#so that she could be the superhero that could move mountains and save the day

[paintingformike]

i feel like i’ve thought of this before but just didn’t dwell on it too much...but the fact that in the cabin scene when will questioned mike about the way el was acting towards him and mike immediately brought up how they were talking about el’s loss should’ve been enough of a hint that the current state of their relationship (el ignoring mike) has something to do with el losing...

[bylrlve]

403-404 thoughts

(Prev post here)

Murray’s prophecy of the kids playing too much Nintendo, eating too much junk food, smoking some ganja, pounding some beers, and experimenting sexually is actually eerily accurate. Nintendo, as @gayofthefae brilliantly observed, has been equated to the Nina project. Eating junk food? The boys presumably survived on the (quickly cold) pizzas and the sodas Argyle delivered to their house - and if they stopped at gas stations… these boys would have little to no money on their persons, so junk is all they could really afford, one assumes. Smoking ganja? Jon and Argyle. Pounding beers? Not the Cali gang, but Lucas did.

Experimenting sexually? No one has sex during s4 - Jopper makeout but that’s hardly experimenting, and certainly not for adults, and he was specifically talking about the kids. None of them are in the mood for it, naturally, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this is foreshadowing… something between a certain pair of boys. It couod be a cheeky reference to Will growing into his sexuality but, and forgive my crudeness here, right-hand solo sex doesn’t really fit, especially since he was talking about Jonathan, El, Mike, and Will as a group, implying a plural. In fact, this scene takes place directly after El and Mike fight, and after she is arrested. Experimenting is a very loaded word…

Never fails to get me how Mike just threw her last letter into the trash - it had already been explained that he may not see her for months, and here he is, treating her last missive to him with such disrespect. This attitude isn’t even new - he crumpled up and tossed aside the letter she’d painstakingly written and drawn rainbow designs on in the opening minutes. Meanwhile… there are Funko Pops of him proudly showing off the new painting Will made for him.

“You’re packed already?” “Yeah, I mean, I never really unpacked.” is the most blatantly subtext-ridden thing to come out of Mike’s mouth all season, and it’s the biggest piece of in-verse proof that he was fronting hard during 402 - and that was the lovey-doviest he was with El.

Can we all just take a moment to appreciate Mike saying that home isn’t home without Will? Fuck the monologue, that is the most romantic thing Mike says all season.

@bylertruth3r made the above video, showing the eerily similarity between the Byler 404 reunion and a scene in 13 Reasons Why - and this scene was originally scripted as Mike coming up to Will kneeling oj the ground, meaning it was conceived as them being much closer together.

I don’t think we appreciate, enough, that Mike monologued to Will in this scene. Not only are Jasons’s ily to Chrissy at the pep rally, Jancy’s ilys, Argyle and Eden’s LAFS, Max’s saving herself from Vecna with flashbacks, and Dustin’s ILY to Eddie all contrasts to the Mike monologue sequence in 409… but this is, too. Here are Mike’s three big monologues lain out:

"El? I don't know if you can hear this, but... but if you can, I want you to know I'm here, okay? I'm right here. And... I love you. El, do you hear me? I love you. I'm sorry I don't say it more. I... It's not because I'm scared of you. I'm not. I've never felt that way. Never. But I am scared that one day you'll realize you don't need me anymore. And I thought if I said how I felt, it would somehow make that day hurt more. But the truth is, El, I don't know how to live without you. I feel like my life started that day we found you in the woods. You were wearing that yellow Benny's Burgers T-shirt. And it was so big it almost swallowed you whole. And I knew right then and there, in that moment, that I loved you. And I've loved you every day since. I love you on your good days. I love you on your bad days. I love you with your powers, I love you without your powers. I love you for exactly who you are. You're my superhero. And... I can't lose you. Okay? Do you hear me? I can't lose you. You can do anything. You can fly. You can move mountains. I believe that. I really do. But right now, you just have to fight. Okay? El. Do you hear me? You need to fight! You have to fight. Fight!” Tearing up, not crying.

“Do you remember the first day that we met? It was… it was the first day of kindergarten. I knew nobody. I had no friends. And I just felt so alone, and so scared, but… I saw you on the swings, and you were alone too,. You were just swinging by yourself. And I just walked up to you, and I asked. I asked if you wanted to be my friend. And you said yes. You said yes. It was the best thing I’ve ever done.”

“Hey also, about the last few days… No, no, no. You didn’t deserve anything. Listen, the truth is… the last year has been weird, you know. And I mean, Max and Lucas and Dustin… they’re great, they’re great, itd just… it’s Hawkins. It’s not the same without you. And I feel like I was worrying too much about El, and I don’t know. I feel like I… lost you, or something. I have no idea what’s going to happen next. But whatever it is, I think we should work together. I think it’ll be easier if we’re a team. Best friends. Cool.”

Some quick observations:

1 and 2 occur under near-identical circumstances - El and Will are under Vecna’s control and he’s trying to give them strength. 3 is entirely unprompted. The first occurs under a level of duress similar to that of a gun being held to El’s head, as gayofthefae observes here

The rain fight is all over the s4 bedroom scene, and it’s very clearly on both of their minds. Mike has spent the past nine months addressing every criticism of Will’s - he’s friends with Dusfin, he’s playing D&as, he only kissed El when she initiated, and broke it quickly, and he even got angry at Lucas for prioritising others over the Party - although his complaint, unlike Will’s, was irrational and unfair. He relapsed at the airport and roller rink by trying to be normal, but this scene is him course-correcting for that. Mike’s calling himself a self-pitying idiot and thanking Will for being sensible is likelt not only referring to the earlier scene in Will’s room, but to the S3 and 402 fights. If that is the intention, it makes one wonder what Mike was self-pitying about in the latter. @howtobecomeadragon discusses it in-depth here

Right from my very first watch, the proposal imagery in the s2 speech - ‘I walked up to you, and I asked. I asked if you wanted to be my _, and you said yes… you said yes. It was the best thing I’ve ever done.’ - jumped out at me. M*levens regularly theorise that the series will end with Mike and El either getting married, or engaged, citing that Lucas line from s1 as foreshadowing - but we see in s3 that Mike relies on Lucas to push him through every stage of the apology, while he doesn’t with Will, and we see bouquet imagery subverted with that gift of flowers at the airport (see below).

TOO MUCH? Mike spent the s3-4 break backsliding in the whole ‘say ILY to El’ plot… but did address the problems Will had with him. Not only that… he came to the conclusion that he worried too much about El? Specifically because he lost Will as a result? I said in the previous post that Bylers don’t talk enough about “Who… who said that I didn’t?” We definitely don’t talk enough about the anti-m*leven implications of this line, because they’re bonkers. Mike worries a lot about El when she’s away at Nina, but at home he’s distinctly distant from her -

while only drawing closer to Will

This is how he looked at Will during the 404 monologue btw: (gif credit to @palettehao and gayofthefae)

Lastly, I’ll finish this analysis post by swinging back to 402, and to the fact that Mike picking that bouquet? It doesn’t make much sense, timeline-wise. In fact, I honestly can’t figure out when he picked them.

Mike only says, on March 22, that he picked them ‘in Hawkins’ before launching into a nervous, distracting spiel about picking 70:30 purple to yellow, only maybe he picked too much yellow*, etc.

On the morning of March 21 he was still in his underwear reading over a letter to El, and was delayed going to with. He had classes at school, and was preoccupied during lunch bargaining with Eddie, bargaining wi5 various students, and finally bargaining with Erica. Between school and Hellfire he could plausibly have picked them, but that would have required cycling across town and back, when Nancy drove him to school - he didn’t have his bike at school. He also had nowhere to put them, except the backpack that presumably had school supplies in it - those flowers would not have looked so fresh had he shoved them in a backpack. Dustin also doesn’t mention him being gone prior to Hellfire. After hellfire, he went home to be there by 9 - he had to have done, otherwise he wouldn’t have been allowed on the flight.

His flight was at 6:30 and Indiana -> Cali takes 4 hrs 10 minutes. He would have been awake from very early in the morning with Karen, gathering his stuff, and then driving to the airport with adequate time to check-in and board the plane. There isn’t a hope in hell of Karen letting him randomly cycle across town in the dark for an undetermined length of time just to pick some fucking flowers, lmao. There is a strong chance, however, that Karen, the romantic, let him buy flowers and a pen in the Indianapolis airport before boarding the flight. Maybe she even purchased them.

The kicker? The bouquet of flowers had a fancy, polished-looking greeting card attached, one professionally made.

There is something deliciously meta about those flowers. M*levens have adopted yellow and purple as a symbol of the relationship - even though Mike only wore those colours to please her when he was being ‘hokey’ and a ‘knock-off’, to quote Argyle and the costume designer. I’m not even sure El truly favours those colours, as she doesn’t wear them much and doesn’t have any notable items in those colours. For all we know, she was asked if she had any favourite colours and simply picked two that came to mind.

What’s more, it seems very likely that Mike simply lied to her about putting in the effort of getting them himself, and instead relied on something pre-made and commercial. It isn’t impossible that he picked them, however (though the timing is a mystery) - we are shown at the end of the season that the field outside Hopper’s cabin has very similar flowers. But those… well… those have their own implications

*talk about subtext lmao…

To finish, I want to share a delicious finding from @sapphicjopper on twitter from last may - the working name for st4 was Tareco. There’s a song called Tareco & Mariola, all about a girl who knows her lover isn’t right for her, who knows that she doesn’t need him, and who is leaving him - ‘it’s not you who will give me the spring, the beautiful flowers I dreamed of in summer’. It’s reminiscent of the opera Nina - about a woman waiting for her lover, not accepting that he won’t return and be how she desperately wants him to be.

[ily-fictional-women]

The Visit

Summary: With Natasha and Y/n being together for over a few months now it was time to make the visit. The visit for Natasha to finally meet Y/n's parents. Which could end perfectly, or horribly. (If your parents suck then the parents are OC’s)

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Warnings: None that I know of, but if I should add anything let me know! 

Word count: 1145

a/n: This is a request from the lovely @natsbaby, you can find the request here. Also for the parent name situation Y/m = your mom’s name and Y/d = your dad’s name. (Reblogs are welcome and critiques/advice are heavily encouraged, but please no translating.)

“Okay, we have a few minutes before we get to my mom and dad’s place let’s go over some ground rules.” Y/n pulls out her phone as Natasha drives up the snowy mountain, “Okay, number one keep the SHIELD talk to a minimum, please. Number-” Y/n’s cut off by Natasha’s laughter, “What? What’s so funny to you?” Natasha restrains her last few giggles, “Nothing nothing. It’s just kinda going to be hard to do that with the big-time Avenger thing we have going on.” 

“Alright fine.” Y/n groans tilting her head back into the headrest. Natasha rests a hand on her thigh keeping a tighter grip on the wheel with the other hand. “Detka, it’ll go fine. We’re just staying for a couple of days. There’s nothing to worry about.” Grinning to herself Y/n stares out the window on her side. “Save those ideas for the drive back to the compound.” 

// 

Before Natasha can even park Y/n’s mom opens the cabin door excitedly. “Y/d! The girls are here!” Y/d smiles walking out of the cabin as he watches Natasha open Y/n’s door. Y/d inches closer to the car, “Do you two have any bags you need help with or anything?” Natasha opens the trunk of the car grabbing both Y/n and her own duffle bags. “Oh, no. I’ve got Mr. L/n don’t worry about it.”  

Walking into the cabin was strange for Y/n to say the least, nothing had changed in the years she’d been gone. “Where can I set these down?” Natasha politely looks over to Y/n’s mom. “Oh you can just set them down in the guest room, it’s down the hall second room to the left.” Y/n furrow’s her eyebrows, “You turned my childhood bedroom into a guest room?” 

Y/m moves to the kitchen stirring the pot of food on the stove, “Y/n honey that’s just what we call your room we didn’t change anything to it.” Y/d tries to reason with her, “Plus, Y/n the ‘guests’ are just your cousins when we have family over.” Y/n sighs walking away from her parents and towards her room. “Tone down the attitude ma’am. Just because you’re a little superhero doesn’t mean you can’t have manners!” Y/m retorts. 

Leaning against the doorway of her old room Y/n watches Natasha look around in amazement. 

“Your room’s cool. It’s so cozy.” Y/n flops onto the small bed back first. Letting out an exasperated sigh Y/n stretches out her arms, “Welcome to me.” With that comment, Y/n gives Natasha a sarcastic smile as she lies beside her. 

Natasha elbows Y/n looking up at the ceiling closer. “You really had glow in the dark stars on your ceiling?” Y/n scoffs playfully glaring at Natasha, “Don’t shade the stars, Nat.” 

As a few quiet minutes pass by Natasha suddenly springs up from the bed. “Come on get up.” Natasha has a hand outstretched to Y/n. Y/n groans, “Why?” Natasha grins pulling Y/n off the bed, “You’re gonna dance with me because you’re quiet. And when you’re quiet you’re nervous. Plus dancing usually cheers you up.” 

“Sure, that’s true. But there’s no music.” Moving closer to Natasha Y/n wraps her arms around her waist inching her lips closer to Natasha’s. 

The would be kiss was interrupted by Y/d clearing his throat, “Uh, lovebirds. Dinner’s ready.” The two awkwardly split apart Natasha making her way back to the kitchen first. “How much of that did you see?” Y/n looks at her dad timidly. He smiles, “Enough.”

// 

With the dinner already plated on the table Y/n sits next to Natasha with her parents sitting directly in front of them. “So, have you two always lived in the mountains? Like before having Y/n?” Y/d looks at Y/m awkwardly before looking back at Natasha. 

“Well, I did. This was the house I grew up in. But I met my lovely Y/m in high school when I had to go down to the city for school.” Y/m smiles at Y/d as he continues to eat his food. “Oh! Natasha!” Y/m perks up. “Has Y/n ever shown you pictures of herself as a baby or in high school?” Natasha smiles at Y/n mischievously. “No, I can’t say I’ve had the pleasure.” 

Immediately Y/m jumps out of her seat, “Great! I’ll go get the scrapbooks!” Y/n nearly chokes on the food she had in her mouth. “MOM! Mom! That's not necessary!” Natasha laughs with Y/d at the family antics.  

Y/n groans as Y/m starts flipping through the thick scrapbook with Natasha. “Y/n.” Y/d tries to get her attention. “You do know it’s our job as your parents to embarrass you right.” Y/d has a cheeky grin as Y/n just slouches in her seat. “Dad. Don’t you have guns to clean or something before we go out tomorrow morning?” 

Y/d puts his hands up in mock surrender but Natasha perks her head up a little from the scrapbook. She remembered a few weeks back that Y/n mentioned she went hunting with her dad a lot. “I could help you with that.” Y/d looks at Natasha questionably. “You know how to clean a hunting rifle?” 

“Yeah of course,” Natasha replies a little overconfidently. “Good to know a famous superhero knows how to work more than a pistol. Come with me.” Y/d motions with his head to the basement. As the two finally leave Y/n wipes her head toward her mom. 

“Was the scrapbook thing really necessary?” Grinning Y/m turns back to a page with a picture of baby Y/n. “Yes, it was! Look how adorable my little baby is.” Y/m waves around the book holding it up to Y/n. As Y/m places down the book again Y/n starts to get nervous again. 

“Do you like her? Do you think Dad likes her? Honestly, I don’t know even know what-” Y/m takes one of Y/n’s hands. “Kiddo. Relax. I think I need to talk to her more but I do like her so far. And as far as it comes to your dad,” she pauses so Y/n can hear her dad excitedly talking to Natasha, “I think he likes her a lot.” 

Running up the stairs of the basement Y/d pops back into the kitchen. He looks toward Y/m with a wide smile, “Can we trade Y/n out for her.” Y/n scoffs looking at him almost offended. “Dad no! You can’t do that.” Y/d looks down at Y/n in a mock straight face. “Well, then you better marry her.”

[elshells]

🫂- What was your inspiration for your WIP?

Thanks for the question! I think I've answered this before but it's lost to the void now so I'll happily answer again!

EMBR of the Earth: Years and years ago (I don't remember how old I was, maybe early teens), I was trying out my uncle's VR headset. There were a bunch of simulated scenarios to experience that lasted maybe two minutes; you could explore a sunken ship, walk with dinosaurs, ride a roller coaster, things like that. But the one that I tried was about an extraterrestrial encounter. It was a simple concept. You were just alone in this forest at night, walking past the wreckage of a spaceship. Everything was quiet until you hear a noise, and then you see a robotic shape in the distance and round, glowing blue eyes watching you. And that's how the scene ended; the rest was left up to your imagination. I didn't actually start writing EMBR until years later, but I thought about that scene a lot and it definitely spurred forth a lot of ideas and speculation about where I wanted the story to go, even if I haven't found a clear path yet.

