#but after losing eventually came to the conclusion it was all bs...

[paintingformike]

i feel like i’ve thought of this before but just didn’t dwell on it too much...but the fact that in the cabin scene when will questioned mike about the way el was acting towards him and mike immediately brought up how they were talking about el’s loss should’ve been enough of a hint that the current state of their relationship (el ignoring mike) has something to do with el losing...

[tetrisfinished]

literally a GodSent...maybe an Angel

today was a tough day.

actually, most days are tough these days.

esa is becoming....I don't know even. i don't know what he's becoming but dealing with it day in day out (despite that he's off in daycare for MOST of the day) is getting more and more difficult.

he's becoming spoilt, i guess, if i had to label it anything.

he won't eat, he won't shower, he won't listen, he will tantrum, he will pee himself, he will constantly have accidents. i don't know what is happening and frankly i don't know how to deal with it.

and i remain as calm as possible for as long as possible, but then i eventually and inevitably end up exploding at him. and yelling and screaming and just letting it all out.

which is not okay. so please don't come at me with the whole parenting schpeal, because i promise you won't find anyone else in the world who is as ashamed of herself than i am.

and who is as remorseful as i become the second after it happens.

i don't know what to do. i don't know how to remain firm and i don't know how to let him be and i don't know how to calm myself and i just don't know how to parent. ultimately that's what it is. every time i find myself coming back around to the conclusion that we could or should have another child or at least try for one (Allah swt gives or does not, that's not in anyone's hands but His) - new behaviours show up in esa.

and then i'm angry all over again. angry that i even risked trying. angry about all things yasir because he's my main outlet for all of this anger.

angry angry angry angry at my life.

angry at the one main thing i think i regret to this day which i can't actually put into writing or words.

i'm angry.

and maybe i'm entitled. entitled to believing that i don't deserve this. this life, this trestment, all of this bs.

except that i'm right. i don't deserve this life. this blessing. this child, this home, this spouse, this job, i don't deserve any of it.

so what the fuck man,

what. the. fuck.

that's all. good night.

k

PS l o l o l i wrote this whole thing, posted it, left the page, and then 10 minutes later came back to my blog page only to realize i completely forgot to tell the story that i've titled this post for!

today was tough because i took esa to his (last) t-ball lesson and he just sat there and was pissed about wearing the shoes he was wearing and we basically spent 20 minutes not doing anything except me asking him to decide on what to do and him saying he wants to go to t-ball, but no he wants to go home, but he wants to wear the shoes, and he wants to be the best, and he wants to not wear the shoes.

i was THIS close to losing my shit with him in public and dragging him to the car to just fuck off and go home and skip his last goddamn lesson.

even as i'm writing this out, maybe it's visible too with my harsh fucking language, that i'm pissed. i'm feeling the anger that i was feeling back then.

and that was when a literal Godsent Angel walked by. this woman - i don't know how much of the 20 minute circus she had seen (i don't think much, because she was just walking in from the entrance) - but i assume it to be very little. but something compelled her to just interject.

she said she has a 2 and 4 year old and they're the same way. and then she asked esa to put on his shoes and showed him a loonie. and said she would give it to him if he listened. which of course. he finally did. and he went in. and she....i think she might have been there actually for esa because i was so near tears and all out humiliation that i don't know what i would have done if she hadn't come by.

but she did. subhanallah. shukar alhumdulillah. for this woman. she was so supportive and kind. and she saved me in so many ways.

yasir had a doctor's appointment tonight so he couldn't be there with me. and Allah swt answered a prayer i didn't even ask of Him. and i should be more grateful for that. it's true that He only gives us trials that we can handle. because i was not able to handle what was happening in that moment.

subhanallah.

[slow-button-off]

Carlos Sainz and the illustrious tale of him vs Ferrari strategy and why the narrative is wrong

This season the narrative that Carlos has been fixing Ferraris strategy on the fly has taken off but sadly not much of it is based on the actual facts. We don't get to hear all radio comms on the normal broadcast but what you hear is usually only the half truth.

Monaco:

Both Ferrari drivers were asked and both wanted to go from wets directly to slicks. After Perez pitted for inters the pitwall wanted to pit Carlos, he originally said he didn't want to, however then he agreed and was ready to pit. Eventually the pitwall told him to stay out otherwise he would've pitted. The reason he wasn't pitted wasn't him saying no it was because the pitwall felt like they weren't able to cover Perez with Carlos anymore because the inters were too fast at that point. And then they made the brainless decision to pit Charles for inters.

However Carlos not being pitted for inters was in fact not actually his choice in the end and he himself would've pitted because same as Charles he himself would've listened to the pitwall.

radio transcript

Silverstone:

This one really grinds my gears.

What he was told is "And the instruction is to give 10 car lengths to Charles, some breathing space. Within 10, within 10."

In all honestly idk where people got the idea from that he was told to keep the others behind forever or that those 10 car lengths were meant to be held for any longer than just the restart. Hard tyres are much harder to switch on the softs and all that these 10 car lengths were meant to do were to give Charles a teeny bit more time to get his tyres up to temp and a teeny bit more time on the others.

Carlos was never told he had to stay behind Charles, or that he was supposed to keep Perez and Hamilton behind himself forever. Idk where that idea came from but it's BS.

This call was made to somewhat save Charles race, because he was never winning it at this point. However, he could've had a better chance for a podium.

And Carlos who was very scared of the pressure of Hamilton behind him wasn't actually under that much pressure because the Merc is notoriously shite at switching any of it's tyres on. Which is also why Hamilton was collected my Perez pretty much immediately after the restart.

Had Carlos left those 10 cars at the restart (he left some space but not that much) he would've still won. He would've still gotten past Charles. However Charles might've had an easier time keeping the other two behind and considering how long he held out anyway he might've keep Hamilton behind until the end and could've ended 3rd.

Even Perez agrees that that idea from Ferrari wasn't bad considering how much pace Charles did have.

In the end that's hypotheticals. But it's definitely not like Carlos rejected a strategy that would've messed up his own race. That's a lie.

radio transcript

France:

Oh France my beloved. Yes Ferrari did get the stop and go thing about his penalty wrong. And yes he has a shite first pitstop.

But, the unsafe release was Carlos fault. He drove onto the pitlane with the red light still on as soon as his car was put down. I get being impatient after a shite pitstop but that was his fault and that was what cost him and not the second stop.

He already got lucky that he got to pit under the SC and there was absolutely no way that he was making it to the end on those tyres. They were already pretty dead and even if them completely going off wouldn't have ended in a mistake for him there was no way he was keeping the others behind for that long.

He had 12 more laps to go on Meds that already did a lot of laps. There was no way he was making it to the end either in one piece or without losing positions back.

Carlos first pitstop

Conclusion:

While Ferrari do make some sometimes pretty costly strategy errors they aren't quite as stupid as people believe and neither is the narrative that Carlos is some strategy wizard true.

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

Oh man, your last post on the “JC sacrificed more than anyone else” take. Reading it made me lose brain cells. I genuinely do not understand how you can get to that conclusion?? When I was first starting out in MDZS, I admit I didn’t mind JC at first (this is before I read the novel). I was pretty ambivalent to him but gradually grew to dislike him more and more as I moved past fanon portrayal of him. I don’t want to say I hate him but I kinda do. Anyways, ignoring my ramble, I really want to know if that was satire. Like are they joking? Cause I really don’t know how you could get even get to that point. Some JC stans takes I can get where they’re coming from even if I think they’re very misinformed but this one just made my brain buffer. Everything they said about JC is literally WWX’s personality. Even ignoring what was said about JC, how do you even decide WWX was seeking glory or some crap like that? I’m not even going to go about the novel at this point but did they even watch the live action or donghua? No matter your opinion on these adaptations, it’s very obvious in the story that WWX is literally selfless. That drives the main plot point! How do you conclude all that BS when WWX was villainized by the cultivation world for saving the Wens? Sorry for the long rant. I’m just frustrated at this point. I feel like I might need to start muting Jiang Cheng on Twitter. It’s driving up my blood pressure lol

I wish I could say I was joking, but that is a true and tried take from JC twitter standom. They all seem to love to paste Wei Wuxian's traits on him, to make him more palatable I guess, all while hating the main character. I suppose it is because they enjoy Jiang Cheng's family problems, but that is a very common trait among all the characters and Jiang Cheng is one of the worst that came out of it all. Why they pick Jiang Cheng to sue up, the world will never know.

I mean hey, I enjoy Jiang Cheng for the trash fire he plays next to Lan Wangji as a literary mirror. They make wonderful parallels for each other, and that is one thing that carried over rather well into CQL. I adore the stark contrast of that kind of dynamic in plots. And between these two through Wei Wuxian's eyes it is marvelously built up for him to realize who is actually selfless, devoted and shares his ideals on equal standing and always has.

Wei Wuxian is a deconstruction of the usual anti-hero concept, in the end he was always the selfless hero that did mean well for everything he did and was villainized by political play. There is no twist to it other than him being fairly innocent next to the Jianghu leaders crimes and ignorance. Fanon portrayals love to actually add on to the lies Madam Yu, the Jins and eventually Jiang Cheng started to believe and promote. They say he got off easy while ignoring the plot very much follows the idea of the karmic cycle and how dues are paid through that for Wei Wuxian. He learns sides of Lan Wangji and the other Lans he refused to see in his first life as well as acknowledging the Jiangs themselves were only human, especially Jiang Yanli very easily in his revived life. His acceptance if it all is all very admirable seeing as so many he used to know were filled with bitterness or resentment despite having what they wanted. He is surprisingly humbled after his death and has learned it is okay to not always put up a front, especially when that front was always for the sake of protecting others with his confidence.

[kthstrawberryshortcake]

That Should Be Me - kth drabble

Pairing: Taehyung x Female!Reader, Jin x Female!Reader

Word Count: 3.5k+ Genre: Mostly angst, some fluff Topics: College!AU, Unrequited love Warning: Kinda sad but not TOO sad

No one ever sets out to end up in these sorts of situations, but lo and behold, they do. Are they unbelievably unlucky? Did they commit some unforgivable sin in a past life? Are they just lackluster people? Whatever the explanation, you too found yourself head over heels in love with someone who didn’t love you back. You had been friends since the start of freshman year when a friendly, cheerful boy in one of your classes introduced himself. Ever since then Taehyung had been a huge part of your life. He could make you smile even on what felt like the worst days, and he was one of the most caring people you had ever met. You didn’t realize you were falling until it was much, much too late. No one knew except for your two other closest friends, Jimin and Sara. 

The three of you had been roommates since sophomore year when you decided to live together, despite others’ comments that a guy living with two girls was a bit of a weird situation. It had never felt weird. No, living with them had felt like home right away. You picked each other up when you were down, understood each other better than anyone else, and spent most of your time together, often with some of your other friends as well. Now, in the fall of your senior year, you were much busier than before, but you still made sure to spend time together. Your roommates knew how strongly you felt towards Taehyung and carefully guarded your secret, though Jimin occasionally tried to push you to do something about it. You knew you wouldn’t, though. You were very quiet and shy, as well as a homebody, and confessing was so far outside your comfort zone it was almost comical. So you did nothing, just holding in your feelings, praying they would go away eventually.

Sitting in the floor of Taehyung's dorm room, studying for a class you had in common, it certainly didn’t feel as if you were going to fall out of love any time soon. Sure, it was hard to hang out with him like this when you felt how you did, but you’d rather keep him as a friend than lose him altogether, so you dealt with it. After hours of studying (with several spurts of getting distracted by each other’s silliness and falling into laughing fits), you went to take a break. “Be right back, I’m going to use your bathroom, okay?” You said as you stood, giving him a small smile. He nodded absentmindedly, looking over some of his notes. 

After you’d gone, however, your phone buzzed with new text messages. You’d left it sitting there, he realized, and against his better judgment, he peeked at the screen. It was a text from Sara. “I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. This whole unrequited love BS isn’t for the faint of heart, is it?”, it read, followed by another immediately after. “Btw Jimin’s out right now, you and I can have a movie night when you’re done studying.” Taehyung blinked, carefully sitting the phone back in its place as he processed what he’d read.  You were in love with someone who didn’t feel the same, and Jimin was out? Was it on a date? Wait, you were in love with Jimin! That must be it. He jumped headfirst into the conclusion. He felt bad knowing that his friend was hurting and he hadn’t even noticed. He should really try to be there for you, he thought to himself. 

