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#but I think it makes it look like they're friends haha
peacheeeliz · 2 days
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003. they're not soundproof (wc: 1046)
Mark sits at the end of the study table, arms crossed as he takes slow breaths. When he left the room, only you and Allen had occupied the table. But once he returned, four of your classmates had joined his little ‘study group.’ Everyone was off in their own little conversations, but you couldn't help but send him a small smile. His blood would boil if it were any other person there, but the sight of that sly smile that played on your lips just left his heart pounding.
“Sorry, my brother and Jungwoo said they wanted to join,” you whisper to him, pointing at the two that sat on the opposite side of the table: Jiwoong Kim and Nicha Yontararak, or Minnie. Two upperclassmen that were friends with your brother and Jungwoo and also a part of your Japanese class. You stared at the two on either side of them, “those two, I don't really know why they're here. I thought you said they couldn't make it?”
‘Those two’ were Mark's friends, Donghyuck and Julie, who sheepishly smiled at him as they conversed with their classmates. “Well, that's what they told me,” he tells you, huffing.
Julie, closest to the two of you, leans over to butt in. “We had something come up with our other plans,” she starts, shrugging before she mouths a quick ‘sorry’ towards Mark.
Before Mark can respond, Jiwoong starts on the other side of the table. “I'm so glad somebody started a study group,” he says, smiling softly. “I was starting to go a little crazy because of Mr. Suh's lessons, and we're only one week in.”
“Oh my Gosh, same,” Minnie continues, hands falling down on the table. She sends a sorrowful look your way, “your Japanese is literally so good already, girl. How do you do it?”
You laugh lightly, shaking your head at her words. “Oh, it's nothing, come on,” you draw out.
Allen, who had now moved to the chair on the other side of you, threw his arm over your shoulder with a bright smile. “Y/Nie here is a multilingual genius. I genuinely think she has a superpower to learn any language she wants just like that,” he snaps his fingers to emphasize the word ‘that.’ “She's amazing.”
“Stop it,” you say sheepishly, swatting his arm away. “I want to learn just like you guys, I've just got a few languages down, so it's easier to learn others.”
“I agree with Allen,” Mark starts, smiling sweetly at you. “It's really amazing.”
Your eyes don't stay on him long, as Hyuck's loud voice calls you back to the group. “Well, then, you will just be a great help for our study group then, won't you?” He asks you, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he glances back and forth between you and Mark. “Mark is just terrible at learning new languages, so he might need a lot of help.”
“Haha, shut up, man,” Mark laughs, though his eyes stare daggers towards his friend.
“Well, I think this is going to be fun,” Allen exclaims, tapping the table excitedly. “I've never been in a study group before.”
“Actually, uh, before we start,” Mark interrupts, eyeing Hyuck again. “Can we talk real quick, outside?”
Despite his previous cheeky mood, Hyuck tenses up at Mark's gaze. He nods quickly, following his friend out into the hall. But of course, he doesn't forget to send you a friendly wave before the door shuts behind him.
“What the hell, man?” Mark starts instantly, huffing as he crosses his arms once again. “This was supposed to be just me and her. What the fuck are you doing here? What the fuck are any of you doing here?”
“Listen, Y/N invited everyone but me and Julie, alright?” Hyuck rebuts, scoffing. “And Allen only invited us because he had no idea we were ‘supposed’ to be a part of your little study group.”
Mark rolls his eyes, letting out a pained laugh. “Listen, roll your eyes all you want,” Hyuck continues, jabbing his friend in the chest. “I can try to help you out as much as you want, but forget studying alone with her. This study group's happening. If I have to study, so do you, sweetheart.”
The sound of the door opening brings their attention away from each other, and their eyes fall on you. You peaked your head around the door, “hey.” You said softly. “Just wanted to let you guys know that these windows, y'know the windows that completely surround the study room. They're not soundproof.”
“Fuck, Y/N,” Mark starts, following you back into the room with Hyuck. “I'm sorry, really.”
“What, sorry that your plan got ruined?” You ask, sitting back down at the table. Your classmates stayed silent, watching the scene play out in front of them. “Or sorry that I heard how disappointed you were in the plan not working out?”
He watched as you prepared your books for studying, ready to completely ignore him if absolutely necessary. “Obviously the latter, come on,” he tells you, eyes too focused on you to notice that Hyuck returns to his seat. “I really want to study with you, genuinely.”
You stare up at him with a blank stare, “drop the act. I'm not falling for it,” you reply, returning to your notes. “If you don't want to study with us, then fine. You know where the door is.”
“Y/N,” he says, but all he gets in reply is you pointing at the door in silence. He looks to Julie and Hyuck for help, but their eyes are glued to their textbooks. His eyes graze over the others, who awkwardly avoid his gaze by looking at each other or their notes. “Fine, I'll leave.”
