#but alas i fucking hate coding and programming

[saintscatorccio]

begging society to make a firbolg bg3 mod, i wanna play a stupid cow so fucking bad

[musical-failgirl-fight]

Ariadne propaganda: the premise of Ulysses Dies At Dawn is a cyberpunk noir Greek Mythology heist story where the four "Suits" team up to break into Ulysses' vault and get filthy rich from the treasure inside. Each Suit is meant to open one of the locks on the vault, and Ariadne's job is to complete the "trial of love".

Jonny: [...] who better for it than Ariadne, famed for her love of Theseus? As it turns out, almost anyone. A small chamber beside the vault slides open.

Ariadne: "And what is my trial?"

Jonny: Her contempt is thick as Oedipus plugs in to analyse it. He lets out a short laugh.

Oedipus: "To open the door, one of our number must prove a love stronger than life, and sacrifice themselves without fear or hesitation.

[...]

I’m sure your fee will be paid to Theseus, whom you love so unreservedly.”

Jonny: Of course, Ariadne has no intention of dying, nor any feeling for Theseus save hate. Alas, no-one had known what the trial of love entailed, and she’d been playing the spurned lover so long she had believed herself up to whatever it might have been. But this?

Ariadne: "No."

Jonny: Theseus, as it turns out, was just a sap Ariadne had been using to try and regain the societal standing her family had quickly lost when it was revealed her parents had created the Minotaur: a beast that had stalked the City since its founding, plucking the still-living brains from its victims for the Acheron. Ariadne had given Theseus the deactivation codes, in the hope that openly righting her parents' wrong and marrying a hero of the people would make for some damn good PR. But Theseus had taken the credit and very publicly jilted her. No, she couldn’t die yet, not when the Ulysses job paid so well. She had a dynasty to rebuild. 

This leads to her song, "Ties That Bind," where she explains her backstory and motivations for taking the job.

You engineered the beast That stalks the streets Making deals with a monster so much worse Playing games with lives And bringing down his curse Mother, Father You brought our name down low Where the city once lay at our feet Now I’m working with these lowlifes just to eat I reap what you sow Your one true child

Ariadne's parents had created the Minotaur, which murdered people to put their brains in the Acheron (the computer network that keeps The City running). When the truth was revealed, her family and fortune were ruined by scandal, and Ariadne is disgusted by how far she's been brought low by her parent's crimes. Look at her, she has to work with these lowlifes to get by! Her reputation is in shambles! She has to work in administration (money laundering) instead of owning multiple businesses!

I mean, it's not like she's honestly doing comparatively better than the rest of the Suits since she has a job and isn't trapped in debt to her abusive father or mired in suicidal depression or best known for fucking her mom and stabbing out her eyes--OH WAIT.

My family will rise again We’ll reclaim the power that we used to hold The Minos name reborn From the ashes bright in letters made of gold For long we’ve remained in shadow And in far-forgotten tales never told The city shall be ours Once again, once again

And despite all the shit her parents caused, she's still hellbent on redeeming their family name and rebuilding their capitalist dynasty, because apparently that's what she's built her entire identity on. #cringefail girlboss right there.

So Theseus hunted for your Minotaur With the strings of code I gave it wasn’t hard To find it and deactivate its guard It tried to fight it But its programming won out after all Collapsing in a sparking metal heat My preening hero claimed all credit for the feat Completing my fall In dishonour I am tied

Oh yeah, and to add insult to injury, Plan A was to recruit Theseus to hunt down the Minotaur, then marry him and have the good PR of being the wife of the hero who brought down the beast thanks to her. Of course, he then proceeded to dump her at the altar and take all the credit for killing the Minotaur. However, she's still clinging to the image of the heartbroken bridge who's madly in love with Theseus, even though she hates his guts, in an effort to save face.

(And I totally think she's aromantic and performing heteronormativity for the public but that's technically not canon. Technically.)

Mother, Father, you’re both long dead I was betrayed by the one I was to wed There was no love there, my heartstrings long since cut The Minos noble name lies in the mud But not for long

Yeah, and how's trying to force someone else to be a human sacrifice in your place working out for you, Ariadne?

Oh wait, you were so busy trying to save your ass that you got shot in the heart in a thematically resonant manner by Ulysses and their impeccable laser geometry, that's how it worked out!

And guess what? Even if the Suits had gotten into the vault and she hadn't died in the process, she still would have failed because the treasure in the vault was the last tree in The City--impossibly valuable, but not really something she can sell to rebuild her wealth and prestige.

Also, the one behind the entire heist--Hades--is implied to have been able to get into the vault the whole time because they have a camera in there. They were just playing along so they could get an entertaining story and help Ulysses die in peace, and immediately after Ulysses perished they burned down the Acheron and left everyone in The City to die. So she was extremely screwed no matter what.

Anyway, vote for my awful wonderful girlboss failgirl Ariadne Minos!

oh my god

that sure is a cringe compilation of both a life and death . good on u girl

[ichorandpride]

im not only an ad hating commie but im also a prophet of forbidden knowledge

here's a pastebin i made for ublock origin that blocks youtube ads and google AI overview*

copy paste this shit into ublock origin's filters (or ublock origin lite's filters if you still use chrome... btw stop using chrome -_-)

it not only blocks google's AI overview bullshit (*for the most part. there are some hiccups for IPs based in other countries blah blah im not getting into a rant to explain it) but it also blocks youtube's ads

that said, if you dont know how to do any of this shit, i'll explain under the cut so it doesnt become some huge long thing:

get ublock origin (or ublock origin lite if you're using chrome. stop using chrome just use firefox i swear to god it's not only faster but it supports a hell of a lot more shit than chrome does now because google is a corporate shill company)

click the gears icon. that's your settings, as with any other thing that uses gear icons...

go to "my filters" and then copy paste the pastebin into the giant black box. make sure you also select "enable my custom filters". hit apply changes. done ez pz

oh. slightly off topic. but btw if you want to block all those AI image websites from google images, use ublacklist** (chrome || firefox) and input the shit from this public github repository into it and wow! suddenly all those AI image shits have disappeared! (**alternatively, you can also use ublock origin for the github as well, but i personally prefer ublacklist)

now before anyone cries bc this happens all the time: these are just filters so dont be like waaaah im scared that it's a virus waaah. this aint a program. none of this is even coding per-se. it's just filters. it's the exact same as using x-kit to blacklist posts that have certain words or phrases here on tumblr, though the filters in this case target pop ups and redirect URLs that advertisements embedded into videos like to use

also keep in mind that google may change some of this shit so at some point, it might stop working altogether. when that happens, i will continue to wage my personal war against the corporate suits that run this shit. i will continue to impart my forbidden knowledge.

id also like to state that im fully aware ive already made a reblog like this in the past on this post. alas i am not exactly keeping track of each and every thing i respond to, and i've put enough effort into this reblog for me to not just silently delete it. fuck it, i say.