You returned to the room after that and he gave you a huge grin, which you found a little random. You gave him a questioning look as you sat back down. “You know you’re one of my favorite people, right? I’m just really happy you’re in my life, you’re pretty awesome, you know that?” He said sincerely, and you felt that right in your heart, honestly shocked by his unusual candor. “Thanks, Tae. I’m happy you’re in my life, too.” You replied quietly, smiling despite your confusion, shaking your head before returning to the textbook in front of you. Just for that moment you thought he might not be as far out of reach as you’d always believed.

A couple of weeks later you found yourself totally out of your element at a party your friends had dragged you to. You weren’t much of a party person, in fact you usually avoided them. But you knew Taehyung would be there, plus Sara and Jimin had pestered you into coming with them. You were feeling pretty optimistic as the night began. You looked really nice, if you did say so yourself, and were just the slightest bit hopeful that your feelings weren’t as one sided as you’d believed for so long. You navigated your way through the noisy, crowded house along with Jimin and Sara, who, after all this time, were a newly minted couple, complete with heart eyes for each other and holding hands. You were thrilled, honestly. It had been a long time coming and you were glad they were finally together. 

You scanned the room, hoping to see Taehyung, but as soon as you did, you wished you hadn’t. He was across the room looking as gorgeous as ever, but clinging to his arm was a girl who honestly looked like she could be a model. She was stunning, nearly as tall as he was, slender and with legs for days. You couldn’t help but stare in shock. She was clearly a very outgoing, social person, looking like she was talking constantly and saying hello to almost everyone who passed by, seemingly the social butterfly. And Tae looked happy. You didn’t think you had ever seen him look that happy when he was with you. The fragile hope you’d been carrying was instantly crushed, and it felt as if your heart had been run over by a truck. 

Feeling yourself getting emotional, you quickly fled out the back door. The house was on the edge of a lake and you kept going until you reached the dock before allowing yourself to collapse to your knees, the tears pouring from your eyes against your will. Who had you been kidding? That was the kind of girl he wanted, the kind of girl he deserved. A “hot” girl, a “fun” girl. Not an admittedly cute but short, bookish, shy person who hated large social gatherings. Basically, not you. 

You weren’t sure how long you sat there sobbing, trying to get a hold of your breathing and calm down but failing miserably, before you heard footsteps coming down the hill. You sniffled, hoping it was Sara or Jimin and not someone else. But you were unlucky. 

Taehyung sat down next to you, deep concern etched into his features. “Y/n? What’s wrong?” He asked so sincerely you almost wanted to laugh. When you just shook your head, the tears still coming, he wrapped you in a hug and held you close. “Hey, it’s okay… You’re okay… Tell me what happened.” He said quietly, trying to soothe you. By some miracle you pulled yourself together, calming down even though the tears were still running down your cheeks. You felt like you were going to be sick, pulling away from his hug. “I’m so stupid. I managed to fall in love with someone who’s never going to love me back, and even more foolishly, I thought maybe I had a chance…. Until tonight.” You admitted in a small voice, not making eye contact. 

Taehyung observed you carefully. “He came to the party?” He asked, and you shut your eyes tightly, nodding. “But with somebody else, and it just became so clear it’s never going to happen, and I was dumb to think that it could.” You said in a near-whisper. Taehyung thought over your words. Jimin had showed up with Sara, so clearly in love, and that must be what you were referring to. He really felt for you. He couldn’t imagine how you felt at the moment. “You’re not dumb. There is every reason for someone to love you, you’re wonderful. You’re so kind and so caring, you’re smart, you’re funny… You’re more than good enough for any guy. You’re probably too good for him.” Tae said, and you wanted to just melt into a puddle on the ground and disappear. He had no idea, you thought. 

You sighed deeply, wiping your eyes. “It doesn’t matter. I’m just going to go home. You go enjoy the rest of your night, don’t let me bring down your mood.” You said, forcing a small smile at him. He furrowed his brow in concern. “Do you want me to take you home? Is it a good idea for you to be alone right now?” He asked, trying to be a good friend. You shook your head. “No, no. You should get back to…. oh, I don’t know her name… The girl you came with. Go have fun, don’t worry about me. I’ll go home and go to bed.” Taehyung nodded slowly, accepting your instructions. “Yeah, that’s my girlfriend Kira. You should meet her sometime when you feel better. Get home safe, okay?” He said, patting you on the shoulder before rising to his feet and returning to the party. 

You didn’t want to ruin Jimin and Sara’s first outing as a couple, so you just sent a vague text that you were tired before returning home, burrowing under the covers of your bed as the tears came without stopping. You didn’t sleep much that night. 

Over the next week or so you were even less social than usual, noticeably changed. Your two roommates, now knowing what’d happened, had been taking good care of you and trying to cheer you up a bit. But your other friends and classmates didn’t fail to catch your lack of smiles, how you were even quieter than usual, or how distant you seemed. You couldn’t avoid the class you had with Taehyung, so you just tried to stay extremely focused, ignoring his attempts to start conversation or inquiries about whether you were okay. He definitely noticed how unusual your behavior was, and he sent you texts a couple times a day trying to be supportive or make you feel better. Little did he know that he was only making matters worse. Meanwhile, every time your friends met up for lunch or for game night or anything of that nature, he brought Kira along with him, clearly extremely into her. You weren’t surprised. She had everything you lacked. So over time you stopped going to those gatherings, too. 

Weeks passed and Taehyung was still in his “not leaving you alone in a misguided attempt to be a good friend” routine, refusing to leave you alone no matter how much you pushed him away. He finally showed up at your door one Saturday, smiling and carrying a bag of snacks. “We’re having a movie day, I won’t take no for an answer. You’ve always been there for me when I was down, so I’m going to do the same thing for you. I’m worried about you, you’re so not yourself. So let me cheer you up!” He insisted. The two of you sat down on the couch in the living room, with you trying to breathe deeply as you covered your face, frustrated beyond belief. He babbled on cheerily about how you were a total catch and you shouldn’t be so down on yourself, that everything was going to be totally fine and that he couldn’t let you just retreat into yourself without trying to help. 

Suddenly the pent up feelings bubbled over. “STOP.” You yelled, not looking at him. He was shocked. You were always so soft-spoken, not once had he heard you raise your voice like that. When you finally looked at him, the pain in your eyes was clearly visible to him. “It’s you. I’m in love with YOU. Honestly, I have been for years. I know you have good intentions, but what you’re doing here isn’t helping. I’m trying to get over you but you just won’t let me.” Tears welled up in your eyes, your voice sounding strained. Taehyung was, in short, astounded. Never in a million years would he have anticipated this. “I…. I’m sorry. You’re right, I just don’t feel that way about you. You’re my friend, I don’t…. I’ve never seen you like that.” He said like word vomit. 

You laughed harshly to yourself as a couple tears escaped. “Yeah, because there’s every reason to love me, wasn’t that your phrasing? I’m more than good enough for anybody, you said…. Well, anybody except you, I guess. It’s cruel, really, to hear you say those things knowing the truth of how you feel. You mean well, Tae, and I’m furious that I can’t blame you for this. I can’t blame you for how much this hurts. But you have to stop now. Leave me alone. Stop talking to me, stop sending me motivational texts, don’t even smile at me. Just leave me be, please.” You implored. “Go away so I can learn to let you go.” You said in a whisper, more tears leaking from your eyes. Not sure what else to do and still in shock, Taehyung nodded dumbly, getting up to leave. He paused in the doorway for just a moment, muttering a quiet “I’m sorry” before leaving. And when he was gone you finally broke down again.

He did as you asked, completely cutting off contact and leaving you alone. You did your best to avoid him. He was surprised at how much it hurt every time you avoided eye contact with him or turned to walk in a different direction upon spotting him. He figured it was just the loss of a close friend being painful, so otherwise he continued on as usual. Taehyung spent most of his time with Kira. He found himself bored in most conversations with her, and he found her loud, chatty nature kind of annoying. But everyone said they made the perfect couple, so he must just be feeling this way because of guilt, right? He convinced himself of that, pushing away any thoughts that his relationship wasn’t right. 

Months passed. For a while nobody really saw you aside from Jimin and Sara. If you were shy before, you were antisocial now. If you were a homebody, you were now a recluse. You had all but disappeared from your greater social circle, knowing it was the only way to avoid Taehyung. You focused on your schoolwork. You were visibly sad leading up to winter break, and you knew everyone else was noticing how unlike your usual self you’d been. You were grateful for the reprieve of the break, a chance to live your life for a while without the threat of running into Tae. The time away did you good and you felt like things were finally looking up. 

The glimmer of hope was amplified tenfold when over the break, you met a guy in a bookshop with a radiant smile and a squeaky laugh. Seokjin, as you learned was his name, was a master’s student at your university. You’d struck  up a conversation as he was perusing the cookbooks in the shop you’d met in. He was one of those genuinely nice people who brightened your day without trying. He made you laugh with cheesy jokes and fascinated you with stories of his cooking adventures. 

Before you knew it you were spending most of your time together. You started to feel happy again and for the first time in longer than you could remember, you felt something in your heart other than pain. With him you didn’t feel like you needed to be a “hot girl” or “fun girl”. You didn’t feel like you were missing anything. He thought you were small and cute and loved nothing more than quiet nights in with you, cooking together or watching dramas. You no longer thought about how you wished your legs were longer, or how you wished you were more social, or how you didn’t think you were pretty like other girls. Like the perfect fit of two puzzle pieces, you felt like enough. By the time break was ending you were officially dating. Not that Seokjin wasn’t absolutely lovely, but it wasn’t just him that changed how you saw yourself. The time away from an environment where you saw nothing but flaws had done you good, and as much as he had helped heal you, you’d healed yourself. 

At the start of the new semester, Taehyung caught himself keeping an eye out for you, hoping to see you even from afar. He missed you terribly, if he was honest. To his delight, you had a class in common again. He felt a warmth in his chest when he finally saw you again, settling into a seat in the lecture hall. The light had returned to your eyes. You were smiling again. The relief he felt was immense, having felt awful for hurting you in the first place. 

Without realizing it, he watched you, eventually noticing your focus on the new TA and the looks you were exchanging. It gave him an odd almost nauseous feeling. When the class finally ended, he stopped to read a text before he packed up his things to leave. That’s when he heard you laugh. It occurred to him what a beautiful sound it was and how much he had missed hearing it. Then he looked up. You were standing with the new TA, arms wrapped around each other as you whispered, laughing at something. Taehyung couldn’t remember the last time he saw you smile like that. The TA planted a quick kiss on your forehead before taking your hand, and the two of you walked out of the lecture hall together. Though he couldn’t wrap his head around why, Taehyung felt like he’d been slapped. 

He couldn’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the day, including when he got dinner with Kira that night. “Baaaaaabe! You’re not listening to me!” She whined, pouting. It was true, he had totally zoned out. He was too busy trying to make sense of the overwhelming feelings he was experiencing. It was late that same night that he finally realized what was going on. The realization hit him with both excitement and a sense of horror: he had feelings for you. The horrifying part was how much he’d hurt you, only to discover his feelings after all this time. But you had really loved him, right? The strength and sincerity of your feelings for him had been so apparent. Surely it wasn’t too late.

That’s how he found himself rushing across campus past midnight, hurrying to your apartment, feeling like he was about to burst with all the emotion running through him. He knocked loudly on the door, breathless from the anticipation and his rush to get to you. You were beyond surprised to see him when you opened the door, standing there with messy hair and a blanket wrapped around yourself. You frowned, entirely perplexed at his sudden appearance. “Tae? What are you doing here?” You asked in complete confusion. Taehyung had a big, dumb grin painted on his face. “Y/n, I’m so sorry it took me this long to realize it, I have feelings for you too! I - I think I love you too.” 

You could hear the excitement in his voice. Your confused face morphed into an annoyed frown. “You smug bastard. After all this time now that I’m finally happy you want to bust back in here and drop a confession?! Are you joking?!” Your voice was growing shrill with anger. The blanket you were wrapped in dropped to the floor, forgotten as you angrily gestured at him. “I honestly can’t believe you’re actually this selfish. You don’t get to treat me like I’m disposable, like some toy you can pick up or toss away whenever you get bored.” This was the second time ever he’d heard your voice raised in a near-yell. 