He begins to pack his things back up in silence, though his eyes keep wandering back to you. To see if you'd look back at him. To see if you'd tell him to stop, just sit down and join them. But you never do. Your eyes stay on your textbook, never leaving to meet his.
He scoffs, rolling his eyes as he throws his backpack over his shoulder. Without saying another word, he exits the study room and doesn't turn back.
synopsis ⤏ mark, desperate to talk to the cute girl in his japanese class, forms a study group. who knew that other struggling college students might want to join a study group?
a/n: i'm imagining their seating arrangement to actually be like it is in community 😭😭 so like mark in jeff's spot, y/n = britta, allen = abed, hyuck = troy, jiwoong = pierce, minnie = shirley, and julie = annie. i hope that all makes sense !
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cotton-could · 12 hours
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The depth of the Beetles brothers
My favourite sibling relationship in KND is definitely the Beetles brothers and I feel like they don't get the recognation they deserve, they're very adorable and is by far the most healthy sibling relationship but it does have some interesting aspects. Lemme break it down:
🍼; Wally had to step in to parent Joey
I find it interesting how the normally irresponsable Wally is suddenly the most responsible boy when his brother is concerned, almost like he's fulfilling the role his parents failed to fulfill. Wally's parents are oblivious at best and painfully irresponsible as seen in the D.O.D.G.E.B.A.L.L episode, where both parents doesn't even react to a grown and elderly wizard attacking their baby, they don't even get mad at him. I know it's "haha adults are being dumb and useless 😂" but this doesn't paint them in a good light since Joey needs someomeone to rely on and clearly he can't rely on his parents (I'll talk about it later), Wally on the other hand, he protects him, scolds him, looks after him and raise him, despite being the eldest brother, he acts more like a stern but loving father than a brother. The guy went berserk when he thought his baby brother was hurt, a clear contrast to their parents' reactions when Joey was in real danger. Wally became the "adult" Joey needed at such a young age...
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✿ ⋆。 ゚ ☁︎。⋆。 ゚ ☾ ゚ 。⋆ ⋆。 ゚ ☁︎。⋆。 ゚ ☾ ゚ 。⋆✿
🧸; Wally is Joey's comfort and safe source
What I find most endearing in their relationship is that Wally of all people is Joey's source of comfort. He knows how to take care of himself as seen in D.O.D.G.E.B.A.L.L but this trait is apparently forgotten because in S.A.F.E.T.Y he doesn't use his dodgeball skills but actually, the trait wasn't forgotten, it's because he feels safe and protected with Wally. Remember his brother was knocked out when he was fighting against the wizard while his parents did nothing but in S.A.F.E.T.Y he didn't even tried to crawl away from danger, he's either paralyzed or searching/waiting for his brother but after seeing his older brother, he's cheerful and smiling again.
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So when his source of comfort is shattered (when Wally gets mad at him), he just crawls away from him while crying and refuses to hear his apology. And this is despite the fact that Joey has seen his mom get mad (who's scarier than his brother when angered) at Wally and didn't cried. And this makes sense because his mom isn't his source of comfort like Wally.
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Joey probably considers Wally his best friend, as he's always there for him when he needs it and gets to be vulnerable.
✿ ⋆。 ゚ ☁︎。⋆。 ゚ ☾ ゚ 。⋆ ⋆。 ゚ ☁︎。⋆。 ゚ ☾ ゚ 。⋆✿
🍬; Their parents' irresponsability are what makes their bond strong
Similar to the previous point but now more focused on the parents. They're trying, their dad works 2-3 jobs and the mom is a housewife but.... they're very irresponsable. They let a baby fight a wizard (I know they were tied but they didn't even tried to break free or telling the wizard to back off) and let a baby wander around all alone without bothering to look after him. It's one thing to be busy and to try but it's another to leave a baby who's at oldest a year old, see his brother without thinking of the possibilities he might get run over, kidnapped, get lost, crushed, etc... Yes, he knows how to defend himself but he's still a naïve baby, this would make Joey finding safety in Wally more understandable.
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✿ ⋆。 ゚ ☁︎。⋆。 ゚ ☾ ゚ 。⋆ ⋆。 ゚ ☁︎。⋆。 ゚ ☾ ゚ 。⋆✿
🥧; He brings the best side in Wally
It's undeniable Wally is a good person but he always does his hardest to keep his sweeter side hidden, even with Kuki, so when it comes to apologizing.... He pretty much needs to go through painful experiences or get his pride in shambles to do it but with Joey it's a different case. He's not only openly affectionate with him (when he always avoid to do it with his friends and sometimes acts disgusted when he receives affection) but he genuinely apologizes to Joey in front of his friend/ally and the villain, he shows vulnerability in an environment he knows his pride would be destroyed and taken advantage by the villain of the episode but he doesn't care because his brother comes first. He calls Hoagie out when he asked Joey to dance, whispering him he's doing it because he wanted to be nice. Wally is not the nicest kid and it speaks volume of how much he cares about his brother's feelings when he wants to show his softer side.
