podmusical

[podmusical]

THE END.

[podmusical]

In the vast emptiness of space, THE SORTER speaks… This week on the Fall of the House of Sunshine’s FINAL EPISODE EVER:  Epidendum: A Sort of Ending!

[podmusical]

The Brain at the End of the Universe

Credits and Lyrics for Episode 12 of Our Dumb Universe

starring:

Announcer - James B Kennedy Y Ship - Amy Sheehan The Sleepy One - Haley Bowery Pangla - Melissa Lusk Dankent - Nathaniel Kent Bloor - Carl Howell Sondra - Lauren Lim Jackson Tinga - Emma Galvin Huphalumpagus - Rachel Flynn Feltina - Christina Pumariega Fuzzo - Jared Loftin Brushee - Matt roi Berger written by Jonathan A. Goldberg

music by Matt roi Berger recorded, mixed and edited by Martin Fowler

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2190 DAYS, PT 1

                                THE SLEEPY ONE

As they slipped to hyperspace They gripped their chairs and made a face Caught between a smile and a sneer

Pangla thought about her bro The others noticed, but none spoke Caught as they were in their own thoughts and fears Slowly over several days They explored the ship and picked roommates Preparing for the six year trek ahead The tension eased to boredom soon Bloor dreamt of building a canoe And Sondra made upgrades and checked the instruments And Pangla brightened too in time Regained her smile a bit Singing softly to herself No one could tell The words for sure But thought it sounded But thought it sounded Something like Fuzzsticks Well she and Dankent threw parades Invented their own holidays Exchanging bits of tubing and some socks And pretty soon, yeah pretty fast They looked up and one year had passed And wondered softly where the time had gone... __/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/ 2190 DAYS, PT 2                                 THE SLEEPY ONE There’s something to a year in space Keeping sane in a small place Takes keeping busy, keeping on the move Dankent’s play runs sev'ral months Wins an award Pangla made up And Bloor never does get to his canoe The Y-ship springs a coolant leak Sondra gives a peak Under the hood, sees what she can do Pangla continues to brush and floss And thinks of those she’s loved and lost And barely knew __/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/ 2190 DAYS, PT 3                                THE SLEEPY ONE Pangla invents a board game and soon Game night’s every Friday 8-2 They all have dreams about the Ur Brain And Bloor finally begins to make his canoe Ah-oooo Dankent thinks about his lives Thinks about his place in time His play gets a revival, reviews are mixed Sondra and Y-Ship go public with Their feelings and relationship They get angry, break up, for a bit So much of what once was fades away And in it’s place, what fades gives way To a loving, simple, quaint year 3 in space. __/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/ 2190 DAYS, PT 4                               THE SLEEPY ONE Well four years is a very long time Four years is a very very very long time Pangla and Bloor take up parkour And Sondra teaches Dankent to knit They make a new hat for Dankent And crocheted pads for Pangla’s new crutches Sondra starts a handball league The days roll on with seemingly no end __/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/ 2190 DAYS, PT 5                              THE SLEEPY ONE Year 5, Pangla starts to jog Dankent starts to miss his job And one night someone burns down Bloor’s canoe Dankent’s on the case for months Til he finds some matches in Bloor’s bunk Who did it so Dankent’d have something to do __/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/ 2190 DAYS, PT 6                             THE SLEEPY ONE Dankent can’t sleep, dreams of Berdie Dreams of Valborg too Once their mem’ries hurt and burned him Now he struggles to picture them Days like layers, dirt displaces, their Faces blurred to him But when he thinks of all they gave him There he finds the hurt, fresh and waiting Oooo Y-ship scrapbooks photos of the sites Dankent and Pangla have a fight Draw a chalk line to divide the ship in two They don’t talk for a whole month Before coming clean as they make up That they were jealous of the others’ new dance moves In the annual handball tournament Y-Ship wins the championship Narrowly defeating the favored Bloor Each night they gather at family meal And laugh and cry and hurt and heal And question, just what it is they have in store Two thousand one hundred and eighty nine days pass Six years of waiting, forgetting, forgiving Of wondering and living, And then suddenly, a last day here at last Bloor makes breakfast, Sondra checks lists Y-Ship scans ahead Dankent and Pangla play some games, all Wait and wonder, are they at the end? __/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/ WELCOME TO THE UR-BRAIN MEMORIAL                           TINGA Welcome to the Ur-Brain Memorial! We’re donation based, so don’t be cheap. Here take a brochure! The bathroom’s on this floor! And the cafe’s by the viewing balcony! The collection on display’s authoritarial! If it’s Ur-Brain related it’s on site Many of the displays are interactive and explain The Ur-Brain’s sway o’er all matter and life! The Ur-Brain was revered They served for countless years They organized and guided all from here! But now they’re dead! So! Welcome to the Ur-Brain Memorial! We can host private events, just ask for dates. Our facilities are clean - the sculpture garden is serene! There was a wedding and reception there, just the other day! Enjoy the exhibits We hope your visit’s Enlightening to you Just exit through the gift shop when you’re through. __/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/ WHATEVER WE WANT                            VALBORG Whatever we want What more could we want Then to be alive the same time as each other                           Y-SHIP Whatever we choose Is what we will do Is where we will go                           PANGLA and BLOOR Is what we will know                           SONDRA Is who we will love                           VALBORG Is this all there really is? Where’s the cosmic sense in it? Our only due, is what I owe to you       BLOOR             SONDRA, PANGLA, VALBORG Whatever we are    /  I’m kinda scared about it s’Whatever we are    /   No guide to help us out No destiny or prophecy to say      Y-SHIP               SONDRA, PANGLA, VALBORG Whatever we want     /    No purpose meant for me Is ours tip we’re gone   /   No victory guaranteed A galaxy of possibilities each day                           SONDRA and PANGLA We are never truly done                           BLOOR and VALBORG Only something that’s begun                           ALL Made of pieces of the people that we’ve loved And somedays There will be sunshine There will be dark skies On other days And some days There will be color And on the others There will be gray And whatever comes our way The family we’ve made Will weather it together all the way                           VALBORG Whatever we choose                           PANGLA Well, I’m choosing YOU                           VALBORG and PANGLA To find the sunshine and share it when we do.