I just got described as an "ad hating commie" by someone because I said a minute of youtube ads is unpleasant. fully spent 5 minutes arguing and defending youtube ads. insane stuff

[ultraintrovertedgryffindor]

Trauma Nightmares - Ben Miller (Escape Room)

I believe I will be at least one of the first people to make an x reader for this character, which is like, unacceptable. Ben is a cinnamon roll and deserves more love. Get👏🏻with👏🏻the👏🏻program👏🏻sheeple

! ! ! Spoilers for the Escape Room movies ! ! !

~~~~~~~~~~

(my gif)

You awoke to the sound of whimpering.

At first, your thoughts immediately went to your dog, maybe he needed to go out? But as you gained more consciousness, you realized it wasn't your dog at all.

You looked over to see your boyfriend's sleeping form in the dark, but you quickly noticed that something was wrong.

You quickly turned on your bedside lamp, illuminating Ben's face to show you his face contorted in a fearful expression, his eyes shut tightly and his fists clenching. He was whimpering and whispering words that only sounded muffled to you.

He was having another nightmare.

As soon as you saw tears streaming down his face, you gently shook him. "Ben." You said as softly as possible, caressing his face. He woke with a jolt, grabbing you by your shoulders tightly, wildly looking around the room in a panic. "Hey, it's okay. It's okay."

Ben was still tense, but his panicked look calmed when his eyes finally landed on your concerned face. He slowly released the vice grip he had on your shoulders. The tension finally being released made you want to wince, but you stayed quiet because you knew he'd feel awful about hurting you, even unintentionally.

Ben frantically ran his fingers through his tangled hair, exhaling a loud shuddering breath.

You took hold of his hand, bringing it up to place a kiss on his knuckles. "It was just a dream."

Ben frowned, "Yeah..."

It was more than just a dream. It was a memory that was even more fucked up being replicated by his subconscious every time he closed his eyes. There were nights where it wasn't so bad, but it was almost always the same...

Ben was in a large room, every inch decorated in a way that would make you think you were in a rich person's mansion. The walls covered with ornate looking wallpaper, the burning fireplace giving the gold patterns a reflective shine. It felt cramped, fancy furniture filling the room that emitted an old, sweet musk that permeated his nostrils. It might've been a cool place to hang out in, if only he wasn't trying to fight for his life.

The walls were closing in as Ben's mental timer counted down, only seconds away from getting crushed to death along with all the expensive looking and fragile furniture, pieces of splintering wood getting lodged in his skin and shards of glass from the chandelier quickly slicing flesh and making him bleed a bright red.

Ben thought he had gotten all the clues, he could've sworn the code for the door was correct. But the walls didn't stop pushing further and further in. The doors wouldn't open. There was no escape. He could never escape...

But he did. He did escape that wretched Minos building and he was here with you, the sweet scent of your freshly washed hair relaxed him more than you could ever know. Just you sitting with him was enough most of the time, he appreciated you so much.

Ben allowed his eyes to close when he felt your soft skin against his, gently running your thumb across his knuckles. Sometimes he wondered if you were an actual angel sent down to help him overcome his PTSD, it felt like it in moments like these.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You voiced softly.

Ben slightly shook his head. "It's the same as always. There would be no point."

You noticed the sweat stains on his shirt and came up with an idea. "How about I run you a hot bath?"

Ben looked at you. "Why?"

You offered a small smile. "It'll help soothe you." And without another word, you pushed your duvet off and stood on the cool carpet, walking to the joint bathroom without waiting for an answer from Ben.

You turned the valve almost all the way to the left, got water soon flowing out of the faucet and quickly filling up the tub. You stepped back into the room to see Ben blankly staring off into space, most likely thinking about his dream over and over again like he usually does.

You didn't understand what he was going through, because you were never in that type of situation. You were never trapped in those escape rooms, and you hoped you never would. The way Ben described it to you, you wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy. You wished you knew exactly what he needed, but alas, you weren't a psychologist and you felt helpless when it came to his nightmares/flashbacks. But you did research soothing techniques for people with PTSD, and it helped some.

Whenever Ben had a horrible nightmare and couldn't escape his own head, he'd allow you to take the lead and you'd try your best to help calm his mind. And tonight, it was a hot bath.

You lead Ben into the bathroom like a toddler, gently undressing him and slowly easing him down to sit in the tub. You smiled softly when you heard him let out a sigh, the hot water feeling like heaven against his skin. But he didn't have to say anything to let you know he wanted you to sit with him, his big green puppy dog eyes were practically begging you.

You quickly undressed, not as gracefully as you undressed Ben, but you soon placed yourself to sit behind him. You wrapped your arms around his torso, and he instinctually relaxed against you, your warm skin proving to be more soothing than the hot water that engulfed the two of you.

You soon entangled your fingers in Ben's long, blonde locks, gently working out the knots from his bedhead and massaging his scalp. You smiled softly when you heard him let out a whiny sigh, feeling the muscles in his back finally untensing in your embrace.

"I hate these fuckin' goddamn nightmares..." Ben voiced.

"I know." You frowned, giving a soft kiss to his shoulder. "I know...I wish I could do more to help you."

Ben turned his head to look at you. "Hey..." He brought his hand up to caress your cheek. "Just being here, with me, is more than enough. I honestly don't think I'd be able to keep my sanity if it weren't for you."

You gently shook your head. "You're strong, Ben. You would be okay."

Ben frowned, turning his head back to stare forward. "I'm not as strong as you think I am."

"You are strong. I wouldn't even survive the stress of a situation like that."

"You'd never know until you were in that place. That was the whole point of that goddamn murder maze. Seeing what someone is capable of when their life is on the line." He huffed, tensing once again at the thought of being back at Minos.

You hugged him tighter, laying your head on his shoulder. "You won't have to deal with that evil place ever again, okay? You're safe now."

Ben chuckled bitterly. "Zoey wants me to fly to Manhattan with her, to try and take down Minos. I don't the universe has much safety in store for me any time soon."

"Ben, I thought we talked about this. You don't have to feel obligated to go with Zoey when you want to move on. It's not your fault if she's still stuck there."

"She saved my life. I owe her everything."

You sighed, you knew you couldn't talk him out of it. Now, life debts, you could understand well enough. Zoey was a sweet girl, a bit intense, but for a good reason. If Ben was going to help her take down Minos, you wanted to help too.

"I'm going with you."

Ben's eyes widened, quickly shaking his head, turning around in the tub to face you. "No. No, you can't. It's too dangerous. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to you."

"And I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something bad happened to you. If you're going, I'm going too, and you can't talk me out of it."

"Y/n..."

"I love you, Ben. And I'll be damned if I don't do anything I can to help you." You finally snapped.

Ben blushed, his lip trembling slightly as tears built up his in eyes once again. "I don't want you to go through what I had to. Minos is run by psychopaths and they'll do anything to people for money. I just want you to be safe, at any cost...I've never felt that way about someone before..."

You smiled softly, leaning towards him and placing your hands on his cheeks before fully connecting your lips with his. "As long as we're together," You started once you pulled away, "I believe we'll be okay."

Ben finally nodded, enveloping you in a tight hug and releasing a shaky sigh. "I hope so..."

~~~~~~~~~~

Ben is my boy, he is very precious so me😊

[kirinda-ondo]

You know him, you either love or hate him (or are moderately confused by my sudden dive into this hyperfixation); we're talking about Orko because I have a lot of feelings.