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And let's not forget how he spent the whole episode using his own body as a shield for Joey, not caring about the competition he's been trying to win because his baby brother is hurt, etc... When Joey is in the picture, Wally drops all his foolishness and becomes serious and responsable.
✿ ⋆。 ゚ ☁︎。⋆。 ゚ ☾ ゚ 。⋆ ⋆。 ゚ ☁︎。⋆。 ゚ ☾ ゚ 。⋆✿
🍟; Wally's parental role is taking a toll on him
It wasn't really focused on the show but from what we saw, it can be assumed he's also playing a fatherly role to Joey but... in the scenes he was shown crying, he takes it a bit too far, he's reacting how Joey should be (the cut was fake but still) and has a meltdown after destroying the robot because his brother is hurt but he reacts more like he failed Joey.
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And I get him, because in the whole episode he was a jerk to him, made him cry, Joey didn't really accepted his apology, he indirectly caused Joey's "cut" and is bleeding. None of it were positive interactions at all and it kept getting worse, even if he protects him, it feels like it's not enough. If it weren't for Hoagie, Wally wouldn't even forgive himself at all and would think he's a failure of a brother because he couldn't prevent his little brother from getting hurt.
✿ ⋆。 ゚ ☁︎。⋆。 ゚ ☾ ゚ 。⋆ ⋆。 ゚ ☁︎。⋆。 ゚ ☾ ゚ 。⋆✿
🧃; Wally's hidden jealousy
This one isn't that big of a story but it's still interesting. While he has a positive relationship with Joey, it's implied he's jealous of him and we can see that in S.A.F.E.T.Y when Joey unintentionally stole the spotlight from him, telling him to go home and eventually snaps at him.
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And in D.O.D.G.E.BA.L.L he might be secretly in denial about not really defeating the wizard but Joey. When Hoagie tries to inform him, he immediately refuses to hear him because deep down he knows Joey did it.
✿ ⋆。 ゚ ☁︎。⋆。 ゚ ☾ ゚ 。⋆ ⋆。 ゚ ☁︎。⋆。 ゚ ☾ ゚ 。⋆✿
🍭; In spite of this, Joey does admire Wally and is his hero
In a blink-or-miss moment, Wally does his silly dance before preparing himself and in the next few scenes, Joey is seen the make the same dumb dance as Wally for the whole episode (which Wally is completely unaware of).
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Joey's reason to be here in the first place is because he wanted to see his brother in action and to root for him. He does have/mimick some of Wally's habits such as being a great fighter, being aggressive to enemies he can take down, being bored of his dad's stories and the silly dance.
✿ ⋆。 ゚ ☁︎。⋆。 ゚ ☾ ゚ 。⋆ ⋆。 ゚ ☁︎。⋆。 ゚ ☾ ゚ 。⋆✿
🍊; Wally is actually the father figure Joey needed
They may bicker and stuff but it's clear they love each other. With their parents being irresponsable and Joey not having an adult to rely on, Wally is the closest thing he has to a father figure. He's not the perfect one because of his anger issues but considering his age, it's justified but despite that, Wally is a good influence and presence in Joey's life. Wally takes great care of him and is always gentle when handling him even when he's mad at him (like carefully putting him on the floor instead of dropping him on the floor). Yes, Wally can be very harsh on him but it was mostly out of love, anger and concern (he could've been more tactful about it but his anger was understandable). And Wally has more emotional responsability than most adults in KND as he apologizes to Joey and makes up for his harsh behavior with hugs protecting him from danger. And his actions are what made Joey forgive him, he rejected his apology but after seeing how Wally will put himself at risk so he can be safe was what made him realize that Wally does care about him even when he gets mad at him.
It can be unfair for Wally to fulfill such a heavy role at such a young age but it's clear he doesn't regret it and knows no one else would look after him. He never took it out on Joey and this shows the maturity Wally has.
✿ ⋆。 ゚ ☁︎。⋆。 ゚ ☾ ゚ 。⋆ ⋆。 ゚ ☁︎。⋆。 ゚ ☾ ゚ 。⋆✿
Hope you guys liked my post about them, those 2 makes me so ill, I love those sillies so much! If anybody makes content of them or Joey content, please tag me, I'm a huge Beetles Brothers and Joey enjoyer.
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saw we were sharing curtis bros stuff so i figured i’d join in on the fluff haha
When Darry was twelve and Pony was six he was pushing Pony on the swings and Pony kept asking him to “Push me higher Darry!” and he would….until Pony flipped over the top of the swingset and landed on his face. Darry was FREAKING out and was like “Pony?! Pony are you alright?!” and Pony sits up with this gigantic smile (which is now missing one of his front teeth) and was just going “Again, again!”
