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#bringing this back cos. yeah
meirimerens · 1 year
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the pathologic Kin is largely fictionalized with a created language that takes from multiple sources to be its own, a cosmogony & spirituality that does not correlate to the faiths (mostly Tengrist & Buddhist) practiced by the peoples it takes inspirations from, has customs, mores and roles invented for the purposes of the game, and even just a style of dress that does not resemble any of these peoples', but it is fascinating looking into specifically to me the sigils and see where they come from... watch this:
P2 Layers glyphs take from the mongolian script:
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while the in-game words for Blood, Bones and Nerves are mongolian directly, it is interesting to note that their glyphs do not have a phonetic affiliation to the words (ex. the "Yas" layer of Bones having for glyph the equivalent of the letter F, the "Medrel" layer of Nerves having a glyph the equivalent of the letter È,...)
the leatherworks on the Kayura models', with their uses of angles and extending lines, remind me of the Phags Pa Script (used for Tibetan, Mongolian, Chineses, Uyghur language, and others)
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some of the sigils also look either in part or fully inspired by Phags Pa script letters...
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some look closer to the mongolian or vagindra (buryat) script
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looking at the Herb Brides & their concept art, we can see bodypainting that looks like vertical buryat or mongolian script (oh hi (crossed out: Mark) Phags Pa script):
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shaped and reshaped...
#not sure how much. what's the word. bond? involvement? not experience. closeness? anyone in the team has with any of these cultures#but i recall learning lead writer is indigenous in some way & heavily self-inserts as artemy [like. That's His Face used for#the p1 burakh portrait] so i imagine There Is some knowledge; if not first-hand at least in some other way#& i'm not in the team so i don't know how much Whatever is put into Anything#[ + i've ranted about the treatment of the brides Enough. enough i have]#so i don't have any ground to stand on wrt how i would feel about how these cultures are handled to make the Kin somewhat-hodgepodge.#there is recognizing it is Obviously inspired by real-life cultures [with the words;the alphabet;i look at Kayura i know what i see]#& recognizing it Also is. obviously and greatly imagined. not that weird for you know. a story.#like there is No Turkic/Altaic/Mongolic culture that has a caste of all-women spiritual dancers who place a great importance on nudity#as a reflection of the perfect world and do nothing but dance to bring about the harvest. ykwim...#like neither the Mongols nor the Buryats nor the Tibetans dress the way the Kin does. that's cos the Kin is invented. but they're invented.#.. on wide fundations. ykwim......#Tengrism has a Sky Deity (Tengri) with an earth-goddess *daughter* whereas the kin worship an Earth-Goddess mother of everything#+ a huge bull. Buddhism has its own complete cosmogony & beliefs which from the little I know Vastly Differ from anything the Kin believes#like. yeah. story. but also. [holds myself back from renting about the Brides again] shhh...#neigh (blabbers)#pathologic#pathologic 2
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youngyoo-apologist · 5 months
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OG Choi Han they could never make me hate you cause if some random rich boy was yelling at me and telling me my family deserved to die like a day after it happened and all I wanted was to know how I could get help I’d beat him up too
This plus the added fact that the Harris Village people were the first people to take Choi Han in and take care of him after years and years in the dark forest. Like he’s obviously not going to be mentally stable after all that, and he was so young when everything happened to him like I cannot blame him at all. I don’t think I can ever hate OG Choi Han like ever, he’s flawed, he has problems, but I love him dearly. He deserves the world. This kid who had to fight for his life, was taken away from his family, and in the process had to give up parts of his own humanity to survive, and like went to war two years later, they could never make me hate u OG Choi Han…
Like yeah violence is bad I guess but OG Cale had it coming(saying this as an OG Cale fan, I love him, but he was mean as hell when he was younger!)
If I’m honest, I think they were both in the wrong to an extent. Like OG Cale shouldn’t have said all that no matter the circumstances, and OG Choi Han shouldn’t have beaten him up so much. But u say mean shit and you get hit, that is how it will work when you’re talking to the guy who just saw his entire village get murdered like idkkkk man
I understand where OG Cale was coming from, but he had many issues and while he wasn’t an awful person, he was capable of doing bad things because of his own internalized pain and emotions that he never got to properly process because of his emotionally distant childhood and relationship with his father who should have been there for him more when he was younger.
Okay speaking of his childhood, Deruth isn’t the WORST father in the world but there are a lot of things he could have done better. I think a lot of Deruth’s flaws come from his fear of failure and messing up. He’s scared of doing the wrong thing, and so he sticks to doing what he knows and using what he knows best. That’s why he uses his money, that’s why gift giving is his way of showing affection, he knows that it is one thing he cannot mess up.
The problem is that money and gifts is NOT what OG Cale needed. I think what that guy needed the most was a parent who wasn’t afraid to talk to him, to ask him questions. Not to say that Deruth gave up on OG Cale, but I think in a way he gave up on OG Cale by giving up on himself. Deruth didn’t trust himself to have the capabilities to talk to OG Cale, which is why he never did. It’s because that Deruth was scared, and didn’t trust himself, that he could never face OG Cale
If Deruth was able to trust himself a little more, and pull himself together, I don’t think OG Cale would have turned out the way he did. As a kid, he probably thought the only way he could help his family without relying on anyone(no doubt this whole ‘I have to do it myself’ thing came from the fact that he couldn’t rely on his father when his mom died, and instead was acting as a pillar of support for his father when it should have been the other way around) was to sabotage himself, the only heir. If he was shown to be unfit to be heir, then everyone else would have no choice but to direct their hatred towards him instead of his family.
If Deruth had talked to his son at least ONCE when he was a kid, asking him why he was upset or why he did the things he did, I think OG Cale would have told him. Why? Because he’s a kid!! A kid will obviously want to rely on his father, if he just had one sign telling him that he didn’t have to do it alone I’m 90% sure OG Cale would have said something.
Basically, while Deruth isn’t the worst father, he’s not really a great father either. I think he does do his best, but he has issues with communication lol
OG Cale and OG Choi Han are both complex characters and had their own reasons to behave the way they did. The thing is with people is that they’re complicated and have layers, so the situation with them would have layers behind it as well with multiple co-existing truths and stuff
#guys I’m a big fan of Choi Han#and I get sad when people bring up this scene and all the blame is on him#like okay he was wrong but if YOU saw your entire family dead and some random rich boy started yelling abt how their lives were worthless#you’d be mad too no?#like his feelinsg were totally justified cause OG Cale was REALLY mean in that scene#‘their lives are worth less than the bottle in my hand’ OHHHHH OKAY OG CALE THATS ENOUGH THATS ENOUGHHHH#I love OG Cale but u have to admit he wasn’t very nice when he was younger#like the statements ‘he had his reasons’ ‘being trash was an act’ ‘he wasn’t a bad person’ ‘but he did say bad things’ can co exist#yes being trash was an act but he is ALSO capable of saying mean things and things that are wrong#LIKE TELLING THE GUY WHO JUST GOT HIS FAMILY MURDERED THAT THEIR LIVES WERE WORTHLESS#HE WAS NOT INNOCENT FOR THAT#Younger OG Cale is not a black and white character#and neither is older OG Cale but this post isn’t abt him#okay I’m gonna bring up someone who isn’t from TCF#but take Eunyung Baek from no home as an example okay#eunyung did bad things and was a bad person because of his childhood right#the reasons to being a bad person do not take away the bad things he did#but just cause he did bad things and was capable of them did not mean he could not change#I love OG Cale a LOT and I just think that his character has a lot behind it#Older OG Cale is obviously very different from his younger self#years and years of war and tragedy have matured him and like he’s not the same person he was anymore#okay back to Choi Han I love that guy I will defend him with my life#beating up people is wrong yeah but with the circumstances I’d say OG Cale had it coming#like okay it would be different if it was unprovoked but it was very much provoked#I swear I love OG Cale I just think he was very wrong for that#not to say he can’t change or isn’t capable of change he definitely is#idk I guess my point is that OG Cale was wrong but he changed as a person#and OG Choi Han was wrong for beating him up so much but it wasn’t unjustifiable#tcf#lcf
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starlooove · 1 month
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The Jackie lives au in my head
#listen i saw that scene where he literally rammed a man into a wall and haven’t been the same since#guys IK Jackie’s seen as like bumbling or whatever but if he survived I think he would’ve been a big player 😩#like in my mind#let’s ignore Johnny for now guys#Bc Uhm. I refuse to let Jackie die yet so I’m still doing Regina gigs so I still don’t know shit about Johnny so#let’s ignore all that#i think if Jackie had survived#well let’s start from the start#in MMMMYYYY mind#my v had prev affiliations w/ the voodoo boys which left him a proficient netrunner and hacker#this means my boy absolutely hacked delamain to get to a ripperdoc - not just any VIIICCCC#he obvi patches Jackie up and Uhm. let’s say v got coma Injured#to account for lost time bc I’m not creative#ooh or maybe v did die and the whole enneagram thing still happened it was just like. shortened#a few days on Vic’s table as opposed to a few weeks in the dump#idc point is v wakes up and Jack is like a biiig deal#not quite MAJOR leagues bc their faces are plastered everywhere#and ppl wanna lie low till that heat dies down#but like. jackie def killed the FUCK outta dex deshawn#and after mamá Welles grounded him he got to steppin#grieving his dear friend V and making him an honorary ofrenda till the asshole wakes up sad#Uhm actually. bring Johnny back so the story can progress idk Idgaf anymore#i think Jackie would take his own life a lot more seriously after this and be like. a lot less chill#he never wants to see that look on his mamis face again#interesting dynamic where it’s v trying to get Jackie to relax now 😩#will they ever strike a balance?#well no bc my v blows up arasaka tower#WAIT but if Jackie lives maybe he doesn’t idk…read a fix where they co-owned the afterlife and yeah!#idc#can u tell Im dreading continuing the story
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nobodieshero-main · 3 months
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things just came together even better i love when this happens
#that dragon cult ive talked about before is also a rebellion against prince sasha actually#so yes they believe (hope) that dragons will one day return but they also love and respect and admire them for what they were#and they haaaattteeee the solari's for what they did#and they've been trying to dethrone him for years - especially when they heard about his search#and so they know about him and he knows about them so he pinned them as the bad guys so no one would trust them#or listen to them and ALSO so he'd have someone to hide behind while he did all his evil shit#and he even had his own soldiers and shit dressed up and pretending to be them and stuff#so it looks like it was the rebellion that attacked arlet and did all this other stuff#and then the volcano scene in library keeper is like. the rebellion and then atlas and co are there for the same reason but also not#the rebellion wants to PROTECT korahi bc they worship dragons and the idea that there's one left is like. insane.#but atlas and stuff are there to kill her bc 1 keika has this bone deep instinctual knowledge that it needs to be done (and also kiko asked#2 they think bringing her back will lead to the destruction of the continent and blah blah bah#basically neither side is explaining themselves and both basically went “ENEMY” and yeah#and then...cecily and ahria join the rebellion - not as dragon worshippers but as sasha haters#this is the first time the rebellion have actively tried to dethrone a solari bc now they have someone else they can put up there#(the cousin i also mentioned once i think. she's neat.)#ANYWAY YEAH things are becoming more clear and solid woo love that#plot stuff
