#but I'll continue again tomorrow)
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A quick try to bring my V into TS4!
#really like her so far esp with the fact that she's lacking the cyberware and i've only got her base features down#i'll probably continue tomorrow to work on her again#but right now i am so tired YAWNNN#ts4#my sims#the sims 4#the sims#sims 4#sims#simblr#my sims pictures#v
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it felt amazing to finally see that green checkmark on ao3, to finally move the full fic to my finished folders on docs, to finally say with my whole chest that it's really completed...
I'm proud of myself and what I managed to make, I'd been working on this fic for over a year, and I felt a lot of doubts while writing. I didn't expect to write so much. I often thought I was saying too much, or the fic wasn't good enough. when I reread it, I realized it wasn't perfect, but it doesn't have to be. I wrote something that was so unabashedly me, and I'm so grateful for that feeling. I'm so happy that I can write what I enjoy, that I can be myself while doing what I have always loved the most. I learned and progressed, and I can feel only excitement for whatever I write next!!
thank you for your patience, and if you end up reading, thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart 💞
I took off work tomorrow to celebrate lol (actually because I'm still sick but we're calling it a celebration). I don't know what to say next so here's some cute pictures of aki. three cheers for fic completion 🎉🎉🎉
#it's weird because#I thought after finishing this#I'd want to not write again for a very long time#but I just want to write even more tomorrow lol#insanity is real yall don't get the topknot virus#I appreciate everyone who has stuck with me!#comments and reblogs and kudos on ao3 are always appreciated but don't feel pressured#fanfic seriously changed my life for the better#at the time I picked up writing again I was in a very lost state#but since then I've been happier and happier#I've grown my writing but also grown as a person#I want to improve my writing while continuing to make the silly things I enjoy#don't know what I'm saying anymore#tomorrow I'll celebrate by eating a strawberry cake I baked with my mum#and I will give all the akis a bite too 💪💪💪💪
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pre-holiday leave crumbs
#sk8 the infinity#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#renga#hey. if I give u a bottle labeled wine with somethin else inside. would u drink it#anyways. tomorrow I Travel#The Turbulance evened out alright! so the Traveling could no longer be postponed#three days on da road babeyy (<- shaking and crying)#goin to a market! I'll try to get a new kitchen knife there. will be better than whatever the fucks goin on in our kitchen rn#anyways. post-fic haze has settled in once again I am simply no thought. this will continue for hopefully five hours#until I gotta get up for car time#kinda whittling down the 20yo reki design slowly to get to a point where it feels Correct#20yo langa is already perfect. maybe to nobody but me but I stand the fuck by it#I believe in langa looking like a guy lesbians would hit on by accident in his 20s. I hold myself to it#oh yeah if ur asking. no that was not a cigarette in the first pic. sorry Im a tightass about smoking thats a lollipop#in my head its the pickled mango flavour that alpenliebe already made a hard candy version of here#hard sour candy shell with. chili salt core. it is good (?) but it hurts my stomach (I will not stop eating them)#also if u catch the acc name going outside the panel in the comic. its bc I could NOT leave it at just 'random white girl'#it has to be the full thing I cannot do this fake fictional twitter user like that#literally the only preliminary caution I take for funny comics. nothign else makes sense I dont care. this is necessary however#anyways. it is time for baku to be horizontal and shit. so here we goooo#have a good nite lads! idk what will happen in the next 3 days! will most probably be silent! and then dip pen comms will open again#eat well sleep well! two daysborday until labor day
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🚬
#neo.txt#fine morning#tomorrow I'll continue working on commissions in the morning#disappointed with news on the new semester because I gotta curse through a class that I thought I didn't have to do#but apparently fuck art students and titles- they're not valid to cancel the class so I gotta do it again
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-If I say that it took me about 4/5 hours to get all of this, would you guys believe me? :'))
#I will explain later why so “many” items and the 4 elytras#now I'll probably be sleeping (or maybe not) because I scheduled this post for tomorrow (in this case today)#but I did all this today(yesterday in this case). and so..#I still wanted to continue at my usual time and post in the morning(rn) just so I don't lose the habit :]#but yeah. dw. even if you guys don't want to or if don't even want to be interested in this post..#I'm still going to share almost “““everything””” I went through to try to get all these items!#all because I feel completely alone and I like sharing things like this with you guys(also it's a way to get content for this blog) <333#playing minecraft#minecraft on nintendo switch#minecraft#i'm mel and this is my blog✌️#game blog#scheduled post#sorry for the bad quality! I was again playing on tv so- sorry :')))
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Sometimes I think about how 154 doesn't have any specific emotion tied to the two sides of their face unlike other enasonas. I rolled with it anyway because it gives then a lot more freedom when switching sides: it doesn't really do anything!