He heard footsteps as he stared at you, finally taking in your appearance. You were dressed in a men’s tee shirt that was much too big for you and a pair of shorts. It was impossible to miss the dark marks on your neck. A taller figure approached from behind you, placing a hand on your shoulder. It was the TA, also messy-haired in a sweatshirt and sweatpants. You turned to look at him and your angry face transformed instantly into a soft, affectionate smile. “Everything okay?” He asked you, and you nodded. “Everything’s fine, Jinnie. Taehyung was just leaving.” You turned back to Taehyung and in an instant your gaze was like ice. 

The pain in his chest and the hollowness he felt was suffocating. Was this how you’d felt for so long whenever you were with him? Tears were welling up in his eyes, but he just nodded and turned away, leaving as you shut the door. He’d been a fool, and he was far too late, he realized, thinking he may have made the biggest mistake of his life. The smiles that had been reserved for him alone for years now belonged to someone else. And though he knew it was selfish, he couldn’t help but be bitter that you had moved on. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay that one hurt a little bit, huh? A tad angstier than what I normally write. Still, I hope you enjoyed it! I love feedback so please do leave some. <3

[oceanivoxjoquainx]

Let's talk about Eric Effiong

Let's be honest Eric's storyline and characterization is one of the most appealing out of all the characters in Sex Education periodt. A true gay, fierce, Drag QUEEN and I feel like ranting about this amazing force of nature. (Spoilers. Duh.)

When I saw the trailer for Sex Education it didnt even hit me that Eric was gay until I read the synopsis. Was just like "Oh I wonder which one of these three mains are the gay one people keep talking about" even after I saw him in drag like a dumbass 😣😂. Personally im glad we've reached a point where gay guys aren't overly feminine and even the brightest colours won't differ a character from the rest (unless I'm just a blind bish and he was obviously gay from the trailer) ei 👏🏾 ther 👏🏾 way; his character was refreshing when I started watching the show. I immediately clicked with him and knew what every look he gave or hand gesture he did meant. Felt nice. When Adam pushed him into the locker for the first time and started with the heterohomoerotic bs I knew that Adam had a raging boner for Eric and was another internalized homophobic bully™ and wasn't really excited for what was to come but I knew it was coming and tbh I liked it in the end.

Eric and Otis' friendship is so pure. Like?!? Get me a straight supportive bestie lilke Otis? Ik they fought but even then Otis was respectful and kept his boundaries and let Eric go through the motions before immediately belting into an apology at the first chance he got. Their dancing scene?!? Iconic. The fact that Eric sees Otis' house as safe and another home?!? Iconic. Otis going drag with Eric to watch an LGBT+ movie as a TRADITION (meaning they've done it numerous times)?!?! Iconic. The fact that Otis was straight up ditching Eric and Eric STILL tolerated him and let him do his thing without too much pressure!?! The most iconic of them all. Just pure love and respect all around.

I am so proud of Erics growth over the course of the season starting from a naive and scared gay doormat to facing homophia and getting beat up by those assholes on his birthday no less to losing his best friend and becoming depressed to channeling that anger into defending himself when people tried him to getting his sparkle back and coming back more fierce that ever before.

Speaking of him getting his sparkle back lets talk about that and why that scene is so important. A random guy asked Eric for directions and Eric noticed his nails were polished and the guy was wearing earrings and he was a big ole black dude. He was like Eric. When Eric noticed that the guy was out, loud, glamorous and proud he immediately switched back into the bright colourful and wonderfully gay Eric we all know and love.

THIS IS WHY REPRESENTATION MATTERS!!!!

It shows people that its okay to be who they actually are and inspires those who are lost to find or return to their true selves. Representation isn't just some offhand thing to throw on a character last minute. And even if you can relate to other characters who arent like you, it is always an amazing feeling to have a character that IS like you. It turned Eric from a popularity seeking doormat into a hurricane with 6 inch heels who was ready to straight up beat down a bully he's had for 4 years. It even inspired him to go back to church and rejoin a community that he closed off. That's exactly how it feels to have someone successful in the media and your life to look up to. Eric only interacted with that man for a few minutes but those few minutes changed his life for the better. So that's a lovely reminder for all who love to bash representation.

Back tracking to Eric's dull colourless period after the attack and his fight with Otis. It was saddening to see one of the brightest characters go dull and even the school felt it. He turned from a guy who rarely stood up for himself and what he wanted into the sass master he reserved only for his friends. All of his built up anger was released causing him to explode on Mr Hendricks (who is adorable tbh and just trying to do his best) and Anwar (I was proud of that punch you go glenn co co) and he even sounded off on his dad who he's usually passive aggressive to at worst. Just goes to show that the happiest faces can harbor the biggest pains and can snap. Moral of the story? Protect the happy few.

Eric also has a great family. Like that obviously know Erics gay and wears dresses because its all right there in his room which his parents enter at their leisure and while it seems that they're a bit homophobic its revealed that they (Erics dad at least) just wants Eric to be safe as he's already a target for being black and apart of an immigant family. He accepts Eric for who he is and what he does he just doesnt want anyone else to give him shit for it and if that's not one of the sweetest things in this world idek what is. Eric and his dad was probably one of my favorite dynamics in the show and watching his dad slowly fully accept that his son was strong and able to stand for himself he was able to become stronger too. This dynamic is important because I never see any gay black characters have a close relationship with their fathers and it was very heartwarming to watch.

Now onto Erics love life. He has a crush on the highschools other only gay guy Anwar who's the typical mean sassy gay we've all come to expect in highschool dramas. Otis saying that Eric doesnt have to have a crush on the only other openly gay guy at school was such a mood as its commonly shown that any gays in close proximity should get together. When Eric punched him I internally went "Finally!" Because all those jeers were becoming annoying. I'm glad Anwar got to come out to his mum over it though. And straight up told the audience that Eric didn't like feminine guys (alluding to him and Adams eventual clean up scene as of we didn't see it coming already).

Moving on to Adam tho, like I said we all been knew that this

was indeed coming and even though I hate the bully x bullied trope I still ended up liking it and hoping that Adam would change. The building up to that kiss was long awaited from episode 1 straight through to 8 with all the longing looks that Adam kept side glancing Eric with and the face cupping and the growls and the lingering touches. I just kept going sthdjksksbslaldbd when one of those moments happened followed shortly after with disgust because gays falling for their abuser is washed up but then immediately going back to jajaklamabsldkd because im shipping trash so 🤷🏿. Eric stepping to Adam in at the ball was one of the most iconic scenes of the show (along with the "Its My Vagina" scene) and the exchange between him and Adam gave be actual chills. The tension was THICCCC. Erics OUTFIT to the ball gave me chills 😭😭 dude came to slay and had everyone at that school proper shook and I honestly could NOT be more proud. I was hoping Adam would become a better person over the course of the season but nope so hopefully they cover all the issues that Adam has in season 2 and properly give him a redeption arc cuz he's still a trashy pos he's just a disaster bi on top of it. (Adam immediately going to suck Eric off is confidence I can only dream of achieving 💀💀) The lab scene was also cute but made me mad because how could Adam look scared, confident and still be a douchebag all in the span of a few seconds was beyond me. A+ acting on Connor Swindells part. I can see why Adam would have to stay in the closet and keep their... relationship?? a secret because it seems like Headmaster Groff would be a homophobic piece of shit and would add to the ever growing list of things Adam did wrong. Even so it doesn't excuse the fact that Adam is in fact a bully and Eric deserves much better. Was sad seeing Adam being driven off from Eric in the end tho. Eric thought that Adam didn't want to see him at all and was probably heartbroken and probably thinks Adam left because of him (my poor baby 😭😭). I feel bad for Adam too because he was just starting to express himself and was at the beginning of a redemption arc when he was just wisked away from the boy he's loved for what seems to be a very long time. I just want my boys to be happy and non toxic and I wish their relationship and them all the best in Season 2.

Eric Effiong is my favorite character in the show and I really want to thank Ncuti Gatwa for portraying him so well and for the shows writers who gave him a very fleshed out character with an amazing storyline and conclusion. His growth was incredible and his strength is immeasurable. I'm 100% certain that he will be a character the community remembers for years to come. Patiently now waiting on what's to come in Season 2 💙🙌🏾.

[travllingbunny]

The 100 6x13 The Blood of Sanctum

This was a rather underwhelming finale to what was probably my favorite season of The 100. That doesn’t mean it was really bad or that it ruined the season for me; no, it was just something that felt more like a midseason finale than an epic conclusion. This may be because the writers were already sure that they were getting season 7 – and may have already planned it as the last, which made season 6 something like the first part of one big, 29 episodes season, aka “Book Two”.

Out of all the storylines, only SheidMadi got resolved – as did the two-season story of Madi as the Commander, which is not history, together, apparently, with the Flame. I admit that I really did not expect the show to finally do away with this long-standing plot device. On the other hand, not only is Sheidheda still a villain who is going to cause trouble in season 7, but the main plot with the Primes and bodysnatching has not been fully concluded – because Russell Lightbourne is still alive, several of the mind drives are still in function, and there are still a lot of “devout” Prime-worshippers in Sanctum. Out of all the storylines, that was the one I expected to be fully over.

The best parts of the episode – the strongest emotional moments – all involved Clarke.  Even though Clarke suffering and losing people she loves has been done to death, the show can always count on Eliza Taylor to deliver those big emotional moments. The only problem with her scenes is that they were somewhat predictable – especially since the promo department saw fit to spoil the emotional climax in promo videos and pictures. Still, the scenes where Clarke is tempted to give in to the desire to believe that her mother is still alive, but then stays strong and smart and floats Simone in her mother’s body alongside most of the other Primes; and the climax with her confronting Madi, are really good. Sure, it’s the “Power of Love” trope, but the show knows how to do that trope well, and I liked it. It fit with the show’s themes, including the old “Love is a weakness” theme. Sheidheda was the one to repeat that mantra, but it was something we first heard from Lexa (who eventually changed her mind about it), later learned was actually a part of her Flamekeeper Titus’ teaching, and eventually learned (in season 5) that it was also a part of Gaia’s teaching to Octavia, as something that Flamekeepers generally teach Commanders. Here, Sheidheda said that Lexa told him Clarke was strong (he would have first known about Clarke through Lexa, years before Madi took the Flame), but, according to Sheidheda, Lexa was weak because of her love for Clarke, and Clarke now proved she was weak because of her love for Madi… But then Clarke proved that Love is strength by risking her life and using her love for Madi and Madi’s love for her to bring her daughter back, when she seemed fully possessed by Sheidheda.

This season was full of parallels to season 2 – which was for the long time my favorite – as a redoing, in a better way, of what happened; and the reunion scene between Clarke and Bellamy was a beautiful one with parallels and contrasts to their goodbye scene in the season 2 finale. The song and the softness and tenderness of the scene were similar to the Bellarke season 2 goodbye, and the dialogue recalled both that scene, and Clarke’s conversation with her mother, when she said “I tried to be the good guy” and got the reply “Maybe there are no good guys”. But that mindset was very damaging, to Clarke, to Abby and to everyone. And here, Clarke says she tried to do better (which irked me somewhat, because she has to know she did do the right thing – it would be absurd to think that killing Primes in self-defense is somehow wrong, or that she was in any way responsible for the mayhem Russell caused, because he’s the worst) and Bellamy assures her she did, they did. What makes more sense is that Clarke is wondering if doing better was worth it, since she lost her mother. It is the opposite of the season 2 finale, when she saved everyone she loved, but lost a part of her soul and all of her moral certainty in the process. (Even though, in the circumstances in that season finale, when the choice was between killing all the Mountain Men or letting them win and horribly murder Clarke and Bellamy and everyone they loved – Abby, Octavia, all their friends – the former was the right choice, and anyone who disagrees has to explain how lying down and saying “yes, kill us all, you superior Mount Weather people” was a better choice.) But this time, Clarke accepted Bellamy’s comforting words and hug, and is staying with her people instead of isolating herself.

But the relationship issues with Bellamy and Clarke and Echo, respectively, were put on hold– which was obviously a deliberate decision by the writers to not resolve them before the last season, and the way it has been made to work is by making the last few episodes so full of action that characters didn’t have the time to sit and talk about their feelings and relationships (especially Bellamy and Echo, who haven’t had an on-screen one-on-one scene since 6x04, and weren’t even in the position to have one since 6x08). Many of the character arcs feel like they just reached the halfway point.