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marklikely · 1 year
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the results of that "is fanfic a book" poll have shown me one thing and its that this site never graduated past that absolutely insufferable phase in 2013 where everyone acted like every book is the single most sacred thing on earth
#sorry rant incoming. you know like the people who got way too offended over dog earing or carving books for art or things like that?#that's what the notes section of that poll feel like. just way too many people (on both sides) putting way too much importance on Books.#like first you have the 'um ive read fanfic that was deep and beautiful and thematic so yes all fanfic is books' votes#which like. ok. ive also read really deep thematic screenplays but that doesnt make it a book its simply not. what a book is#then you have the honestly even worse 'um your reylo au isn't like the works of the masters its not REAL BOOKS' crowd#which like. yeah most actual published books are not as good as the 'works of the masters' whatever that means. so you have proven nothing#which brings us back to the absolute worst of all 'colleen hoover & co aren't books either' SOMEHOW#like. ok well i think her work is pretty bad but it was literally edited and published into literal books so#if you're going to decide that you get to be the arbiter of what books are Good Enough to count as Real Books well you've lost already.#because no that's not how any of this works. youre fighting one of the most famous Losing Battles in all of art discourse.#a book is just. a format that writing can be in its not some holy status you have to work to acheive#and to try and turn it into that is really stupid and self important i think because like again#who gets to decide what books are Real? what motivates them to make that choice? what biases are benefited from that?#i think its worth noting in conversations like this everyone wants to deny female romance authors the title of Real Book#(which yes a lot of those books are very shallow or badly written. many have outright offensive tropes)#but nobody mentions the equally shallow and offensive stuff by/for men. like william johnstone's shitty cowboy books for example.#no matter how you try to frame it youre going to lose the second you decide something has to fit your standards to be real art.#avpost#its very reminiscent for me of the conversation around modern art where people just want to say they know what is and isn't real art#based on like whatever standards they want. 'ugh its just dots it's not real art'. do u see where im coming from.#a book is just. a piece of writing that was edited and published in the form of a physical book. that's it. its a v literal if vague noun.#it can be something with a lot of depth and meaning. it can be shallow and hacky. it can be nonfiction entirely. its not a value statement#which can also be said about art as a whole some of it is very shallow and bad. some of it is extremely skilled and profound#anyway. no fanfic isn't inherently books but some fanfics have undergone editing & publishing and became books i think#and that doesnt mean that they're 'as good as' the classics by really skilled writers. but theyre still books#tbh a lot of the published fanfic books are worse than most nonbook fanfic. them being books isnt a statement of being more valuable.#its just a literal fact.#i think its interesting to discuss but i swear its not a huge deal whether fanfic is books the bigger deal to me is#the weird attitude popping up on both sides. which i think most people would also find stupid if their brains hadnt been like#totally ruined by an uninterrupted 5 years of insufferable-on-all-sides fanfic discourse that has ruled this website.
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bookwyrm35 · 1 year
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Oh my gosh, you guyssss 🥺🥰.
I open my phone after a kind of meh day to see that my last post (the drawing) got one hundred twenty two notes?!?!  That might be a small number to some but that is insane to me.
So thank you LockNation, for once again proving how amazing of a fandom you are.
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coldflasher · 10 months
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my villain origin story is the boomer ladies from the knitting club throwing a massive tantrum because there "wasn't a space for them" in the new library, so the librarians set aside a soundproof room for them to use, which was GREAT for me because they are very loud and annoying. but instead of using the room that they made such a fuss about being given access to, they decide to sit in the main area instead, having a very loud conversation WITH A CRYING BABY
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daisyachain · 1 year
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For a show with so much well let’s say fan base, Daiya surprisingly avoids the clumsy accidentally shounen relationship focus, instead using subtler, slower, deliberate development of Sawamura’s relationships with Chris and Miyuki. The show about having a good time playing ball is in fact just about having a good time playing ball. That’s what makes it even odder that it’s Ugumori that fits into ye goode olde unintentional subtext
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bisaster-energy · 11 months
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i do get making cas essentially human i understand that he can adjust to it and actually enjoy life like that. but um. i just think he can be just as fulfilled as a full blown angel
#human cas fics fuck severely they go hard#but i cant really vibe with cas like. just ''being human'' endgame#cos we already know no matter if he can fly no matter if he has grace he won't BE human that's an entirely different species ya dig#if the show was normal about non-human creatures being people as much as humans are#i probably wouldn't mind as much? but the show is very very sucky about that so#they scratch the surface on nonhumans being capable of like. fear and hopelessness and love.#and instead of really having salmondean explore this they just. forget about it and maybe the cycle restarts in another motw ep#ik it probably aligns with the overall copification of those 2 and it makes me so full of malice...#what im saying is cas is decidedly other. a creature an incredibly powerful one.#and i think it really shows that him not being human separates him from them. he's not as trusted#even after 12 years :/ it's kinda easy to oust him cos he keeps relationships with heaven.#which brings me to the whole ''oh fuck angels we hate angels oh but um not you cas!!'' thing like bro he's still an angel#you pick which monsters u find worthy of redemption but never fully accept them for what they are and discard em pretty easily#so yeah i think having cas be graceless is interesting and even makes sense but ig it just seems too easy on the winchesters#they never had to really accept cas as a full powered angel cos honestly they way they remember it#cas at full power wings in tact was just an asshole and he was barely ever back to that: comfortable in his prime after like s7 wtv#once it's all over and done with i think it'd be cool if cas could have all his wings and power in tact and just be at peace like that#he's an angel but he doesn't have to be a soldier anymore he can quite literally do anything now whole point of free will#and yeah he can choose to be graceless sure but he can never be human anyway. physically at his core he's something Else and i think#dean should have to like. live with that tbh#they never have to REALLY tackle the ''monsters are people too'' aspect and angel cas endgame would prove that regardless#he IS family. they dont NEED him to be an angel to USE him but regardless he is what he is and#they are fine with him not being human because he's family and they love him who cares what you are.#cos in cas' mind he needs his power to be useful but also he cannot truly be part of them while he is noticeably Other due to their bias#this is true for other characters obviously jack rowena crowley#sam's whole thing with benny 💀#but this is a cas post and i haven't watched the show in years so this isn't like. a cited essay lmao just ramblings#in short i just want cas to be fully angel while not feeling he HAS to be for others' sake and have the brothers be genuinely cool with it#cas my best friend cas#cas studies
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valleydean · 11 months
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can you corroborated the M&G story?? It’s a little hard to believe but there’s someone in the replies saying that they left something out too. IDK I don’t want to take things at face value when the beer wasn’t promoted by misha and there was nothing telling us that it was for destiel fans
I was not in the M&G so I can't corroborate shit lol
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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eulmore ost makes me so happy 🥹
#🌙.rambles#[ ffxiv. ]#both day n night themes r both so comforting for me. i have. a lot of memories in eulmore#with msq.. shadowbringers is very very special to me :c n then raiding i. i remember w the static we'd sit n just chill there n#talk or emote on each other or wtvr. i still remember those nights so clearly#i remember an old friend. how i'd always be shy to talk to him haha i never initiated any convos but i remember we met there n#yeah. n. he affected my life quite a bit months after in that week we talked quite a lot bcs i was really in a bad time then n..#he was there ig. a friend back then.#with the static yh. i remember listening in to vc. sometimes we'd have guests too#like our friends who. was our static leader's friend first yh n he's one of the best ninja's w uhh ffl*gs >.>#n then our static lead's old friend from his old static joined us from time to time to i think he's from na????#nyways the latter dude i can barely remember his voice but he was my co-tank several times during prog n i wld be so intimidated omg#i miss those days a lot. last year i was really disconnected from reality but i had a lot of friends n memories in ffxiv#this year was.. this year confuses me so much. n it's precisely bcs it's been so long since i've been connected w reality like this#i really don't want to mess it up n i think lately i haven't been doing well bcs i can't help but feel like i have#do you ever think of the past and wonder whether if you did better would things be different (& also better) now?#i'd rather not dwell on the past n instead look towards what i can do in the future but i've been feeling lost for so long now#ff calms me down so much oh my god i'm listening to some ffxv rn too n it brings back a lot of memories#all these memories really mean so much to me but it's so bittersweet bcs. i can't return to them. just remember n remember n remember#one day i'm afraid i'll forget. or all this would be too far out of my reach#n that day feels far too near. but this dread this anxiety this fear is normal. human. but so very tiring n i don't know what to do#i miss those days.. even yesterday i miss so much. even earlier today. thinking n lately i've been too tired to reach out in any way n oh#IM RAMBLING WAIT 😭😭#i really don't know how to put it into words at this point but it just feels so bittersweet n cold n confusing n hdlkfjsdflkds :c#christmas is so near.. 2023 is so near n i'm not sure what i've done at all. lately life just feels so empty.#but eventually i'll find myself again. so please tell me you'll still wait. please tell me you haven't forgotten.#n so i'll forge ahead unto the morrow. with a heavy heart.. mind full of thoughts n hands too tired to write. but i'm still here.#even if it weighs heavy even if it hurts. tomorrow so long as there's tomorrow there'll always be another chance for smth better.#n i'll hold unto that hope forever
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ghostfacd · 10 months
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YOU CAN LET GO NOW ! | TOM BLYTH
PAIRING. tom blyth x fem!actress!reader
SUMMARY. in which tom blyth can’t let go of your hand after an intense argument scene in your film
installment of this au | your character and Tom’s lines in the film are written in italics
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“Action!”
