#bts snow | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

daichiduskdrop · 3 months

Text

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚⋆·˚ ༘ *𝙎𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 ⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

• Chapter 38

Pairing: BTS Ot7 X fem! reader

Genre: A/B/O AU, Fluff, Angst, Strangers to lovers,

Warnings: more angsty than usual, mentions of self worth, abandonment

Words: 3557

Taglist: @thelilbutifulthings @ilovemoneymorethenmen @singukieee @cherrysainttt @felicityroth @mageprincess7 @lucis-noctiana @danielle143 @osakis-gf @girl-nahh @vintageoldfashionstyle-blog @neverthefirstchoice @juju-227592 @silentreadersthings @i-have-no-life-charlie @everyonehatesshani @iamkookiesforyou @dragonsflare @fangirl125reader @roseidol @frieschan @popcatx0 @liz67900 @exfolitae @plexcaffeinate @strawblueberrys @massivelyfullenthusiast @iimichie

I might have forgotten someone, please let me know and I'll add you, the list is open :)

So sorry for such a long break I took. I can't make any promises about updates until my finals, but I hope all is well with you. Please let me know if I'll forget any details in the chapters upcoming ;-;

⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *

„I wasn't sure which you'd prefer cub, so ...I got many.” The man of usual confidence spoke subtly, scratching his arm as he observed your wide eyes at the array before you.

The large plushy bed had different packages of all colours and styles laid on it; there had to be at least 20 different pieces to choose from—colourful, bold, minimalistic, and more simple cuts—all available.

You knew Jin was thoughtful and truly a caring man, an alpha of the right mind, and seeing all the different options he allowed you to have, just for the sake of your comfort, hit you deeper than you would expect.

You cried so much that day; you were exhausted from doing it over and over, and even as you wished you could just stop with these bothersome happenings, you couldn't help the small tears that brimmed your eyes as you looked at the nervous man.

The shiny eyes you gave him worried him immediately. Did you not like what he chose? Has he chosen too little or too much? Were you overwhelmed?

„Cub, baby, no, no, don't cry, I-”

As he reached for you, his arms grasping at your shoulders, you looked away, quickly wiping at your eyes as you sat at the side of the bed, the alpha doing so too right away.

„I'm sorry, Jin.” You oh so quietly whispered as you watched your hands on your lap, the alpha's hand coming to cover yours, his thumb rubbing over the soft skin.

He gulped away the slight shock of you using just his plain name instead of the honorific you seemed to prefer, though he would be a liar saying he didn't like it either.

„...What for? You don't need to apologise; you never did a thing wrong, you know that, right?” The worried gaze of the older man, as he softly spoke, searched yours, but to no avail.

"I'm sorry, it's so complicated with me.”

„What? Sweetheart you-”

„No, I mean it, Jin, I'm sorry that.. that I cry so much and I require all of these things you would never have to worry about before hand, that I'm so sensitive and closed of, that I bother you too much... I'm just sorry, okay?”

The drop that happened this afternoon took a toll on you; all could recognise, but the eldest didn't expect this—he didn't expect that you would start to apologise.

Apologise for the things they never would mind about you—all that could only strengthen your bond and help it solidify. Let them care for you. Did you not understand how much they needed you? You should depend on them; let them, for once in their lives, truly freely indulge in the option to care for someone else, fill their needs, and stop holding back.

„Y/N, don't ever say sorry for something that isn't to apologise for, okay?” His voice was soft, his palm squeezing yours gently. But you didn't answer, only a small shrug leaving you.

„...You know, when I was younger, before we debuted, it was so difficult to be an alpha, I mean. We would train all the time, have no time to create relationships, and hardly had time for our family packs, yet our relationship wasn't as strong as it is today, as you can imagine... It was a mess, a true mess.”

The low timber of his voice washed over you as you allowed yourself to listen to his calm voice. He wasn't fretting over you, staying serious and communicative instead of letting the sometimes overwhelming mindset of his second gender take over, much like they usually would when it came to you.

„Jungkookie was just a boy back then; he still went to his school, but I think it took the toll on him the greatest—me and the olders like Yoongi and even Minnie and Tae all already started to grow more self-sufficient; we all stopped being so dependent on our family packs, making the transition smoother, but gosh, ...Kook-ah was just too young.”