As a disclaimer, I am not gonna claim to be some kind of superfan. I am not aware of every single iteration of the lore and all of its secrets. I don't know anything about the DC comics. I'm only halfway through the 2002 series as of me writing this. I am not someone you want to have discussions on the wider Masters of the Universe.... universe with. However, after watching Revelation, the entire Filmation He-Man (and some of She-Ra, cause he was there too), and going on a deep dive of storybooks, annuals, and minicomics courtesy of He-Man.org and the lovely people who submitted their scans there, I do feel pretty qualified to at least talk about Orko.

So, with all that being said, I'd like to get into a little bit of backstory, if only for my followers who came to this blog for completely different things and are wondering where the hell my love for this funky little wizard dude came from all of a sudden. Truth is, Orko is actually one of my earliest faves! Mind you, I only had limited access to Masters of the Universe as a kid, only seeing a couple of rented VHS tapes and later getting my hands on a small pile of the Golden Books from Goodwill, but apparently it was enough for Orko to  imprint himself into my brain. However, also due to my limited exposure, he kind of got shifted to the back of my head as I got deeper into other things. I still knew for a fact I liked Orko a lot though, even if I couldn't quite remember why anymore.

And then Masters of the Universe: Revelation dropped on Netflix. I'm not gonna get into my opinions of that show lest I open a flood of irrelevant discourse (for those uninitiated, it is a bit... divisive, to say the least). However my feelings on the matter did encourage me to go and watch the original and well, holy shit I love Orko more now than I could have ever comprehended as a kid. He is THE quintessential underappreciated comic relief character I tend to gravitate towards, and then some.

But before I get into that, let me back up a bit and explain. Orko is a Trollan, a race of magical little dudes that are basically floating sweaters with hats and covered up faces. Out of these Trollans, Orko is an incredibly fucking OP archmage. Like, they straight up call him Orko the Great, he's so powerful. But then, he gets caught in a freak storm that whisks him away from his home dimension and into Eternia. Immediately, he runs into a young Prince Adam, who is trapped in a swamp/tar pit and needs rescuing. Orko, being the upstanding lad that he is, uses his magic to save him but in the process loses the item that allows him to focus his magic to the swamp (in the 80s version, it's a medallion, but in the 2002 series, it's a wand). Worse yet, the magic (and dare I say the very laws of physics) in Eternia works pretty much the opposite as it does in Trolla, so he's been incredibly nerfed.

So basically, Orko is trapped in a topsy-turvy world away from friends and family, a world with magic he is fundamentally incompatible with. Ouch. He's not completely screwed, however, as he is rewarded by the king and queen for his heroism and appointed... the court jester. Double ouch. He surprisingly doesn't seem to mind though. He genuinely does enjoy entertaining people, even when his tricks only ever work like half the time because he's basically a Mac program trying to run on a Windows computer.

It's not all horrible though, as he does quite literally get adopted by the royal family  and thus sort of become the entire palace's weird son/little brother (despite being older than many of them. He's very, very child-coded largely for the purposes of being a stand-in and example lesson to the actual children watching). But also, more importantly, he becomes one of the very select few to know that Adam and He-Man are one and the same.

But outside of secret-keeping, he is actually a pretty valuable ally to have against Skeletor and his dudes because even though his magic is kind of screwed up, when it does work, he's still one of the most powerful mages on Eternia. In various materials, he's created floods, a second winter, and hell, he can literally explode himself and still be perfectly fine. He's also really clever and can weasel his way out of a number of situations. In one episode, for instance, he manages to convince someone that he's He-Man and Adam is his "assistant" in order to free him from captivity so the day has a better chance of actually being saved.  He's also got the ability to just be really frustrating and incomprehensible to the point that villains who capture him sometimes either don't want him or don't know what to do with him anymore, which is honestly really funny. In an episode of She-Ra, the villains tried to scan his brain but because the inner machinations of his mind are that much of an enigma, he got diagnosed a weirdo and broke the entire machine. Absolutely delightful.

However, there's a lot more to Orko than just comedy and bungled magic. He's actually surprisingly complex!

See, going into this, I expected Orko's whole situation be played entirely for laughs while the sadder implications of his existence go entirely unaddressed. Coming off the heels of characters like Cobalt and others I enjoy, I'm used to this sort of treatment by writers. But they actually don't do that. The depressing subtext is for once, actually TEXT, which was INCREDIBLY surprising to me. We actually get to see another side of him, a side that hates that he can't be taken seriously no matter what he does, a side that is well aware of all the trouble he causes and feels like a burden to those around him. He actually runs away on multiple occasions, fully believing that he's unloved and everyone would be better off without him, even if that couldn't be further from the truth (a point which the Sorceress hammers home with multiple straight up magical video presentations, and in the 2002 series, a literary adaptation, of why he is loved and important).

Underneath all the hyping himself up that he does, there's a lot of insecurity. He's someone who desperately wants to be loved and respected and feels that without funny magic tricks to entertain people, he has no inherent value (which is incredibly relatable if you are also known by people as The Funny One). At one point he agrees with the notion that he doesn't feel like much more than a pet, which is absolutely heartbreaking. Even when he gets the ability to go back and forth between Eternia and Trolla, his feelings of inadequacy now extend toward his family, worrying that his own uncle, the one who taught him everything he knows and greatly contributed to him being Orko the Great back home in the first place, wouldn't be proud of him. Being on Eternia highkey wrecked his shit, man.

However, even when given the opportunity to go back home for good, he always chooses to stay because he's loyal as hell. Even if he needs some reminders, he does know he's needed not just in the fight against evil, but just because his friends and newfound family genuinely love him. It's heartbreaking, but also incredibly wholesome. I did not even remotely expect a comic relief character like this to get this much depth and respect from the writers, especially not from the incredibly campy and cheaply animated 80s series. I am genuinely so unused to this.

But I think that's also what separates him a bit from his fellow Silly Kid Appeal Characters That Kids Fucking Hate ala Snarf Thundercats or Scrappy Doo. He not only makes a concerted effort to be an actually useful ally, but he's also in fact very self-aware of his status as one of these characters. He knows he screws up a lot but he actually tries to accept responsibility and fix it. It makes me wanna root for the lil dude. Now I understand if someone isn't a fan of the brand of humor he brings to the table, or feel like he's simply a distraction from the Cool Buff Dudes Fighting Each Other, but I hope you can see why he might also be a really appealing character to other people, both kids and adults alike. I mean, he was popular enough to be embedded into the canon despite originating from the cartoon and not the toyline for a reason, after all.

Orko is a fun, entertaining, but also complex, heartwarming, and relatable character. I know there is a faction of people that would disagree with me, but I don't think you need to change him all that much or make him a super serious character to be more appealing. He's already got a lot going on that a writer could easily work with. It all just depends on where you decide to focus. Take a lesson from the show and accept that he's fine just the way he is.

[magicalgirlartist]

West City Public Library, Part 30: Red Ribbon

Summary: A censorship group has set their sights on WCPL. Bulma 100% doesn't need this right now. Word Count: 4370 Notes: I tried to be fair because this is a real-world issue but like. Have you guys ever seen the ALA or CLA top banned/challenged books lists they're a fucking joke. From the ALA alone, Drama by Raina Telgemeier and George by Alex Gino were #2 and #3 respectively in 2016 for including LGBT+ characters. The Holy Bible was #6 in 2015 for, I shit you not, "religious viewpoint." Two Boys Kissing was at #5 in 2016, up from #10 in 2015, for LGBT+ content and "other," including "condoning public displays of affection." I wish I was kidding, guys.