Tom and you have probably been on your tenth cut by now, the scene was an argument between yours and his character, Balleona and Coriolanus. It was fierce and intense, filled with lots of angry yelling and a few tears.
Needless to say, your director was on both of your asses to make sure you got everything down perfectly, from the lines and hand movements to the crocodile tears.
“You can’t just expect everything to be okay Coriolanus!” You yell exasperated. You look up at Tom, who was currently looking down at you with a cold gaze. “You decided to cheat! You decide to risk your entire career for Lucy Gray, now you go sit with the consequences!”
Tom slams his hand on the table nearby, making you flinch back. “I had to! I did it for us! All of it! The rat poison—the scarf—I did everything for us! And now you repay me by yelling at me like a child?!”
You push Tom back with an accusing finger, eyes lingering with hurt. “You’re acting like a child Coriolanus Snow! I told you that my family has enough money, enough for you to go to university. But you just had to ruin the entire system, didn’t you? Is it Lucy Gray? The disgusting filth from District 12? Is she influencing you?”
Tom places his hand on your chin, grabbing it harshly, making you let out a whine.
“You don’t speak about her like that, do you understand?” Tom tightens his grip, making your hands come up to try to get out of his grasp. “Do you understand?!” He yells, causing you to close your eyes tightly.
“Let me go, you’re hurting me.” You say, “Coryo, let go, you’re hurting me.”
Tom’s eyes suddenly switched from anger to softness, and he lets go of his hold on your face. “I’m sorry sweetheart. I’m sorry.”
He brings you into a hug, letting you bury your head into his chest. “You know I didn’t mean it right? You know you’re more important to me than Lucy Gray—that’s why I did all of this. It was for you.”
You nod, letting out a few tears. Tom breaks the hug to hold your hand, his other one coming up to wipe them away.
“And.. cut!”
Tom stops wiping the tears that have fallen down to your cheeks, sighing in relief when the director says that they don’t have to redo the scene again.
However, he’s still holding tightly on your hand, nodding slowly at each of the words that come out from the director’s mouth.
“You okay?” You whisper to him.
“Hm? Yeah, no, I’m fine.” He reassures you, smiling down at your figure. “I’m a bit thirsty. Water?”
You smile and nod, letting him walk you two over to the water dispenser. He’s still holding firmly onto your hand, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by your co stars, Rachel and Josh.
“Geez Blyth, do you always have such a possessive hold on our dear Y/N here?” Rachel jokes, smiling teasingly at you two.
You roll your eyes, looking up at your boyfriend. He doesn’t seem to hear Rachel’s words, instead, focusing on getting the two of you water.
“Do you want some Rachel? Josh?”
“I’m good,” Rachel replies, “and Josh is too. We were gonna head out to this smoothie place for our lunch break.”
“Ah.” With his free hand, Tom pulls you closer to him until you’re practically leaning against him. “Well have fun you two.”
Rachel and Josh say their thanks, but before they leave, Rachel slips by you, whispering “he’s stuck to you like glue, isn’t he?” in your ear.
You try to hold in your smile, butterflies filling your stomach. Despite shooting the scene 15 minutes ago, Tom was still holding onto your hand as if you were his lifeline.
“Hey babe,” you say, which automatically makes all the gears in Tom’s hand focus their attention on you.
“Hm?”
“How come you’re still holding onto my hand?”
He seems to be surprised at your words, glancing down briefly at your intertwined fingers.
“Oh, I didn’t realize.” He says, shrugging.
“Yeah,” you tease him. “Obsessed with me aren’t you?”
He rolls his eyes, but nods in agreement. “Just a habit I guess. I felt really bad for yelling at you so much in the scene and grabbing your face. I’d never do that in real life.”
You let out a laugh, making Tom furrow his eyebrows in confusion.
“Aww Tom,” you say, leaning into his chest with your head. “I know you would never do that in real life baby. It’s just acting.”
“I know,” he sighs. “I just hate arguing with you, whether it’s acting or not. Coriolanus is a loser for not realizing what he has, you know.”
Now that made you laugh even louder, “yeah, but Tom Blyth is a sweetheart.” You tippy toe to reach his nose, placing a small kiss on the bridge of it. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
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rubys-domain · 1 year
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i'm going through a phase of "i just want x character out all the time and i just wanna run around with them and bask in their glory" with kokomi. so much so that i'm almost scared that she'll surpass chong as my fave of all time. but i went through a similar phase with cyno so logically i know that that won't actually happen.
still kind of annoying that i can never have this much interest in a meta dps tho. like why are all the characters i have any interest in maining either 4 stars, supports, or just not meta units (cyno, yoimiya)???
#⇢₊˚⊹ 🩷∥ruby∥yo,ide yo !!#if i could go back in time and give my newbie self advice#it would be to pick ONE meta (or universally strong) dps. just one. even if i have no interest in them#solely to make my life easier#as long as i don't dislike them,i can be arsed to use them#currently the only 5 star dps's considered strong that i also wouldn't mind using are tighnari and xiao#and they're probably not meta either lmao#childe maybe. i just find childe international boring to play#yeah nilou's strong and i really like her but she's not REALLY a dps. at least not in the traditional sense#xiao needs high investment and better weapons than i currently have#at least cyno can make good use of a white tassel#i mean i guess i already have blackcliff pole but eh...#tighnari i have the event bow. but i also don't know when i'm gonna lose my damn 50/50 to him#nari PLEASE come home i BEG 😭😭😭😭😭#don't get me wrong cyno and yoimiya serve me well. but i didn't use cyno at all until i got baizhu#and by that point i was already capable of giving him the stuff to make him decent#yoimiya's great (she does more damage than alt chong whom i invested way more into which is good but also kinda depressing as a chong main)#i just hate how easily she gets staggered. especially since i haven't been able to build layla very well yet so i still have to dodge#(totm is a pain. geovishaps are a pain. i might have to co-op to farm totm. but being ar 54 ppl might expect me to carry. which i can't)#(and i'm scared of bringing chong to co-op cuz nobody might let me use him. if i bring yoi i might get dunked on for her rn not-great build#(and i literally have no other characters i have that are actually built so i'd just be screwed)#(luckily it's getting added to the strongbox in 4.0. it's not the most efficient but it's definitely the less painful way to farm totm)
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One day i will be freed from being woken up at 2am by my cat
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gghostwriter · 23 days
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Wanted: A Gentleman
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Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Part 2 || Future take Summary: Your lovely group of friends, Penelope, JJ, and Emily, set you up with your perfect match Trope: Fluff! Just fluff! w.c: 1.3k a/n: Back at it again with something miss Sabrina Carpenter inspired. The fluff idea has finally struck and I love how this ended up, even without any editing! Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! 💗 masterlist
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“I’m serious!” You clarified, wiggling to get comfy on Penelope’s sofa. “It was the worst date I’ve ever been on!”
All the three girls laughed. It was Friday night, girl’s night, and you found yourself surrounded by the baddest girls Virginia could ever offer. The Powerpuff girls of the BAU as you once jokingly dubbed them—JJ being Blossom, Penelope being Bubbles, and Emily being Buttercup. Witty thinking on your part, if you say so yourself. 
Having just moved into the state just a few months ago, you were grateful for the ray of sunshine that Penelope was for taking you under her wing and introducing you to a great set of girlfriends.
“It can’t be that bad—” JJ giggled as she took a sip of her newly refilled glass wine. “Can it?”
Bringing out your phone, you swiped to the screenshot Bumble profile of your date the night before. He wasn’t bad looking, not at all. He was cute in a very American boy next door type of way but then again, his profile being filled with gym pictures should have clued you in.
