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squealing-santa · 7 months

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Welcome, one and all, to the 8th Annual Tickle Fandom Bloggers Squealing Santa Extravaganza!

This year’s humble host for 2023 on her second year is @hypahticklish - I'm ecstatic to continue stoking the fires of our wonderful tradition! We were so lucky last year to have not only our community artists join the fun, but to break our previous record of participants. I cannot wait to see all the magic our corner of tumblr is able to create 🥰 But enough of my shmoozing - let’s get on to the main event!

Here are the general rules of engagement:

In order to get a peice of tickle fiction or art, you must be willing to create a new peice of tickle fiction or art for someone else.

Your work must be based on the fandoms and prompts provided by your giftee during registration. Examples of what those loose prompts may look like can be found here.

All creations must be posted during the month of December.

All creations must have a title and @ both their giftee and the event blog when posting.

All participants will have their DMs and Asks available for communication with the event Host.

For Our Writers

Fics must be at least 500 words, but there is no limit if you’d like to write more!

All authors must also include the total word count of their piece and a short summary.

Fics must be legibly formatted, i.e. not a block of text for the entire piece.

For Our Artists

Traditional art must be completed on an unlined surface with minimal remaining sketch lines. Color or grayscale is optional. Scanning is preferable when uploading your piece but at the very least needs to be clear and well-lit photo.

Digital art must minimally be in contrasted color or grayscale, and have finished line work.

Comics must have a minimum of two medium-large panels OR two small panels and one medium-large panel, with minimal remaining sketch lines. Color or grayscale is optional.

All artists must include their own accessibility image IDs.

There is no limit if you'd like to create more or explore stylization!

Once sign-ups end, we’ll send out assignments and you’ll have until December 31st to finish your piece and send it to the person you’re creating for. In turn, your writer or artist will post a piece for you also by the end of December! No one will know who is working on whose prompts until the works are published, because surprises are fun!

Use this link right here to complete your registration to this year’s exchange!

Please note that the registration is conducted via Google Forms. While we have turned all email requirements off, there’s still a chance it will autofill that information if you’re logged in. We’d definitely recommend filling out the survey using incognito mode just in case for that reason. Should any emails be submitted accidentally, they will not be utilized or released.

IF YOU ARE ANON: you still must include a tumblr url that we can contact you at. We promise we won’t give it out to anyone; we just will need a way to contact you over the course of the exchange!

We will send you a confirmation DM once your registration has been submitted, so if you don’t receive that, contact us! We want to make sure no one gets left out due to the survey eating submissions or something similarly dumb.

Registration closes at midnight PST on November 5th, so be sure to share with your knismobuddies!

The Fandom Registration will be sent out November 6th to be completed by midnight PST on November 12th.

Assignments will go out by approximately November 16th!

We hope you can join the event this year and have a blast! Until then, we’ll be waiting for you all to sign up!

#squealing santa #ss2k23 #tickle fic #tickle art #tickle community #tfb community #gift exchange #squealing santa 2k23 #2k23 bulletin board

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amindofstone · 3 years

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Match up, No. 10

Anon said:

Hello! I would like the match up please I would like to have a Male character and here are stuff about me!

The thing I do mostly is like to care for others and help others, I mostly get tricked on very easily do to my kindness which will cause me to sometimes get very fiesty which not very but maybe like “ please just stop talking your being to loud.” In a annoyed tone, which is very rarely, I tend to like very many hobbies and I don’t judge people base on first glance I see what on the inside and not what on the outside, a weakness I have is my disability but I never allow it to stop me from my true goal in life! And I practically tend to like doing some boyish stuff like archery! I get a lot of compliments on my archery skill because a lot of people say I have the patients and the accuracy very good! My dislikes are I hate real cocky people who think there all good and don’t take stuff for granted I also hate people who look down on weak person as not a human but a animal. I hate peoples who take kindness for granted and use it for a selfish gain.

I stand at about 5’0 exact! I have long brown hair that gets a lot of attention because some people always say to me “ I die to have your hair:” I’m just a tiny bit chubby and have big blue ocean eye that gets a lot of compliments and a lot of people wanting it to. I very much get the attention for how smart I am and how kind I am! I also get some hate from boys when I prove them wrong that girls aren’t weak and I won’t back down from a fight if it means protecting myself, people or just anyone. I like to have some affection it doesn’t have to be a lot maybe just even a hand on the shoulder is fine! I also very do like to wear some baggy clothes and I do like wearing like summer dresses that are knee high. I also tend to get very excited from the smallest things. A lot of people think I’m a loner but when it comes to babies I’m all for them! My cousin even said “ she likes to be alone into babies comes in the picture and she all for them!” 💕I love children and my parents even told me “ your definitely going to be the house wife.” I don’t know if that a compliment or not but I’m taking it😂✌🏻 sorry if I shared so many!

a/n:

Hello there! How are you? I really enjoyed reading all those things about you. Believe it or not but the part in which you said that although you have a disability it is not holding you back to follow your dreams, was impressive. It truly made happy. I have two cousins that have a disability and get me sad every time I see them. But seeing them happy and keep doing whatever they want makes me always so damn happy. You seem to be such a sweet human. Someone bright and jolly. Please never ever change. You are such a strong and great human. Keep that attitude and make sure that even when you end up as a housewife don´t let anyone push you around or take you presence and work for granted. This world really needs more good humans like you. I am so happy you requested. When you mentioned housewife I instantly thought of Hinata (Narutos wife) and then thought about myself who is more of a mixture of Ino and Temari. That thought really made me laugh. LMAO!! Anyways I really hope you will like with what I came up with. If there is anything that bothers you or you don´t like, please tell me so I can change it. Other than that enjoy the little story I came up with. Happy reading!