[podmusical]

(The Fall of the House of Sunshine) Previously on Our Dumb Universe. Fuzzo sacrificed himself so that Sondra, Pangla, Bloor, and Dankent could escape on the Fartknocker which now has the spirit of Prof Y inside of it. They’re heading to the Ur-Brain at the center of the Universe to bring back Earth and fix what has gone wrong. Will they achieve this goal? What is to be done? By you? Listen to this – the final episode – episode 12: The Brain at the End of the Universe.

[podmusical]

Fuzzo is gone! The Null neutralized. Our heroes head to the Ur- Brain! But it’s a long trip! What will they find there? Can they save the earth? Find out next time on the series finale The Fall of the House of Sunshine - Our Dumb Universe Episode 12: The Brain at the End of the Universe!

[podmusical]

Father Nulls Best

Credits and Lyrics for Episode 11 of Our Dumb Universe

starring:

Announcer - James B Kennedy Kvold - Happy Anderson Fuzzo - Jared Loftin Pangla - Melissa Lusk Sondra - Lauren Lim Jackson Bloor - Carl Howell Dankent - Nathaniel Kent Y Ship - Amy Sheehan Commander - Megan Flower Laymen - Themself written by Jonathan A. Goldberg

music by Matt roi Berger recorded, mixed and edited by Martin Fowler

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DANKENT’S SONG

                                 DANKENT

I ain’t the product of the gook inside my bones I ain’t your babe just cuz spored into the unknown My null is voided, you’re not nobody, you don’t count So take a hike pops, you ain’t even worth an ounce! Wait a minute, what’s this coming out my mouth? Never sung nothing before but now I guess I’m singing out! Well let me sing yah ‘zactly what’s I’ve on my mind Cuz it’s been boiling up there for some time You missed on Your long con So piss off I ain’t your son, bum! Take a long walk Off a short dock You can suck my balls! I voluntarily disinherit me, you, as a parent, I reject Already got myself a family, and one that doesn’t make me sick I guess Sondra’s like my mom, and maybe Pangla’s my kid sis Bloor’s like a weird uncle and there’s Fuzzo too I guess. Look I ain’t much, but to them I guess I count So let’s hit the chorus and really spell it out: You missed on This long con So piss off and Kiss my chops, Pops! Go blast off, you jag off You can suck my balls! Man I love sining! Who knew it was so easy! Honestly it’s freaky: Just breath and feel deeply And tell your dad to eat a butt!   Yeah! It’s kinda laughable how bad you screwed this up Your so bad my actual dad looks better just because Sp take your war crimes and shove them in your bum This singing detective ain’t your son! No I ain’t much, but all I am’s not thanks to you Not that you’d understand what friends can do No, You missed on This long con So lift off, Get your hot air long gone I got my friends You ain’t like them You ain’t worth the breath To tell you off Pops No-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! You don’t matter to me! I was fine long ‘Fore you came long You can suck my balls! You can suck my balls! You can suck my balls! __/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/ Y-SHIP IS A FLY SHIP                                  Y SHIP