You can probably see why I, a liberal lesbian librarian, had a hard time painting these people as anything other than strawmen. I have met people like this; I work with people like this. So tough cookies.

(I will say, however, that this was written before the ALA's 2016 list had come out, so it's not super well reflected here.)

Krillin plastered his best customer service smile on his face and tried to tamp down his urge to scream. "I'm sorry you feel that way, sir. I'll take it under advisement."

The man slammed the novel on the desk and Krillin allowed himself some pride in the fact that he didn't flinch. "Under advisement isn't good enough! Leaving this book around where children could get at it...it's disgusting."

"Sir, Go Ask Alice is part of our teen collection." Krillin picked the book up and gently placed it on the ever-growing pile of books people had challenged at his desk. "So not only is this technically the wrong department, it's not going to be taken out by anyone with a children's library card. Our system is set up so that children can only take books and other materials from the children's section--"

"But a teen or adult could take it out and leave it lying around where a child could read it," the man argued. "Besides, it shouldn't even be in the teen section. It shouldn't be here at all."

"The teen section is a perfectly reasonable place for Go Ask Alice." Krillin turned to Namu, who was very pointedly pretending to ignore the argument by typing up the Reader's Advisory department's program schedule for the month. "Namu, could you grab one of the challenge forms for me? I can't reach from here."

"It is not." The man drew himself up to his full height and Krillin grimaced. Why did people always do that to him? He got it, he was short, they didn't have to rub it in, geez. "It contains heavy drug use, sex, and teenage pregnancy. It's absolutely inappropriate for anyone under the age of eighteen."

"Just a second, sir." Krillin took the form from Namu and grabbed a pen. "Alright, so, Go Ask Alice, on...Namu, what's the date today?"

"The fourteenth."

"Thanks." He handed the pen and paper to the man on the other side of the desk. "Sir, if you'd fill out this form for me with your reasons for wanting to have this item removed from our collection, we'll take it into consideration."

"Into consideration?" The man bristled, wrinkling his nose. "No, it has to be gone, do you understand? Gone completely."

"I don't think you understand how the process works," Krillin said gently. "When a complaint is made, the book goes under review with the employees of the affected department as well as administration and the appropriate members of the library board. Together, they discuss what to do, and a decision is made. I can't just outright remove books from shelves on my own authority." He smiled apologetically. "This is the best I can do. But I promise it'll be looked into."

The man hesitated, then nodded. "Well. Thank you, I guess." He picked up the pen, his sleeve riding up his arm as he wrote. Krillin caught a glimpse of something red around his wrist and grimaced. Oh. So that's what this was. Couldn't just be some conservative kook, no, it had to be one of these guys. He forced his customer service smile back onto his face when the man handed the form back. "There."

"Thank you, Mister, uh..." Krillin glanced at the sheet. "Blue. I'll get this looked at as soon as I can."

"I'll be checking back in on the status of the inquiry," Blue warned.

Krillin's smile never wavered. "Of course. Have a nice day."

Thankfully, he seemed to take that as an indication to leave. Krillin slumped into his chair and let his smile drop, a scowl twisting his features instead. "I hate everything about today."

Namu patted his shoulder as he walked past. "You did great. I'm going on break."

Krillin sighed and reached for the phone. This needed to end, and fast.

"They call themselves the Red Ribbon Army."

Krillin scrolled down the webpage open on his tablet. "According to their website, they're 'crusaders for safety,' but really all they do is annoy people. Red Ribbon members identify themselves by wearing a red ribbon around their wrists and using colour code names." He shifted through the stack of challenge forms. "In the last month, they've been submitting constant complaints to Reader's Advisory, Children and Youth Services, and Info Services. The only reason we know it's them is because they all sign their forms with things like Blue, Silver, Black, and Yellow. I haven't seen anyone named Red yet, though."

"Have all the complaints been from them?" Bulma asked.

"No," Yamcha piped up. "I got one the other day from a law student named Todd who said one of the books we had about preparing for the bar exam was out of date and useless. That's a legitimate complaint and I told him I'd bring it up."

Bulma nodded. "We'll definitely replace that one with something more up to date. But is that really it? Are the rest of them from these Ribbon guys?"

"They even put it on their website." Krillin handed her his tablet. "Apparently they're against libraries, because we allow access to 'unsavory' material."

Bulma snorted as she scanned the tablet. "Unsavory? It's nothing you couldn't find at your local big chain bookstore. Or on the internet, even." She tossed the tablet on the table and looked around at the rest of them. "Ideas?"

"We could always just ban them," Recoome suggested.

"We can't ban everybody who asks us to make sure our collection is up to date and appropriate," Yamcha said. "If we did that, we'd have to ban Todd, too, and he hasn't done anything wrong."

"Can we streamline the process a little?" Piccolo asked. "Dragging everybody into a meeting to discuss a book is time consuming, especially if we have to get the board in on it."

"That's a good short-term solution." Bulma crossed her arms and rested them on her stomach. "But it won't stop them from coming in constantly."

"How about a change to the challenge policy?" Yamcha asked. "We can say that only one complaint can be made per person per month. That'd force them to slow down, at least."

"Make them leave their library card number with their name, too," Krillin added. "That way we can check to make sure they're not just going to a different department."

"Oh! Oh!" Recoome waved his arm in the air. "Make it so they can only challenge a book if they have a valid card! If they ain't a patron they ain't got no right to demand we change our collection!"

Krillin blinked up at him. It was surprisingly well thought out for Recoome. Usually he just sort of blundered around.

Bulma glanced at Jaco. "You're getting all this, right?"

Jaco paused his frantic scribbling to glare at her. "I'm an elite assistant for a reason."

"Just checking. So, boys." Bulma steepled her fingers and looked at the ceiling in thought. "We're going to make three changes to the challenge policy: only patrons can submit challenges, no more than one challenge per patron per month, and we meet no more than once a month to discuss the books." She counted each change off on her fingers as she said them. "We're also going to ask the board if we can oversee the challenges without their help. Honestly, I'm not sure how well that's going to go over, but I can at least ask. And if we're not meeting too often, the time commitment shouldn't be as high." Bulma looked around. "That about cover it?"

"Hey, um, question." Yamcha raised his hand. "What's to stop them all from getting library cards just to make complaints all the time?"

Bulma shrugged. "Nothing. But at least this way we can keep track better."

Yamcha grimaced. "Remind me to apologise to Tien later. His department might get real busy soon."

"Can we stop being so nice to them if they were assholes first?" Piccolo asked.

Recoome glared at him. "Guess."

"Worth a shot," Piccolo muttered. "What if they're complaining to me about same-sex relationships? Or Yamcha, for that matter? Are we allowed to laugh in their faces or what?"

Bulma giggled and Recoome glared at her, exasperated. "Oh, come on," she said, "you have to admit that'd be great."

"No laughing," Recoome said, shaking his head. "But if they start using slurs, call Recoome and we'll get them banned."

Krillin breathed a sigh of relief and thanked his lucky star that Recoome was here now instead of Cell. Sure, Recoome sometimes spoke in the third person and he was kind of terrifying and he was a loudmouthed idiot. But at least he wasn't Cell.