You recognised the regret in his voice, the way his voice lightly shook as he looked at the ceiling, blinking rapidly—he too was about to cry, you could tell. Yet as you were about to reach your hand from his and console him like he has done so many times for you, Jin looked over, a small yet smiley, watery frown on his face.

„No peaches, let me finish telling you about this; it's so important for you to know,” and you could only nod slightly, this time your fingers tightening upon his „about how much you help, I think you don't even realise.”

„He barely presented when we started as trainees, and we were all alphas, BigHit mostly highers alphas and betas only, especially for idols, so Jungkook hardly ever got to care for someone, anything really, and I regret ever letting him do it to himself, god, you don't understand how much I do.”

As one of the most beautiful eyes you've ever seen shed their first tear, the elder too was quick to wipe them away, mimicking just what you had done a while earlier.

„We could never fill that role for him; I could do so much for him—act as an older brother, be there for him during his graduation ceremony, and whatnot—but he was just so desperate to have a soul to care for... that, that we could never give to him.

And we needed one like that too, but no matter who BigHit would hire, gosh, it was just so uncomfortable, you can't even imagine. But that was the most we could ever get, unless we would have someone sign NDA's and other bullshit you just don't bring up on the first date, you know?”

The alpha sighed, reviving the old memories he had buried so long ago.

„Sometimes we would unintentionally just start coddling Kook too; he was the youngest, and it just happened on its own, but then later, as we got older, he would snap at us, all valid though looking back at it now...

I just... Y/N I just want you to know that we had never ever, and I promise you, I've met many, gotten around to such a precious gem like you are. Whatever we do with you just feels right, and you must understand, please, that you are far more precious to us than you'd ever think you are. And I'm so sorry we don't let you know enough.”

Jin looked your way, his eyes once again searching yours, now with much more vigour and need. He needed you to know just how well you filled that deep hollow carved in their chest throughout the years of disappointment and sadness.

„Jin-”

„I'm serious, Y/N. I would never lie to you about this. How could I? I know people didn't treat you the way they should; I know you are hurting deep inside; and I know one conversation like this just won't smooth the hurt away, and I'm so, so, very sorry it's that way. I'm sorry they hurt you, my precious cub, and I promise I'll never let you hurt alone again. Just let us be there for you, truly.”

This time, his voice was firm, his eyes holding yours until they blurred with tears. You felt sorry for them, for Jungkookie being so lonely, and you felt sorry for them, for you believed they deserved so much better than you could ever be there to offer.

And so you could only reach out for him, your hands clasping to his shoulders as the alpha lifted you over to his lap, letting both his and your tears cascade, soft sniffles and sobs filling the room.

The eldest held you like you were just the finest, most perfect work of art he was blessed to lay eyes upon. With care and the upmost love the man could offer, you deserved it all.

He let his chin rest upon the top of your head, and as you hid in the crook of his neck, your nose resting close to the scent gland offering a mean to calm you, you noticed a sad undertone you didn't recognise that well there, too close for your comfort.

Jin was upset; he was upset at how little you thought of yourself, how complicated your life has been, and how terribly the people meant to cherish you would treat you. He was so upset and just wished to take all the hurt you so delicately stored in your heart away and just heal you in his arms.

„...I just am s-so scared of getting attached... and losing you, oppa.” Your gentle voice against his ears, the reality of all the issues, drops, and tears shared with you and the pack downing on him.

You didn't want to let yourself be comforted deep inside, letting their words heal just the surface of the problems while the calm waves above hid the true storm below.

Gosh, he should have realised, Jin cursed himself as he held you just closer.

„Oh, Y/N, we would never leave you, sweetheart, never... Have you not seen how much we grew to you over time? We need you so much, Y/N, you can't even imagine.”

The man known for his confidence once again seemed to have lost his words, though his actions spoke louder as he just held you closer, letting the tears fall as his soft tears turned into loud sobs, holding you to his chest.

You let your legs wrap around his slim waist, the alpha answering by squeezing you even more, as if you were to disappear, to hurt when he wouldn't be there to offer his hold.

Not many times were offered for you to learn to comfort and console someone, but with them, it felt different, open, and never uncomfortable to do actions you'd never even think you'd ever even try with anyone else.

And so, you allowed your second gender tendencies to guide you, your own cheek flush against his neek and jaw as you rubbed your scent over the scent gland, sending distressed waves through the room.