Agent Ace: It's a combination of reworked fanfic and a Wattpad writing prompt. When I first started sharing my writing online, I wrote fanfiction and then branched out to original fiction (bonus points if you can guess which fandom I wrote for!) Back in the day, when I was primarily a Wattpad user, I participated in writing contests run by Wattpad officials (I don't do that anymore because those competitions became sketch as hell). One such contest was to write a novella in the span of (I think) six months, based on one of the many writing prompts offered by the judges. I don't remember what my prompt specifically said, but the gist of it was that a detective infiltrated a vigilante group. I had been flirting with the idea of writing a superhero story for some time before this, and so it felt like the perfect time to jump into a new project! At this point, I was solely writing original fiction, but I ended up reusing some plot beats from my old fanfiction that got me started. That's the only element of that story that stayed the same; characters, setting, and everything else developed on their own.

Encore: The idea for this one came from my era of watching YouTube let's plays. I love playing horror games, but I don't have a PlayStation, so if I was interested in a game that wasn't compatible with the Xbox, I would look it up online and watch other people play it. One of these games was called Until Dawn, which, if you haven't heard of it, is basically an interactive horror movie. You play as a cast of cliche teenagers trying to survive monsters in the mountains, and there are multiple endings based on how well you did (i.e. how many people died). One of the characters (I think her name was Sam) was unique in that she was designed to survive no matter what choices you made, at least until the big climactic scene at the end. If you made one wrong move, she would die, but that was literally the only way you could kill her, so it was like she was the game's 'Final Girl.'

During the credits, there's a cut scene where she's in a police interview after getting rescued, and depending on your actions and on who's still alive, she blames herself for the death of one of the other characters. She says something along the lines of, "It was my fault that he died, and I would do anything to stop it from happening." Later on, this line got the wheels in my head turning. What if the Final Girl wasn't the only one to make it to the end? What if she could save the others? And what would she give to subject herself to the horrors all over again if it meant that she wouldn't have to be the last one standing.

Enter time travel, Final Girl Cece Harper, and the contract binding her to a shady musician, and the rest is history. :)

[bleakfated]

INTERACTIONS. HEADCANONS. PHOTOS. IISMS. WISHLIST. OPENS. SC.

STATISTICS

BASICS: name: asa fox age: 30s-40s gender & pronouns: male, he/him sexuality: heterosexual faceclaim: michiel huisman occupation: hunter location: emerson, manitoba

PERSONALITY: positive traits: outgoing, personable, free-spirited, warm-hearted negative traits: particular, unapologetic, boastful, impulsive

APPEARANCE: scars: werewolf scratches across the chest, gash across the back of the shoulder & stomach from jael tattoos: mountains in the shape of a bear on arm, antipossession on chest piercings: none

VERSES

BIOGRAPHY

TL;DR

Asa was inspired to be a hunter when he was ten years old on vacation in the states and Mary Winchester saved him from a werewolf. Despite his mother's protests he was enamored by the idea of being a real life superhero when he was young. He detailed a lot of his adventures in postcards addressed to Mary all from a pack he purchased in Canada. With no way to actually get them to her, he held on to his collection everywhere he went in hopes of one day getting to talk to her again. Asa became a known hunter in his own right in the US and Canada alike.

FULL BIO

Asa Fox was born to his single mother Lorraine Fox in Emerson, Manitoba. His mother was kicked out of the house for having a baby young, unwed, and claiming to not know who his father was. For the majority of his life, Asa and his mom were alone, especially after her sister moved to the United States. As he grew older and was easier to travel with, Lorraine started to take Asa more frequently to visit her sister during his school breaks. Sometimes he would go spend time with his aunt for the summer while his mom picked up an extra job to continue to provide for him. From a young age, Asa took up many outdoor hobbies including fishing and hunting, particularly enjoying archery. He felt responsible to help his mom out as he grew old enough to realize how hard she was working to provide for them and keeping a steady meat and fish supply came naturally to him.

During one of his trips to visit his aunt, however, his life was changed forever. While walking back to her house from scouting some private fishing spots, he was attacked by a werewolf. Luckily for him, a hunter named Mary Winchester was already tracking the werewolf and saved his life before he could be seriously injured or killed. Instantly, Asa was enamored by the young woman who was a superhero in his eyes. While she drove him back to his aunt's, he asked her a lot of questions about hunting. Only ten at the time, he had already found his calling and life and vowed that nothing would stop him from saving people from the monsters he now knew existed. He picked up a paper route when he returned home and a real job as he got a little older to invest in martial arts classes to help with self-defense.

Since he had always been so close to his mom, the secret of the supernatural wasn't something that he could keep from her. It took a lot of convincing, as she was a rational person assuming that his imagination had gotten the best of him. However, his insistence and obsession with scouring the papers and spending time in the library reading books about monsters soon was enough to convince her. Concern for his safety flared when he let her know that he planned on hunting himself, but no matter what she tried to steer him away from it, Asa was only more insistent that it was what he meant to do. They finally came to an agreement that he would need to finish high school and then his life decisions could be his own. Reluctantly, Asa skated by in school and focused on having fun with friends and starting to chase after girls in his spare time, taking those years to build up his knowledge about all things supernatural.

The day after graduation, he left for his first real hunt and the life really took him over. Asa always made time to visit his mom and help her with things around the house between each case, but he was constantly out on the road. Over the years, he met many other hunters and started to gain notoriety from his knowledge and skill levels. When he found out about Harvelle's Roadhouse, the joint became a regular stop in his rounds, since he often traveled to the US to take cases. During his hunting adventures, Mary Winchester never left his mind. He asked other hunters about her but never got any information about her. Instead, he detailed his experience through letters on the back of a series of postcards addressed to her that he kept at home, in hopes that one day he could meet her and she would be proud of him.

Early on in his career, he took down five wendigos in one night and this became the infamous story that most hunters knew him for. Many believed him to be exaggerating, but he always insisted it was the truth. Friends of Asa's made the mention of wendigos into a drinking game, taking a shot every time that Asa mentioned them. A few years into hunting, his visits to his mom started to dwindle a bit as the years grew on. She grew more resentful of the life he had chosen for himself when he had shown up with injuries. Instead, he often visited other hunters to work cases with them in the areas they were based out of and spent most of his nights drinking or picking up women. The life of the party, other hunters would tell you that there never was a dull moment with Asa. He invented his own drinking game, shotgun or shtriga, and was up for pushing the limits of having fun for his hunting comrades, finding it necessary to shake off the darkness they were witness to.

Life changed again for Asa when one of his one night stands called him to let him know that she was pregnant. Asa panicked as he never had a father figure in his life and a large part of the reason that he never pursued a committed relationship with anyone was because he felt that others deserved more stability than he could ever give them. Tasha Barnes was a witch, which complicated matters further but she insisted she didn't expect anything from him and was happy to raise their child herself. She ended up giving birth to twins that she named Alicia and Max. Asa didn't want his mother to be disappointed in him or compare him to his father for not settling down to at least live nearby the kids and help raise them, so he never told her about their existence. Tasha and Asa both agreed that keeping the twin's lineage a secret was essential to their safety since they were witches and he was a hunter. He did, however, make an effort to visit a few times a year on top of birthdays and holidays to try to keep a bond with his kids, though he believed they deserved a lot better than him.

Not too long after they were born, a demon that he had exorcised in the nineties had managed to escape hell again in 2002. The demon possessed a woman that he had allowed himself to get closer to than most and killed her and her daughter before Asa could save them. This pushed Asa's opinion of himself down further and made him vow never to let himself to get too involved in another woman's life as it clearly spelled disaster for them. Not only did he was not good enough for a woman to settle down with, it was also dangerous to be romantically involved with him. The demon, whom he learned was named Jael started to make his life a living hell, leaving bodies hung in the forest for him to find to remind him of the woman he couldn't save when he exorcised it the first time. A lot of Asa's time was spent tracking Jael with friends, but he took other cases and time for himself when the trail ran cold.

About a year after he befriended Jody Mill's after he called him out on his alibi working a case in Sioux Falls, Asa and his best friend Bucky Sims got a major lead in tracking down Jael. The two traversed a forest where a body had recently been found and though Asa did not have a powerful weapon, he was ready to find a way to kill the demon and end the cycle. Bucky was nervous and voiced concern over tracking the demon, insisting that they needed to turn back and gather their bearings before going after a demon so powerful. Asa was enraged because killing Jael had been his main objective since he had come back with a vengeance against him and called Bucky a coward. The trail of bodies Jael was leaving behind needed to end. However, Bucky shoved Asa in the argument and Asa fell onto the rocks and died instantly. Bucky, ashamed of what he had done and unable to let others know that he accidentally killed Asa staged his body to look like Jael had killed him and took all of Asa's things to Lorraine's home.

[lillie98]

Rewriting Mike’s Speech

I’ve been thinking about Mike’s speech and what it really means. As I saw someone else say, Mike is not lying to El, he’s lying for her. He’s realized that she no longer needs him, but he desperately needs her. She is his hope, his salvation. Without her, he is nothing. He’s terrified to lose her and face his demons alone, and he knows the rest of the Party feels the same way. They can’t let their Hope die. I’ve copied the original text and added my annotations in blue. I hope they shed some light on his words and help you see Mike in a new light. 💙

"El? I don't know if you can hear this but... if you can, I want you to know I'm here. Okay? I'm right here. And I love you. El, do you hear me? I love you.”

[Please don’t leave me, I can’t bear to live without you. I tried for a year and nearly killed myself. And I do love you, just not in the traditional sense. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. Because I do, I love you so much it hurts me. Even though you say you love me, too, I see in your eyes that you don’t mean it. You were trying to break up with me in the pizza shop and honestly, I was, too. But we’re both scared of what breaking up means, especially for Will, so I’m covering for you. I hope that’s okay.]

“I'm sorry I don't say it more, it's not because I'm scared of you. I'm not. I've never felt that way, never! But I am scared that one day you'll realize you don't need me anymore. And I thought that if I said how I felt it would somehow make that day hurt more.”

[I take you for granted. You’ve been in my life for four years, and I now expect you to fix all my problems. But I realize that’s not fair to you or me, and I’m sorry for putting you through that. You’re not a dog or a superhero here to save the day, you’re just El, and that’s okay. Do your powers scare me sometimes? Yes. But does that mean I’m scared of you as a person? No. I trust you with everything, including my life. I know you would never hurt me. I am scared though, that you’re growing up and realizing you’re way too powerful for me and that you’ll leave me behind. Please don’t leave me behind. I’m not strong enough to survive on my own. I would tell you this, but then you might actually leave me and I’m not ready for that yet.]

“But the truth is, El, I don't know how to live without you. I feel like my life started that day we found you in the woods. You were wearing that yellow Benny's Burgers t-shirt and it was so big it almost swallowed you whole and I knew, right then and there in that moment that I loved you.”

[If I’m honest, I don’t know how to believe in myself. I hate who I’ve become and I’m terrified of being on my own. There’s no way anything could ever happen with Will , so you are all I have. I can’t lose you, too. The day we found you, all soaking wet and swallowed in that Benny’s T-shirt, I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long time…hope. Hope of getting Will back, hope of closing the gate and saving Will from the Mindflayer, and hope of a normal life were these terrifying thoughts in my mind. The moment we found you, and my flashlight lit up your face, I knew I had found something special, and I wanted to hold onto it. I wanted to keep you for myself. But I know that’s selfish. It’s not what you deserve. Anyone else benefiting from your hope makes me jealous. You’re my El and you always have been. It doesn’t feel fair to share you with the world.]

“And I've loved you every day since. I love you on your good days, I love you on your bad days. I love you with your powers, I love you without your powers, I love you for exactly who you are. You're my superhero! And I can't lose you! Okay? Do you hear me? I can't lose you! You can do anything! You can fly, you can move mountains. I believe that, I really do. But right now, you just have to fight. Okay? El, do you hear me? You need to fight! You have to fight! Fight! Fight! That's it, El, fight El. Fight. Fight!" 

[That hope I talked about, you have kept it alive every day since. I called you for 353 days, remember? You are hope. You’ve kept me alive. On my good days, my bad days, with your powers, without your powers, you alone make me feel wanted. You alone make me feel like my life is worth living. I love every part of you, even the parts without your powers. I will admit, though, that I feel inadequate to you. You have freaking superpowers and I’m just some dumb nerd who fell in love with his best friend. 

Please don’t be mad at me. This is not something I chose. Things just happen sometimes and you have to follow fate where it leads. As we close the chapter on our relationship, I want you to remember that you are so special. Regardless of your powers, you are an incredibly brave, kind, and devoted friend. I am a better person for meeting you, and I can’t bear to lose you. Because, if you die, I might die, too. Please don’t make me face my demons alone. You saw what happened last time. What if I jump again and you can’t catch me? Will wouldn’t be able to live with himself if I died. I can’t do that to him. 

I fully believe you can shift the world on its axis if you want, but right now, I just need you to survive. For me, for Will, for Jonathan, for yourself, and for Max. If you can see her right now, look at her. Draw strength from her. She loves you so much and has fall apart with you. She needs you, El. Fight for her, for all of us. Please don’t leave us here alone. We can’t survive without you. Fight for us, El. Please, God, Fight!!!]

[aemiron-main]

HOUGHH GUYS so I’ve seen stuff about the Mike-Brenner parallels regarding El but I just noticed that there’s a Mike-Vecna/Henry parallel that I think is really one of the many nails in the coffin for m!leven, albeit a small one

Mike, during his and El’s fight in s4: “They’re nobodies. They’re nobodies. And you’re a superhero.” And he also talks about how she’s “the most incredible person in the world.”

Henry, to El, in her memories: “You are better than they are. Superior. That is why you frighten them.”

Mike is saying the exact same narrative that Henry said to El: that she’s superior, that she is better than others, that she is uniquely incredible. And not only that, but Vecna uses those words to draw a similarity between El and himself. The very same rhetoric that Mike tries to use to convince El that she isn’t a monster is the one that Vecna tries to use to convince her that she is like him, with him being a monster. Mike talks about el’s superiority just like Henry does. He doesn’t talk about who she is as a person, doesn’t talk about how kind or funny or merciful or empathetic she is. He talks about how much better she is than others, how she’s a superhero, just like how Vecna said she was superior.

But it’s those very qualities that make El different from Vecna: her empathy, her mercy, her kindness. The very things that Mike ignores in favour of pointing out the things that make her similar to Vecna (Henry using their powers/being ‘superior’ to compare himself and El during that memory).

And it’s no wonder why the vines are tightening during the monologue: she now is aware of those previously-repressed memories of Henry saying the same things that Mike has said. So, El, now having relived Henry telling her that she is “superior,” etc, and using that praise to point out how she and him are similar, is now hearing Mike say that rhetoric AGAIN during the pizza shop monologue. She now knows Vecna/Henry was lying at the time, and she knows that Mike is lying too. Even the stuff about Mike saying that she can move mountains draws a comparison between her and Henry (with Henry having reshaped the upside-down, has definite ‘mountain moving’ vibes, and with Henry saying to El that the two of them could reshape the world however they see fit).

And even with Mike saying during the argument “you can’t let those mouth breathers ruin you. Ruin us,” is very similar to Henry saying stuff like “Join me,” and talking about how El can’t let her feelings for the murdered kids get in the way of the two of them working together.

Vecna literally says that the reason why people are afraid of El is because she’s superior to them. If El doesn’t want people to fear her, doesn’t want to be seen as a monster, then she also doesn’t want to be superior to others.

El realized that she didn’t need Henry/Vecna, even though he claimed he saved her. Just like she realizes that she doesn’t need Mike even though he saved her in the woods.

(it’s also interesting to me how Mike talks about other people being “nobodies,” after he just finished talking about how he’s been bullied all his life- Mike has been seen as a nobody, and yet now here he is, tearing into others for being seen as one)

Mike is lying to El during their argument and during his monologue the same way that Henry lied to El. I love mike and I don’t think he’s evil or anything at ALL, but I do think that the way that he sees El is unrealistic, unfair, and incompatible with a healthy relationship between them because the way that mike sees El is the opposite of how she wants to be seen. Mike sees her the same way that Henry/Vecna sees her. Mike sees her as superior, as a superhero, as better than others. Just like Henry does. And El couldn’t make that comparison/realization until she confronted those memories of Henry via the nina project.

And just thinking about Mike’s monologue too, with all his talk of how he “can’t lose her/can’t live without her,” and “his life started the day he found her,” Mike is putting the burden on El to save him. If Mike’s life started the day he found her, then naturally it would end the day he lost her, which forces El into a position of feeling like she has to stay in the relationship to “save” Mike.

Anyway I have a lot of thoughts about this LMAO Mike and El are just so incompatible romantically and they both deserve to be happy, but I don’t think that they can be happy with eachother romantically.