Piccolo fixed the man with the deadest, blankest face he could manage. "You can't be serious."

The man pointed at the book on the desk, face red with anger. "What part of this don't you understand? This book promotes sinful relationships--"

"It's about penguins," Piccolo interrupted, picking up the book in question and flashing the cover at the man. "Penguins. It's a picture book based on a real story about two real penguins who really raised a chick together in a real zoo. Here, I can look it up for you."

"They're HOMOSEXUAL penguins!" The man folded his arms, giving Piccolo a good look at the ribbon tied around his wrist. Out of the corner of his eye, Piccolo saw Chiaotzu lean over the Circulation desk to see who was shouting about gay penguins at two in the afternoon. Well, at least someone was entertained. "You can't put homosexual characters in a picture book! Think of the children!"

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Piccolo folded his hands and reminded himself that Recoome would kill him if he punched a patron. "Sir, I'd like you to check the date on your phone and remind yourself what year it is."

"You're treating this serious issue like a joke," the man snapped.

"That's because it kind of is."

"I want to speak to your supervisor!"

Piccolo grinned. "I am the supervisor." From the office, he heard Selri giggle, and he mentally patted himself on the back. "Look," he said as the man started turning red again, "I'll get you a form and we'll put it on our 'challenged' list. It'll go in for review."

"Good." The man nodded, smug now that he'd seemingly gotten what he wanted. "I don't see why you had to be so--"

"When we're done reviewing it," Piccolo continued, like the man hadn't spoken, "it'll go back on the shelf where it belongs, because it's the 21st century, gay people exist, gay parents exist, with children, and hey, gay children exist, and maybe they'd like to see a little something of themselves or their parents in a book, or maybe their parents love them and want them to know that same sex relationships are okay, and this book can give them the tools to have that discussion. Or maybe they just want to read a picture book about penguins. The point is, you aren't the first person to contest this book, you won't be the last, I haven't had coffee in over an hour, I am cranky, I forgot where this sentence was going. Libraries only remove items from the collection for very specific reasons and this case fits none of them. We're not going to ban a book because some guy thinks same-sex relationships are too 'adult' for children." He tossed the book on a pile, folded his arms, and stared the man down. He'd said his piece. Recoome could chew him out later if he wanted, but he'd said his piece.

The man narrowed his eyes. "Give me the form."

Piccolo shrugged. "Alright. But you're wasting your time and mine." He stuck his head into the office. "Selri, grab me one of the new challenge forms and go help Mai with today's craft, alright? Looks like I'll be away from the program room longer than I thought." The girl nodded, blue hair bouncing around her face, and handed him a sheet of paper before ducking out of the office. She smiled at the man on the other side of the desk as she passed. He ignored her. "So, if you could just fill this out, we'll be on our way." Piccolo slid the form and a pen across the desk and stepped back.

"Fine." The man snatched up the pen and started writing. Piccolo sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. God he hated his job some days.

"Is this a bad time?"

Glancing over, Piccolo let himself smile when he saw Nail approaching the desk. "No, it's fine. Hi." Nail stopped on the other side of the desk, next to the man with the ribbon. He always kept his distance while Piccolo was working, at Piccolo's request--he was still on the clock, and some modicum of professionalism had to be maintained. Besides, Piccolo had never been one for public displays of affection.

A thought occurred to him. "Dende's not here today."

Nail grinned and hefted the bag on his shoulder. "I'm not here for Dende. I have the rest of the day off, so I'm here working on a group project for school. Just thought I'd stop by and say hello to my boyfriend first."

Piccolo flushed--he still wasn't used to having someone call him their boyfriend--and glanced at the man filling out the form. He'd raised his head and was squinting between the two of them.

A decision was made, and Piccolo leaned across the desk to brush his lips against Nail's cheek. "Thanks," he said, pulling back. "I'm done my shift at six; want to go for dinner after? Since you have the day off."

Nail was blushing and Piccolo bit the inside of his cheek. Nail never blushed. He was so cute; how had it taken him so long to figure out he was in love with him? "I--yeah. I'll come back here around six and we can head out?"

"Sounds good. Thanks for coming to see me." Piccolo squeezed Nail's hand. "See you at six."

"Six. Yeah." Still blushing, Nail turned and scarpered towards the stairs.

Piccolo turned back to the man from the Red Ribbon Army. "All set? I'll take that." He deftly picked up the form and set it on the pile. "Anything else I can help you with?"

Glowering at Piccolo, the man turned away. "No."

Piccolo stretched as the man walked off. He thought he'd handled that fairly well. He glanced over the form. "Oh, sir," he called after him. "Mr. White, you forgot your library card number."

White turned around and glared at Piccolo with open contempt. "I don't have one."

"Then I'm afraid you can't file a challenge." Piccolo shrugged and tossed the form into the recycling bin under the desk. "Library policy."

"What?" White stalked back over to the desk. "I've never had this problem before."

"Recently a change has been made to the policy," Piccolo said smoothly. "Library card numbers need to be written on the forms for our files." The practised words flowed easily, and for once Piccolo was actually grateful for Jaco's pedantic ass making them all memorize patron interaction scripts before changing the policy. "If you don't have a library card, you can't file a challenge."

White jabbed his finger at Piccolo's chest. "You can't do that. You're making it up to make me look bad."

"Sir, you're doing a fine enough job of that all on your own." Piccolo mentally kicked himself. Antagonising a patron never went well for him.

Sure enough, White puffed himself up and raised his voice. "You can't treat me--a patron--like this! I demand to speak to whoever's in charge."

"First of all, without a library card you're not really a patron," Piccolo pointed out. "Just a guest, really." He sat down and reached for the phone. "And I'm sure our Human Resources representative would love to speak with you."

Jaco stuck his head into Recoome's office. "More forms for you."

Recoome held out his hand. "Thank you. Recoome didn't realise banning someone for screaming profanities about an employee was such a boring process."

"Yeah, it's a little more complicated than just having Upa and Bora escort him from the premises." Jaco leaned in the doorway. "How're you getting on so far? Crazy shit to have happen in your first week."

"Could be worse. You should see what Recoome had to deal with over at City Hall. Everyone was backstabbing each other all the time." Recoome shrugged. "Some guy yelling at me about having a gay guy working in the children's section is pretty tame in comparison."

"You only say that because it wasn't really directed at you," Jaco pointed out. "It was directed at Piccolo."

Recoome grunted. "Probably. Well, it might make Recoome's job harder, but hopefully everyone else's job is easier now."

Jaco edged into the room and reached for Recoome, hesitating before patting his shoulder. "I don't know if anyone else has said anything yet, but I for one am glad you're here. Our old HR guy was...a problem."

He was rewarded with a giant grin that was missing a few teeth. "Thank you."

Jaco patted his shoulder a couple more times before backing off. "Well, I should get back to work. Good luck with Red Ribbon."

"Recoome will need it," he sighed, shifting through the forms.

"Well, on the bright side, library memberships have gone up, but because these assholes aren't actually taking out any books our borrowing statistics are skewed." Tien shook his head and poked at his tablet. "I get that this was the only solution they could come up with, but it's making our department look bad."

Chiaotzu patted his shoulder. "Don't worry about it. Bulma knows what's going on, and she'll keep that in mind when you send the statistics report. Hopefully this will blow over soon now that we all know about it."