Pony learned guitar from his dad and Darry learned piano from his mom. Post book Darry teaches Pony piano and Pony teaches Darry guitar. It’s a binding activity they share
Pony sings in the shower. One time Soda heard and he started singing along and Pony screamed at the top of his lungs and pelted Soda with a hairbrush
Whenever Darry or Soda gets a hefty paycheck they go to this steakhouse place that lets you eat however much you want as a way to celebrate
Soda was real mad when Pony was born because he wasnt an actual pony and Soda told all his friends he was having a pony as a baby brother (he asked if they could recycle Pony
One time while cleaning the attic the Curtises found old tapes and photo books of them as babies and kids and they spend the rest of the day watching the videos and looking at old pictures abd bringing up old memories (tears were shed but they won’t admit it)
Darry is the only one allowed to tickle Pony out of bed because one time Soda did it (it’s a process, he starts with somewhere Pony isn’t too ticklish and they escalate) but Soda went STRAIGHT for Pony’s ribs and Pony laughed so hard he threw up
Hope these are good lol
HI! I LOVE ALL OF THESE!!!!!
To add a few:
Ponyboy definitely learned to walk late because he was the youngest and had two doting parents and two adoring older brothers + the rest of the gang so he spent the first two years of his life being carried EVERYWHERE so he didn't feel the need to walk
Soda plays the 'drums'- basically just taps on the furniture and annoys Pony and Darry- when they're practicing piano and guitar respectively, and they have literally chased him out of the house because of it
All three Curtis brothers tilt their heads slightly when they're confused. Sometimes it makes two-bit snicker because he'll say something odd while they're all on the couch and they look kind of cartoonish when they do it in unison
Darry likes nice cologne (as nice as they can afford anyway) and guards his small collection VICIOUSLY
Soda and Steve always make really lewd jokes around Ponyboy because they think its funny how red he gets
Two-bit sometimes swaps out Darry's morning newspaper with nudie mags whenever he sees it on the porch or in the mailbox and Darry is convinced it's Steve and Soda who are doing it, no matter how much they protest. Two-bit gleefully watches the chaos and keeps his mouth shut
Thanks for the ask xx
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solradguy · 2 years
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can you post ur favorite official a.b.a arts? shes my favorite by far i love her so fckn much
Daisuke's technical skill on the A.B.A. pieces in the GGX art book are amazing so I'll just post all of them here. The one of her in the factory (the second one here) is probably my favorite though. The subdued palette and especially detailed background stand out compared to Daisuke's usual work. He laments in a few of the captions that they didn't let him draw backgrounds often and it's such a shame because he's got an incredible grasp on manipulating perspective for dramatic angles/compositions. I'd love to know how much reference he used for stuff like that or if he had to do a lot of studies to get it right:
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averlym · 1 year
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"careful, or i'll quote that"
#adamandi#was going to be normal but then this scene popped into my head and played on loop and like#guys this scene just makes me Miserable. they're so friends now they're so happy and funny and then later in the show#she manipulates him and he tries to kill her and like. my god beatrix vincent friendship. omg.#im so. it kills me. i realise these arent the most accurate character styles but i Had to get it out. oh my god. literally the other day i#i was like ''oh haha im not going to directly draw scenes from the show im going to be Thinky and Extra'' but no actually sometimes the#the scenes from the show just hit. this line the delivery the Situations it kills me. im so hnnghghf about them#something also maybe about rewatching media knowing the whole plot and the extra Tragedy it all brings also. like to know the ending will#break your heart (but be also some sort of stunning catharsis) and to watch it all!!! again!!!! aaagh.#fun facts about the first time i watched adamandi proper after looking through the tumblrs and half-spoiling it for myself.. i went in with#the strangest assumptions of portia dies/ vincent makes a virus that kills the other nominees instead of actually stabby stabby and the#new invented biological thing would make him the winner a-la frankenstein style //. quincy cuts off his hand????? i am not sure where any#of these came from T-T but im glad i was wrong on literally every count.#miscellaneous brainrots from re-watching.. in the very very start i think vincent is wearing a mask in word to the wise?? like it was probs#a covid safety thing but it makes me go teehee for some reason. like the whole infectious thing was foreshadowed LMAO (approx 35 seconds in#also the balloons. and the admin. and the balloons. the way it's horrific and the balloons gently rain down#and you can see them bounce in the stunned silence. ooo that little detail. what a moment.#also at this point? i have been noticing the little inconsistencies in actions btwn shots but a) they're not seeable unless you're looking#Closely like i was for specific moments as references.. and b) it makes u think about the inconsistency of theatre as a medium and how nth#is ever delivered the same two ways which is really just !!!! to me. smth smth so so many ways to intepret characters and how everything is#always in flux every single cycle. theatre medium my beloved.#last side note from now: i am so abnormal about the marmorius society members who were phaethon nominees in their own right and instead#perished helping ambrose with HIS project. like. that is some sort of love there isn't it? like???? yes they're all bullies and awful but.#i've been reaching tag limit really quickly with all the recent posts. rambles i guess. so so many thoughts. well actual tags now i guess!#vincent aurelius lin#beatrix valeria campbell