[mellindi]

The Koffee Family

Since we’ve gotten an (almost) complete tour of their house, I felt it was only right to introduce the family too. 

From left to right: Jerrod, Noelle, Amari, Kole (who just aged up to a child), Brianne and special guest Flockstumorium who just won us first place at the Finchwick Chicken Fair!

A little info about them under the cut for those who are interested.

Jerrod and Noelle met one sunny afternoon at a charity event in Del Sol Valley. She was in charge of collecting donations, he was in charge of catering the food. The event was a huge success and brought in a lot of donors -- which was great for the cause but bad for lunch because there wasn’t enough food to feed everyone! With a front row seat to Noelle’s near meltdown, Jerrod sprang into action and whipped up something delicious using nothing but a conveniently placed grill and a few ingredients he happened to have on hand -- thus saving the day, Noelle’s reputation and capturing her heart. Once the event was over, she invited him to dinner which he eagerly accepted (I mean, have you seen her?) and the rest is history!

After a few years of marriage, they decided to move away from the big city and back to Jerrod’s hometown of Windenburg to start a family. They originally lived in this cute little cottage in the countryside but once they became of family of four with another on the way, that two bedroom cottage would no longer cut it so they took out a massive loan and purchased the three bedroom farmhouse down the street.

A little after they moved in tho, Jerrod pulled another superhero-save-the-day type stunt at work (as a caterer) but this time it wasn’t appreciated and he was fired! Noelle didn’t take the news too well, I mean, they have a whole family, another baby on the way and mountain of debt that her job (charity organizer) could not support on its own but he promised he would figure things out.

A few days later, on his grocery run in the next town over (Henford-on-Bagley) he came across a flyer on the town’s fairs and that’s when it hit him. They live on this huge plot of land with ample space for a farm! He could grow all of their food, practically eliminating the grocery bill, grow the best produce, raise the best animals and bake the best pies! That prize money would help with the bills and the medals would make a nice collection on the wall so this is what he would do and he did! After a season of hard work, he entered his first Finchwick Chicken Fair and won first place with our favorite rooster Flockstumorium!

[honeyandkissesxo]

feel free to completely still this idea i don’t even need credit but someone needs to write a fic where the party is staying over at mikes house and talking abt what’s to come and at some point someone (maybe lucas) reluctantly suggests that since vecna feeds of your fears and such that they should tell each other their fears so they can help each other and be stronger. everyone’s hesitant and doesn’t say anything, just looking around to see what the others are thinking. after a long pause lucas explains what he said to max about seeing patrick struggling but not saying anything, and how maybe max could’ve stayed hidden longer if she reached out and didn’t have to deal w it alone. dustin agrees, the others just give a silent small nod and he continues, telling him his fears of not being able to save max and her being in a coma that he doesn’t know she’ll ever wake from and how he thinks it’s his fault. el, on the verge of tears, reassures him that it wasn’t his fault and that she would never let max die, maybe she tells him she was there and he realises “it was you”. they hug for while before el decides to tell her fears abt being the monster that opened the gate or having to be the superhero but failing and not knowing if she can fix it this time bc she can’t fly and she can’t move mountains and she doesn’t even know if her powers are at full strength. everyone butts in w their own story of how she saved their life and how she’s such a badass and she could do anything if she wants to, someone suggesting maybe she could practice so she lifts smth up and everyone starts giggling before they eventually feel the weight of the air again “who’s next”. dustin chokes out “i couldn’t save him” and tells them abt eddie cutting the rope and leaving him, how jumping through the gate is what gave him the limp, that he didn’t get there in time and had to watch him die in his arms. the mood is incredibly somber and everyone’s in a little bit of shock bc they didn’t know that happened, but mike, with a half smile on his face and a tear running down his cheek, starts telling a story abt eddie and how he was a great guy that took in him and dustin (his little sheep) when the party was starting to drift apart and he gave them hope. they all start to cheer up a little bit but mike realises it’s his turn now. he looks down and fiddles with his hair, taking a breath and starts talking (or should i say rambling) abt how he feels like he’s never enough. how he could never save will that was always el with the ud and with the mindflayer, how he’s been a terrible friend and how he’s not good enough for el. will cuts him off and in a similar vein to in the van he reminds him he’s the leader, the heart, how he’s always the first to come up with a plan, everyone agrees and they talk abt things that wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for him. el leans her head on his shoulder and smiles up at him. everyone turns their head to will, after getting everything off their chests the air feels lighter and everyone’s feeling better. “looks like you’re the last one” dustin says lightheadedly. will tenses a little bit he feels safe so he goes on, he talks abt the nightmares and how scary it was to be possessed and to be in the ud and how he can still feel vecna and what that’s like, but that what scares him now isn’t supernatural at all and- nvm it’s stupid compared to everything else. he gets reassurance that nothing stupid, it’s okay you can tell us. but he doesn’t, he can’t, bc this will change the way everyone sees him and he doesn’t wanna lose his friends when he just got them back, and more importantly it comes w another deeper secret that certain people in this room can’t hear. so he he suggests they all get some rest, it’s late after all, and he stays up all night restless. wishing he could tell someone.

one day, after everyone’s visiting max in the hospital they all start to go home and lucas stays ofc and will decides to stay too. he’s been thinking abt that night and he decided he wants to tell someone, lucas being the best option, he was the one to suggest it in the first place and after everything w max he’ll be the one who’ll listen and not judge. after a while of silence he speaks up “do you remember that night? when we were talking abt our fears and what vecna could use against us” lucas nods, letting him continue. “i didn’t really tell you guys everything, i guess i didn’t really want everyone to know, i didn’t know… if i could be forgiven”. a look of worry and concern grows on lucas face. “why wouldn’t.. what happened? you know you can tell me anything right? i’m here”.

[syndianites]

A Queen Serves and Protects

Chapter One

Current --> Next Chapter!

Summary: Post-Style Queen, Pre-Queen Wasp.

Chloe finds the Bee Miraculous, but instead of finding an obliging, subservient Kwami, she finds the Kwami of Order and Subjugation, and Pollen is not about to let herself be used like Nooroo was.

Granted, the only danger in a teenage girl is the damage she poses to herself. Can Pollen shape Chloe into a hero? Or will she stubbornly refuse to change and remain the bitter, harsh person the city has long since known?

[My take on how Chloe's character could have developed]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The tap tap tap of nails on a desk was all Chloe could think about as she blankly stared at the board in front of her. This all was tiring. Notes were tiring. School was tiring. English was tiring. How could someone be expected to sit still and pay attention to something so boring for hours on end?

Movement in her purse reminded her that it was what good students do. Sit and pay attention. Do their own work. Put in their own effort.

Chloe grit her teeth.

Well it was too hard! Being a better person shouldn’t mean taking notes and being studious in class! It should mean saving people from getting hit by a car, or stopping people from kicking puppies, or having people look to her for inspiration! Not this boring shit.

Surreptitiously, she took a deep breath.

It was all going to be worth it, she reminded herself. If she had to sit still and be a good student and do all her work herself, it would be nothing compared to being a superheroine.

But as she grew more restless, her mind wandered towards what got her into this situation in the first place....

///////

One might have called it a stroke of luck to find a magical item on the sidewalk. Of course, after a day as shitty as that, anything positive would be considered lucky.  Such was not the case for Chloe.

She didn’t know what it was at first and had almost passed it by when she second guessed herself. It looked old, but well cared for. Most of all, the box looked priceless and a quick peek into the box showed a luxurious comb.

Her mom had walked away with a dismissive ‘Come along, Cassandra,’ which had her shutting the box and hurrying to not be left behind.

A limo ride later and she found herself back in her room, ignored by her mother and forgotten by her father as he fussed over Audrey. Typical. But sure, her mom furiously turns her dearest Adrien into a gold statue, then does the same to Chloe when she tries to help him!

Chloe pursed her lips. It’s not like Audrey would have remembered how close she was to Adrien after being away for so long. If she had, surely she would have spared poor Adrikins? Her hands tightened into fists.

Except, she was still holding something. 

The box with the comb. It had slipped her mind as she’d arrived home. Barely made a dent against the sickening feeling that curled up in her stomach as her mother hemmed and hawed, not sparing even a glance at her daughter she’d betrayed.

Which was fine. She’d been akumatized. Surely the stress and aftermath of being taken into Hawkmoth’s fold would cause her to forget about her beloved daughter. Later, when Audrey had properly taken her wrath out onto the proper people, she would come up and fuss over Chloe and ensure she was alright.

Or she’d send her daddy to do it. 

Returning her attention back to the box, she lifted the lid once more. It was a lovely shade of golden yellow, with black detailing. Upon closer look, taking in the fine detail of what seemed to be insect wings, Chloe realized that she was looking at a beautifully crafted bee comb.

She ran a delicate finger on the edge of the comb only to be met with blinding light. Cringing away, she brought her hand up to shield her eyes. When the light dissipated, she glanced up.

The box and comb clattered to the floor.

A bee was floating in front of her.

A bee with a big head, and big eyes, and arms, and a big stinger, and Oh. My. God.

She screamed.

///////

Eyes flicked towards the window to catch the dying rays of dusk. A trembling hand brought a delicate porcelain mug up to a man’s face. He finished off the now lukewarm tea and let it sit for a moment. 

Peering into the remains, he observed the major remnants of the tea leaves. Lazy, wavy lines dominated the cup, with a scattering of imperfect triangles. Finally, a grouping of mountains to one side.

Master Fu hummed in thought.

“What do you think of the fate of the Bee, Master?” Wayzz spoke up from where he sipped his own drink. 

Turning back to the nearly navy darkness of the sky, Fu replied, “We will have to see, my friend. Only time will tell us now.”

///////

“Please calm down My Queen. Surely Ladybug informed you of what you needed to know?” Pollen reassured quickly. Except, the small being felt something was off. She was floating safely in an apartment with a girl she’d never seen before, no akuma in sight or mind. Her Chosen was clearly surprised to see her.

And there was no Ladybug in sight.

Still, she kept a smile on her face.

“What are you! What do you mean Ladybug told me what I need to know? Wait,” Chloe broke off with a gasp, “Are you how Ladybug gets her powers?”

Ah, a red flag. 

Pollen was plenty aware that Ladybug had chosen her to assist in an akuma fight. If she had not been delivered by Ladybug then something must be amiss. For now, she would watch her words carefully.

“No, My Queen. But I am an ally of Ladybug,” Pollen continued. “I am here to help grant another the power to assist Ladybug and Chat Noir in their quest to defeat akumas and stop Hawkmoth.”

The girl’s eyes lit up. “Does this mean I get to be a superheroine? I knew it! I knew Ladybug would see she needed my help!”

Pollen stopped her there, “On the contrary, My Queen. With Ladybug absent it is my duty to uphold order and ensure you are a good fit to be bestowed my power. Since there is no immediate threat, I see fit to judge your character as you go about your day.”

“What!” The girl griped at her, “Clearly Ladybug knew what she was doing. If you can make me become a superhero I demand you do it!.”

There was a harsh pull in her gut and Pollen fought to bite her words back. She knew she had to obey her holder, but she also knew enough to pull through some loopholes. Poor Nooroo has been stuck in a terrible enslavement for far too long for the rest of the kwami to not prepare for such an occasion.

“You must be a good person to be a superhero, first.” The pull in her gut lessened, but remained. “If you can prove to me you are worthy of holding my power, I will make you a superhero.”

Pollen received a scoff in reply. “I am a good person! Just ask anyone at all. My daddykins always tells me I’m doing good, so why wouldn’t I be?”

The pull began to intensify again. Worry started to drum through her. If Pollen couldn’t convince this person to let her check her history first, she wouldn’t have time to find and return to Ladybug- or, at least, inform Ladybug who possessed her Miraculous.

A low, angry buzz started in her chest. A Queen never let her hive be hurt by her own actions. If she did not stop this girl now, she could harm the rest of her kind, as well as Ladybug and Chat Noir.

And, well, who was she to let that happen.

She faked a sigh, “Yes, of course My Queen. Now listen closely.” Pollen risked floating closer to the girl, who leaned in in response. For a moment, she felt bad. The girl seemed earnest enough, if conceited and arrogant. A good Queen would have these traits in modesty, just enough to benefit and little enough to avoid harm. Then the pull in her gut worsened and she chose to make her move. 

With a sweet smile, Pollen leaned forward slowly. Then she turned in a swift movement and struck the poor girl in the junction between her left arm and shoulder. The girl let out a choked screech before her body came to a full stop, paralyzed. 

Floating back so that she could be seen in full view, Pollen gave a more genuine smile. “That, my Queen, is one of my powers. Immobilization. Now,” she paused, watching the girl’s eye twitch for a split second. “You will listen to me. My first loyalty is to Ladybug. If you are not fit to be her ally, I will not allow you to use my Miraculous. From what I can tell, you stumbled upon my Miraculous by chance.”

A quiet part of her whispered that Master Fu could have had a hand in this, but she dismissed it.

“Ladybug chose me to help her with the latest akuma, and they are gone. However, I am willing to give you a chance. While I serve both my Master and Ladybug, I am my own being. If you can prove you are good enough to help Ladybug and Chat Noir, I will grant you my power to help them. If not, I will reclaim my Miraculous and return to Ladybug, telling her that you are not fit to wield any such Miraculous.”

Pollen clasped her hands behind her back and puffed up her chest, portraying an image of regality in such a small body. “So I will offer you a deal. You will not ask me to make you into a hero. You will not order me to do anything. Most importantly, you will not reveal me or my Miraculous to anyone other than Ladybug or Chat Noir, or my Master. In return, I will spend time with you to decide whether you are fit to be my holder- and if you are, I will see to it that you are trained and informed as much as I can do for you before you go into the fight with Ladybug and Chat Noir. If at any point you break this deal I will immediately take my Miraculous back and you will never be allowed to see it again.”

She lowered her eyes to look down upon the still frozen girl. “Do you accept the terms of the deal?”

The girl, for her part, didn’t move. Rather, her anger and impetulant thoughts swirled in her head. While Pollen was no Kwami of Emotion or Mind, she could feel her inner chaos. As the girl realized that she would not be set free unless she made the deal, her fire wore down.

Pollen broke out into a smile. She floated forward, ready to let her free of her grasp. This was a risk. If she didn’t accept the deal, this girl could turn the tides on her in an instant. If the girl realized she could command her to do whatever she wanted, it would be over. Just under her display of confidence, fear swam in her stomach.

But she was nothing if not determined. With a tap to the young lady’s face, she was unfrozen.

For a moment, the girl fumbled over her words,” I- you- how did you- how dare you!”

When Pollen pointedly swept down to pick up her Miraculous and floated back, the girl stopped.

In her head, her mind ran on the idea of being a hero. Being beside Ladybug. Being loved by all of Paris. Being good enough for her Mother to remember her name. This was her chance! Her chance to change everything! To prove herself! If she just said yes and passed the stupid little test, she would get to be a hero.

Besides, she could bend and break the deal if she needed to.

Brushing down her capris, the girl stood up straight. With all the dignity she learned from being the child of the mayor, she calmly spoke, “I accept your deal.”

Pollen fought down a crushing smile. Instead, she reached a paw forward to shake on it. The girl, to her credit, only eyed her a moment before giving a finger to shake.

“Excellent. My name is Pollen. For the next twenty-four hours I will be watching you go about your life as normal to determine if you are deserving of my power.”

“Well, Pollen, I am Chloe Bourgeois, Ladybug’s closest ally, I can assure you that you will find nothing but good things about me!”

////////

Above the Dupain-Cheng Bakery, a sleep-deprived girl sat up hastily working through homework as the night ticked on. Perhaps from the late hour, or her finally caving under all the stress of her life, she felt like laughing. Giggles escaped her to the alarm of a sleepy Tikki beside her.

“Marianette, are you okay?” The kwami asked in concern.

“Yeah,” Marianette stifled a laugh. “I just suddenly had the thought that something super funny happened.”

Tikki shook her head disapprovingly. “You need to sleep. Staying up this late is not good for you.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” she sighed, “It has been way too long a day after losing the Bee miraculous.”

Tikki patted her shoulder in sympathy as Marianette got up and began her bed routine.

A long day indeed.

[capesandshapes]

All You Had to Do Was Stay (Post Reveal/Pre Relationship) (4/4)

Summary:

Three years ago, Marinette revealed her identity to him. Three years ago, he promised to wait in a hotel room for her. Three years ago, she opened the door to find it empty.

Now she's expected to play nice with him, since she's the maid of honor and he's unfortunately the best man. But old habits die hard, and old feelings die harder.

"This is a wedding, not a death march, Marinette."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She took a step towards him.

And then another.

