himejoshiangels · 11 months ago
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I'll never ever ner get over fabians no good very bad day never ever.
[INSANITY IN THE NOTES
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qiankunfics · 4 years ago
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JohnKun Masterlist - Part 1
AO3
1. rearranged by renjaune - 
Summary: johnny has to share a room with his long-time crush thanks to haechan Rating: Explicit  Status: One-shot
2.  Wow, Bulge by lunalius J
Summary: Johnny's always dreamed of getting a soulmate tattoo and meeting his other half. The hand the Fates end up dealing him is not so dreamy. Rating: Teen  Status: One-shot
3. The Blue Antonov by tentography 
Summary: Kun runs a small bookstore and Johnny, a famous actor, stumbles into his life. Yes, this is absolutely a Notting Hill AU. Rating: Teen Status: On-going 
4. don't take my breath away too soon by sofarsoperfect 
Summary:  Like if he falls asleep he really has to start saying goodbye to the NCT 2020 era and he’s not sure he’s ready to do that yet. Rating: Teen Status: One-shot
5. put me right in my place by sofarsoperfect
Summary: “I am,” he replies. His voice is soft and velvety, warm and syrupy. Johnny leans down to nudge their noses together, Kun smiling softly as he does so. Rating: Explicit  Status: One-shot Trigger: Kinks
6. An Open Wound by lunalius 
Summary: Kun's life is thrown off balance when he stumbles upon a dying Youngho. Rating: Mature Status: One-shot Trigger: Blood & Injury
7. You're an Idiot (but you're My Idiot) by samuraiseonghwa
Summary: Sometimes disasters make the best dates. Rating: General Status: One-Shot
8. from one shadow to another by rowenabane
Summary: Kun has the audacity to smile. “Oh, Johnny,” he says. “You really are a man after my own heart.” Rating: Mature Status: One-Shot Trigger: Blood & Injury 
9. Indebted by lunalius
Summary: Johnny has three credit cards, of which one is frozen into an ice block for his own good.  Rating: Teen  Status: One-Shot  Trigger: Possible irresponsible spending 
10. you warmly melted me by blazingsirius
Summary: For a while, Qian Kun’s life is a bumbling mess between juggling his Master’s study, working as a budding producer, and being a single father. Johnny Suh came somewhere in between and suddenly everything felt okay. Rating: General  Status: One-Shot 
11. Here Comes The Prince, The Royal Frogness by blazingsirius
Summary: Prince Johnny was forced to attend a ball his parents held to find him a partner, but he found a way to escape the ball, which ended with a wrongful meeting with a magical being that put him in a curse. Somehow, a (literally) poor guy, Kun, got dragged into the mess. And oh, they’re both frogs now.  Rating: General Status: One-shot
12. Addictive Frequency by Sakunade
Summary: Johnny misses Kun, misses spending time together and having the younger in his bed. Kun is beautiful, perfect, and has the most delicious ass Johnny's ever seen. Rating: Explicit  Status: One-Shot
13. brightest light by tentography
Summary: Their summer had only just begun when Kun asks him to stay beneath the neon lights of the 7-eleven, bathing them in an electric mix of fluorescent white and bright orange-green-red. Rating: Teen Status: On-going 
14. johrny (horny 4 johnny) by borntovixx 
Summary: Johnny lifts weights without wearing a shirt and Kun can't stop staring at his muscles flexing – is it advisable to ask your crush if you could to lick his abs pretty please? It definitely isn't, but Kun's brain short-circuits and gives in to the cacoethes. Rating: Teen  Status: One-Shot
15. cream stuffed buns by farthendur
Summary: straight frat bros johnjae discover they feel real weird around neighborhood baker and DILF kun. Rating: Explicit  Status: On-going
16. in all glory by farthendur
Summary: Captain Qian Kun and First Officer Johnny Suh spend an intimate and spicy night in their quarters. What could possibly ruin it? Rating: Explicit  Status: One-Shot
17. We Got Married International - Johnny and Kun by jhengchie
Summary:  We got married International edition with Johnny as the member of the popular KPOP idol group Limitless and Kun is the beloved Chinese soloist Rating: General  Status: One-Shot
18. dubrovnik by lowkeyamen