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manasurge · 3 months
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bleh
#blabbering#rambling/whining/complaining/venting ahead:#I think the horrors have finally caught up to me and the depresso is starting to take hold#i don't usually experience this until winter but I think the sudden drop of activity and people going on hiatus and such -#has triggered this early for me#basically I can't be left alone with my thoughts for too long or i start spiraling REALLY badly.#i don't really handle change very well haha...#i have the notorious curse of second guessing anything and everything and putting it on repeat in my head and then amplifying it#which sucks bc I don't have any more escapisms that work now bc this was already my escapism and I have no human connections irl#(I'm not kidding either. I've failed time and time again to make friends irl and was always the proactive one about it. But alas... ugh)#my only source for connections is online bc i struggle to make friends (especially at my age and how my energy keeps depleting and depletin#might lowkey be sharkweek but usually I just get more agitated and not this (this is very specific to the winter horrors™ for me)#i guess I may as well check out the spears while they're around still (tho in between me making dinner). I'm just feeling super bummed out#and not excited like I was the other day about it (ofc I blame the depresso™).#I don't even know what to do for my beta characters. Head empty. Head gone. sigh.#also it sucks bc next week is gonna kick my ass at work (canada day/july 4th/july in general/5 DAYS and long shifts in there too)#i'm going to be so tired and so alone and with nothing to look forward to. Idk what to do bc none of my usual distractions are effective no#No escape. No seretonin. No company. Nothin'. I notice I when i start getting bad like this when I fall back hard into pokemon#(because it was my childhood escapism and I was a neglected only child who was left alone a lot; hence the connection lol)#i'll probably just have to suffer through it and be an absolute wreck of a person i think. I don't really have any other options#watch me get sick again bc canada sucks to work bc everyone has it off and they ALL GO TO THE STORE I WORK AT AND IT SUCKS.#gonna try to draw more too but the depresso is eating my brain worms (the healthy brain worms)
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aashiyancha · 7 months
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Puffbun progress report:
-I overestimated myself. Chapter 1 is still not ready for this week.
-Half of the first chapter is all ready to go though! Almost there >:)
- Here's a doodle introducing the main cast
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-I did not intend to color code them as obviously as I did in this doodle lol
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twilightarcade · 3 months
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to do list for my eyes Only
#wordstag#getting ready 4 bed... made wraps for tomorrow!#I have 2 text girl who im friends with about pizza rolls tomorrow.. think she'd find it silly#ummm! Need to figure out what I'm making for July 4th? Going to the store tomorrow or so. Maybe hold a poll haha#pssssshhhhhhh... have collected a few cloud photos and I wanna try my had at drawing them. Likely not to post as I took them nearby...#probably going to take a shower in the morning. Need to do that#I Will say we washed our sheets recently. Big stuff. Need to put laundry away tho.#hmm............ working on pixel art as of late. God am I bad at pixel art. Its ok tho.#I neeed to have like. A conversation with someone. Haven't had the energy as of lat1e though. Or as of ever. Horrid.#need to go back to the library soon as well.... return my books#I may invest in keeping a time slotted schedule. I think it would be beyond good for me but also that means doing initial setup#like planners is like ok do this... eventually! Lol! But if it was loosely time slotted?#I'd hate to have to digitally because that puts on a lot of pressure. Counting down the minutes and such#maybe I can repurpose a planner...? Lots of questions to be asked. No answer today tho#also may invest in another goofy craft.. have a few Amazon gift cards collecting dust (Do Those Expire ?)#I donnou what do people buy off of Amazon anyhow? Questions for someone who is wiser than me.#I really want to invest in a nice desk though. Would kill for a nice desk n chair combo up in here#to be honest I still haven't quite gotten over lounge beds or whatever they're called. The bunks with desks under then?#that's the shit right there. Would be an absolute pain though.#but anyhow to do list... look into making an actual to do list.#we've used like. Notion n such on and off.#I quite like notion but never checked it enough for it to actually do anything for me... kind of the same problem as the Planner Problem#bullet journaling was Better till it got to the question of WHEN we were going to do all that stuff. Trick question we weren't.#I may try time blocking for like a week. See how it goes. Got a lot of time on our hands and haven't done much with it#spreading ourselves too thin etcetc. Gotta focus our efforts...#Ok that's enough from me; goodnight folks. Have a. A good one. Again. Sweet dreams and such.