The weakest part of the episode was the battle for Sanctum. Aside from some funny moments involving Murphy and a confirmation that Octavia has changed and that she and Bellamy have repaired their relationship, most of it was just action - and I’m someone who gets bored with action scenes if they don’t involve meaningful character moments and/or real stakes, which was missing. The show also missed the chance to portray the changing society of Sanctum, and the revolution/civil war that started in 6x12, in an interesting way. Instead, we just got beaten over the head with how brainwashed the “devout” Sanctumites are, which took quite a bit of screentime. It was hard to care when none of these people were characters we had met before, and were hard to relate to. What happened to the rebels who shouted “Death to Primes”? Did they just lose the battle off-screen and got captured? What happened to Delilah’s parents – the only Sanctum residents we had already gotten to know that are still alive? The show has done much more to humanize  Russell freaking Lightbourne and the Primes, which is not a bad thing in itself, than it ever did to humanize the ordinary residents of Sanctum, who remain a nebulous crowd with few individual characteristics (ironically, similar to how the Primes treat them), which just serves as the motivation for our heroes to spare/help so they would do better.

Seeing Jordan brainwashed does help somewhat understand that the people of Sanctum are not stupid and sympathize with them: if he can be so brainwashed after a few days, what chance did the Sanctumites have? They had that happen to them for years. Jordan’s new mindset after literally drinking the Kool Aid is scary and promises big problems for season 7. Remember when they said Priya was overseeing his recovery? The Primes are always proving even more evil than you thought. She and the “adjustor” seem to have somehow managed to make him transfer his feelings for Delilah to Priya – to the point that he carries a mind drive (probably Priya’s), and to make him believe in their BS mantra that their world was happy and peaceful before Earth people came (which cannot be further from the truth), when he was the first to call the Primes murderers when he discovered the truth about them in 6x05.

The mystery of the Anomaly, of course, has been established as the main plot of season 7 (no surprise there), and while I expected a Diyoza to come out of the Anomaly (I expected a younger Charmaine, but at least one person on Twitter guessed it would be her daughter Hope), the final twist with Octavia disappearing into the Anomaly did come as a surprise. But that part of the episode felt somewhat disconnected from the rest.

Other thoughts:

Indra’s story about Sheidheda’s rule of fear was a little weird – because I don’t really see how exactly his actions were that different than those that were expected from any Commander. Apparently, he butchered everyone who refused to submit to his rule. But isn’t that what Commanders generally do? We learned back in season 2 that Grounders have a strictly hierarchical society and are expected to obey their leaders. When Lincoln showed disobedience and went against an order of his Commander (going back to help Octavia in Mount Weather against Lexa’s orders), Lexa issued a kill order on him. Blood must have blood, Love is weakness – these are mantras taught to Commanders (or at least the recent ones) by their Flamekeepers. Sheidheda’s actions may have been more extreme in scale and harshness, but at the core, he was following the exact same rules he was taught. Giving anyone, especially a child, absolute power, doesn’t tend to end well.

One of the few characters who got a rounded character arc in season 6 is Gaia, who ended up choosing saving Madi over saving the Flame. Yes, it was also about destroying Sheidheda, but it was a big thing for her to decide to destroy the thing to whose worship she had dedicated her life, for the common good, to protect people and to save the life of a real, living child. But she will have an identity crisis next season and will have to decide what her life is now.

The hug between Clarke and Raven was nice but…semi-satisfactory to see: they have made up, and Raven has done better in the last few episodes, and made amends to Clarke, in a way, by saving Madi, just as Clarke did better by caring about the common good and saving everyone, again (something she had lost in season 5) rather than just people close to her.

But Raven really needs a good storyline again and a better characterization. In season 6, she was a side character who was there just to support other people’s stories. Even Gaia’s: in order for the decision whether to kill the Flame to belong to Gaia, the show had Raven ask Gaia what to do with the Flame – which was quite mind-boggling. Since when does Raven care about the Grounder religion, to the point of giving the decision to a Flamekeeper? Especially when a child’s life and everyone’s being is at stake?

Speaking about sacrificing one character’s characterization to give a cool moment/uplift another, I didn’t enjoy the way that it seemed like Octavia is now the most morally developed and Bellamy just followed her lead when she decided to help Gabriel save the people of Sanctum. As if Bellamy didn’t always care about saving people who weren’t necessarily “his people” – e.g. saving the slaves in 4x02, his insistence in season 2 that they spare the children and innocent people in Mount Weather, trying to stop Finn from killing a Grounder prisoner in season 2, trying not to get Children of Gabriel unnecessarily killed in 6x03 – when they were seen as enemies…

Layla, one of the very few non-Prime new characters we got to know, got murdered by a devout nutcase, and her death scene was spoiled in a promo… But I wasn’t even sure she was injured when I saw the promo, because the scene must be the least unconvincing killing scene ever. That little surface scratch with a knife looked like it can’t do more than just leave a little mark on her neck, for a while.

Emori and Murphy were fun to watch in their glamorous new clothes and makeup and with their ‘god” personas.

Even though he made the choice to help his friends, Murphy still wants immortality. And he is not concerned with the well-being of people he doesn’t know, which is in character for him. We’ll see if any of that comes into play in early season 7.

Does it count as Bury Your Gays when a show reveals an already dead character as gay (or possibly bisexual)? I remember that this was brought up when Lost did it with a dead recurring character in a flashback. Here it was a character we saw for just a few seconds in 6x02, who didn’t get any characterization, and has been dead for 12 episodes, and super-definitely-dead for 8 (one of the Primes, Daniel Lee).

Are Bellamy and Echo still together? Who knows. Are they still kind of technically an item just because they haven’t had any time or chance to interact in private, which would be necessary for a breakup? If they are together, why are they acting more platonic than Bellamy and Clarke? It would have been easy for the show to confirm they were still a couple: it would be obvious if they had kissed during their reunion – as Miller and Jackson did in this episode, or if they kissed at some other point (as Murphy and Emori do all the time) or had other gestures of intimacy other than the reunion bro-hug in 6x12, with Bellamy patting Echo on the back the same way he did his sister a couple of episodes back. At this point, Becho is the Schroedinger’s Ship.

Rating: 6.5/10

[miranema]

When you are still talking about a show you are too old for..

warning: it’s loooong (TL;DR section at the bottom)

Just to be clear I have no intention to look into and review any more Winx Club related content and it’s not just because the current environment is not conducive to this kind of endeavor. After I finished paying off my debts I considered getting back to this but eventually decided against it because some of my thoughts regarding this show have changed a little and I overall no longer see the point. One of the things I wanted to accomplish when I first started was to figure out why this show never appealed to me when it first came out on the FoxBox and well, the answer was very simple if not ridiculously obvious. This show was not made for me.

I was a few months short of 13 when the show premiered in the US and had just enough experience in the genre to have expectations, and this was the problem. When western magical girl series started to show up in the early 2000s, I expected shows that improved upon the standards and cliches left by the likes of Sailor Moon and its genre contemporaries, not just in terms of visuals but writing as well. Winx Club however, seemed more in line with the type of cartoons that (since the 80s) popped up every now and then as promotional material for emerging lines of fashion dolls generally targeting younger girls, with the only difference being that it had a progressive story-line. Even if you argue that Winx Club was not so merchandise-driven in its first seasons, contemporary fashion and aesthetics had always been the selling point. By then, shows that prioritized visual appeal over writing and seemed to exists primarily as toy commercials, were starting to lose my interest. I was also getting tired of certain staples like romantic relationships being bland but senselessly overemphasized and characters (specially protagonists) being archetypes with little to no complexity.  

As an adult, I since looked back at shows of similar quality/target audience and I have surprisingly been able to find joy within them leading me to another conclusion. It’s not that I am too old and weary to appreciate animated media aimed at young girls. It’s more likely that Winx Club is a sore spot for me because it is the show that made me realize (if subconsciously) that networks in charge of delivering animated media to mainstream television were no longer invested in appealing to me. As a non-white, lower-middle class girl who was never all that into relationship-melodrama I felt that most cartoons of my day didn’t really catered to my interest and I think I saw the rise of Winx Club as a bitter indication that even the animated genres that I liked or tolerated would eventually become completely inaccessible to me.

I had some trouble finding out what the target audience bracket was for the first season. From what I eventually gathered it is either 4-8 or 5-10, although apparently concept-wise the show was intended for a slightly older age group. I give more credence to the first bracket because honestly I think this show works best as baby’s first magical girl series. The less experience you have in the genre, the less fed-up with tropes and the less expectations you have going in, the better.

Lets just make a thing clear. There is no such thing as being too old to watch cartoons. An art medium is not inherently tied to an age group. Unfortunately, everything is at the mercy of capitalism, specially art produced for entertainment. There is a lot of stupidity and outdated ideas governing how mainstream shows are made and to whom they are made for. Industries don’t like to take chances and they are reluctant to change in accordance to society unless an increased in profits can be assured to some degree…

Look, look! I swear I was just going to post a simple paragraph-long note to whoever cared, stating I was not going to continue reviewing Winx Club even though I am no longer in debt. But, I made the HUGE mistake of looking at the Wikipedia page, specifically the part where they quoted show creator Iginio Straffi defending the controversial choices made for season 8, and here I am, annoyed and rambling. To paraphrase, he claims kids around 10 years and older just don’t watch cartoons as much as they used to (sure, Jan) and they just had to retooled their show for a younger demographic and that just means it cannot be as complex as it used to be. Yes, complex is a word he ascribed to the earlier Winx Club content (level of complexity to be clear). I rolled my eyes, I died a little inside and overall I also decided, among other things, to never read another Iginio Straffi interview ever again.

In an effort to wash away this BS and exorcise some demons let me throw here some of my still lingering unwarranted Winx Club thoughts in no particular sequence before this platform collapses any further:

Winx Club is one of if not the longest running western magical girl group series and its success is likely attributed to the fact that back when it premiered in the US, it was the only accessible and visually appealing series to come out of the genre since the beginning of the millennium. It practically had a monopoly of its intended audience. In my neck of the woods, it was available without the need of a cable/satellite subscription. In contrast, Dinsey-owned W.I.T.C.H. didn’t have that same accessibility and I don’t think I even need to bring up anime in general. The one other magical girl show from around the same time that I remembered coming across in syndicated broadcast was Trollz, and well you look that up and tell me how much staying power that looked like it had.

If the show has struggled in recent years is of course NOT because older kids don’t watch cartoons nowadays. Rather I think the show runners are not quite grasping how the circumstances surrounding their target audience have changed since the early 2000s. There are a lot more options out there in terms of entertainment even if you narrow things down to only western magical girl cartoons, not to mention that Winx club no longer has an edge on accessibility. I also think we consume media faster and that along with all the new options of entertainment means we have less head space to dedicate to one single show. Putting a new coat of paint to the newer seasons is simply not enough to remain relevant.

Adding to the above, It’s been well over ten years since the show first premiered. I don’t have data to prove this, but I am willing to bet that a sizable chunk of viewers were there from the beginning or joined at the start of the Nickelodeon era. It makes little sense for changes in writing to include hacking its continuity, rewriting established lore and deleting whatever meager character development they ever had. Maybe it’s not a good idea to turn your show with progressive storytelling including aging characters, into a cash cow you intend to milk for as long as you can and beyond. Maybe they should have given the early seasons a proper conclusion and laid the groundwork for new groups of characters to lead fresh series within the same universe...or you know, a full reboot.

I am not saying that the show should suddenly conform to my tastes (though that would be nice) after all it was not made for me. I just think that people that stuck with it deserve more than what they have been getting. I saw some positive feedback with regards to World of Winx but from what little I saw I don’t think it was good enough to be the series for older fans. Tone might be slightly different but writing-wise it feels more or less the same as the current series. The attempts at humor are still not landing for me at least. Also, how old does Straffi thinks the older fans are? 10? Who knows, maybe season 8 did its job in drawing-in the next gen, and maybe the planned live action series will be all that the older fans have been asking for. I do wish them the best.

