#bucky x qod!reader

[helaintoloki]

Punching Bag

pairing: Bucky Barnes x qod!reader

warnings: language, some angst, slight fluff, shorter chapter than usual

notes: a continuation of the queen of disaster series // I know this chapter is kind of bleak but it’s for the plot dw

summary: you think Bucky is underestimating you, and sometimes you’re too stubborn for your own good

“Your form is sloppy and your stance is weak. Again,” Natasha demands firmly before returning the punching pad to her chest for you to strike. After an intense hour of conditioning your muscles were aflame, aching and groaning with each powerful movement, but you couldn’t take a break. There were no breaks on missions, and the bag guys wouldn’t call a time out just because you were tired, so you buckled down and pushed through the painstaking training.

“Good,” she compliments your improvements, and just when you think your body is about to collapse Natasha signals for you to stop.

“Oh, thank god,” you pant, immediately falling back onto the mat below to catch your breath. From above you Natasha shakes her head and nudges your ribs lightly with the toe of her shoe.

“You’re not done yet. You still have to do a live session of sparring.”

“Tasha, I’m dying. Can’t we do it tomorrow?” You whine, and she rolls her eyes in response.

“You’re not dying, you big baby. Now get up.”

“But I’ve already fought you like a gazillion times!”

“Who said you were fighting me?” Natasha retorts with a raised brow. You gulp.

“Who am I fighting then?”

At that moment an unsuspecting Bucky enters the training facility, towel flung over his shoulder and gallon of water in hand. However, the moment he meets your expectant gazes he turns on his heels and attempts to make a quick escape.

“Nope.”

“Barnes,” Natasha calls firmly, and with a small huff the super soldier begrudgingly trudges over to you both. “I need you to be y/n’s sparring partner.”

“No.”

“I wasn’t asking.”

“No offense kid, but I don’t think you’re ready to fight me,” Bucky argues, feeling a tad bit guilty at the look of hurt that quickly flashes over your features.

“And why not?” You challenge stubbornly. “I’m just as good a fighter as you.”

“I’m a super soldier with a metal arm. You’re gonna get hurt.”

“Bullshit! Fight me right now!” You challenge, jumping back up on your feet before boxer bouncing in circles around your new opponent.

“Oh, boy,” Natasha sighs, already regretting her choices.

“I’m not going to fight you,” Bucky replies calmly. He does nothing when you shove at his chest, doesn’t even budge, but you’re still determined to prove that you can handle whatever is thrown your way.

“Do it, coward.” Another shove. Bucky rolls his eyes.

“Y/N.” You swing and miss when Bucky ducks his head, and your frustration is only growing.

“You spar with Natasha all the time! Why can’t you fight me?!” You demand, your emotions getting the best of you. Why won’t he try you? What is he so afraid of? Does he not think you’re capable of defending yourself? Does he think you’re weak? Does he think-

Bucky’s knuckles come into contact with your cheek and you’re out like a light. You don’t get to see his horrified expression or hear his hurried apologies as Natasha rushes off to find Bruce.

When you open your eyes again you find yourself back in bed, something cool pressed against your aching cheek. What happened?

“Oh, thank god,” a voice exclaims beside you, and as the darkness begins to fade from your vision you see that it’s Bucky.

“Bucky? What the hell happened?”

“You always duck. I threw a punch because I thought you’d at least be able to doge it if not block it completely. But you were so in your head that you didn’t even see it coming, and the next thing I knew you were out cold,” Bucky rambles. “Don’t ever scare me like that again, you hear me?”

“Why didn’t you want to fight me?” You question abruptly, eliciting an annoyed glare from the man beside you.

“That’s what you’re worried about?!”

“Tell me.” It’s quiet then, a blanket of tension in the air that’s tucked away the minute Bucky let’s out a long sigh.

“I know you can take care of yourself, kid. I know you can handle your own. I’ve seen it a hundred times before. But accidents happen. And I didn’t want one to happen with you because I’d never be able to forgive myself.”

