promised that he was going to be the man she deserved to be with. After a tiresome day, they both fell asleep in each others arms.

***

It was finally reaching the end of the one month mark of their imprisonment in the prison world. Y/N and Kai’s bond got stronger as they got to know each other more and joke together. Y/N found that Kai had a really good sense of humor and Kai saw just how compassionate Y/N was. The hole in Kai’s heart was slowly starting to heal. 

They both returned from their free shopping trip, putting the groceries away. Kai decided to make Y/N some blueberry pancakes. “Breakfast is served Princess” Kai laughed. Y/N had a huge grin on her face as she saw the pancakes had a smiley face using the blueberries as the eyes, and whipped cream as the nose and smile. Y/N poured maple syrup onto the pancakes and dug in. It was adorable how Kai was secretly a sweetheart. 

Later that day, Y/N was absentmindedly twirling her hair between her fingers as she lay cuddled with Kai on their bed. They were just relaxing when Y/N could feel warm fingers tracing their way up her thighs. She took an intake of breath, keeping very still. She locked eyes with Kai, looking for confirmation. Once she was sure he wasn’t going to pull away, Y/N placed her right hand on the side of his face and placed a soft kiss on his lips. 

Kai closed his eyes as Y/N deepened the kiss. His fingers kept stroking her thighs, until he pressed his fingers to her clit through the fabric of her underwear and started rubbing circles. Y/N tilted her head back against Kai’s chest and let out a moan. His pace quickened and Y/N was left feeling breathless. Once Kai was satisfied, he plunged two of his fingers inside her and moved in and out slowly, picking up the pace when Y/N was grinding her hips against his fingers.

“Mm, that feels so good” Y/N moaned. Then Y/N’s hand trailed down Kai’s chest, making her way down to his jeans. She shoved her hand under the fabric, feeling him hardening. He moaned at the touch, wanting to rip Y/N’s clothes off and see her perfect body.

Kai’s eyes were full of lust, and Y/N bit her lip in response. “Please Kai, I want you” and those words was all the confirmation he needed to pull Y/N’s shirt off, followed by her shorts and underwear. “Gosh, you’re beautiful” Kai smiled.

Y/N proceeded to pull Kai by the collar of his shirt and bring him close to her. Then she used her right hand to unbuckle his belt and undo the button holding his jeans together. Kai then took his jeans and boxers off and discarded them.

She bit her lip at the sight of him. She wanted him to fuck her senseless. He lined up with her entrance, using his thumb to pleasure her clit. As he pushed in, Y/N let out a deep moan. He started slow, letting Y/N get used to him. Kai then quickened his pace as he held onto her hips.

Y/N dipped her head back, eyes rolling. “Please go faster, you feel so good inside me” she pleaded. Kai loved the sight in front of him and was happy to oblige. Y/N’s walls were starting to clench around his length which meant she was starting to reach her climax.

He kept moving in and out of her to ride out her orgasm and soon his own orgasm washed over him. Kai moaned against Y/N’s mouth as his eyes closed shut. When they calmed down Kai pulled out and rolled over on the bed, taking Y/N in for a warm embrace.

“I love you” Y/N said breathlessly. Kai’s eyes seemed to water at those words. “I love you too Y/N”.

Y/N felt lightheaded but was still feeling like she was on cloud nine. There was nowhere else she’d rather be right now than in his arms and Kai felt the same way.

***

Two months had now passed. The time spent alone together was bliss, that they forgot that they were locked away from the real world. Later that evening, Y/N and Kai had another re-run of the show Brooklyn 99. It wasn’t until the light shone through the window that they both got up to see the sun rise.

The sun started rising over the horizon as Y/N and Kai were sat outside in the front yard entwined together. Y/N felt comfortable and safe with Kai and loved that they had gotten even closer over this time trapped in the prison world. She didn’t want their time alone together to end.

They weren’t sure if their eyes were playing tricks on them, but they swore they could see Bonnie in the distance making her way towards them. Y/N raised her eyebrows as she came into close proximity. Kai tensed in Y/N’s arms.

“Bonnie?” Y/N yelled out, not close enough to keep her voice down. Bonnie waved towards them with a sheepish smile. When she approached, she avoided her gaze with the heretic as she went in for a hug with Y/N. 

“I’m here to get you out” Y/N looked at Kai and gulped. “I’m not leaving without Kai and that’s not negotiable” Y/N was adamant. Bonnie nodded “I expected as much” and took Y/N’s hand in hers. She hesitated before grabbing Kai’s hand too. Before they knew it, all three were suddenly back outside the Salvatore Boarding House.

Among hearing the commotion outside, Damon walked out. He sighed in relief upon seeing Y/N safe and sound. As his eyes landed on Kai, he gave Bonnie a look. “You let him out too?” but there was no hostility behind his words. He was more exasperated than angry.

Y/N had to make things clear so everyone would know where they stood. “I’m in love with Kai and you’ve all got to accept that. I see the good in him, and over the last couple of months I’ve seen a side of him that you all would’ve dreamed of witnessing beforehand. If any of you try to hurt Kai or worse, I’ll never forgive you”. Bonnie gave her a quizzical look whilst Damon looked confused, however they agreed.

“I miss being in the prison world alone with Kai already” Y/N said absentmindedly. “Being trapped in the prison world was the best thing that could have happened for us” Y/N smiled sheepishly, adoringly looking Kai in the eyes before he pulled Y/N in for a loving kiss.

[parisian-nicole]

Amends Pt 5 (Bamon Fic)

Previous Chapter: https://parisian-nicole.tumblr.com/post/615052961421410304/amends-pt-4-bamon-fic

****

"What are you doing Damon?" Stefan greeted his older brother from the threshold of the front door as Damon approached. Damon inwardly groaned while his face held an emotionless expression.

"Entering my home," Damon answered nonchalantly as he tried to cross the threshold, only to be stopped by Stefan's hand pressed on his chest. He looked down at the hand and then up at his sibling. He didn't resist when Stefan shoved him back out the door, walked out after him, and shut the door behind them.

"You know what I'm talking about. How could you bite Bonnie?" He asked as he folded his arms across his chest and cast a hard glare at Damon, who looked a little surprised that Stefan knew.

"Were you spying on us?"

"No, but when Bonnie came in, I smelled you all over her, and I smelled her blood, which had also slightly stained the collar of her shirt. Then I noticed how dilated her eyes were," Stefan replied. "I thought you said you were going to do things differently this time around. Taking advantage of a young girl is something 'old' you used to do."

"I didn't take advantage of anyone," Damon nearly growled out as he rolled his eyes at his brother. "Bonnie 'asked' me to bite her."

"Why would she ask you to bite her?" Stefan questioned mainly to himself as he pondered on it.

"Go ask her," Damon spat out. "I am really sick of constantly having to defend and repeat myself, but I'll say it once more for you little brother. I would never hurt Bonnie. I'd rather die than hurt her."

"I know you wouldn't Damon, I never doubted that," Stefan said. "My concern is that you're using your knowledge of her future to manipulate her. What do you hope to accomplish, Damon? What are your intentions with Bonnie?"

"Currently, my intentions are to keep her alive and safe by any means necessary."

"And once that's done, what then?"

"That's a very broad question, little brother, be more specific," Damon said around a sigh. He was growing annoyed with this interaction and interruption to his bedtime plans with Bonnie.

"Are you trying to have a romantic relationship with Bonnie?"

"Right now, I am just trying to become her friend by showing her the man that I became as opposed to the man she knows," He stated as Stefan watched him silently waiting to hear the answer to his question. "And if that develops into something romantic between us, I would welcome it with open arms," He added and this time Stefan nodded his understandings.

"So, you're still in love with Bonnie?" Stefan made the statement.

"Yes … Wait …" Damon frowned up at his brother's question, genuinely surprised he had been aware.

"Yes, Damon, I noticed it even way back then in that other life. When you returned from Kai's prison world without Bonnie it became very clear to me from the way the loss of her affected you," Stefan cut in and answered Damon's uncompleted question. "I think even Elena saw it. But once Bonnie was back home you focused back onto Elena, and I figured that you finally matured and realized you couldn't have them both and just chose a life with Elena."

"And if I could turn back the hands of time," Damon said lowly as he stared off a moment and then he snapped his eyes back to his little brother as a wide smile spread across his face. "Oh wait, the hands of time have been turned back by Kai. Now, I can make the right choice."

"And life with Elena wasn't right?" Stefan countered as his brow bunched a bit with concern.

"It just wasn't what I had envisioned."

"No, it never really is, and the same could be said about any kind of life you have envisioned with Bonnie too, Damon."

"Except I also shared a life with Bonnie and believe me it was a great life," Damon offered. "She showed me how wonderful things could have been. And I can't tell you how many times I wanted to just run away with Bonnie, how many times I had asked her…"

"Wait, you and Bonnie were having an affair. You two were cheating on me?" It had been Elena's disapproving voice that posed the question, and the Salvatore brothers looked over to the now opened door where she stood eavesdropping. Stefan scowled up a bit at her but her behavior just pulled a laugh from Damon. He honestly hadn't minded the intrusion as it would allow him to escape from Stefan and get to Bonnie, which was what he had wanted, and it also afforded him a chance to make things clearer for Elena.

"No, Elena, Bonnie was always a true friend to you, and she would never do something like that. It's not in her nature. As for me, 'I' didn't cheat, get pregnant, and then pass another man's child off as mine," Damon spoke calmly with his demeanor and voice showing no malice. Though his eyes spoke of his anger and hurt. Both Elena and Stefan stared at him in shock and disbelief. "And yeah, I know that you, right now, technically never did it, and now you never will, not to me at least," He tossed on. "But I still can't help hating you a little bit for it. I still loved and raised our daughter Stephanie like my own, and she never knew I wasn't her father. I never even told you that I knew the truth and we stayed married until your death. But that's all water under the bridge as they say. Now, if you two will excuse me I am going to head upstairs to do some reading before bed," Damon then moved back to the door and walked past Elena without a glance as he entered and headed to their library.

"No, that can't be true. I can't believe I did something like that," Elena spoke again as she hugged herself, shook her head in denial, and seemed to be on the verge of tears.

"As Damon said, you haven't done it yet and now you never have to," Stefan said and then he too walked off and left a confused young woman to stare after him longingly. She had recently been told that once upon a time she had two great loves in the Salvatore brothers, but she now realized that she would likely never get to experience it. This made her feel bereaved and bitter about it.

A short time later

He had entered through their adjoining door. He hadn't intended to enter unnoticed but Bonnie was seated on the window seat strumming on a guitar, he had never known she owned or could play as expertly as she was. She was completely unaware of his presence and when her beautifully melodic voice touched his ears Damon was transfixed where he was, completely enthralled.

"Childhood living is easy to do

The things you wanted I bought them for you

Graceless lady you know who I am

You know I can't let you slide through my hands

Wild horses couldn't drag me away,

Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away

I watched you suffer a dull aching pain

Now you've decided to show me the same

No sweeping exit or offstage lines

Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind

Wild horses couldn't drag me away

Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away."

Bonnie sat staring up at the full moon hanging high in the sky as she strummed the guitar strings, still oblivious to her audience as she continued to sing.

"I know I've dreamed you a sin and a lie

I have my freedom but I don't have much time

Faith has been broken tears must be cried

Let's do some living after we die

Wild horses couldn't drag me away

Wild, wild horses we'll ride them someday

Wild horses couldn't drag me away

Wild, wild horses we'll ride them someday."

"That was fucking amazing Bon-Bon," Damon's voice scared her as she leaped up and nearly dropped her guitar. "I mean, seriously, you should be recording albums and sharing your voice with the world. Why have you never told me you could sing like 'that'?"

"Because we're not BFFs yet, remember?" She spoke around a kind smile as she coyly ducked her head and averted her eyes to his accolades. "And since you seem so surprised, I take it I never shared it with you even after we were BFFs. Truthfully, singing is a 'just for me' hobby I have. I've never even performed for Grams."

"Then I am truly honored," Damon said sincerely as he placed a hand over his heart and gave her a bow. "And now that I know I will be expecting more. You truly sing like an angel, Bonnie."

"Thank you," She replied as she blushed and then quickly changed the subject before, he asked for an encore. "So, you've really come to tuck me in and read me a story I see," She nodded towards the book he held.

"I am a man of my word, and I see you're all ready for bed," He said as he took in her attire, a lace strapped cotton gown that fell just above her knees. Damon couldn't help the way his eyes raked appreciatively over her frame, nor could Bonnie stop the deep blush it pulled to her cheeks. "Now hop into bed and I will read until you drift off," He said and she settled her guitar on the window seat, moved to the bed, and hurriedly scurried under the covers. Damon moved to the chair in the corner, but before he could settle into the seat Bonnie called to him.

"You know, this bed is plenty big, we could share it and not even touch one another," She stammered nervously. "If…if you want to. I…I mean, instead of sitting uncomfortably in a chair all night," Damon watched her intensely with his head slightly tilted as if it helped him to better gauge her true thoughts and feelings. After a few seconds, he gave a curt nod and then moved to the bed. Bonnie scooted further to one side to ensure there was a comfortable distance between them on the oversized bed. Once they both were settled in, he began reading. It wasn't long before Bonnie had drifted off to sleep, and he had closed his eyes to rest them for a moment.

He snapped his eyes open when he felt a sudden weight across his chest and warmth against his body. His eyes scanned his surroundings briefly before they settled down upon the serene face of Bonnie, who lay with her head nestled upon his chest. He figured by her position and by the moonlight now shining through the window that they had been sleeping for a while. He shifted a little with the intent to disentangle from Bonnie and go to his own bed, but it became futile when he realized she had a firm hold on him which tightened whenever he moved. He smiled broadly as he chuckled and placed a gentle kiss against her forehead.

"Bonnie," He whispered to her. He wanted to rouse her enough to make her shift and release him but not awaken her fully. She frowned and grumbled slightly but then rubbed her nose into the nook of his neck and quieted once more. "Bon-Bon," He called to her again around a kiss. "I should probably go to my own bed now," He continued to whisper.

"Comfortable … warm … smell good," Was all she mumbled out which invoked another chuckle from Damon.

"Yes, all very true," He teased having sensed she was more awake and would hear him, and she giggled in reply.

"God you are such a conceited asshole," Bonnie whispered out as she moved her head back a little, slowly opened her eyes, and gazed up at him.

"Also, true and just a part of my overall charm," Damon replied with a wink and smirk. They both grew silent as their eyes scanned the other's face. Damon was struck by just how flawless and gorgeous Bonnie was at such close inspection. And then his body became fully awake to the fact that hers was so close and he became suddenly aroused. "I think I should probably leave," Damon spoke again but made no movement.