Regarding things that I changed my mind about (though only a little bit)...In more than one occasion I referred to Bloom as a mary sue and this has been digging at me. Either the term has become toxic and too often unfairly assigned to any female character in a leading position, or it was always an improper way to discuss mediocre writing. There are main characters that are created in part to serve as vehicles of indulgence for its intended audience. I don’t think these these type of characters need to be complex to be successful or serviceable but I do think relatability and/or likability are indicators of whether or not a specific indulgent protagonist is effective. I didn’t find Bloom to be effective but she seems to be popular enough with the younger range of fans and that’s what matters. All I am saying is that Bloom could have easily been better and all it would have taken was for the writers to slightly lower the pedestal they put her on. Otherwise, they should have just stuck with the Magical Bloom title so no one would have delusions that the show would ever focus on anyone else.

I stand by most of my other major criticisms of the series. Though I admit that when I was looking at each episode I would spend an unreasonable amount of time on small things or personal pet peeves.I maintain however that to whom a show is intended for should not be a determinant of quality and there are things worth discussing even if one is not within the age-range of said audience. However, it’s not hard to tell what Winx Club is mostly about; it’s romance-centered. If you are not all that invested on that sort of stuff or you don’t like what the show is offering, then there is little point in sticking around because you are just going to get more and more caught-up on the flaws. The fantasy world elements while ambitious in scope are not well developed and consistency is an issue since the beginning that only gets worse as the series goes on. Unless you can subsist solely on the aesthetics and merch-friendly elements, I wouldn’t bother beyond the first movie.

If Winx Club had been the definitive blue print shaping the future of western magical girls shows, I would probably feel justified in making this much of a fuss. However, pretty much any other show I have seen after the fact has been a deviation and an improvement. I believe that’s because more content creators that grew up with the genre (and understood the many ways it could be improved) are finding opportunities to bring their appreciation for it into the mainstream. It’s pointless for me to still complain about the older stuff. Heck, I can even find good things to say about Angel’s Friends and this is definitely a cartoon that was shaped by the success of the fairy school show. 

Winx Club is fine, it has as much right to exist as any other piece of mindless entertainment aimed at any demographic.  And that’s that.

TL;DR

I am not reviewing Winx Club stuff anymore. I just had a lot of thoughts that were brought up by an annoying Iginio Straffi quote I saw on the Wiki page while I was working on that last post. Extended rambling is what I apparently do when I am mildly upset. I barfed all this out in the hopes that I won’t think about this show again anytime soon.

 If morbid curiosity gets the better of me, I might give future Winx Club content a watch. I just won’t post about it because it seems I am incapable of finding joy in it.

No, I don’t take criticisms of the bad spelling/grammar of my ramblings. Let this mess be. This is also not a place for debate, the only discourse I welcome here is whether or not relatability is a word. Online dictionaries say it’s fine but my word processor says it is not a thing. Discuss! (JK)

Stay safe,

[michael-langdon-appreciation]

I love the pain. Bring it on. Eventually there’ll be fluff so I’m not worried -MC

You all asked for the angst. I’m sorry…

Also line breaks signal a change in POV! 

Here’s Part 3 of the Runaway Saga 🙈

The fire crackles in the hearth, little snaps punctuating the still air. 

You’ve been sat there for the best part of an hour, waiting for him to say something. Anything. The blanket pools around your shoulders as Michael trudges by and dumps himself in the armchair. You can’t help but feel responsible, a sting of guilt running through your body. You were pretty much clueless, but that doesn’t stop Michael from throwing you the occasional sour glare. His hands are clasped together as if he’s praying to his father for strength. Michael Langdon gives off the air of a man on the brink, lost and dazed from recent events. 

You pick yourself up from the sofa and kneel before him, close enough to rest your hand over his, ‘I didn’t know.’ You’ve repeated it so often over the past few days, but Michael still flinches every time you bring it up. ‘I had no idea Jim wanted to take me away from you.’ 

His golden hair falls limply down over his shoulders, ‘I know. You don’t have to keep saying it.’ 

Your phone lights up, resting on the sofa. Michael’s palm opens and your phone flies into his palm before you can stop him. 

He checks the Caller ID - Jim.

The phone goes flying, smashing against the wall, ‘Michael!’

He scowls darkly at the cracked screen, ‘I despise liars, Y/N.’ You retrieve your phone, still vibrating but you can’t unlock it and you don’t try. Michael heads to the balcony, his hand clench the railings tight. ‘At least Jim was right about one thing,’ He mutters. ‘This place is pretty much hell.’

You join Michael outside, the view mostly tiled ceilings and the blue sky. You both can hear the waves smashing against the shore even though you can’t see them. The cold seeps into your bare feet, but you ignore it and wrap your arms around Michael’s back. ‘I know you want time,’ You begin carefully, pressing your lips to Michael’s neck. ‘But ignoring them will only make things worse. They aren’t going to stop trying to reach us and soon one will show up here.’ 

You await his reply, knowing that you have to be patient with Michael. It takes so much for him to reveal himself, the insecure boy that hides underneath his impressive figure. You occasionally kiss that little spot, watching the shudders roll up Michael’s spine. It’s a sensitive area, one that usually has his mouth running, ‘I entertained the idea.’ Michael admits, ‘After Jim took you, I thought about being selfish. What I’d do if it was just us, when the world is dead and I decide how things are. But-’

‘But we are a team.’ You finish, ‘A unit that loves each other.’ He doesn’t answer and a sliver of fear runs through you, ‘Michael?’

‘I thought so.’ 

‘They love you.’ You reaffirm, ‘Jim and Duncan, they’re just being stupid-’

‘Maybe.’ 

‘Do you know something I don’t?’ You ask, ‘Have you heard something?’ 

Michael turns round. His arms slide up your arms, Michael just taking you in. You meet his blue gaze and then your eyes flicker down to the tremble of his hips. Michael brings your head to his chest, his large hand cupping the back of your head, ‘They love you.’ He throws my words back at me, ‘They love you more than me.’

‘That’s not true.’ You say at once, your voice a little muffled. ‘Duncan-’ 

‘Duncan was mine.’ Michael cuts over you, ‘Before you came along, before Jim there was the two of us. I brought him out of a very dark place and he was mouldable and did whatever I asked. We fell for each other with ease, things were good.’ Michael swallows, ‘I was the one who wanted more.’ He’s fighting back tears now, ‘I pushed Duncan to try with you and now I’ve lost him.’ 

His words have a salt sting to them and you find yourself backing out of his arms, ‘Are you saying, I stole Duncan from you?’

‘That apartment isn’t for me.’ Michael’s conviction is strong, ‘If it was, he’d have done it years ago.’

‘You’re blaming me?’ The hurt is evident in your voice, ‘I didn’t ask Duncan to do anything.’

‘Just like you didn’t ask Jim to steal you away either.’ Michael’s voice rises, ‘But where did it leave me, Y/N? Do you ever think about anyone but yourself?’

You swallow back your fury, ‘Do you think I am here for the good of my health?’ You question, ‘Do you think I’d be sat here like a hermit for the past however many days if I wasn’t for you? No I am here Michael, because you couldn’t face the other two. Because instead of confronting them and hearing what they have to say you’d rather smash my phone and hide away like a child.’

‘I AM NOT A CHILD.’ Michael thunders, ‘HOW DARE YOU?’

‘I will not sit by and let you blame me for what has happened.’ You’re not going to be intimidated by the Antichrist, ‘Grow the fuck up.’ 

You shove past him, but Michael catches your arm, ‘Wait, Y/N. I’m sorry.’ 

Your eyes fall onto Michael’s hand, bare and almost foreign without the accompaniment of his usual rings. When you catch his eyes the tears have finally fallen, ‘I don’t know what to do.’ He confesses, ‘I thought they loved me.’ 

‘You’re jumping to conclusions.’ You try and reason with him again, ‘You don’t know that they’re feelings have changed till you speak with them.’ 

‘Do you love me?’

Michael has always been there for you, more than any of the others. He’s the one to make your problems go away, the one stay up with late at night, sharing secrets with your heads next to each other. He’s your safety and you’re his lifeline, the calm one who knows just what to say to calm him. 

You can’t let him go.

‘Yes.’ 

He sweeps you back in, cradling your head close. ‘I’m so sorry.’ He kisses you deeply, ‘I can’t lose you too. I don’t want to.’

You put enough space between your lips to speak, ‘But you have to speak to them.’ You order, ‘If you can’t then I don’t think this can keep going on.’

Yes, Duncan’s staying with Jim, only because he can keep tabs on the nasty little manipulator. 

Jim tosses his phone across the breakfast bar, ‘She still isn’t answering. Neither’s Michael.’

‘I don’t blame her.’ Duncan says, ‘Not after what you pulled at the beach.’

Jim scowls right back, ‘You’re just mad that I got there before you. Trying to steal Y/N away from us, sequestering her away in New York? Did you think none of us would find out?’

‘I didn’t buy that fucking place for Y/N.’ Duncan snarls, abandoning his croissant. He bites his lip, but Duncan can’t take back the words that just spilled from his lips. 

‘You think I’m buying that BS?’ 

‘It’s the truth.’ He’s fucked it already, he may as well as come clean. 

Jim’s mouth opens to retort, but it snaps shut as he thinks things over, ‘You bought an apartment for who then?’

Duncan can’t look at him, not at the boy before him, the one who looks so murderous. How he misses the fondness that Jim used to hold in his eyes for him, that spark of green amongst the blue. 

‘For Michael?’ Jim guesses.

‘No.’

‘I dunno then, for your own personal escape from us?’

‘For you, Jim.’

It takes Jim a minute to comprehend, ‘What?’

‘You can be so fucking dumb at times.’ But Duncan doesn’t mean it, he never means it when he shouts at Jim. But Jim has made things so difficult lately. It broke his fucking heart to find him gone with Y/N, that he couldn’t get there first and swipe his Beach Boy away. ‘You had to make everything so difficult.’ The word vomit is spilling forth again, ‘You thought it was for Y/N and you flipped. I get that, but it was for you. I wanted to take you away, to meet my parents.’ Duncan takes in a deep breath, levelling Jim with his gaze. ‘I wanted you to be my boyfriend Jim, exclusively.’

He drops his eyes and picks up his plate. Duncan dumps his half-eaten croissant in the trash and starts washing the plate for something to do. Jim is horribly, eerily quiet still by the breakfast bar. He checks his phone but there’s still nothing, Jim’s a creature of habit just like Duncan whose own hand fishes out his phone and checks the time, scrolls through his Twitter. Anything is better than the silence between them.

‘Dunc,’ Jim begins. ‘I had no idea.’

‘I know,’ Duncan keeps his eyes glued to his phone.

Jim slides off his seat and walks over to him. He confiscates Duncan’s phone and the Mogul lets him, finally peeking at Jim’s face to get a read of what he’s thinking. Jim looks devastated, his forehead creased as he takes Duncan’s hand in his and holds it to his chest. Duncan knows it’s not good news. 

He always did.

‘You know that for me it’s Y/N.’ Jim says, so quietly Duncan almost misses it. ‘It’s always been Y/N.’

‘I know.’ He repeats, the words robotic and not his own anymore. 

Jim kisses the top of Duncan’s hand, ‘I’m so sorry, Duncan. The foursome thing, it’s great and I would still go for it now and then because, well damn. It’s fucking amazing.’ He’s trying to reach him, to make Duncan laugh but his heart is being yanked in two and all Duncan can do is turn away, looking out at the beach of Palos Verdes from the open window. Jim’s hand is on his shoulder, ‘But I meant what I said about it not being enough. I can’t keep going on the way we are.’

‘Do you think she would be with you?’

It’s a loaded question, an unfair one. 

Jim swallows, Duncan hears the sound. ‘I hope that after the couple of days we’ve had, yes.’

‘Even though you lied to her?’

‘Well I haven’t been the only one have I?’

Duncan shoves himself away, he can’t hear the derision that is definitely there in Jim’s voice. ‘Fuck you,’ He spits, heading to the bedroom.

Jim gives chase, ‘Duncan I didn’t mean. I just meant that we need to talk things through, it’s all become so messy.’

‘No we could have been okay.’ Duncan says, still marching. ‘If you had just waited I could have asked you and that would have been it. We could have carried on or faced it, but Michael hates us both and Y/N’s with him doing God knows what.’ He grabs the door, ready to shut it but Jim sticks his foot in the way.