“Oh...” you mumble in response

“Yeah, ‘oh,’” Bucky mocks softly whilst running his hands through his hair in distress. “But the exact thing I was trying to avoid happened anyway. You’re so god damn stubborn sometimes, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told,” you hum softly in an attempt to lighten the mood. “You know I don’t blame you for what happened, right? Bucky?”

“You should get some rest,” he says suddenly before rising from his seat by your bed. He checks to make sure the ice pack is secure and doing its job, stopping to rest his flesh hand tenderly upon your non-injured cheek. A mixture of fondness and guilt meet your gaze as you look up into his cloudy eyes, and you can’t stop yourself from leaning into his touch.

“Bucky?”

“I’ll go get Bruce to come check on you,” he murmurs quietly. You suppress a whine as he removes his hand from your face and turns to walk out the door. Swimming in his head are thoughts of agony and guilt. Yes, it had been an accident, and yes, he hadn’t meant to, but it had still happened. He had hurt you, knocked you out cold, done the very thing he was afraid of, and it made him feel sick to his stomach.

Bucky shuts the door behind him, leaving you alone and utterly conflicted.

tags: @rororo06 @bbyspiiice @tofeartheunknown @thefallenbibliophilequote @ahappylilybug2019 @iamaunicorn4704 @dumbbitch11 @starstruckgardenstudentzonk

[helaintoloki]

Someone Better

(Queen of Disaster Series)

pairings: Bucky Barnes x qod!reader, some Steve Rogers x reader and some Thor x reader

warnings: language, angst, fluff, insecure Bucky :(

notes: if you guys have any ideas/requests/hc’s you’d like to see played out in the series let me know! // a continuation of the queen of disaster series

summary: Bucky has finally accepted that he likes you. But does your heart already belong to someone else?

Bucky Barnes knows that he likes you.

But what he also knows is that he doesn’t stands a chance with you.

You’re complete opposites, first of all. The Winter Soldier and the Queen of Disaster are two names that should never be put together- unless, of course, you’re purposefully trying to create chaos. Bucky isn’t the kind of man you want. Stoic, closed off, struggling every day to pacify the demons that toil with his sanity. You want someone who can keep up with you, who can match the endless amount of energy you carry, someone who isn’t so uptight and stiff. You want someone who will hold you close and keep you safe at night, not someone who might choke you in your sleep as a result of their night terrors.

Maybe you deserve someone like Steve.

“Come on, Cap! Move your feet!” You encourage, your bright laughter causing the soldier to break out into an embarrassed grin. The speakers of the common room blast a song Bucky has never heard before played by a band the old timer is unfamiliar with.

“My moves aren’t exactly what they used to be, kid,” Steve chuckles bashfully. His big feet step on your toes for the tenth time that day and he cringes at his mistake, but if you notice it you don’t seem to mind his screw up.

The Winter Soldier walks in to see the couches have been pushed back in order to create a makeshift dance floor, and at the center stands a flustered Steve trying to keep up with your movements. Your face is flushed with modest droplets of sweat coating your forehead, stray hairs escaping your ponytail and sticking to the back of your neck. Steve dips you, blue eyes never leaving yours in fear that he may drop you if he isn’t careful, and by god if the laughter that escapes you at the act isn’t the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard. Bucky’s never heard you laugh like that before, and he’s never seen you so carefree and happy. Would you ever let him hold you like that?

“Oh, Bucky!” You exclaim, finally noting his presence. From your view he appears to be upside down, causing you to giggle further. “It’s a good thing you’re here! I’ve been introducing Steve to new songs and dances all day. You should join us!”

“I don’t really dance,” is Bucky’s half assed reply, and it earns him a mock pout from you.

“Nonsense! I can’t feel my toes anymore on account of how many time’s Steve has stepped on them but I’m still having a good time. Come on!” You try again.

“Loosen up a bit, Buck,” Steve agrees with a friendly smile, and Bucky had never wanted to punch his friend more in his entire life than he did now. But it wasn’t Steve’s fault, and it wasn’t yours either. You deserved a good man like Steve, he would treat you right, keep you safe when the monsters came out at night. Captain America stood a better chance at winning your heart than the Winter Soldier ever did.