Match up rules can be found HERE.

Warning(s): Maybe grammatical or spelling mistakes since English is my third language and I´m still improving in every aspect (Please have mercy on that.)

!!! Please do not steal my idea or work. Credit me if this is shared or published in any other platform or any other way. Please respect me as the writer and my work. Picture is not mine. Credits to: @/SK,Martins (Can be seen in the pic) (found on the internet) !!!

· Well my dear anon. Like I mentioned before I think that you are a sweet and lovely human being. On top of that also simply adorable, fun and pure! Therefore I´d like to match you up with the future pirate king Monkey D. Luffy

· I think that you two would get along so well. So, SO WELL! Now hear me out!

· The way you two got to know each other might sound a bit of cliché but that’s simply how you meet. There was no princess in danger or a knight in a shinny armor but a clueless guy who wondered why a woman in a dress would walk around with arrows and a bow when they weren´t cupid. A simple human?! HA! Definitely not!

· Anyways that’s how everything started….

· The strawhats were docked on the island you were living in. At first they were anxious and didn´t want to leave their ship alone but when a worker at the harbor told them that the civilians on the island had cero problems with pirates as long as they didn´t do anything stupid or harm them. The whole crew got happy and started roaming around the island.

· Luffy being Luffy, screamed for food the moment his feet were on the island. And Zoro…. That guy yelled after him saying that if he gets to have food he wanted Sake. So, Luffy, Zoro and Ussop searched for a restaurant. Why Ussop you wonder? Well Nami send him with the boys because they otherwise would end up on the other side of the island. And Ussop compared to the captain and the first mate knew he had an actual brain and also knew how to use it.

· While the pirates were walking around the island you were helping out as a waitress in your uncles restaurant

· Everything went smooth. You served the people and had little chats with some of them. Some gave you too much tip and some other had you sitting with them and eat with them

· The people of the island knew you well. They knew you and loved you. Your uncle once even said that the only reason why his business was doing so well was because of you. The people never came for the food but rather for you. But you always denied it and told him that it was him and his food that was liked so much.

· Bu today there was something a bit different. A group of men you hated from the bottom of your heart came again. They were simply rude and egoistic. They were people from the wealthier part of the city, that was called royal neighbor. The reason why that neighborhood was called royal had nothing to do with the people that lived there. The only reason it was called royal was because it had a lot of wellness centers, hotels, casinos and parks. While this neighborhood, you were living in was given the name of idyll because of the beautiful nature. Landscapes that could have been painted and not to forget the dreamy beaches. But these group of young men simply didn´t understand that and thought of it differently. In a way that even the mayor couldn´t do anything else than just shook his head in embarrassment. But what could that poor man do. They weren´t doing anything against the law. They simply were annoying, stupid and egoistic.

· The group of young man, not older than 25, would always come once a week and have lunch in your uncles restaurant

· They entered the restaurant followed by three men you never saw on the island. At first you thought of them as sailors until you saw the green haired man carry three swords.

· You were in a dilemma. You didn´t knew if you should take care of the men that could have been pirates or the annoying group of disgusting men that always came. You gave your coworker a look and made sure he understood what you wanted. You were about to walk up to him and tell him to take care of the annoying group of men when you heard a plate breaking. You stopped in your tracks and instantly turned around.

· “This is our table. We always sit here. Now move you pathetic poor human.”, said Dean, the head of the group. You were mad. You were extremely mad and it took you so much energy and patience to not walk up to him and cut of his throat. But you calmed down and thought rationally. You took a deep breath and took your little notebook you used for writing down the guests orders when you heard a glass shatter right after Dean grabbed the customer at his collar and made him stand up. And this was exactly the moment you slammed you notebook and pen on the floor and yelled from the top of your lungs.

· “Watch out what you’re doing, you spoiled brat!”

· You stomped towards him and took a knife from a table on your way to him. “If you do not put him down in a bit and apologize, I swear to god I will make you regret waking up today and leaving your fucking bed!”, Dean knew you were no one to joke around with but his pride as a man kept pushing him. He chuckled and looked at you up and down while his friends that followed him like dogs laughed at your words.

· “Don´t make me start counting you pathetic version of a human.”, with furious eyes you looked up at Dean who still held the customer at his collar. “Look at that tiny girl trying to threaten…”, one of his friends was giving a comment but couldn´t finish his sentence because of you throwing the knife in your hand at him and cutting a bit of his ear and hair. You threw the knife with such a precise and strong grip that it ended up hitting the wall that was three meters behind him. “Watch out what you say because I don´t hesitate to drop the sweet girl attitude.”

· Dean looked at you with pure anger and let go of the man he was holding. He looked at his shocked friend and then back at you. “Today’s point goes to you. But the next time we come and this table is not free you will regret hurting him.”, said the angry man. “Listen here you little dumb spoiled creature. This table won´t be free for you. This is our table. Our property. You have no right to come and throw such a tantrum. And guess what, come again and I will be paying your parents a little visit and make them pay for everything you did. And I am sure that they won´t be pleased by your behavior since they are good friends with my parents and the mayor. Right? Now if I ever see you come here again I will make you pay. After today we will not accept your unacceptable behavior anymore. Now get the FCK OUT!!”