‘What was I meant to think?’ He asks, ‘Duncan, I don’t want things to end this way.’

‘Well it has to.’

‘It doesn’t.’ Jim reaches to stroke his face, to touch his stubble but Duncan pushes him back out of the way of the door.

‘Look you just didn’t think, Jim.’ Duncan says, ‘I know that but I also need to have time to cope with this.’

Jim frowns, ‘What are you saying?’

‘I’m saying I’m not going back with you lot.’ Duncan’s made up his mind, the ice encasing over his heart. ‘I still hold a special place for Y/N and Michael but I can’t carry on pretending I’m okay sharing you.’

Jim tries to reach him but Duncan shoves him even harder. Jim’s calm snaps, ‘You’re fucking leaving us?’

‘Like you weren’t gonna do it first.’

‘Duncan this isn’t right. I didn’t know about this!’

‘Well you should have thought about someone’s happiness other than your own.’ His vision is blurred with tears. Duncan doesn’t get upset, but Jim Mason has damn well done it. Jim tries to get through the door once more, but Duncan’s fist connects before he can stop himself. Jim smacks against the wall, the bruise forming immediately on his skin. Duncan sucks in a breath, ‘I hope Y/N’s smarter than you think she is.’ His voice is hoarse, damaged from the hurt, the regret, from Jim. ‘I hope to God she never goes near you again. Because you took all of our happiness away when you took her here.’ 

He closes the door on Jim and locks it. Duncan waits, listening for Jim to pick himself off the floor and head back downstairs. There’s silence and then a sound like a wounded animal, Jim shrieks, a fist hitting the door. ‘DUNCAN!’ He screams, ‘You can’t say that to me!’

Duncan holds his breath, he doesn’t dare answer. His own tears are blinding him as he rests his forehead against the door, ‘Go away, Jim.’ He whispers, ‘Leave me in peace, give me that.’

How Jim heard him, he’ll never know. But Jim falls silent at once and then there’s the sound of footsteps and then silence once more. 

Duncan hides in the bedroom for three hours before he can bring himself to stop being a coward. He steps into the living room where every sign of another person has been removed. Jim’s gone and all that’s left is a scrawled note, crossed out in three places from where Jim tried to convey his feelings. Duncan can make out the large, ‘SCREW YOU.’ blackened out on the top right corner. 

It’s simple but effective - Going to get Y/N. Don’t contact me again.

When Jim arrives he half expects Michael to fling him against a wall. He may have even done so, if Y/N wasn’t there. 

‘Come in.’ She says, opening the door wide enough for Jim to enter with his suitcase.

‘Thank you for letting me stay.’ He avoids Michael’s gaze out of guilt. Duncan’s admission burns inside him and Jim can’t bring himself to even think in the Antichrist’s presence. Michael stands there in sweatpants and a t-shirt, his hair tied back in a low bun. Babyhairs escape here and there, making Michael look the most unkempt Jim has ever seen him. He pushes them behind his ears out of habit, his blue eyes darting between Y/N and Jim. 

‘Where’s Duncan?’ He asks, ‘I thought he’d be with you.’

‘Not after recent developments.’ 

It’s then Y/N notices the dark bruise on his cheek, she gasps dramatically and cups Jim’s chin in her hand at once, ‘Did he do  this?’

Jim nods, the guilt rising like bile in his throat. The memory of Duncan’s fist flashes in his mind and all it takes is a wince from Michael to know he’s seen it. ‘Take a seat.’ He offers, leading the way to the sofa and sitting down himself. Jim knows the drill and sits next to Michael who rests his palm against Jim’s bruised cheek. Michael’s eyes slip closed, his voice chanting low and then it’s all over. Jim runs his finger down his cheek to find it smooth and healed once more, ‘Thank you.’

Michael shrugs, it’s nothing to him after all. As easy as levitating a book.

Y/N remains standing, ‘I can’t believe he’d hit you.’ She says, ‘What is he thinking?’

Jim can’t hold it in any longer, ‘He told me some things.’

‘What kind of things?’ Michael isn’t making things easy. Not that Jim expected him to, the Antichrist’s guard is way up high, like brick-wall high. Y/N deposits herself on the armchair beside Michael and Jim can’t help but notice how Michael’s hand caresses her thigh. It’s an obvious claim he’s staking on her, right in front of Jim. 

He can’t be the one to tell him. He can’t.

‘Spit it out, Jim.’ Michael snaps, ‘I assume you’re here to carry on your holiday.’

‘Don’t be callous,’ Y/N warns, shooting Michael a warning look. ‘What happened, Jim?’ He tries to find the words, but they just aren’t there. How can he tell them that Duncan wants only him?

He can’t.

‘Oh fuck me.’

Jim’s eyes close, fucking Michael.

Y/N looks between Michael and Jim, ‘What?’

Michael seems frozen, his eyes penetrating into Jim. He can’t look away, it’s as if Michael is burrowing into his every thought and then it’s like someone has taken a melon-baller and brought up everything Jim as repressing to the surface. Duncan’s declaration explodes at the forefront of his mind, right for Michael’s viewing. The Antichrist’s breath hitches and then he’s up, pacing back and forth. ‘I can’t believe it.’

‘I didn’t know how to say.’ Jim explains quickly, looking to Y/N for support. 

She takes Michael’s place on the sofa, her hand sliding across to take Jim’s. ‘What’s going on, Jim?’

‘I’ll tell you what’s going on.’ Michael’s voice is raw, the pain doubled from the strain Y/N’s heard over the past couple of days. Michael sucks in a shaky breath, but he can’t hold it. His shoulders hitch and right as the thought to do something hits, Y/N’s already beaten him to it. 

’Breathe, Michael.’ She encourages, squeezing his hands and maintaining eye contact. 

The jealousy rears in Jim, despite his best efforts to quell it. He slides off the sofa to join the other two, not wanting to be left out or forgotten. ‘It could just be temporary.’ He offers, ‘I don’t know.’

‘Duncan bought the apartment for Jim.’ Michael spits the words out as if they are poison. 

Jim can’t watch Y/N. He can’t bear to see her in pain and he pulls her into his arms at once, ‘I didn’t know.’ He says, ‘I had no idea he felt that way or I’d have never just took you.’

‘What?’ He can hear Y/N’s voice go up an octave. She escapes Jim’s grasp and wraps her arms around herself, Y/N’s face contorts horribly as she too tries to keep her emotions in check. Michael’s doing a slight better job, still furious but when Y/N breaks down, covering her face he’s over in a heartbeat. Michael kneels down before her, ‘Y/N. We’ll sort this.’

‘He loves you?’ She questions, peering through her fingers to look at Jim. 

Tears pricks his eyes too, watching the people he loves be torn apart, ‘Yeah.’ 

‘Oh my god, what?’ The tears fall down Y/N’s cheeks, fast and heavy. ‘He planned to leave us?’

‘I don’t know,’ Jim admits.

‘It fucking looks like it.’ Michael says, ‘He went behind our backs. Was he even going to tell us?’

‘He must have.’ Jim says, ‘Duncan wouldn’t just fuck off.’

Jim’s body flies sideways and then he’s pressed against the wall, held there by magic. Michael advances on him, his hand closing around Jim’s throat. ‘This is all your fault.’ He spits, putting a light pressure on Jim’s windpipe. 

‘What?’ Jim squeaks, scrabbling against Michael’s grasp. ‘I didn’t do anything Michael, I didn’t know!’ 

‘You found out about the apartment and you took Y/N away from me.’ He spits, ‘And now you’re taking Duncan too.’

’No!’ Jim’s eyes bluge, reaching out to Y/N. But she isn’t looking at the boys, her gaze is locked on her knees. Frozen. 

‘You can’t have her.’ Michael shouts, ‘I loved you. I loved ALL of you.’

‘I know.’

‘I WON’T BE LEFT BEHIND!’ Michael screams, dropping Jim. 

The Beach Boy crumples on the floor, but Y/N still doesn’t come to help him. ‘Y/N?’

‘Get out.’

He blinks, Jim’s vision a blurry mess from Michael’s assault. Did he hear her right? 

Y/N lifts her head up, ‘GET OUT JIM!’

Jim picks himself off the floor, scurrying over to her. ‘Baby, please. I never meant-’

‘I know but I can’t see you right now.’ She cries, trying to wipe at her eyes. 

He produces a tissue from his pocket, wiping away at her face, ‘No, Y/N. Please don’t shut me out. All I want is you.’

‘You’re a fucking prick.’ Michael hisses, ‘You never loved me.’

‘Michael this isn’t just about you.’ Jim snaps, but he wishes he hadn’t. Why can’t he keep his mouth shut anymore, ‘This affect all of us. Our entire fucking lives.’

‘Too right it does,’ Michael fires back. ‘I’ve given up my cause for you all.’

Y/N’s just starting to get her breathing back under control, ‘We can’t lose Duncan.’

‘I think we have.’ Michael and Y/N’s eyes slide right to Jim, ‘I told him not to contact me.’

‘Oh, Jim.’ Y/N breathes, ‘But he loves you.

‘And I love you.’ Jim knows it in the depths of his heart, ‘I’m sorry, Michael. It’s not that I don’t have feelings for you, or Duncan and I may have said something things to both of you but-’

‘Don’t bother.’ Michael says, ‘I can take the hint. I’ll leave you two alone.’ 

Y/N reaches out for him, ‘No, Michael.’

But the Antichrist is gone, disappearing down the hallway. 

Y/N scrubs at her eyes, ‘So Duncan’s gone?’

‘I don’t know.’ Jim admits, ‘It’s all one big mess. I proved that I loved you when I took you with me and I told him not to contact me. Can you forgive me for lying to you?’

It takes her a while but Y/N slowly nods, ‘Never again, Jim.’ She says, ‘You can’t lie to me about anything.’

Jim takes her hand, ’I won’t.’ He kisses her forehead, earning himself a watery smile that disappears.

‘But I won’t leave Michael.’ 

He fights the rage surging once more, ‘Why?’

‘Because he needs me.’ She says, ‘And I love him, Jim.’

‘But you love me too.’

‘I love all of you.’ Y/N confesses, inspecting the marks Michael’s fingers left around Jim’s neck. ‘But this just isn’t working out.’ 

Fear grips him, ‘What do you mean?’

Y/N’s reached some kind of decision. Jim can see it and his stomach turns to lead, ‘I won’t abandon Michael for anything.’ She resolves. 

That’s it. The blow that crushes him, that snaps Jim in two. 

‘You’re leaving me?’ Jim’s sobbing before he can stop himself, ‘You’re choosing Michael Langdon? The fucking Antichrist?’ 

‘Stop it.’ Y/N hisses, ‘As if you care who he is.’ 

Jim hasn’t stopped holding her hand, ‘We have the chance to get out of this and live a life together.’ He urges, ‘You and me. I meant what I said, Y/N. About a family and everything.’

‘And where does that leave Michael?’

‘Why does he matter?’

‘Because you’re meant to love him too, Jim.’ Y/N voice rises, ‘Or was it all an act? Did you fake it just to get me because I can’t deal with you telling me that.’

Jim’s speechless. At first, maybe. But yes, feelings were caught and then the resentment started.

Y/N takes his silence as confirmation, ‘I need you to leave.’ She orders, ‘I need time to think.’ Jim shakes his head, but Y/N tugs her hand out of his grip, ‘If you love me, you’ll give me this.’

Y/N found him later in the bedroom. Michael’s curled up in the fetal position, his hair half coming out of his bun. He doesn’t care about it anymore. He feels numb, as if he can’t breathe properly. It’s the worst feeling he can ever imagine, worse than when his Grandma threw him out, worse than Ben Harmon’s rejection, perhaps even worse than when his Mrs Mead was murdered. ‘Oh my darling,’ He knows Y/N is there and chokes back the most pathetic sob when she wraps him up, spooning herself against him. ‘I’m so sorry.’

‘Why are you so good?’ Michael mumbles, ‘You should go, be with Jim.’

‘I don’t want to.’ She kisses him behind the ear, right on his devil’s mark. It tingles, just as it does every time Y/N kisses him there. ‘I’m staying right here.’

‘You’d risk a chance for happiness for me?’ Michael asks.

She doesn’t answer at first, ‘I love you all.’ She states, ’But clearly this foursome hasn’t worked out. Feelings have caught, all round.’