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fragmentedblade · 7 months
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Not to be a jingfu on main, but it's so cute that Jing Yuan thought of Fu Xuan with those jelly beans
#me: the Xianzhou characters are all just coworkers#also me whenever anyone is shown to be fond and have intimate knowledge of some other character: awwww#Like Fu Xuan and Jing Yuan playing starchess and teasing each other or making a reference to things they like#or Jing Yuan talking about young Yukong#Quingque apparently disliking Fu Xuan but obviously that not being the case‚ knowing what she likes and how she thinks#Fu Xuan hiding that she has a sweet tooth but Jing Yuan and Quingque knowing it and teasing her for it#I don't know. There are a lot of instances of these small intimate details in the middle of what looks like a coworker relationship#Good coworkers‚ but coworkers nonetheless#And ironically it moves me so much? Even more so than Belobog. I've been told several times that Belobog seemed more tight. And I agree#In Belobog people were friends or family or companions but linked by something closer than mere coworkers with Wildfire#Even Sampo in the Underworld was strangely 'theirs'. He had the magenta colour of Wildfire and he was trusted to some extent#The Luofu characters don't have that. And yet the fragments of intimacy scattered through their interactions move me a lot#These are people who have known each other for centuries. Jing Yuan knows of Yukong's youth‚ its joy and grief#He knows Fu Xuan has a sweet tooth and teases her about her height. Quingque does too#Fu Xuan chastises both of them for being lazy but she knows they're smart and good at their job. She plays starchess with Jing Yuan#Quingque mocks Fu Xuan for being a workaholic but is very aware of the weight she carries both in her position and ideas about destiny#I won't mention Yanqing and Bailu because there is obviously more than a coworker bound when it comes to them#But yes I love the moments of intimate knowledge scattered through the Xianzhou‚ so telling of the fact that these people have known#each other for longer than several human lifetimes‚ and that perhaps they don't necessarily regard each other as more than their coworker#But perhaps that's enough in order for them to care. Perhaps in a lifetime over one thousand years the intimacy gained with a coworker#through several centuries is something beyond what we could understand in our decades lifespan#But also‚ perhaps‚ I don't know. Also‚ perhaps‚ the do care beyond coworkers in that strange line between work and friendship#Perhaps it's strange for Xianzhou natives to tell apart that kind of relationship after so much intimacy and knowledge through the years#And perhaps‚ once again‚ as it often happens for them‚ they think they'll always have enough time to tell; until they run out of it#They play chess together. Quingque can lose time because Fu Xuan can't stay mad if she brings her sweets. Are they just coworkers?#We play chess. I know what tea and sweets you like best. I brought them today since you would indulge me and play starchess with me#Thanks for playing with me‚ I'm running out of book puzzles. You keep divining my moves but I'll invent a fake story to distract you#Are we coworkers or something more like friends? Where is the line after so many years?#I talk too much but I love this charged nothingness haha I find it ironically so true to how many relationships in real life develop#And I find it so moving‚ that representation of this endearing smallness of everyday life. Of these small things is life made
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bunnyb34r · 10 months
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I know I should just block (and not OPEN) tags and posts ab '24 but my brain is stupid and likes to be informed even if it makes me worse
#marquilla#im not even joking when i say this next election makes me wanna kms so bad. im fucking terrified and i feel like we already know what's#gonna happen. not bc people arent voting or organizing i mean bc of how far the right has gotten and how angry they are that a#dem won so theyre gonna show up in droves and it's like god i wish we could idk have some safegaurds in place??? like oh idk you#incite an insurrection you Can't run for president?? but also that wouldnt fully stop shit bc florida has its own neo nazi running and#theres more behind him in the wings. but like idk man i just get so fucking suicidal thinking ab the future#and my drs. are like well then dont look at the news??? 'i sure dont' mkay thats great (not) but um i CAN'T not watch bc i need to#be informed i need to know. and they're like well then stop worrying ab it til election day?? LIKE THAT HELPS#so i just dont bring it up. and i just spiral and have breakdowns in the shower and think ab making a will and shit yknow normal stuff#bc this is fine! just dont engage! stop worrying it's like a year away! it MIGHT get better! idk Join in your community then??#like yes yes thats a start but with what fucking energy when im bedbound most of the time im not working and that doesnt stop these fascist#s like me helping the community garden would be good for the community and probably my mental health in general BUT that doesnt deal with#the actual fear that makes me wanna Kermit#like it really fucking feels like all i can do is pray and hope god somehow intervenes (rapture anyone?) and that things do go well and#that the outright outspoken nzis don't win but like I really just wanna die man#i know the outcome more than likely will not directly affect my life bc im white. cis passing. and can go back in the closet regretfully#but like that doesnt reassure me any bc i have friends and loved ones and generally just give a shit ab other people and how this WILL#affect them directly and that terrifies me. it really feels like we cant ever have a moment to just exist yknow??#idk man i just wanna die bc im so scared haha how fun (: how normal (: this is fine. everything is fine.