Guess who’s back? Y is here! New ship, who dis? Check my brand new gear Hate to brag But my hull is fine And I’m gonna haul When these thrusters fire Back from the dead and ready to let loose Gonna blast some plasma, from my cute caboose! Y-Ship is gonna sail the stars When do we depart? Wanna test these parts! Y-Ship is gonna blow your mind Fastest ship designed Best you’ll ever find, see: The Y-ship is a fly ship, no denying No run of the mill supply ship, bitch is styling Unparalleled design and a leather interior The criterion, the limit, other ships are inferior - Hear me: Stand back, cuz this ship slaps, catching no flack Cuz in a whip crack I’m there, back yeah yeah Blink and you miss - this hip ship’s like a kiss On the lips of a hyper stellar star fairing miss, goddess Technology pushed to its furthest The universe harnessed and strapped to my rockets Speed of light in first gear, I’m honestly yawning Replicating food and fuel and rates almost alarming My sensors are the sharpest, displays are the largest Ever conceived or hypothesized, or possible, honest! And at the heart of this star ship’s the modest and charming Smartest damn bitch in this galaxy’s quadrant, come on! Y-Ship is gonna travel space Take us to the brain Save the human race Y-Ship’ll do it all in style Come on take a ride Dummy get inside me! There was a time I was a finger, so alone No body of my own to call my own, so dark and cold Next thing I know, I’m returned and so much more From death life sparks fresher than before! The Y-Ship is a fly ship can’t deny ship Got a new lease on life ship, ship is priceless Nothing gonna stop her, gonna bother or block her Back to the top, to the center of the galaxy, hop on! This star ship is a hard ship, gonna star in The story of her glory, locked and ready to depart in 3 2 1 blast off and ascend To the ends of the galaxy and do it again! The Y-Ship is a fly ship can’t deny ship Got a new lease on life ship, ship is priceless Nothing gonna stop her, gonna bother or block her Back to the top, to the center of the galaxy, hop on! This star ship is a hard ship, gonna star in The story of her glory, locked and ready to depart in 3 2 1 blast off and ascend To the ends of the galaxy and do it again! The Y-Ship is a fly ship can’t deny ship Got a new lease on life ship, ship is priceless 3 2 1 blast off and ascend To the ends of the galaxy and do it again! __/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/ SPECIAL DELIVERY                                      FUZZO

Why am I not scared to die? I’ve thought of this a thousand times And stayed my hands to stay and stand abuse I’ve reason new more than before To fight for life, to shut this door My friends, my sister, all the joy, in truth Once my father preached a toothy plan He promised greater life for man And in this scope I searched for hope - no use Disappointment was my guide I met her then, she’s stayed my life Laughing for she knows more than I do But why now is my soul at peace? Her voice is finally gone from me? I want to live now, peacefully, subdued The sea inside me free from waves That made me sick for all my days And crushed and shamed and raged my whole life through I changed the world, I made it bow A monstrous of feat my self doubt No heaven waits for me if heaven’s true My father’s gone, my mom, my throne The cancers that consumed my soul I’m free of them, my fate is mine to choose! Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah! I wanna live, I wanna feel my sister’s hug around me! I wanna know a life that’s free of hatred, free of doubting me! I wanna see! I want to make up for the time I’ve wasted sad and fearful How do I make up for the pain I’ve laid on those that care for me? I think now I see... Oward into the breech! Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah! Oh, I’m not alone, am I... you’re here with me too?                             BRUSHEE We’re all together in the end                              PANGLA We stand with you our bro, our friend                              FUZZO I feel you now, I know what I must do I know now why my soul’s at peace Before, my death was just for me To save me from some awful aching truth But now I die so I may live My friends, they will remember it Because they live, because I got them through The universe is more than me But I am part of it, the we I’ll die for that, for it’s the life I choose! Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!

