#boyfriend jonah

[thermodynamic-comedian]

martin/elias is an absolutely hilarious ship if you ignore the angst potential because like. they would outwardly look like a genuinely loving relationship but they're playing 4d chess mentally the whole time. martin's doing his whole innocent and caring sweetheart act to manipulate jonah. jonah's doing his whole boring and non-threatening manager act to manipulate martin. it's like a fake dating trope but both of them think they're fooling the other into thinking it's real

[aestheticpearl]

they accidentally send you spicy pics

✧·˚feat: kayson mayer, jonah, xanthus claiborne, andrew marston, issac rhoades, elias

✧·˚genre: suggestive

✧·˚requested: yes!

✧·˚a/n: one of them definitely sent the photo on purpose but played it off

.love always <3 pearl

.texts masterlist

[chilliesillie]

. ݁₊ ⊹ ranking sakuverse characters based on how chewable their arms are:

1- Isaac: 1000000/10 very juicy and nice, also nice to nibble on, maybe suck on them like chicken wing bones AND he would be amused

2- Zaros: 1000/10 UHFHHFHFH please have you seen the official art? BUFF, JUICY, BICEP THE SIZE OF MY HEAD

3- Elias: 10/10 and i bet he smells GOOD so the ambience would be nice, i made him BUFF in my fanart of him, so yea very nice arms to chew on

4- Dontis: 100/10 HAVE YOU SEENNNNN HIM???? BIG GUY, HUNKY MAN, though because he IS a demon i recon his arms are a little rubbery, idk.

5- Xanthus: 9.9/10 i feel like he has a nice build to nibble and gnaw on but maybe him being a vampire changes the consistency

6- Asirel: 9.98/10 i will gnaw and chew and bite him all ova just because, look at him, he deserves it, i love him

7-Kayson: 9.8/10 he IS an athlete but smoking bad, maybe it made his arms rubbery too, but oh GAWD he’s gorgeous, maybe i’d chew on his pecs.

8- Andrew: 8/10 idk if he’s well built but DAYUM i’d chew his arms like a pacifier MHMHMHMGMG i feel like he would stroke my hair in the meantime

9- Luca: 7.99/10 i feel like somehow his arms are sweet, just like him, AND SOFT very soft, overall a nice experience

10- Rowan: 10/10 MY SWEET BOY, underrated too, i’d love to nibble on him KISS KISS

11- Jonah: 100/10 you know what they say about gamers, i BET he has a sleeper build (and a sleep with me build) he would let me chew his arms while he plays

12- Cevyk: 3/10 i bet its… something…. i feel like its stringy like carnitas, but like in a bad way

13- Alex: 1/10 i would rip his arm off and shake it around until its a prune, in front of him

OH

14- Niall: 5/10 i havent listened to his audios but i feel like he wouldn’t let me but if i got a hold of him it would be kinda nice, i bet he also smells like cinnamon

15- Julian: 6/10 idk havent listened to his audios either, but i feel like he would do it for the butler-y duty

this is of most importance for the sakuverse

[klm-zoflorr]

Things on my mind.

It's a pretty classical trope that people don't tend to be as horny as they age. Train of thoughts has its flaws, of course, but for all intents and purposes it is a trope indeed. How many times have you seen described someone's adventurous youth, promiscuous past, wild early years?

As well, people who have stuff to hide. People who try, and mostly succeed, in projecting a boring middle manager vibe.

So one can only imagine what Jonah Magnus, yes pleasured exhalation 3 whole boyfriends at the same time kept break up letters in my archives pines over a skull sexual tension with everyone he talks to turned on by violence and spooky eye powers and voyeurism most debauched old man on this side of the earth, whore Elias Bouchard, was like in his youth.

For certain, it must have been something to Behold.

[mvltisstuff]

can I request a jonah hauer king fic where they're both famous and can't spend a lot of time w each other, angst to fluff?

you’re losing me - j.h.k

summary: request

jonah hauer king x reader

a/n: and i wouldn’t marry me either 😁 a pathological people pleaser 😁

“i don’t think i can make it on friday, darling,” jonah says, his sullen voice through y/n’s speakerphone. she could almost predict that was what he was going to say. it’s almost been one night a week together, despite the years of a relationship.

due to the little mermaid release, jonah’s career has been at an all-time high. y/n’s never felt prouder of a person before, let alone the man that she loves. this is all she’s wanted for him, his dreams to come true and it’s finally happening. every time she sees him on that screen, or on that carpet, her heart is flooded with love.