"Yeah, I think you should too," She concurred through a sigh but still didn't move to release him. "But then I remembered the part about you being comfortable and warm and … Oh," She squeaked out as her eyes enlarged at feeling the bulge in his crotch. She gulped down a sudden lump in her throat as she stilled the leg that she had innocently brushed across his lap. "I'm sorry," She spoke even lower than the whispering she had been doing, and Damon could almost smell her embarrassment along with a pleasing womanly scent that spoke to her arousal. When she tried to remove her leg and shift from him, he quickly yet gently captured the bare leg across his lap and held it still. Bonnie locked her questioning eyes up to his and she was greeted with black eyes that had just a hint of their normal blue hue around the edge of the pupil.

Bonnie knew she should have pushed him away, used her magic to fend him off, but she didn't. She didn't feel threatened by Damon's touch or being so close to him. In this moment, her urge wasn't to recoil from him, it was to grip at him and pull him closer. It was a feeling so overwhelming that she trembled a little from the need. Damon wasn't conflicted at all about what was happening between them. He had already decided he was going to grab hold of any opportunity that presented itself that would get him closer to Bonnie. He wanted her and he wasn't afraid to let her know how much.

"If you want me to leave just say so," He offered her a means of escape.

"I think you should," She replied.

"Yes, we both recognize that I 'should', but do you 'want' me to?" He asked her as he traced his fingers against the back of her thigh and pulled a shaky gasp from her lips. After a second's pause, she shook her head no. "And what do you want me to do?" Her eyes became panic-stricken to the ideas that popped into her head and by the fears that accompanied them. "I already told you, I won't do anything that you don't want me to do, Bon-Bon," He assured and she felt some mild relief.

"Do you…" She held the question for a moment before she decided to be brave and continue. "Do you want to have sex with me, Damon? Is that what this is about?"

"No," He replied point blank and then grew silent for a second before he continued. "I didn't come here with the intention to seduce and bed you. And I honestly have no desire to have sex with you," He added and Bonnie quickly dropped her eyes from his and nodded her head as she tried to extract herself from him, but Damon only tightened his grip on her leg. "To me, sex is too quick and really requires no feelings or connection. It's just an act," He started to explain and was able to recapture her attention. "Just two body seeking its own gratification. I could have that with anyone, I have had that with many. And I don't want that anymore and definitely never with you."

"Right, I heard you the first time," Bonnie grumbled out offended and embarrassed as she once more tried to pull away. Damon smiled a little knowing she was misunderstanding him.

"You, little bird, are too delicate and too special for just sex," He spat out in contempt as if the idea of it was so beneath her. She stilled and locked her eyes back onto his. "You must be handled with care and worshipped. And any man blessed to have you would never be foolish enough to rush through it. So, no I don't want to have sex with you Bonnie, but I would give anything to make love to you, slow and deep," He added with a lowered tone as he moved his face closer, and surprise-filled Bonnie's face at hearing this. "Some would tell you they're the same thing, sex, and lovemaking, but I promise you they are not. And I would be happy to show you the difference someday if you ever wanted me to."

"Jesus," Bonnie hissed out under her breath as a jolt of wantonness began to fill her. Her eyes rolled closed for a second before she pushed back the feelings filling her, opened her eyes once more, and refocused back onto Damon. He basked in the effect he could see he was having on her. "No, I don't think I am ready for anything sexual yet. I've never even gone on a real date with a boy before," Bonnie confessed. "And this is insane, you do know that, right? I mean, like seriously Looney Toons. You're my public enemy number one, my nemesis. The antagonist to everything I do and everything I stand for. You're like Darth Vader and I'm Luke Skywalker," She continued and pull a laugh from Damon. "I'm being serious, Damon," She chastised even as she too giggled along with him. "This, what we're doing right now, and what we're thinking about doing, it's not supposed to be happening. We're supposed to hate each other and two days ago we really did hate each other.

"Well, it was more like 60 years ago from my point-of-view," He threw in as he lifted his hand from her thigh, reached up, and carefully brushed her hair from her face. He then traced his finger over the bridge of her nose down to her lush lips. Which he had to fight himself not to kiss at that moment.

"Yeah, and that's quite the conundrum, isn't it? You see me as your best friend and someone you love. I see you as an evil bloodsucking fiend, who I can't trust."

"Is that how you still see me, really?" Damon questioned and though his face gave nothing away, her words still stung him.

"No," Bonnie replied as she shook her head slightly. She knew her words had hurt him and something inside her needed to placate him. "Not really, and that confuses me and it really terrifies me too," She confessed and he felt his heart lurch at now seeing what he was doing to her. "There's this voice inside of my head screaming at me right now, saying that we should not be in bed together, not like this, and that I shouldn't trust you." She said even as she remained still pressed against him. "It's screaming because it's not as loud as it was yesterday. Today I can barely hear that voice. I've always heard it so loud and clear since I was a little girl. I've always trusted it and it has saved my life. And in just a couple of days you, of all people, have turned down the volume of that voice, and I can't believe I just told you all of that," She tacked on as she frowned up a little as her mind began to reel. "Damon, this isn't right."

"But It feels right, and I think you feel it too. And that's why that voice isn't as loud as before," Damon replied.

"No, I mean this all feels … it feels too easy. I don't know why I would let you get this close, and tell you all that. And you, before you've been more subtle with your feelings toward me. Now, you're being sort of on the nose with it. It just doesn't feel like it's…" Her words stalled as her eyes widened a little. "Oh no," Her frightened gaze and words push away the haziness Damon had been feeling and he focused on her distress.

"What is it, what's wrong?" He questioned as he sat up fully and allowed her to do the same.

"I don't think this is real," Bonnie answered as she quickly hopped from the bed and moved to the door that adjoined their bedrooms. She groaned a little when she found that the doorknob wasn't tangible, but was plastered like it was painted onto the door.

"What is it?" Damon asked as he watched her closely.

"I'm sorry Damon," Bonnie spoke as she turned back to face him as he now moved from the bed to stand closer to her. She hugged herself defensively as she nibbled at the bottom of her lip. "I'm dreaming and I've accidentally brought you into my dreams," She finally stated.

"Wait, you think we're in your dream?" He said in a disbelieving tone while he eyed the familiar surroundings. Then one second, they were standing in the darkened bedroom and the near second they were standing in what looked to be an endless field of poppies on a sunny day.

"I know we are because I can control it," She answered as Damon twirled in his spot trying to take in everything. "Just give me a minute and I should be able to pull us both out," She said as she took a deep breath and began to close her eyes.

"Wait, where are we right now. In the real world, I mean?" Damon stopped her as he gently grasped her wrist. Bonnie returned her gaze back onto his.

"Revelare," She spoke out a spell and a mirror appeared before them suspended in the air, and in the mirror, they saw themselves, both sound asleep in their own beds. "Looks like we're safe and sound asleep."

"So, whatever we do here in your dreams it doesn't affect our bodies out there?"

"No, our bodies kind of shut down as our minds drift into a kind of a catatonic state," Bonnie replied. "Besides, breathing and our hearts beating we don't move, can't move."

"But this all looks, smells, sounds, and feels very real," He said as he reached down and plucked one of the poppies. He then turned to Bonnie and tucked it into her hair.

"It is, we still have all of our basic senses here. The best way to think about it is, it's like our minds have been transported to a different place. You're still you and I am still me, but here in dreamland, we're more uninhibited. We can think, act, react more freely then we might when we're awake in the real world. It's more laid back and carefree here."

"So, we can do whatever we want here without any real repercussions when we go back to the real world."

"Not exactly, I mean, it wouldn't affect anyone else, but 'we' could be affected, because we'll remember everything we do here in the dream once we're back in the real world," Bonnie explained.

"Good, because I want you to remember this," Damon said right before he tugged her against him and captured her mouth in a deep, sensual, toe-curling kiss. When he released her Bonnie was sure had he not been holding her close her legs would have given out. Her head suddenly became foggy as the desire she had been feeling toward him ever since he confessed, he would sacrifice everyone just for her, began to fill her once more. She suddenly became hot all over and her breaths came in pants.

"Damon," His name was spoken with such heady desire that it surprised them both; her because it had been her own voice that spoke, and him because her need was palpable to him. Damon took this as an invitation and flashed his fangs to her a split second before he latched them into her neck. He didn't hold back this time as he pulled her into a swift orgasm which he didn't allow her to relish before he had pulled another, more intense orgasm from her along with a scream of elation. "Ahhhhhhhhh!"

Bonnie bolted upright in the bed, screaming her pleasure at the top of her lungs, while she clutched at her neck and sought to grip the head that was no longer there. She snapped her eyes open to find herself alone in the large bed she had been given in the Salvatore home. As she tried to calm herself both of the adjoining doors to her bedroom opened. Sheila rushed to her granddaughter's bedside while Damon lingered at the threshold of his door, where he watched them. Hints of his vampiric guise still evident on his face as he huffed out breaths. He too was coming down from his own orgasm which he had experienced in their dream.

"Bonnie, are you okay?" Sheila asked in concern as she clutched both of Bonnie's arms in her hands. "Babygirl, what happened?"

"I'm okay, Grams," Bonnie finally spoke with labored breaths. "It was just…" Her eyes darted over to where a more composed Damon now leaned against his door jamb staring at her heatedly. "I had a nightmare," She finally lied as she averted her eyes down to the bedding in fear her Grams would know she was lying to her. Before the elder Bennett could probe further the main bedroom door burst open and Elena and Stefan rushed in.

"Bonnie, are you okay? We heard you screaming," Elena spoke in a panicked voice as she rushed over to her best friend. Stefan locked his eyes onto his brother as he stood just in the doorway. Damon simply sent him a shrug in reply to the question he saw in his little brother's eyes.

"Yes, I'm fine. I just had a nightmare is all," Bonnie repeated her lie. "I'm sorry I woke everyone up."

"It's nearly 7 o'clock, I was already up doing my morning meditation anyway," Sheila said as she placed a kiss upon her grandchild's forehead and then took a step from the bed. "I'll go start breakfast. How does scrabble eggs, bacon, pancakes, and freshly squeezed orange juice sound to everyone?" She asked as she moved past Stefan at the main door.

"Delicious, Sheila, and I'll help you," Stefan offered as he followed her out of the main bedroom door.

"Are you sure you're, all right?" Elena asked once more as she sat on the bed next to Bonnie. She reached up and stroked her fingers through Bonnie's hair to tuck it behind her ear. "What's this?" Elena questioned as she pulled her hand back which now held a bright red poppy flower. Bonnie instantly snapped her eyes to where Damon lounged in his doorway. She could see his eyes darken with lust as he stared back. "How did you get a flower in your hair?" Elena continued her probing.

"I put it there last night," Damon was the one to answer. "I picked it during our walk in the garden just for Bonnie," He added to the lie and got the reaction he had wanted. Elena bowed her head a bit and handed the bloom back to Bonnie, who took it in hand.

"Well, I am going to go get dressed and then head down to breakfast," She then stood from the bed. "I'll see you down there?" Bonnie nodded.

"Thank you for checking on me Elena," Bonnie spoke out to her friend who she could tell was sad though she wasn't sure why, but had her suspicions. Elena tossed her a nod and a smile and then without another word or glance back she exited the bedroom and closed the door behind her. Bonnie threw back the covers and climbed from the bed. She purposely avoided Damon's gaze as she moved to the bureau and pulled clothes from its drawer. "I'm sorry I brought you into my dreams last night, Damon," She spoke with her head bowed a bit while she busied herself with picking her clothes and avoiding looking directly at him.

"Well, I'm not sorry, and you can invite me into your dreams whenever you like, Bon-Bon," Damon replied and he was so close to her that she did look up at him in surprise. He stood right beside her now, towering over her. "How did this happen?" He posed the question as he placed the poppy flower, he had picked up from the bed back into her hair and then turned her slightly until she was staring at herself in the large mirror that was attached to the bureau.

"I don't know," She replied as she frowned up a little contemplating it while watching Damon's hand gently stroke her hair around where the flower rested. "That's never happened before and it shouldn't be possible, to bring something from my dreams out into the real world. I'll have to research it, maybe check the Grimoire."

"Why not just ask Sheila about it?" Damon asked as he trailed his hand down from Bonnie's hair onto her neck.

"Because she'll want to know about the dream," Bonnie answered as she captured his eyes in the mirror. She could feel herself become aroused by his fingers which were brushing across her clavicle bone. "Stop that," She spoke in a lower voice in a tone that told Damon she wanted him to do anything else except stop, but still he removed his hands from her body. "What happened, what we did … Damon, it was just a dream-"

"No, it was a revelation Bonnie and you know it … you felt it just like I did," He cut her off as he took a step closer into her space and she now had to crane her neck to look up at him. "You don't have to be afraid of it. It doesn't ever have to happen again," He continued and Bonnie's heart mourned at the thought of never sharing such pleasures with Damon. "Unless you want it to. You have all the control, you know? All of it, so we can go as fast or as slow as you want. Or we can stop it all now before it gets any deeper."

"You mean before our feelings start to get involved?" She asked and he shook his head.

"No, my feelings are involved because I already love you," He confessed freely and Bonnie didn't act surprised because the way this Damon had acted and the way he spoke to her, told her how he felt. "But I will not try to force you to reciprocate. While you and I do have a very loving and respectful relationship in your future, it was never a sexual one. Yes, there were moments…" He looked off at the nearby wall as if he were lost in that memory and then refocused back down onto her. "But you would never indulge them, and I would never push you to."

"Because of Elena," Bonnie spoke this as a statement, not as a question.

"I didn't push because of my care and respect for 'you'. But in your case, yes, it was for Elena's sake. In every friendship I've ever seen you have 'you' were always the better friend. Always, giving regard to the other person even when they didn't give you the same regard."

"Even with you?" She asked curiously.

"Especially with me," He answered honestly as he chuckled. "You know how I am now, I mean, the Damon of this time. I only get worse in the coming years. First, I became consumed with having Elena, and then when I get her, I became consumed with keeping her. Even if it meant sacrificing her witchy best friend to any big bad that came along," Damon became nervous at the emotionless look now on Bonnie's face. He had decided he would be open and honest with her but now he feared he had divulged too much.

"That sounds like a scary but amazing kind of love," She said as a slight feeling of jealousy filled her.

"No," He shook his head to that idea. "It wasn't really. I was more obsessed than I was in love," He countered. "And you helped me to realize that fact. I just wish I had realized it sooner," Damon let his thoughts wander for a second before he shook his head and refocused back onto Bonnie. "I guess none of that matters now."

"Because now you plan to do it all differently, right?" Bonnie offered as she used his earlier words and he nodded in agreement. "And what does that mean exactly? I mean … What are your plans for me, Damon?"