[podmusical]

(The Fall of the House of Sunshine)

Previously on Our Dumb Universe – Dankent, Pangla, Fuzzo, Sondra, and Bloor have made it to the Null Treasure ship the location of the Fartknocker the fastest craft in the universe! Velmach Kvold just made a deal to -- really it’s a lot. If this is your first episode it’s ... you shouldn’t be jumping in here. Go back and start at the beginning. Really. No? Oh well. Fine. What is to be done? By you listen! To this! The next episode – Episode 11: Father Nulls Best...

[podmusical]

Oh my goodness! Will Dankent really go with Velmach Kvold? Can our heroes stop it? Find out next time on Our Dumb Universe Episode 11: Father Nulls Best!

[podmusical]

The Null Morpheme

Credits and Lyrics for Episode 10 of Our Dumb Universe starring:

Announcer - James B Kennedy Dankent - Nathaniel Kent Kvold - Happy Anderson Pangla - Melissa Lusk Sondra - Lauren Lim Jackson Valborg - Emily Gardner Xu Hall Fuzzo - Jared Loftin The Sleepy One - Haley Bowery Bloor - Carl Howell written by Jonathan A. Goldberg music by Matt roi Berger recorded, mixed and edited by Martin Fowler __/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/

SPEAR FIGHT EXPLOSION                                   ETHEREAL BAND BEING

Eye meets eye All is quiet Tension’s high, no one moves... then in a Crash and swipe Flash of light, they Smash and slice, and they’re locked in to a Spear fight explosion, it’s on! Til one’s left broken, it’s on! Valborg gives Swipes and trips Kvold is hit and she stab stab stab stabs! At his head But he bends Sweeps her legs, but she jump flips back Spear fight explosion, All blur’s in motion, it’s on! Searching for an opening, Worth exposing, it’s on! Circling - sizing up each other Kvold swings in - Valborg gives a counter But as she spins - Kvold is swinging downward Catches her ribs - Valborg gives a shout out:                                  ETHEREAL BAND BEING AND VALBORG A-a-a-a-a-i! A-a-a-a-a-i!                                  ETHEREAL BAND BEING Kvold is on the go, not missing an instant Peppers her with blows, Valborg on defense and He’s laughing cuz he knows, Valborg must be thinking                                   VALBORG Is this how I go?  The end of my existence?                                 ETHEREAL BAND BEING A-a-a-a-a-i! A-a-a-a-a-i!                                  VALBORG No! I I I I I am a warrior! I I I I I am a warrior!                                   ETHEREAL BAND BEING Valborg spins on her feet She leaps, she’s in the air Into his face a crashing knee Catches her foe quite unaware Her spirit is stirred, her motions are blurred, Kvold’s looking worried and pounded His eyes are swole, can barely cope, she’s in control and shouting                                 VALBORG I I I I I am a warrior! I I I I I am a warrior! __/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/

UGGGH

What is Ugggh but a feeling, That we’re feeling deep inside From the first breath we are breathing Thru the last before we die What is Ugggh but what we’re seeking Every moment we’re alive: Yes it’s Ugggh, yes it’s Ugggh, yes it’s Ugggh What is Ugggh but a mission You pursue with all your might With every set back ammunition For your heart, your solum your fight Yes, Ugggh’s the definition Of the pain that stokes the fire And she was, oh yes she was, she was Ugggh Oh she was Uggh! Hard like a stone Warm like a fire He life her own And tho I miss her Inside I know She’ll Ugggh forever Our hearts her home And now she’s free to wander To leave her pain behind To seek out in the yonder What she’s searched so hard to find With the space wind in her hair And the wisdom that is Ugggh Gonna go on home to Greenland Be back with the ones she loved And tho she’s gone she’s living on In every on of us with all her Ugggh... What is Ugggh but an empty When you’re mourning deep inside A hole you’ve no hope for mending Where your friend once did reside Cept “Ugggh” what’s there to say To remember, to inspire She was Ugggh, She was Ugggh, She was Ugggh Oh yes she was, she was Uggh, she was ugggh Yes she was Ugggh! And we are Ugggh! Now and forever Cuz what she’s done And she will be with us In those we love And she was love... Yes she was Ugggh. __/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/ TREASURE MADNESS