They thought about this too, then forgot about it soon after.
#sekwar's art#artists on tumblr#ena#ena joel g#enasona#ena oc#154#sketchbook#this post is coming to you from a hotel in texas#i wanted to draw 154 again#sometimes i wonder what scenarios i should put them through#suggest some if you have any! i'll be back next week for the continuing adventures if there are any#now if you'll excuse me i have a ship to catch tomorrow#*exits through the conveniently placed portal*
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(wip) alright. I’ll bite
#zin.txt#the horrors of hawin lake#I've been drawing like crazy these past few days huh#tomorrow I'll be going back to the big city and continue studying again for the alternative college entrance routes#in case I don't get accepted#and I'll probably say goodbye to my drawing tablet again AGHHHHHHHHHHHH whatever
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UhhhhhhH
I don't really have anything witty for this one. Just. Don't acknowledge out loud that it's almost been a year, I'll sob.
#darkside detective#the darkside detective#mcdooley#Shout out Chimera. Probably made the progress go faster than either of us realized skhsjdkfk#tbh though I think the reason this one (and. the last two actually) were so rough is just like#They're the ones that can most be called 'filler' because of how I chose to format things#Because in a post dooley world I decided that every chapter needed to be tied to a case in Fumble#But also Royal Fumble being my least favourite case in the Duology prolly didn't help the writers block#Woah cringe admission right there#...Man I feel like I usually have so much more to say here#OH! Frederick! He exists now!#He continues to be a slightly different person every time he's mentioned (oops) but I'm just hoping his general vibe is coming off right#Anyway Uhh! Chapter 10! I didn't hate it when I published it!#Ask me again tomorrow I'll probably've changed my mind. Whoops.
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Been bending backwards trying to make something I can post but nothing I make looks good enough for me >_>
#Also at a point again where I wanna tweak Mel's mug#But I know that'll just result into me having a small crisis and reverting back to his old version#I'll try to sit down and make some poses tomorrow so that I can possibly#Maybe get a Volatile part put again soon#Really frustrated that it's so difficult for me to continue this story#Nonsims#saviorhide
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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Struggles here, struggles there, struggles are everywhere.
#[ noooo nnoi i'll let you have some good times too !! ]#[ hello guys! ]#[ been busy >-< but i'm back home now before i leave AGAIN tomorrow ahaha ]#[ been re-reading my KNB!AU for nnoitra and...... it's so good wtf ]#[ NEED to continue it ]#[ why did i stop on chapter 6? :/ ]#[ probably bc i'm not sure where to take the story from there xD ]#[ gotta figure it out! ]#[ anyways - hope you're all doing good guys! i'm REALLY sleepy so don't know if i'll be able to write >-< ]#despair for me. ╱ in character.
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"The Moon looks beautiful tonight doesn't It....?"