All the words that she knew had failed her, and all of the emotion in her body had left her. What could she say? What would even make sense? There was no fixing the situation, not really, you couldn’t take away three years of waiting and wanting. You couldn’t take away three years of replaying every word in your head and wondering if you said the wrong thing.

“But you’re not him,” that was all she could say, and it hit the air like a deadweight. Because Adrien wasn’t Gabriel Agreste, because he never would be. The love Gabriel had was greedy and selfish, it took and took until it tore away all that he knew, until it ruined Paris and everything inside it. But Adrien? “It wouldn’t have mattered that he’s your dad, because you’re Adrien Agreste, not him, because I would have stood by you no matter what. I wouldn’t have cared what they thought or what they said. I wouldn’t have listened to them or let them stop me. If people wanted to close doors in my face because of who I loved, I’d make new ones. If people didn’t trust me, or see me for who I was, I wouldn’t care because I would know the truth.” Another step, another mountain climbed on her way back to him. “If they hated you because of who your father was, I wouldn’t want to be around them anyway, I wouldn’t want what they had to give me. I know that you’re good. You’re so good that everyone can see it—that they would have to admit it eventually.”

She held his gaze, her hands holding onto her shoulders like that could save her from sinking—like she wasn’t so far gone under the tide of Adrien that everything she had tried to hold back for three years wasn’t already killing her. She couldn’t stop drowning; she couldn’t stop wanting him.

“Adrien, I’ve been in love with you since I was fourteen years old,” she whispered, “all of you.”

He exhaled, the low, throaty sound hitting the air.

“When you left, I…” She stopped, because he didn’t need to know, because she didn’t need to see him hurt like she had. “You broke me, and no one else has been able to put me back together since.” That was enough, that had to be enough for then.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, the words almost lost to the crashing of the waves outside.

She shook her head. Maybe she needed the apology, maybe someday she’d want it, but then, at that very moment? She was the only person who could give herself what she needed, the only person who could pull her head above water.

She tugged her hands from her shoulders, and walked closer, far too close to him. It was the lack of distance she would have dreamed of when she was in school, the kind that led to moments she cherished such as placing her head on his shoulder or reaching across his lap to hold his hand. It was the proper distance to look him in the eyes, the proper distance to say what she should have said before.

“Adrien, I would wait three more years for you, fifty if I had too—because I’m so stupidly in love with you, I’ve been so stupidly in love with you.” She inhaled, looking up at him, taking in those beautiful green eyes, “all I want to know is, are you still in love with me too?”

And maybe she would have gotten the answer she wanted. Maybe she would have finally kissed him. Maybe that would have been the start of their happily ever after—

Had Lila Rossi not stumbled into the cabin with Kim’s hand on her ass and her fingers laced in his hair.

“God, you are so fucking lucky I’m horny right now,” Kim muttered.

And just like that, all the romance left the air.

And though she wanted to ask, to drag him out on the deck and demand it, she saw that look in Adrien’s eyes and she knew.

He was terrified.

And really, who wouldn’t be? Who wouldn’t be scared? Who wouldn’t worry about what the future held?

So, she laughed. An empty, loud sound, one enough to break any tension. And, not knowing what else to do, she ran. Because maybe not knowing was better than the truth.

--------------------------------------------

"This is a wedding, not a death march, Marinette,” Alya said, frowning at the reflection of Marinette in her mirror.

Honestly, if it wasn’t Alya, Marinette might have gotten by. Anyone else would have believed her fake smile as she looked in the mirror, applying her makeup.

But Alya? Being her best friend, she was in the business of reading Marinette’s emotions. Marinette couldn’t get anything by her, she was surprised that she somehow managed to hide being Ladybug from her for so long.

“It’s your wedding, Alya, am I not allowed to be sad that I’m losing my best friend?”

“To your other best friend?” Alya asked. She could have at least hidden her skepticism.

“It’s your wedding,” Marinette repeated softly. As in, it’s your wedding, not my problem parade. It’s your day, not mine. Don’t worry about me.

“He’s just over in the next room,” Alya said, reading her mind.

“It’s been a month,” Marinette repeated, shutting down the plan before Alya could even begin to form it. “If he wanted to respond, he would have done it by now.”

“I’m just saying.” She was not just saying. She was suggesting in that Alya way that wasn’t really a suggestion, but rather a demand. “I’m sure if you vanished for just one minute, I could get Nino to pull him out in the hallway and you could get your answer.”

“Alya.”

“I’m just saying.”

“Focus on your wedding,” Marinette commanded.

Alya scoffed. “Right. And how am I supposed to enjoy said wedding knowing that my best friend is miserable waiting for a response that, if she doesn’t go and demand it, might not ever come?”

“You could look at your groom and be happy about spending the rest of your life with him?”

“Oh please, I would choose you over Nino anytime.”

She didn’t doubt that.

“Listen,” Marinette began, putting down her make up brush. “I’m going to be fine; I promise. I’m just going to get some air.”

“Sure,” Alya said with a roll of her eyes as Marinette got out of her chair and moved to the balcony door. “I’ll see you when you’re done having your fifth mental break down and finally want to talk, Marinette.”

Damn, she was good. Marinette sighed, turning the deadbolt before looking back at her friend’s knowing expression, the other bridesmaids busying themselves in the background. “Thank you,” she said, because she wasn’t about to deny it, not to Alya. And maybe, once she got it out of her system, she would talk to her. Maybe once it was all over, she would tell Alya everything.

But at that moment, all she needed was air. And so she went, pulling open the balcony door of the hotel room and letting the night air cool her skin. She let go of the handle, letting it click shut behind her as she walked further onto the balcony, the streetlights of Paris gleaming far in the distance.

It was times like this that she missed being a superhero. She wondered what Paris would look like then, sprawled out in front of her years later. Brighter, probably, the city had changed since Ladybug left.

“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” A voice said, and she was sure that it had said it to her a thousand times before. The words were so familiar in that voice, said in the same inflection at the same volume that she had heard growing up. “It’s ours,” she was sure he’d only said that once or twice before—on the nights when it felt like there was no one else and the city belonged to them alone.

“It’s Paris,” she corrected, just as she had before. Because there was no owning it. It was this living, untamable thing, a treasure for her to protect.

For them to protect, because there he was, standing out on his own balcony, looking at the city like it was far more beautiful than the stars.

Not Adrien, not at that moment. Just as she wasn’t Marinette, not when thinking of Paris. Chat Noir and Ladybug, the heroes of the city, both standing out in their civilian forms, looking over it once more.

There was so much distance between them, and yet it felt like he was right there. At any moment he would leap, clad in his black leather cat suit, and stand right beside her. That was how the story should have ended; if it couldn’t end with a kiss, then it should have ended with Chat Noir and Ladybug, together again.

But Tikki and Plagg were far away in a box in Nepal.

“I came out to get some air,” he said, not turning to look at her.

“Me too.”

“Do you remember when we used to sit on your roof and watch all the cars go by?” He asked, and she could only smile. How could she forget?

Things were so easy when the masks were on.

“We have half an hour,” Marinette informed him. “Then the wedding starts and we start walking. We should go inside.”

“We should,” he agreed. Neither made to move. Neither wanted to move.

She caught him staring at her out of the corner of her eye. Never mind the fact that she was staring too. She wished then, like she had so many times before, that she knew the right thing to say.

“What if we didn’t?” He asked, like it wasn’t this crazy, completely irrational thing to do. Like there weren’t so many people in the rooms behind them waiting on them. “What if we didn’t go at all?”

“It’s not even your wedding,” she said, turning to face him entirely. “Or mine.” He grinned anyway, sauntering over to the side of his balcony nearest her, leaning on the railing. “Don’t you think that would be rude?” They had been chosen for a reason.

“What do a best man and maid of honor even do anyway?” Adrien fired back, raising his eyebrows at her. “Past all of the party planning that we’ve already done, there’s just speeches and toasts ahead of us. I don’t think either of them want us reading our speeches, I planned almost every word of mine to embarrass Nino.”

She frowned, wishing she was able to resist it, but meeting him on the side of the balcony beside herself. He was so close that she almost thought she could leap. “And what would we do?”

“Stay here forever, find a way off this roof, run—Your pick, really,” he said, as if it was that simple. As if they could leave. It was her best friend’s wedding. “I know Andre’s stand closed years ago, but maybe if we’re lucky there’s another icecream man in Paris running around at night. I bet there’s one outside of the Eiffel tower, if you wanted to revisit old times.”

“And why would we do that?” She asked. This stupid, awful part of her was considering it.

“Because Nino just told me that he wanted me to be happy and that was one of the most important things to him today, and I bet Alya just told you the same thing,” he said. “But we’re not happy.”

“And?”

He looked at her like she was stupid. Maybe she was. He’d been out there longer than her, she could tell by the pink of his cheeks, maybe some great clarity had befallen him in that time, and he’d realized that she actually wasn’t all that bright. “Come over here,” he said.

“I am not coming over there.”

“Then I’m coming over there.”

“You are not coming over here!” Marinette declared, slightly astounded. “People are changing!” He didn’t seem to care all that much. “We’re not all models, some of us have shame!”

He laughed. Fuck, his laugh. She’d forgotten how good it was. “Meet me in the middle then,” he said, hauling a leg over his guardrails before she could protest. “I want to be closer to you.”

She was going to die because of him, she was sure, even if he was sitting oh so comfortably on his own railing. With her luck, she’d slip then fall to her inevitable doom. She could only hope that the bushes below her were soft.

“There,” he said once she’d settled, kicking out so that his foot lightly tapped her leg to prove his point, “Closer.” This was obviously some elaborate scheme to kill her that he had spent the last three years planning.

Almost as soon as she sat down, she began to second guess it. The voice in the back of her head was screaming for her to get up and go back to the suite. She could see the girls in the hotel getting ready to leave, Rose hauling up Juleka’s dress and Mylene reapplying Alix’s eyeshadow. She knew she should have left, sitting out there dangling herself over the edge of a building with Adrien wasn’t the best idea. She was supposed to be in there, taking care of things, fixing dresses and calming down nerves. But then there was Alya at the door, her face lighting up as she looked out at her, craning her neck just enough to see Adrien. She didn’t look like she missed her, only like she wished she could stay a moment longer.

She had to see it out for Alya, if only so there was finally an end to it all, a yes or no to the Adrien situation. Then she could be better, the kind of friend Alya deserved, one who wasn’t stuck in the past. Then she could dance at the reception with Nino’s cousins, and faun over men with Alya who weren’t blond supermodels.

“I know I should have told you that night,” Adrien said, drawing her back in. “And I did try to. Actually, I should have told you many nights ago, years even, but I don’t even know how to start now.” She closed her eyes, things like this were easier to take when you didn’t have to look. “I don’t regret disappearing, Marinette.”

There it was.

“But I do regret not taking you with me,” he said, and her eyes flew open.

If she hadn’t been holding on for dear life, she might have fallen off the balcony.

“Not just now,” he clarified, because it felt like a split decision. “But before too, so many times before. From the moment I left, I knew that I wanted to turn back, but I kept telling myself that I was doing the right thing. Over and over again, this is for Marinette. Marinette will move on. It didn’t matter if it hurt, you would be okay.”

“But I wasn’t.”

“You weren’t,” Adrien agreed. “I’m going to sound like an awful person, but I was happy about that. I was way too happy,” he admitted. “And this isn’t going to fix anything, this isn’t going to give you those three years back, this isn’t going to solve the problem an empty hotel room caused, and this won’t bring back Tikki and Plagg—But I’m asking you for just one second to give me this chance. I’m asking you to make the dumbest mistake of your life with me; to leave this party and everyone in it, to walk Paris again like it’s our city to own. For just one night, even though your body will practically ache with stupidity, disappear with me. Leave them all to wonder where we went, how even years later we always seem to miss things. Because I love you, even when you’re just walking on the sidewalk beside me and not saving the day, you’re my everyday Ladybug. Because I just want those moments back where it’s just you and I, and no one else knows who we really are.”

“And who are we, Adrien?” She asked. “The two biggest idiots in Paris?”

“A team,” he said, “amongst other things.”

---------------------------------------------

Epilogue:

Alya Lahiffe was dancing with her newly obtained husband when she saw it, a flash of red and black over the hotel garden wall. Her hands tightened around his neck as she took it in, a woman in a red bridesmaid dress and a man dressed in all black sprawled out in a heap on the ground, laughing after having practically tumbled over the brick wall surrounding the venue. They both looked from side to side, their noses nearly colliding with each other as they turned, both lighting up in laughter as they assumed the coast to be utterly clear and them to have snuck back into the party without anyone realizing.

“You okay, hun?” Nino asked as he looked down at her, taking in her expression.

“Yeah,” she grinned, watching as Marinette left only a peck on Adrien’s nose, resulting in the young man’s outrage. “I think I am.” She turned them, letting Nino see as Adrien reached for Marinette once more, dragging her down to kiss him.

“The absolute worst best man,” Nino chuckled, looking away as he pressed his forehead against Alya’s.

“And the most seasick, lovelorn maid of honor,” Alya said. “It’s a wonder they got anything done.”

“I give them a year before we get to pay them back, and we’re not skipping the ceremony. We’re giving bad speeches and throwing the bachelor party on a boat, doing the cupid shuffle—the whole nine yards.”

“And letting Marinette’s dad overload them with cake?”

“If he forgets any, we’ll just have to pull the samples out of our freezer.”

[hunterartemis]

Media Bias (Avengers X Alien!Reader)

It was a request from anonymous reader and since I have limited experience with tagging, I am going to quote the person’s request here:

“ Hi can you please do Avengers x reader where the reader is like Starfire from og teen titans (but the reader is green and the blasts are blue) and the Avengers go on a talk show and the host is being very mean to her. Thanks”

So, dear anonymous. I hope you enjoy!“

Words: a whopping 4100

Y/n, open the door” I heard Sam thudding away on my door as I buried myself in the layers of blanket and put the air condition humid enough to cause a mini monsoon.

“Go away Wilson and leave me alone--” I bellowed on top of my voice.

“Y/n it’s been more than 7 hrs, you got to come out... whatever happened in the morning you gotta let it go--”

“I don’t wanna let it go... I am a national embarrassment--”

You must be thinking, what is the situation you’ve been dragged into. Let me pause there and rewind 17 hours back to give you a complete understanding which lead to this complete mess.

People think our story ended and sealed with Thanos never got to see what we go through in the New York penthouse. With the ongoing Pandemic on board, people are desperate to see us even more, as if it is the new Thanos and we are to defeat it. There is no greater sense of helplessness than playing the puppet of courage without doing anything. So whoever wrote that “after the defeat of big bad, the heroes rejoice” was a big idiot.

And thus, I found myself awake after hours, sitting alongside the broad glass panel that showed the completely stopped-in-time, shining in the dark cityscape of once bustling New York. A fleeting sense of desolation plagued me as I remember my own world in the verge of extinction. My breath almost stopped in the great worry of my fellow living being in this planet; the one who saved me from destitution--

 “y/n, is that you?”A calm and concerned paternal voice broke the train of my thought. I sharply looked behind my shoulder to see a disheveled figure of man standing in the dark. By the tousled curls and the slouched hem of the sweatpants, I knew was Bruce.

“Urh, you startled me!” I said with a dismissive voice. I felt almost embarrassed to realize what I was thinking moments ago. I took a deep breath and tried to compose myself.

“It’s you who startled me y/n, what are you doing up so late?” Bruce said with a groggy voice rubbing his eyes rather irritatingly. “We have an important event to attend tomorrow first thing in the morning” he slowly moved towards from the shadowy part of the room to the path of dimmed light from the glass panel and spared a long glance at my face. The way he looked at me sometimes irritated me, because it was an inalienable fact that he fell into the same category of humans who express an unhealthy obsession with my kind: a scientist.

“It’s not like I enjoy staying up like you Lowly Human...I am as stressed for tomorrow as you are!” I tore my face from his ken to express my displeasure. In reply, he sighed disappointedly, which sounded patronizing in my already agitated mind.

“I wish you’d stop insulting my specie whenever you get upset...” he gently put his hand in my shoulder, but soon he withdrew and stepped back. “And what is that god-awful smell?”

Any female whether she is human or not is very sensitive to criticism, especially about how she appears, thus Bruce’s comment was not only offensive but hurtful as well. I could not restrain my anger and annoyance anymore, and I stood up sharply to face him “I just happen to wet myself in the rain yesterday at my detour downtown and it turns out it has too much sulphuric acid and it is peeling my skin away... right before when I am about to go up close on television.”  My hand subconsciously moved up to my cheek, where flakes were forming in my otherwise jade smooth skin. “And you are telling me to stop insulting your specie... I will when you unicellular cretins will stop ruining your own environment—“ I folded my arms defensively, gazing away from Bruce’s face “--as if I don’t get ridiculed enough for my chrorophyllic skintone, and now I am shedding like a common reptile.”