“We had dinner at that newly opened restaurant, Palm & Pine, which is a great place by the way, but all he ever did was talk about himself—”
Emily nodded along. “Typical macho male behavior.”
“—that wasn’t even the worst part! He brought out a scale, a portable weighing scale, to log his macro calories in a fitness app!”
Penelope chose the wrong time to take a sip of her drink causing her cough violently while the two remaining girls threw back their heads and laughed hysterically. All you could hear were gasps of weighing scale and calories between them.
“I’m all for being healthy but really? On a first date?” You crossed your arms to your chest. “At this point, I might as well get a cat or two to keep me company.”
Penelope snatched your phone and clicked to open the dating app. “Oh no no, sweetheart. You’re too beautiful and nice to end up alone. We can find you a perfect man to love and take home with!”
“Yeah, we’re profilers. Trust us to pick for you,” Emily slyly added as she peeked behind Garcia’s shoulder.
Reaching out for the opened bottle of alcohol, you sighed in defeat and let the girls do their thing. “I’m going to need copious amounts of alcohol in my system for this.”
———
It was bad. Based on all their comments and numerous swipes to the left, the dating pool was atrocious, hell on earth. 
“He looks cute—” Penelope continue to scroll on his profile before making a face. “Never mind, look at that horrible grammar.”
JJ leaned in and read the poor man’s bio. “Theirs a million reasons why I’m your future boyfriend—Jesus, it’s really hard out there, huh?”
“I’d take any man who’s nice and breathes,” you laugh in despair. 
Emily’s eyes twinkle from a sudden idea. Everyone had been drinking continuously and the filter had been turned off by the time the third bottle was opened. Any thought made beyond just screamed bad idea. “You know, we could just set you up with Reid.”
“Reid?” you tilted your head to the side. What kind of a name is that? Its very…unique. “You have a co-worker named Reid? As in that’s his first name?”
“No, no, no. His name is Spencer, Reid is just his last name,” JJ clarified, leaning forward with a sweet smile on her face. Oh no, you knew that look. She was very much into this.
Penelope slides your phone to you and promptly claps her hands in glee. “You’re so right! Why didn’t I think of that!”
“Right,” Emily turned to face the other two. “They’d be great for each other. Now we just have to get him to agree. JJ—” the blonde raised her eyebrows. “—can you talk to Reid about it?”
She shrugged. “I could but you know how stubborn he is.”
“I’ll blackmail him if I have to,” Penelope interjected. “Boy genius needs to meet our own girl genius. They’ll be perfect for each other, he just doesn’t know it.”
Your eyes volleyed in between the three. “Don’t I have a say in this?”
Emily tsk’ed as she turned her inquisitive dark eyes on you. “I’ll cash in on that prize I won last time.”
“No,” you breathed out, remembering how you badly lost last poker night and vowed to do any dare the winner would tell you to do.
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes,” her smile growing wider and wider with each denial. 
Your shoulders slumped forward. “Fine but he better be the love of my life or you owe me big time.”
“Don’t worry your pretty head. He will be,” Penelope laughed, pouring more wine in all of the glasses. “Cheers!”
———
It took three weeks before the girls were finally able to wear the mysterious Dr. Spencer Reid down and in the midst of waiting (and stubbornly hoping that he would never give in), you learned more about the boy genius than you ever wished for. How he has an IQ of 187, graduated high school at the age of 12, has 3 PhDs under his belt, and an avid reader—like yourself. 
You begrudgingly admitted that he spiked your interest and having someone to talk to about books would be lovely but beyond that, you were slightly intimidated by his background which made yours, a literature degree graduate and publishing editor, seem insignificant. Penelope tried to squash that negative thought once you aired it out in the open by saying that Spencer wasn’t the type to judge anyone based on their societal standing. If anything, he’d find you interesting, she urged.
But there was one information you weren’t privy to, how he looks like. The girls didn’t want to show any photos, stating it’s best to see him face to face rather than through an image, which in turn made you imagine the worst. 
You looked around, standing on the second step of the museum as you try to spot any curly, hazel haired man walking your way. He wasn’t late, you were just too anxious to be fashionably late. 
Someone stopped in front of you at the bottom of the steps. 
“Are you—” the doe eyed stranger cleared his throat. “Y/N? Penelope’s friend?”
Oh damn. He was beautiful.
“Yes, are you Dr. Spencer Reid?” You squeaked. 
He smiled, stunning you into even more into awe. “Hi, yes. Yes, Spencer is fine.”
“Should we go inside?” You breathed out as you watched his cheeks reddened, no doubt matching the color of your own.
He nodded before slightly touching your arm to stop you in place and bending down like he was some kind of knight and shining armor and for all you knew, he could be. “Your shoelace is undone. Did you know that there’s more than 1,000 cases related to loss of footing each year and 67% of these falls were attribute to untied shoelaces?”
“We wouldn’t want to contribute to that, do we?” You quipped back as you studied how the sunlight hit his wavy locks, turning some into gold, and his doe expressive eyes with specs of green in them. Your favorite color as of today.
He laughed, his high pitched chuckle further capturing your heart. “Shall we?”
“We shall.” 
Your thoughts thanking the three women for setting you up with what seemed to be a perfect gentleman. 
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Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!
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seospicybin · 17 days
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THE FUCKBOY NEXT DOOR.
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PART 2
Bangchan x reader. (s)
Chapters: Part I
Synopsis: To help you moving on from your break-up, Chan takes you out for a night. However, he doesn't expect you will find a potential new love in someone else. (9,5k words)
Author's note: Here's one you've been asking for. Please tell me what you think about it! Nevertheless, enjoy x
"I think we're done for the day, huh?" You sigh in relief after dumping the dirty towels into the laundry bag and tossing it to the back room.
"No, actually, someone just walked in and wanted a haircut," your co-worker says while holding a stack of clean towels in front of her.
"Keem can have it," you resolve, you've finished all of your appointments for the day, and you're tired and ready to go home.
"Yeah, that's the problem. He specifically asked for you," your co-worker answers, putting the towels into the shelf full of them.
You plant your hands on each side of your waist and shoot a puzzled look at your coworker, "Huh?"
Is this customer aware that the salon is about to close and there's another hairstylist on duty? That exciting feeling of getting home soon is slowly fading as you head in to meet this customer who specifically asks for you.
The second you walk in, Keem, the other stylist, grabs your elbow and then leans into your side to whisper, "He's so cute."
Hearing it doesn't lift your mood at all, you just want to get it over with and go home.
"Where?" You ask as you put on your apron.
"He's right there," she whispers, pointing to the middle seat hidden behind the big mirror then detaches herself off you to go back behind the counter.
For a customer who chooses an awful time to get a haircut, you put on a phony smile and shove your hands into the pockets of your apron as you greet.
"Hi, what can I do for... You!" The infliction in your voice changes as you see who that customer is.
It's the shit-eating grin, the stupid dimples on his stupid face and
"It's enough torture to have you as my neighbor and now I have to you see at work too," you say as you cross your arms together in front of you.
"Oh, wow, is this how you treat your customer?" He says with a fake concerned look.
"Only the select few," you say with a sinister smile.
"I made it on your list of honors? Is this because we had sex—"
You hurriedly cover his mouth with your hand and make sure no one is seeing what you're doing to him, or worse, letting them acquire that piece of information.
"What do you want?" You scold him with a piercing glare.
He takes your hand off of his mouth and dramatically gasps for air, "I want a haircut," he simply answers.
With a huff, you swivel his chair to face the mirror and grab the cape for him, putting it around his neck, then clip it together. You put on a phony smile as you look at him through the reflection in the mirror.
"So, what do you want me to do with your hair besides setting it on fire?" You sarcastically ask him.
It's amazing how his grin doesn't wear off even just for a second, "We don't need to cut much, I guess just the tip," he says.
"Just the tip," you repeat, "Is that the title of your sex tape?"
Chan cracks a sonorous laugh, "That's a good one!"
Once you hear the sound of the scissors snipping away the hair, you get in the zone. You focus on giving his hair a nice shape that accentuates his strong jawline and makes his facial features more prominent.
"Don't talk much, huh?" He asks, slightly turning his head to the side.
You grab the nape of his neck and forcefully turn his head back to the front, "just here trying my best not to snip you somewhere else," you calmly mutter.
"Ooh, chills!" He responds with a shudder.
You switch your scissors with a hair clipper and it starts buzzing as you turn it on, you're holding it in his hand as you look at him and say, "You're going to regret coming here and allowing me to be this close to you with a sharp object."
Seeing you bringing the hair clipper close to his face, he reflexively closes his eyes so tightly and you hold the urge to not laugh at it.
"Oh, okay, I regret it now," he says like a frightened child left alone by his parents.
You gently place your hand on his jaw, "Stay still," you warn him.
He obeys you, keeping his head still and his eyes closed as you're carefully trimming his sideburns. You suddenly find yourself admiring his face and his beautiful features of a long, big nose and voluptuous lips.
For a split second, you so badly want to run your thumb on his lips and feel how soft they are. You did feel it once with your lips but you were too sad to notice and now you realize how much you regret it.
Before the temptation returns, you turn off the trimmer and put it away, then proceed to help brush the hair on his face and around his neck with a soft brush.
"You're all done," you announce, taking the cape from around his neck.
Chan stays on his seat as you brush the excess hair off the nape of his neck and make sure they don't stick to his skin. You put all of your equipment on the cart next to you and anticipate his reaction to your haircut.