Summary: Johnny takes off to Croatia, and meets someone from his past he didn't even recognise. Rating: Explicit  Status: Completed  *trans!Kun
19. this will be by sofarsoperfect
Summary: “When we do trade them back,” Johnny says and the inevitably of it makes Kun’s stomach twist in knots, “we really have to find something better.” (Parent Trap AU)  Rating: Teen  Status: One-Shot
20. The Moonlight after Midnight by writesinfontuwu
Summary: They shared a memorable night in Osaka two years ago. Now they are reunited for NCT2020, Johnny feels his heart thumping in his chest again. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot
21. Up or Down by lamarina
Summary: Caught between a cute TA and a foreign language credit, what's a guy to do? Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot
22. Is this a scoop? - in the eyes of Mark Lee by cherrycitrus_blossom
Summary:  Who is that customer and what relationship does he have with Johnny to make his eyes light up in delight when he walks through the door? Rating: General Status: One-Shot
23. I Love You Still by nu-exo (Nekohime)
Summary: JohnKun Agent AU  Rating: Explicit  Status: One-Shot
24. turn the lights on by jeanheir
Summary: Kun’s soft snores fill the room, the other man sleeping peacefully without a care in the world. It’s almost cruel, how unbothered he seems. Rating: General Status: One-Shot
25. Bad Kind of Player by Sakunade
Summary: The plan was supposed to be easy - count cards, win money, and be done with it. Except Kun chose the wrong casino, one under the control of Seo Youngho, known as Johnny, the rising head of the Gyeonghui jo-pok.  Rating: Explicit  Status: Completed Trigger: Kinks
26. red, gold (burning) by tentography
Summary: Kun Qian and the Audacity Of This Bitch (HP AU!)  Rating: Teen Status: Completed 
27. In-Sync Heartbeats by mezzaluna_ch
Summary: This is the piece he plays every time he wants to escape reality in haste. This is the piece he plays every time he thinks of Johnny. Now, Johnny is the one playing it. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot
28. I Owe You by seungwanxndxnly
Summary:  Only Johnny's big crush on Kun can hold him back. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot
29. superluminal by wentz
Summary: A man who can only be the captain of the smuggling vessel stands at the top of the ship's ramp, cutting a roguish picture as he leans with one arm against one of the hydraulic pillars. He looks supremely dashing. Kun dislikes him on sight. Rating: Mature Status: One-Shot
30. Shoot For the Moon by lunalius
Summary: Kun wants to go to space. He's got a plan to get there, and he's following it to a tee.  Rating: Explicit  Status: Completed
31. he was a superhero, he was a seamstress, can i make it any more obvious by fvckradio
Summary: Superhero Kun with Seamstress Johnny  Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot Trigger: Mentions of blood and injury 
32. just a touch of your love by seonho
Summary: Kun is rather mild in his kinks — not entirely vanilla, but then again, certainly nothing as scandalous as having his blood sucked out of him. (Vampire) Johnny Suh, however, poses a very tempting threat to those convictions. Rating: Explicit  Status: One-Shot Trigger: Blood 
33. So I Can Fix Your Hand, I'll Be Your Handyman by IsabelArmuelles
Summary:  Johnny dislikes his landlady but is very much crushing on her step-son, the handyman.  Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot
34. connect the dots, baby! by rowenabane
Summary: Johnny suspects Kun of being a serial killer.  Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot
35. Countercurrent Exchange by indiecheetah
Summary:  Johnny wasn’t exactly a believer. He never thought monsters or cryptids were real, always finding those stories amusing at best. But even all of his years of knowledge of marine life could not explain this creature. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot
36. Inevitably Loving You by occultclysms
Summary: Prince Kun and Celebrity Johnny fake date.  Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot
 37. i'm stepping on the cracks (i feel fine) by sofarsoperfect
Summary: Sprite Kun and Human Johnny - Kun seeks refuge with Johnny ;)  Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot
38. Domestic Bliss by cobalamincosel
Summary: Johnny and Kun work through a divorce.  Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot
39. you say my name like i have never heard before by sofarsoperfect
Summary: Mafia Johnny with Kun  Rating: Explicit  Status: One-Shot Trigger: Mafia-related triggers and homophobia 
40. love me harder by sofarsoperfect
Summary: kun is fine, he's not even that resentful of his past or of johnny and he's doing really well and it's fine. except that one thing leads to another and it's totally, absolutely not fine at all. Rating: Explicit Status: Completed 
41. Emotional Distancing by lunalius
Summary: A global pandemic puts a dent in Kun's Green Card plans, but not in the way he expected. Rating: General Status: One-Shot
42. Domino by cobalamincosel
Summary: Kun and Johnny get back together after a break up.  Rating: Mature Status: One-Shot
43. and the next, and the next by jenhyung
Summary: Childhood friends Kun and Johnny meet again.  Rating: General Status: Completed 
44. would you mind by jokheiz
Summary: Single dad Kun crushing on his co-worker Johnny.  Rating: General Status: One-Shot
45. Charmed by lunalius
Summary: So no, he wasn’t blind. He was well aware that Johnny Suh had a crush on him. (HP AU) Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot
46. you got what i want, boy (and i want it) by sofarsoperfect
Summary: JohnKun PWP  Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot 
47. Flower Boy by bananaboatt
Summary: Kun wants a really cute flower crown for his coronation, Johnny is a real big sucker for his boyfriend. Rating: General Status: One-Shot
48. head first by jenhyung
Summary: Youngho crushes hard. Rating: General Status: One-Shot
49. In the Middle of the Night by kittensuh
Summary: Kun knows him, reads him like he’s an open book conveniently placed on Professor Qian’s podium for him to consume in all of his glory. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot
50. Altered States by unnameable
Summary: When Johnny’s sexual dry spell has lasted for longer than he can recall, Ten suggests Kun, a erotic hypnotist, instead of helping him get laid. Johnny forgets about the ridiculous suggestion until he meets Kun at one of Ten’s parties a few months later. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot
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pekkarolling · 8 years ago
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Compiled here is a series of my most notable memories relating to the Triwizard Tournament in 1994-1994. You may noticed that these are written in present tense. The reason for this is that they are adapted from several journals, interviews, and memories of the time, and so may deviate slightly from fact.
I want a scoop.
And he's it.
I can almost imagine myself in the crowded Hogwarts Hall as the flaming blue goblet spits out his name, and all the countries go mad because he's not supposed to exist!
And the speculation is delicious. The Chosen One, chosen yet again--but this time in a special competition! Is he power-hungry? Glory-hungry? Looking to impress a certain young lady? Andhow did he do it? Tricking the age line, a confundus charm...The possibilities are positively endless, I swear, I just need an interview to spice up the story...
Sighing, I look down at the note my boss left on my desk. Try to get the politics of it too, it says. And god, I hate politics--it doesn't sell and unless someone's taking over the world, no one cares. And then politicians--ugh, don't even get me started on politicians. Especially in conjunction with one of the juiciest social events of the year.
For them, it's some trash like international cooperation. I know that's what Fudge thinks it is; he said so himself as "he wiped his sweaty hands down on the sides of his trousers and his eyes darted back and forth" (courtesy of Larissa, my green quilled friend). He didn't appreciate the representation, and neither did my boss, but what can I do? It sold copies, and if there's one thing Rita Skeeter is fabulous at, it's getting readers hooked.
Now all I have to do is hook Harry Potter himself.
****
I'm waiting because Harry Potter, possible egoist that he is, is late. Fleur Delacour is busy flirting with the other Hogwarts champion, and Viktor Krum, like the brooding hero he is, is sitting moodily in the corner. I tap my red nails on the handle of my bag and wait. We have to get this going.