“Alright alright I am sorry...” Bruce threw up his arms defensively, and his small paces back and forth showed his discomfort more than anything, “do you want something for your skin, CeraVe or something? I can fetch you some ice if you want?”

His apologetic gesture made my whole effort defeated; but my pride disrupted me from being apologetic “Forget it... as if those human manures would work on my skin—“ I heaved a sigh and looked at him again “must we do the thing? I mean I am not the only alien that set foot on earth in this decade, why must I be walked around like a showdog in front of all the people?”

For some moments Bruce did not answer me. I almost thought he was ignoring me, but then I realised that he must be contemplating on every word he wanted to say and every word that was running through his brilliant mind. Out of anyone in the team, Bruce was the visual hole, the less than heroic material: even with the Hulk. And for this, the society made sure that he would be self conscious for the rest of his life for his other identity. My annoyance almost melted to sympathy when I heard him speak in a rather frustrated voice.

“Y/N, I know that you are stressed about this and frankly I hate this stuff too, but this is very important for the people: for your people as well as ours. Not all things that come from the space are benign and people need reassurance that you are not hostile. I hate this too, but it is for the greater good!”

“Greater good, greater good... it is always for the greater good!”  The same old daily whining of lofty agenda made me sick “I am sick and tired of these Brucie, I don’t want to do this anymore... I am tired about people asking me weird questions and cretins posing as scientists trying to push probes on me the first chances they get-- I wish I could just disappear with the portal that brought me in this cursed place!“

Bruce came closer and grabbed my shoulders gently “Don’t say that y/n... otherwise we wouldn’t have the means to counterattack all those aliens—“ my silence might have given him the cue that he wasn’t doing a very good job at convincing. His wavering eyes fixed on my face once again as he spoke “okay, here is a deal: how about it is the last time you appear in public, hm? Once you satisfy them that you are part of the team, I swear people will leave you alone... they left the Hulk alone too once they understood that he is one of the good guys!”

“No but...“

“No ifs and buts... go, and have some sleep. Let me look in the lab if we have some squalanes and peptide solutions lying around—“ he said with a paternal affection and disappeared into the dark passage which lead to his room

“Thanks Brucie you are the best—“

I couldn’t help but to smile a little. Humans!

...

“This is a bad idea I am telling you--“ I told Bruce with an hushed tone as the makeup artist went on with a puff on my face for the millionth times. The rest of my team was behind me, getting the same attentions to their dismay. I could tell Bucky was downright uncomfortable as his makeup artist had a hard time getting not distracted by his bionic arm; and Wanda was downright glaring at the man who kept flicking the brush on her nose.

“relax y/n, you are smart and you are friendly, you are going to ace this and trust me people are going to love you--“ Bruce said with gritted teeth to make sure no one could tell what he was saying. He almost flinched as some of the powder made into his nose and the makeup artist followed him up with a q-tip.

“My face is itchy...“ I whispered again, trying not to gouge my face out with my nails as the powder sat on the flaky part of the cheek. If this wasn’t a studio I would have scratched my face like a lunatic and ended up as someone who was attacked by a bear in the mountains. And I was glad that I was standing beside Bruce who knew how not to go overboard with the things. Clint would have brushed them off, Wanda and Bucky would have panicked, and Sam’s gestures no matter how genuine would have made me laugh.

“Wanda already told the makeup artist to spray you with Squalane, your face isn’t half as bad as it were yesterday night“ Bruce then went on politely gesturing the makeup artist to spray the stuff Bruce brought from the lab in a clear bottle, and the look on the Makeup Artist’s face was between annoyance and bursting into tears.

“Brucie...“ “I don’t wanna mess it up--“ I said nervously as we walked into the couch and settled with the others.

“Trust me you won’t... “ Bruce graciously consoled me.

The cameraman cued and we were all gestured to look into the main camera as the lights in front of us adjusted accordingly. Within all hustle and bustle, the host walked in like a royalty, and by the looks of his face and those following him with makeup and refreshment, he had a really bad morning.

“We will go on air in 3, 2 and 1”

“Good Morning America, this is your host Justin Fallon and welcome to another episode of The Early Show. Today we have with us some really special guests. You might know them from News, the murals, the comics and the Merchs please welcome our own global superheroes: The Avengers. Welcome to our show” the host said with an uncomfortable friendliness and turned towards us.

"Thanks for having us with you" Sam answered graciously, with a little awkwardness. I could understand why; it was always Tony, Steve and Natasha who spoke in public. After such a terrible loss, he is struggling to fill up their shoes for the sake of our public image. He had been wrapped up into a pretty bad controversy recently for succeeding as Captain America and it had a pretty bad toll on him—to the point his speech kind of went from cheerful to composed in an unnatural way.

 "It’s been way too long since our morning couch looked so colorful and it surely brightens up the day.” The host said with an obligatory politeness. Although the term was innocent enough but it seemed not so—I instantly froze up and million things started flying inside my head: was I looking good enough, is my patches showing under the layers of power and squalane. Turns out it was not me alone. From the corner of my eye I could sense the tension behind me from Clint and Bucky and I know it was different than mine. The host must have wanted the old team, and looked like he was stuck with the mediocre leftovers.

“Thank you...“ Sam replied.

“So here you guys are after averting the big wipeout crisis, in the quiet and chilling, so how does it feel to be in the pensive from being hyperactive all the time?“

“Well, at first it did feel kind of boring and lack luster, but slowly we are adjusting to it. With the ongoing Pandemic crisis I think we just have to adjust to the situation. In a way, I think we are all helping each other by staying inside and recuperating.” Sam answered diplomatically.

“That’s so nice” the interviewer said quite curtly and then changing the topic he sharply turned to Doctor Banner “I know of all you people Dr. Banner will find this Lockdown Leisure slightly more comforting, isn’t that so Doctor Banner?”

Wait, what was that? Was that even normal? Sam was sitting in the front and after him Bucky, then Wanda and then Bruce. Should not he come gradually? Breathe... maybe I am reading too much into this. Keep a friendly face, don’t think too much... the entire nation is watching... this is the one time I have to do things right! It’s for me, my team who housed me and my people.

I had to give props to Bruce for managing things calmly despite his claims about public speaking. He politely replied “Well theoretically it should be but it’s not like causes of anger cannot exist within the so called peaceful environment if you think about it, but I am glad you showed your concern” and like a pro, reached out to the glass in front of him to sip some water—like some real celebs in talk shows.

“Isn’t that true! So Solaris, how does it feel to be surrounded by the icons of the earth?”

I wasn’t really ready for the sudden attention. For a second I blanked out completely and gaped my mouth like a complete idiot. My stupefied face must have been quite prominent because the host tried to laugh it off lightly to divert the attention. I am still wrapping my head around the fact how some humans work so beautifully under so much attention—If I could choose between blasting off alien armies and speaking in talk shows, I will take the aliens instead.

“I..I--It’s quite fun... there is never a dull moment with them--“ I manage to utter, and thankfully it wasn’t a gurgling sound from a deep abyss.

“The thing is, being the most newest member, you sort of have a mystery around you, the kind of a Blue Comet sort--“

“Oh thank you— “ great going me, like a real talk show celeb—keep it up!

“So why don’t we break that down... Solaris, is that true that you came from a whole another galaxy which is not Milky Way?” the Talk show host asked, reading from a small piece of card.

Finally, something I can talk about all day: stars, planets and galaxy. I will have to slay this, I chanted inside and replied after drawing a breath “Yes that’s true. I am from Planet Auriga from Pleiades system. Our Sun is Alcyone, the second brightest star right after Aldebaran. You people call our system Taurus Constellation--” 

“--so much astrophysics, take notes kids they might ask you at the NASA interview.“ the talk show host interrupted. It annoyed me greatly because I could finish the words I worked so hard to speak confidently. So that’s how Bruce must feel all the time when people interrupted him when he explains things. However the host went on as if nothing happened “For a near human creature in this planet, do you identify more with the Professor X’s troop or with the Avengers?”

Near human creature? My race is literally the most Superior in all of galaxy.

“I don’t really understand what you mean...” I said as politely as I could manage.

“I mean isn’t it hard to fit in when you are the only alien in the group--“

The flippant remark was rude and I tried not to wrap my head around it. I recalled Bruce’s words to keep cool and maintain a neutral face replied : “I mean I am not the only one, Thor is also not of the earth and he is a darling to be around. Alien or not I think I have learned a lot about myself and the ways of earth by spending time with this wonderful people?“

I could hear the audience clapping and cheering with my reply. A surge of pride swept across my chest and I smiled slightly at the audience.

“How sweet--“ the host said, keeping with the cheerful mood “as the outer world people are coming into the planets, we think a lot of things are shifting, do you find it hard to cope into the earth from where you come from--“

Finally, a thoughtful question, I made a solid eye contact with the host and replied “No, the atmosphere is pretty much the same in Auriga, but I think humans can do a lot better taking care of the environment. I know for a fact that millions of planets and their lifeforms were extinct because of excesses I see on earth.”

The thoughtfulness of the host was only for so long “The girl’s been around... if you know what I mean—“ he commented with a little wink, and from the audience’s laugh I knew he didn’t mean something polite or mildly positive. After the laughter subsided, he turned again to me “I dig the midnight blue hair... it is so contradictory and yet it works“ he complimented “because you know scale and hair are not something we see very often in our planet--“ 

Excuse me, what was that supposed to mean?

“--so tell me are the lapis cascades all natural? I mean they are not dyed at all?”

“No they are not... the special keratin bond that reflect the blue pigment of the natural light but they are actually transparent—“ I added objectively.

“So that means in the right lighting you don’t need to mow the bush—“ the host said with a curved smile on his lips, and the audience went on laughing in the same manner they did moments ago.

Even under the blowing airconditioner, I started t feel really warm around my neck “I really don’t know what you mean; you are making any sense at all! Do you guys need special light to mow the bush, do you do in the solstices or during the eclipses—“  this time I didn’t hide the fact that I was annoyed.

“--she is really really funny you guys--“ the host again smiled and acted like I was a stone wall and my reaction didn’t register in his mind at all. “So you are saying you don’t mow your bush at all?“

“I live in a New York Penthouse, there is no bush--“ honestly if this wasn’t a dumb talk show, I would have taught this impudent human a lesson.

The host looked a little uncomfortable as our eye contact lasted for several seconds. He cleared his throat and went on “Okay you guys, she just clarified that there is no bush, so let’s move on to your...your look... I am so fascinated by it, it’s so reptile chic--“

What’s your fascination with cold blooded animals? Are you asking to die like one?

“Um, thanks...?!”

“So how do you manage to maintain this--“

That was honestly the last straw. This host is impolite and rude and he leeches off the discomfort of his talk show host. When this realisation hit, all my self-control and self preservation went out of the window. The vacuum was replaced by the sheer annoyance towards the host who deliberately mistreated us since the beginning.

“Do you think that’s how I live, maintaining my skin and mowing the bush--“ my pitch rose from my previous composed tone “I mean what kind of questions are these?“

The host was still wearing his phony smile on his face, but I could see the colour slightly draining off his face “No I was just asking, because the audience wants to know--“

“I think the audience is smart enough to understand that they cannot get the green skin on natural blue hair, so can you move on to a more sensible question?“ I answered heatedly and defensively at the same time, and as I spoke I felt the aura of tension shifting from discomfort to sheer panic.

“Y/n... don’t do this--” I heard Bucky whisper very faintly from above.

“Solaris, don’t get me wrong, but we don’t always get a green-skin hottie on the morning couch, don’t be offended!” he said while he gestured covertly to cut the camera on the other side. I have to give this man an applause , I could tell he had busted all his courage but he kept the face of nonchalance too good to be true—no wonder he sat on this chair for so long.

“What’s your obsession with the skin colour?—“ I said heatedly as I stood up from my seat “Don’t you dare cut the camera... don’t you dare! Do you think you humans are the epitome of beauty from which point everyone in the galaxy should confirm? I am sick of this... Everyone, I am so sorry for your wasted time but no more of this!”

“Solaris--“ this time it was Sam’s voice that implored me from the sides. For a split second I felt bad for him, because as Captain America, he would have to take the heat from the public. But I was at the point of no return. If I back out now, I would be called a pushover and I would have to endure that image for the rest of my life in the earth.

“You know what, as you are so obsessed with my looks, I would love to show you another thing of mine that is blue--”

Blast

So long story short, Solaris goes to a morning talk show, Solaris encounters a rude host and Solaris blasts him with her Blue Sun Beam. Biggest disaster ever!

The thudding outside the door would not stop, and honestly their over attention was getting on my nerves “honestly, why don’t you go away... what are you, my royal nanny?”

“Very funny Solaris... now come out and get some food--” this time it was Bucky who spoke. Although he was the shortest to reply, but it made me well up. He had the shittiest history amongst all of us: hunted, betrayed, manipulated and now sidelined—how can I see my problems bigger than him.

 “How can I... I ruined everything, all the reputation you built throughout the year, I blew it up within 3 minutes, how can I show my face to you guys! I was supposed to be the superior being--“

A moment of silence followed. But then the old familiar calm voice spoke from the other side

“y/n... It’s not about superior or inferior, you were just very very honest with your feeling! sometimes it’s good for the public, sometimes it is not. I mean look at me--I have struggling with my anger all my life and god knows the stuff I have wrecked in Hulk state. It’s okay to make a mistake... no one blames you!”

“Ha ha right...“ I replied sarcastically, feeling mad about how well Bruce understood my situation.

“Honestly, the way you acted today... Tony would have been proud!”

I could not hold myself anymore. All the feeling that has been plaguing me until now: embarrassment, guilt, confusion, sadness... all came down like a thundering rain with that one statement. I rushed and slammed the door open and jumped on Bruce to embrace him into a tight hug. At first I could tell Bruce was taken aback, but soon his firm arms snaked under my back to hold me tightly.

“I am so sorry... I ruined you all--“ I hid my face in Bruce’s shoulder. Suddenly I felt a gentle pat on my back, I straightened up and looked, it was Sam. His awkward cautionary expression was gone and he looked cherry as the old days “As Captain America, I cannot condone your behaviour, but as Sam... well, that jerk deserved it--“ he reached for his pocket and took out his cellphone “and hundred thousand people in New York agree with you“

I looked at him with a curious expression as he gave me his phone. When I looked at it, it was a tabloid video that had the clip of me blasting the host and it had—

“Stars in galaxies!... 100K likes?” I exclaimed

“And look down, there are comments too--” Bucky scrolled down from behind my shoulder to descend to the white space.

That jerk deserves it, he was literally harassing her...You go Solaris #MeToo

Solaris is so cool, I wish I was as cool as her.

Ugh, I hate that morning show host, if I was in her place I would have thrown him off the stark tower, #SunQueen

Racists never change, and We stan our color positive hero #SolarisRocks

Humans...

...

Okay, that took a lot of time because at first I didn’t know how to work on the request, then I had to go back and forth and rewrite most of it two times because I wasn’t convinced it was good. So I sincerely hope it’s good because I am freaked out as hell.

I also gave reader a name because she is inspired by an alien character in TeenTitans called “Starfire”. So I call her Solaris, and was constantly reminded of Solar of Mamamoo (TMI)

I don’t hate on Fallon, I just used his name because it is recognisable by American public and I also had to see a lot of Jimmy Fallon’s show to write about the Talk Show plot. I was also greatly inspired by Naomi Campbell, RDJ and Nicki Minaj’s interviews.

[ryder616]

4, 5, 10 for the aos asks :)

thank you for asking!

4 - Favorite Scenes

May doing quick work of Russo and his agents, then strolling on the bus covered in blood like it's just another Tuesday (1x13)

Daisy's confrontation with Ward in the diner in Nothing Personal. The follow-up on the Bus, too.

Daisy meeting Cal for the first time and everything with them in that episode. (2x10)

Terrigenesis #1

Jiaying teaching Daisy to move the mountain. (2x17)

"I'm the guy who kills Gordon"

Daisy entering the frame in her then new superhero outfit in 3x01 while her theme plays.

"You did good, Tremors. You did good" (3x02)

Andrew and May in Hawaii, before everything went wrong.

Simmons pleading with Fitz to "just let [Hydra] kill her" to make sure "It" could not return from Maveth.

The Spy's goodbye for Huntingbird.

Daisy's power exit from the Playground in 3x17 (very cathartic to watch after... things).

Mack hugging Daisy after Lash had freed her from Hive.

Robbie and Daisy meeting for the first time and of course immediately fighting because that's the rule when superheroes meet for the first time, in case anyone had forgotten it's a comic book show 😁

Robbie telling Gabe the story of the Rider while Daisy is there for him, a silent comforting presence.