· After they left everything was silent for a few seconds but that change after your uncle started to clap and every person in the restaurant joined him. Your eye widened and your started to blush with a huge grin on your face. But that little moment of clapping didn´t last long. One of the pirates that entered the restaurant spoke up. “You did a good job but I AM HUNGRY!!!! Please FEED ME!”, you were confused. You didn´t know how to react and stood there like a statue.

· “Alright Sir. No worries. We will take your order in a few.”, said your uncle and approached you with a huge smile your notebook and pen. He pats your head with a proud smile. “You are such a brave and strong woman. I am so glad to have you in my family and I think it´s enough for today. Please take care of these men and then go rest: You deserve it.”, you nodded and smiled back to him. You pulled yourself together and made your way to the table of the pirates while your uncle left to take care of the broken glasses and the customer who had to deal with those stupid men.

· “Hello gentlemen. I apologize for making you wait I ….”, “No worries I actually enjoyed the show. You’ve got a good and precise eye. BUT NOW MY ORDER! Get me everything on the second site please.”, you absolutely didn´t knew how to react. You were looking at the talking man with a straw hat and then to his friends with big shook eyes. “I know what you thinking but he always eats that much and manages to stay alive. No worries. And getting to my order I´d like to have number 17 and 22 on the menu.”, said the one with a unusual long nose. “I take the same as him but with three bottles of your best sake.”

· You nodded with a disbelieving look on the face wondering if the first one is really going to eat all of the stuff. But you gave yourself a light slap and made your way to the kitchen only to be confronted with overwhelmed and surprised faces of the cooks. You shrugged with your shoulder and went to get the pirates drinks.

· While you went to get their drinks you saw that more people sat down next to the three pirates what made sense since the table they were sitting on was a huge one that usually only families took. Taking the drinks you served the three and greeted the new costumers. At the table sat a beautiful woman with black hair that complimented you for your adorable and genuine smile. With a blush you gave the others a menu too and took their orders

· Slowly with time passing all of their meals were served and you said your farewells and left the restaurant earlier then thought because your uncle said that he will take care of the rest. Thanking him you left and made your way to your archery lesson although it would have been way too early.

· Every time you came your sensei’s face would glow with pride. But the malicious person he is he would then drag you inside and introduce you to another challenge he came up with.

Time skip because ya author is lazy for the first time in a while now. *apologizes in trilingual

· It was late in the evening. You were on your way back home and thought why not take the route that would lead you to walk across the beach. You were having a good time alone. The sound of the waves that crashed on the cliffs and rocks were beautifully calming. The feeling of the sand under you feet were relaxing. With a smile upon your lips you were lost in your thoughts when the same guy with the straw hat you saw in the restaurant looked at you while blinking a few times before he asked you if you were Cupid the god of love like Sanji told him.

· With confusion taking over your mind you stopped in your tracks. Who on earth was he and that Sanji guy and why did he call me cupid? You wondered.

· And there you were looking at him with pure confusion while he looked at you with huge impressed and curious eyes for good 2 minutes until you shook your head and asked him who he and that Sanji were. He smiled at you and let himself fall down to sit cross- legged in front of you on the soft, warm sand. Now how do you think he introduced himself? Exactly my dear.

· “I am Monkey D. Luffy the future pirate King.”, “Huh?”, “And Sanji is one of my crew mates and the cook on my ship. Now tell me are you Cupid or not.”

· “Why would I be cupid?”, “Well you are wearing a pink white dress and you have a bow and arrows. So I thought that you might be on your way to shoot some people with them to make them fall in love. So, are you Cupid?”,

· “Alright first of all Cupid is a mythological creature made up by humans. He or she doesn´t exists. Secondly you really don´t look like a pirate nor do the others in your crew beside that one green haired man with the swords if he is also part of your crew. Thirdly you want to become the pirate king? Why?”

· And this my dear was how you two started a conversation that was to 50 % about him telling you stories of his adventures, 25 % basically about nonsense. And the other 25 % were… well that was about you telling him that you weren´t cupid but a actual human with the name f/n l/n. But he actually never got it. Until now.

· Eight years after your first encounter with the weird men called Monkey D. Luffy you still were busy telling him that you weren´t Cupid. But by now you not only had to tell him that but also your son who rather called you Cupid instead of mama.

· Congratulations you have two idiots in your life you love to the moon and back and would actually fight Garp for.

Bonus:

· “Does he really think that your Cupid or is that supposed to be something like a cute name?”, asked Dragon, the leader of the revolutionary army

· “I stopped thinking about that long ago, Sir. I really don´t know how to answer that. But just to make it clear if that confused you too. My name is y/n not Cupid.”, you told you father in Law with a sweet smile.

· “Wait. Cupid is not your name?! That brat introduced you to me as Monkey D. Cupid!”, Garp looked at you and Dragon with disbelieve.

· “If you ever wonder why you husband is so stupid just please now that, that stupidity comes from Garp. Not me. I swear.”

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mldrgrl · 4 years

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prompt: Mulder and Scully being competitive with each other over silly things - Jeopardy? solving the case before the end of an episode of some sort of forensic crime show? how many slices of pizza they can eat? a board game? etc.

Loved this one, Anon, thank you so much. And I was in the mood to whip up something humorous. Went to sleep last night thinking about it.