‘Not me.’ Michael’s adamant in that, ‘I still fucking love Jim despite everything. I love Duncan, how could I not?’ He rolls over onto his back so he can look at Y/N, ‘I love you so much.’

Y/N catches Michael’s hand, kissing his palm. ‘We need to take a break.’ She says, ‘All of us.’

‘No, Y/N please.’

‘I’m not leaving you.’ Her voice is firm, ‘I would never. Not after this, but a relationship just isn’t healthy right now darling.’

Michael swallows down his pain because she’s right. It doesn’t stop the tears from coming again, ‘So what does it make us?’

Y/N rests her head on his chest, ‘I don’t know.’ She says, ‘Something more than friends but not quite lovers.’

‘That doesn’t sound good.’

She laughs, ‘I told Jim to give me space.’

‘Good.’

‘I think I’m going to tell him the same thing.’ Y/N decides, ‘I don’t think we should see anyone for a while.’

He thinks it over long and hard, Michael’s fingers weaving their way into Y/N’s hair. She’s all he has left, so loyal. The only one to truly love him.

‘I think’s wise.’ He lets a tear drop down his face and watches it land in Y/N’s hair, ‘Jesus Christ my whole world is falling apart.’

Y/N nudges her head up, meeting Michael in a kiss. ‘Well let’s hope there’s still a chance to put it back together. For all of us.’ 

TAGGING: @langdonsrapture @langdonsoceaneyes @duncvn @ritualmichael @cryptid-coalition @sodanova @langdvn@lovelykhaleesiii @sammythankyou @kylosbabe @avesatanormalpeoplescareme @langdonsdemon @americanhorrorstudies @petersfern-fics @sojournmichael @starwlkers @ccodyfern @yourkingcodyfern @jimmlangdon @hanhanxx @cocosfern@thelangdoncooperative @queencocoakimmie @wroteclassicaly​ @moontheweirdpan @megacombusken @divinelangdon@starspangledfuck @cherryberryann @lambofcairo @ccodyfern@flowersiren @oldschoolhoe @chocolateandhorror @infernal-langdon @jim-mason22 @duncandimension @luxuryglitterhoe @langdonsinferno @astir-bread @amytakesmanhattan @i-will-die-for-jim-mason @mega-combusken @kahhlo @gremlinkween @satcnas @russianspacegeckosexparty @rosy-pugs @starwlkers @alexcornerblog @sloppy-little-witch-bitch26 ​@michael-langdon-owns-my-soul and anyone I missed out I’m sorry the list is BIG! ❤️

[go-redgirl]

17 Jul 2018 President Donald Trump proved to Russian President Vladimir Putin on Monday that he is nobody’s puppet — not Putin’s, not the Deep State’s, and not the establishment media’s. and racists.

Last August, some truly evil people showed up in Charlottesville. On one side, you had white supremacists, and on the other, you had the left-wing terrorist group Antifa. A riot broke out, one person was murdered, and another 30-plus others were injured.

Almost immediately, the media crafted a narrative around Charlottesville that determined what Trump was supposed to do, which was to make a statement condemning racism and racists. Which he did, more than once. But he also did something he was not supposed to do and that was to, at long last, make an issue of Antifa, who had been running around for the better part of a year acting as the Which he did, more than once. But he also did something he was not supposed to do and that was to, at long last, make an issue of Antifa, who had been running around for the better part of a year acting as the organized left’s Brownshirts.

Like the moral strength he showed in Charlottesville, VA, last year, Helsinki should be remembered as one of Trump’s finest moments.

Antifa had not just been targeting the alt-right. Antifa had been targeting mainstream, everyday conservatives and Trump supporters. And because the establishment media also advocates in favor of violence against the right, Antifa was able to terrorize us with impunity thanks to a media that deliberately ignored, downplayed, justified, glorified, or romanticized their reign of terror.

By having the moral courage to go off-script, Trump used Charlottesville to finally drag these terrorists into the national spotlight, and he did so by telling the truth, by accurately pointing out that “both sides” were responsible for that national disgrace. Trump also had the moral courage to point out there were “good people” on both sides; those who are not racists, who are not left-wing terrorists, who had arrived in good faith to protest against the tearing down of a statue and against racism. The New York Times, of all places, eventually proved Trump correct on this point.

But Trump was supposed to only condemn the white supremacists. He was not supposed to pour sunlight on the media’s shock troops in Antifa, which would limit their effectiveness in the future (and has). He was not supposed to point out that people of good faith can oppose purifying our history with the tearing down of statues. And this is why the media lost its mind for a week.

You see, the establishment media are left-wing activists only interested in one thing, and it has nothing to do with informing the public. Like all leftists, what these awful people most care about is control. The power to control people and events is what defines who they are, and when they sense they are losing that power, when someone dares defy them, like all spoiled children who do not get what they want, they do the only thing left to hold on to their sense of control — they stage a public tantrum.

The media’s post-Charlottesville tantrum was a wonder to behold, and it continues to this day, primarily through lies. Still bitter over Trump’s defiance, the media have fabricated the myth that Trump did not condemn racists (he did, more than once), that he said there are good Nazis (he didn’t), that he created a moral equivalence between racists and anti-racist protesters (he didn’t — what he did was accurately equate Antifa and white supremacists).

Almost a year later, Trump is still walking around with the flaming arrows in his back over Charlottesville, simply because he told the truth about Charlottesville. Which brings me to what happened Monday in Helsinki.

Once again, and this time with the help of that dirty cop, Special Counsel Robert Mueller, the establishment media and the Deep State believed they had rigged events to a point where Trump was cornered, where he would have no choice but to publicly berate Putin on the national stage for the sin of “interfering in our elections.”

What the media wanted was to emotionally blackmail Trump into creating an international scene, a YouTube moment with Putin, where the president would violate every diplomatic norm to publicly shame and berate the Russian president.

Why do you think Dirty Cop Mueller dropped his kangaroo indictment (more on this below) just a few days before the Putin summit? It was all coordinated and staged, it was the behavior of spoiled children desperate to get their way.

Wisely, for the good of his country and out respect for the truth, Trump refused to jump in the trap. And now the spoiled children who once again did not get what they want, are having a national tantrum. And moral cowards, like House Speaker Paul Ryan  (God bless Rand Paul), are terrified of these spoiled media babies and are seeking only to appease them.

Nevertheless, what really happened is this: Trump showed the gangster Putin that he is his own man, that he cannot be bullied by America’s corrupt political and media establishment into behaving in a certain way, that he is willing to take those flaming arrows to do what he thinks is right, which, in this case, is to never forget the lessons of Iraq.

Keep in mind that what Trump was supposed to do Monday was to drink the Kool-Aid, was to believe our Intelligence Community (IC) got it 100 percent right about Russian meddling, was to throw diplomacy out the window and publicly embarrass Putin.

Thankfully, Trump refused to do that, and now the spoiled children, just as they did after Charlottesville, are again lying and claiming Trump “sided with Putin,” when the only thing Trump’s guilty of is remaining diplomatic, which is the whole point of a summit expressly arranged to facilitate peace.

What is so incredible is that, in this the year 2018, after the intelligence catastrophe that was Iraq, after learning the IC was actively meddling in the 2016 election using Kremlin-fed propaganda in the form of a dossier, only a crazy man would swallow whole what the IC is telling him, and only a dangerously weak man would risk damaging relations with Russia further in order to symbolically appease the IC.

The truth is this, and we

Personally, I am not convinced Russia meddled in our election, and I find Dirty Cop Mueller’s kangaroo indictments of people he will never have to prove a case against (because he knows they will not be extradited) to be nothing less than the actions of a flailing prosecutor who’s got less than nothing. Mueller indicting non-American citizens working on behalf of a hostile government is the dumbest thing I have ever seen in my life. It would be like Reagan’s Justice Department indicting the KGB.

Because the documents that convinced Republican investigators Russia meddled in our election came from our IC, I find those conclusions just as suspect.

Even if the Russians did meddle in our elections, it appears to have been nothing more than drop-in-the-bucket Facebook and Twitter expenditures that ended up being less than meaningless. Moreover, most of this Russian monkey business occurred after the election and was targeted against Trump.

The worst case scenario is Russia figured out John Podesta’s email password was “password” and disseminated his emails. But where is the proof?

Regardless, is it not interesting that Dirty Cop Mueller’s kangaroo indictment left out one pertinent fact, the fact that — if you believe any of this — the Russians also tried to hack the GOP, and failed?

We meddle in other country’s elections, other countries meddle in our elections, and suddenly I am supposed to give a damn? Russia has been meddling in American politics going back decades and all of a sudden this fact of life demands Trump stage an international incident? Are these people out of their minds? We all know what is going on here — the only reason we are required to suddenly care about decades-old espionage-as-usual is because the media and the political establishment cannot accept losing the 2016 presidential election.

Once burnt, twice shy.

To my eternal shame, I swallowed the case for WMDs in Iraq hook, line, and sinker. Why, back in ’02, the very idea the patriots within the IC could get such an important matter wrong — to even suggest such a thing, was unpatriotic.

And now I am watching this dangerous horseshit play out all over again, where it is un-American to question the IC, where we have “super patriots” running around defining patriotism as drinking the FBI/CIA/IC Kool-Aid, where the jingoistic media is trying to out-jingoize each other by screaming about “acts of war,” where the pursuit of peace is treason, and those who pursue peace are traitors…

Where, for some obscene reason, we are supposed to always believe the IC, which means we must condemn the peacemakers like Trump who dare remain skeptical.

Most of all, we are required to forget that this is the same IC that missed the fall of the Soviet Union, missed 9/11; that led us into a harrowing and pointless war in Iraq; that used a dossier filled with Kremlin-fed propaganda to frame Trump; that lionizes proven liars like James Clapper, Dirty Cop James Comey, and John Brennan; that hands ego-maniacal monsters like Peter Strzok extraordinary power (and still has him on the payroll); that uses a kangaroo indictment that says the Russians hacked the DNC, even though no one in law enforcement has inspected the DNC server.

Sorry, but when the American IC is not incompetent, it is corrupt in ways that would not be believed in fiction.

Trump’s

actions

speak for themselves. His

actions

, not his words when engaged in direct diplomacy, which of course require a certain amount of finesse and BS, are what matter.

It is simply a fact that Trump has been tougher on Russia than both his predecessors combined. He has increased Russian sanctions, directed many of those sanctions directly at Putin’s inner circle, has drawn a real red line in Putin’s client state of Syria, twice bombed Putin’s client Assad, is openly admonishing Germany for being Putin’s energy client, overturned Obama’s appeasement of Putin by giving Poland anti-missile defense, ordered Russian diplomatic properties closed in D.C., Manhattan, Seattle, and San Francisco; Trump has armed Ukraine and is aggressively pushing our NATO partners to invest even more into an organization built specifically to defy Russia.

Which means that what Putin saw in Helsinki is a firm American president who cannot be bullied, berated, blackmailed, or cajoled, even with the threat of a week-long tantrum performed by spoiled babies back in his own country.

This is a good thing.

I did not vote for Donald Trump because I wanted to risk another Cold War as a means to make the IC feel better about itself. I did not vote for Donald Trump because I wanted the status quo respected, which means more foreign adventures and the appeasement of an increasingly unbalanced national media.

 I voted for Donald Trump because I want to keep my guns, I do not want to bake gay wedding cakes, I do not want my vote canceled out by illegal aliens, and most of all, after eight years of George W. Bush’s stupid wars and eight years of Barack Obama’s leading from behind while strangling our economy, my country deserves an era of Peace and Prosperity.

And Monday, in Helsinki, while knowing full well the hell that would be unleashed on the other side, President Trump did the right thing in pursuit of Peace. This is not me arguing he was perfect, that he could not have been more articulate, but that he did the right thing is beyond dispute.

For two years the media and Never Trump assured and reassured me that Trump was a shallow and feckless man interested only in one thing: adulation and praise. But on Monday in Helsinki, just as he did in Charlottesville, I saw Trump choose, at great personal cost, to do the moral and patriotic thing over what would have earned him that adulation and praise.

Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC. Follow his Facebook Page here.