“Maybe some other time,” Bucky counters dejectedly, quickly fleeing the scene before the two of you can argue further.

He finds out later that the song Steve had so frivolously dipped you to was a song performed by the Contours- Do You Love Me (Now That I Can Dance). How ironic.

Bucky spends the rest of his evening quietly listening to the song as he imagines what it would be like to dance with you.

Maybe you don’t end up with Steve, but Bucky knows he won’t be next in line to contend for your heart. Maybe you’ll succumb to Thor’s charm and strength.

“Here?” Thor asks. Your eyes raise slowly from your book and glance towards the ground from where you sit.

“Little more to the left,” you direct. It’s then that Bucky walks past your room, stopping in the open doorway flabbergasted at the sight before him. With only one arm is Thor lifting your sofa, and on top of it you sit reading your favorite book as if being carried on your couch by a brawny god is an everyday occurrence for you. The Asgardian does not so much as produce one single droplet of sweat nor does he show any signs of difficulty lifting your furniture. The sight is oddly domestic in a sense, and it makes Bucky’s stomach churn. Sure, he was a super soldier. But there was no comparison there when it came to Thor.

“Here you are, sweet y/n,” Thor announces with a smile, carefully setting you back down. The fondness in his eyes is clear as day as he gazes upon you, and it’s obvious there must be something there. Could there already be something there? “I hope it is to your liking.”

“Thank you Thor, I don’t know what I’d do without your help,” you reply gratefully. Thor was strong, his heart was big enough to encompass an undying love for you if it ever came to that point, and he literally could treat you like royalty. You don’t notice Bucky’s retreating form, and no one says a word about the extra hours he begins putting in at the gym after that.

Falling in love with someone could be complicated, but that was an understatement when it came to Bucky Barnes. Was the Winter Soldier even capable of having a love life? Could a monster who had created countless widows and orphaned thousands of children really be deserving of your love? Or was he doomed to continue his self inflicted penance until his very last breath?