"You tell me," Damon countered as he stepped away from her and back to his bedroom door. She turned to stare after him, her confusion evident on her face. "From now on I won't say or do anything that will make you feel confused or scared about our relationship. As much as it pains me to say it, maybe Stefan has it right. Maybe I have been using my knowledge of our future together to manipulate you. But no more. I'm giving all the cards to you, Bon-Bon. So, you have to tell me how our relationship will go, or if you even want a relationship of any kind with me. If you don't want me around, just say the word and I'll leave Mystic Falls, once we've eliminated this Kai threat. You think about it and just let me know what you decide," With that said he exited her bedroom through their adjoining door.

Bonnie stood there a few moments staring at the closed door. She knew Damon was trying to do the right thing by letting her control their situation. But the thought of it just caused her more fear and confusion. She felt that keeping Damon at arm's length would be the easiest choice for the people she loved, but there was something in her heart that told her if she did it would be a great loss for her.

****

Song: Wild Horse By The Rolling Stones (I was thinking of 'The Sundays' version)

Read entire fic here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13488758/1/Amends

[eclecticstarlightconnoisseur]

Edinburgh To Boston - Chapter 11 - Redux

Good evening all, Here is the next chapter of Edinburgh To Boston. I hope you all enjoy it. We met some old friends and a person oft-spoken of but never seen.

Chapter 12 is nearly done.  It is in the revision stage then off to my lovely beta @curlsgetdemgurls whom without her, this would not exist. Many, many thanks Emma for everything.

As always, I look forward to your thoughts, comments, and respectful criticism.

Without further delay, I give you...

Edinburgh To Boston

Chapter 11

Redux

“Rabbie, ye wee gomeral! Dinna stick yer brother’s head in the snow, aye. He canna breathe in there.” 

Rabbie MacLennan was busy shoving his brother Davey’s head deeper into a snowbank. At his grandmother’s reprimand, he let go and ran off cackling to himself.

There must be something wrong with that boy, she thought. She hoped she wouldn’t see him on one of those Most Wanted Shows when he grew up.

Davey freed himself from his frozen entombment and found himself covered head to toe in snow looking rather like a scrawny snowman. Shaking himself like a dog, he removed much of the fine flakes sticking to his hat, hair, face, and clothes. 

“Wait for me,” the lad called racing after his brother to see what other devilry they could stir up.

Maizie gave a long-suffering look toward her husband that said: Do something.

Harry, in the language of the long-married, returned the look, asking: Like what?

She glared back at him, I dinna ken. They’re your grandsons, do something. 

Jamie and Claire observed the mayhem headed their way. They turned and looked at each other smiling.

“Lass, it’s Harry and Maizie. I dinna think we would ever see them again.”

Jamie raised his arm waving it furiously loudly calling out, “mo charaid.”

“Come along a nighean,” he said laughing and pulled her along. He moved toward the elderly couple with a decided determination.

Harry looked up recognizing their acquaintances from the plane, took off his cap and began waving it in his own brand of frenetic gesticulations calling out, “Hallo.”  

“Ye see who it ‘tis, my love? ‘Tis the lad from the plane with his lass,” he said with a broad smile plastered across his face.

Smiling she began to wave as well. “So ‘tis. They look happy, do they no’?”

“Aye, they do.”

The men reached each other and began the time-honored male ritual greeting composed of handshakes, hugging, and back pounding.

Observing this male disposition, it occurred to Claire that this habit of pummeling each other in a form of welcome might be the reason that men were impervious to superficial pain.

The ladies, however, greeted each other more genteelly, clasping each other’s hands, kissing a cheek, and exchanging pleasantries. 

Of course, it was just like men to wander off in pursuit of their own conversations while leaving the women to mind the store. This entailed clearing the snow off a bench for them to sit and keep a watchful eye on the two rapscallions. Bloody men.

“How goes it, lad? Ye look happy and I might add so does the lass.” Harry cast a glance back toward Claire.

If it were possible, Jamie’s cold-reddened cheeks would have turned scarlet.

“We, ah, talked, and found the truth between us. She, um, weel, she loves me as I do her. So, we are together,” he smiled so brightly it would have rivaled the sun. “I still dinna ken how ye were so certain about such things.”

“Laddie, it is as plain as the nose on yer face.  A blind man could see that ye love each other and belong together. ‘Twas not hard at all.  All ye two needed was a push in the right direction.”

Harry turned his eyes to gaze intently upon Jamie. His expression hardening like a stern schoolmaster about to chastise an errant student.

“Remember lad, she is a braw lassie, strong, capable, independent. Dinna underestimate her. But, she can be very fragile, delicate, and her heart, once given, can be easily broken. Take care of her, love her rightly and if ye do sae she will be yers forever.”

“Aye, sir I will. Ye can trust me.”

A snowball whizzed by Harry’s hat, missing it by a fraction of an inch. He looked up and saw his grandson Rabbie hanging upside down, monkey-like from a tree. His younger brother stood below with a stockpile of frozen missiles.

“Oi, ye wee scoundrels, what are ye about then?”  Harry stormed toward the tree where the lads were. Jamie keeping pace brought up the rear as reinforcement.

Davey hopped up and down trying to get his brother’s attention wanting him to pull him up into the tree and away from his Grandda’s grasp. 

“Jump Davey, jump.” 

Rabbie extended his hand as far as he could and with one final long stretch, he just managed to grasp his brother’s hand. With a mighty pull, he brought Davey up and out of reach of his grandsire.  The lads sat swinging their legs back and forth from their high perch enjoying the view of their frustrated and angry grandfather below.

“Do ye want them down?”

Harry snorted, “I do.”

“Now listen here, lads.  Either ye come down or I come up. And ye willna like it if I do.”

“Yer auld. Ye canna climb up trees,” said Rabbie with a smirk on his face.

“Aye, I can. I climb trees, mountains, and rock walls.”

“Are ye Spideyman then?” asked wee Davey with a hopeful look on his face.

“Nay, but I ken him.”

“Ye do???!!!” The little boy’s eyes widened becoming positively goggle-eyed. 

“Aye, he came to the hospital where I work to visit with the sick bairns. He told me all his secrets for climbing. If ye come down, I’ll tell ye.”

Davey looked awestruck.  Rabbie looked at Jamie with skepticism.

“I dinna believe ye,” he said eyes narrowed to slits and glared.

“I have pictures of Spider-Man and me. He taught me some of his spidey moves.  I have a video too if ye want to see it.”

Davey was beside himself with excitement. Rabbie, however, more of a doubting Thomas required proof. The two laddies were busy trying to scramble down the tree. Rabbie older and bigger pushed his way forward wanting to be first. 

Davey had another idea.  He hung down from the branch by his fingertips, “Catch me, Grandda,” and let go dropping five feet straight down. 

Harry ran forward hoping he would be in time to catch the rascal and not drop him. Jamie got there before Harry, opened his arms and caught the boy in the nick of time, saving him from serious injury. 

“Lad, do ye no’ ken that ye weigh as much as a good draft horse when ye fall from that height? Ye nearly broke my back.”

The wean laughed, “Can I see the pictures now, please?”

He set the child down, pulled out his phone and scrolled through the pictures. The lads were enamored by them and began acting out the poses they saw.

Jamie Fraser had convinced a friend to dress up as Spider-Man and come to entertain the children. He posed, signed autographs, took pictures, and gave out little gifts. At the end of the wee party, a spectacular Spider-Man cake was rolled out and happily and messily consumed by all.

Each year Dr. Fraser planned a different event for the children.  Wherever he worked or trained he would manage to beg or borrow, cajole or arm-twist enough money to plan a wee party for the weans. All done in memory of his brother Willie. The children broke his heart.  For some, the hospital was their home, for others they would never leave it.  Some of the lucky ones would get well enough to live their lives but not without experiencing more than any child should have to.

Claire and Maizie sat on the bench talking of this and that while keeping a watchful eye on their men.

“Are ye happy then, lass?”

Claire looked up first to Jamie then to Maizie. 

“Yes, very happy.  Happier than I have been in a long time. Probably happier than I have ever been in my whole life.”

“Aye, I thought so. I can see it in the way ye look at him. And in the way he looks at ye,” she chuckled softly.

“Yer man, he is a Highlander, is he no’?”

“Yes, why do you ask?”

“Weel, they are proud men, strong of body and spirit, honorable to be sure, disciplined, loyal, courageous, patient and honest. Can ye handle a man like that lass? He can and will be a handful at times.” She looked at Claire searching her face for the truth. “Oh, and did I mention stubborn? Once they have made up their minds, there is no turning them back.”

“How do you know all this?”

“My man is a Highlander too. It has been a bonnie life with him, never dull,” she chuckled. “I wouldna change him or the life I had with him for anything. He has been a challenge at times, but I set him straight,” Maizie said with a wink.

“Oh, and one more thing lass, if ye dinna kent it yet. They have hearty appetites in bed!”

Claire opened her mouth to say something, thought better of it and shut it. She felt the heat of her embarrassment rising up her face.

“I see ye ken what I say is true,” she laughed heartily. 

“Well I...ah, well, mmm, damn.” Claire flushed a lovely shade of pink.

“Enjoy his love for ye lass. ‘Tis a blessing. I still do,” she said with a lascivious smile.

She looked up at the sky, seeing that the sun had begun to lower, checked the time on her watch. 

“‘Tis late. I need to get my lads home, dry and fed.”

“Harry! Harry! Get the lads, ‘tis time we were going home.”

The boys and the men’s heads snapped up at the words going home.  

“A leannan,” he said in his most silky voice, “the lads are having such a good time. Might we be able to stay a little longer?”  All four members of the male contingent shook their heads in unanimous agreement to this request.

“Ye can have ten more minutes, then we must leave. ‘Twill be getting dark soon,” Maizie said with a shiver.

Claire had been watching Jaime play with the boys, roughhousing, laughing, throwing snowballs at each other, helping to build a snowman, and generally acting like one of the boys. Her hands went reflexively to her belly. He was meant to be a father, she thought. She worried if she couldn’t give that gift to him would he hate her? Worse yet, would he leave her?

“Dinna fash, lass. Yer time will come too,” she observed Claire’s hands protectively on her abdomen.

 “I wasn’t able to before with, with my ex-husband.”

“If he’s yer ex, then perhaps it was for the best. Looking at yer lad there, I think things will be different this time.”

“I hope you’re right,” she said with a hopeful look on her face.

Looking toward the men hard at work making the most of the last few minutes of playtime, Maizie called out, “Come along lads, ‘tis time for our suppers.” 

The male heads rose up at the mention of food.

They bid farewell to each other, repeating the ceremonial handshakes, hugs, and backslaps. The boys were counseled to listen to their Mam, Da, Grannie, and Grandda, eat their vegetables as Jamie would be seeing Spider-man again when he got back to Scotland. Rabbie and Davey nodded their heads solemnly and promised to be on their best behavior and (Blah!) to eat their veggies too. 

The women embraced, Claire, thanking Maizie for all her advice. She kissed her cheek softly and bid her goodbye.

“Come along Spider-Man, let’s get you back to the hotel and out of those wet clothes, shall we hmm?”

“Will ye help me out of my wet clothes then, mo ghràdh? I’m so cold and wet that I think my cock will snap off.”

“That my dear would be a catastrophe,” Claire said with a smirk.

Jamie began to speak, instead, he wrinkled his nose, squeezed his eyes together, and let out a volley of sneezes. He began to sniffle. 

“Hmm, things seem more serious than I thought. Let’s get you back to the hotel and warm you up.”

“Aye, sounds like a good idea.  Will ye warm me then, Claire?” There was a twinkle in his eyes as Jamie waggled his eyebrows at her.

“Men!” she snickered.

**********

They lay nestled together in the twilight of sleep, neither fully awake nor fully asleep. Warm. Complete. Filled with love. His arms enclosed her.  One hand cupping her breast while the other drew around her waist bringing her closer. A finger idly traced the slope of her breast coming to rest on a nipple. Stroking it lightly, it came alive under his touch hardening, rounding, wanting. Her arse settled fully in his groin wanting to eliminate any space between them.

“Does it ever stop, the wanting you? Even when I've just left ye. I want you so much my chest feels tight and my fingers ache with wanting to touch ye again.” 

She wiggled closer feeling the effects of her movements against him. 

“I want you too, always,” she mumbled sleepily.

His lips pressed soft tender kisses to her neck and felt her quiver.

He turned her onto her back raining a succession of heated kisses along her chin, chest, down the hollow between her breasts.

“Mo nighean donn, I hunger for ye.”

He blazed passionate kisses down her body paying homage to her.

Reaching her navel, a distant grumbling sounded from within the depths of her abdomen.

Jamie startled, “Sassenach, yer making wee noises, but no’ the ones I was hoping for.”

“Hmmm, seems I’m famished.”

“For food?”

“Mmhm. It’s been a long time since breakfast and we did have a busy afternoon.”

 “Aye, we did.” He rested his head on her belly. “Would ye like me to order room service or would ye like to go to the restaurant?” He hoped she’d pick room service.

“Well, I bought a new dress to wear for the last dinner at the conference. It would be a shame to not get to wear it.”

“Alright then, lass, the restaurant it is, but first I must have my dessert.”

********

Jamie sat on the end of the bed showered, shaved, and dressed in his charcoal grey suit, white shirt, and blue tie.  He hummed a rhythmless tune while his foot tapped in a futile attempt to keep time. Taking out his phone, he idly scrolled through the news, and his social media accounts watching the videos of dogs and cats engaged in ridiculous antics.

His eyes drifted back toward the closed bathroom door wondering what was taking Claire so long. To save time they had showered together. He had soaped her up, sliding his hands over her slippery body becoming captivated with each curve, and rounded area of her body.  Ah Dhia, that sweet fat arse of hers. He would never tire of fondling it. And what she did to him. Lathering him, she stroked him with her soft wee hand turning his legs to jello. Christ, the lass knew just how to… His pants were becoming uncomfortable. He stood up adjusted himself and walked to the bathroom door.

“Claire, are ye alright, lass?”

“I just need another few minutes, Jamie.”

She’s been in there for at least a half-hour. What takes women so long to get dressed?

He walked to the large window and watched the lights of Boston twinkle like fireflies on a warm summer’s night.

He heard the sound of the bathroom door open and Claire stepped out.

She was a vision in red. The dress was floor-length, long-sleeved with a high neckline. It hugged every curve of her body in a sensual way. Her hair was up with tiny tendrils draping around her face and neck. Her makeup lightly done except for the red lipstick accentuating the bow of her lips.

“Do you like it?”

He mouth opened and he gaped at her. His eyes sweeping over the sweet long lines of her body. 

Her walk was sultry. Her hips swayed. She exuded sexuality. Jamie placed his hands on the swell of her hips. He swallowed, “Yer beautiful, mo nighean donn.” She was mesmerizing. He could not wait to have her on his arm walking through the hotel and into the restaurant, the envy of every man there.

 She lightly pressed her mouth on him leaving a trace of her scarlet kiss on his lips. Seductively she traced her thumb across his mouth erasing the crimson mark. 