Just as you were in the middle of the scenting, hopefully helping the alpha calm down, a soft knock sounded on the doors, followed by a deep voice you grew to recognise easily.

„Hyung? Kitten, is everything okay?”

To be truthful, the man sensed something wrong all too long ago, and so as he, Jungkook and Hoseok were preparing the little snacks like popcorn and drinks to have during the movie night, he felt his heart strings twitch.

But all seemed well around the kitchen and so in the living room, as Jimin and Taehyung argued about whether they should watch the first movie with Japanese dabing or Korean dabing with Japanese subtitles.

He couldn't see Namjoon, a soft frown settling upon his smooth complexion. Though he heard the close doors shut, he could smell the pack alpha approaching, just with a package in his arms, the two younger alphas gasping upon seeing him.

And so, that only left you and Jin, and after a while of the slight distress going through the bond, Yoongi grew worried the others would pick upon it too.

Not that he didn't want them to not know whatever was going on, but if it regarded you, he noticed how the large group could be just too much sometimes, and so he abandoned the softly popping popcorn, letting Hobi take over as he went to investigate.

As he came closer to Jin's bedroom, only then could he recognise the alpha's upset scent, shocking the younger. He realised he had only seen the eldest cry a handful of times and heard the soft sobs coming behind the room—no, that wasn't the sweet omega they grew to pamper over time; that was his hyung, an alpha who holds back his tears until the very last strength he holds, until he crumbles.

And for once in a long time, the usually calm and composed man grew unsure of his next steps. Should he let him be, or should he come in, one or another? But the moment he heard your sniffles, he decided to knock.

After his voice, it was quiet for a bit, and when he got no response, Yoongi gently cracked the doors open, a sudden heavy, distressed, and sad scent clouding his senses.

The man's eyes widened, yet he didn't peer into the room, choosing to face it sideways, as if to give you privacy. He wasn't there to giggle at your sadness; he wasn't there to oogle at you and tease you both later. No, he was there to help.

„Hey,... Hey, is everything okay? Should I go grab someone?” The slight unsureness of his voice made it easy to decipher that he did not know how to approach the situation. His hyung was an alpha after all; it would only do more damage if he started comforting him, and neither did Yoongi necessarily want to do so.

„N-No, it's okay, you can come in.” You had never heard Jin stutter, and the soft and defeated voice he held squeezed your heart.

The doors shut soon after, and it took a few seconds for the younger to compose himself, seeing the dishevelled older alpha and how softly you were scenting him. Even in the darkened mood, Yoongi saw the light; you looked comfortable, comforting the older. Another step towards the hopefully near future.

„...What happened?” He asked softly, coming closer with shuffling steps, his loose sweats, and a hoodie matching the sluggish movement of his.

The man too sat down next to you both; instead of hugging the elder, he chose to let his fingers gently comb through your hair and instead put soft eyes over the pair. Only then did you stop the profound scenting; your glossy eyes, too glossy for the alpha's liking, took hold of his worried gaze.

„...It's okay...me and oppa talked about some stuff.;” It was you who spoke up as Jin's soft sniffles quieted down, his hold lightly loosening as he sat up better.

The teary soft smile he gave you was heartbreaking, but you understood well what his eyes said: „We would never abandon you, never in a million years.”

And you felt comforted. You trusted the man with all you had; the littlest amount of trust you could offer was all theirs.

„I'm sorry, Yoongi-ah, I didn't mean to cry like this.” The bitter chuckle that left the elder had the other alpha in slight shock, his cat-like eyes widening.

„Hyung, I don't..." yet his sentence didn't follow, the man choosing to stay quiet, his palm falling upon the elder's arm in a small squeeze, possibly to comfort, acknowledge, or both.

Yoongi would lie if he said he didn't feel like crying at least once because of the hurt you stored in your fragile heart. He had never felt that way, which confused him slightly. He would have never cried because someone took their problems out on the one he grew to care for. Sure, he would have been angry, but not in the same way as with you.

„...Let's talk downstairs, okay? That way, you don't have to repeat anything uncomfortable.” Jin's lightly raspy voice sounded, and the softest peck imaginable landing just at your temple. A last squeeze was shared between you two as you slowly climbed out of bed. The other alpha was quick to take hold of your left hand as the eldest held your right.