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sysig · 1 year
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If you’re happy, we’re happy (Patreon)
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widevibratobitch · 10 months
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its 'i know it doesnt matter and im used to it at this point but im actually a little sad that im kinda ugly' hours
#its ok ill stop thinking about it in a moment but yeah. thats what happens when i see pictures of myself next to my friends#they're all so hot and beautiful this is like. kinda unfair ngl lol#and like. i realise they dont mean those as actually backhanded compliments. but it sure does feel that way#most of the time i do try to embrace it and ive mostly made piece with the fact that im not here to be pretty but to be weird and funny#peace ffs*#but sometimes you'd just want to see a candid photo someone took of you when you weren't looking#and not feel the need to immediately turn it into a joke because the only alternative available is to confront that the fact that you are.#indeed. Fucking Ugly lol#like idk. i genuinely dont mind that when im with my friends at home. but here all the girls at this fucking uni#are so OBSESSED with their looks#and i was kinda mean to one yesterday. still in a haha-jokey way but goddammit i hate how good it felt#cause like girl. dont think i dont know what you're doing when we're taking selfies. and its okay.#i can be The Ugly Friend That's Only There To Make You Even Prettier. i can be that. but i want you to KNOW that I KNOW.#you're not fooling me darling <3 and i honestly find it even more insulting that you'd think you could lol#babygirl ive been doing *this* my whole life. believe me i know how to stop that fucking behaviour. you're not being as subtle as you think#*spot lol#peace and love but i really would be SUCH a different person if i were pretty its not even funny. so maybe it's for the better huh
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it's not everyday you see your friends passing notes about you :)
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munamania · 2 years
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it’s just i spend so much time sharing little things about myself in the hopes that it sparks a connection with people and also i guess that maybe sometimes people will think of me yk. to feel like i exist outside of my own head. i dont think this is a bad thing it’s just where im at it’s a natural want for connection and it like. works for me. and i also dont think it’s bad to have the friends i do that are like ‘surface level’ yk. i still appreciate them and love them. it’s just, this is where im at, desperately clawing in different spaces in my life to be known even tho it’s embarrassing lol. and it just sucks that i never had to try to with her. not only did we have this extremely insane chemistry right off the bat, she’s someone that in like every way has made it seem like she actively wants to know me. beyond just the polite and whatever kind of level. and it’s like, of course that feels absolutely amazing given ive been pining since day 1 but also i just like her a lot as a person. you know. and it all sucks and makes me wanna combust sometimes that things aren’t the way i’d like them to be between us of course lmfao but i also think she’s an incredible person and she’s managed to make me feel so safe and calm and simultaneously obviously fucking crazy and energized and whatever. u know. whatever my point is here im gonna be done now <3
#jk! it's like. she remembers shit abt me. not only these things that im basically handing to the world around me like hi hey please#think of me. she notices the stuff i dont make a point to point out. stuff that i say really offhandedly or to myself#she remembered what cup i was going to use our first time hanging out she remembered my posters even tho i only showed her my room for like#a second. shes looked up movies i mentioned she. in her also very drunken state. paid attention to the exact cup i was carrying around#that was actually just sweet and smart of her. when we left she was like Um hey. that's not the one u had lol#sometimes she references things i've said and i have to stop myself from going Oh ;-; on the spot#and early on we'd tease each other even though we. didnt really know each other. so it was over the most basic shit and that was#its own thing that felt all <33333 yk. stupid silly goofy#so now. shes not talking to me for whatever reason and i think lied abt why she didnt answer last weekend and it's weird#and it's like. yeah it sucks knowing they're still evidently goin strong. but also im like damn this person that i was prepared to#call a friend and really like. care about at this point. is acting like we're at square 1#and we're not close enough for me to Fully be like Yo dude wtf. but we're definitely beyond the point where it's like#oh this is someone i just hung out with once and we didnt rlly click so im just going to be polite but not engage#if that makes sense. yk.#so monday im gonna try to get some clarity on the whole thing but ig here's me lamenting rn#haha u thought u were getting just a regular non film girl vent post. sike#im not like breaking down over this i promise im just reflecting. and didnt want to get up for my journal. so here's this#film girl saga#long post
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averlym · 1 year
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whshdfhfjf.,,,