                             SONDRA Deep in the belly of a treasure ship Jade vases, laser rays, but just one pick Palms wet, brow sweat, I’m feeling sick, oh no!                              FUZZO Gold crowns, silk gowns, platinum pearls The highest valued treasures from a million worlds Calling my name, think I’m gonna hurl!  Oh no!                             ALL Want it! Oh you really want it! Oh you really want it! Oh you really want it!                              PANGLA Priceless tridents, Diamonds the size of islands Feats of science - Fire breathing laser lions! Eyes are widening, fantasize what’s mi-e-ii-e-ii-e-iiine                             FUZZO Jewels, gems, a giant bone Riches, countless, unknown All that glitters, take it home with me!                             ALL Want it! Oh I really want it! Oh I really want it! Oh I really want it! Treasure madness has got us gasping at all we could ever want!                              SONDRA Loads of gadgets!                              FUZZO An emerald casket!                             PANGLA A bottomless croissant!                             SONDRA Jet packs!                             FUZZO Tapestries!                             PANGLA Eggsacks full of children’s dreams!                               ALL A score with choice galore! Skin’s gone hot and my eyes gone green Gimme more, gimme more, gimme more more more more more!                              SONDRA Something isn’t right here, something tells me Something’s got us blinded, isn’t healthy Something that is quite near, we’re forgetting Something that is right here, with all of this shiney- NO! [Stack three parts:] 1. FUZZO Jewels, gems, a giant bone Riches, countless, unknown All that glitters, take it home with me! 2. PANGLA Priceless tridents, Diamonds the size of islands Feats of science - Fire breathing laser lions! Eyes are widening, fantasize what’s mi-e-ii-e-ii-e-iiine 3. SONDRA Something isn’t right here, something tells me Something’s got us blinded, isn’t healthy Something that is quite near, we’re forgetting Something that is right here, NO NO NO NO! Treasure madness has grasping at all we could ever want But what we need is clarity and CALM To focus on... Guys, why are we here?                             FUZZO Diamonds!                           PANGLA Bottomless Croissant!                            BLOOR Bloor!                           DANKENT Vases!                           SONDRA No!  I mean, not what do we want from here - what are we looking for?  Why did we come this far?  What do we NEED?                           FUZZO Home                           PANGLA Family                           BLOOR Bloor                           DANKENT Vases?                           SONDRA Yes! Except for Dankent. That’s right! Remember what we came here for: to save all we hold dear And we need a ship to take us far from here! __/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/ THAT DARN DANKENT Dankent is a real cool dude! Sure Who’s covered in some mites and fleas... But we love him from his greasy face Right down to his advanced Undiagnosed liver disease! Cuz that’s our stinky Dankent! We love our stinky Dankent! Sells like he’s begun to ferment! His health is on the descent! He is not well, but well is what he means And so he is a friend to me Sure he’s unremarkable, his hope to help is farcical And most of this is all his fault But he’s the straight male lead that all of us agree We real could’t do with, well, maybe couldn’t do without! Cuz he’s our stinky Dankent! His flatulence is frequent! Not very intelligent! But gentle, loving, well-meant Bad at his job, but he tries, at least half the time As a detective, defective, and should be fired Has trouble breathing, just standing, it’s kinda wild He is not well, but well is what he means And so he is a friend to me!

[podmusical]

(The Fall of the House of Sunshine)

Previously on Our Dumb Universe. Our group of heroes headed into the evil Null Empire to steal the fastest spaceship in the universe - the Fartknocker - so they could reach the Ur-Brain and fix the broken earth. They met with Velmach Kvold leader of the Null. But then he revealed a starting truth: He’s Dankent’s dad! What is to be done! By you? Listen! To this: the next episode – episode 10: The Null Morpheme!

[podmusical]

Holy hotdog in a bun hole! Dankent is Velmach Kvold’s son! What does this mean? How can this mean? Is he mean? Will he sell out his earth friends? Can Kvold even be stopped? Find out next time on Our Dumb Universe: Episode 10: The Null Morpheme.