Half and Half

by: mldrgrl Rating: PG

“I’m dying to get out of this suit,” Scully says. “Give me ten minutes and then we can go through the report?”

“I’ll leave the connecting door unlocked,” Mulder says as they exit their rental car and head to the doors to their rooms. “Come over when you’re done and we’ll order in.”

She sighs in relief as she kicks off her heels at the door. She tosses her blazer to the side, unbuttons her shirt, and loosens her skirt. She clips her hair back, washes her face, and changes into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt.

File folders under her arm, she taps lightly on the connecting door before she pushes it open. Mulder is sitting at the edge of the bed, tie off and buttons undone at the neck. His shirtsleeves are rolled up and he’s yelling at the TV.

“What is Mork & Mindy!” he yells. “Mork and Mindy, you idiots. Everyone knows ‘nanu nanu.’”

“We were looking for, ‘What is Mork & Mindy?’” Alex Trebeck says.

“Obviously,” Mulder says. “How did you people even get on the show?”

“What are you doing?” Scully asks.

“Playing Jeopardy.”

“TV Catchphrases for $400, Alex.”

“Book ‘em, Danno.”

“What is Hawaii 5-0,” Mulder yells, just as Scully says, “Hawaii 5-0.”

Mulder makes the sound of a buzzer. “You have to answer in the form of a question, Scully, or it doesn’t count.”

“I still knew the answer.”

“You mean, the question.”

“Do you want to debate the semantics of Jeopardy or go over the reports?”

“Sure, sure.”

“Let’s try Shakespeare Who Said it? for $200.”

“Double double, toil and trouble.”

“Who are the witches?” Mulder answers.

“Who are the three witches of Macbeth,” Scully says at the same time.

“Who is Macbeth?” answers the first contestant to ring in.

“Oh, come on,” Scully says. “You can’t be that dumb.”

“Right?”

“Not quite what we’re looking for,” Alex answers. Finally, the second contestant answers correctly.

“Shakespeare Who Said It for $300.”

“I prithee daughter do not make me mad.”

“Baptista, maybe,” Mulder answers. “Who is Baptista?”

“No, who is King Lear?” Scully disagrees.

“Who is King Lear?”

“Who is, King Lear. Act 2, scene 4, referring to Goneril. And that will lead us to our first commercial break. More to come after these words from our sponsors.”

“I should’ve known that one,” Mulder says, scooting over to make room for Scully on the bed. “$600 to $500, I’m winning.”

“How do you figure that?”

“You lost Hawaii 5-0 to incorrect phrasing.”

“You didn’t establish the rules. $600 to $900, I’m winning.”

“I didn’t have to establish anything, those are the inherent rules of Jeopardy. Everybody knows that.”

“Mulder, I’m here to go over these reports,” Scully answers, holding up the file folders that have been tucked under her arm the whole time. She is still standing.

“How about a little wager?”

“On what?”

“Winner orders the pizza of their choice, loser pays.”

“Come on, Mulder.”

“You don’t think you can beat me?”

“No, I know I can beat you. I just want to get this review done so I can go to bed.”

“Scully, it’s 7 o’clock. The review can wait. Unless you’re just chicken.”

“Very mature.”

“Triple dog dare you?”

Scully held her hand out as though to shake Mulder’s. “We start with a clean slate going in from the commercial and we make our own wagers on Double Jeopardy questions.”

“I’ll keep score!” Mulder leaves Scully’s handshake hanging in the breeze and jumps up to grab the complimentary pad of paper and pen on the motel desk, which she snatches from him as soon as he comes back to sit down.

“I’ll keep score,” she says.

“You are the math geek.”

They sit through contestant bios and Alex Trebek’s vaguely sarcastic comments on the tidbits they’ve chosen to share with the audience. When the game starts back up again, there are two answers left in Shakespeare Who Said It? and every answer available in Civil War Nicknames, The Old West, and American Folklore.

Unsurprisingly, Mulder dominates the folklore category, but they tie for two answers. They both struggle with The Old West more than Civil War Nicknames, but the answers there are easier to decipher within the clues. Mulder is up $700 when the first Daily Double comes up in The Old West.

“$200,” Scully says. “I already don’t even want to know the answer.”

“$500,” Mulder answers.

“Suffering from tuberculosis and alcoholism, this dentist turned gunslinger died in a sanitarium at the age of 36.”

“Who is Doc Holliday,” Scully answers.

“Who is Bat Master..dammit!” Mulder replies just a beat behind her.

“You should’ve known that one.”

“It was the first thing that popped into my head. What’s the damage?”

“We’re tied.”

“All right, next round, it’s getting serious.”

“Prepare to pay for a large vegetarian with extra olives.”

“Ugh, vegetables on pizza is the antithesis to the point of pizza.”

“And what is the point of pizza?”

“All the pepperoni you can handle and then add in some sausage for good measure.”

“You’re a heart attack waiting to happen, Mulder. When was the last time you had your cholesterol checked?”

“In May, actually. Fit as a fiddle. Here we go, round 2.”

“...categories are: Before & After, Science, Word Origins, Potpourri, The Body Human, and finally, Astronomy. ”

The contestants seem fixated on Potpourri and Before & After, to Mulder’s relief. He isn’t ready for Scully to completely smoke him in the Science and The Body Human categories. He figures if he can do well enough in the first two, he might be able to hold firm and maybe they might get to Astronomy where he can make a comeback. Sure enough, she responds so quickly in the first two Science answers he can’t even get a word out.