James Barnes didn’t want to know.

~~~

Bucky is half asleep when you make your presence known in his bedroom at three in the morning, prodding his cheek with your index finger and urging him to scoot over. Annoyed but compliant, the soldier does as you wish and allows you the refuge you seek amongst his sheets; he’s too tired to argue with you and pretend that your late night visit bothers him.

“I had a bad dream,” you explain quietly, struggling to find a comfortable position to sleep in and kicking Bucky repeatedly in the process.

“Yeah?” He grunts in response, his metal arm weighing down on your torso to keep you still because god damnit, if your cold foot kicks him one more time.

“I was dreaming... and Tony was dead. Natasha too. And it was dark,” you whisper, not caring whether or not Bucky is listening to the words you so desperately need to get out. “I hate the dark.”

“I know,” Bucky murmurs softly. His warm breath hits the bare skin of your shoulder in a way that assuages the storm festering in the pit of your stomach.

You swallow softly. “It was my fault they were dead. No one told me it was but they didn’t have to. I just knew.”

“How did you know?”

“Because I always mess up. I make mistakes. Fury still thinks I’m just a little kid, and I know there are people who think I don’t belong here with you guys. Because I’ll just get someone killed.”

Silent tears slide down your warm cheeks but your breathing remains steady and calm. Cool metal brushes against your skin as Bucky delicately wipes your tears away.

“You deserve to be here,” Bucky affirms strongly. “You’ve proven yourself countless times before, you’ve held your own, and you’re a team player. You’re literally everyone’s favorite. Are you a little clumsy sometimes? Definitely. Stubborn? Oh, yeah. Immature?”

“Okay, I get it,” you laugh, wiping away the remaining tears. “Thank you.”

“Anytime brat,” Bucky grins fondly, his heart skipping a beat at the way you latch yourself to his body like a koala would to a tree.

You desperately wish that Bucky could realize that he doesn’t need to be the strongest man or the best dancer to win you over. Holding you in his arms, chasing the nightmares away, and making you feel seen and heard is enough for you.

You really like Bucky Barnes, and you hope that one day he’ll be able to realize just how much he means to you.

| tags: @rororo06 @bbyspiiice @tofeartheunknown @thefallenbibliophilequote @ahappylilybug2019 @iamaunicorn4704 @dumbbitch11 |

[helaintoloki]

Old Enemies

(Queen of Disaster Series)

pairing: Bucky Barnes x qod!reader

warnings: language, fluff towards the end, your ex boyfriend is a jerk, and Bucky gets into trouble

notes: this is based off of an old suggestion an anon sent me a while back ! // a continuation of the queen of disaster series 

summary: things get a little chaotic when your ex-boyfriend comes into town

In the few years that Bucky Barnes had gotten to know you, he had caught on very quickly to the fact that you were not a naturally quiet person. The silence made you uncomfortable, leaving you alone with memories both pleasant and unpleasant that came with being an Avenger; naturally you had realized that rambling proved to be a much better coping mechanism than learning to befriend the quiet. Even if it was at the worst times in the most inconvenient of settings, you were infamous for running your mouth any chance you got.

“Do you think this new suit makes my butt look big?”

“Jesus Christ y/n, we’re on a mission! Stop fraternizing with the enemy,” Sam had exclaimed exasperatedly. The poor Hydra agent being held captive by the two of you had decided then and there that he’d rather bite a bullet than listen to one more second of your rambling.

And that is why Bucky was rather alarmed at the fact that you hadn’t so much as spoken a single sentence all day. The only times you’re ever quiet for longer than five minutes are the times when you’re either sleeping or sick, and neither of those happened to be the case for today. Instead you seemed on edge, anxious, trudging quietly through the tower and constantly looking back over your shoulder waiting for something to attack.

It was around lunch time that Bucky figured out why.

Your ex-boyfriend was, in simple terms, a huge dick. Pretentious, privileged, and petty. If his pressed suit and obnoxiously shiny dress shoes weren’t annoying enough, the way he seemed to carry himself as if he was above every person he crossed paths with made Bucky’s skin crawl. How a guy like that could ever manage to end up with someone as sweet as you was beyond him.

“Easy tiger,” Tony had sighed, heartily clapping Bucky on the shoulder. “As much as we’d all love to tag team him, he works for the boss.”

And it was true. Your ex happened to hold a high ranking position in Shield, making him untouchable to the rest of you. But that didn’t mean there weren’t menacing glares and scowls sent his way. Even Peter, who would never hurt a fly, sent stink faces to the man. You, silent and helpless, merely sat with your gaze fixed straight ahead and your fingers twining and untwining underneath the table.

Bucky watched the way he seemed to loom over you constantly, and the soldier was sure to keep close bye in case the need for a rescue occurred- not that you’d ever need to be rescued, but backup would be good.

“How does it feel to be the least capable on the team?” He asks you, feigning innocence despite the obvious condescension in his voice.

It takes both Sam and Steve to hold Bucky back from knocking the man’s teeth in.

“You can’t treat a lady that way!” Bucky insists. “We have to do something.”

“We can’t. As much as he deserves it, we have to stand down,” Steve explains cooly. “He’ll get what’s coming to him in due time.”

“Besides,” Sam notes, a fond smile on his face as he gazes across the room at you, your shoulders squared back and head held high despite how awful you feel, “she’s a tough little lady. She can take care of herself.”

“I don’t know,” you finally reply with a small shrug. “I assume it’s the same way you feel about having the smallest dick in any room you set foot in.”

“Always a joy, y/n,” he laughs dryly.

“Always an ass, Richard,” you retaliate.

You were tough, Bucky knew that. But he also knew that you shouldn’t have to put up with bullshit. Not anymore.

~~~

“Bucky, have you seen Richard? We were supposed to be discussing Avengers funding half an hour ago,” Tony explains exasperatedly. The man just wanted to get home to his wife and unwind for the day, but the absence of your snot nosed ex prevented him from doing so.

“Nope, sorry,” Bucky shrugs nonchalantly, gaze focused on the tv before him as you enter the room and plop down beside him

“Alright,” Tony sighs, “well if you see him, let me know.”

“What’s happening?” You ask as Tony’s form retreats out into the hallway.