[podmusical]

A Sort of Love

Credits and Lyrics for Addendum 3 of Our Dumb Universe

starring:

Sorter - Alanna Saunders Announcer - James B Kennedy Bong - Emma Galvin Beep - Kerry Ipema Huphalumpagus - Rachel Flynn Feltina - Christina Pumariega written by Jonathan A. Goldberg music by Matt roi Berger

recorded, mixed and edited by Martin Fowler

__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/

FLUFF AND FOLD MEDLEY                                HUPHELUMPUGUS 

Fuzz fuzz my love Off into adventure I guess our time together’s at an end

                              FELTINA Fuzz fuzz my love I’m scared I think I blew it I’d give anything to do it all again                          HUPHELUMPHAGUS No, Hold my hand Just hold my hand Hold my hand And we’ll face the end Though we’ve no face to face it with Cuz you try the best you can Yeah you try the best you can And I’ve loved the best I ever could have loved                              FELTINA Fuzz fuzz my love My heart it would be breaking If my heart were in my ankle, it would ache                          HUPHELUMPHAGUS Fuzz fuzz my love Though we’ve no second chances I can’t think of any changes I would make Cuz you try the best you can Stay alive the best you can And then you die the best you can Like here together, foot in hand Yes, hold my hand Just you hold my hand Hold my hand And we’ll face the light Just as we’ve faced all - side by side... Plush love That’s you Your heart Beats true And you give And you live With Plush Love You gave Yourself To save My felt And you paid What you paid With Plush Love                             FELTINA We’re a bit worse for the wear Our threads are thin and frayed, it’s true                          HUPHELUMPHAGUS And though we go, I know not where I know I’m not afraid - I’m with you                            FELTINA Fuzz fuzz my love I always did unravel with you near Fuzz fuzz my love So there’s nowhere that I’d rather be than here Fuzz fuzz my love If we were still whole and full today Fuzz fuzz my love What would you say? What would you say?                          HUPHELUMPHAGUS I’d say get over here you big old foot                           FELTINA Are you telling me to... heel?                         HUPHELUMPHAGUS I could slap you for that                           FELTINA Yeah, and not much else                        HUPHELUMPHAGUS Oh, you want to see what this hand can do? Hold my hand Hold my hand                       HUPHELUMPHAGUS / FELTINA Hold my hand                         Fuzz fuzz my love, it’s off into adventure Hold my hand                         It’s you and I together till the end Hold my hand                         Fuzz fuzz my love, there are no second chances Hold my hand                         But I would make no changes to our plans                          BOTH Because you try the best you can Yes you try the best you can Feel alive the best you can Align your life with your best friend And yes you die the best you can When you go... Oh oh oh oh... Plush love Plush love All that’s left That’s enough                       HUPHELUMPHAGUS Say you will                          FELTINA I say I will                         BOTH For Plush Love

[podmusical]

Meanwhile, in Space...

[podmusical]

In the vast emptiness of space, THE SORTER speaks… This week on Fall of the House of Sunshine:  Addendum 2: A Sort of Love!

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The Left Hand of Dankentness

Credits and Lyrics for Episode 9 of Our Dumb Universe

starring:

Announcer - James B Kennedy Feltina - Christina Pumariega Huphalumpagus - Rachel Flynn Beep - Kerry Ipema Sondra - Lauren Lim Jackson Dankent - Nathaniel Kent Valborg - Emily Gardner Xu Hall Pangla - Melissa Lusk Fuzzo - Jared Loftin Boop - Melissa Lusk Bloor - Carl Howell Null Ship - Jenni Putney Null Trooper - Fatt Booger Cuddle Cup Voice - Jenni Putney Kvold - Happy Anderson

written by Jonathan A. Goldberg music by Matt roi Berger

recorded, mixed and edited by Martin Fowler

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JUMP, DUNK, AND WHALE!