“Born this year, a sheep named this introduced the world to cloning.”

“Dolly!” Mulder yells, too excited about knowing a Science question he forgets to phrase it properly.

“Who is Dolly,” Scully corrects.

“Dammit!”

“Your rules.”

“I know, I know. Still, dammit.”

Blessedly, the contestants leave Science and migrate to Astronomy and since the first answer is the planet nicknamed The Red Planet, a Jeopardy equivalent of low-hanging fruit, they stick with it. The first Daily Double of the 2nd round hits them at the $800 question in Astronomy.

“I’m up by $1,600,” Scully says. “You have $3,900.”

“I’m going to make it a true Daily Double.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes.”

“$600,” Scully says, after a few moments hesitation.

Mulder worries his bottom lip with his teeth and waits for the answer to come.

“This spiral galaxy is named for an Ethiopian princess in Greek Mythology.”

“What is Andromeda!” They both yell.

Mulder realizes he’s sweating after the last question and even though it paid off, he vows not to make that kind of gamble again. Scully berates herself for not being more confident in her astronomy knowledge as she now trails Mulder by $1,700, which may or may not be easy to recover from.

Time runs out before all the clues are revealed and the 2nd Daily Double is never found. By final Jeopardy, they’re nearly neck and neck, with Mulder at $9,100 and Scully at $8,500.

“The final category is: Computers.”

“Good thing The Gunmen aren’t here,” Mulder says. “Gimme one of those sheets of paper and we can write our wagers and guesses like the others.”

Scully rips off a piece of paper and they both take nearly all of the commercial break to come up with their wagers. Scully folds her paper in half with the wager face down. Mulder turns his over and places it on the bed.

“And here we go with the final answer. Born in 1815, this daughter of a famous poet published an algorithm for a mechanical calculator and is believed by some to be the first ever computer programmer.”

Mulder writes his answer immediately and Scully taps her pen against her teeth as the final Jeopardy music winds down. She finally picks up her paper and memorializes her guess before the final note.

“Whatcha got?” Mulder asks.

“I want to see their answers first,” Scully replies.

Mulder bounces his knee in anticipation. The contestant in 3rd place answers incorrectly with Dora Wordsworth, but only wagered $1.

“I hate when they do that,” Scully says. “It’s not The Price is Right.”

“Listen, if the category was Nuclear Physics, I might only be waging $1 as well.”

“Too bad it wasn’t.”

The contestant in 2nd place also answers incorrectly with “Who is ____?” and ends up with $4500. Mulder shakes his head.

“At least put something,” he says.

“Seriously,” Scully agrees.

“And now Judith, our three day champion, currently in the lead with $13,800. What did she guess? Who is Ada Lovelace? Daughter of Lord Byron, known for her work on Charles Babbage’s Analytical Engine, August Ada King, Countess of Lovelace, or Ada Lovelace. And how much did Judith wager? $7,000, bringing her three day total to $65,941.”

“Alright, Scully, moment of truth.”

“Count of three?” she asks.

“Is that one, two, reveal? Or one, two, three, reveal?”

“One, two, reveal.”

“Okay. One, two…”

They both turn their papers around. Both answered Who is Ada Lovelace? They both grin.

“Frohike would be so tickled with your familiarity with the mother of computer programming,” Mulder says.

“Yeah? How does he feel about your familiarity with her?”

“Pretty jealous, actually.”

“What was your wager?”

Mulder turns over the paper again to show her. “$3,000. You?”

Scully bites her lip a little and then flips the fold of her paper for Mulder to see. “$8,000.”

“$8,000!”

“Go big or go home, right?”

“Damn, Scully. You’re a monster. In a good way, obviously. But, damn. So, I guess that vegetarian is on me.”

“Extra olives.”

“With extra olives.” He grimaces and gets up to grab the Yellow Pages in the nightstand.

Scully opens up her file folders and begins sorting the reports for review across the end of Mulder’s bed as he searches for a pizza parlor. He’s on the phone fairly quickly after browsing the phone book.

“Yes, I’d like to place an order for delivery,” Mulder says. “A large. Vegetarian.”

“Half vegetarian,” Scully interrupts without looking up. “Half pepperoni and sausage.”

“Sorry, half vegetarian, half pepperoni and sausage. Extra olives on the vegetarian side, please. Yeah, I’ll hold.” Mulder drops the phone to his shoulder while hold music plays and smiles slightly. “Scully, you interested in a rematch tomorrow night?”

“Depends on how interested you are in buying another pizza.”

The End

#i wrote this #xf fanfic #humor #so competitive #Anonymous

139 notes · View notes

dwestfieldblog · 4 years

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THOSE WHO DO NOT WANT TO HEAR MUST FEEL

This temporary apocalypse could be seen as a globally overdue Long Night of the Soul, an initiation of sorts which might result in a deeper understanding of what actually matters for human evolution (despite the very best efforts of the scum who are trying to reverse any spiritual progress because it weakens their hold.) There are several ways in which the negative side could truly take over, starting with the horror nightmare prospect of DT (aka ‘Just Another Scumbag’ as Bannon once called him) re ‘elected’. The realistic pessimist in me is sure that if he wins, this planet in this dimension is finished. His winning will be a final signal to the world to give us up. In my lifetime, we have never been so close to the mass breakout of totalitarianism and utter lack of empathy than we are now. Actual fascist populists, not some wet Liberal bleating but the real thing, ready to go live. Covid has bankrupted hundreds of thousands of businesses, millions have lost their jobs, migration from the truly poor and dangerous countries continues...into the becoming poor and dangerous countries. Those who live there and are already ruined by the disasters in every home will be easy prey for the populists. Speaking of whom...