"I hope so." Tien set the tablet down and stretched out his back. "I'm going to the cafe for break. Want anything?"

"Coffee, two sugars." Chiaotzu glanced at the doorway to the Circulation office. "And a new coworker."

"Har, har. Shu's doing his best." Tien patted Chiaotzu's back and headed towards the front doors. "I'll see you in a bit." He pulled out his phone as he walked, no doubt to text Yamcha and ask if he wanted anything at the Ox Cafe, too. Chiaotzu sighed. Honestly, when Tien and Yamcha finally started going out, he'd been a little worried that he'd be losing his best friend to a relationship. Thankfully, that hadn't happened, but it was still a little weird seeing Tien and Yamcha nearly attached at the hip when he'd always been the one attached to Tien.

Well, whatever, it was nice to see Tien happy. And he wouldn't want to see them break up for anything.

"Where's Tien?"

Grimacing, Chiaotzu looked up at Shu. "On break. Why?"

"I need someone to check my shelving cart before I take it out."

Chiaotzu stood up. "I can do that. You watch the desk for a minute; I'll be right back." He propped his hands on his hips. "And remember, if someone with a red ribbon comes to the desk, you...?"

"Ask them what book they'd like to complain about and send them to the appropriate desk." Shu rattled off the instructions like they'd been drilled into his head, which they practically had been by Recoome and Jaco.

"Good." Chiaotzu scurried into the back room. Shu could organise a book cart faster than any of the other pages they'd ever had, and he was usually mostly accurate, but he was inaccurate enough of the time that someone still had to check for him. He grabbed the footstool in the corner and started checking the spine labels.

Surprisingly, Shu had only messed up once, and it was an easy oversight to make. Chiaotzu hopped off the stool and gestured to the cart. "All yours. Only one slipup today! Good job!"

Shu beamed at him. "Thanks! Okay, I'll be in the stacks then!" And off he went.

Chiaotzu wandered back out to the front desk and grabbed Tien's tablet. He added another cart to the day's tally and was about to start compiling a pick list for Shu to work on when he was done when a voice interrupted him.

"You work here, right?"

He bit back his automatic response of "what makes you say that, smartass?" and instead looked up. A middle-aged Japanese man leaned on the desk. A flash of red under purple sleeves caught Chiaotzu's eye and he sighed. "Yes," he said. "Can I help you?"

"I need a library card. This the right desk?"

"Absolutely." Chiaotzu fished around for a new card form. With all the Red Ribbon people lately, they were starting to run low on forms. He'd have to photocopy a few more. "Fill this in. I'll also need some ID with your address."

The man fished out his wallet and handed Chiaotzu a driver's license before methodically filling out the form. Chiaotzu tried not to sigh as he went into the back to photocopy the license. Yet another Red Ribbon here to mess up their statistics and waste people's time. Fantastic.

By the time he got back, the man had finished filling in his form and Chiaotzu handed him his license back. "Thanks. Let me just get this set up." Tien often said Chiaotzu was the best at setting up new patrons in the system, and Chiaotzu was proud of that fact, but he took his sweet time with the Red Ribbon people. "Sorry for the wait," he lied. He held up his hands. "Tiny fingers."

The man--Murasaki, according to his form--laughed. "Not to worry!"

Chiaotzu shrugged and went back to work, pulling a new card out of the desk drawer they were kept in and scanning the barcode to connect it with Murasaki's account. "Okay, so sign on the white strip here and you're good to go." Chiaotzu handed him the card and sat back.

"Excellent. Thanks!" Murasaki scribbled his name down and handed the card back to Chiaotzu. "I'd also like to take out a few things."

Chiaotzu blinked. This was the first time he'd ever seen a Red Ribbon member actually borrow anything. "Oh. Okay. Hand them over, I guess." He opened the circulation software and scanned Murasaki's card again.

Murasaki deposited a grocery bag full of picture books on the desk. He grinned sheepishly when Chiaotzu raised an eyebrow. "I'm babysitting my grandkids tomorrow," he explained. Chiaotzu nodded and reached for them.

If nothing else, at least this guy wasn't going to screw their statistics up any further.

Bulma tossed a newspaper onto the desk proudly. "Never underestimate the power of press," she gloated.

Jaco picked it up. "'Shushed No Longer: the Growing Book Banning Problem at WCPL,'" he read. He looked up at Bulma. "What did you do?"

"Called in a few favours," she said smugly. "I know a guy who works at the paper, and he got them to run an article about our problem."

"'Libraries have always stood for freedom of information,'" Jaco read aloud, "'but they've also always come under attack by groups who disagree with their materials. Even in this progressive age, there are people who want to dictate the types of materials West City Public Library can and can't have on their shelves. According to WCPL CEO Bulma Briefs, this has been an increasing problem lately.'"

"I never referred to the Red Ribbon Army by name," she explained. "That'd just give them credibility. But they ran this article two days ago and we haven't had a single issue since. And you should see the comments online! We actually have the public's support for once!"

Jaco shook his head. "Congratulations. You solved book banning."

"Don't be like that." Bulma crossed her arms. "I know this is just a temporary solution. But at least I got things to quiet down a little before I go away on maternity leave." She gestured at the paper. "How would you like to be the one dealing with all that while I'm off having my baby?"

"Alright, fine. Thank you." Jaco handed the newspaper back. "You know, one of these days you're going to get yourself in trouble trying to solve things like this by yourself."

Bulma shrugged and started to shuffle back towards her office. "I figure if I'm gonna piss people off, go big or go home."

"Okay, so, um, sir. If you could just calm down--"

"Calm down? Calm down?" Red's face was the colour of his namesake. "You tell me I'm not allowed to file a challenge against this...this filth, and you want me to calm down?"

"Library policy," Yamcha started, "states that only one challenge can be made--"

"Per person, per month, I heard you, I'm not stupid." Red sneered. Yamcha folded his arms and kept his face as blank as possible. "But that's a stupid fucking policy and I want to know who I complain to about it!"

"You can always submit a comment on our website," Yamcha suggested, hoping it would get Red to leave him alone.

"On your website." Red scoffed. "Do you know who I am? Do you have any idea who you're dealing with?"

Yamcha looked at the record still up on his screen. "According to our records, you're Red Sosui, you just got a card last week, and you've already filed a complaint this month, at Reader's Advisory, about A Wrinkle in Time, which was the wrong department by the way--"

"I'm the leader of the Red Ribbon Army," Red growled.

Yamcha nodded. "Oh, that hate speech group. We've had to ban a few of your members already for harassing staff. If you keep causing a scene I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Red drew himself up to his full height (which wasn't much), snarled "This is not the end of this," and stormed out.

Yamcha shook his head and added a note to Red's record about the altercation. "I'm pretty sure it is," he muttered.

[greaterthannine-blog]

Eccentricity

When You Care For Something So Much And It's Constantly On Your Mind,

 Is That Not Insanity?

 But Don't Adoration and Determination Deserve Nothing Less?