#close up!! because i firstly Did Not render them with such insanity in order for tumblr's lack of general resolution to make it blur#look at all the lines!!! teehee i still really really like this style of digital painting it's super super fun to do!!! and also secondly#because i went back and added a tag ramble and as i seem to often be doing??? lately?? reached the 30 tag limit and went 'hm ok how else..'#anyway the tag essay on that one is now up and talks about the artwork generally and miscellaneous thoughts!! that said. i need a space to#ramble about beatrix at Length because look you don't draw and paint etc a character for like ten hours without having a lot of thoughts#anyways ! i digress terrifically. tag rambles are more like trains of thoughts masquerading as subways and you get on and it's unfortunately#a rollercoaster track. but this is My Blog and i can do Whatever I Want as long as i don't hurt anyone <- affirmations!! also Harm Principle#lately it's been like *kicks up feet* *opens tumblr tags* *treats it as own personal journal* and tbh Good for me!! anyways back to beatrix#fun fact ! the thing that pushed me over the edge to go watch the musical after looking through the tumblr tag was a very specific poll.#and the fact that the winning option was blue hair and pronouns made me double over laughing so hard i had to go see the source material#mm i feel like lately the academic Context has been tossing me essentially into a blender HAHA ;-; so everyone in adamandi is to some extent#a Mood. but bea-specific (haha be specific)(sorry!)(wow this is the same reaction mechanism of my friend who points out innuendos)(...)#i think it's the wanting to prove herself. like from the whole abuela etc thing there's proof here she's got a Stable Support System of sort#and instead what beatrix continues to do is push themselves. 'i guess u could say i'm married to my work? god that's depressing' // no one#here to enforce that // abuela tells me to rest says i'm constantly stressed and i'll just get depressed like before but i still have to try#like. that shred of desperation that pushes you to the brink to neglect yourself (well i guess physically but also your morals..) and like!!#the whole 'lose half your soul thing' proves she's self aware!! like they know what they're doing is super dubious yknow! but they're still#they're still doing it even if it goes into conflict with their morality system in a way and then they justify it to themselves (see pt 1#of ghostwriter) and the whole wanting to achieve at all costs Despite the self awareness. (i think? this aspect also applied to quincy. but#thoughts on him will come later). more beatrix specific also is the fact that they genuinely adore their work.. 'i just love it here where#you know they'll be printing forever and you are just part of it' because that does kind of resonate with me. also the being behind in the#competition is real!!! i'm maybe talking about Art as a subject because that same drive for it exists on my good days i think. even#even when nothing seems to be going right and you've ended up at the back the intent passion inherent in what you do is still there!!!#the genuine. care she has for reporting. is so !!!!! to me... other beatrix thoughts include 'why reveal yourself at the end' aka vincent's#'u should have stayed silent u had a smart plan' like rip to them but i would not // it feels with bea's complex character i can't imagine h#her Not doing that. like the guilt is real i guess. and i am running out of tags but! smth also about her fervent hope or smth that she'll#eventually get to where she wants. and the resilient determination.. 'i won't let their deaths be pointless there's more good i'm gonna do'#they're so so real for that. i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing; seeing myself reflected in aspects of characters like this.. but it's#it's there regardless. smth smth just make your peace with the person you are ig!! tldr beatrix campbell my beloved. hehe#adamandi
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puppys-rhythm-heaven · 3 months
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i am being so fucking autistic about a video game i've only played an hour and a half of and have absorbed like 99% of my information about through osmosis from my bestie(s. it's complicated) and fanfiction. catastrophic levels of autism. i can't stress this in words i don't think y'all understand. or care honestly sdflkjfdskdfsjsfdkj-
#puppy rambles#slightly hurts to know no one seems to really care but eh. can't blame anyone i know y'all follow me for rhythm heaven#i think i have been making high-quality posts though y'all aren't appreciating my incomprehensible rambles about persona enough </3#/lh#(which is funny since this blog isn't even really a rhythm heaven blog anymore i don't think that'll be my main hyperfixation for a bit)#(if ever. it was uhhhhhh. kindddddd of unhealthy. haha lol xd :3)#(turns out a rhythm game that i barely interact with the fandom for is not stimulating enough for my adhd and autism!!! shocking i know)#(i still love rhythm heaven but it was bad for my brain-)#(i'm happy for all the friends i made through it though :333 even if i've only talked to like. one or two of you guys cuz of anxiety)#(and even then just through asks because the idea of interacting with people on tumblr through other means honestly terrifies me)#anyways it's going down now persona 3 reload bops hard idk 99% of the lyrics though#persona songs are good at being incomprehensible. even if you can understand the lyrics i think they're kinda nonsensical sometimes#i mean. check it out i'm in the house like carpet. that's an actual line from a persona song#which is hilarious to me. funniest metaphor#anyways wiping all out is the best persona song i think (<- only actually remembers what like 10 persona songs sound like)#been a little while but i'm still prattling. not a princess (a lot of anger in it) not your cutie girlfriend oh no don't you know#three dots connect to rectangles. demolition#yes i did specifically play p3p and specifically as girl. i probably won't play it more for a while now tho tbh#i kinddddd of spoiled myself on. basically all of the important plot points. through lesbian fanfiction#look can you really blame me. like *vaguely gestures* the door and the toaster are fucking KISSING#they should undoor. i knowwwwww it goes against the game's message but. shut up. i like happy endings#no dead lovers allowed over here >:(#they deserve to be happy and not crucified
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