Big GovernmentBig JournalismDonald TrumpFBIHelsinkiHelsinki summitintelligence communityJohn NolteRobert MuellerRussiaRussian collusionVladimir Putin

[datingadviceonreddit]

I could really use some outside perspective on this. So I [28 m] was in a relationship with with a 42 year old woman - she has 2 kids, is divorced, and let's call her Shannon - and am not sure if she's just manipulative or I'm an asshole for real. Just fyi I'm a virgin.We started texting last February, and quickly realized we had a lot of things in common and conversations were really great. Eventually we started discussing more intimate things, and although we couldn't physically hang out - I was finishing my BS in NY, and she lived in my home state of TX - we texted every day. One of those days she asked me what my parents would think if we dated. My reply was that they wouldn't care, which was true - because when I went back that May after graduation I told them I was seeing her. I didn't think I had anything to hide, and I stood behind my decision.Anyway, back to February, after a few days after she asked about dating, she told me that she had had an abortion back in September of '17. She told me that her ex was abusive and an addict and that when she got pregnant he made her get the abortion. She had been struggling with depression ever since and that I was the only person, beside the friend who took her to the clinic, who she had felt comfortable/safe enough to tell. I was shocked, but felt so much for her that I tried to be as supportive and loving as I could. It made me really consider our relationship and what I thought about her. After thinking on it I came to the conclusion that I still had feelings for her, and she wasn't any less of a good person or somehow unworthy or dirty. It was a decision I didn't make lightly, because I can only imagine how hard that must be on a woman, and if I continued the relationship I couldn't half ass it; that if I was in, I had to be in 100%. So we continued talking and I kept on trying to build her up. Eventually she said we should hang out at her place for spring break and we could "play" cause her daughters were going to be with their dad. I immediately agreed and used some of my school loan to buy a plane ticket.The time came for spring break and I went back to TX, excited and nervous all at the same time because I hadn't told her I was a virgin. Well the week in TX came and went and all of a sudden she went MIA. I texted her to see if she still wanted to hang out at her place, and got no reply. I was really crushed, not only because of we were going to "play", but because I really wanted to be with her in person. I started to get in my head and I figured she had decided I wasn't good enough because why would she would want to be with me - she's a really great looking woman, and a great person, she could have anyone she wants. So when Friday came, I decided to text her to tell her that although I was sad we hadn't met up, I understood that she had decided she didn't want to be with me, and that after all the honesty she had with me, I had to come clean and tell her I was a virgin and that she deserved for me to have the balls to be equally honest. I realize amd abortion and virginity are not equal, but I had never mustered up the courage to tell someone, much less someone I was romantically interested in. I wished her and her girls all the best and I would completely understand if she didn't want to talk anymore.Days went by, and I had not heard back from her, which I kind of expected, why would she want to be with a 28 year old virgin still finishing his bachelor's degree. Once I got back to NY, I started getting ready to go back to classes the next day, and she texted me. She said she was sorry that she had been with her family and her phone fell in water the Wednesday before, and that she finally read my text and it made her cry. She told me that there was nothing wrong with me, that she was sorry she couldn't communicate with me and that she hadn't been able to get away from her family, and that she wamted to pursueour relationship. I was thoroughly shocked. That was not what I was expecting at all. So we continued texting. I decided to trust her. For the rest of the semester we kept on talking and shared our account passwords to be able to watch movies and tv shows together, in a way.Graduation came and then it was time for me to go back to TX and find a job. Before all of this I had planned on staying in NY and do everything possible to get a job there. When I got back we made plans to meet up again, but this time just to be with each other because she wasn't feeling well, and her daughter would be home. I agreed, I really wanted to see her and be with her. We did hang out, I met her youngest daughter and she hung out with us for a bit watching a movie. While watching the movie we were next to each other and got closer; to the point where she rested her head on my chest/shoulder and I put my are around her. Her daughter left a few minutes into the movie and we kept watching TV till late at night. I ended up staying over and sleeping on her couch. The next morning we woke up and watched some tv - the royal wedding was on - and I eventually took off.We texted every day and her health got worse, she had already been feeling ill and by a week later she ended up going to an urgent clinic. We made plans to hang out for her birthday but she ended up going to the hospital, turns out she had sepsis. She recovered, but her doctors recommended she have a couple of check ups in the months following to make sure her organs healed up. During this time she ended up having to take all kinds of meds for her heart and antibiotics till she was in the clearWe hung out one more day, but her ex's step mom was there because they were supposed to travel to Alaska for a couple of weeks so that they could visit with the girl's grandparents. She told me to tell her ex's step mom we had met in class at the University of Houston, and that it how we knew each other. I agreed and when we met up at her place we cuddled and watched movies. By the time it was time for me to go, she asked me if I would stay at her place while they were gone so I could watch her cats, get her mail, and also so I could get some space from staying with my parents. I agreed, and the day they were to fly out came and I arrived at her place. They were already gone, but that was expected. She told me they were leaving at noon so they could check in to a hotel near the airport. When I got there I got settled in, but I ended up getting a call from her around 10-12; she was crying and said that her ex's step mom had started drinking and that she was getting abusive. She asked me to please go pick her and her youngest daughter up. So I did. When I pciked her up she was bawling. She was like "babe that was awful" and we hugged. I hadn't thought about it before but her oldest daughter - who was 16 - had decided she was still going to go. Or at least not come with us. Her 16 year old ended up not going. But when we got back she told me that she couldn't go to a place so far away where she would be isolated from everything and that if her ex's step mom would get belligerently drunk she would have nowhere to go; she didn't want to be stranded.Well when we got back to her place we stayed up cuddled up in her couch watching tv.I left the next morning and we kept on talking. Around the first week of July she asked me if I could please go with her and her youngest daughter to a slime convention, her daughter really wanted to go and she was feeling anxious. I agree and she booked us a hotel. The plan was for me to go and hang out and "play" the Friday before the convention and I could stay over and drive us on Saturday to Dallas.When I got there on Friday she was a bit tipsy, but I can't judge, I mean although I don't skip work or miss out on any of my responsibilities, I do drink quite a bit. She described herself as a lush, and I in my opinion that was something else we had in common. Her daughters were both home, and she had rearranged her living room so that the couch was on the wall between her oldest daughter's room and the living room, and her youngest daughter's room, which is adjacent to her room and only separated by a door with glasses, had the doors wide open. Her daughter's room leads into her room. Anyway we were hanging out having a good time and her 12 year old said she was hungry, I hadn't drank at all and felt I could have some beer said I would get her a bugger and a milkshake and after we could pick up some beer and wine cause she was out. We went and I got the food for her kid, and two bottles of wine and a six pack. I thought two bottles was a bit much but thought hey if I finish my six pack I can get some wine. So I paid for it. When we got back home we started drinking a bit and talking and her 12 year old showed me her wiccan stone on a string. She asked me to ask it questions so I played along, and asked some questions. She told me the answers and what not. She was having fun so everyone was happy. Eventually her mom and I started talking about music and our favorite songs so her kid left. I got up for a beer, and somehow the subject came up and she said that I wasn't going to be losing my virginity that night so I shouldn't expect sex. I was alright with that so we kept to chilling and we kept on having a great time, her legs over my lap and just kidding around. Eventually when we got really close I decided to spoon her. She said "we're not having sex", which was totally ok. I decided I wasn't going to push it to sex, but I wanted to caress her. I was really turned on, and my hands were rubbing her legs and thighs. Btw she was wearing really short and tight shorts, and she unbuttoned them after a while. We spent several hours talking and listening to music and cuddling. She went through a whole bottle of wine and started on the second. She eventually grabbed my hand and put it on her abdomen. My immediate thought was to put my hand down her pants, but then I saw the door open and she said she didn't want sex, so I didn't. Which was fortunate cause her 12 year burst in pissed off because the music was too loud and it was 2 am. I immediately took away my hand and we both started laughing cause she was so mad and we almost got caught. I didn't think it was a big deal, by 3 am she said let's have sex. I was like alright, but I knew there was no way her kids wouldn't find us. She then thought about it and realized we had no privacy. So we kept on cuddling and talking in the couch in the living room and her 17 year old yelled, that she wanted to go to sleep and that she could hear everything. So Shannon yelled at her, and then got up and stormed into her room yelling and really aggressive. She shut the door behind her and from I heard was her daughter screaming cause Shannon was pulling her hair, threw her cellphone at her kid's head, and told her she had to call her dad right then to pick her up and take her away; the 16 year old was gonna be spending the weekend alone for the first time that weekend . Her daughter was crying and I thought about going in the room and bring her out. Then I thought I'm a latino with a DUI on my record, and god forbid this woman turns on me and I have to subdue her without hitting her, and someone calls the cops. I would have been fucked. So I stayed out of it, against my better sense. After about 5 minutes Shannon came back and we sat back down on the couch. When I thought she had calmed down? She got back up again and went back into the kid's room this time though I was ready and followed her in before she could close the door. She was all kinds of pissed off, I could sympathize with the kids, they wanted to go to sleep, they're kids. This time I grabbed her by the hand and pulled her back a bit. She kept on yelling at her daughter, and I told her this wasn't necessary, to please come with me. She budged and I told her daughter I was so sorry. So I took her back to the living room and argued a bit. She said I was playing devil's advocate for saying we should head to bed. She said her daughters have so many freedoms and she allows them to do a lot at her own life. She then started yelling "I'm not scared of you", to her daughter. I told her it wasn't necessary, that her kid was probably more scared of her. I grew up in a house with parents who would hit you, but this wasn't discipline.She quit yelling and told me to lay back down on the couch, which I was amenable to, that's what we were doing, and she would calm down. We got back to cuddling and this time i put botb my arms around her and held her. She asked me if I was going to leave her and I told her no. After a bit we got up and she grabbed my hand and we went to her room. We slept together and at some point she took her shirt off along with her bra, and grabbed my hand and put it to her heart and told me she loved me. The next morning I got her breakfast, and drove us to Dallas.When we got to the hotel room there was only one bed. I was expecting two so we could sleep together, And her kid could sleep on the other. When I saw that I didn't push it and slept on the couch. My thought was that it would be inappropriate for me to sleep on the same bed with them, and that the weekend was really about her slime convention. So I stepped aside. I was completely beat, I had gotten up at 8 am to get her breakfast, and tend to her hangover. I cleaned up after she finished eating, let her recover. I wanted to make sure we weren't going to be late to sign in, cause there was a deadline, and it wasn't about to be my fault we didn't make it.We made it in time, and to be honest with you I was running low on money. I was actively looking for work and hadn't found anything and I was using the last of my money from working at school. The next morning we got up early and started the day, I was still beat from sleeping on the couch, having only 5 hours of sleep, drinking the night before, and driving 4 hours straight. After the convention I picked them up and started driving back. About 30 minutes in I asked her if she could take the wheel cause I was falling asleep. She agreed, but there was definitely shift in her mood. We ended up not going back to her place, and she dropped me off at my parent's house.We kept texting, the following days, but there was definitely a distance. By Friday say told me she told me it wasn't me and it was her. I told her it broke my heart but ok.I started drinking really heavily now, and sent her a text saying "maybe in another life" in reference to 11.22.63, a show we were watching.On the weekend she texted me back and said she wasn't going to be part of any pitty party. I'm not sure but she seemed like she had been drinking. At this point I had already started drinking really heavily, and was high on pot, and just had broken down in front of my dad. I told her I had not been doing well, and had just had an intense talk with my dad. She started getting more aggressive, and it culminated in her telling me that at least her ex would clean up her house, and was useful. She said that her ex husband made over 300k a year. I told her I had been there for her, that when I got a job I had every intention of providing for her and the kids. She told me she didn't need anyone to be there for her. She told me I was an amateur. And I told her she uses people. I felt like I had been had, and even she had told me stories of a friend she'd known her whole life whom she used, and that she had been kinder to me in the time we knew each other than in a lifetime to this guy. So I told her she uses people, and she said I was an asshole for saying that, and that I was no longer welcome. She proceeded to block me on Facebook, and my numberAfter a couple of days I decided to remove her from my Hulu. I didn't see the need to keep providing that after she had banished me from her life and contacting her.I emailed her one last time after drinking a few 40s. She replied that I was cruel like many other men in her life, and to never contact her again.The cruel, reference comes from a discussion we had about her ex husband taking his latest gf's car away after breaking up with her, even though he owned it. Now I question whether I am really cruel and asshole or if she's just manipulative. via /r/dating_advice