#(🚂) *.✧ — Valentine Grantz#(♡) ｡.ﾟ— Eli Clark#taking a little break from my project to talk about them bc my brain is FRIED and my back is BROKEN#just gotta say. ehem#THANK YOU SO MUCH MILO FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL ART OMFG I LITERALLY WOKE UP AND SAW THIS WITH MY EYES ALMOST CLOSED. STILL ASLEEP AND JUMPED#MAN IT GOT ME SO EXCITED ALL DAY. THINKING ABOUT THE MOMENT TO POST IT#I'M SO PROUD OF U MAN. THE SHADONG IT'S SO SOFT AND BEAUTIFUL#AND. I ALREADY SAID IT. BUT IDC. YOU DRAW VALENTINE SO HANDSOME MAN#THW HAIR LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL AND HIS FAAAAACEEEE. HIS EEYEEEESSSS#man you did so much justice to him THANK YOU SO NUCH I'M SO GRATEFUL#eli..... omfg#he looks so sweet and cute... that little smile of his ARGH#I LOVE HOW HIS HAIR IS POKES THROUGH THE ROBE AND THE#WHAT IS IT CALLED#MY ENGLISH IS FAILING ME#DAMN IT#YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.#BUT HE LOOKS SO CUTE ARGGHHH I wanna kiss him so bad I need to k#the way he holds his hand.... looking at the moon#oh gosh you knew exactly what to do I'm so.#gotta make a confession but#I completly fell in love with Eli the moment we were watching stageplay and he went to visit Aesop to talk to him and. watch. thw. mmmmmmoon#AGRHHRGGRHGRVRVRHHR#I'm not a hater I'm just#I love him so much it makes my brain hurt#now gotta continue with this thing#I'll talk more about them tomorrow#THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN MIWO#🩵 — Milo!!!#(🔮)*.♡ — Valeli
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why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up
#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director#and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production#and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out#but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again#i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately#so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me#i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me#i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added#and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad#anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much.#but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great#but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else#but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing#and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us#and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing#and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more#especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this.#and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not.#and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING#and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine.#but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad.#because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented#if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that.#but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent.#and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt#i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried.#and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over.#i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help#and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh#brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.
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#everybody's always on about miyazaki and poison swamps what about miyazaki and him making us platform off the narrowest of ledges#anyways this is where that levitating coffin from yesterday brought me#other things that happened today:#tracked down all the night cavalry and death bird fights i'd missed for some easy runes#and then lost most of them right here because there's a glitch that sometimes happens when you drop onto a branch slightly off center#that makes the game act like you just jumped off a ten story building and kills you instantly#fought the big boss crucible knight with the name i can't remember (-fuck- that gold dagger) and got the crucible armour set#fought preceptor miriam again and mr. boing boing beach ball after her and then went up the thing and found [redacted]#i finally got my somber smithing stone 7#already had an eight and a nine so now all i need is an ancient dragon one to peak off my dear bloodhound's fang#fought the “baleful shadow” which looked ominously like [redacted] which is probably foreshadowing#:(#and I finally got some manageable champions in the big jar challenge so now i can wear (most of) radahn's armor#now i'm just gonna finish off this place#tomorrow i think i'll try to round out ranni's quests#i.e. continue into the lake of rot#somehow#yay#ølden ring
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logically i know i need lithium so i don't go completely nuclear but if i'm gonna be crazy on lithium anyway what's the point in even taking it
#.txt#i only took it tonight because i need my levels checked tomorrow morning#i think they're out of range again. enough to mess me up. but i also think.#if i'm just fucking nuts (negative) on lithium then why should i bother#i know this is Mild Nuts compared to like. so nuclear i end up in a psych ward. but.#it's still bad enough that i ponder the merits of continuing to take this crap#it's impossible to keep my levels right so i end up crazy and maybe i'm just like.#fucked up in ways lithium can't fix. maybe my brain chemicals are beyond medication#whatever i guess i'll give it til my levels come back#which will be around when i run out of lithium. and then i can decide#i'm already on 1000mg a day i don't want to take more !!!!!!!!!!!!!! even if it makes me less crzy
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Song of the Day: May 20
"In Hell I'll Be in Good Company” by The Dead South
#song of the day#I'm so tired and time is again losing meaning I'll try to get back on track after this one#my brain's telling me the meeting I just finished is tomorrow's because it's still today-Monday on the inside of me but that's not right#so I've had. careful going now. I've had yesterday-Monday's meeting and today-Tuesday's morning meeting#the Idiot Project continues at its originally projected pace which is to say: I'll be hell and high-water done by next Friday#another meeting now and then training this afternoon and then after dinner it'll be the end of this new day so probably the next song then?#time!#'after I count down three rounds in hell I'll be in good company'#this song is unrecognizable without the music playing--very banjo-bounce reliant--so it's one of the few I never sing alone
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