Skimmons' very special way of discerning humans from robots and planning their escape. (4x15)

Daisy making scrap parts out of LMDs. (4x15)

Daisy refusing the illusion of happiness Aida offers her (and the sassing that precedes it). (4x18)

Terrigenesis #2 (the first one is fantastic, but Trip dies and she's terrified. This one, she's smirking, welcomes it and May made it happen. It can hardly get better).

Coulson making the speech on tv in the Framework. The revolution is televised, after all.🤭

Robbie hanging out with Daisy while she's working to build a backdoor for Mackelena in the Framework: "But I'm here now and that's good" -- "That is good" 😍

"This must be the coolest we've ever looked" (5x01)

May cutting through the BS, destroying the odium (worst. plan. ever) and probably saving the world.

Mack hugging Daisy after she's back from the Search for Fitz.

Director Macklemore 😂

Sousa: "Some of my favorite people are people like you" Me: high five, Chief!

All the May&Daisy hugs, all the Coulson&Daisy hugs, all the Mack&Daisy hugs.

Most of the fights and most of the sass.

5 - Favorite Quotes:

"With great power comes...a ton of weird crap you are not prepared to deal with"

"Usually, one person doesn't have the solution. But 100 people with 1% of the solution? That'll get it done. I think that's beautiful. Pieces solving a puzzle."

"Being different can mean making a difference"

"Fight back. That's how you move on. Take control of your life again."

"[the end justifies the means, right?] The only people who say that are the people doing bad things."

10 - Favorite Headcanons:

Popular Daisy fanons, like running away from the foster system and the Russian hacker being a girl.

Coulson is a foodie (but that's pretty much canon). Mackelena are the best cooks alongside Coulson. Robbie is also pretty good in the kitchen. May isn't that bad, really. It's just that when she makes food, it is usually for practical purposes, something you need to do to survive, not for fun and pleasure. So, it's just kind of bland and uninspired.

At some point, Daisy visited Italy again without anything bad happening to her and had a nice time (this is important to me, ok 😁).

One of Daisy's favorite album growing up was American Idiot by Green Day.

Both her and May are cat people. They may not know it or think so, but I can tell.

Elena has a scrapbook of caricatures of all her teammates and more serious portraits as well. Because she was taking or teaching art classes and the show kind of forgot but I didn't.

Inhumans, having been genetically engineered to be weapons, have, to different degrees, a physical advantage over the average human and are more resilient. Because Daisy walks off beatings and hits that should put her out of commission for a while and sometimes it bothers me. Also, that's how it is in the comics so 🤷‍♀️

Daisy always keeps a tight hold on the full scope of her powers, especially so after Hive, and it takes extreme circumstances for her to consciously loosen it.

The reason for the prolonged fight vs Malick wasn't just stalling for #TeamEmpathy. Daisy was using his quakes to charge herself up for extra mojo in order to destroy the fleet. Like in 4x08, when she had all that energy built up from absorbing the earthquakes and had to jump high up in the sky to discharge it safely. This time she did it on purpose and discharged it...unsafely (I mean, maybe that's what they were going for in canon, but if it was, it's not very clear is it?)

Flint finally ate tacos and discovered they are way too spicy for him (they were eating pellets in the lighthouse, I'm thinking those were kinda bland and tasteless), much to Mack's dismay. He falls in love with various types of risotto instead.

AoS favorite asks

[stewblog]

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

With Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, director Sam Raimi has delivered a movie the likes of which I wasn’t sure I’d ever see within the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

There have been peaks and valleys, film-wise, ever since Robert Downey Jr.’s Tony Stark defiantly proclaimed to be Iron Man, but by and large an MCU flick is the closest the industry has to a sure thing these days. That consistency often comes at a cost, however. Save for exceptions such as Thor Ragnarok’s Taika Waititi and Black Panther’s Ryan Coogler, MCU films typically are helmed by directors who are solid, journeyman filmmakers. They do largely perfectly fine work but little in the way of a creative or authorial voice shines through for one reason or another.

So when a filmmaker with such an overwhelmingly distinct voice as Sam Raimi comes along and is a last minute replacement for a Marvel movie, my elation was subdued by a mountain of caution. When he’s firing on all cylinders, there is no mistaking the work of Sam Raimi for anyone else’s, and the cosmically weird world of Dr. Stephen Strange feels tailor-made for the spook-a-blast sensibilities of the man who brought us the likes of Evil Dead II and Darkman. The only question would be how much of that madcap energy would or even could capably shine through?

Suffice to say: All of it. This is a Sam Raimi movie through and through.

Nearly every hallmark of his work is present and in full effect. Energetic camerawork? Check. Perfectly timed jump scares? Check. Horror elements that perfectly balance moments of genuine fright with a gonzo sense of humor? Check. An impeccable sense of how to make the proceedings feel like a comic book come to life? Check. This movie moves and looks and feels like no other of its kind.

Raimi has excelled at making comic book movies (his Spider-Man 2 from 2004 remains in many ways the apex of the sub-genre). He’s excelled at horror films. But never before has he been able (allowed?) to concoct such a compelling and exquisite synthesis of the two. He came closest with Darkman, the movie that asks “What if a classic movie monster became a superhero?”, but that felt like a toe being dipped into this particular pool. With Multiverse of Madness, Raimi jumps in doing a cannonball.

In some ways, this is my ideal comic book movie. It takes well-established characters, puts them through the ringer and delivers a fun, impactful story that draws from the interconnected universe it occupies while still largely telling a self-contained story. As impressive as it’s been to watch dozens of MCU movies bob and weave plot threads and characters together, it’s nice to watch a movie that simply wants to plunge its characters through wild escapades rather than spend too much time setting up future events. It feels like a standalone issue of a Marvel comic.

In it, Stephen Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch) discovers that dreams aren’t just fabrications of the subconscious. They’re visions of what’s happening to you in an alternate, concurrent reality. So when he finds out that he didn’t dream of dying while helping American Chavez (Xochitl Gomez) a girl who can freely hop from one reality to the next, his alternate self actually did die, it’s off to the races as he desperately tries to find out how to help this scared girl who barely understands her own abilities and is pursued by a nigh-unbeatable adversary. What ensues is a non-stop ride of dimension-hopping, wild wizardry and cameo appearances that are a veritable rollercoaster in and of themselves.

It must be said that this is probably the best Benedict Cumberbatch has ever been in the role. I’ve really grown to enjoy him as Strange but Multiverse of Madness adds some much needed layers to him beyond “Smartest guy in the room who knows some sick magic spells.” Xochitl Gomez isn’t given much to do but she makes the most with what she has as America Chavez forces some unexpected growth from Strange. It’s Elizabeth Olsen as Wanda/Scarlet Witch, however, who’s the MVP. I’ll refrain from giving too many details on how she fits into the film at large, but suffice to say it’s her mental and emotional journey that is at the very heart of the film.  Wanda very easily could have been a despicable character (though understandably so, depending on your perspective) yet Olson manages to find just the right balance here.

Oh and I’d be remiss if I didn’t sing the praises of composer Danny Elfman bringing his A-game. Elfman has composed some of the greatest film scores in the history of the medium. And while he doesn’t deliver anything near as iconic as, say, his score for the Tim Burton Batman movies, it’s the best work he’s done in years as he weaves motifs in and through, augmenting moments in a way only he can.

If it wasn’t clear by now, I loved this to death. It warms my heart that Sam Raimi is back and clearly energized as a filmmaker, delivering what feels like a perfect synthesis of so many elements throughout his career thus far.

[loveofafangirl]

A Chance Encounter

[Steve Rogers Masterlist]

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC

Background: Following the events of Endgame, Steve Rogers returned to the future and gives up the mantle of Captain America. Steve moves to a secluded area in the mountains of Upstate New York, near enough the Avengers facility to lend an ear to his friends, but far enough that he had peace, or what passed for peace for him these days. He spends most of his time outside trying to keep his mind active and away from the haunting memories of his past.

Synopsis: One day, while out for a run, Steve runs further than he realizes and makes the unexpected acquaintance of a local school teacher. (Part 1)

Word Count: <1,300

Author’s Note: This only my second attempt at Steve or Marvel. The first was “To Be Held”. That one was written in second person, this one is written in the third person. Since this is new to me, I am seeing what I like best. The reader in that story is the same as the original female character in this story. “To Be Held” is later chronologically. 

Please let me know if you like it and/or if you want to be tagged in any future Steve work I try. No beta. I like to live dangerously.

The thinning leaves on the trees were not more than a mosaic blur of warm colors. His feet pounded against the soft earth as he raced through the forest, kicking up loose bits of dirt. He focused solely on what was up ahead. With every step, he tried to solidify the wall he was building up, not to keep the world out but to protect him from himself.

He had thought returning to the future would save him from the visions that had kept him up at night in the past. He was plagued by the future he knew was coming and there was nothing he could do to stop it. They would win in the end, but so much would be lost along the way. The cost of it all was higher than he imagined. He had been willing to die; but, he didn't. They did. He convinced them to help, to try to save the world; and it cost them their lives. They knew the risk, and they followed all the same. Soldiers die, he would remind himself to no avail. However, as far as he was concerned, he let them die on his watch. He should have found another way.

Faster, and faster he ran, pushing further and harder when a smell or lingering image triggered a memory. Dodging low hanging branches and jumping fallen trees, the super-soldier continued weaving a path deeper into the forest and further away from the familiar terrain, hoping to find some relief.

The warm sunlight tickled her skin. She breathed deeply, soaking up the last bits of summer. It was an unseasonably warm day. One of the last warm days before the cool breath of fall would settle on the town, leaving a kiss of frost on the grass every morning. As much as she loved the sun, the promise of cozy sweaters and pumpkin spice was almost just as appealing.

A truck honked, pulling her attention. Quickly, she threw up her hand, waving to Mr. Simmons, the town’s postman, as she crossed the street to the quiet cafe. Ordering a large iced coffee and roasted vegetable panini, she decided it was too nice to spend her lunch period inside. There was an open bench in the small town park. As the weather grew colder, she would need to eat lunch inside, but while the days were warm, she would enjoy being outside.

Everything seemed brighter now. Of course, not everyone felt that way, but she did. There were clearly complications to work out with half the planet returning after half a decade away, but it was nice to see life again.

She had intended to move away—take a job in one of those big cities, work during the day, and have adventures in the evening. She had it planned out. Then, the world turned upside down. Her already small town became smaller. Their stable economy quickly fell. There simply weren’t enough people left to keep the lights on. She saw the despair on the faces of those around her; not only had they lost their loved ones, but their town was now in danger. Her adventure would have to wait; she was needed here. She knew the name of just about everyone around, and they knew hers. Family is forever, and they were hers.

Memories of the last five years and thoughts of unfulfilled adventures lingered in her view as she finished her lunch. It was the sound of the church bells ringing that pulled her back.

She hadn’t been keeping track of her time. She had let it slip away. Swiftly, she started gathering her things, rushing to clean up her area. She lived by the rule, "Always leave a place a little better than you found it". She told her students often that if everyone followed this simple principle, the world would be a brighter, cleaner place. Small actions of change were even more important than bold ones. You didn't need to be a superhero to make a difference; you could be an everyday hero instead. Of course, her students were more interested in the Avengers, but some of them took heed of her words, and that was enough.

Making sure she had left everything as it was, she wasn’t looking when she turned quickly on her heels, colliding with what felt like a brick wall. She bounced backward, dropping her school bag as papers and assorted colored pens scattered to the ground around them.

The man who seemed unfazed by the encounter stood firmly. He glanced around as if trying to figure out where he was. His fists clenched at his sides, and his face filled with uncertainty.

“I’m so sorry.” Her cheeks reddened as she stooped to gather her things. “It was my fault. I should have been looking where I was going. But I’m late, and now I’m even later.” The teacher retrieved her belongings in a sort of haphazard frenzy, her words spilling nervously from her lips. “Are you okay? I mean, I’m sure you are, because...well, look at you.” She took a quick glance up, noting the definition of his muscles under the form-fitting workout shirt. This image only caused the fire in her face to burn hotter. She looked away before her eyes settled on his face. “I’m so sorry.”

She shook her head in disbelief and hurried off down the street, too embarrassed to look back. She had never been the conversationalist, and five years of minimal practice hadn't help, but even she knew that was excruciating.

As if being awakened from a trance, Steve pushed back the memories and processed what had happened. It was unlike him to be so distracted. However, since returning from the past, he found himself increasingly preoccupied and inattentive. Two things he was not used to being.

His gaze lingered on where she once stood. He turned and raised his hand to offer his own apology, but it was too late. He only caught the last glimpse of the hem of her dress fluttering around the corner.

The charm of the town caught his attention. He had never been there before, and to be fair, he wasn’t sure how he got there now. It was like something out of a made-for-television movie. It was a picturesque small town, with antique architecture, clean streets, and people who still smiled and paused to talk with one another. As he scanned the scene, he didn't see a single person on their phone. The people there truly seemed grateful to just enjoy the day.

The large clock tower in the town square read just past noon. He had been running for almost 4 hours. Could it have really been that long?

A flapping paper ensnared under the bench caught his attention. He retrieved the curious object—a child's drawing. In the middle of the page was a figure with long brown hair, and surrounding her were little stick figures, all wearing what looked like capes. A board on the wall read, "Heroes are born from small acts of kindness." It was addressed "To my favorite teacher" and signed "Emma". He realized the woman from before must have dropped it.

For a moment, his thoughts were quiet. This simple, innocent message had reminded him of what had been saved. His lips curled slightly at the corners. The feeling was short-lived, as a group of people stopped across the street and began looking and pointing in his direction.

Steve sighed heavily; he wasn't that man anymore. He wasn't who they were looking for. He tucked the drawing in his pocket and pulled out his phone to track the best route home, as he began jogging back the way he came.

[Part Two]

Till the end of the line (permatag) @the-soot-sprite​​

[chickensarentcheap]

Never Gonna Be Alone -Chapter 26

Title: Preparations

Warning:  it’s filler.  I figured we needed some cute daddy Tyler. lol

Tagging:  @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @alievans007​, @miss-smutty​, @tragiclyhip​

“When you met mumma, you guys were working together, right?”

Addie poses the question as she sits atop the kitchen island; legs swinging back and forth as they dangle over the edge, the heels of silver and gold glitter infused jelly sandals lightly thumping against the wood. She insisted on bringing one of her favourite pairs of shoes from home; arguing that she didn’t care that they were ‘out of season’ and that she would wear what she wants, when she wants, and no one could tell her otherwise. In the end they’d gone perfectly with the new ‘Christmas’ dress she’d picked out Bloomingdales; a vibrant yellow concoction with capped sleeves embellished with strips of lace, a sash around the waist that ties in an enormous bow at the back, and an elaborate tulle skirt several layers thick that shimmers in the light. Forgoing all the burgundy, emerald green, and red dresses that had lined the regular priced racks in favour of an outfit from the leftover and highly discounted summer section. It was a hill Esme hadn't been willing to die on; preferring that Addie showcase both her independence in choosing her own outfit, and being proud of her personal style and preferences. And it suits her; as bright and adorable as her personality with just enough ‘no fucks given’ sprinkled on for good measure.

While tiny and seemingly fragile, she can be extremely assertive and adverse to any form of compromise; tenacious to a fault and digging her heels in and sticking to her guns when she feels she’s one hundred right about her stance. Even if there’s mountains of proof to show that she is, in fact, completely wrong. Someone so stubborn and feisty lingering inside that cute, wee package; able to hold her own while out playing with her older siblings and not afraid to get a bloody nose or a fat lip or a black eye. And not deterred in the slightest when she DOES get injured; right back to what she was doing only hours after getting stitches or a cast removed. Not shying away from climbing trees or splashing in mud puddles or helping muck out the goats stalls while wearing clunky rubber boots paired with a Disney princess dress. Very much like her older sister had been at that age; enjoying being physical and active and playing sports and rough housing one minute, then showcasing her more ‘girly side’ the next. Loving trips to the salon with mummy for manis and pedis; enjoying picking her own shade of polish and then getting to sip orange juice from a champagne glass while getting a facial and her hair trimmed. Collecting dolls along with various rocks and shells and beach glass. Superhero figures taking up residence on her bedroom shelves right alongside stuffies of her favourite animals -koalas, sloths, and kangaroos currently at the top of the list- and snow globes from different parts of the world. Her closet filled with not only frilly dresses and sparkly leggings and colourful sweaters emblazoned with unicorns and french bulldogs and flamingos, but old hand me downs from her brothers; ripped and faded jeans and tattered t-shirts and board shorts.

“Right,” Tyler confirms, as he tends to running a brush through her waist length hair; damp from misting it down with a spray bottle in order to easier part it into sections.