And as you came closer to the living room, full of soft and sweet ruckus, the first to notice the reddened cheeks on Jin was the youngest, the doe eyes widening as he gasped a soft „Hyung!” abandoning the chip packet and approaching quickly.

Your eyes also shined too much for his liking, but before he could voice any distress, the second-eldest shushed him already.

„Let's all talk together, Koo.” Yoongi's voice was firm, shutting any questions about to spill as the others worried glances fell upon both Jin and you.

It didn't take long before you all took a seat upon the couches; all could be dispersed yet sticking together, your seat between the olders. Hobi was quick to offer you both a tissue or two, his distressed eyes set watching closely, as if to seek a way he could allow himself to help once.

None of the others were any better, just wishing to hold you close and never have to worry about anything wrong coming your way ever again. God, they'd do anything if it meant you'd be safe and sound.

"...Me and Jin oppa had a talk, and I...” Your soft voice, starting confident, seemed to grow colder and more shaky with each passing word, dying out too soon for their liking.

But with the men's fingers holding yours closer if possible, you continued, describing just how sorry you were for all the worry you put them through whenever they would take you out and how difficult you were, voicing your worries and distress.

"...I'm so scared, so scared of how much I rely on you, and I'm just so worried you'll be gone soon, and I just don't want to be alone again.” You didn't dare look up for the entire time of your rant, thought before you knew it, just before you an alpha fell to his knees.

Jungkook, his bright eyes shining with tears as he too softly cried, much like many of the others.

„Y/N, baby..” The gaze of pure heartbreak he gave you had you looking away, his hands holding your cheeks to make you look back at him again, tears welling up in both his and your eyes, hands trembling with emotion. The pack members exchanged pained glances, realising the depth of your fear of being alone.

"I know... I know you all care for me. And that's what scares me the most—the thought of losing this, losing all of you. I don't think I could live again."

The youngest too broke into sobs just as the elder had before, his arms taking you from the pair as he gently pulled you to his lap, his nose hidden in the very crook of your neck, his body tense with sorrow.

He could never forgive himself for not being there for you when you needed them the most.

The entire pack mourned with sorrows, and even after the others calmed down over time, the pack alpha, the quickest to recover from having to constantly blink his tears away, would envelop you both in his embrace, the softest shushes leaving his lips as he promised on his life that he would never leave you.

„...alpha would never lie to you, my sweetest love; you know that, right? I'll always be here, for all you need.”

And soon after, Namjoon pulled both of you back onto the couch, letting the youngest latch onto you, the omega he grew to desire and need over the time shared, as the packalpha rubbed the small of your back, a touch of comfort.

You didn't cry; just a few sniffles left you ever so often, yet you shook like a feather in the wind realising how open you were about yourself after such a long time.

Years it took you to be vulnerable with someone other than your throughts, and years it took for you to find someone in your life who didn't take advantage of you even then.

And so, as it dawned on you just how purehearted the pack was, you allowed yourself to truly relax and be truly assailable yet with no fear, a luxury you never realised was foreign.

When Jimin leaned over to softly ask you if you still wanted to watch the movie, you nodded, sending the man a reassuring smile. The alpha smiled back, gently wiping away any tears astray on your cheeks as he held out a blanket for you to cuddle under, a soft thank you leaving you, letting the older tuck you under. Jungkook was quick to shuffle under the warmth too.

Not long after did all the alphas rest into comforting places, though to be truthful, all in the end unconsciously formed around you, your soft body closely held in the very centre, like the most precious gem, just as Jin described earlier, laid in the deepest of the dragon's lair.

When the first Harry Potter movie started playing, the Japanese subtitles turned on, even if you didn't need them, for you was a thought that mattered; the alphas took you into consideration, and you appreciated it more than you'd allow yourself to think you'd do.

Hobi would lean over, whispering soft, teasing comments about how each character was a bit too silly to begin with, telling you about your house, a true Hufflepuff he claimed, and joking around softly with the new words created in the universe. And deep down you knew he was trying to cheer you up.

You grew to like the story of the movie, not even realising how much time has passed, tiredness coming over you when your eyes fluttered shut, the last memory of the night of Jungkook's arms gently wrapped around your waist, his chest warming up your back as he whispered into your ear with a soft timber:

„Sleep tight, bunny. I love you so much.” Sealing his promise with a soft kiss to the top of your head.

⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *