#bullsquit

[splatoon-confession-box]

Nintendo could make a fat stack if they’d make splatoon stim toys and sold them in the bloody u.s. since they’re immune to giving us merch

[dc-sims]

WARNING: NOT SPLATOON

so I am back on my bullsquit

......can't believe the thing that dragged me back to CC hell is spare bike....................

(my boys are all pursuing higher education... I'm so proud)

[liffy-feelin-jiffy]

Coroika Gorai headcanons

Rider had typically been more closed off about his sexuality, for reasons he decided to keep to himself as they mostly originate from insecurities, but also because he actually hadn’t known he genuinely likes guys the way he thought he liked girls for the longest time in his life. It wasn’t until he was 15 in a half, and having gotten to know Goggles a lot more at the time did he realize that he likes guys in more ways he initially thought he did. It didn’t help when the devastating realization came to him that he had a crush on a specific blue idiot boy… a hard crush as a matter of fact. Like, I’m talking head over heels kind of stuff, Spiderverse Gwen syndrome. Mans is tripping on his own feet because he can’t stop thinking about that scatterbrain for the life of him. Goggles is in every corner of his mind, he’s in the reflections in the windows of the subway, his bubbly laughs can be heard through the soft breeze like bird song. Rider always looks at the Pilot Goggled buffoon’s empty hands, willing everything in himself not to take it and intertwine their fingers together like thread sewing fabric, and he clenches his own hands into tight fists whenever he’s away from him and the thought of hand holding comes to mind. He’s so in love, he wants to kiss that stupid little weirdo’s face it’s making him look like the biggest dumbass that’s ever been born-

Sorry I got a little too into it there I guess. Whether you wanna take all that seriously or not is your choice of poison.

Anyways, yeah, once Rider finds out he’s literally in love with the squid who deadass flashed him to the public during their first match back in the Plaza, it’s not going so well for him. Why in the world would he start getting all blushy and feely for that absolute moron? What possessed him into developing feelings for that over-ecstatic boy with tentacles as blue as the shining sea? With a goofy smile so bright that it rivals the very sun? With such inspiring optimism that Rider can only dream of possessing-

😑

Oh, who was he kidding.

What makes it worse is that his crush on Goggles actually started back when he was teaching blue team how to train to fight against Skull, hence adding onto his seemingly territorial behavior on Gogs when Skull eagerly said he wanted to fight team blue again. Jealous much? Lmao. It gets even funnier when he and Goggles both end up crushing on Skull too BAHAHA (I believe in fixing love triangles/squares with the power of POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIPS. SKULLAMIGORAI FOR LIFE✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻)

For the longest time he tried to repel what he considered were “intrusive thoughts” of Goggles. He’d try gaslighting himself that he’s someone Goggles would never find that kind of interest in; maybe he already has someone else, like a guy or girl, he’s bi after all, isn’t he? He and Goggles would never work anyways, Rider’s personality was too serious to match with Goggle’s boisterous and colorful character even though he’d be willing to undergo any more bullsquit imaginable if it meant he’d get to spend the rest of his days with the blue buffoon. He doesn’t see him that way, they wouldn’t mesh well together, Goggles deserved to have someone nicer than he was, etc.

This kept going on for a little while, until eventually Aloha finds out—it’s a long story—and accidentally rats Rider out to his sister and momma—that’s an even longer story, and they both enthusiastically try to coerce him into confessing from there.

Aloha: “You should write him a song and play it for him-!”

Rider: “Bitch heeeeell no”

Rider’s mom: “why not make him something? Like bake a cake or a pie for him as a gift”

Rider: “did you forget what happened last time? what happened to having me banned from using the oven???”

This was all meanwhile Goggles was actually having a secondary crisis of his own. Not the extent Rider had, but all through the Turf War and Ranked Battle Tournaments to his journey with Sheldon to find the treasure, he’d been quite distracted needless to say.

Compared to Rider, Goggles was plenty more laid back and wasn’t shy about his sexuality, though he didn’t ever tell anyone his sexual/romantic orientation that much, so it lead to everyone believing that he was a gay squiddo—though he was really bi and had an equal preference for both boys and girls. There’s still not a lot of people who know he’s bi because he never tells anybody, and if he ever does it would be like discovering rare dialogue in a video game. Even though he has little interest in pursuing a love life, he still kinda had some hope in finding that special someone that he would get to spend the rest of his life with. He tried one time with a girl back in Inkopolis plaza (before the events of the manga) but it ended kinda rocky and he kinda tried to distance himself from relationships for a while until he moved on and kinda just went like “if it happens, it happens.”

Again, his crush was more mellow compared to Rider’s, or at least it started out mellow before eventually growing into a deep sweet longing for his companionship. Goggle’s crush started off typical, thinking that Rider was all handsome, strong, total dreamboat kinda guy. After they’d gotten to know each other some more, and upon moving to the Square did Goggles really have a thing for him. Even the rest of the blue team began to notice. His interest in him peaked when Rider stopped him before his battle against Team Emperor and told him “watch the next semi finals match closely. Because you’re gonna be facing against me in the finals.”

Can you tell that these are my favorite panels because ho mine gosh

Goggles wasn’t as insecure as Rider was in terms of self esteem, but he also came up with the thoughts that Rider wouldn’t see him like that, too. He even worried that Rider would’ve been disgusted if he told him 😭. He wanted to at least keep their friendship together so he was just like “I like you a lot and I admire you to no end but I understand that it may never really come to that so I’ll just support you and admire you for all your grace from afar. 😁”

Hope you enjoyed this cuz now I’m eepy and I’m gonna take a nap. I’ve got college now and I didn’t get enough sleep last night because my adhd will never love me.

(Edited a few things in here. Hope you like the changes better!)

[loz-the-noob]

20 for Marie

please

Okay I just realised I’ve actually mentioned it before on here but I’d still like to preface it by saying it was actually a crack theory that I came up with following a really weird conversation about low tide ink when I was like. 13. It just ended up sticking and now I’m going to try and justify it for some reason.

So y’know Marie’s a firefly squid? Lots of people draw her like, glowing in the dark and junk, but any time we see her actually in a darker environment in game (So, splatfests. That’s kind of it.) she… doesn’t do that. Presumably, her ability to produce low tide ink that stuns instead of splatting is also linked to her firefly squid-ness. But she couldn’t produce low tide ink ALL the time because then she wouldn’t be able to play turf war, right? It’d just knock everyone out. I really liked the idea that Marie has glowing tentacles though, so I decided to link her glowing tentacles with the ability to produce low tide ink, like I think a lot of people have done. So she can only produce low tide ink while she’s glowing, and vice versa.

On a seemingly unrelated note, all of Marie’s non-squid sisters related songs, or music that’s associated with her, has the word ‘tide’ in it (tide goes out, tidal rush, low tide) in the English translation at least. Tides are controlled by the moon, and the phases of the moon signify months. This is clearly something that’s important to Marie so it would kind of (?) make sense if her firefly squid properties were related to it as well. That would also explain why she doesn’t glow/ produce low tide ink all of the time. But Marie’s not like some kind of werewolf, so it would also have to be something to do with her body too. So. Yeah. To my 13 year-old brain, it made perfect sense that the only possible solution for this CONUNDRUM was that. Marie glows when she’s menstruating. But only in the dark, so it doesn’t come up much, it’s just to do with the timing of splatfests….

Then I spouted some bullsquit about uhhh,,, changes in hormonal levels allowing the enzyme luciferase (that causes bioluminescence) to be produced?? Actually I might of added that later. Which is worse.

…and, I’m aware that brings a WHOLE bunch of questions about inkling biology in general. Do they menstruate at all if they’re (allegedly) not mammals? It’s never actually stated in canon whether they lay eggs or give birth to live young (I think??) BUT they do have bellybuttons so that’s something to….. think about…….. if you desperately need to touch grass as much as I did (do?)

If any cool people with actual theories about Inkling biology see this post…….I’m sorry. That’s why I’m not main tagging it unless it gets like, 5 notes or more.

[squiddiliusmckraken]

“... ... ... I’M CALLIN’ BULLSQUIT.”

[red-signal]

*sigh* I have adopted your phrase "Bullsquit" where is this from?

splatoon. its a squid pun

[mekmech]

Doodle Dump,

Got real busy as of late, but I’ve been doodlin’ a few things and getting used to using ibis paint, so there’s that :0 Blorbos be upon ye,

This doodle has been affectionately named Dorito Prison by my friend circle, drew it in about 3 minutes,

A rare serious-ish drawing of Adrianne for once, sometimes you just gotta hold your friend like hamburger,

A new-ish oc (technically a redesign) drawn in Ibis, was only planned to be a headshot, but ended up snowballing into something bigger. This is Maxim, and he has a pet rock :)

Last thing, a quick Morgan sketch I drew bc I was bored, that and I’m lowkey proud of the hand coming out as well as it did,

Yes, I could have posted these individually, but then I’d forget kfdjhgkdfjgh Anyway, I’ll do a gay little bow and take my leave for now, expect the normal schedule of reblogging bullsquit again,

[sunkist-scientist]

BABY HOUNDEYE!!!! BABY BULLSQUIT. BAPEY BOID. BABY HEAD CRAP

[mushroomminded]

On the one hand, the responsible adult in me thinks "if you can manage that financially, then yes; if not, rethink."

On the other hand, the part of me that's seen how this job in particular has really mucked about with yer mental health on top of all the other bullsquit of 2020/2021 is saying "F*CK THAT MAKE IT THREE DAYS *AND* A PAY RISE, YOU EARNED IT", knowing full well that's not how you negotiate with bosses but not caring 'cos I for one am Tired™️ of seein' ya days made worse by this job and you Deserve Better and that's the feckin' tea on that one bestie 💅

fhsjdkkwkrd u only see me on my bad days i love this job actually

but yeah! i really can afford it, i just wanted to be around so much for everyone working there's sake, we had a MAD turnover this season. just dont wanna throw them too bad hm

[al-xks]

I did not splat her it’s not true it’s bullsquit I did not splat her, I did naat...

Oh hai pearl

[eiden-squid]

Splat Dualies, Dinamic Duo (Fan Fic)

A Gen2 Fanfic featuring Nova Sparks ( @inkstriker-fynn ) and Paige Marchant! These pair get into trouble after Paige brings in a new weapon for Turf Wars!

More after the Read More!

It is a nice cold afternoon in the Sparks household, where Fynn, Eimie and Nova lived. Eimie just finished making dinner for her two favourite squids in the world. As usual, Fynn congratulated Eimie for the delicious food and Nova ate quickly and nearly choked on his food. He was having a sudden burst of energy this time.

As soon as Nova finished, he stood up and took his dishes back to the kitchen. “Alright ma’! I am going to Inkopolis Square real quick!” He said, putting his jacket and scarf on.

“Wha-? This late..? I mean, sure go ahead..! But why this late? Are you meeting up with someone?” Eimie asked as she continued eating slowly.

Nova nodded. “Yup! Paige is waiting for me there! She didn’t told me what for, but I can’t leave my cousin hangin’, right?” He said, grabbing his N-Zap 83.

“Oh, right.. well take care and be careful, eh? Make sure to text me once you are with Paige, okay?” Eimie finished eating her food. Nova nodded and gave both his parents a quick peck on the cheek and he ran off.

It wasn’t that dark, but it was still pretty late. Paige waited outside the café on Inkopolis Square. Nova rushed through the dark streets to get there in time. 

“Huff.. S-Sorry Paige... am I late?” He said as he stopped in his tracks and knelt down to catch his breath. He took this few minutes of resting to also text his mom that he had arrived with Paige.

“Nah.. On time, as always! Did Aunt Eimie or Uncle Fynn ask you about our meeting here?” Paige, a 14-year old squid girl and daughter of one of the Marchant siblings, rested her back against the wall.

“Nu-uh.. Why should they? Why do you need me here?” Nova asked as he stood up and looked at Paige.

“Alright, follow me. Trust me on this one, we will be the kings of Turf War!” Paige said as she dragged Nova to the lobby. “Just promise you won’t tell mom or dad, yeah? I mean, we won’t get into trouble or anything.. but you know how they can be with the whole ‘Advanced’ weapons and stuff...” She said as they were quickly matched up on a 4v4 Turf War.

“Hm? Advanced weapon? What are you talking abo-” Nova asked as his statement was interrupted with the surprise that Paige just brought up. She was holding a pair of brand new Splat Dualies in her hands. Nova slowly went ahead to hold one.

“Ta-Da~!” Paige said proudly, suddenly feeling like the most important squid in the whole lobby. “Aren’t these beauties, like, tots awesome?!” She said, loudly.

Meanwhile, Nova examined them carefully and now held both, one in each hand. “Maaaaaaaaan! These are awesome! How did you even get these? I mean, did you trained up to reach the level required to buy these?” He asked, trying to contain even more questions.

“Ha! As if! I found them in my parents’ closet and I took them! That’s why I asked you to keep this whole meeting as a secret, yeah? They won’t allow me to have the Dualies until I am 16..! That’s Bullsquit!”

Nova, now realizing that what she was doing was wrong, quickly handed the guns back to Paige. “Oh damn..! Paige.. you don’t have the required level to use these! You could get in trouble..!” Nova tried explaining, but Paige had stopped listening to him. Now, they were being taken to the stage they would Turf in.

Paige and Nova both spawned on the green team. Nova kept the N-Zap close to him, while Paige played around with the Dualies, making wacky poses.

“Alright, cousin. Let’s give it our all, yeah?” Paige got ready and was ready to take off. Nova nodded and suddenly the team was off! Paige quickly inking the base and Nova following behind her.

Just a few seconds in, and Paige’s tentacles started glowing quickly. “Oohhh! I have my special ready! Nova, to me! Quick!” She said as she glanced around her surroundings making sure they were in the clear. Nova rushed next to Paige.

“Watch this!” Paige took Nova’s hand and suddenly, they were both in the air, being propelled by a clunky big Ink Jetpack. Paige was also now holding a huge blaster in her hand. “Shoot everyone! Quick!”

Nova was impressed by Paige’s technique, although he thought that what they were doing was breaking a few rules. He didn’t care this time and started shooting everywhere. He was having the time of his life up there in the air.

After a few seconds, the Ink Jet broke and the two squids were sent back to where they first took off. “Neat! That was cool!” Nova cheered.

The three minutes of the turf war were up, and all 8 squids were taken back to the lobby to see their results. 

Before a winner was announced, a few squids from the opposite team stepped up, confronting Paige. “Hey! What you did with the Ink Jet is illegal! Also, you don’t have the required level to have those weapons!”

Paige stepped back. “Oh yeah?! How about you MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! BUZZ OFF, YEAH?” Paige wasn’t holding back. Meanwhile, Nova stepped back too. He didn’t want any trouble tonight. All these screaming and yelling caused the authorities to step in. As soon as they approached, Paige quickly held Nova’s hand. “RUN!”

Paige dropped a suction bomb and ran away with Nova. The explosion of ink caused the other squids to get distracted as they found a place to cover from the burst. By then, Paige and Nova were long gone.

“Whew!! That was close, eh? I wish I could turf a few more matches.. but I guess I won’t be coming back with these Dualies until I level up. Whaddaya think, cousin?” Paige said as she let go of Nova’s hand. She guessed that probably he would be able to run by himself.

“W-Well... I think we should never... ever come back! They will recognize us!” Nova held hiz N-Zap tight, trying to not think of what would’ve happen if they got caught.

“Haaaha! Come on, fam! They won’t do anything to us! Now let’s get you home, yeah?” Without waiting for an answer, Paige started walking away. Nova simply followed.

Once there, Nova opened the door, instantly Eimie greeted both squid kids with a huge grin and a tight hug to Nova. “Heya! You two are back! Did you all have fun?” Eimie asked. Nova was about to answer, but Paige was first to talk.

“Yeah, auntie! We both had a blast at the Turfs! Nova even promised me to go back tomorrow, right cus’?” Paige said eagerly and smiling wide. Nova couldn’t say no, since he actually did had a lot of fun at the turfs with his cousin.

“Heh! Yeah we did! We will be back on action! By the way, where is papa?” Nova asked as he tried to free himself from her mother’s tight hug. He kinda got embarassed when she was so affectionate in front of others, but he didn’t complained.

“Your dad is already asleep. You know, he works early tomorrow and stuff. You should also go to bed. Paige, need a ride home? Or we could call Ei-” She then was interrupted by Paige.

“Nah nah Auntie! I am fine! I already called home, I told them I was on my way. Anyway, night auntie! Night Nova! See ya all tomorrow, yeah?” She said as she hugged Eimie and Nova good-bye. She then was on her way home.

Nova chuckled, as she waved her younger cousin goodbye.

The End!

[mushroomminded]

Not to be too On My Own Bullsquit in The Ask Box™️ but can I just say; Grandpa Jake still rocks the Converse well in his middle age. Truly, he is both the Bicon we deserve AND the Punk Legend we adore. (I assume gramps!Dan also still rocks them well but to be fair, when you've got a Magnificent Beard like that you can wear anything you please and look like a modern day adonis; he could rock up in a bare-midriff tank top, parachute pants and crocs and he'd still look Iconic™️)

he’s just a rlly handsome old fella