CONTEMPLATING AND FORMULATING the next who-knows-how many years of life beyond high school has been a moderately [okay extraordinarily] daunting task. Reflecting on my primary and secondary school careers, my life began and ended with K-12; I had never legitimately invested time or thought into what would make my life fulfilling! Having such a painfully structured pathway leading up to May 2017 was the only future I had concretely envisioned. I didn't consider my passions, my interests, my dreams, or what my life would look like after the demise of my minor years. Alright, sure, I knew what my interests were, but I surely didn't know which occupation(s) I wished to pursue, what I wanted to accomplish, what I needed to do to be content! But let's face it, only one in eight billion people sincerely know their genuine life-long desires, and what their lives will be beyond childhood. And those people are shits. Brilliant shits! But alas, still shits.

But I can't help wondering, why can't I be one of those shits? Just a late blooming shit? I've confirmed my interests; arrowed my passions; created goals and ultimate fantastical aspirations, even those from my single digit days; and now I am bent on achieving those objectives almost to obsession. I don't want regrets; I cannot have regrets. I've already accumulated three colossal ones in my eighteen almost nineteen years, and I refuse to bear another. And if at all possible, I will do my utmost to remedy those which I already possess.

While not one of the gargantuan regrets [I'll discuss those in subsequent paragraphs], an overarching regret I have is not staying true to my personal style. This one was much more applicable during middle school [in regards to fashion anyways, petty social extremities were the primary explanation for that era]. Being one of the few Asian people, let alone half-Asians, I really felt myself an outsider in those three godforsaken years, and in attempt to feel a shred of belonging I conformed; I did what was "cool" and "acceptable" and whatever trends were in and what the "popular" kids were into. You know, the formative years of the "basic" stereotype, plein de jeggings, fleece-lined Under Amour hoodies, and the first steps to what I call the Starbucks Epidemic, where sugary froth reigned and still remains supreme over palpable coffee. Heinous times am I right? But nonetheless, should be acknowledged.

That in mind, I did what I could to learn about being Chinese, Chinese American and both their histories, particularly through school projects almost to the point of eccentricity. For my IB Personal Project I studied historical Chinese ceramics and created my own pieces mimicking those dynastic styles. My IB History Internal Assessment focused on the American Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882, and my IB Extended Essay compared that exclusion act with Canada's equivalent Chinese Immigration Act of 1923, as well as their causes, implementations, implications and consequences. And while that was all well and good, it really wasn't enough. I was still alone in my endeavor, and there's only so much you can learn about Chinese and Chinese-American history smack-dab in the middle of the United States. I knew I needed more exposure, more information, and help in doing so. 

Though regarding my three largest regrets, in these next few months I'll begin the painstaking process of rectifying my mistakes; amending my decisions and fright of my younger days, the largest of which is my heritage, and particularly that on my Chinese side. I've always been proud of my ethnicity; there is seldom doubt about that. While this isn't the most commendable attribute, I recall many occasions where I tooted my naïve horn and frankly bragged about my half Chinese and half Italian genetic code. However, that boasting was also because I felt alone; I yearned recognition, both from my peers and community but also from other Chinese, other Asians, and other half-Asians. Yet the difference between me and them was I was the only fourth-generation American in town, with a diluted sense of Chinese tradition and culture, and not a smeck of Cantonese to boot, while everyone else had a parent from their ethnic Asian country of origin. I felt like a fake, like I was performing a ruse, and I hated it, so I tried to convey my validity as an Asian by tossing the term left and right.... When in reality I felt inadequate, and that I wasn't welcome anywhere. That insecurity was reinforced when fellow Chinese people relayed their true opinions on my situation: That because I, "don't speak Chinese," and, "haven't been to China," I am not, "really Chinese." I already knew that of course, despite the sympathy of family and friends, but it really hit the noggin hard when another Chinese person said it aloud, and boy did I feel like a lying, indecent, dishonest schmuck. What cheer!

And for those reasons among a galaxy of others, I decided to take a gap year in hopes of connecting with my family, my culture and my heritage overall; of exploring and discovering what it means to be Chinese-American and how my experiences and perspectives are significant. If you know me person-to-person, beyond the confines of this digital space, I spoke of a program that my mother joined back in the 1980's to do just what I described above. While that program no longer exists, there is a modern equivalent based in San Francisco called Friends of Roots, to which I applied for their 2018 year. Indeed, it is a fairly petite program, but their work is incredible, and in addition to the copious research, in July Friends of Roots takes participants to their Chinese ancestral villages. In China. Now how fucking neat is that? That being said, I am more than exuberantly delighted to announce that those dreams will come to fruition, and have been accepted into the soon-to-be-commencing 2018 cohort! I mean, I just found out a week ago I was accepted. Imagine what an ordeal waiting for that decision was. I was bouncing off walls.

Now, this is where the Grand Move comes into play [you know, like The Grand Tour, but not]. Because the program is run in San Francisco, California, I will be schlepping my life off to the Bay in order to freely and easily participate in all this program's intensities. Thankfully, my entire family extended family resides in either the Bay [or LA], so the territory is completely familiar, and I'll have a place to stay for the duration of the program. Though I should add, because I aim to attend university in California, the likelihood of my returning to Colorado for extended periods of time is slim. So to my friends whom I haven't had a chance to bid farewell: I bid farewell, and you are incredible people; keep doing what you're doing and keep your head held high. That's what I intend to do, so let's do it together.

[tumblunni]

Also HELL YES FOR CASUAL PLAYER LOVE

Im so happy to hear that Let's Go is indeed INTENTIONALLY designed to be "more casual" and everything these super anti-casual conpetitive players are complaining about was intentionalky put in there cos the developers legit think its better. THANK YOU!

i dunno man it just seems like we NEVER heae about the developers doing anything for the fans unless its enablibg competitive play or iv breeding or whatever. Like those are the only definitions of "fans" that interviewers seem to care about. And Its hard to know what the developers really think when the questions that are asked leave out a huge componant of the fanbase, yknow?

And uhh.. I mean its just good to specificially know that theyre okay with casual fans existing, like not just "its for kids" but "hey you are not bad if you are an adult who also enjoys the game for its intended appeal points and not for a huge mega complicated mathematical metagame people made up to be 'more mature'". I was really surprised to see that written interview with masuda specifically mentioning IV breeding as the place where conpetitive goes too far and makes the game not fun anymore. "Pokemon wasn't meant to be a game about hatching eggs and nothing else." Like.. Playing competitively itself is not bad, i dont wanna sound like i hate hardcore fans and im a big ol jerk. I admire the dedication because it all seems so super unattainable and mathematically magical to me! Im not into that stuff but i can admire that you have to be a damn genius to achieve all that stuff. BUT i also get what he's saying. Because it sucks when you HAVE to be a damn genius to EVEN START PLAYING! Whenever high level competitive strats become the goddamn baseline it makes competitive completely inaccessable to everyone except the most hardcore of the hardcore, and its like damn man how do you even become that if you have no way to start practising? Iv breeding is so INSANE in retrospect! Like when you think about it, its wild that people even cracked the code for how to game the system and get the highest possible randomized stats for every ridiculously minor thing. Like how the fuck did they even figure out any of this?? And then all the further madness into figuring out how to attain it and how to raise odds of shinys and hidden abilities and how they keep figuring out new ways to do it with every new system each game brings out. And then people will spend friggin LITERAL DAYS OF REAL TIME running up and down the same road in the game, hatching thousands of eggs just to get the one mathematically superior pokemon from a confluence of random events. And this is treated as fuckin REQUIRED to play the game! You can't touch competitive if you dont do it. And these bad sorts of competitive players will try and force this requirement onto other non-competitive parts of the game, and shame casual players for not doing it even though its literally not what they want to play the game for.

Seriously, man! Individual values were just designed to make individual pokemon more random, so the play experience would seem more unique to each run. It was literally invented for a "casual" reason! It just really sucks that they implimented it in a way that had an objective "best" value to get, so people ignored the whole point of "adding personality" and just wanted that one. Tho i mean at least they patched out the early issue where gender and shinyness were linked to these values so you couldnt get certain types of pokemon as the "best" version and it was even more limiting. Glad that GSC didnt have online metagame yet, lol! (Tho it makes it possible for people to more easily predict which pokenon will become Shiny when transferred from rby to gsc, which is neat.)

ANYWAY WHERE WAS I

Oh yeah! I appreciate that each generation of games lately has made it easier to see your IVs and EVs and to get them to their "best" versions, with even the FUCK YEAH feature pf being able to "fix" bad IVs on level 100 pokemon. I carried my Sneasel named Reaper since RSE and he's been completely unuseable for so long and bottlecaps fixed that! Kid me just played the game like he was my starter and i loved him. I didnt know about IVs or EVs, so i took this terribly-statted dude with a bad ability and made him fight all the wrong pokemon because he is my best friend and he needs to win every gym battle and i will buy him lemonades afterward. Also he wore the Blackglasses item forever cos i thougjt itd be cool if you could put accessories on your pokemon. So yeah i did Everything Wrong and thus all the pokemon i actually cared about were made weak and useless by my love and i had to spend 48 hours running down a stupid road to hatch and abandon 1400 new ones just to get one that was "useable". Thanks to bottlecaps, this is no more! Decade old weasel pals can be revived! Tho still it sucks that i hit level 100 before this mon's evolution came out. Alas!

BUT

Like.. Even tho now its slightly less hard to make a "perfect" pokemon its still tedious as hell and really takes you out of the moment and you have to already know beforehand that its necessary. Kids are just gonna blunder in and not even know why they keep losing due to no fault of their own. Adults are gonna also do that. Seriously this isnt a "kiddy fans vs mature fans" or "non fans versus FANS" thing, this is just "fans who have one very specific skill for memorizing a bunch of numbers and steps and enduring hours of boredom doing it vs..people who think that kinda ruins the game". And even if nintendo fully streamlined the process into sonething easy, itd still feel like an unnecessary roadblock in the way of just getting to play the damn game. We really need to add some sort of hardcore/casual or iv breeding/no iv breeding thing to league divisions, as well as the tier lists. This is why im so hyped for the current "Spooky Cup", since it actually seems like a "just for fun" multiplayer experience, and its kinda dumb that we have to rely on nintendo actually programming limitations into a tournement cos the players refuse to allow anyone to just do it normally. I did a big whoop at "no mega stones" and "everyone gets a participation prize even if they lose"! And the limitations being a random event based thing rather than a skill cap! Yay ghost types!! Reminds me of the baby pokemon only tourneys in the n64 games. That was a kind of hardcore challenge that had a bit of creativity to it!

So anyway anyway what i'm getting at...

I'm just happy that the devs are saying "yes this is a casual game with more of what casual players want, and less of those hardcore limitations" and THATS NOT MEANT TO BE A NEGATIVE!! Actual developers sitting on a couch hugging giant pikachu plushies and saying this game is for people who just want a fun game about..well, hugging pikachus! They changed the way you catch pokemon because they wanted it to be more fun. They brought back following pokemon because fun. You get all these new features for your starter because they wanted you to really feel like a kid going on their first pokemon adventure and sharing all these special moments with pikachu! They talked about how the art style was decided upon because it was the closest to "how you imagined it in your head when you played pokemon yellow", and "if it was photorealistic it just wouldnt feel right". They picked eevee for the second option because they actually paid attention to the fans and which pokemon was the second most popular and had a similar "both cute and cool" appeal with all audiences. And they put the most effort into the visuals and the cuteness and making everything just feel like a good and fun adventure that recaptures everything you wanted as a kid playing the first game.

And they just act so unapologetically HAPPY about all these parts of the game! These are their favourite parts! They're the goddamn DEVELOPERS and even they say that they prefer the story and the characters and the relaxing childlike whimsy to the concept of refining gameplay to a ridiculous hardcore perfection and throwing out everything else in pursuit of that. And man, seeing them hugging the big pika and eev plushies in EVERY PROMOTIONAL VIDEO and just enjoying playing their own game so much!! And babbling on about dressing up your pokemon!!

God its just SO GOOD to see this as a fan who's been here since the very beginnibg and is starting to feel quite self concious about being an adult fan who isnt doing it "properly". Like man the pressure of hardcore competotive being the "only right way" started even when i was just 11, like seriously THE AGE THE ACTUAL TRAINERS ARE IN THE GODDAMN GAME. Before you even hit your teens you already got stuck up older kids telling you you were too old to just enjoy a game cos you enjoyed the damn game, noooo you have to make it as unfun as possible and only derive enjoyment from defeating other people. It took me until ORAS to actually even be able to try competitive at all, i found it so overwhelming until they added other methods to EV train. And even then i still felt like the blandness of the preparation outweighed any fun of playing these "higher level" battles. Like sure maybe some people like that stuff but it felt so dissappointing after all these years of being pressured to try it...

Sometimes its just good to enjoy a game cos you legit like the world and characters. Sometimes its just really validating to see the developers talking about enjoying making those things, cos it gives you permission to be less embarrassed about it. Sometimes its good to also see them hugging a hundred dollar giant pikachu while you hug your hundred dollar giant mimikyu. Cos seriously what is the point of being an adult if youre not allowed to buy these adult sized plushies? What kid could ever afford those! Im not letting my childhood dream pass me by just because ~maturity~ when im finally able to slap a fat wad of cash on the table and yell GIVE ME THE BIGGEST CHU

I will embrace all my pure childhood love and enjoy this game of just huggins and nothing else! And i really like this concept for the series, if they continue doing Let's Go as a spinoff so we'd have a set of games appealing to each of the casual and hardcore demographics. I always feel bad complaining about hardcore when really my actual opinion on it is just "its not for me" and im actually only complaining about the rude fans who tell me im not a real fan unless i like their genre of stuff. Dude i was three years old when pokemon came out, i think ive earned my right by seniority to hug a plushie or two! So itd be awesome if hardcore doods could get their super hardcore game too, and we could just argue less cos we'd each be able to enjoy what we enjoy. Tho i mean the main series games already have a pretty clear divide between story/fun being the main game and hardcore competitive being a postgame thing. And yet we still get all this fandom fightibg over "ignore the actual 90% of the game, skip the plotline and only play competitive" apparantly being the "real" way to play it. Like man im worried that attitude is still gonna stick arpund even if they do give us separate games appealing to each side of the fandom?

EHHH WHATEVER! Im just gonna sit here in my corner of casual hugs and work on my self confidence to be able to stop feeling bad about not being someone else's idea of a "real" fan. If real fans can't have pikachu in a little hat, then that is not the life i wanna lead!

LITTLE GODDAMN HAT, MY GUY