Steve Bannon has spent a great deal of time and other people’s money in setting up a network to overthrow the (arf arf arf) ‘deep state’ and replace it with... a new deeper state...still run by the rich, who will use the populists, who in turn will use the mass of the angry and frightened...etc etc...And power, as most people recognise it, will stay in the hands of the unhuman swine with the most gold and the least soul. WER NICHT HOREN WILL, MUSS FUHLEN...

‘...the human nervous system properly programmed, can edit and orchestrate all experience into any gestalt it wishes. We encounter the same dismal and depressing experiences over and over again because they are repeating tape loops in the central programmer of our brains. We can encounter ecstasy over and over by learning the neurosciences that orchestrate all in coming signals into ecstatic tape loops.’ R.A.Wilson. Prometheus Rising, Hilaritas Press.

It takes a lot of effort and Will to do this but what else is worth it other than to attempt to break out of the vicious cycle and evolve? Even I have managed this when I focus on choosing it. Giving up ingrained behavioural habits often hurts; this is, however, a choice. It doesn’t have to unless you are a masochist.

Flew to England for three weeks in August, full flight sold out, all of us wore masks (apart from one 6 foot 6 mad eyed American who kept pacing up and down the cabin.) Right up to the point where we were all given a bottle of water, some crisps and two biscuits...All masks off at the same time, all passengers attempting not to breathe while we drank and ate. Love seeing how many in both countries wear masks under their nose or even only on their chin. As Bill Hicks would say ‘Any questions why we’re f.....d up as a race?’ As Jonathan Pie does say; ‘Put a f...... mask on.’ I have been coughing since February, and drinking heavily, so not especially optimistic about getting C19.

I avoided almost all of the news while in UK, watched five minutes in total on the TV and only read headlines in the paper. It was enough. Since I have been back in Prague I have continued to avoid the news other than that which I am told by friends and students but I can tell from daily receiving over one hundred emails that things are truly breaking. Hexagram 23 and total Weltschmerz is upon us. Mental health is twisting up globally. One by one, all my friends are suffering serious damage, one way or another. Hearts are breaking apart and many damnable souls, who should be burning, are not. People are afraid to breathe or to embrace, looking to the very worst set of leaders in my lifetime for answers and being manipulated en masse to mass crises.

(Jaz Coleman....On the Day the Earth went Mad...watch the video, listen. Feel. Weep. Rage. Change.) QUI NOLERUNT AUDIRE DEBERE SENTIRE.

Love the interviews I saw with those who voted for Trump and realised they made a mistake...after FOUR YEARS. What clued them in? Which particular excremental atrocity of his foulness gave them the alert? Will the Electoral College let him ‘win’? Before I left, I saw the Trump interview where he said ‘It is what it is’, with regard to the massive number of deaths in the USA. ‘We are below the world’. Blood pressure rising, I even checked his Twitter account where he published two letters, one from the eternally unlovely NRA and the other from the American Police Federation, assuring him he was the best president to ever serve their interest and they would back him to the hilt. His plan to stir the US up into open civil war continues and Putin sits back and smiles. As does Jared it seems, the smug sadist advisor in the same style as (England’s off Broadway Trump) Boris’s Dominic Cummings. Herd Immunity? Well yes it might work at some point after a few years and millions dead. You evil alien bastards. The main individuals in the British Government will make millions from a no deal Brexit, perfect timing. The country will die.

The newest PC bullshit has got even the wonderful JK Rowling into trouble just for speaking her mind politely about transgender issues. I love PC... it is how dumb useless Liberals can act out their secret fascist impulses and feel hard of c..k and wet of p...y...feel good to be so righteous... same with overly ill humoured religious folk, but the PC tribe cannot use God to justify anything so they are a bit weaker...You morons... ‘People who menstruate’, People with a cervix’? PEOPLE? Really? Women is a bad word is it? Too specific? (Well it has the word men in it, so seems almost inclusive.) You bastards are annihilating language; raping semantics...get another hobby you ridiculous cretins. (Be sure the populists well understand how to manipulate such fools.)

Extinction Rebellion is being used (among a multitude of other groups in other countries, hello Black Lives Matter) by the Kremlin to stir up shite, they are mostly well meaning on the road to Hell. Stop being so dumb and stop helping those who are against you at home and abroad. Dogmatic faith leads to mistrust, violence and hatred, says the lone derranger...And as for the absurd Q Anon, it is those who seek a Deeper State who are using you to do it. Well done.

Jacob Blake, shot seven (count them) times in the back by police even though charged with no crime and paralysed was handcuffed to hospital bed. That goofy twat of a 17 yr boy who wanted to be a policeman, shooting at blacks because he believed he had carte blanc (arf) from Trump to defend his country against ‘terrorists’...he will probably escape much punishment because... he was bullied at school...WHO WASNT?? The only people who weren’t were bullied at home. Guns ‘open carry’ in various states as the NRA rejoice in what they encourage. ‘Your first amendment means I can say your second amendment sucks d...s’. JimJeffries. Damn straight. By the time even I was 17, I had grown out of wanting to kill half the world. Wannabe cops are a little slower.