It’s a far cry from his old life; his beaten and busted up hands with their multitude of scars and calluses once used to being soaked in blood and caked with dirt. Large and weathered with misshapen knuckles, they’d long ago gotten accustomed to hard, manual labour and the brutality that he’d had to inflict on others; fists that pummelled bodies and faces and fingers that pulled triggers and wrapped around throats and choked the life out of combatants. And while they still get caked in mud from working around the house and they’re still entrusted to load magazines and are capable of taking a gun apart in thirteen seconds flat, they’ve morphed into other uses. Beginning with diapering babies and tending to the impossibly tiny snaps on jumpers, buttons on little sweaters, and zippers on sleepers. Moving on to tying kid sized shoe laces and cleaning and patching up skinned knees and elbows. Advancing to far more difficult hair styling techniques than the simple ponytails he’d began affixing on Millie when she was a toddler; various styles of braids adorned with ribbons, and snapping barrettes and clamping clips into place.

Being a girl dad is unlike anything he’d ever experienced before. The six short years -despite the little time he’d actually been home- he’d spent with Austin had prepared him for raising boys. His son, when healthy, had been extremely active and fearless and full of curiosity and energy; getting as messy and as dirty as possible and loving every second of it. Obsessed with superheroes and sports and always clad in clothing that displayed his favourites; football jerseys and baseball caps and sweats emblazoned with Superman or Batman logos. He had been terrified twelve years ago when the news had come in that Millie was in fact going to be a girl; not only envisioning frilly dresses and a closet full of pink and those ridiculous headbands parents insist on putting on their infants, but thinking back to his own treatment of women. The days when he’d used them for nothing more than sex; random strangers picked up in bars or that he’d meet on the street in whatever city a job sent him to. A failed marriage; putting more of a priority on the military than he did on treating his wife properly. And all he could think about was how having a daughter was somehow a punishment for the bad shit he’d done. A little girl that he’d have to protect from guys like him.

It was hard to get used to; big fingers having to master putting in tiny earrings and tending to impossibly small zippers and buttons , getting comfortable with the amount of pink and purple in their rooms and closets. Eventually graduating into attending tea parties and playing with Barbies and helping make crafts; getting used to paint on his palms and between his fingers and glitter stuck under his nails and in his hair and beard. Determined to be a hands-on father even if its activities are way outside of his comfort zone; gymnastic meets and dance recitals as opposed to lacrosse matches and football games. Being a girl dad isn’t for the weak; having to worry about your little girls’ hearts being broken and if the guys they pick will treat them right and if they themselves will make smart and responsible choices as teenagers. And the hormones; the up and down emotions and the drastic switch from bitchy to overly sensitive. Having a wife go through it once a month is enough. never mind the thought of three other girls. The worry of how he’ll handle not only the emergence of puberty, but if all four female ‘clocks’ decide to sync up. He doesn’t know if he’ll be able to handle THAT; all the women in his life going through the cramps and the moodiness and the demands to be coddled and babied one minute and left the fuck alone the next.

“Does that mean mummy beat up and killed bad guys too?”

“No. She never did any of that stuff. That was my job, not hers.”

“What did she do?”

“She tracked down the bad guys. And where they were doing mean things to good people. Then she told me...or guys like me...where they were so we could go and take care of things.”

“So you could go and kill them?”

“You don’t always have to kill people. Sometimes it’s enough to just rough them up a bit.”

“And other times they fight back and try to hurt you and you have to hurt them first?”

“Pretty much.”

“Have you killed a lot of people?”

“Not that many," he lies. It's actually a staggering amount; the death toll -from his hand alone- in Dhaka putting the count well over three hundred.

“How many is ‘not that many'?’”

“I don’t know, Peanut. I’ve never kept track.”

“But you’ve helped more people than you’ve hurt. That’s what mummy said when I asked if it was true. If Tyler was lying when he told me you kill people for a living.”

“That’s a while ago. That you asked mummy that.”

“I was three. That’s a whole two years ago. But sometimes I think about it. Especially when you go away. I think about you having to kill people.”

“And what do you think WHEN you think about that? About what I sometimes have to do?”

“I dunno know,” Addie shrugs, and then lifts the spray bottle clutched in both hands and holds it towards her face; giggling when she pulls the trigger and catches some of the mist in her mouth.

“Does it bother you? When you think about it? That I’ve killed people? That sometimes I still have to?”

“Why would it bother me?”

“Kind of a hard thing to hear, don’t you think? That daddy has to do stuff like that?”

“It’s your job. It’s what you do. You have to hurt people to save other people. And sometimes, if they try and hurt you first, you have to kill them. Because if you didn’t, they might kill you and then you never come home and we never get to see you again. It’s not THAT hard to hear. I’d rather you kill someone and come home than never see you again.”

“You know,” he plucks the spray bottle from her hands and dampens a section of hair. “You’re pretty smart for only five.”

“Smart like mummy.”

He leans in to press a kiss to her cheek. “Cute like her too.”

“Are you going to get in trouble? For killing people?”

“Who would I get in trouble with?”

“God. Isn’t that one of the things we’re not supposed to do? Kill people?”

“How do you know about that? We don’t talk about that stuff at home.”

“I hear things. At school. Some of the older kids talking. Are you? Going to get in trouble? For killing people?”

“Probably,” he admits. “I’m sure I’ll face some kind of judgement for it. When my time comes.”

“But wouldn’t it be okay ‘cause you only kill bad people? That were hurting good people? Wouldn’t that be allowed? And if you had to kill someone so you could come home to us, wouldn’t that be okay too?”

“I don’t know,” he snags a yellow cloth ribbon off the island and begins braiding a section of hair around it. “I’ve never thought that far ahead about things.”

“It would suck if you got in trouble for helping people. That wouldn’t be fair at all. If you got sent to hell for doing stuff like that. I mean, you were doing something GOOD. You weren’t doing something bad. You HAD to kill evil people to help good people. And to make sure you come home to mummy and us kids. I can’t see you getting in trouble for something like THAT.”

“Doesn’t make much sense to me either. But not a lot does anymore.”

“I’ll be really mad if you get in trouble and sent somewhere different than me. I don’t want us to be in two separate places. I want us to be together. All of us. You and mummy and all us kids. I don’t want us to all be separated. Well, maybe Millie could be. Because she’s mean to me. All the time.”

“Millie is going through some stuff. She’s going to be a teenager soon. A lot of drama leading up to THAT.”

“She says I’m annoying. That she used to really like me when I was a baby and couldn’t do anything. But now I can do lots of stuff and I can talk and she says that pisses her off. That I’m a bratty little sister.”

“You are NOT bratty.”

“Right? That’s what I said. She’s bratty if anything. Am I annoying, daddy? Don’t lie. You can tell me the truth.”

“You are not annoying. If anyone is annoying, it’s Millie.”

“I said THAT too! But she’s mean. She even threatened to cut my hair off. Shave it. Because I couldn’t find my brush and I borrowed hers and she didn’t like that. So you know what I did? While you were gone?”

“What did you do?”

“I took the tops off two Oreo cookies and I ate the middle and then I put in mayonnaise and I put the tops back on and gave them to Millie. I told her I was being a good little sister and bringing her a snack. And she put a whole one in her mouth! She almost puked!”

He can’t help but chuckle. “You actually did that?”

“Yup. It was awesome. I laughed so hard, I almost peed! But then she started chasing me around the house threatening to kill me. Mummy was screaming at her to lighten up, that it was just a joke. And then she told mummy to shut up and Tyler got mad. REALLY mad. He tackled Millie and grabbed her by the hair and pushed her face into the carpet. Then he put her in a figure four leg lock and made her cry.”

“Millie told your mom to shut up?”

“Oooops…” Addie tilts her head back to look at him, a sheepish smile curving her lips. “....I wasn’t supposed to tell you that part.”

“Who told you not to tell me? Millie?”

The five year old shakes her head.

“TJ?”

Another shake, followed by a tiny “No.”

“Addie…”

“It was mummy! She said not to tell you because you’d get pissed off and you didn’t need to. Because she took care of it right when it happened. Well, Tyler did. He was really, really, REALLY mad. She learned her lesson. I’m sure of it. He made her cry. Lots.”

“Did that happen a lot? Millie getting mouthy with your mom?”

“Not really.”

He stares pointedly down at her.

“A few times,” she reluctantly admits. “She said some things that were really mean. To mummy. And she said the F word once, too. Mixed with the B word.”

“She said that ? To your mom?”

Addie chews nervously on her bottom lip. “Yeah, she called her an f-ing B word.”

“What did mummy do?”

“She didn’t get a chance to do anything. Desi freaked out. And he’s really big and he can be really scary when he wants. Like you. Desi told her that she should never, ever talk to her mum like that. And that you’d be really mad if you found out. And that she’d rather deal with him than you. Which is true. Desi might be bigger than you, but you’re definitely tougher. I mean, he doesn’t kill people for a living. You do.”

“Things were pretty bad, huh? While I was gone.”

“A little. Millie went off the reservation. Big time. She’s lucky she’s even breathing. ‘Cause Tyler was ready to kill her. And I don’t blame him. You’re mad, aren’t you. Are you mad, daddy?”

“A bit.”

“You know how I can tell? That you’re mad? Your neck moves. Right here,” she reaches up to press to fingertips against the side of his throat. “Where the bad guy shot you a long time ago.”

“How did you know about that?”

“Mummy told me. I asked her how you got that scar. She said that a long time ago, her and Ovi were in trouble and you had to get them out of a really bad place. And then you made sure they were safe and sound, but a bad guy shot you. In the neck. And that’s why you have the scar there.”

“Did that scare you? Hearing that?”

“A little, I guess. I mean, you could have died, right?”

“I could have, yeah.”

“And then you and mummy never would have gotten married. And had kids. Millie would be the only one to exist. None of us would. So yeah, that part scared me a bit; that the bad guy could have killed and none of us ever would have been born. Did you kill him?”

“Eventually.”

“Mummy said she stayed with you. After it happened. And that she went back to Australia with you and that’s how she ended up there. It’s where you guys got married. And had Millie and me and Kota and Brookie. That we were the ones born there. So we’re REAL Australians, like you. Everyone else is American.”

“Everyone else WAS American. You’re all Australian now.”

“How does that work?”

“A lot of papers you have to fill out. To become a citizen. But you all are. Mummy and I made sure of it.”

“Is mummy an Australian too?”

“By marriage, yeah.”

“It’s a good thing she married you. You’re a lucky guy, daddy. That someone like mummy fell in love with you.”

“I am,” he confirms. “Very lucky. She’s a pretty good mummy, huh?”

“She’s the best mummy EVER. If we could pick our mummies, I’d pick her. Because she’s nice and she gives good cuddles and kisses and she tells the best silly jokes. And she’s super smart and really cute too. And little! Like me!”

“That’s where you get from. Being so cute and wee. You’re just like your mumma.”

Her eyes sparkle as she smiles broadly up at him; the corners and the bridge of her nose crinkle. “And that’s a good thing, yeah?”

“A very good thing,” Dropping a kiss on her forehead, he brushes the tip of his nose against hers; smiling at the way she throws her head back and giggles.

He’s seen her mother do that exact movement and expression a number of times; excitement while on the rides at Disney World with the kids, when she’s had one too many glasses of wine and even his terrible ‘dad jokes’ are suddenly hilarious, when they’ve been on one of their ‘mommy and daddy’ vacations and she’s gotten up the guts to try something new and exciting; emboldened by his encouragement and forever feeling safe and secure as long as he’s by her side. So much of Esme in the tiny little girl in front of him; tenacious and ferociously intelligent and loving deeply and fearlessly. Knowing the darkness and the horrors that exist in the world but not allowing herself to be tarnished by it; always finding ways to smile and laugh and find the beauty in every day.

“What do you think mummy would have done if she didn’t do the job she did?” Addie inquires, when she finally drops her head back down and he’s able to return to tending her hair.

“I don’t know. Teach? Be a nurse? Maybe a doctor?”

“How would you have met her? If she didn’t do her old job?”

“Maybe I would have met her on the beach. In Australia. Maybe she would have come there on a vacation.”

“Maybe. Or maybe you would have gone to where she used to live. In Chicago.”

“She used to live in Colorado. That’s where she was born and where she grew up. Chicago is a totally different place.”

“She used to live by the mountains. When I was in her tummy, you guys lived on a hobby farm. And you had goats and chickens. Mummy says we still own that house.”

“Yup, we do. We rent it out.”

“Can we go there one day? I’d like to see it. I’d like to see where you guys were living when I was in mummy’s belly. Is that where I was made?”

“We’re pretty sure that’s where it happened. Not many other places it could have been.”

“Maybe we can go and visit. And I can see where I was made. That would be fun. I want to see the mountains.”

“Maybe one day.” He finishes up the first braided pigtail, securing it with an impossibly small elastic before turning his attention to the other section of hair.

“If you met mummy a different way, would you have still liked her? Would you have still fallen in love with her?”

“Yup. Why wouldn’t have I? She still would have been mummy. She still would have been the same person. Still would have been the most beautiful girl ever.”

“Do you think she still would have fallen in love with you?”

“I sure as hell hope so. Would sure suck if she didn’t. Your mumma is pretty special, Peanut. She’s the love of my life. Took me until I was thirty five to meet her.”

“You were married before, though. To Austin's mom. You didn’t love her?”

“I did. But not in the way I love your mum. Your mum? That’s who I want to spend the rest of my life with. Grow really, really, REALLY old with. It’s a whole other kind of love. And you know what? It’s not easy to explain. You just know what you feel.”

“Imagine if things were opposite? If you went to Colorado and met mummy instead of her meeting you in Australia and working with you? And then you would have stayed there; where the snow and the mountains are instead of the beach and the ocean. How come you moved? Why didn’t you guys stay? Where the mountains are?”

“Things changed. We weren’t happy there anymore. We needed to get away. Go back to the place where we were the happiest.”

“In Australia?”

“Yup.”

“That’s where I’m happiest too. I love it there. I love how warm it is; the sun and the sand and the water. I like the sound it makes; listening to it when I’m trying to fall asleep. And I like how the beach feels; between my toes and when I let it run through my fingers. And I love my room and my toys and my school and my friends and all the goats and our pigs and our chickens. And Charlie. I love him the most. I love making him peanut butter sandwiches. I’d miss him the most. If we had to leave. We won’t have to leave will we, daddy?”

“I don’t see why we would have to.”

“I don’t ever want to leave Australia. It’s perfect there. It’s where I was born. And where you were born too. We have that in common. We were BOTH born there.”

“Yeah…” he grins, and presses a kiss to the back of her head. “...we were.”

“I mean, we have other stuff in common too. Because you’re my dad and that means you helped make me so that means half of me is half of you. The other half is from mummy. And we both love surfing. And animals. And Vegemite. I LOVE Vegemite. It’s sooooo good.”

“Speaking of Vegemite, was it you that left the Vegemite and Nutella sandwich for Santa?”

Addie giggles. “Maybe…”

“Why would you ever put the two of those together?”

“Tyler made it for his school lunch once and he let me try a bit and it was really good! So I thought Santa might like to try it. Part American, part Australian.”

“You know, that’s pretty genius. And it worked. I tried a bit and it wasn’t bad.”

“Right?! You wouldn’t think it would work, but it does. Somehow. Kind of like you and mummy.”

“What’s THAT supposed to mean?”

“You and mummy are so different. You’re really tall and big and she’s really short and small. Like, you know how mummy is a morning person? She’s always really cheerful and smiley? And you’re not? You’re moody and miserable. A total grump face! And you don’t like to talk until you’ve had your first coffee. With three shots of espresso in it.”

“You notice all that stuff?”

“I notice everything. Mummy says I’m very observant. And that I have really good instincts. Like you. She says ‘cause my tummy tells me if something is right or wrong. And yours does too. You know how else you and mummy are different?”

“How?”

“Mummy talks to everyone! She’s very talky talky. A chatterbox.”

“Geez,” Tyler grins, and tugs playfully at the completed pigtail. “I wonder who ELSE is a chatterbox?”

“She’s a social butterfly. She makes friends everywhere she goes. People like her. Because she’s so bubbly and cute and she makes peoples hearts feel warm because she’s so nice to them. You’re more serious. You don’t talk a lot. At least not to people you don’t know. People are scared of you sometimes. Because how big you are and because you got all the drawings on you and the scars and stuff. They think you’re mean. ‘Cause of all that.”

“And what do you think?”

“I think you’re just daddy. I KNOW you’re not mean. I KNOW you’re a nice guy. I KNOW you give awesome hugs; your arms are big but they feel nice and they wrap all the way around me! If people really paid attention, they’d see that you’re nice. You have soft eyes. They’re blue and they’re pretty and they’re kind. Especially when you smile and they go all crinkly. If people really gave you a chance, they’d see you’re not scary at all. You’re only like that if you HAVE to be. If bad people are near mummy or us kids.”