“Claire, I... ”

She gave him a knowing smile, “Let’s go then.”

She turned to reach for her clutch and then he saw it. The dress was backless. The gown laid her bare from the nape of her neck to just above her gluteal cleft exposing the dimples of Venus on her back. It hugged her buttocks emphasizing the roundness, the fullness of her.

“Sassenach! Yer no’ going downstairs like that are ye? Christ woman, I can see clear down yer arse.”

“No, you can’t. I had the sales girl take a video of me moving in all different directions in it and you can’t see anything. I checked. Want to see?” She said smugly.

He didn’t want to see and he didn’t want any other man to see either. The woman would be the death of him.

Deciding to use another tactic, he inquired, “Won’t ye be cold then?  Would ye want my jacket, lass?”

“Oh, you’re right, I forgot my wrap.” Walking over to the garment bag she took out a matching stole and wrapped it around herself.

“Better?” she asked batting her eyelashes at him.

“No! It only covers half of ye. Claire, ye canna go out like this,” he sputtered.

“Hmm, I see it’s doubled.” She gave it a little shake to open it completely. She swirled the silken fabric around her back like a matador twirling his red cape in front of a snorting raging bull.

“Is it better now?”

The edge grazed the top of her natal cleft.  Any movement she would make exposed her.

“Aye, ‘tis better,” he conceded, “but no’ by much.”  

Seeing that Claire would not give up on going to the restaurant wearing that, that dress Jamie conceded defeat. 

“My Lady, may I have the honor of escorting ye to dinner?” He extended his arm offering it to her to take.

“I would be honored, my Laird.” She reached out placing her dainty hand in the crook of his elbow feeling him draw her close to him.

He hoped they would make it through dinner without incident.

**************

Brian Fraser looked at his youngest son, drooping and moping about over some lass who would not give the lad the time of day. To make matters worse, Jamie had seen the girl kissing another boy in a remote part of the school library. “Laddie, if the lass is no’ interested in ye, then mayhap she is not the one for ye.  Pining away for her will no’ help.  Remember, be careful about what ye wish for, because ye may just get it. When ye find the right woman to love, ye will just ken it.”

Jamie Fraser got just what he had hoped for.  Male heads turned as they walked into the restaurant.  He was the envy of every man there and he didn’t like it. In truth, what he didn’t like was the way men looked at Claire. Some looked at her with a straightforward appreciation of her beauty while others leered at her with outright lust on their faces. It roused his jealousy and need to protect her. His eyes, a search beacon, swept across the sea of men on guard for any potential threat to her or her virtue. Being in love with Claire Beauchamp would not be easy. 

Jamie so deep in his need to be on guard that he missed the way Claire looked at him. She was fully aware of how the women looked at him. He was beautiful. That fiery mane with soft curls at the nape, ocean blue eyes that you could drown in, broad back, lean muscular body, and his hands. Ahh, his hands. Hands that held her and played her body like a fine instrument. Stroking it, coaxing it making it crescendo. He is perfect in every way.  And yet, he doesn’t know it.

The maî·tre d'hô·tel seated them in a secluded area of the restaurant thanks to the generous bribe, er um, tip Jamie gave the man.

Finally, he felt he could relax. They were seated in at a cozy table for two away from the general traffic of the hotel. 

The restaurant L’Orchidée was beautifully appointed. White and violet linens dressed the table while a napkin folded into the shape of a flower sat upon a gold charger awaiting their dinner choice. Candlelight created an intimate mood. Crystal goblets and wine glasses sparkled as they waited to be filled.

The Sommelier appeared suggesting wines to pair with their dinner. Jamie fluently speaking French ordered for them.

“Are ye happy, mo ghràdh? I mean that we are together? Do I make ye happy?” He reached over picked up her hand and began to rub his thumb across her knuckles.

“Happier than I have ever been in my whole life. Do I make you happy?” she asked shyly.

 He interlaced their fingers together, “Sae happy.” He hesitated for the briefest of moments then continued, “My heart has been yours since first we met. In truth, you hold my soul in your hands. I am yours, my Sassenach, body, and soul forever.”

The waiter came to serving their dinner. A lovely glazed salmon with a tomato romesco seasoned with garlic, almonds and spices, heirloom carrots and wild rice for Jamie. Claire chose roast chicken rich with a sauce of garlic, herbs, and butter, potato mille-feuille, summer squash with wild mushrooms.  The Sommelier appeared pouring their wine selections and bid them bon appétit.

They ate and drank, savoring their meal as much as each other’s company. They talked, laughed, touched, cast shy glances at each other, acting like lovers do.

Jamie’s other vice, besides whisky and Claire, was chocolate. A dessert of a triple chocolate mousse cake accompanied by a froth of whipped cream flavored with Frangelico and a scattering of crushed hazelnuts completed their meal. He insisted on feeding her. He cut off a piece of cake swirled it in the flavored cream offering it to her. She opened her mouth accepting the sweet morsel. Her mouth became coated with the intense taste of dark chocolate and fatty hazelnut whipped cream. An unctuous drop lingered on her lips. His finger swept across her mouth removing the offending particle.  Her pink tongue peeked out and licked the tidbit from his finger.

He brought her hand to his mouth pressed a tender kiss to the palm of her hand. His breath warm and moist on her skin making her quiver and her heart flutter. 

“Mo chridhe,” he whispered huskily. “I need ye, Claire. I need ye sae bad.” He licked his lips looking at her with darkened wanting eyes.

Jamie was intent on his love and did not see the man approach.

“Hello, Claire,” said a male voice with a cultured English accent.

Claire felt ice run up and down her spine. She knew that voice all too well.

She set her lips in a taut grim line. “Hello, Frank.”

[dcnativegal]

Day 55 of Pandemic, & I’m sick

Monday, May 4, 2020. Day 55 of the global pandemic (declared by World Health Organization on March 11th.) We as a planet hit 3,500,000 cases today, and 250,000 deaths. There are many more than that, but the planet doesn’t have enough tests.  But then, there was this announcement:

So obviously we’re in good hands. [Sarcasm alert.]

 The entire planet has slowed down, such that seismologists can detect the quieting of the earth: less shuddering of industry, cars, construction. Check out the drop in electricity usage:

Here’s a bit of perspective from Instagram:

The Lesbians of Paisley have been fertile ground for viruses. Valerie is nearly recovered from the viral pneumonia she was diagnosed with on March 26 at the emergency room at Lake District Hospital. She’d begun to feel feverish and achy, with violent coughing on March 15th, 2 days after what turned into my last day in my office at the hospital’s primary care clinic, and a day and a half after we’d dined with our friends Toni, Al, Bonnie and Bruce in person, sans masks. We began 100% isolation from the outside world the minute she felt sick. She recounted the ER adventure to a friend thusly: We drove in and they have organized a system that resembles getting on a [military] base after 9-11. We sat in the pickup at the checkpoint until a somebody in protective attire had taken my temp and saturation levels and asked a bunch of questions. Then they slapped a red sticker on the dash, told us to park in the ER lot and "don't get out of the pickup." Five hours later I had donated blood and been CAT scanned. I had two pneumonia shots that were current and two flu shots, also current. They checked the blood against 14 different virus strains and came up blank. The chest showed white lungs and my saturation levels were iffy. So they used one of the tests they had been sent, gave me antibiotics (just in case) and sent me home. Took me three days to sleep off all that fun.”

Me and Griffey the poodle waited in the pickup for her. At every sound, he got up from the passenger’s seat and looked at the ER entrance where she’d disappeared. No Valerie? Back to sleep. I walked him 3 times.      Hope, her RN daughter, told us that her flow through the ER was great practice in maintaining distance and perfect hygienic process through the CT scan, taking blood, even pushing her food on a tray to her. Lake Health District Hospital is prepared, and still, technically speaking, zero cases in the county.

I was so anxious about her health, her ability to breathe, that I gave up all thought of working from home. I listened to her breathing and coughing, brought her tea, and finally, asked her to write out her last will and testament. She did, and put it away. I figured, her kids are wonderful and won’t fight about stuff but, better for her to express her wishes, even if the paper wouldn’t be legally binding.

Apparently, I get the FrankenDodge (the pickup which has hit one too many deer and who’s grill is sewn together by wire). I’ll take it but I’d much rather have her.

We waited 10 days for the nasal swab results. While we waited, she got better. Never had that cytokine storm, nor that respiratory crash. Storms and crashes; pretty apt words for the medical horror of end stage COVID-19. Once her test came back negative, despite the warning of her PCP who says that nasal swabs miss between 30 and 47% of positive cases, I was able to go to town on the 10th of April, get some software downloaded onto the computer so I could work from home, and hit Safeway while wearing a mask. I also dropped off one of Valerie’s homemade masks to a friend, along with some toilet paper illustrated with Trump’s kissy face. The moment of levity was greatly appreciated.

I started feeling lousy six days after my jaunt to Lakeview (April 16th). Cough and release of gook high up in my chest. Headache. No fever. Who knows if I have COVID-19. We listen to a British gentleman, Dr. Campbell, daily, as he reviews what’s going on globally, and he interviewed a woman who had exactly my illness course, before she moved on to fever and gastrointestinal symptoms. She never got tested. Too much hassle. Which is so ridiculous, criminal really, and in the USA, a direct result of American hubris and incompetence. Fine. Anyone with any symptoms of any illness is isolated until we have a vaccine and treatment, is my prediction. I’m still feeling shitty, though better. Started taking antibiotics just in case and in the hopes of recovering SOMEDAY.

 My son Jonah and his girlfriend June escaped just in time the terrible plight of New York’s COVID19 deluge of infections and hospitalizations. They’ve been in Baltimore at June’s mother’s beautiful home. He spent his 26th birthday in the basement because they were still in quarantine. See adorable picture, below. Now they’re allowed upstairs, enjoying the quiet. Apparently, writing and directing music videos is not an essential service during a pandemic, but he’s writing pitches and living off the most recent lucrative gig with Kesha, thank goodness.

One of the most moving things that is happening in the USA during this time is the 7pm clapping ritual for medical workers and first responders in New York City, in all the boroughs:

There’s a firefighter in DC who’s going to hospitals and nursing homes to play the bagpipe.

That’s where my daughter Clara lives, in DC, but right now she’s staying with a friend in Laurel, MD, since her group house dynamics are stressful and had a symptomatic guest at last report. She’s working from home to make sure the Latinx school children are getting the tutoring they need now more than ever. We worry about her husband Jose and his country, Guatemala, since there are COVID-19 cases down there, and refugees seeking asylum are being dumped there, with and without the virus. Over 700 cases in Guatemala as of today. We hope he will get to the USA this year. However, Trump referred to it as a shithole country, which doesn’t bode well.

My sister and her husband are well, thankfully. They work fulltime from home in the company of Pepper the cat and Darcy the chocolate lab. Yuuki, 25, stays there, too, mostly in their room; they are out of work and applying for unemployment. Kohji, age 28, works from home in DC and makes more money as a web designer than I ever will after 34 years as a social worker, but who’s counting. (I remember well the admonition of a field instructor back in 1987: don’t go into social work for Power, Pay or Prestige.) His girlfriend is probably out of work; she works for a nonprofit that plants trees in DC. Probably not essential work right this very minute. Makoto, 23, is out of quarantine and looking for something to do; he’ll be a senior at the University of Delaware this fall. As far as I hear on Facebook and email, the rest of the folks with whom I share DNA are well. So that’s good. I worry about my Aunt Mary Lee who is 87. But she says not to:  she’s fine and her ritzy retirement community in McLean, VA is on “lockdown.”

Psychologically, in the experience of quarantine and ‘social distancing’, there’s me, and then there are my clients.

My moods go up and down, but a little further down than usual. The terror that Valerie might die of COVID-19 has passed, but I figure I will always need therapy.  I have “Facebook messenger” video chats with my therapist, Darcy of Bend, every other week now, which helps. Having ‘Generalized Anxiety Disorder’ and a tendency toward major depression, I find therapy to be a corrective. A bimonthly tune up. Without it, I naturally veer toward negativity and neurosis, and a hypervigilance that served me well when I was a child, but is exhausting, overwrought and over-thought as an adult.

Psychologically, Valerie is always fine. Seriously. She was once told as a young woman by a therapist who’d tested her with the MMPI (the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory) that she was outrageously and puzzlingly normal. Now that she’s feeling mostly well again from the pneumonia, she’s been tearing up the joint, fixing the sump pump that apparently keeps this little house from drifting down main street on the wetlands it’s built on. Digging out the leaves from our irrigation ditch, chopping and clearing the wood from our front yard.

The BEFORE picture:

The AFTER Picture.

 And this happened one morning in March. Just a cattle drive past our front door.

Valerie’s planning a garden at her daughter’s place, which has a deer-proof fence and lots of sun up on the hill above us. A delivery of horse manure is scheduled, and the garden bed has been rototilled. Val’s granddaughter Jessica and her husband Alan are living up there now, working from home for their Portland-based gigs. They’re almost finished the 14-day quarantine since they moved down here. The new normal: anytime anyone leaves one locale for another, they disappear into strictest quarantine, not to leave their abode. Groceries are delivered to the doorstep. A recent day turned out to be Jess’ 25th birthday: I’d bought a canvas bag with a picture of a pug on it, like her dog Archie, and Valerie found something gluten free flour mix with fresh jam to give her. Birthday gatherings are suspect at the moment.

Here’s a lovely idea for quarantined birthday celebrations:

What a kind and generous offer.

Even in isolation, Val and I do socialize, on zoom. The one pictured below is church.

We ‘visit’ with our fellow parishioners from St. Luke’s on Sunday evenings. Then we say Compline together, from the Book of Common Prayer. My favorite prayer of all time is this one from that service.

Yes, shield the joyous. Because joy is fleeting.

Our writers’ group, Easy Writers, ‘meets’ on zoom every Monday now. I wrote this bit about my yarn for the prompt, ‘write something in your home that means a lot to you.’

I am doing a great deal of crochet and a little knitting.

Yarn is my comfort and my joy. It is the raw material I create blankets and scarves and hats with. My tools are hooks and needles made from wood and plastic and metal. My fingers are also my tools.

Some of the yarn is like cotton candy: spun mohair from a goat is said to have a ‘halo’ or ‘aura’ because of the gentle cloud of color you can see an inch or two away from the spun thread. Some yarn is like twine: you can see every string of ply. My favorite is merino wool and single ply. A unity of color that will not split. All for one and one for all, the fuzzy stuff is twisted and bound into a single string of strength…

My clients are stressed out. The pandemic adds a layer to the stress they were already experiencing. I listen and knit, from within the cocoon of the yarn room which my folks can see behind me.  One of my clients wanders about with her phone in her hand while I get slightly dizzy. I like this kind of counseling since I get a glimpse of my clients’ homes. Reminds me a little bit of being a geriatric care manager. You can tell a lot about a person from their home. From my home you can tell that I have a lot of yarn, and I work multiple projects at a time because there are piles of them alongside my recliner.  