Everything is the new normal. Too late for a mid life crisis unless I die at 108 but I never forget that statistically there is more chance of being killed by death than anything else. ‘Heres to my love! O true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.’ Walking... see three funeral services shops in the road leading to/away from the hospital, clever businessmen...walking...masks off, between two conveniently placed flower shops and smoking outside the fuming crematorium in black suits and highly polished shoes. Waiting. That’s us.

I MISS YOU MARLENE. I MISS YOU MARLENE. I MISS YOU MARLENE. Nice headline seen on US newspaper...‘Can any good from cyberstalking your online crush?’I wondered that after falling in fascination with a woman in Germany who wrote like a poet and wove a spell of stories to charm and beguile. I would have walked from London to Hamburg to see if she was real. Everyone expresses love and the need for it in different ways. Reprogramming a deeply imprinted circuit is usually uncomfortable and so it proved for both of us. We shall see...if there is time. ‘One of us is crazy and the other one’s insane’

I can remember one of the days I Changed (seven years old?) We had a history lesson and were told about English kings and their ‘Divine Right’ to rule. Because God told them. And they told the people. And the people believed them. I remember the light in the classroom, where I was sitting, the smell of the tables, old unused ink wells, pencil shavings... and just thinking whatever a child’s version of F..K OFF...THATS BULLSHIT ISNT IT? would have been. That was the first moment I started questioning the class system, gullibility and bastards. A couple of years later, the absolute freedom of being, sent to collect the class register, walking down the empty corridors and not in the classroom...a beautiful feeling of being OUTSIDE. Free. Two of many experiences which have never left me. (The Angel Choir, the Rituals, the EYE across the Multiverse dream, the Reconnection...) Even if Freedom turns out to be as much of an illusion as everything else, it is still as beautifully sensual to me as music.

One summer night in 1990 after my 3rd breakdown, I had a dream. I think. Bear (or even bare) with me on this, I know how this sounds but it is only reporting what I saw in my mind. Two Aliens, thin and shadow like, came though my open bedroom door in the night (I could see the silhouettes) and one took a long shiny silver needle like a hypodermic for a horse and stood behind me and pushed the needle in through the top and centre of my skull, penetrating my brain. I FELT it slowly being pushed in, it hurt but I was paralysed. There was no voice but I heard (try not to laugh) ‘So now you have Superintelligence’. They moved out, the door closed, I slept. As usual with me, I remember every single dream I have ever remembered as if they were films I have watched over and over...and after a dream, the atmosphere stays with me for 23 whores. Later that day, I picked a big hardback book to find some info on something (A Cyclopaedia) with pages as thin as a bible. I sat almost motionless and without food for eight hours, DEVOURING every subject in it. Economics, geometry, geopolitical events, medicine, beliefs, systems.....the next day I finished ninety percent of it and went on to read books by five philosophers from second hand shops, started watching insects, stopped swearing, worked out, and read and read and read. All the knowledge I hadn’t cared about in school and college I picked up that one summer. It led to making new friends, new possibilities, new work, new love and led me to fly to Prague in this sequence while continuing to practice many ‘New age’ techniques by a writer called Stuart Wilde. They all worked and I continued...with regular fallings and breakthroughs.

‘Religion was invented when the first scoundrel met the first fool’. Faith is believing what you know not be true’. The seeker finds a belief and stops thinking for themselves...‘Every ideology is a mental murder, a reduction of dynamic living processes to static classifications, and every classification is a Damnation, just as every inclusion is an exclusion.’RAW

I had a four hour conversation with a Christian bloke, thirty, intelligent, believes in Satan as an actual being with horns. Etc. He couldn’t quite see any flaw in saying that any prophet who saw angels, white light and heard the voice of God, healed, etc but was not actually Christ, was only being tempted and used by the devil. He told me to watch the beautiful side of evil...

‘Every act of authority is, in fact, an invasion of the psychic and physical territory of another’. Human progress ‘is the concrete manifestation of some person’s refusal to bow to Authority.’

‘WE GOT ELECTED ON DRAIN THE SWAMP, LOCK HER UP, BUILD THE WALL. THIS WAS PURE ANGER. ANGER AND FEAR IS WHAT GETS PEOPLE TO THE POLLS. THE DEMOCRATS DON'T MATTER, THE REAL OPPOSITION IS THE MEDIA, and the way to deal with them is to flood the zone with shit.’ Said Bannon, who also said. ‘Darkness is good. Dick Cheney. Darth Vader. Satan. Thats power.’ Has he met Putin yet? Is he also on speed dial along with Boris and Trump? People! Create better leaders. NOW.

Happy birthday Aleister Crowley on the 12th October and Happy Halloween to all readers, stay healthy and sane (arf) Remember you are magick...buy the re-release of Musick to Play in the Dark by COIL and become moonlight... And those in America, if you actually do truly believe in a good God...go and vote and remove that evil ego and his cohorts in the White House with absolute overwhelming victory or we are done in this lifetime. Be healthy.

LOVE!!!

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yourbestmasks · 7 years

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i request ryuji, akira and mishima s/o is very talented at something(think about pianist or something that deals with their on Image) is looked down because the s/o is male and is dating one of them(a deliquent,or a criminal, or a no one) and sometime there are rumour about that their boyfriends(the one i I mentioned are just dating them for famous, or that they are Threatening them) i want hc about how they would deal with this, bonus if when they are alone the s/o just hug them and say sorry.)