“are you sure?” she questions, the sound of defeat seeping through her words.

“i have the premiere, and i’m going to be doing press with halle as well,” he adds, only to confirm that he cannot make it to y/n’s show. y/n swears she can hear her heart crumble in her chest, hearing the muffled crack of glass.

“ok,” she tells him, simply but leaving it at that.

“i’m sorry, love, i don’t make my schedule though.”

“i know, it’s just you haven’t been to a single show for this tour. and i’m playing in london this weekend.”

“i get that, it just happened to fall on a terrible weekend. i tried to negotiate it but it doesn’t work that way. i’m so sorry, y/n.”

“you don’t have to apologize,” y/n replies, trying not to let any sass or hurt come through the phone. “i really wanted you to be there.”

“y/n, i don’t know what you want me to do. i wish you could be at the premieres, but you have your tour to worry about.”

“i don’t need you to do anything, baby,” she rubs her eyes with her fingers, letting them rest on her face. “and i’ve tried to make it to the events, i swear. im just glad i even made it to the ones i got to go to.”

“it just makes me feel bad, i don’t want you to think i haven’t been there for you.”

“that’s the complete opposite, jonah. i know you support me, and i want you to know that im here for you, even if im not there physically.”

“i love you, y/n. i have to go shoot for a bit, but i’ll call you tonight?”

“i love you, too,” she tells him, leaving just the sound of a kiss through the phone. she throws it back down on the bed, laying on her side and pretending his arms were around her.

it’s never easy being separated from someone you’ve grown so close to. both of their careers have skyrocketed, but their naïvety never realized how difficult it can be to have love and fame.

so, when y/n closed her eyes that night, she simply dreamed of jonah being next to her.

the friday came too quickly around the corner, still no signs that jonah would be able to attend. before changing into her concert outfit, she spoke through her several mics, asking if jonah had said anything, but alas, there were barely any messages. until right before she went on stage, she got a few words from her assistant.

“hey, jonah texted to say good luck, and that he’s sorry.”

y/n could only nod, not wanting her upset to come across as clear to her fans. she never realized how one small thing could ruin the magic of a night. however, she painted a bright smile onto her mouth, her bright beam soon being revealed onto the massive screens around the stadium.

she forced herself to sing through each of her songs for the tour, the thrilling fans in her ears. she never gets tired of seeing the people who come here just for her, but if she’s being honest, she’s tired of missing jonah.

when the lights went dark at the end of each set, her cheeks were finally relieved of the fraudulent grin on her face.

the show finally came to an end, the encore being finished and the fans starting to disperse. y/n slipped on a jacket over her sparkly costume, and followed her crew out to her area to get unready. she just wanted to go home and be able to be held by jonah, but then she was confronted that home would just be another lonesome place without him.

she walked with a lack of pep to her room, connecting her warm palm to the cool metal of the doorknob. she opened the door slowly, only to see jonah’s handsome figure on the couch in her room.

“that might’ve been my favorite performance yet,” he smiles, sitting up from the back of the couch. y/n releases a breath she didn’t know she was holding, rushing over to let herself fall into his arms on the couch. the exhaustion from the show tonight started to really take over her body, but it still couldn’t outweigh the feeling of joy that she gained from seeing jonah.

“how did you get here?” she asks, gleefully.

“i pushed a few things around, i left a little early.” he informs her, leaning over to kiss her cheek as she sits and places her head on his shoulder. “you planned this showtime for me, and i didn’t even think about it.”

“you’re here, and you have no fucking idea how much that means to me,” y/n connects her lips with his, letting the kiss come together perfectly. she can taste the faint champagne on his lips, seeing a photo of him drinking it with cast mates earlier. the comforting smell of his strong cologne filled her nose. even after running around a stage, with imperfect makeup, y/n still looked like N angel in jonah’s eyes.