                                   FUZZO In the fields of Minnesota, August ’92 The greatest mall ever designed was set to open soon With a cinnabon, an ice rink and rainforest cafe Twas the peak of architecture both then and today But someone was up to something So made that he was jumping around! The ghost called Spring Heeled Jack Planned to tear this mall right back to the ground Spring Heeled Jack’d been reading Marx for a non-credited course And he got some big ideas he planned to test by force But little did he know, two heroes happened to be In attendance at the ribbon cutting ceremony Forward for the Utah Jazz, The Mail Man, also known as Karl Malone! And with his Orca Dan, Underwater main man Jacques Cousteu Oh you know they’re gonna Jump Dunk and Whale! As Spring Heeled Jack unveiled himself to assail The structure of the mall, our two heroes split the throng and prepared. Well Jacques and Karl shared a look that said let’s go And Jacques threw some ninja sea stars at that jumpy ghost And then Karl grabs a basketball from who know where He passes it to Dan before he takes to the air A perfect Ally Oop Dan’s pass a perfect swoop and a dunk Right on to Jackie’s head That’s when that ghosty said “i’m sunk!” Because they’re gonna Jump Dunk and Whale A dream team’s your means to prevail They brought it to the post to send that springy ghost to jail Yeah you gotta, Jump Dunk and Whale When you team up you just can’t fail Gotta double team your troubles, get your power doubled to prevail! Yeah you gotta, Jump Dunk and Whale When you team up you just can’t fail Gotta double team your troubles, get your power doubled to prevail! __/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/ A COMPLICATED PLAN                             VALBORG Everyone listen close, let’s have another go At heart this plan is simple-ly complicated Eventually we’ll warp fold deep into Null space But first we’ll make some major changes:             PANGLA / FUZZO / HUPH / FELTINA / SONDRA Switching it up ship wide Slipping into disguise Pitch a tent with sting lights Circus ship we’ll look like Truth they’ll never surmise Catch the Null by surprise Oh oh oh oh!                             VALBORG That’s right and then part two we use a magic act Distract the Null from what we’re really doing Dankent and Sondra will set up a net field trap With lasers on a local moon While Huph performs and Kvold enjoys The net is shot and hits Disabling the power to the ship             PANGLA / FUZZO / HUPH / FELTINA / SONDRA In the dark and chaos Power loss is causing Valborg will deposit Drugs into their water Fuzzo will spread Gossip Pass out the narcotics Ai Ai Ai Ai!                             VALBORG This plan has many parts and nothing must go wrong If we miss a single step, we can kiss our butts so long Every cog that’s in this clock, require laser focus and total calm ...                             VALBORG Once all the Null are drugged, we slip into phase 3 Bloor and Pangla sneak aboard the Null Treasure Ship We all will follow, one by one, we’ll say we need To find the loo and take a piss The Fartknocker we’ll find and board And speed out on our way! Alive a free to head straight for the Brain!                               ALL This plan has many parts and nothing must go wrong If we miss a single step, we can kiss our butts so long If we can pull it off, they’ll sing our name in song                 VALBORG So one more time, go:               PANGLA / FUZZO / HUPH / FELTINA / SONDRA Slipping into disguise Circus ship we’ll look like Felt and Huph do magic Null are all distracted Laser net is set, shot Big ship is catch caught In the dark and chaos Valborg drugs their water Fuzzo spread gossip Hands out the narcotics Excuse to use the potty While their heads are foggy Hop on the Fartknocker Head off like a rocket! Ah ah ah ah ah! __/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/ HE’S GOING DOWN                             VALBORG Just take a deep breath Val / Keep it under control Things may seem darkest now, but - you never know Just need a moment here / just need an open look One well-placed hunting spear and his goose is cooked                              SONDRA The moment’s growing closer, please be still my beating heart Just need to figure out a plan to take these jerk apart Just need a moment and a moment’s all I hope to get If this guy’s as fearsome as everyone says he is                             VALBORG Everyone here’s                              SONDRA Counting on me                             FUZZO I’ll make the move                             FELTINA/HUPH Set us all free                             PANGLA I’ll blow him a kiss! Maybe he’s cute!                             BLOOR Bloor - Bloor Bloor Bloor Bloor Blooooor                            FELTINA/HUPH Just take a deep breath                             VALBORG Just take a moment, breathe                             FELTINA/HUPH If I don’t take him down, that means defeat                            VALBORG If I don’t take him down                            FUZZO That means that evil wins                            PANGLA If I don’t kiss him maybe he’ll be sad and throw a fit                           FELTINA/HUPH The moment’s growing closer, please be still our beating hearts                              SONDRA Just need to figure out a plan to take these jerks apart                              FUZZO Just need to jump him before he can even blink an eye                                ALL If I don’t make a move, my friends will die I’ll make my move / They count on me I’ll be the hero / I need to be He’s going down / I’ll set us free ...

                              ALL I made my move / I tried to breathe I met my match / We met defeat Is this the end? / Now we must wait and see Ah oh ah oh ah oh

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Previously on Our Dumb Universe our odd assemblage of heroes decides to go after the Fartknocker a super-fast space ship in hopes of reaching the Ur-Brain. But to do it they’ll have to sneak into the treasure ship of the Null Empire the most ruthless aliens in the universe. What is to be done? By you? Listen ... to this! The next episode – Episode 9: The Left Hand of Dankentness.

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Oh my goodness! The Null are kill crazy! Can our small band of heroes really steal a spaceship right from under the nose of Velmach Kvold? Does he even have a nose? Find out nose time on Episode 9: The Left Hand of Dankentness!