Not trying to brag here but you did a good job here because he looks even more attractive with a fresh cut.
"Aren't you going to tell me how handsome I am and then kiss me on the cheek?" He asks while blinking his big eyes at you.
"I'm not your mom," you reply with a plain smile.
"I'm waiting for you."
When you think you already got rid of him after giving him a haircut, you see him lounging around the counter and putting on his charms for Keem. You plan on keeping it a secret that you know each other but if he starts flirting with your co-worker, then there's a possibility you'll see her walking out of his apartment the next day and it only gets messy from there. You come up to him and tug at the sleeve of his jacket, then pull him to the side.
"Why are you still here?" You ask through your gritted teeth and keeping your volume low.
"Why?"
"Because we're going out tonight," he answers.
"We?"
"And no, my panties are not in a twist," he says with a teeth-baring grin, "You can check it yourself if you want."
"Ugh. No!" You groan in refusal.
What is it about him anyway that makes the girls go crazy for him? If you're thinking with your depraved, brutal, and cavewoman brain, it must be the body that is inexplicably electric and sexually charged, braced with heavy muscles, and injected with a high dose of testosterone. In other words, he's hot, and it's hard not to be biologically attracted to him. But if you're thinking progressively and in the 21st century way, you know you should avoid this fuckboy at all costs.
"Ugh. Okay," you groan in agreement this time.
"If you don't want to go then I'll just take Keem," he says, secretly threatening not only you but also your workplace dynamic.
"I'm sure she's keem for it," he makes a pun.
And then, there's something called human error.
-
At first, Chan thought that you have that stoic expression only whenever you're around him but he was wrong. He learns that it's just your default expression and you wear it like a defense mechanism to keep the predators at bay. At least, he shouldn't worry about leaving you alone in the bar as he's working the DJ booth.
Once he's done with his set, he ignores the calls for his name and walks up to you, seeing you rather unimpressed by what he just did. What did he expect though? You're not most girls.
He taps the table, signaling the bartender to come and tend to his order, "The usual, please?"
The bartender nods and is about to turn away to make his drink when he calls for him again, "And one more for this nice lady," he adds, gesturing at you and flashing you a sly smile.
Chan turns around to face the dance floor and leans his back against the counter, "So, what do you think?"
"It was good," you answer after sipping your drink.
"You have a filthy expression on your face," he teases you and gently elbows your side, "go on, tell me what you're really thinking."
"Strangling you with my bare hands," you answer without a beat.
Chan leans in close enough that he can get a whiff of the smell of your shampoo, "so that's your kink?"
"Only when I see fear in your eyes," you answer with a wicked smile.
"Wow. You know how to excite a guy," he praises, not entirely lying about it because he gets a little excited from your snarky comments.
The bartender comes with both of your drinks and you hurriedly finish your previous one to go ahead with the next. He watches as you take a small sip and then waits to see how your nose scrunched at the bitter aftertaste.
"You're single now and maybe it's time for you to get out there, you know, find a new love," he says, secretly hoping that you'll find it in him when he looks at you.
"Hey, Chris," a girl comes and without hesitating, placing a kiss on his cheek, "Great set!"
"Thanks, Alicia," he says to the tall lady with beautiful braided hair.
"This one is on me," she says as she gives him a drink from the ones she ordered.
"Cheers then!" He says, clinking his glass with hers with his charming smile on.
The lady leaves to take the drinks away and is soon engulfed by the crowd. Chan notices that you remain calm about that interaction, and again, what did he expect?
"At least, one of us has no problems getting some tonight," you take a jab at him.
"I'm taking you out so we can have fun tonight and enjoy yourself—"
"The only way I can enjoy myself is when I'm alone."
"Oh?" He gasps and gives you a wild glare.
You roll your eyes and sigh once you realize he's taking it the wrong way, "I just want to go home and binge my favorite show and sleep," you finish your sentence with a big gulp of drink and he gets to see another nose scrunch from you.
The intention was to take you out of the apartment and perhaps, he can get you to loosen up a little bit, making this getting to know each other thing a little easier for him. It seems like he's forcing it on you and maybe it wasn't a good idea after all.
"Okay, then, we'll go home after this one," he says, lifting his glass close to his mouth.
"Or you can just stay here and do your thing, and I'm going home," you suggest a better idea after finishing your drink and you grab your bag as if you just can't wait to get out of here.
Chan is quick to grab your arm and stops you from leaving, "Hey, at least, let me finish my drink first," he protests.
"You don't have to leave with me. I can go home myself," you say to him.
"Just wait for me," he squeezes on your arm and adds, "Please?"
You consider it for a moment and then say, "I'll wait for you outside."
Since he's done a gig here, Chan has to make a proper exit out of the club, he greets a few people who work there and grabs his backpack of equipment, carrying it in his hand as he walks out of there. He finds you leaning against the street lamp and the light casts a glowing halo on your head, making you look like an angel... with a stoic expression.
He grins when you notice him coming, "Okay, I lied, there's another thing we have to do tonight," he says.
"Goodness, Chris, just bag a lady and call it a night," you groan in complaint.
Both of his eyebrows ratchet up at your words, "It has nothing to do with that."
"What is it then?" You cross your arms together in front of you.
"Only the best part of the night," he answers with a cryptic smile.
Chan knew he should have started the night with food. He can see that your mood gradually elevates with every bite you take from the delicious kebab he recommended to get after a boozy night out.
By the time you both arrive at the apartment building, you get all quiet like a drowsy child after a day out at the park and he finds it cute, especially with the way your lips slowly jutting out and you keep widening your eyes to stay awake.
"How about next Friday night we're doing it your way?" he suggests as he keeps the elevator door open for you with his back.
"If that means you'll leave me alone then yes," your eyes turn small as you politely moan into your hand.
"We're going to stay in and binge-watch your favorite show and sleep," he lists everything you mentioned earlier and an idea pops into his head.
"We'll have a pajama party!" He announces along with a poor imitation of tooting horns.
"No!" You flatly reject the idea.
"I'll bring the snacks," he offers.
You steadfastly shake your head.
"Then I'll keep knocking on your door until you let me in," he annoyingly moves into your side until he's rubbing elbows with yours.
"Then I hope you get abducted by aliens," you come out with an absurd wish and it cackles him.
"You would miss me," he confidently remarks with his signature grin.
"Doubtful. Very doubtful."
"Why?"
"I know I'd get to see you again someday—"
Chan can't help himself from smiling but little does he know, you're not done with your sentence yet.
"— in hell."
That wipes the smile off his face, "but I'm a good person. People like me," he says while making an innocent face.
"Because they don't know you, if they did, someone would have kicked your ass already."
"They'd try," Chan easily says with a nonchalant shrug, and at the same time, you both burst out laughing.
This is not flirting and he's aware there's something wrong with this interaction but you know what? He likes every bit of it.
Chan's heart sinks when it's time for the two of you to part ways and before you get to slip away from him, he tugs at the strap of your bag.
"Hey, can't wait for our pajama party," he says.
You pull your bag until the strap slips out of his hand and head to your apartment door.
"No response," he points out, "it's as a yes then."
"No!" You shout.
"So... it's a no?" He asks in confusion.
You push the door to get inside your apartment and lingers by the doorway, facing him.
"No," you cheekily respond and then close the door, leaving him with a different kind of thrill for what comes next.
-
From the way this person treats your door like a tambourine, you can safely guess that it's Chan knocking on the door for the so-called pajama party.
Ugh, why did you agree to it in the first place? It's so unlike you to let someone in on your space but it doesn't matter whether you let him or not, the boundaries have been crossed so many times that there's no such thing as personal space anymore.
Before letting him in, you check through the peephole, and just as you expected, he comes undressed, literally. He's standing on the other side of the door wearing nothing but gray sweatpants hanging low around his hips.
"Please have mercy on my eyes and put some clothes on!" You shout through the door with your hand holding the knob.
"I don't wear pajamas. This is what I wear to sleep," he responds and you can hear him faintly laughing with your ear pressed on the door.
"And what makes you think you're going to sleep at my place tonight?"
"I don't know. A hunch," he playfully responds.
"Pajama party is officially canceled!" You say through the peephole.
"Okay, okay, I'll put some clothes on," he sighs in defeat.
You watch through the peephole to see if he's really going to his apartment to change. With his broad shoulders, all hunched up, he walks back to his apartment and doesn't even bother to close the door, he grabs whatever lying close to him and puts the dark t-shirt over his head. Even under the poor lighting, the ridges of his muscles are visible and inviting you to feel it with your touch.
As though he knows he's being watched, he looks your way and then trudges his way back to your door. The first thing you see after you open the door for him is his big grin that sends his dimples sinking deep into his cheeks.
With a glare at his empty hands, you ask, "And where's the snack?"
Chan puts his arms on each side of the doorframe and leans in close, towering you with his big figure, proudly he answers, "Ma'am, I am the snack."
Can't tell if he's trying to charm you, intimidate you, or both, doesn't matter because he failed at all of them.
"But you promised!" You can tolerate people when they make jokes about anything but you can't accept when it involves food.
Chan takes his phone out of his pocket and shows it to you, "It's being delivered. See?"
Your jaws unclenched in a second and you open the door wider for him, "You may come in!" You sweetly say with a curtsy.
"Thank you, Your Majesty!" He says with a bow before steps into your apartment.
It's ironic how you prepared everything despite you were grudging it, you set the sofa, put some cushions and since he said he was bringing the food, you bought drinks for tonight.