“let’s go home, love,” he gleams against her lips, getting the same bewitching grin that he adores in return.

[zsakuva]

I re-listened to Jonah my fav 🫶🏽 and I think he mentioned graduating from school, then college, but he was still waiting for his parents to see him graduate? My question is, how old is he and what did he/is he studying? (Or maybe o just misunderstood the video or I don’t get the British school system, both very likely 🤣)

In the current timeline, he is around 24, but during episode 2 he was still studying Games Design at university!

[eldritchcircus]

Grim: what do you MEAN it might or might not be a real house or a real Minotaur!? I’m IN THE HOUSE…… WHERE IS MY NEW BOYFRIEND 😡

[gushingveins]

how do you deal with people being stupid OTHER than putting them in a trap or some shit .

“ Fuck, I don’t know. ”

He shrugged.

“ If you’re referring to someone being genuinely stupid, I usually just berate them ‘till they get whatever point i’m trying to make through their thick skulls. With assholes like Adam or Strahm, I argue with them. It doesn’t matter if I’m wrong. They give up eventually. ”

[superpussyking]

Do you have any furry thoughts for Jonah / any of his other suitors ? Cause Albrecht always struck me as some kind of bird if only because there’s no animal that’s awkward in the way birds are and Barnabas is unmistakably dog coded .

YES!!! not super concrete bc I only just started thinking about it- I was gonna make Albrecht a bird I just couldn't decide which one! I was thinking crow but I like him as a songbird a lot more.

Jonahs an oriental shorthair cat, bc oriental shorthairs look like people to me. I image he wants to be a bird so bad tho- bc he's partially based on our jonah introject, who wants to be a bird but is the most orange cat coded person I've ever met. Also imagining furry Jonah with species dysphoria is a little funny to me.

Ofc also cats being preditors as well as being the autism animal, they form bonds with others but always have a guard up around strangers, likes to cause problems and stare at things, secretly likes head pats ect. Ect.

I also think Barnabas is super dog coded but I wanted to draw Fareshaw as a dog more, so he got cow'd (cow Barnabas pictured bellow)

I made a him a cow bc I wanted an animal that would really hurt if it was alone too long (to go against cat Jonah who can stand to be isolated for a bit). Ig I could make them both dogs but I feel like if I'm going to sell it as a set I don't want duplicate animals.

Jonathan is a dog 100%, I just can't explain it. He is tho trust me. A hound dog of some kind. I do also think he could also be a bird but he's just so uppy to me.

I forgot about Smirk. Maybe he's um. A rodent of some kind? Or a small bird also. I could also see him as a pig. I'll have to workshop this.

Mordechai is an owl (for now) bc they're purely solitary animals. They have special feathers which let's them move almost completely silently which works very well for a lonely avatar. They also have a long standing beef with crows and ravens, which I just think is kinda funny. I also imagine it would be unsettling to see an owl with a glossed over foggy look to its eyes as opposed to the sharp and intentional look they normally have.

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

one of my most silly but also firmly held tv opinions is that i think superstore should have gone mateo/marcus instead of mateo/amy's nice brother (who is extremely nice, but not in a way that really lends itself to memorable tv antics)

i get the argument that mateo is a smidge too sane, perhaps, to be dragged down by marcus's dumpster fire ways, but i disagree. i think it would have been fully worth it for the shenanigans value of such an unexpected courtship.

[nevaehdavis5675]

whos your Mandela catalogue Bf?

[thermodynamic-comedian]

timelias is appealing because it's the worst thing that could happen to either of them. imagine how devastating it would be for tim to be attracted to the most annoying, boring, corporate bitch ever. like his one interesting trait is that he's evil. and on the other hand, elias would be forced to come to terms with the fact that his most irritating employee is, in fact, hot. and it would be so entertaining for literally everyone else

[aestheticpearl]

calling them a good boy

✧·˚feat: kayson mayer, jonah, xanthus claiborne, andrew marston, issac rhoades, elias

✧·˚genre: crack, suggestive

✧·˚requested: yes!