One of the sad weights of being present for my clients is their level of estrangement for most if not all social connections, especially people with whom they share DNA. And every single one has what is called in the mental health world “complex PTSD” from multiple traumatic experiences.  I sit with them, on the phone or via video. I hope to model for them what Carl Rogers called ‘unconditional positive regard.’ I breathe deeply to release my own distress at their sadness. We explore one tiny step toward reducing their isolation, the sense of trust. All during a pandemic where other people could be carrying a potentially deadly virus.

It’s no wonder I’m pawing mohair out of screen for my own comfort.

Sometimes I email clients links or articles on how to keep their spirits up, or about good things that are happening instead of the dire predictions they’re listening to or watching. There is much to share that is hopeful.  I sent one to a client on creative ways to care for everyone and she shot back:

“I believe this is Liberal rhetoric. 

Esp the paragraph below:

 This current emergency provides the possibility for a new emergence—the birthing of a truly civil civilization dedicated to the well-being of all people and the living Earth. “

Oh well. We can’t have a truly civil civilization dedicated to the well-being of all people, now can we?

Sigh.

 Brilliant writing is being penned right now, since the entire planet’s human inhabitants are barely one degree of separation away from this virus, which is apparently ‘barely alive’ and therefore hard to kill, as it spreads onward to make millions miserable and hundreds of thousands die.

I’m saving articles from The Atlantic, The NY Times, and the Washington Post, and following a historian named Heather Cox Richardson who writes a daily blog called Letters from an American. In a recent post she writes:

“The big news … has been the ‘protests’ of state governors’ stay-at-home orders and mandatory business closings to try to contain the novel coronavirus …These protests are a classic example of trying to control politics by controlling the national narrative. The protests are backed by the same conservative groups that are working for Trump’s reelection. …These are not spontaneous, grassroots protests. They are political operations designed to divert attention from the Trump administration’s poor response to the pandemic. Even more, though, they are designed to keep the American public divided so that we do not protest the extraordinary economic inequality the pandemic has highlighted.

These protests have diverted the national conversation by turning a national crisis into partisan division along the lines the Republican Party has developed since the 1980s... The change of subject protects not just Trump but also the ideology at the heart of his Republican Party. Since 1981, Republicans have argued that the economy depends on wealthy businessmen who know best how to arrange the economy—the makers-- and that it is vital to protect their interests. Under their policies, wealth in America has moved upward. The pandemic has highlighted how these policies have removed economic security for ordinary people. They cannot pay their bills, and they might well turn against an ideology that uses our tax dollars to bail out corporations while they must risk their lives to pay their rent.”  [Emphasis mine]

I am so glad someone smarter than me can reveal the interconnections of what’s going on politically.

There is food for thought on Facebook and Instagram: in the guise of a rewrite of Mary Oliver’s Wild Geese, this poem.

Mary Oliver for Corona Times (after Wild Geese)

by Adrie Kusserow

You do not have to become totally zen, You do not have to use this isolation to make your marriage better, your body slimmer, your children more creative. You do not have to “maximize its benefits” By using this time to work even more, write the bestselling Corona Diaries, Or preach the gospel of ZOOM. You only have to let the soft animal of your body unlearn everything capitalism has taught you, (That you are nothing if not productive, That consumption equals happiness, That the most important unit is the single self. That you are at your best when you resemble an efficient machine). Tell me about your fictions, the ones you’ve been sold, the ones you sheepishly sell others, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world as we know it is crumbling. Meanwhile the virus is moving over the hills, suburbs, cities, farms and trailer parks. Meanwhile The News barks at you, harsh and addicting, Until the push of the remote leaves a dead quiet behind, a loneliness that hums as the heart anchors. Meanwhile a new paradigm is composing itself in our minds, Could birth at any moment if we clear some space From the same tired hegemonies. Remember, you are allowed to be still as the white birch, Stunned by what you see, Uselessly shedding your coils of paper skins Because it gives you something to do. Meanwhile, on top of everything else you are facing, Do not let capitalism coopt this moment, laying its whistles and train tracks across your weary heart. Even if your life looks nothing like the Sabbath, Your stress boa-constricting your chest. Know that your antsy kids, your terror, your shifting moods, are no less sacred than a yoga class. Whoever you are, no matter how broken, the world still has a place for you, calls to you over and over announcing your place as legit, as forgiven, even if you fail and fail and fail again. remind yourself over and over, all the swells and storms that run through your long tired body all have their place here, now in this world. It is your birthright you be held deeply, warmly, in the family of things, not one cell left in the cold.

-Adrie Kusserow

 Not one cell left out in the cold. Yes.

There is so much to be grateful for. I have a place to live, and even while paying off my bankruptcy debt, I have plenty. Enough that I can make small donations here and there. Here’s one cause I found: supporting foster children who were in college and now have no place to go. (Terrible visuals for the logo: it’s “Together We Rise.”)

Soon, the nights of below freezing temperatures will pass, and both Lesbians of Paisley will be healthy at the same time.  Perhaps I’ll get my Tricycle-for-Grownups serviced and toodle around for exercise. Perhaps the Stitch & Bitch knitting/crochet gatherings will resume, maybe in a park for physical distance and social connection.

And maybe I’ve already had Covid-19, and so has Valerie. Looks like 50-70% of all the people on the planet, not quite 8 billion humans so maybe 4 to 6 billion people, need to catch this thing in order to give our species herd immunity. Or WILL catch it because we have no way to stop it, only to slow the infections so that health care is not overwhelmed. We live and Love in the Time of Coronavirus, to paraphrase Gabriel Garcia Marquez. I maybe a libtard, a snowflake, a lily-livered liberal, who’s heart bleeds. But I agree with this sentiment, found on Facebook, our American ‘commons’:

Love absurdly and abundantly, my people. And wash your hands. 

[staygoldponebone]

Sweater Weather

Part Fifteen: Sandy

The next morning was strange. Sandy got outta bed and made breakfast. Usually Evie was already at her house with one of the other girls or with Steve. But today, the living room was empty. The tv wasn't on and she couldn't hear any low chatter. There was just a deafening silence.

Going into the kitchen, she heard quiet whispers. Two people were talking. A male and female. They said her name a couple of times. She didn't know where the whispers were coming from and she was worried. She grabbed a pan from the top shelf of kitchen supplies by the fridge.

Holding it over her head, she pulled open the door that lead to her garage. There was a scream, then Sandy stopped. Evie.

She was standing beside Steve's car, while he was beneath it. She dropped her cigarette on the concrete floor when she jumped at the sight of Sandy with a pan over her head. "What the hell are you doing?!" Evie breathed.

"You scared me! I thought you guys were robbers."

"I wouldn't rob this place if you made me." She says, stepping on her cigarette. "No offense."

Sandy lowered the pan. "Have you guys seen Soda?"

"We stopped by his house, but Darry said he went to work early."

"You wanna drive me over to the DX?"

"Sure."

"You wanna get ready first?" Steve asks, looking Sandy up and down. Sandy noticed her pajamas and nodded, going back into the house.

After getting ready, she got into Steve's car. The ride was silent and Sandy was praying Soda wasn't mad at her.

When she went into the gas station, Soda looked up and smiled. There were a couple of girls at the counter that were flirting with Soda the best they could. He looked really uncomfortable.

Sandy went over. The two girls at the counter gave her dirty looks, then walked away. "Hey, Soda." She greets.

"Hey, Sandy." He came around the counter to hug her. "What're you doing here?"

She pulled away, looking him right in the eye. She was frowning. "I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to stay with me, ok? I don't wanna embarrass you or make you feel like you-"

"Sandy, you could never embarrass me." He smiled. "I was just surprised yesterday. It's no big deal. I'm real happy you're here." Soda grabbed onto Sandy's hands, then kissed them. "I love you."

Sandy suddenly felt sick. She didn't tell him. And no one else did either. All Soda knows is that she's pregnant. He doesn't know the baby's not his. He doesn't know about the party. He doesn't know and she feels bad for not saying anything. She glanced at Steve. He hadn't been happy with her since he found out that it was only her baby not hers and Soda's. She felt panicked.

"Listen, babe. We need to talk, ok?" She felt tears in her eyes.

Soda noticed and nodded. "I'll tell Pete. We can go outside for a few minutes."

He walked to a room in the back and Sandy waited impatiently. She put her hands over her face, then soon enough, Soda was back and he took her outside.

"I'm sorry." Sandy cried. She fell apart, right there. Soda wrapped his arms around her and she buried her face in his shirt.

"What're you sorry for? I mean, it's my baby too." Soda whispered, running his hand through her hair. She only cried harder. Soda didn't understand. "C'mon, San. Talk to me. It's ok."

"I'm scared." She hiccups.

"Of what?"

"You're gonna hate me, Soda. I just know it. After today, you'll think like everybody else. And...I don't blame you."

Soda felt himself stop. He felt his face get hot with anger and he swallowed hard. "What do you mean? What're people thinking?"

"People think I'm a slut. A whore." She shrugged, shaking her head. "It doesn't matter. They're right. I'm awful."

"Is this about yesterday with Steve? Look, he didn't mean it, ok? Don't worry about it, Sandy. He was just-"

"The baby's not yours." She waited. She waited for the anger. She waited for him to cuss her out. To call her every name in the book. She waited for him to scream and yell and tell her to get an abortion. She waited.

But Soda's heart only sank. It was like the weight of the world falling onto his shoulders. He was numb. Confused. Hurt in some ways. He didn't realize he'd taken a step from Sandy, but she didn't seem to care about where they stood physically.

She wanted to know what he thought. What he was thinking. Then he cleared his throat to speak calmly. "What?"

"I'm sorry, Soda. I didn't- I was just- I-I don't know. I'm just sorry. I never meant to do this. I never meant to- to screw up this badly. It was once and I'm so so sorry." She didn't wanna look at him. She was too disappointed in herself. She didn't think she deserve to be standing with him. She didn't think she deserved him.

Soda slowly nodded. "It's ok, Sandy." He wrapped his arms back around her, holding her tightly. "I still love you. I still wanna marry you. I still wanna-"

"Why? Don't you hate me? Don't you want me gone? Like Steve? I'm an awful girlfriend! I don't deserve anything nice. I don't deserve you, Soda!"

Soda's eyes went glossy and he smiled. "We all make mistakes, Sandy. I'm not mad at you. I want you to know that I care about you. And I love you more than anything in this world and I still wanna marry you. And y'know what? I think I'll marry you, then you'll have this baby and we'll all live happily ever after!"

Sandy gave him a sad smile. "That's sweet of you, but I couldn't let you do that."

"Do what?"

"Throw your life away. I'm not that important, Soda."

"What're you talking about? You are important!"

"I don't wanna ruin your life! I know that you're already under a lotta pressure, Soda. If you stay with me, you'll regret it. And how could I live with myself after that, huh? I couldn't."

"Maybe you won't ruin my life! Maybe you'll make it better! This will work out, Sandy, I know it will!" He could feel tears threatening to fall from his eyes and he held Sandy closer. "Please don't leave, Sandy. I'll do whatever it takes. Please."

~ ~ ~ ~

"This is from Angela!" Evie exclaims, handing over a polka-dotted box with big, purple bow.

Sandy took it, opening it carefully. It was a set of baby food. Sandy grinned. "Thanks, Ang."

"You're welcome. Tim says that that's the good kind. Don't ask me how he knows."

"Open this next, Sandy. It's the best gift." Two-Bit states, handing her a gift bag.

She opened it, pulling out all the paper filling. She looked into the bag and smiled. It was filled with a whole bunch of toys. "Thank you."

"Anytime. And don't be afraid to ask me to babysit."

"You should be terrified to ask him to babysit." Kathy argued, leaning over on her boyfriend. She laughed.

"You're just jealous because my gift was better than yours."

"I got her diapers. Babies need diapers, not a bag full of toys. Great job, Santa Claus!"

Sandy laughed at the two, then Darry sat beside her and gave her a bag. Inside was a teddy bear and some of the Curtis brothers' old baby clothes.

"I wasn't sure if you were having a boy or a girl, but if you're having a boy, there are way more of those in our attic." He states.

"Thanks, Darry."

He nodded, then Pony went over with a box. He smiled and set it on her lap. Books.

"What a shocker! Brainiac got the kid books!" Two-Bit exclaimed.

"I'm honestly surprised Kathy didn't give me books." Sandy replied.

Kathy grinned. "I can get you some, if you need me to. I know exactly where the good ones are."

"Me next!" Johnny announced.

He picked up a big box and set it beside Sandy.

"Need a knife?" Evie questions.

All the boys dug down into their pockets. Pony produced his first. Sandy took it with a smile and opened up the box. It was a rocking horse.

"Do you like it? I know that it wouldn't be able to ride it for a while, but I figured it's best to have it now instead of spending your money later..."

"It's fantastic. Thanks, Johnny." Sandy gave Pony his knife back and Johnny took a seat beside Angela.

Sandy started looking around. "Where's Sylvia?"

"Her and Dally are on their way. They forgot the baby shower was today." Evie says, rolling her eyes.

Sandy's front door opened and Steve came in with a cigarette in his mouth. "Ok. My gifts outside." He states.

Sandy got out of her seat, then zipped up her jacket and headed outside. Soda was standing next to a smaller version of Steve's car. "Isn't it cool?!" He shouted.

Sandy grinned and felt tears on her face. She turned to Steve and hugged him. "Thanks."

"Don't thank me. It was your fiance's idea." He said plainly, motioning to Soda.

"I meant for showing up."

He looked at her. He wanted to say that he was there for Soda, not her. But he didn't. Instead, he said "you're welcome."

The three went inside. "So...can we have some cake or do we have to wait for Bonnie and Clyde?" Angela asks.

"Come on. We'll wait a few more minutes, then if they don't show up by then, we'll have cake." Sandy answers.

Right on cue, Dally pulled into the yard. Him and Sylvia jumped out of his car and went into the house. "I see you've fixed your broken window." Dally states.

"My dad fixed it. If you do it again, you'll get your ass beat." Sandy replied.

He was skeptical. "Ok..."

Sylvia handed her a bag. Sandy's eyes widened at the contents. "You don't like it?" Sylvia questions.

"I mean, it was nice of you to give it to me, but I don't-"

"I didn't think it was that bad. Geez, if you don't like the onesie, just say so."

"Sylvia, this isn't a onesie."

Sylvia went over and grabbed the bag. She looked down at the lingerie inside, then laughed. "Wrong bag."

She went back to Dally's car, grabbing a different bag. There was a tiny, blue onesie in it with a bolded font that said 'My mommy is the best.' Sandy smiled. "Yeah, I like this a lot better."

Sylvia laughed, then sat with Dally. "What'd you bring, Dal?" Steve asks.