"I have juice, soda, and beers," you list everything you have in your fridge as you're looking at it.
"We'll have the soda for now and beers for later," Chan strategically plans.
The food he ordered only lasts for two episodes and from there, you both run on beers and chips while sitting on opposite sides of each other on the couch with your feet touching.
"I like seeing white stockings on women," Chan comments after seeing the female character wearing it under her dress.
"This is why I hate watching with a man," you say in a condescending tone.
"I'm not even saying anything about her body," he defends himself and playfully rubs his foot with yours.
"Just shh..." you hush him, getting back at him by tackling his foot with yours.
The whole time the TV show is playing, your attention is on him, you're merely curious if he's genuinely invested in it or just wants to annoy you with his presence. From your observation, it seems like it's the former but the jury's still out.
"Wait, is that it?" He asks as the first season has just ended and the credit title rolls down the screen.
"That's the end of the first season," you say, starting to gather the trash on the table and put it into a plastic bag.
"But there's another season, right?" He says, looking distressed that the show ends with a cliffhanger.
"Yeah," you answer.
"Then let's watch it!" He says with a grin and slowly blinking his eyes at you.
"No, Chris, it's late," you show him the time on the screen on your phone that it's close to midnight.
"But I want to know what happens next and I need to know now," he speaks like a spoiled little brat.
You get up from the sofa to get rid of the trash, "You can watch it on your own."
Grabbing the back of your sweater, Chan pulls you hard until you plop down onto the sofa next to you then he puts his arm around you to keep you down.
"Let's just party all night, eh?" He persuades you as he leans in close to the side of your head you can feel his warm breath fanning your cheek.
You leer to the side at him and ask, "I can't make you leave, do I?"
"Not a chance," he shortly answers.
Seeing that there's no other way to make him leave but to fulfill his wish, you give in and sit back down on the sofa as Chan hits the play button.
With your stomach full and the exhaustion from the day, and you feel snug on the sofa wrapped in your blanket, you're getting drowsy as the night gets late. You manage to stay awake for two episodes but not long after that, your eyes get really heavy and you can barely keep them open anymore.
Going to rest my eyes for a bit, you tell yourself in your head but close your eyes, slowly drifting into deep slumber.
-
It's not new that Chan wakes up not knowing where he is, he lifts his head and looks around, taking in his surroundings to give him clues of his whereabouts. One look at the TV screen that shows a question whether he's still watching or not, he immediately recalls where he is, what he's doing here, and—
"Owh!" He lowly gasps as you accidentally elbow him on the ribs.
There he is, lying next to you on the sofa, your back pressed close to his chest he can feel every rise and fall of your body as you're breathing. He doesn't know how it comes to this and he's not complaining though, if anything, it's an opportunity for him to admire you up close.
Cautiously, he removes the hair covering your face to the side and takes an intimate look at your facial features, first at your eyes with your eyelashes fanning out so beautifully, he runs his fingertip down your nose and eventually at your lips which he dreams of kissing.
Do you know that you're so beautiful yet so unaware of it?
Chan gently buries his nose in your neck and inhales your heavenly scent that gets him intoxicated, putting himself in a test of restraint that he'll be likely to fail. All of a sudden, you stir in your sleep and nuzzle closer as if you're seeking warmth from his body heat.
What did he just put himself into? He frustratingly asks in his head.
Soon enough, he can feel your body start to mold against him and it feels nice, you're fulfilling his need for this closeness but unfortunately, he can't control how his body is reacting to this as it wants to do more than just being pressed close to yours.
Chan carefully places his hand on your hips and quietly, he tries to push you away to make a safe space between your bodies even though he has to suffer the loss of your warmth against him.
As if your body knows what he's trying to do, you push back even further and the curve of your ass sits right on the bulge growing inside his sweatpants, putting him at a greater risk.
"Fuck!" he mouthes in distress.
If it wasn't for the TV light that casts a hazy glow on you, he wouldn't notice that your eyes are open and you're waking up to him with his hand on your hips which he's afraid only giving you the impression that he tries to pull you close instead of the opposite.
"I—" he can't say anything without sounding like he's lying because he knows that a greater part of him wanted it, wanting you.
In the next moment, he finds your hand reaching for him and unexpectedly, you put your fingers across his lips, asking him to stop talking as you bring his head close until your lips touch. He doesn't dare to do anything but when you stroke his lower lip with your tongue, his instincts take over.
To no one's surprise, Chan claims your mouth like a starved man.
However, Chan doesn't plunge right into it, he's starting the kiss with innocent brushes of his lips on yours and teasing licks before taking your mouth once again in a deeper kiss.
When he draws back, your lips are parted on soundless gasps of desire. It takes a moment for your eyes to clear enough to focus on him and with a low voice, he says, "I couldn't resist it."
He can't waste a second without kissing you so he indulges in another dizzying kiss, "I thought about kissing you all week."
Days, weeks, months, it comes to a blur to him but he learned the agony of waiting so he counts the time until his lips can reunite with yours again, hopefully, once and for all.
"Now, I can't seem to stop," As he speaks, he threads his fingers into your hair and angles your head back. He trails kisses along your jawline, nips your chin, and kisses the corner of your mouth.
A murmur humming in your throat as he kisses you yet again and your hand flies into his hair, fingertips lazily scratching at his scalp. You suddenly pull away from the kiss and gaze into his dark eyes, "Then don't stop."
So Chan hasn't been the only one, after all.
Planting his mouth on yours again, he twines his tongue with yours, and oh... this taste, this softness, your hand in his hair, kiss after kiss after kiss.
He allows himself to run his fingertips down the length of your arm and smiles when goosebumps ripple outward. Nuzzling your neck, he breathes in the soft scent of your skin and kisses the sweet spot just behind your jaw. Your lips are calling him, but instead, he sucks on your earlobe and bites it, startling a shaky sigh from you.
He allows himself to explore more by running his hand along the length of your body, cupping the curve of your breasts, and even through the layers of fabrics, he can feel the firm buds of your nipple. He so badly wants to pinch it, love on it, but there is too much fabric in the way. He simply resolves it by slipping his hand under and he finds your soft mounds in a second, not wasting another second to fondle on it.
As he kisses you harder, and you arch into his body, you're undulating your hips against the aching bulge inside its confine, forcing him to bite back his groan.
Oh, he hasn’t wanted someone like this in... Has he ever wanted someone like this?
He reels himself back to the present, glancing down at his pale hand and your nipple caught between his fingers, it's an erotic sight indeed that he can't resist pinching it and enjoying your sharp intake of breath.
"Chris..."
The sound of his name falling from your lips is just as unexpected as it is hot. He sees you breathe through your parted lips that's swollen and glistening wet from all the kissing, and then at your wide, lustful eyes that tell him you're ready for more.
An impatient hand glides down your stomach and slips beneath the waistband of your shorts, his gentle fingers caress you with slow strokes. He is touching you there, right where you need him and you shiver, then burrow closer to him as more goosebumps dotted your skin.
"My God, you're drenched," he says and with each syllable, his lips grazed your ear.
Your body clenched hard, clenched even harder when he presses a finger deep into you, filling you. He massages your clit with lazy swirls of his thumb, making you start trembling against him.
He lowers a kiss on you again, tongue and teeth invading your mouth and that's all it takes to send you climbing quick and sharp toward your release.
His mouth finds your ear and with his hot breath tickles you, he lowly asks, "Does it feel good?”
There's no answer but you sink your teeth into your bottom lip as you throw your head back, inhaling sharply. Chan can feel tiny muscles fluttering around his fingers, and he knows you are close.
He doesn't need to see to know the answer, he can feel it with his hand, "You’re drenching my palm," he whispers again.
With your hand in his hair, you bring his head close and peck his lips, "Chris, I want it," you mutter as you pull away.
You lightly nod, "Mmh-hmm."
"It?" He asks to confirm if you're thinking of the same thing and he's not taking the wrong sign.
"Condom?"
"No need," you shortly answer, "I'm on the pill."
A jolt of excitement surges all over his body just from the thought that he'll be inside you with no layer of protection and it utterly exhilarates him that he needs to calm down for a minute. He uses the time to remove your shorts and then his sweatpants next without taking his other arm from around you.
Once he settles himself behind you, he puts his hand between your legs, lifting a leg and putting it over his hips, allowing his hard member to get between your legs. It feels a whole lot different to feel how wet you are on every inch of his length.
"Feel that?" He asks you with his mouth nestled close to your ear and his swollen cock rubbing between your folds, "I'm aching for you."
Chan kisses your mouth, your jaw, your neck as hard flesh prodding at your sex, making you stop breathing for a moment and you feel nothing but a sensuous stretching that goes on and on until he seated himself fully inside you and oh, he fits perfectly.
"It's too good. You feel– oh... I'm going to lose it," he can't comprehend what he's feeling right now.
The heat, this tightness, so perfect for him and his body asks for nothing but more and more and more of you.
Responding to his body's needs, he withdraws and then thrusts back into you, soon enough, he sets a steady pace. His free hand slides down to your bundle of nerves, touching you there for added stimulation. You grip his wrist, seemingly intending to pull him away, but your hand refuses to cooperate.
The twin assaults of his fingers and his cock that fills you full kindle a flame inside you that spread all over you like wildfire. Your mouth is parted open but all that comes out are gasps and sighs of pleasure so instead of words, you communicate how you feel through your body. You spread your thighs wider and writhe to match his thrust for thrust.