✧·˚a/n: next multi character texts will have more people 🤭

.love always <3 pearl

.texts masterlist

[nikkiruncks]

That 70s Show (6x01) | That 90s Show (1x07)

[tall-mccartney]

it’s casual

[mvltisstuff]

meltdown - j.h.k

summary: y/n has to deal with a drunk jonah who won’t stop ranting about his girlfriend

jonah hauer king x reader

a/n: ur funny if you think i proofread this

“hey, y/n!” the giggly voice of one of jonah’s friends come through the phone. jonah had been out with his friends for the night, wanting to see them because he’d been so busy filming. y/n was thrilled to see him with his friends again, so she just decided to stay home and spend some time alone. “so, jonah’s like plastered, and he’s refusing to let any take him back to you. can you pick him up before he sleeps on the bar floor?”

“yeah, of course,” she sighs with a light grin on her face. “i’ll be there in 10, make him drink some water or something.”

she began the casual drive over to the bar they had been hanging out at. jonah told y/n he wasn’t going to drink that much, but clearly he made no promises.

“i’m not leaving until my girlfriend comes to get me,” jonah demands, slurring his words out at his friends.

“mate, she’s on her way, chill out!” his other friend laughs, trying to force some water into his mouth to sober him up. when y/n walks in, she’s confronted with the smell of liquor and the neon lights in her eyes. the music was blaring, making jonah’s voice even louder than it normally is when he’s drunk. “i’m getting your stuff, don’t even dare try anything.”

when y/n spots his dark curls and fidgeting fingers, she walks over to him and puts her hand on his shoulder, making him jump. “ready to go?”

“no, sorry,” he mumbles. “i’m waiting on someone.”

“like who?”

“my girlfriend, she’s supposed to pick me up and i’m not leaving if she’s not with me,” y/n smiles at his persistence, wanting her here with him so bad. he loved the night with his friends, surely having a great time, but y/n lights up whatever room she’s in.

“uh-huh,” she teases. “so who’s this mystery girl?”

“my y/n’s coming to pick me up,” he tells her sweetly, still having no idea that she’s next to him. “and i reeeeeally love her, she’s my soulmate and i would run across the globe a bajillion times for her, so if you’re looking for anyone, it’s not me.” his words mush together, speeding out of his lips before y/n walks to find his friends.

“oh good! did you find him?”

“i did, he has no fucking clue who i am, though,” she laughs. his friends eyes widen, his mouth dropping slightly.

“good luck with him,” he pats her shoulder, handing her jonah’s coat as she walks back over to see him slumped in his hand.

“jonah, cmon,” she puts her hand on the side of his face. “time to go home.”

“y/n?” he squints his eyes open, looking her right in the eyes. “i’m so happy you’re here, people keep trying to take me home and this girl would not walk away!”

“well, i’m here now, darling,” she helps him stand up, letting him place some of his weight on her as they stumble to the car. she yanks the door open, making him sit down and buckle. “have some of this,” she hands him her water bottle.

“can i play some music? my music?” he asks, smirking.

“knock yourself out,” she hands him the cord, letting him play the little mermaid soundtrack as he belts out to poor unfortunate souls in the speaker. y/n chuckles in the corner, trying to focus on the road and not her wasted boyfriend.

when she pulls into the driveway, she has to drag jonah out of the car to make him stop singing, trying not to wake up the neighbors by his drunken sounds. “alright, go upstairs and into the bathroom.”

jonah takes slow steps in front of y/n on the stairs, almost missing a few here and there but she keeps a steady hand on his back. he doesn’t release a hold on her hand in the bathroom, leaving her with one free hand to help him brush his teeth and get ready for bed. he tries to give her sly kisses while brushing his teeth, but she has to almost leave to room to get him to stop. “baby, if you don’t brush your damn teeth-“

“fine!” he complains, finishing up and moving into the bedroom. he falls facedown on the bed, y/n sighing at him as he cackles and sits up. she helps him move all the blankets before climbing in next to him. he rolls closer to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and putting his head on her chest.

“you know i love you, right?” he asks, sleepily.

“of course, jonah,” she looks, locking eyes with him. “you’re the only one for me.”

jonah blushes and grins like a little kid before shutting his eyes and falling asleep to one of y/n’s shows on the tv. she admires his soft expression, gently running her hands on his back to help him fall asleep.