"Ludo, where's the final champion?" I ask impatiently, adjusting my glasses. The portly idiot (lost his career as a Beater, you know, although if you ask me he wasn't all that good) ignores me, instead looking towards the curved archway where the boy should come through any minute. A moment later, he does--short, bespectacled, his hair even messier than his father's used to be. Even from here I can see the striking green eyes that remind me of Lily's...I did a piece on the tragic deaths for the Prophet a couple years ago, and some boy did a drawing of the two of them. Her eyes were the brightest spot in those pictures. Such a shame, really, a tragedy... (we sold more papers that weekend than only a couple in the past few years. It's one of my greatest hits)
Ludo is going up to Harry now. I adjust everything I own to make it look perfect--although I'm already quite close to that goal--carefully folding my magenta robes into place.
"This is Rita Skeeter," Ludo says, and I step off of my stool. "She's doing a small piece on the tournament for the Daily Prophet--"
"Maybe not that small, Ludo," I say, my eyes sweeping over Harry's face. His eyes are shadowed by dark circles--sleepless, much? I wonder what's been keeping him up at night.
Well, now's my chance to find out.
"I was wondering if I could have a little word with Harry before we start? The youngest champion, you know...to add a bit of color?" The fourth champion's face contorts, and I nearly sigh as Ludo asks something to the degree of "yes, but only if he agrees".
"Lovely." I grab the boy's arm and steer him towards my favorite place to go in Hogwarts: the broom closet where I entertained many people with secrets. "We don't want to be in there with all that noise," I say by way of explanation. "Let's see...that's nice and cozy." I open the door to the cupboard and press him in. "Come along, dear--that's right--lovely." I sit myself down on a lovely bucket and start to rummage through my bag for Larissa and some candles to, mm, shall we say shed some light on the subject? It’s easy enough to find both--I’m a stickler for organization, and they’re both in the front pocket. I levitate the candles and light them with a quick swish of my wand. I’m about to get Larissa out when I realize that I have to bloody well get consent for the Quick Quotes quill. Right.
“You don’t mind, Harry, if I use a Quick Quotes quill? It leaves me free to talk to you normally…”
“A--a what?” Poor boy, he looks dumbfounded. I take Larissa out, suck on the tip so my writing voice transmits onto the parchment, and place the parchment down onto a crate. “Testing...my name is Rita Skeeter, Daily Prophet reporter.” Larissa starts to churn out the usual stuff--my looks, my age--and so I tear off the top of the parchment and stuff it in the trash pocket of the bag. I really can’t leave my age lying anywhere around--as far as the rest of the world knows, I’m thirty two. Then I wave Larissa into work again.
“So, Harry...what made you decide to enter the Triwizard Tournament?”
He’s staring at Larissa. Not the goal. “Ignore the quill, Harry,” I say, and he relaxes the slightest bit. “Now--why did you decide to enter the tournament, Harry?”
“I didn’t.” Sure. “I don’t know how my name got into the Goblet of Fire. I didn’t put it in there.”
I raise an eyebrow. That’s highly unlikely. “Come now, Harry, there’s no need to be scared of getting into trouble. Our readers love a rebel.”
“But I didn’t enter,” he says, and I glare at Larissa to stop writing that down. “I don’t know who--”
“How do you feel about the tasks ahead? Excited? Nervous?”
“I haven’t really thought about it...yeah, nervous, I suppose.”
“Champions have died in the past, haven’t they? Have you thought about that at all?” I need some drama from him--more than just nerves conveyed awkwardly.
“Well...they say it’s going to be a lot safer this year.” I roll my eyes. I better turn the conversation to his dead parents if I’m going to get anything from this interview at all. “Of course, you’ve looked death in the face before, haven’t you? How would you say that’s affected you? Do you think that perhaps you were tempted to enter the Triwizard Tournament because--”
“I didn’t enter,” he says, his tone tight, and I can barely contain my sigh.
“How do you think they’d feel if they knew you were competing in the Triwizard Tounament?” He doesn’t respond, so I prompt him. “Proud? Worried? Angry?”