There's nothing but the sounds of his hips slapping your ass and his cock that incessantly slipping in and out of you, and he likes how he finds peace despite his body being in pure chaos.
With his mouth lingering close to your ear, he knows you hear every shudder of his breath to the lowest of his sultry moans slipped out of his mouth, and honestly, he would have been embarrassed if it weren’t for your hand tangled in his curls and keep pulling him for a kiss, before finding his hand that rests on your chest and hold it.
"Perfect..." the word tumbles out of his mouth as your fingers slip right between the spaces of his fingers and lace it together.
"Ah, ah, ah," more moans fall out of your lips as you arch into him, and through it all, your eyes locked in a gaze with his, letting him see the pure pleasure that builds up inside you.
Chan has slept with a handful of people, but he’s never been so in tune with someone's body. He’s never been so desperate to please or so elated when he hears you cry his name as you cum around him.
The high takes you over and also your ability to move, speak, and think. You curl up, making you feel smaller against him. The hand interlaced with his tightens as he speeds up the motions of his hips and with one last deep thrust, he joins you in falling apart.
Using this tender moment to pour his affection for you, he's whispering your name and kissing you softly, then slowly, he eases out of—
"No, don't!" Your hand grabs at his hips, hard, nails digging into the flesh, "Stay."
Obeying your words, Chan holds you close, limbs to limb, skin to skin, hearts lying so close to each other with mere flesh and bones in between. He doesn't know what this was, but it sure as hell was not fucking. He kisses you hard and soft to find out.
It's when he pulls away and looks into your eyes that he figures out the answer as the most incredible feeling of being loved washes over him.
-
When Chan wakes up the next morning. He registers the sunlight on his face, the distant barking of a neighborhood dog, and the delicious smell of buttered toast and coffee, it's all around him and—
It just hits him that he's waking up on your sofa and he burrows into the blanket with a happy sigh once he recalls everything that happened last night to the tiniest details, summoning the butterflies to flutter around in his stomach.
The sound of your footsteps forces him to get out of his daze and he scrambles to get up when you walk past the sofa on your way to the kitchen.
"Morning!" He cheerily greets you while covering his naked lower half with the blanket.
Without looking and with your hands tying your hair, you fainty reply to his greeting, "Morning."
You didn't reply to his level of enthusiasm but that's okay, he just doesn't expect you to be this stoic this early in the day. Instead of searching for his sweatpants, he wraps the blanket around his hips like a towel and waddles his way to the kitchen.
"You're up early," he says, noticing that it's barely seven and he knows you usually leave for work a little after eight, sometimes close to nine.
"Early appointment. Have to do a client's hair. Wedding," you concisely explain as you quietly sip your coffee from a big red mug.
It's strange, the way you speak and how your eyes are looking anywhere but in his direction. For now, he's going to think that you're just tired and not fully meeting your dose of caffeine yet
"Okay, so what's for breakfast?" He asks, excitedly tapping the dining table with his hands and grinning at you.
"Toast and coffee," you say while standing on your toes to get a glass from the top cabinet.
"Anything but coffee, please?" He politely asks, watching you walk the other way to get a carton of orange juice out of the fridge.
It's a sunny day but the room shares the same temperature as the glass of orange juice you pour into his glass. He observantly watches you, searching for any clues whether this is how you are in the morning or something is actually off with you.
There's one way to know, first, he takes a small sip of his juice to help with his dry throat and then jabs around the topic, "Last night was fun, don't you think?"
There's no answer and he can't see your reaction toward it when you're standing with your back facing him and he begins to think that it's the latter.
"I'm thinking we should do this again next Friday but I'll get to pick what we're going to watch and you bring—"
"Chris, I'm sorry but..." You swiftly turn on your feet and check the time on the clock, "I have to leave now."
"Sure, yeah, you can't be late for a wedding," he playfully says while keeps searching for your eyes to make you look at him.
You walk around your apartment to gather your things, your phone, and your wallet, stuffing them into a purse. You grab another bag which he guesses is one you usually carry for work and that only confirms that you're indeed leaving for an appointment.
"You can stay for breakfast and use the spare keys to lock the door when you leave," you say those things in a hurry as you drag your bag to the foyer.
He turns on his chair to look at you as he jokes, "We've only slept together twice and you're already giving me your apartment keys?"
Unfortunately, the jokes fall short as he hears nothing but the sound of the knob turning and you're getting out of the apartment.
"Have a great day at work!" He shouts at you but all he gets in response is the door closing and then clicks in place.
Chan can't tell anymore if you're leaving for work or you're leaving him, but it feels like he's getting his karma for always being the one leaving in the morning.
-
It's wedding season and that explains why there are a lot of scribbles on your calendar, you have a lot of appointments to do this month, and you get so busy that he's hardly seeing you lately.
Work is one thing he can understand but you can't possibly work 24 hours a day without a day off, right? At one point, he should have caught you leaving or coming home from work, whichever it is, the chance never comes to him, not even once.
Chan begins to wonder if you're avoiding him, he knows because there's a slight difference to it and it's in the purpose. You've been purposely doing things to avoid him.
With an excuse prepared in his head, Chan comes knocking on your door the next Friday night. He's been keeping your spare keys and can easily let himself in but that would be impolite, he needs to be on your good side to earn your trust.
After a few times knocking with no answer, he lets himself in but not because he has the spare keys, the door is unlocked so he figures you must be at home and doing something that makes you unable to get the door.
"Anyone's home?" He shouts into the void in your living room and hesitantly walks further inside.
Hearing the loud humming of a hairdryer, he walks to your bedroom. Unexpectedly, you're coming out as he's about to walk in.
"Oh, God!" You gasp in surprise as you hold the front of your bathrobe together, "What are you doing here?"
In contrast, Chan laughs seeing your shell-shocked expression in his presence. He then crosses his arms together and leans the side of his body against the doorframe, not forgetting to wear his grin as he answers to you, "Just checking to see if my neighbor is alive."
"Well, I'm alive," You're talking as you're taking dresses out of your closet, "and I need your help."
Looking at your mood and the way you talk normally to him, he concludes that the thought that you've been purposely avoiding him was just a silly thought after all. Other than that, you need his help and he likes being needed by you.
"I'm at your service," Chan says, permitting himself to step into your bedroom and sit on the end of your bed.
You're standing in front of him, holding up two dresses in your hands, one is a white line dress with a v-neck and the other is a body-hugging velvet dress in a deep burgundy color. Both will look good on you but he needs to know one thing before he gives his vote.
"Are we going out tonight?" He playfully asks, feeling a buzz of excitement filling him.
You turn around to face the full-length mirror while holding the dress in front of you in turn to give you ideas on how it will look on you.
"I have a date," you tell him.
Hearing that, the excitement in his body vanishes in a second and is replaced by a cold shudder of panic. He tries to laugh it off in denial.
"A–a date?" He stammers.
"Uh-huh," You end up settling the dress situation yourself by choosing to go with the white linen dress, "Can you get out of my room so I can change?"
His subconscious has the tendency to obey you, he gets up from the bed and walks out of your room, and he lingers there by the door, contemplating whether he should push the conversation or not.
"With who?" He doesn't want to know but curiosity gets the best of him.
"A guy I met at one of the weddings," you share from inside your bedroom.
"Is this—" he pauses to swallow air, "Is this your first date?"
"Yes and I'm excited," your voice grows louder and soon, the door cracks open and you reveal yourself to him, "Now, tell me I made the right choice?"
He takes a staggering step backward and asks, "On the date or the dress?"
You take a look at yourself on the round mirror hanging on the wall, "Is it too casual? No?"
For a second, Chan forgets about the direness of the situation and takes a good look at you, the dress compliments your shape so well, the hem flares up like a blooming flower and the v-cut neckline offers a modest cleavage, perfect for a first date. If he has to be honest, even without the dress, it won't make you less comely but he hates that you look this good and it's not for him.
"You look... good," he tries to make it sound like your appearance doesn't make any impression on him.
You wipe the excess lipstick on the corner of your mouth then look over your shoulder, "And the date?"
He doesn't expect you to give him the chance to say something about it and obviously, he's going to try his best to intercept your plan.
"Don't you think it's too soon?" He follows you as you head back to your bedroom then stops at the doorway as you enter the bathroom after, "To get on a date."
You take off the hair rollers nestling on the crown of your hair and your hair flows down like big springs, then brush it down with your fingers.
"You told me yourself that I should get out there and find new love," you return his words to him.
That feels like he's just slapped himself in the face. Why did he tell you that? Oh, yeah, that's because he wants you to start opening up so he can let himself in and fill that position.
"But that's not– I just didn't think..." his words trailing off as he can't exactly explain the reason why he said it, not now at least.
You put all of your hair to the front then flip it all together to the back, you're shaking the end with your fingers, sending the sweet smell of your shampoo flying around in the room.
"Didn't think what?" You curiously ask as you apply a fresh coat of lipstick on your lips, the shade is bright red like a flamethrower.
"When I said you should start finding a new love, I was hoping that you could finally see me and..." he can't find another way of telling you without saying it out loud, "perhaps, you can find it in me."
That makes you stop whatever you're doing and turn around on your feet, leaning against the bathroom counter, you look at him in eerie silence, and then out of nowhere, a laugh bursts out of you.
"Chris, stop playing!" You brush past him on the way out of the bathroom.
He's trailing behind you as you pick up a purse from a collection of them in your closet, "I'm not playing," he assures you.