Dally patted his pockets, then handed over a box of condoms. "There."

"Condoms?" Soda states.

"Yeah. As a reminder to practice safe sex."

The three boys laughed.

"Alright! I need some cake!" Steve announced.

The boys started eating first while the girls talked. No one was expecting the next guest. No one.

~ ~ ~ ~

@darrybutgay. @salladwinston. @mocurlyshepard. @mushrooms-iscat. @illhangyoutwo-bit. @sunique2005. @omni-hamiltrash. @darrycurtisappreciation.

[londonerbecky]

Parachutes 7a - The Mission

This AU sees Claire working for the Special Operations Executive (SOE) during World War II.  She is on her way to France for a special assignment with two Scottish paratroopers in tow…

Previous posts

My thanks to @bonnie-wee-swordsman for the mammoth edit and @suhailauniverse for the beta reading.  There is a 7b, coming very soon... Hopefully not as long as the last one...

A long, languid sigh of contentment came out as Juliane opened her eyes. Gaston’s head was coming up to meet her neck, lightly kissing her hollow.  

‘He’s happy with me?  Are you sure?  Karla knows who I am?’ he asked between kisses.

‘But of course my dear!  You are a vital part of the French cause!  I have made sure he has heard everything of your exploits and how you are the most committed agent he could hope to have in his ranks.’   He chuckled and she could feel his chest expand in a peacock fashion.  He moved down to her breast, lightly nipping and kissing which brought a sharp intake of breath from her.

‘The British have instructed me to head out on another, longer mission.  I’ll be away for at least a week.  We have a series of drop offs and reconnaissance to undertake.’

She sat bolt upright, eyes flared and glowing with anger.  ‘We? Who is we?’  Hearing the pique in her voice, Gaston looked up sheepishly at Julianne.  Moving back up towards her, he rested his head on her shoulder, slightly pouting.  

‘Don’t be like that, my little ‘witch’.  It’s only orders and they’ve said someone needs to be with La Dame Blanche for as long as she needs; and as commanding officer, I thought it only appropriate for it to be me’.

Her head snapped towards him, her eyes gleaming.  ‘La Dame Blanche is here?  Do you have a name?  Who is she, then?’

‘You know I can’t tell you that and compromise another agent.’  He started stroking her long auburn hair, moving it away from her ears, nibbling her lobe.  ‘What’s so special about her anyway?’ he whispered.

Julianne, hoisted herself up on her elbows, hair falling down around her and hiding her breasts.  Gaston gently moved it away.

‘Special?  My dear, La Dame Blanche is the British Army’s medical botany specialist!  I heard they’d sent her out into the field but didn’t believe they would be so stupid to do it.  They must be desperate.  Or she’s working on something big.’

----

I sighed and looked around again waiting for Gaston to appear.  He had been due thirty-five minutes ago and we had already missed the train to our destination.  The longer we waited, the more nervous I became.  My general antipathy for Gaston was a large part of that.  The relish with which he had delivered the news that London wanted me to go ‘with a commander’ on this mission filled me with dread.  I highly doubted that he was named in the dispatch itself, but he wouldn’t let me see all of it, just the aspect pertaining to my set instructions.  Of course, it made no sense to the other members of the resistance group.

‘Sources say Culloden almost prepared, the bitter cascara might be the only option’

I had groaned at the thought.  The Nazis were close to preparing the lethal botanical weapon and I had to sabotage the production.  The cover was that Gaston would be my husband, an executive for a beauty company and we were visiting the town and factory for product.  We had been told that the beauty factory was only a cover and that a separate factory was adjacent and where Culloden was being manufactured.  We had secured a meeting and now journeyed for a week long mission.  Anyone else I wished.  Anyone.

A cough stopped my train of thought.

‘Madame? Claire?’  I recognised the soft voice with the hint of Scots lying underneath.  For some reason, I caught my breath and felt the valves in my heart quicken.I looked up to see a riot of ginger curls, the sun beaming through, blinding me.

‘Jamie? Where is Gaston?  I’ve been waiting for nearly an hour and the next train is due in ten minutes’

He scooted next to me, the warmth radiating so violently that my cold body was fighting to not sit up against him.

‘Taken ill, weird sickness.  Raymond said it’s almost like M. Robichoux, so God knows how he caught that.’  His feet tapped on the platform and he glanced down at them. ‘So, I’m your husband’ He coughed again and looked towards my bags and before I could respond to his statement, stood up and collected everything and strode towards the platform, leaving me to rush behind him.

‘What do you mean you’re my husband? Are you saying you're taking his place?’  

Jamie stopped so abruptly, I almost crashed straight into his tall frame, panting with the quick exertion.  

‘Well, er. Yes. What kind of a friend would I be to leave you in the arms of <Rupert>?’ I smiled and was returned by a glint in his blue eyes. ‘I don’t know what we’re doing, but I figured at least one of us does, I am at your service, madame’.

---

By some luck, we had it all to ourselves, which seemed to be both a blessing and a curse.  There was a lingering tension in the air, from what I could not say, but it was palpable.  Maybe Jamie was nervous about the mission, seeing as he didn’t really know the full extent of it.  It was musty and dishevelled through wartime neglect.  I smiled.  Not unlike us all, I mused.  I settled myself into the corner, by the window.  Jamie, after placing our luggage in the overhead shelves, sat opposite me.  The French countryside looked calm and reassuring, green fields suggesting fertile crops seeming to mock the shortages being felt by the population.  I looked away to find him staring at me.  I looked at him quizzically, and raised an eyebrow, he responded by reading a copy of the local newspaper, but his constant glances up at me, at the door, put me on edge.

Mission nerves.  We all got them from time to time. Luckily, I had other things related to the expedition on my mind; how we were to find the cascara substitute, and how on earth we would be able to get into the factory in the first place to disrupt the process.  I opened up my book and begun to study the composition of the plants the Nazis were using.  Seemed simple, if yet very clever stuff.  The fact that the British hadn’t even thought of it when the French surrendered was mind-blowing.  Well, in truth, they had.  Or rather I had.

My inability to get the team I was working with to consider the possibility that the plants could or would be synthesised was part of the reason I transferred into the SOE.  Very firmly one evening, I was pulled aside by the section leader, the cigarette smell stale and worn on his motheaten jacket.  It was ‘explained’ to me rather idiotically, that my idea would not get far, that I should give it up.  Three weeks later, he came back again and warned me to drop my theory and protests to the head of command.  But I persisted and found it so frustrating, that they moved me to another team.  The boredom of that work was the reason, despite Frank’s displeasure, I ended up in the SOE.  

But I was right.  I was bloody right, the bastards.

The jostling of the train relaxed me and I looked up out of my window, closing my eyes to envisage the structures of the plants and how they were fusing together in the most deadly way. Clarity and sense of purpose flowed and I began to see how much cascara we may wish to use.

‘What have you got in that wee book there?’ I was thrown out of my meditation by Jamie’s soft Scottish burr.  I glanced around and seeing that we were still alone looked at him ‘Your lack of security is quite something. En français, s’il te plaît’.

A lopsided smile came across his face. ‘Well, what is in your book that has you tapping and muttering so?  Can I take a look?’

My large companion moved, to sit next to me.  I moved closer to the window, the seat barely registering my presence, yet Jamie seemed to completely disrupt the wadding inside and,  much to my amusement, bounced me in the air as he settled into place, dust moving everywhere like tiny wisps.  In all the commotion, and in his eagerness to see the book, he practically sat on top of me, so close that our legs touched in a familiar, yet strange way.  

‘It’s nothing really, just a little book on plants that I like to read from time to time.’

‘On plants you say?  I’ve noticed you picking up little bits here and there.  Is it a hobby of yours?’

I glanced up at him, meeting those earnest blue eyes.  I breathed slowly, not knowing how much to give away in this area.  I’d talked freely to Jamie, as open as one could be in the circumstances.  I found him easy company.  He was a born storyteller,  like most Scots I’d come across, we had shared many stories and had reached a friendly intimacy and I felt awkward telling him the truth.  I wanted to tell him more, yet I was torn.  Any more information could certainly put him in jeopardy and I didn’t want his death on my head.

‘You could say that’.

I saw him eyeing me up, wondering what to say.  ‘You could say that…’ he trailed off.  ‘Something tells me you’re not telling me the whole story with that Claire.  It’s more than just a hobby isn’t it?’  I could feel the perspiration begin to form on my neck, the clamminess uncomfortable and I moved my hand to my neck to try wipe it away.  Jamie continued, low.  Like a horse tamer trying not to startle a newborn foal.  

‘I think there is room for secrets in the world we live in.  God knows, you have to have them.  But not lies.  Not between us.  Know that you don’t need to tell me anything that isn’t classified, anything that would compromise the mission and’ he paused and looked at me ‘more importantly you’.

I gulped.  It was now or never.

‘Medicine isn’t my specialty.  I am a trained nurse, but botany was my first love.  The two together are rather fascinating to me, how nature itself can heal.’  And that was it.  I found myself explaining my background, mindful to not tell him everything.  I couldn’t tell him about Frank.  Something always stopped me.  

Silence.  Jamie just looked at me.  His face impassive and hard to read.  I felt anxious but resolved.  He wanted the truth, and I gave it to him.  He knew some measure of the type of woman, the type of person I was.

He smiled that lopsided smile that gave me reassurance, a dusting of stubble lightly flecking his face and a twinkle lept to his eyes.

‘Now! I almost forgot, time to make it official!’ And with that he jumped up off of the banquette and grabbed at his case.  ‘Can’t have my wife going about without a ring now, can I?’  I rolled my eyes.  He chuckled, his shoulders raising.

‘Heaven forbid! What did Gaston give you, some old dusty gold ring?’

His eyes shifted to his case.  The mood in the carriage suddenly went very serious.  

‘Ah well, no. I brought my own.’  And with that he ceremoniously got down on one knee, I couldn’t help but smile at the sweetness of it all. ‘Claire Beauchamp, will you do me the honour of being my wife? My mission wife that is’.

I nodded, and he slipped the ring on, muttering something I couldn’t quite make out.  

‘What was that?’

‘Nothing, just a bit of the Gaelic. Seemed wrong to put it on and not say it. Traditional like.’

‘Have I sold you my soul?’ I teased, laughing ‘and more importantly, did you give me your soul to so with as I like?’

[chaospenelope]

Dreaming

For @jflare205

There was much pain in a city that refused to sleep. So much hatred in a city filled with thieves and murderers. Unfortunately innocent civilians remain trapped in a city that refuses to die. They are left defenseless against an army of gangs and ill intentions. The law commonly arrives too late to protect them, but there is still a glimmer of hope. A team of assassins are their only protection against the streets, and yet, even these saviors are not without pain and anger. Five figures rested on the edge of a tall building. It was for the slightest of moments as they were in the process of watching a group of suspected burglars creep around a hospital. "Why here of all places?" The large marked bear stared down at them worryingly. He spoke in a whisper. "Medical supplies are always in demand, but more likely they're after a high." Lu watched them closely. He could see one glance around with a shotgun cocked. "This'll be over quickly." Freddy huffed in dissatisfaction. He twirled his Kunai one last time before tucking it away, ready to leap into action. "Then we'll just have to play around with them." The cat mused unsheathing her unpleasant claws. "You're good at wasting time at least." She pushed off the edge before he could snap back. He growled as he rushed to catch up with her. "Hey, Wait for us guys!" Bonnie whined before he followed. The last two, Yokorobi and Lu glanced at each other. The larger nodded telling him he was ready to go.

"Stealing from the sick? What, You plan on hitting the Orphanage next?" "Shit!" One of the humans cursed pulling out a handgun as they hunted for the source. He felt a sharp pain slice through his throat. Words shifted into gurgling forcing a warm liquid to trickle down, soaking his clothes. He fell to the cement staring blankly at the bear who cut him down. The others raised their firearms and immediately shot a storm of bullets. Lydia sunk her claws in the back of one the shooter's head. He gave an agonizing cry as she dragged the nails downward. An anthro shot his gun at the closest assassin. He missed Bonnie's head, cutting his ear ever so slightly. "You call that aiming?" He grinned pulling out his own gun. The plasma bullet scorched through his fur, flesh, eyes, bone, then the gruesome insides. He screamed at the slow burn as he fruitlessly tried to pull it off burning his paws in the process. Three of them surrounded Yokorobi with guns pointed at his head. He didn't flinch, instead he gripped the closest by the arm tight enough to break bone. He threw him onto the other two as they retaliated, unintentionally killing their comrade. Lu was in the midst of snapping one of their ribs when he noticed one of them slipping into an alleyway. He made his pursuit, easily closing in like a tiger chasing a wounded calf. The fugitive halted as the panda leaped in front of his path. "W-Wait!" The last one sputtered with wide, frightened eyes. "Please! Don't kill me! I need the medicine!" "Oh?" He examined his face looking for any signs of truth. "What kind of medicine?" "O-Antibiotics." He gasped but he knew was caught. He flashed his weapon as fast as he could in the hope that he could save his sorry life. He was too late as a fist jammed into his gut taking the air right out of his lungs. As he fell over there was a sharp chop to the base of his skull, killing him. "Nice try, thief." He spoke spitefully before returning to the rest of the assassins. Bodies circled around them like discarded trash. Sirens blared faintly in the distance and without a word they disappeared into the growing night. "That's a job well done." Bonnie stated smugly as they now rested in the headquarters. He stood in the room as everyone settled down. "What the hell did you do in the bathroom!?" Freddy asked, both he and Lydia glared at the rabbit. The latter drawing her claws. "H-Huh? No! I wasn't- I meant the fight!" He held his paws out defensively, a blush forming on his cheeks. "Humph." Lydia remained unconvinced. Lu didn't find much interest in their interaction. He sat staring at a photograph of his family. The faces of his parents, little sister, and twin brother brightly smiled at him. He thought about the time he spent with them, all the laughs, talks, and afternoon icecream. He missed them deeply but he knew had to keep fighting, for them. His eyes grew heavy and tired, so he tucked the picture away and fell into a gentle slumber.