“Something about funding,” Bucky replies before lightly nudging you away as you try to invade his personal space. “Can you not be yourself for five seconds? I’m trying to watch something.”

“Well what are we watching?”

“And earlier today Shield operative Richard Trace was found hanging upside down from a tree in Manhattan park. Scrawled across his forehead was the phrase, ‘I have a small pee-pee.’ Trace has since been removed from the tree physically unharmed though demoralized greatly. Now on to sports.”

“Oh my god, you didn’t,” you gape, looking to Bucky with wide eyes and the ghost of a smile.

“I have no idea what you’re insinuating y/n,” Bucky responds nonchalantly, stretching his arms out on top the couch. “Besides, those aren’t words part of my vocabulary.”

“Peter helped you, didn’t he?”

“...Peter helped,” Bucky mumbles, and though he feels embarrassed he must admit the laughter that leaves your lips is quite the reward for his “heroic” duties.

“Dorks,” you giggle with the shake of your head. “Absolute dorks.”

And then, much to his surprise, you lean forward and plant a careful kiss onto his cheek. Your smile is so bright, mind still busy running from the news to notice the way he stiffens at the feeling of your lips on his skin. It’s chaste, a mere brush that barely would have been noticeable if not for how much it meant to him, but it makes his heart thrum rapidly in his chest and makes his senses go into overdrive. All he can think of is you, and how much he despises the way you have him wrapped around your finger despite the fact that he’d promised himself he would never let it happen. But as Sam had proved just a few days ago, he was already whipped.

“Thank you for caring,” you smile before rising from the couch. “But next time leave the heckling to me. I was gonna key his car when no one was looking.”

Bucky watches with lips slightly parted as you skip out of the room, your shared moment already long forgotten thanks to your short attention span. But he knows he won’t be forgetting that kiss.

Not for a long time.

| tags: @rororo06 @bbyspiiice @tofeartheunknown @thefallenbibliophilequote @ahappylilybug2019 @iamaunicorn4704 @dumbbitch11 |

[helaintoloki]

Whipped

(Queen of Diaster series)

pairing: Bucky Barnes x qod!reader

warnings: language, some fluff, innuendos

notes: a continuation of the queen of disaster series featuring Sam and Steve

summary: you’re sick with a fever and look to Bucky for help, thus leading to a scary personal revelation for the super soldier.

“Bucky, please!”

“No, get away from me, you’re gonna get me sick,” Bucky scolds, the broom he had been using to sweep up some crumbs from the kitchen floor now pointed towards you like a weapon.

“You’re a super soldier,” you whine, “your immune system is stronger than mine!”

“Don’t care, go away,” Bucky warns again. You’d had a fever for about two days, and though you were starting to get better Bucky didn’t want to take any chances. He prided himself on his strength and good health, so there was no way in hell he’d ever let you get him sick. Even under the weather you still managed to find ways to bug him. Then again, pestering Bucky seemed to be a natural talent of yours.

“Pleaseee!” You beg, shoulders rising and falling along with each syllable you drag out from the word.

Lowering his weapon broom, Bucky glares at you through narrowed eyes. Your own eyes never leaves the shiny metal of his left arm, forehead glistening with sweat from the fever. He notices your longing gaze and lifts the broom again, ready to beat you away if he has to.

“Go ask Bruce for help,” Bucky argues, “what are you coming to me for?”

“Bruce says he isn’t going to waste important resources on a fever that will go away by itself,” you pout.

“If I get sick I’m coming for your ass,” Bucky grumbles, dropping the broom so that the wooden handle clatters against the tile floor. Though your skin is pale, he notices the way you seem to brighten up at his reluctant surrender. How does this always happen? How do you always win? And why does he always let you? The tired soldier is willing to pay anybody for answers.

“Come on,” he mutters, gesturing for you to follow him into the common area so that you both may sit on the couch. Once he’s seated in a way that’s comfortable- because he knows he’ll probably be stuck on the couch with you for at least an hour- he gestures for you to join him. And you do so eagerly, lying down on the couch with your head in his lap resting against his thigh for a pillow. He looks at you partly in disgust and partly in annoyance, but ultimately with a sympathetic gaze as he rests his cool metal hand against your hot forehead. A satisfied sigh leaves your lips at the relief you immediately feel and at the fact that yet again you’ve managed to win Bucky’s aid.