I hope I did your request must Justice Anon, Here you go! - Talal.

Akira:

It was no surprise that Akira managed to grab the attention of a famous S/O, And even get in a relationship with them.

Even more so when it turns out he’s a pianist, He had watched and attended many of his shows.

But of course, S/O was too good to come for free.

Akira had to pay a price, but so did S/O. because even Akira’s too good to come for free.

S/O had to deal with constant rumors and the never-ending haters, in fact, they seemed to increase in number.

Whenever S/O is walking to a show with Akira, or even when they’re just being together; they could hear ranting and complaining in the background. occasionally, an assault.

“Can you believe S/O started dating a criminal?”

“Isn’t that so dumb? why would he ruin his career?”.

“It’s over for him, look at all this hate online!”

“Do you think S/O’s a criminal too?”

“Maybe the criminal is threatening him? quick, call the police!”

Accusations and straight-up resentment followed these two everywhere they went.

Not only that, but some producers and companies neglected S/O because of this choice. they don’t want the stigma to stick on them as well.

S/O would cry repeatedly near Akira, he’ll hug him and comfort him, he’s the only person who can see his weak side.

Akira started suspecting the fact of his coming in his life; Was it really a good thing? Or was he the one responsible for ruining his future?

It’s been a long time since S/O has cried, and it seems like they’re really happy now.

But after a few months, S/O breaks down when they’re alone.

He was tricked by his acting, he gave Akira a hug and let out all the tears he’s been holding back. Akira was drenched in tears.

He tried comforting him, and he quietly asked S/O:

“Do you want me to leave your life?” He wanted him to be honest.

S/O kept crying and strictly said no.

“You’re the best thing that happened to me… I’m crying because you had to deal with all this bullshit.”

Akira was surprised, his tears were tears of empathy for him, not his weakness.

He wrapped his arms around him tightly.

“I’ll never leave you, I’ll always be by your side.”

Ryuji:

Ryuji could not believe he landed himself a lover, he never thought he’d be in a relationship ever.

Not to mention, a famous person? He’ll always be grateful.

He didn’t love him for the money, or the fame. He genuinely fell for their personality. heck, he doesn’t even care about these things.

He’d always question the fact if he actually deserves him or not, and that Idea pushes him towards becoming a better person.

He’ll hug him and carry him bridal-style in public, he doesn’t really care.

Until a certain incident happened.

On a certain show, a fan has violated the rules and attacked S/O.

Ryuji was backstage, when he saw what was happening, he immediately interfered.

He hit the fan and pushed them away, people took their cameras out and got video footage/pictures.

“LMAO me trying to protect my crush xD”

“When your favorite concert turns into a street-fighting gang.”

“I can’t believe my favorite celeb is GAY????”

And a lot of articles were published.

“Fan violates their Idol, Boyfriend interferes”.

“The true nature of S/O’s sexuality.”

All these brought S/O’s career down to the earth, he wasn’t ashamed of being Gay, just the way people figured it out was a bit unsatisfactory.

Most of all, S/O was afraid he harmed Ryuji’s life in some way.

At school, Ryuji would receive many hateful comments.

“Even outside of school you cause trouble, You’re such a delinquent and that won’t change.”

“I bet you dated S/O just so you can beg for money and fix your leg.”

The teachers despised Ryuji even more, the school considered expelling him for the sake of their reputation.

He finally went to S/O, and he apologized for the course of action he took.

“Listen… I don’t wanna ruin your career. It doesn’t feel good Y’know?”

“Plus, who would want to date a delinquent like me.” His face would frown and his eyes would tear up.

That’s when S/O gave him a tight hug, and he let some tears out at that moment.

“I love you Ryuji, and nothing can change that fact, even my career.”

Mishima:

After running the Phan-site and seeing how strong the Phantom Thieves are, he wanted to change.

So he pursued love, and oh boy did he find some.

S/O was the best partner, he accepted Mishima as he is and he gave him all the love he needed.

He couldn’t help but feel like he’s dreaming when he’s with him.

He’d be really supportive for S/O, but deep down; he actually feels like a nobody whenever he sees him perform.

A lot of people were commenting on the pictures they took together.

“Who the fuck is that?”

“Looks like a nerd with no life.”

“Lmao, gays.”

It didn’t bother S/O much, but it did bother Mishima.

He was already self-conscious before any of this happened, now he has to deal with the Phantom Thieves hate and the hate directed at him.

Soon enough, the hate shifted onto S/O.

They were judged by people, and they couldn’t be left alone.

Mishima was quick to take action, he truly felt like no-one with S/O and he didn’t want the stigma to carry on to him.

He sat with him and they talked for a bit, before Mishima started talking about the subject.

“I don’t feel I deserve you S/O, I was a nobody and I’ll always be a nobody.”

He wanted a reason to feel strong, a reason to feel like he mattered. but he couldn’t see it without the help of S/O.

“You’re everything to me, and being famous doesn’t mean obligating to what the media says. It just means people have their eyes on you. and if they don’t like it they can look away.” S/O said before planting a deep kiss on Mishima’s lips. while hugging him at the same time.

Mishima was as solid as a rock right now, even after breaking he couldn’t believe what just happened.

#p5 #p5 headcanons #persona 5 #persona 5 headcanons #akira kurusu #akira x s/o #ryuji sakamoto #ryuji x s/o #Yuki mishima #mishima x s/o #male s/o #famous s/o #rumors

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