The sun shined on the lush, green meadow stretching in front of the panda. Behind him was a small waterfall trickling gently down a river. Pleasing chirps and fluttering filled the air. Lu took a deep breath, taking in the fresh fragrant air. He sat still and closed his eyes as the calming ambiance flowed through him. One of his ears twitched as he heard a splash. His eyes shot open. Something darted away in the corner of his eye. He stood up and turned as he called out. "Hello?" He saw someone knelt down on the river shore. Their back facing him. As he cautiously walked toward him he could tell it was a child. He smiled once he realized this. He never had any visitors before. The cub wore a set of black pjs and had brown fur. "What's your name?" "It's really nice in here." The small brown bear spoke as Lu approached. The cub turned around and looked up with bright blue eyes. "My name is Freddy." "Freddy." Lu wore an amused smirk. "What are you doing in my dream?" He looked around expecting a Yokorobi cub along with a Lydia kitten and a small rabbit kit named Bonnie. "I thought it looked pretty." Lu's expression told him to explain. "I can go into anyone's dreams but I usually just drift around until one finds me...I'm sorry." He looked at his own feet, seemingly ashamed of his actions. He decided it was best to leave and ran down the river bank. "Hey, wait!" Lu followed the little bear. As he did he saw ripple like waves swirling around the boy. A small tear appeared and widened in front of him. The boy disappeared after running into it. The tear then started to close. Lu sped up. At this point he was too curious to give up. He leaped just in time to make it through before the rip stitched itself back together. He thudded onto a cold linoleum floor. He got up and surveyed his surroundings. It was dark but he could tell by the floor and the barely visible children's drawings taped to the walls that this was some sort of family establishment. He stood up, looking for the child. He heard the clicks of claws against the floor. He chased the sound. The papers fluttered upward as he did. Doors began to rise from the ground until he was surrounded. Sounds came from all of them; a horse neighing, rustling of paper accompanied by the soft taps of rain, music of an electric guitar and cheers of fans, the clanging of pots and pans, and the ticking of a clock. He studied each one of the different doors, and after some close listening he determined which sounds belong to each door. Suddenly, a very quiet door emitted a small scratching noise. He thought maybe that was the cub's paws. He didn't have much else to go on so he opened the door, not sure what to expect.

To Be Continued...

[vowel-in-thug]

orange verse silverflint "can i open my eyes yet?"

Allie, my love, I’m so glad I could answer this question, today of all days.

Actually you know I’ve been feeling like hell for the last few days, sick and the gray January weather and today bringing out the end times, etc etc, not to mention the closer we get to season 4, the more anxious I get.

So it was nice to retreat back into my orange world again.

set after st. augustine is that way. WARNING: gratuitous domesticity. Also this got long D: my streak of writing short things ended after two fics

"can i open my eyes yet?"

Flint was headed out into the grove at dawn when Señor Fernandez rides up around the side of the house. Flint tensed. All he had on him was a basket and a piece of hard bread, nothing to cause any real damage.  It was the middle of summer, and he was already sweating through his shirt.

Silver had been up a moment ago, but once he ate a bit of breakfast with Flint, he went back to dozing in the bedroom. The humidity of August made him act as drowsy and irritating as a pregnant cat.

“Hola, Santi,” said Fernandez.

Flint winced. Silver had started calling him that at the taberna and now everyone did it. As far as he could remember, Fernandez had never been to Flint’s orange grove. “What can I do for you, sir?”

Fernandez looked uncomfortable up on his horse. He shifted idly, swatting at a mosquito on his neck. He glanced around for a moment, and Flint realized he was searching for Silver.

“I promised Lua I would come by,” Fernandez started. “Last night, after you two left for home, a man came in. A stranger. English. He was looking for someone he couldn’t name. A man with one leg.”

Flint gripped his bread loaf tightly. He said, somewhat incorrectly, “Lots of men have only one leg.”

“You’re right,” Fernandez agreed quickly. But then he added, “The rest of his description, though. Sounded a lot like your cousin.”

“And what did anyone tell this stranger?” He tried hard to keep his voice sounding like Santiago Quijuana and not Captain Flint.

“Nothing,” said Fernandez. “But I doubt we were the only people he asked.”

Flint set down his basket, teeth clenched. “What did this man look like?”

“Rough,” he said. “Strange.” Which was about as much detail as Flint would get.

“My cousin was a seafarer,” said Flint. “You all know this. He dealt with all sorts of people. Even so despicable as an Englishman. I’ll speak to him about it when he wakes.”

Fernandez nodded. “I promised Lua I would tell you,” he said again.

He was about to ride off when Flint called out to him.

“The stranger,” Flint said. “Was he alone?”

A curious look passed over Fernandez’s face. “No,” he said. “As a matter of fact, he wasn’t. “He had two women with him.”

Flint dug up the buried treasure that morning instead of picking oranges. Just in case.

He finished hiding it in the cellar beneath the house. He went in through the back door to see if Silver was up, and he heard him talking in the front room. It wasn’t unusual. Silver often spoke to the cats, as well as to himself. It had started as a habit to annoy Flint, but now he did seemed to do it all the time, narrating each step in his recipes in the kitchen at work, chatting with objects he used and giving them names (his reserved teacup was named Madi, his knife Betsy). Flint wasn’t concerned about it -- Silver just needed stories to tell.

But then Flint heard a reply -- a woman’s voice, out on the front porch.

He made his way swiftly and silently through his home, but hung back in the shadows. Silver was standing outside, the front door open for the cats to roam in and out freely. Flint could see his knuckles white and livid on his crutch.

“When I said I owed you a favor,” Silver said, sounding incredulous, “this wasn’t what I fucking meant.”

“Well, you should have specified,” said a man’s voice. One Flint, after a moment, recognized.

“Obviously,” said Silver, “I’d thought you’d want something normal, like for me to kill someone. And I honestly thought  you were dead by now.”

“You aren’t the only one who can stage a dramatic and wildly inaccurate demise,” said the man.

And there was really no better opening. So Flint chose that moment to step onto the porch.

“No, he isn’t,” he said.

It felt good. Despite the fact that Flint stood there, wearing a sunhat, a loose shirt, and no shoes, Jack Rackham and Anne Bonny still let out audible gasps and drew their guns, while Max swore in French and retreated behind the other two.

“What the fuck--” Anne stared.

“My thoughts exactly,” said Flint. “What the fuck are you doing on my property?”

Jack swallowed visibly, and needed a moment to collect himself before speaking. They were all looking back and forth between Flint and Silver, and Flint figured a hundred answers were probably presenting themselves, just by how close they stood.

“We were looking for him,” Jack said. “He owes us a debt.”

Flint found he didn’t give a fuck what Silver might have needed to owe what was left of the Ranger crew. They had an understanding now -- the only thing in their past they cared about anymore was who topped the night before so they could switch the following night. “How did you find us?”

“That one --” Anne said, pointing at Silver, “left behind a trail of bodies to follow.”

“If you knew what to look for,” Jack interjected. “It wasn’t easy.”

“Now, hang on,” Silver protested. But then all he said was, “How many constitutes a ‘trail?’”

“Ten,” said Max.

Silver appeared to be thinking about it. “...Who was the tenth?”

Flint rolled his eyes. “What the fuck do you want him for?”

Jack smiled. He took a step forward, but at Flint’s glare he didn’t step onto the porch. “We’re of a similar mind, Flint,” he said. “We are also looking for a way out of the life.”

“Well, you can’t stay here.”

“Obviously,” said Max, looking up at their small house and not completely hiding her distaste. “We have one more final prize in our grasp, to secure all of our futures forever.”

The dread Flint had felt all morning, since seeing Senor Fernandez ride up, increased tenfold. He felt ill, acid rolling around his stomach. His heart beat at an irregular and sickly rhythm as he spat out, “He’s not going with you.”

He felt Silver look at him, but he didn’t give a shit. Silver could be as mad at him as he fucking liked, as long as he was mad here.

“Of course he’s not coming,” said Jack.

“That’s not the favor,” Silver added tiredly.

Someone cried out. At first, Flint thought it was one of the cats, until he saw Anne look down, cupping the front of her jacket, which he could tell now was bulging just so, and hush soothingly. An entirely un-Anne Bonny expression was on her face.

“What the fuck is this,” Flint said.

“That,” said Silver, “is the favor.”

As Flint continued to stare, Anne holstered her gun finally to shift aside a pale green blanket. Max crowded close to Anne’ side, stroking the fussy baby’s cheek softly, murmuring to both mother and child.

Jack drew himself up as he glared at Flint and Silver. He looked proud, and also embarrassed by his pride.

“The prize is guaranteed,” he said, “and safe to retrieve. But our plan requires all three of us to get it.”

“Your plan requires Max, too?” Silver asked.

“All plans require me, John Silver,” said Max. “Or have you forgotten so much?”

Silver looked pissed, snarling in a way Flint hadn’t seen since before he’d died. But Silver didn’t say anything in response, fist tightening on his crutch like he wanted to do something instead.

“We should only be gone three weeks,” said Jack. “A month at the outmost. Time is a factor, with this prize.”

They were being deliberately vague, Flint knew, still seeing them as formidable opponents, even though the only prizes Silver won these days were at his weekly poker nights, where he only cheated sometimes, and Flint still wasn’t wearing shoes.

“A month,” he said.

Jack shifted awkwardly. “We obviously didn’t know we’d be asking you, too. I must admit, if it helps, that we are quite desperate in this endeavor. Since Annie’s birth, our desire for security has grown immeasurably.”

“Annie?”

“Anne the Second,” said Anne, then added, “I didn’t fuckin’ name her.”

Jack and Max said nothing, but both looked pleased with themselves.

“And you came here, to ask Silver to watch over your infant daughter for a month.” Flint pointed. “Silver?”

“Like I said, we were desperate.”

“And he’s smart enough to know what I’d do to him if she even so much as fucking burps wrong,” Anne threw in.

Flint had thought it would take him a couple weeks to retrieve the Urca de Lima, once he’d gotten the page. A couple weeks, and then his life would be freedom and security away from the sea. Less than a year later, he’d been faking his death after waging a war against the entire British government. The moment one uttered the words “final prize”, they were tempting fate, and he knew fate had a way of finding the softest parts of one’s self, and digging its teeth in hard. He knew a few weeks was not always a few weeks.

But he knew, too, that second chances were possible. Third and fourth ones, too. He knew the life they were aiming for wasn’t completely unlikely, either.

“Does she eat oranges?” Flint asked.

Silver turned wordlessly and stomped back into the house.

Max smiled. “She likes bananas. But I’m sure she’ll like oranges just fine.”

Silver didn’t stick around to see the three say goodbye to Annie. Flint, honestly, wished he could have left as well. He could have happily gone his whole life without seeing Anne Bonny with tears in her eyes. They said their endeavor was safe, but that was almost a meaningless concept in this life.

He brought the baby inside the house, setting down the small pack Max gave him, filled with some extra clothes and one or two toys. He looked down at Annie.

She peered up at him, large brown eyes blinking in the sudden shade of the house. She hadn’t yet realized her mother had gone, but Flint figured she would soon.

Silver had disappeared. Sometimes they both needed moments to themselves, and would find areas in the property to hide and deal with their intrusive thoughts. Flint let him be. He knew Silver had a problem with what just happened, and figured he would eventually get over it, or fill Flint in on what was bothering him.

Perhaps he just didn’t like children. But Flint had seen him with the boys at the schoolhouse, and he was great with them. Maybe it was babies, then. Flint knew nothing about Silver’s life before Silver had stolen the page to the Urca gold. Had he younger siblings he’d cared for in his youth?

Had he a child of his own, at one point?

The thought made the coil of dread spring back up through his spine, but it had a different edge to it. Fear of a thing that might have happened long ago. Silver had been a young man, then, but not young enough it wasn’t a possibility.

Perhaps he should have told Jack no. He didn’t, honestly, know what made him say yes. Maybe the idea that they weren’t trying to take Silver away had filled him with such relief.

“Are you going to be a problem here?” Flint asked Annie.

Annie blinked at him and gurgled. But that was not unlike how some of his old crew used to respond to him, and he decided he understood the meaning.

He took her out into the grove. Using an empty barrel and some of her blankets, he propped her up under a tree outside the house. He gave her an orange to play with, and watching her clutch it with chubby fingers and shake it like a rattle made Flint feel -- something.

He picked just enough oranges to give to the schoolboys and the guards at the fort, soothed by Annie’s quiet babbling to her makeshift toy. One of the cats came up to her barrel, and Flint nearly leapt off his ladder to shoo it away, but the cat just sniffed her once. Annie tapped its nose, and the cat curled up next to her and fell asleep.

He made his way back to the house shortly after, Annie in one arm, oranges under the other, and found Silver waiting for him to go to work.

“What the fuck were you thinking, exactly?” Silver asked. He still looked pale and mad. “I’ve been trying to figure it out, and nothing I can think of makes any sense.”

Flint only shrugged. He looked down at her again. She had started dozing in his arms.

“I’ve never held a baby before.” Flint realized it was true as soon as he said it. He’d been an only child, and his grandfather’s friends had been too old to have young children for him to play with. And there weren’t any infants running around the Navy yards, or in the brothels and taverns in towns like Tortuga or Port Royale. He couldn’t remember ever even being this close to someone so young and small.

Silver stared at him, a range of emotion passing through his face, before he sighed heavily. He walked up to Flint and Annie, put one hand on Flint’s neck, the other on Anne’s face.

“You have to support her head more,” he said. “Like this.”

“Can I open my eyes yet?” Lua asked.

“Not yet,” said Silver, sneaking past her with the baby.

“I’m not an idiot,” said Lua, opening her eyes. “I’m not the one that knocked up a scary-looking Englishwoman and then let her leave me with the baby.” She glared at the three of them. “No babies in the kitchen, you know this.”

“I’m not --” Silver stopped, then sighed again. Annie reached up with one fist and tugged hard on his beard, but he didn’t even flinch at it. “I’m not going to raise her. I’m watching her while her mother gets herself settled. No more than a month.”

“You should be marrying her,” said Lua.

Silver let out a strangled laugh. “Oh. No, no thank you,” he said. “Besides, I didn’t even agree to watching her. That was him.”

“Fine. Then you’re the idiot,” she said, pointing to Flint. “And you’re just a bastard.”

Then she said, “Stop walking. No babies in my kitchen! It’s too dangerous.”

“You’re going to fire me?”

“Give me the baby,” she said, taking her quickly but gently from Silver. “You, go cook some food. You, deliver your goods as fast as you can to get back here to look after this mistake you’ve made.”

Flint felt anxious, looking at Annie in Lua’s arms. He knew Anne and Jack would probably feel about as happy at a stranger holding her as Captain Flint, which is to say, not at all. The idea of letting her out of his sight unsettled him.

Lua must have seen it on his face because her face relaxed somewhat. “She’ll be fine with me. I’ve raised babies before. Just hurry back, I have a business to run.”

With one last long look at Silver, and an even longer look at Annie, Flint started to leave.

“Alright, Baby,” Silver said behind him. “You be good for Señora Lua.”

“She has no name yet?”

“Oh. It’s Annie. I think.”

He heard Lua scoff. “That’s an English name. Get to work. Come, Ana. I’ll show you how we stock the bar here.”

Flint sat at his usual table near the kitchen, trying to get Annie to eat some banana. She seemed mostly interested in smearing them on her face while using the spoon as a hammer. She looked happy though.

“And that’s when I happened to glance over and saw your Uncle John trying to protect himself with a meat cleaver,” he was saying quietly so no one would hear. “But your Uncle John was an idiot then and didn’t know how to fight, and he would have likely died had Uncle James not come over to save him.”