"Okay, yeah, I trust you," you half-heartedly respond, heading out and going to the foyer to pick your shoes next.
"Can you please look at me?" He pleads as he waits for you to make up your mind with your choice of shoes.
"Just look at me, please?" He begs again, desperately.
You take your chosen shoes and hold them in one hand as you hold his gaze, "Okay, I'm looking at you."
In those fierce eyes, Chan finds the courage to assess his feelings and tries to fathom them into words. He inhales air before letting it out in a long, low sigh.
"Don't go on that date," he demands.
"Why?"
"Because I want you here."
"Chris, that's not a good enough reason," you say with a low laugh.
He gently places his hands on each of your elbows and tenderly stares into your eyes, "Then go ahead, ask me that one question."
"What question?"
"Ask me what are we," he steadily holds your gaze even though he feels a whirlwind in his head and chaos stirring inside his chest.
You brush it off with a laugh, "Why should I ask you—"
"Just ask me the question!" He accidentally raises his voice at you and immediately lowers his voice after, he looks down to take a breather before looking back into your eyes, "Ask me what are we!"
It feels like an eternity waiting for you to ask him that but he has the patience and an answer to that, he only needs you to ask him that.
You drop the shoes onto the floor and take a step forward, you hold his gaze as he holds his breath. Deep down, he knows that you'd have to be blind to not see the light of affection in his eyes.
To his dismay, you unexpectedly retreat and pick up everything with you toward the door. With your back turned to him, you say, "I don't want to be late for the date."
-
It's been an hour since he came back from your apartment and he's still stuck in the denial stage. He's lying in the dark and stares at the ceiling of his bedroom, ignoring his phone that's been tirelessly blaring with notifications.
It's not a rejection if you don't give him a definite, abundantly clear answer, right? Besides, there's a chance that the guy blew the date and you can see that he's the better man. Is he though? Is he any better?
There are two ways to handle this situation. One, he can try to forget all about it, hit call back on one of the girls contacting him right now, get out of here, and distract himself with a physical release. Or two, wait because there's something in him that tells him to wait just a little longer.
But wait for what? Wait until you return from your date? Wait until he sees it happens, you with your new beau, all lovey-dovey next door?
It seems like he's finally progressed into the next stage: anger.
Every thought that crosses his head right now is not nice and he needs an outlet for this anger. He shoots up from the bed, he starts pacing back and forth in the room, hands balled into fists, he gets this urge to punch something, he wants to— No, he can't wait with this ugly feeling slowly taking over him and driving him insane.
"Fuck this," he curses out loud into the void in his apartment, he picks up his phone and texts someone about meeting up tonight.
While typing a text, knocking comes on his door, and whoever it is, they'd better not piss him off or— the knocking comes again, he exhales air out of his mouth to calm down and walks in heavy steps to get the door.
It seems as if his anger wasn't there in the first place, the second he opens the door and sees you, all of those nasty thoughts vanish into thin air.
You're carrying your shoes in one hand and the other is holding one side of the doorframe. You look at him with a smile ever so softly blooms on your face, "So..."
See? It wasn't a rejection. He just needed to wait a little longer and God, he was glad he did.
"So...?" He asks back, holding the urge to smile back at you.
You daringly stare into his eyes as you take a step into his apartment, "So... what are we, Chris?"
It's crazy how your magnetic field is so strong that he can't stand being this close to you and not touching you, his hesitant hands are reaching for you, they retreat and give, doing it for a while until you drop everything off your hands and put your hands around his shoulders. Indirectly permitted him to put his hands on you.
"What are we, mmh?" You ask again with your eyes flickering like they hold stars in them.
"We are..." he considers to let the truth out but what's the fun in that? He needs to get back at you for making him doubt everything earlier, "Neighbors."
"No," you shake your head in disagreement, "You're definitely going to say something else."
Luckily, he's strong enough to hold you steady as you put your whole weight against him, leaving not even an inch of gap between your bodies.
"Someone still has her panties in a twist," he playfully responds with his charming grin on, dimples and all.
"Shame on you because I don't have any panties on," you say with your small smile turning into a broad one.
His eyes widen in slight shock, and his hand automatically glides downward, landing a caress on the curve of your ass and slipping under the hem of your dress to check whether your words are true or not. His fingers edge at the lacy fabric of your underwear and it turns out to be the latter.
"Ugh, you're lying!" He groans in complaint but it doesn't make him less happy, he's elated, and his heart is about to burst.
"Partly."
"How so?"
"Because you're about to take them off," you shamelessly say.
Chan wants to let go of all the things that hold him back. He brings both of your lips together, he kisses you like you're oxygen and he's short on air. He runs his hands down your back to your hips, cupping your sweet ass, and pulls you even closer. You struggle to get closer as he kisses you deep and hard your head tilted to the back, you weave your fingers through his hair as you pour yourself into the kiss.
Everything that happened before this is in the past now, all he knows now is your taste and the hot sighs of your breath, and then this irrepressible want to devour you.
"I'm going to carry you to bed," Chan's plush lips brushing yours as he speaks.
The idea of carrying you to bed is highly appealing to him at the moment. He likes holding you and as messed up as it was, he wants to throw you onto the bed, in the most respectful way.
"Then what are you waiting for, kangaroo boy?"
A sharp gasp escapes your mouth as he swoops you into his arms and carries you in the direction of the bedroom. You have your arms looped around his neck to hold onto and place kisses along his jaw all the way to his bedroom.
Instead of throwing you onto the bed like he planned, he throws both of you onto the bed and it quakes, he immediately props an elbow against the mattress to not put his weights on you.
"God, you're so beautiful," his sigh tells how overwhelmed he is by what he's seeing and what a privilege that he's able to place kisses on such beauty.
When you try to gasp a mouthful of air, he breathes it into you with his hand resting on your jaw, you look up at him, and a starburst of emotion expands inside him. He thinks you see it in his eyes because you softly smile at him.
Giving you time to breathe, he shifts his focus elsewhere, he kisses and sucks on your neck, all the while his hands are keeping your body closely pressed against him, making you aware of the firm flesh prodding your crotch through his blue jeans.
The next thing is his mouth searching for the source of the heat and your body goes into total system failure as his mouth inches closer to where you want him. Between your thighs, you flush and tingle with wanting.
"This smell..." he hums as he buries his nose in your clothed sex, making you able to feel every sharp intake of air he inhales through his nose.
He pries his mouth open and plants it on your heating wetness, not caring about the lacy fabric that blocks him from tasting it raw.
"Mmh..." he deeply hums again, almost like the low roar of a wild animal hunting at night, "I want this smell all over me."
The intensity of your desire frightens and embarrasses you at the same time, you need a little control but control is gone when Chan tugs the waistband of your underwear between his teeth and begins to pull it down your legs.
He places his hands on the back of your thighs and slowly, lifts both of your legs upward as he keeps biting your underwear. You're watching as he tries to take it off of you with such determination.
Once he succeeds, he grabs the underwear from between his teeth and holds it up to show you his latest conquest, "Twisted panties no more," he says with a sly grin.
Instead of tossing it aside, he puts the underwear into the back pocket of his jeans, "I'm keeping it."
There are so many layers of clothing keeping him from feeling your skin but he can start by removing his t-shirt, having no problems showing you his taut muscles and his pale skin that reddens around the chest, neck, and both ears.
Next, Chan grabs your knees, he pulls them apart to bare your sex to his eyes and his chest expands on a sharp inhalation. The look on his face tells it all, he wants you, he wants you so bad that he swallows air, sending his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat.
It's the first time that he gets to see it open and bare, gushing with essence, tantalizing. He leisurely takes his time to admire it while plotting things he wants to do to it.
He rubs his hands down the sides of your thighs and lowly sighs, without his eyes straying away from the sight between your legs, he says, "You have the prettiest little—”
He thinks he's imagining it but he's not the only one hearing knocks on his apartment door. Sensing someone else's presence, your legs instinctively shut and you pull the hem of your dress down.
"Chris, are you expecting someone?" You ask with your forehead wrinkled in question.
"No," he shortly answers, he doesn't want you to think that he's waiting for someone else other than you, "I don't—"
The knocking comes again a while later, a little too aggressive that both of you can't ignore it anymore.
"Someone is knocking on your door," you say.
"Yeah, but I swear, I don't—"
You place your hand on his waist and look at him, "well, then, get the door and find out."
He'd rather have someone sawing him off of you than having to voluntarily get away from you, whoever this person is will be responsible for what's not going down at this moment.
"Only if you promise you won't change your mind," he tells you with a sly smirk.
"If you don't hurry and get the door, I might," you say back.
"Stay still. Don't move. Not even an inch," he pecks your lips for every warning with both hands cupping your face. He plants another long peck on your lips before dashing toward the front door and thinking of just sending this person away so he can get back to you.
This is where he makes a mistake. He doesn't check through the peephole and opens the door right away, having the faintest idea that catastrophe awaits on the other side of the door.
"Ah, there you are!" The girl says, jumping at him and immediately locking lips with him.
It happens so fast that by the time Chan registers it, the girl pulls away but keeps her arms looped around his shoulders.
"I came here as soon as I received your text," she grabs his chin and kisses his slacked-open mouth, "I hope I didn't make you wait long."
On the other end of the room, he hears your footsteps coming and soon, you come into his sight. You look so calm and he'd prefer a raging sea because with calm water, he never really knows what he's dealing with.
With an enigmatic smile, you look at him and say, "You know what, Chris? I change my mind."
-
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