“An ice pack would have been better for this,” Bucky points out, but you don’t hear him. In fact, you’ve fallen asleep. A small smile finds its way across his lips as he grumbles out a small, “Brat.”

~~~

“Bucky, how long have you been sitting here?” Steve asks with a raised brow.

“Three hours,” he grumbles. His butt is sore from sitting for so long and he’s hungry, but your iron grip on his arm keeps him from moving. You’d been out like a rock, but it was understandable considering it was the first bout of comfortable sleep you’d had since the fever hit. Bucky could have gotten up if he wanted to, but for some reason he chose to stay.

“I can take over if you’d like, let you get feeling in your legs again,” Steve offers with a chuckle, but Bucky shakes his head.

“Won’t do any good. She likes the arm,” Bucky explains. “Keeps her cool.”

“I see,” Steve hums, a knowing look in his eyes that irks Bucky to no end.

“What is it?” Bucky prods.

“Nothing,” his counterpart says with an innocent smile, “just think it’s nice of you is all.”

“He thinks you’re whipped,” Sam interjects from the kitchen, “which you are.”

“I’m not whipped,” Bucky scowls. “I’m just doing her a favor.”

“A favor you’d never do for anybody else,” Sam retaliates, smirking in satisfaction when Barnes fails to come up with a counter argument. “That’s what I thought. Whipped.”

“I hate you,” is all Bucky can say.

At times Bucky was convinced you had some sort of telepathic ability, maybe Wanda had taught you some skills so that you could get him to do your bidding. But now, looking down at your sleeping form, he realizes it has nothing to do with any sort of mind control at all. Bucky, much to his horror, complies to your will because he likes you.

Bucky Barnes is whipped, and he is whipped for you.

| tags: @rororo06 @bbyspiiice @tofeartheunknown @bubbabarnes |

*gif does not belong to me, credit goes to the owner!

[helaintoloki]

Ice Cream

(Queen of Disaster series)

pairing: Bucky Barnes x qod!reader

warnings: language, slight angst, Bucky is grumpy as always, slight fluff

notes: a second part adding on to the QOD series

summary: Bucky hates being paired up with you on missions. But he also hates seeing you cry.

   Bucky Barnes hates missions.

   To be more specific, he hates when he’s paired with you on missions.

   With you, the field is a playground and the enemy is a new playmate. Weapons are just shiny new toys you can show off and tickle fights include choking your opponent. You are graceful and agile for about the first twenty minutes before you begin to tire, then your movements become clumsy, uncoordinated, and based completely on luck. If luck was a super power, Bucky thinks resentfully, you’d definitely have it.

   And despite it all, you almost always leave unscathed with a spring in your step and a song in your heart, a song Bucky wishes he could mute for at least five minutes because you’re not a very good singer most of the time. You return with praise, are greeted with Tony Stark’s open arms and an acknowledging pat on the back from Steve Rogers, and remain victorious in a game you have no idea you’re playing because to you, life is a game. To Bucky, it’s a challenge.

  The mission is simple enough: get in, extract some stolen Shield files, destroy the base, and get out unharmed. Well, it would have been simple if he’d been given a different partner.

   “Judy, Judy, bo-budy, banana fana fo-foodi-“

  “Stop,” Bucky hisses out in annoyance. “You’re gonna blow our cover.”

  “But I’m booooored,” you whine.

  “Can you at least try to take this seriously?” He snaps, a warning gaze thrown in your direction similar to that of a mother warning her misbehaving child to watch their behavior.

   “I did take it seriously! I got the file. As the Captain America poster in my bedroom says, ‘You can have fun once the job is done.’”

  “First of all, I still can’t believe Steve had to have that poster specially made for you. Second of all- Wait, you have the file?” Bucky halts, doing a double take as you hold up the manilla folder for him to see.

   “Yeah, like twenty minutes ago,” you shrug. “It was really easy actually-“