His face is contorting, and he glances over at Larissa, and I’m about  to tell him not to when--
“I have NOT got tears in my eyes!” he proclaims hotly, and I’m hurrying Larissa and stuffing the papers into my bag as the door bangs open.
I wait around through a near interrogation from Dumbledore--honestly, the man is a nightmare-- and have Larissa take notes through the weighing of the wands. Then it’s time to get the meat of the story--student interviews. They’re always the ones that know what’s truly going on.
I meet a boy in the hallway and ask him about Harry Potter. The little boy smiles, and I do too.
Oh, what a story this is going to be. I can just imagine...
****
I can't believe I overlooked Cedric and Krum. Harry may be The Chosen One, but these boys scream heartthrob, even when they're sleeping (I would know). Cedric's perfect, chestnut locks and puppy dog eyes are enough to send any girl reeling, and Krum on a broom with that thick, sexy accent will send those reeling girls straight towards them. Plus, both of them are athletes, something everyone likes to hear about.
I could do a quidditch piece on my three male champions, I suppose. Pictures of them standing elegantly by their brooms, talking about why quidditch is important to them, what they do in it, their position, blah blah blah blah blah. Especially after Harry’s success with the first task, and Krum’s Quidditch Cup win this year...it’s almost perfect!
I start to write a killer intro, which, all in all, sounds more lovely than Celestina Warbeck’s rendition of “A Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love” when I read it aloud. I’m paging through my notes to find possible quotes when I hear the distinctive clomp of Boss’ boots parading past my office. “Hey!” I call. “Hey, Boss!”
“What is it, Rita?” he grunts, poking a fat head through the door. “Another piece making fun of Dumbledore?”
“No, I--” I smile. I can’t forget to turn on the charm, especially now. “What do you think of a quidditch piece on our three guys?” He doesn’t say anything, and my smile freezes. “Wouldn’t it just be lovely?”
“We need more of the girl, Rita. Get me more of her.”
I rip the beautiful writing out of the typewriter and start over. If he won’t do something that includes seventy five percent of our champions, then I’ll do something that includes none of them. And it’ll still sell, because I overheard something delicious in the Hogwarts courtyard during the Yule Ball.
If Boss won’t go along with my ideas, then I’ll go rogue.
****
Journal Excerpt:
Miss Fleur Delacour is completely boring, and I mean that in the nicest possible way.
She's pretty, sure, but she doesn't have any...mmm....star quality. Nothing there is to be said about her is anything anyone but kiddies want to read. She loves her sister? Go to some Muggle family and see that. She's connected to her veela heritage? Wow, great, now can we have some pictures that reveal a little less of the heritage and a little more of her? She is the top student at Beauxbatons? This isn't a trophy room, goddamnit.
And then there's the faded bruises down her arms. I suppose there could be a story made out of the possible abuse, but the funny thing is? It won't sell. No one likes to feel guilty about a hero who's a sex symbol and a half. They just want to... indulge in her.
Maybe I can call up a camera guy so Boss doesn't get on my back for not having stuff on her. But in the meantime, her section in my journal is pretty blank.
I'll just keep selling copies. Tick, tick, tick, down to the wire.
It’s what I do best.
****
A letter from Dumbledore:
Dear Miss Skeeter,
I can assure you that we do not take race and other like considerations into the process of hiring teachers. We judge based on merit alone. I would therefore sincerely ask that you decline from writing any such articles in the future, and to respect the ban from Hogwarts that has been placed upon you. Please also note that I am on good terms with the superiors of your office and can arrange that you be fired if necessary.
Your former teacher,
Headmaster Dumbledore
A letter to Dumbledore:
Headmaster,
I can assure you that I am only looking out for the safety of our youth. You have continually put students under the care of dangerous creatures, such as werewolves and giants, and I know that many will not stand for it. Please note the need for good journalism in today’s society, and for good justice as well. I hope that you consider this as you make hiring decisions for next year.
--Rita Skeeter
Journal Excerpt:
Hermione Granger can go--
Voldemort and Harry’s delusions would have made an excellent story, Boss.
Letter Draft:
Dear Boss,
Please, take me back
I’ve been fired.
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