Annie rubbed some banana between her fingers and looked at Flint. She held up her messy hands to show him.

“That’s very good,” he told her. “Anyway, Uncle John probably should have died, since he nearly killed the fucking crew with an uncooked pig, and glazed it with so much honey, bees had swarmed the whole damn camp. But fortunately your Uncle James knew how to properly cook a pig, because Uncle James was an adult and not a useless fucking thief like your Uncle John was, and that is how I first taught Uncle John how to cook.”

“Oh my god,” said Silver from behind. “Can you please stop? I can’t deal with this.”

Flint looked over his shoulder. “What?”

Silver came up close so no one could hear. He looked pained, hand flat on his stomach. “I don’t understand what I’m looking at or why I like looking at it. But if you don’t stop doing whatever it is you’re doing, there will be little stopping me from throwing you across this table and trying my fucking hardest to put a baby in you.”

Flint flushed, then glared hard at him. “Shut the fuck up.”

“I’m just saying,” said Silver, brushing Annie’s auburn hair back, causing her to look up at him and gesture with her spoon. “I won’t be held responsible for my actions, and it will be hard to run away from the angry Catholic mob with one leg and a baby.”

It didn’t surprise Flint that Silver chose to get over his problem rather than be up front about it. Still, he asked, “Are you finished being an asshole about this, then?”

“The day I finish being an asshole,” said Silver, “is the day you should check for a pulse. Lua said we can go, by the way.”

Night had only just fallen. People were only just starting to eat dinner. “What? Why?”

Silver made a face. “She said young babies need rest. As do new fathers.”

Flint wondered if that included him, and he couldn’t decide if he wanted it to. He watched Silver take a napkin and wipe down Annie’s face and hands gently, saying, “Baby, I see you’ve inherited your manners from your father, but thankfully it seems you’ve got your mother’s mouth instead.” It was true, she was remarkably silent, for a baby. “A part of me hopes you’ll get Max’s intelligence, but the other part of me then fears for the future if that’s the case.”

“Have you ever done this before?” Flint had to ask. “Acted as a father?”

Silver said nothing, busying himself with cleaning up Annie’s mess from the table. Then he looked at Flint and smiled. “Don’t you remember when I acted as your Quartermaster? I was father to dozens of smelly, thieving, rotten children.”

Flint decided to let it go. Silver wasn’t exactly wrong, either.

Flint brought up an empty crate from the cellar, and used piles of straw and blankets to make a crib for Annie. He found in her pack a knitted doll, already worn and stained, the painted features all but gone, and he added it to her new crib.

When he gets back into the bedroom, Silver was lying on the bed shirtless, his hair loose on the pillow. The baby was asleep on his chest, rising and falling with Silver’s even breathing. Flint leaned in the doorway, needing time to take in the sight. Perhaps this was what Silver meant at the tavern, the fondness and protectiveness and, the most inexplicable, the lust he felt cascading through him. He knew Silver was aware of him standing there, and even though Annie slept, Silver still read aloud from the book he held over his face.

“All beasts are happy, for, when they die, their souls are soon dissolv'd in elements,” Silver said quietly, yet still inflecting with a performance. “But mine must live still to be plagu'd in hell. Curs'd be the parents that engender'd me! No, Faustus, curse thyself, curse Lucifer, that hath depriv'd thee of the joys of heaven.”

“Really?” Flint asked, setting the crate down. “Is that the best my bookshelves have to offer a child?”

“She’ll need to learn sometime,” Silver said, lowering the book. He sat up, hand under Annie to keep her still. “Not my fault the devils in this life are unavoidable.”

Flint hummed. “There are two in this room right now, after all.”

Silver smiled.

Then he said, as Flint leaned down to take the baby from him, “Put her out in the hall.”

Flint gave him a look.

“Leave the door open, then, so we can hear her,” Silver said, rolling his eyes. “You won't even let me touch you when the cats are in the room.”

Flint kissed him softly, one hand cupping the back of Annie’s head to support her just how Silver showed him. “That's because the cats aren't supposed to be in the fucking house.”

“Well, I put them all outside for the night, because of the baby,” Silver said. “I’m afraid we’ll be facing a mutiny from them tomorrow.”

“Is it wrong that the thought of a mutiny makes me almost nostalgic?” Flint asked, placing Annie in her crib, now just outside the room. She snuffled as he set her down on her stomach, tiny fists curling in her sleep in a way that resembled her mother.

“Yes,” said Silver. “Incredibly wrong.”

Flint crawled into the bed, wrapping himself around Silver. Silver’s chest was still warm from where Annie had been sleeping. Sometimes it didn't feel enough, to just kiss Silver, so Flint bit Silver’s bottom lip and sucked it into his mouth, wanting to consume all of him.

Silver tugged Flint’s shirt off, then shook Flint’s hair loose from its tie. He pulled at Flint until he was stretched all the way over him, full weight pressing down. They were sticky without even exerting themselves, the thick humidity of the summer not relenting even after the sun fell away. Silver often complained about the heat, except when they were lying together. Then, it was like Flint was the only thing protecting him from a cold and unforgiving world.

“Why did you agree to do this?” Silver murmured against him. “Why would you take her in?”

Flint looked out in the hallway, where Annie slept on, cooing softly in a dream. “I didn't think I’d ever have another opportunity,” he said. “It's not like I’ll ever have one of my own. I just -- wondered what it would feel like.”

He hadn't pictured a family in years. As a youth, before he’d truly known himself, he thought he’d have a wife and kids the way men were supposed to, and the idea had filled him with a horrible nausea, which he'd attributed to losing his freedom as a single man. With the Hamiltons, later, they would all discuss welcoming children into their home, Flint helping raise them as another parent, like Max was to Annie and Jack. On Nassau, afterwards, soon after they’d arrived, Miranda had brought up the idea of them having a child together, and Flint should have obliged her, knowing keenly of her loneliness and isolation as he sailed without her. But he couldn't bring himself to do it, unwilling at the time to pass on a name that was false and a bloodline that was evil and violent. He hadn't wanted to have anything so human as a family.

He and Silver were a family now. He knew that. He loved that. But still, he’d wanted to know what it felt like, just for a little while, to be slightly bigger than what they were.

“This was a terrible idea,” said Silver.

Flint blinked at him. “Why’s that?”

“Because I can see the look on your face,” said Silver solemnly. “We’re eventually, hopefully, going to have to give that baby back to her parents, and you’re going to devastated. And then I’m going to have to steal you a baby to cheer you up again.”

“You won't have to steal me a baby,” Flint said, frowning.

“Nah,” said Silver. “I’ll do it. But this time we’re letting Lua think it's your illegitimate child.”

Flint kissed him again, pushing him back against the pillows. He didn't want Silver to steal him a baby, but if he did it, Flint didn't know how hard he’d protest.

“Why did you agree to this?” Flint asked, a moment later. “You know, eventually.”

Silver's hands moved low down his back, stroking at the base of his spine. “I have this bad habit of indulging your most insane whims,” he murmured, running his nails lightly over Flint’s skin. “I really need to grow out of that some day.”

Flint pressed one more kiss into Silver’s mouth before inching lower, leaving a wet trail over Silver’s throat and down his chest. He lifted off to say, unlacing Silver’s breeches, “Allow me to indulge you, then, for awhile.”

---

Flint awoke to an empty bed. He stretched, pulling the thin sheet off his lower body. The morning heat was already cruel and overwhelming. The only nice thing about the summer was it required more baths, and more opportunities to bathe Silver.

The crib in the hallway, when he walked by, was also empty.

He found Silver sitting at the table, like always. Silver's hair was knotted high on his head, and Flint watched the beads of sweat drip down his bare back, suddenly desperately thirsty.

Silver had Annie balanced on his lap. In one hand he held Betsy the knife. In the other, he held an orange.

“Here, Baby,” Silver was saying, slicing up the orange  “I know you’ll appreciate this trick the schoolboys taught me.” He stuck the piece, rind and all, in his mouth.

Flint was too warm. He itched from too many mosquito bites, and his back ached from age and lugging oranges every day. His chest hair had more than a few grays in it, and in another year or so he knew he would likely need glasses to continue reading at night. He could smell his own sweat and he needed to shave and he felt simultaneously overcome with love and fear, looking at Silver with the baby. He felt human.

Over at the table, Annie looked up at Silver's grinning orange mouth, and laughed.

[josephkitchen0]

Weed Eating Goats Tackle a Noxious Problem

This is the secret life of weed eating goats. Imagine being trained to love a certain food. You start at home as a kid eating it with your mother. Later someone takes you, your mother, and all your friends through pastures, byways and hills guiding you to that food you love. This is your job.

Bonnie Jensen started out with about 350 Black Angus cows. She built up and worked the herd, but after a few years, she said, “I’d about had enough of it. I’d got run over and hurt enough that I decided, okay. Not for me.”

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Research and Readiness

Bonnie read an article about a woman in Colorado who was hired to take her goats to eat weeds in the parkways. Bonnie spent that winter researching. She discovered that goats like leafy spurge which presented a major noxious weed problem in her county. She contacted her local Agriculture Extension Office and talked with Shannon Williams, the Agriculture Extension Educator. Together they came up with a plan.

“I’d probably only been in the job two or three months when she came to me with the idea of buying a goat herd to graze noxious weeds,” Shannon told me. “We sat down and talked about it. I had basically zero knowledge of noxious weeds at that point. My learning curve was pretty steep. We did lots of research and then I was the technical support for her first SARE grant.”

A SARE grant allowed Bonnie to convert her ranch.

SARE (Sustainable Agriculture Research Education) grants help producers try new and innovative ways to be sustainable. They focus on profitability, stewardship of the land, and quality of life for farmers, ranchers, and their communities. Receiving the grant allowed Bonnie to do modifications to her existing cattle working facilities to allow for caring for goats.

Bonnie started out with a small herd of about forty cashmere goats. She chose cashmere because of their quiet, gentle temperament. If the weed business didn’t work out, she could still make money on their hair.

Through her contract with the Lemhi County Weed Control Agency, her goats needed to remove 90 percent of the leafy spurge with only 10 percent impact on the desirable plants. With a short season in which to accomplish that, she needed a lot more goats. She couldn’t find large numbers of goats to buy in the intermountain states, so she traveled to Texas and brought home a herd of Spanish and Savannah goats. She would discover that the breed didn’t matter when it came to eating weeds. They all ate the same amount once properly trained.

To train them, Bonnie first had to introduce them to the target weed. “We went out and actually cut some and gave it to them. We figured they were going to scarf it down like a bale of hay, you know.” But they didn’t; they nibbled at it a little and left it. She went back the next day and tried again. When figuring out what to feed goats, remember that goats need to be introduced to a new food slowly. Their rumen and liver need time to gear up to digest or detoxify compounds in the plants. They will wait after trying a new food to see if they get sick. If they don’t, try it again. Once they got used to it, they were hooked. It became their favorite food.

Bonnie discovered that the nutritional needs of nursing does made them even more likely to seek out the high protein found in leafy spurge. She timed their breeding so the kids were ready to go out on the range with their mothers as soon as it was time to be used as weed eating goats. In the fall she could sell the kids for meat to increase her profit.

Eating spotted knapweed.

In addition to working for the weed agency and several other jobs around the west, Bonnie worked with Shannon and the University of Idaho Research Center. Since no research existed to say whether weed eating goats would work on spotted knapweed, they did a three-year demonstration. They fenced the goats into separate plots with knapweed to discover when grazing would be the most detrimental to the plant and when the goats were most likely to eat it. They studied grazing at spring rosettes, bud to bloom, and fall rosettes. The studies showed the bud to bloom stage was the most effective but the goats alone weren’t going to be able to kill the spotted knapweed. The best they could do was reduce the amount of seed added to the seed bank of the soil. To work through that seed bank would take an estimated 15 years.

Herding with Dogs

When Bonnie first started, she read as much as she could about goats and noxious weeds, but she couldn’t find anything on how to herd goats. She had herded sheep before and figured it would be the same. It wasn’t. “A horse doesn’t intimidate them. Yelling at them, even crying doesn’t work. None of that. You’ve got to have some trained border collies: herd type dogs that can do trials, and that’s what controls your goats into making them a uniform working machine.”

Goats with a herding dog and a guardian dog.

Dogs trained for rigorous competitions called trials do not come cheap. Bonnie bought the failures — dogs not quite up to snuff for the competition. She still paid $1,500 to $3,000 per dog. She needed three dogs per herd of 500 nannies and their kids — two to work the herd and a relief dog. With three herds she needed nine of these specialized herding dogs.

She also kept two guardian dogs with each herd to deter predators. Llamas, donkeys, and some breeds of dogs can all be raised or trained to adopt a herd as their own and will go to great lengths to protect them from predators. Dogs work best on open range or in large pastures, while llamas and donkeys are most effective in fenced pastures smaller than 300 acres. Bonnie’s original llama retired to the ranch to guard older nannies or those that had late kids.

Unloading weed eating goats at a job.

Targeted Grazing as a Business

The business of weed eating goats presents more challenges than standard goat farming. Goats must be transported to and from project sites. Moving animals to an unfamiliar place can add stress and reduce intake or make the goats more susceptible to disease or toxins from accidental ingestion of poisonous plants for goats.

A higher level of monitoring is required to document how the vegetation is responding to grazing. This requires well-trained attentive workers who can put in long days. Such workers can be hard to find. Bonnie hired local ranch girls who wanted summer jobs riding their horses.

Weed eating goats are often used with other weed control methods. During the time that Bonnie’s goats were eating the leafy spurge, the BLM was working with insects for biological control. They provided her with GPS points of all the places where they were trying to get the insects established and asked that she not graze there. They missed a couple of sites and her goats ate the weeds in them. When the BLM went back to monitor the sites they found the insect populations had grown much more in the grazed than the ungrazed areas.

It Was an Adventure

Eventually Bonnie’s goats ate themselves out of a job. She bought her first goats in 2000 and sold her last herd in 2016. “It was a grand adventure,” Shannon Williams recalls. “Like I said, I started this job with no knowledge of noxious weeds because they hired me to work with beef cattle and 4-H which I was comfortable with. And so my learning curve was pretty much straight up. Bonnie and I had some wonderful adventures.”

Goats won’t walk or poop in the water so they are ideal for weeds around water treatment plants.

The paper Shannon and Bonnie wrote on the management of goats for controlling noxious weeds https://www.cals.uidaho.edu/edcomm/pdf/CIS/CIS1121.pdf

More information about using goats for weed management http://www.webpages.uidaho.edu/rx-grazing/Handbook.htm

More information about grants for agricultural research and education  https://www.sare.org/Grants/

All photos by Bonnie Jensen

Weed Eating Goats Tackle a Noxious Problem was originally posted by All About Chickens