  “Why the hell didn’t you say anything?!” Bucky cries exasperated. “We’re supposed to leave as soon as we retrieve the files. God, y/n, this isn’t a game! This is adult work and adult stuff and-“

   He sees it then, the way you squirm uncomfortably under his harsh gaze and the way your eyes never leave the splotch of old blood on the ground from years past. The guilt hits him hard in the chest as if it was your foot that had collided with him and not the crestfallen look upon your face. He forgets that you’re sensitive, that you’re not as emotionally strong as the rest of the team because you’re still learning and still fairly innocent to the horrors that this job presents. He forgets because Hydra had never shown him lenience for his mistakes, Hydra had taught him that compassion did not exist. And now here you are before him sniffling and trying your damndest now to cry in front of the Winter Soldier, and Bucky feels like a complete and utter jerk.

   “Hey, c’mon now, don’t do that,” Bucky pleads gently. “Don’t cry.”

   “I’m sorry,” you snivel meekly, “I didn’t mean to make you mad.”

   “I’m not mad,” Bucky sighs. “I didn’t mean to snap at you, okay kid? You did good. Getting that file without me even noticing is amazing. But you gotta tell me next time otherwise I can’t do my job. Okay?”

  “Okay,” you sniffle with the nod of your head, wiping away the few tears you hadn’t managed to keep at bay.

  “C’mon,” he gestures, leading you towards the side exit of the building. “Let’s finish the job and then we can go home.”

  “Can we have ice cream when we get home?” You sniffle.

“I don’t know, I don’t really...” Bucky starts to say but immediately shuts up at the fresh wave of tears forming in the corners of your eyes. “Okay, okay, ice cream! We’ll get ice cream! Jesus.”

  Your joyous cheers echo throughout the hall as you clap your hands together before skipping ahead towards the exit route as if you hadn’t just been ready to burst into tears. A new weapon added to your artillery against the tired soldier.

  Bucky Barnes hates going on missions with you.

  But he also hates to see you cry.

| tags: @rororo06​ |

[helaintoloki]

Safe

(Queen of Disaster series)

pairing: Bucky Barnes x qod!reader

warnings: allusions to anxiety, language, Bucky does not appreciate you sitting on him while he does push ups, fluffy ending

notes: a continuation of the qod series

summary: in the midst of your panic you find that there’s more to Bucky than you realize

Nerves prickle at every inch of your skin like an uncomfortable itch you can never seem to reach, stomach twisted in complicated knots worse than any tangled up wires Peter had found in his days of dumpster diving. You are a wreck, on edge and ready to vomit at any second.

After the whole file fiasco, Shield had decided it was time for your inauguration as an Avenger. In other words, you would be introduced to the public as a new and official member of the team. You were over the moon to finally be recognized as a true hero and exhilarated by the prospect of being able to wear the title of Avenger wherever you went.

“Don’t forget about your speech kid,” Tony reminds you, giving a gentle squeeze to your shoulders as he passes by. “I expect great things from you, y/n/n.”

That was the part that made you nervous. If you had known being an Avenger also meant having to give public speeches then you would have just stuck to teaching boxing classes back in Staten Island. Tony assumed it would be a piece of cake for you considering you had no problem talking for hours on end to whoever would listen at the compound (e.g. the time you sat a genuinely interested Thor down for a whole hour and explained the complexity of the Peppa Pig series). But what he didn’t realize was that talking around the tower came so easily to you only because you felt safe. These people were your family, of course you were comfortable talking to them. But to talk in front of a whole crowd of people already waiting for you to make a mistake so that they could dissect and analyze and criticize and question your position on the team? Suffice to say you were shitting bricks.

“Yeah...” you drawled, flashing an uneasy smile in the direction of your unsuspecting mentor. Then, under your breath as he begins to walk away, “Oh god, please kill me.”

~~~

“Can I-“

“No.”

“I didn’t even get to ask you yet!” You protest, oblivious to Bucky’s obvious annoyance towards your choice of using his back as a place to sit while he does his push ups. It isn’t your fault though. The rise and fall motion is somewhat soothing- for you, at least.

“Don’t care,” he utters through a grunt, “I’m busy.”

“Bucky, please! I promise I’ll leave you alone after.”

“That’s what you always say.”

“But I mean it this time!” You insist, grabbing tufts of his hair between your fingers and clutching on tightly to the reigns of your super soldier horse. The action only irritates him further and you let out a squeak as he rolls over, knocking you off in the process so that you land flat on the mat and on your ass.

“Alright, what is it?” Bucky huffs as he wipes the sweat on his forehead away with his forearms.

“Can I read you my speech for the press conference tomorrow?” You mumble sheepishly, eyes casted down in embarrassment as you begin to feel the regret of asking in your stomach. “You’re the harshest so I’ll know if it’s stupid if I read it to you.”

Bucky isn’t sure whether to feel offended or guilty at the statement but he is quick to brush it off. A long sigh leaves his lips as he lies back on the floor and stares up at the ceiling. Hands resting on his taut stomach and long hair spread out around his head like a halo, he nods. “Go on.”

“Ahem,” you start, clearing your throat and wrangling in your words before they can escape you. Inhaling deeply, you open your mouth to speak only for it to shut again. “Oh my god, I can’t do it. Bucky, I can’t do it!”

“Hey, just relax,” Bucky consoles. “You’re going to be alright.”

“No, I literally can’t do it,” you explain exasperatedly. “I’m gonna look so stupid and they’re going to hate me and-“

“Y/N,” Bucky interrupts, voice firm yet gentle in a way that gets you to shut up rather quickly. He sits up now, strong arms grasping at your shoulders in an attempt to ground you. “I know how scary talking to all those people can be, especially when you already feel like you don’t belong.”

There’s a softness to his eyes like you’ve never seen before, a turmoil behind those crystal clear blue eyes as they bore into your soul. It’s familiar and safe and comforting and so lovely to witness firsthand a new side of Bucky that’s been kept out of your reach for so long. Your skin begins to prickle at his touch, face heating up at the physicality of the situation, and heart beating so quickly you’re absolutely sure he can hear it. It almost would have been romantic, but you knew you were not his type whatsoever. Bucky was just being a good teammate, that’s all. There was nothing there. 

“But you can’t let them get to you. You earned this. Even though you’re clumsy, and immature, and irresponsible, and-“

“Okay, okay, I get it,” you cut him off, but his smile is blinding. When was the last time you saw Bucky smile? Correction, when have you ever seen Bucky smile? You only have a split second to admire his pearly whites before he returns to the same serious facade he always wears in your company.

“If all else fails, just look for something in the room to focus your attention on,” Bucky suggests. “Something that isn’t scary. Something that makes you comfortable. Something that feels safe.”

“I think I can do that...”

~~~

You step up to the podium with a grace unseen from you before. All eyes in the room focus in on you, microphones and cameras at the ready and their owners on the edge of their seats as they wait for you to speak. Stomach in knots, you swallow down the rising bile in your throat and try to still your trembling legs.

Frantically you scan the room, eyes landing towards the back wall where Bucky stands in his best suit and tie. He offers you a hint of a smile and a meager thumbs up in support, mouthing something along the lines of, “you’ve got this.”

And you smile, nerves melting away as you take a breath and begin your speech, eyes trained on Bucky until the very end. You have found something someone that makes you feel safe.

And that someone is Bucky Barnes.

| tags: @rororo06​ @bbyspiiice​ @tofeartheunknown​ @bubbabarnes​

[helaintoloki]

Maybe the next part of QOD could have someone from the readers past who hurt them come back into their life & they aren’t sure if they should give them another chance. Bucky can tell that something is bothering them so they tell him what’s going on and what they did. And Bucky is all like “you don’t need to give them another chance if they’ve hurt you that badly” or something like that. Kinda angsty but also not really cause Bucky is like “fuck em” Sorry for swearing it’s who I am as a person.

barely seeing this now whoa but yes I love this. Bucky will console qod!reader and then shortly after a missing person’s report will play on the news in regards to her ex or something and he’ll just be like “interesting” while he drinks his coffee. anYways yes I will write this