“Are you ever scared of me?” It’s a recurring thought; if his children ever pick up on the worry and the tension and the fear that comes with his issues. It’s a feat some days; forcing himself out of bed and putting one foot in front of the other. Wanting nothing more than to stay under the covers and surrender to the exhaustion that comes with doing battle with his own mind every day. But his family is his number one priority, whether it’s a good day or a horrible one. And he’ll ‘fake it until he makes it’ as long as his children and his wife know that they’re loved; provided and cared for and made to feel safe and protected.

“Why would I be? Why would I be scared of my daddy?”

“Well, you know what I do for a living. You know what I’ve had to do to people. Does that scare you?”

“Nope. Because that’s just your job. It’s not who you are. When you come home, you’re just daddy. You take us bike riding and hiking and swimming and surfing. And you help us find rocks and shells and you let me sit on your shoulders when we walk on the beach or go into town. And we take naps. On the hammock. I love our naps on the hammock.”

He smiles. “So do I.”

“Sometimes I get a little worried. When you get upset. Or you and mummy argue. I don’t like when you guys argue. I always worry that you’ll hate each other. That you’ll get a divorce. And then you won’t live with us. It makes me sad when I think about that.”

“You don’t need to be sad, Peanut. That’s never going to happen. I’m never going to go and live somewhere else. I’m going to stay right where I am; with you guys and your mumma. And just because we argue? That doesn’t mean we’re going to hate each other. I could NEVER hate your mum. And I’m pretty sure she’d say the same thing about me. We love each other. Very much. Divorce is NOT something you need to think about. But do I ever scare you? Have I ever?”

“I don’t have a reason to be scared of you. Because you love me. You’d never hurt me. I never worry about that. Not even when you yell and your voice gets REALLY loud. I know you’d never do anything mean to me. Just to bad people. And I’m not a person. I’m a GOOD person.”

“You definitely are. You’re a VERY good person. An amazing little person.”

She smiles. “Like mummy.”

“Just like her. More than even I ever realized.”

******

“Addie…” TJ singsongs as he saunters into the kitchen, both hands tucked behind his back. “...what are you doing?”

“Tyler!” She cheerfully greets, and excitedly waves to him with both hands. Her entire face lighting up at the sight of her second favourite male in the house

She’s become extremely close to her oldest brother during her five years on earth; idolizing him and turning to him for help and comfort when daddy is either caught up with one of the other kids, tending to work related matters, or out of the house -and sometimes even the country- all together. And TJ dotes on her in return. Spoiling her and babying her ever since she was an infant and he was always more than willing to help change her diapers and give her feedings. In awe of how tiny she was and how she’d look up at him with so much adoration. He’s the quintessential older brother; patient and loving and ready to kick anyone’s ass that dares messes with her.

“Look at my dress! It’s the one I picked out when I went shopping for mommy. That I kept a secret. Isn’t it awesome?”

“Awesome just like you. It’s really pretty, Ads. Your favourite colour too!”

“Yup! Mummy bought it for me. She said it’s perfect for me. For my personality. It reminds me of Belle’s dress. From Beauty and the Beast.”

“Looks a little like it, I guess. But you know what? It’s even prettier. And you’re more beautiful than Belle. WAY more beautiful.”

“Really?” she gasps, and a noticeable blush creeps into her cheeks, spreading all the way to the tips of her ears. “You really think so?”

“I REALLY think so. Belle has nothing on you. You’re the prettiest princess EVER. Way prettier than ANY of them.”

“Oh goodness!” She clamps both hands over her mouth in embarrassment, then giggles into them. “Like mumma? Just as pretty as her? Mumma is the prettiest EVER.”

“Just a smaller version of her.” TJ leans in close and presses the tip of his nose against hers. “Guess what I have? What you forgot in my room?”

“Adeline!” she cries, when he reveals the item he’d been keeping behind his back. And she snags the doll from him and showers its head and face with kisses as she clutches it tightly to her chest. “Adeline! I’m sorry I forgot you! I didn’t mean to!”

“I kept her safe for you,” TJ says. “So Declan wouldn’t grab her. You know how he likes to get a hold of dolls and torture them. I didn’t want him getting her. She’s way too pretty and I know how much you love her.”

“He’s mean to my dolls! He’s always taking their heads off and putting their arms where their legs should be and crazy shit like that.”

“Hey,” Tyler frowns, and tugs on the half braided pigtail. “What did I say?”

“No bad language. Especially on Christmas Day. I can’t help it though; sometimes it just slips out. If you didn’t swear so much around us kids…”

“That’s it. Throw me under the bus.”

“You swear A LOT, daddy. Especially in the car. When other people don’t drive fast enough or use their blinkers. If mummy knew exactly how much you DO swear around us, she’d be mad. REALLY mad.”

“Your mum has a worse mouth than I do.”

“As if!” Addie scoffs, and he can’t help but smile; easily hearing Esme’s voice and picturing the expression on her face; the corner up her mouth and her nose scrunched up in disgust, eyes slightly narrowed. “Thank you, Tyler!” She curls an arm around her brother’s neck, squeezing as tight as she can. “You’re the best! Thank you for keeping her safe from the Ginger. You’re the best brother EVER! I only trust you with her. And daddy. That’s it. You guys are big and strong and will keep her safe no matter what.”

“What the hell are you wearing?” He addresses his son as the latter moves to the fridge, pausing in the braiding of Addie’s hair to survey TJ’s wardrobe a pair of ill fitting and impossibly baggy jeans, an enormous untucked dress shirt with its sleeves rolled to his elbows, and a loose pink, purple, and grey striped tie.

“Your pants. And one of your shirts.” TJ reaches into the fridge and grabs a carton of chocolate milk and a jug of white. Closing the door with his hip and carrying them to the counter by the sink; pouring a mix of both into a plastic tumblr retrieved from the dish rack and then snagging two straws from the cupboard. “Mum told me to. She said none of my clothes were good enough for Christmas dinner. All my jeans have holes in them and all t-shirts have to do with surfing. We’ve never had to dress up for Christmas dinner before. Why do we have to start now?”

“Your mum’s trying to make things perfect. To avoid drama. With your grandmother.”

“Too late. Grandma brings drama with her. And drops it on everyone else.” He drags a bar stool across the floor and places it in front of his little sister. “Here Ads,” he holds the cup in front of her. “A yellow straw just for you. So you don’t have to share my germs. Let me hold it; so you don’t spill anything on your dress.”

Giving a delighted squeal and a smile of appreciation, she takes a pull from the straw. “I think you look handsome, Tyler. You’re growing up. You’re going to be as big as daddy soon.”

“It’s going to be a while before I’m THAT big. But I’m going to work on it. As soon as I’m allowed, I’m going to lift heavy too and put on ALL kinds of muscle.”

“Then you can go after bad people too. And beat them up and kill them when you have to.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Tyler suggests. “Something tells me mummy might have an issue with that.”

“Why doesn’t mum just tell grandma to get lost?” TJ inquires. “It’s not like they like each other. They never have. They’ve always fought. I remember how they’d get into it at Christmas. When we were still living in Colorado. Grandma would get drunk and she’d pick fights with mum and mum would fight back and cry and then you’d go off on grandma. Is that going to happen this year? ‘Cause it’s been nice and quiet at Christmas. Do we HAVE to listen to grandma's shit?”

“What did I just tell your sister? About the language?”

“She’s five, but she’s right. It IS hard to stop and it does just come out. But do we, dad? Do we really have to put up with her?”

“It’s one night. I think you can manage. If I can grin and bear it, so can you. Suck it up.”

“If she starts in on mum about ANYTHING, I’m going to lose it. That’s my mum. No one talks to my mum like that. I almost taught Jacobi a lesson. For calling mum cute and wanting to ask her out. I’ll teach grandma a lesson too. I’m not afraid of her.”

“If anyone is going to teach her a lesson, it’s going to be me. You stay out of it. Your mum wouldn’t want you getting into it with her. You’re TEN.”

“Doesn’t matter how old I am. That’s MY mum. And no one is going to treat her bad. We’re supposed to protect her, remember? You and I.”

“You’re supposed to be a kid and stay that way as long as you can. I’M supposed to protect your mom. And I think I’ve been pretty damn good at it for the last twelve and a half years. And if your grandma starts? I’ll stop it. You don’t have to worry about that.”

“Why does she hate you so much anyway? Is it still the same crap? How she’s pissed because you stole mum away from her family and moved her all the way to Australia? ‘Cause you got her pregnant before you married her?”

Addie scowls. “Who cares? Lots of people have babies and they aren’t married. And so what if mummy didn’t go back home and she stayed with daddy? She’s an adult. She can do what she wants. And she wanted to be with daddy. None of grandma’s business. I’mma tell her that too. If she starts saying mean things about daddy or mummy. I’mma tell her what for.”

“You’re not going to do a thing,” Tyler informs her. “You’re going to leave all the telling off to me, got it?”

“I don’t like her,” Addie says. “She’s not a nice person. She has a mean smile. And her eyes are empty. They don’t sparkle or anything like that. Are you sure that’s mummy’s mummy? Because when mummy smiles, her eyes sparkle. She LOOKS happy. Grandma? She just looks mean.”

“No one likes her,” TJ grumbles. “Best thing we ever did was get away from her. But IS that why, dad? Is that really why she doesn’t like you? Because she still thinks you stole mum and took her all the way to Australia?”

“It’s a few things.”

“I bet it’s the job too. I bet she really has a problem with THAT.”

“Again…” Addie huffs dramatically. “...who cares? So what if daddy kills people? They’re BAD. They deserve it. He helps good people and sometimes when he’s helping them, he has to kill the bad guys. I don’t see a problem with that. If they try and hurt him or kill him, he HAS to kill them first. So he can come home. To us. And mummy. It only makes sense.”

“If Ads can get it, ANYONE can,” TJ says. “She’s only five. What’s grandma? A hundred? If a five year old can get it…”

“Daddy makes the world a better place because he gets rid of the bad people,” Addie continues, as she takes another sip of the drink her brother offers her. “If we had less bad people, everything would be great. There’d be less wars and less people getting hurt and everyone would love one another and be happy. Daddy’s doing a good thing. By sticking up for people. Like you do. At school. You beat up the bullies when you have to. Remember the older kid that tripped me and shoved my face in the mud? Remember him? He’s in grade eight AND you kicked the crap out of me. Because he picked on me.”

“You’re my sister. It’s my job to protect you.”

“And remember that other guy? On the playground by mummy’s store? The one that pulled my hair and told me I was adopted because I’m small and I don’t look like any of you guys. You freaked out on him and made him apologize and scared him away. He’ll cross the street now if he sees you coming.”

“You can’t let bad people get away with doing bad things,” TJ reasons. “If you don’t stop them, they’ll just keep doing bad stuff.”

“Exactly! So it’s a good thing that daddy goes after the bad guys. Grandma needs to learn. And she needs to learn TODAY. You should tell her, Tyler. You should tell her off. You’re not scared of anyone.”

“Not being scared of anyone or anything is not always a good thing,” Tyler informs her. “If you’re not scared, you don’t take a situation or people seriously. That’s when you get hurt. And you know what? No matter how big of a bad ass you think you are? There’s always a bigger one out there somewhere. Believe me. I’ve learned THAT lesson the hard way.”

“The guy who shot you just got a lucky one in,” TJ reasons. “You were already hurt. You weren’t one hundred percent. Some guy had already shot you, hadn’t he? A sniper?”

“What’s a sniper?” Addie inquires. “Is it like Swipper on Dora? Something like him?”

“We don’t need to talk about that,” Tyler says. “You don’t need to know that stuff. Not until you’re older. WAY older.”

“A sniper’s a guy that hides somewhere and shoots you,” TJ replies. “Somewhere where no one sees him. It’s why they’re so dangerous. You don’t even know where they are. They just shoot you. And they kill you before you even know what happened.”

“But daddy didn’t get killed. If a sniper shot daddy, shouldn’t he be dead?”

Combing his hand through her bangs, Tyler tips his daughter’s head back. “What did I just say? About you not needing to know about this stuff?”

“I’m curious now. Tyler said they hide and shoot people and kill them. How come you didn’t die? If a sniper shot you?”

“I guess he didn’t manage to get a good shot in.”

“It was the other guy that almost killed him,” TJ says, and takes a sip of the concoction in his hand. “The one that got him in the neck. That’s when he almost died. Mum saved him.”

“How? How did mummy save daddy? Daddy…” she swivels around in her stool to face him. “...how did mummy save you? Did she shoot the bad guy back?”

“Mum stuck her fingers in his neck,” TJ says. “To stop the bleeding. Or he would have bled to death.”

Addie’s eyes widen. “She DID?”

“When you’re older, MAYBE I’ll tell you more more about it. But for now…” Tyler places his hands on her shoulders and gently turns her back around. “...you don’t need to know this stuff. And you…” he stares pointedly at his son. “...don’t talk about this around her. She doesn’t need to know about this. She’s a baby still.”

“I’m not a baby!” Addie objects. “I’m five! I can almost ride my bike without training wheels. Babies can’t do that.”

“Just don’t, alright?” He addresses TJ. “Don’t talk about this stuff around her. Because she’s going to repeat all of this and she’s going to repeat it to your mum and that won’t end well. For you OR me.”

“It happened though. I mean, it’s part of how you guys met and got together and ended up getting married and stuff. It’s your history. I don’t see why…”

“I said ENOUGH. No more. Not around her. Got it?” He’s on edge; the mere mention of Dhaka and the incidents on the bridge playing straight into the anxiety and the panic he’d felt the night before; when he’d woken up from the nightmare and been on the verge of losing control and had turned to the fentanyl for relief. And it scares him; how easy it had been to not only access the powerful med, but actually take it. He’d encountered no resistance or hesitation; remorse and guilt not setting in until the following morning when he’d woken up and it had been the first thing on his mind. It’s alarming how quick things can return; an addict’s mind and behaviour.

Nodding, TJ holds his hands up in surrender.

“You’re both going to be nice tonight,” he says, and finishes Addie’s final braid. “To grandma. Because your mum is already stressed out enough and we don’t need to make it worse for her. So if the best you can do is smile and nod, just do that. I’m not asking you to kiss her ass. I’m just asking you to be civil. Can you handle that?”

TJ nods.

“You?” He tugs on one of Addie’s pigtails. “Can you do that? Be civil?”

“Do I have to be near her? Or sit on her lap? ‘Cause I draw the line there.”

“You don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Just don’t be a little asshole, alright?”

“Me? I’m Mary Freaking Sunshine, remember? That’s what Grandpa Koen calls me.”

“Well then live up to it and be nice to your grandmother. Smile until your face hurts, got it?”

“What do I get out of it?”

He smirks.

“Mummy says to always negotiate. Never settle for the first offer. Can I sleep in the big bed tonight? For being nice to grandma?”

“No.” Wrapping an arm around her waist, he lifts her off the stool; pressing a kiss to her cheek before setting her on the ground.

She turns to face him. Head cocked to the side and one hand clutching her doll, the other planted firmly on her hip. “Can I have ice cream for my bedtime snack?”

"Maybe."

“Maybe isn’t good enough.”

“You ARE just like your mom, aren’t you.”

“I’ll be nice if I can have ice cream for my bedtime snack and you snuggle with me and draw on my back for half an hour. And that’s after FOUR stories.”

“You're bossy, you know that? Two stories.”

“Three. That’s as low as I’ll go.”

“I will give you two stories, ice cream for your snack, and forty five minutes of snuggling and drawing on your back. Instead of half an hour. We got a deal?”

Her eyes narrow as she considers it; nibbling on her bottom lip and swishing her hips back and forth. “You’re good at this.”

“This isn’t my first rodeo, Peanut. I’ve dealt with tougher than you. What do you say?” He offers a hand. “Deal?”

“Deal!” she agrees, his hand easily swallowing hers as they shake on it.

Grinning, he runs a hand over the top of her head and then drops a kiss on her hair. “You really DO have a lot of your mum in you.”

“Great things come in small packages,” Addie reasons, standing on her tiptoes as he leans down and pecks her lips. “Thank you, daddy!” she chirps. “My hair looks beautiful. You always do it perfect.”

“Pretty hard not to when my subject is so cute. Good thing I married your mum, huh? So I could have a kid as cute as you?”

“You really are a lucky man!” she declares and then cheerfully skips out of the room.

“I hope grandma is on her best behaviour,” TJ says, as he finishes the drink in his hand and then slides off the stool and returns it to its place at the island. “Because if she DOES start on mum, it’s going to be a wild night. I really hope she watches her step.”

“My too, kiddo,” Tyler sighs, and reaches out to tousle his son’s hair. “Me too.”