#but all i wanna do lately is sleep

[lilbittymonster]

It's been a hell of a week. Have an Aymeric.

[shukruut]

man chappell roan really said it best im so sick of online love

[thekidsarentalright]

i love having a hyperfixation that’s so like. basic and ubiquitous like my autistic ass can just remember music exists and be overcome w the most incredible joy. its the little things or w/e

[buggy-mars]

IM BACK! Well for the most part...

Sorry about the hiatus, for those who don't know I got a new job in the beginning of this year and it's been keeping me really busy. Not to mention my computer is not working... AGAIN

Anywaaaays I still doodle at work every now and then and was wondering if there is anything grunkle related that you guys would like me to draw?

Maybe Book of Bill related?

[skitskatdacat63]

"average person creates 3 new AUs per year" factoid actually just statistical error. average person makes 0 AUs per year. Alternate Universes Catie, who lives in cave & makes over 2 each month, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[bugmangaka]

But by making this comic I broke the streak!

In all seriousness, I have been beyond exhausted lately. Sometimes I try to put my pencil to paper and end up asleep on top of my drawing tablet. Too dang tired all the dang time!!!!!

[doubleedgemode]

I wanted to go on a drawing spree yesterday, but I could only muster these two before dozing off.

First one, even if I'm not that sure about how I drew her face shape in this angle (and most importantly I forgot her neck and torso bandages OOPS) I do really like how most of the drawing came out. And at least it isn't a bland bust this time, though I'm pretty sure I've already drawn a pose like this before. (Oh no the next drawing is a 3/4 bust again..)

Second, yesterday I saw an artist draw some of the coolest redesigns ever for a different media piece, and thought about the many awesome gg redesigns I often see so I wanted to give A.B.A a spin... Except I was out of ideas so most of this drawing is her regular design haha. I got too tired to even try to attempt to draw the rest of the body and half-assed the key but I like the vibes and pose (even if I.. think I made her neck a bit too long? Old habits die hard... Necks are my enemies when drawing!)

I like the idea of her having a key take on the classic frankenstein bolts (though wait, her head key is referred to as a screw. Would this also be a screw or key shaped bolts??-)

[ocularmacdown]

my dtamhd thoughts? oh, why thank you for asking! yeah, i only have a few, but uhh- *drops a towering stack of papers in front of you on the desk*

i really, really liked this episode. maybe it’s because i wasn’t going into it with set expectations or hopes, maybe it’s because dennis is not my number one blorbo and so his development is more fascinating to me rather than a personal/emotional investment. either way, to me this episode was a fucking winner and i have so many thoughts that haven’t even formulated yet. the writing is incredibly well-paced, subtle enough that the twist is not immediately obvious, yet explicit enough that watching it a second time, the clues are right in front of you the whole time. it’s fucking clever, and for me personally, it does justice to dennis’s very specific brand of mental health issues/neurodiversities/trauma/etc etc.

first of all, i’ve seen people saying they’re disappointed, that they wanted to see dennis fall to his knees or scream himself hoarse or crawl into mac’s arms with his tail between his legs. but…,..like.,..i mean..,,,.he literally tore a man’s heart out of his chest? and then crushed it with so much force that it becomes a diamond? and then he ATE it? with blood running down his arms and the sun haloing him and the watch on his arm lit up red for “danger, you’re in danger, you’re a danger to yourself”? that is so explicit and so raw and so powerful. me personally i am chewing through concrete slabs.

he takes his heart - his core, his feelings, his very self - and controls it so fiercely, so violently, just so that it might be something of worth. something precious and valued and beautiful and rare. and what forms diamonds, pointed out in this exact episode? coal. objectively seen as cheap, and worthless, and nothing much at all. dennis’s heart is coal, to him. fuel to a fire of rage. so he tries to make it something better. not by nurturing it, tending to it like a garden.

instead he crushes it.

and then he eats it.

i don’t know what else you could want tbh.

i’ve also seen people say that it wasn’t an accurate depiction of mental health issues? i don’t even know what to say to that like. are you yourself dennis reynolds? are actually him, down to a T?? or are you a totally different person with different life experiences and brain functions and trauma and personality and expression of self?

characters are not made to reflect individual people and their experiences - they are separate from us, and us from them. we can look to them to find similarities, but they can only be as relatable to us as we are to everyone around us. this episode is quite literally an insight into the fact that actually, dennis doesn’t show his rage, or any of his feelings, and the way that he experiences his emotions is wholly and totally different from others. sure, he allows outbursts over minor things - sounds that irritate him, insults against his car, women as a concept, all the fucking apps - but nothing that really, truly matters. it’s about control. control, control, control. a grasp on his anger so so tight it’s a vacuum, a cavern of pressure.

maybe your experience of mental health is totally different to that, and i sympathise that not seeing yourself reflected on screen can be and is frustrating. but. if i may overshare a touch on tumblr dot com, oversharing central, then..,,..he just like me fr fr.

as someone who has never related to dennis reynolds at all in the history of the show and is different to him in every objective way, this episode got me. i felt seen. it’s not about mental health as huge outbursts that everyone sees and sympathises with, not all the time. it’s not about sadness or pain or misery, not all the time.

it can be about anger. anger as an emotion you can feel so intrinsically and powerfully. anger that you don’t understand and you shouldn’t be able to control because it’s so fucking strong. but you do you do you do. because you just have to. there’s no rational reason behind it; you’re just angry and you just don’t show it. not when it really matters, anyway. you have a moment of private catharsis, deep inside yourself, an upwelling of frustration and rage that feels like a day but you quench in seconds. and then you move on.

so yes, it’s an accurate depiction of mental health, and i’m not elaborating further than that. i imagine someone else *cough @sewerkingcharlie cough* could probably go into dennis’s psycho-demographic and history and how that effects his mental health far better than i ever could anyway.

me personally, i am. obsessed with the insane surrealist route they went down. expressions of deep emotional pain are only understandable via sobbing breakdowns if you have no critical media skills or appreciation of several major art movements of the last hundred years. once again, he tore out his heart and crushed it into something else with his own fist and then ate it.

looking at the journey the episode takes as a whole, it’s so so incredibly fucking clever. it’s set up as though it’s a journey narrative that will end with a big emotional expression a la mac finds his pride or the gang carries a corpse; it’s pretty much what we all expected, i think, to be able to observe dennis and his inner emotions at a closer range, from one side of a two way mirror.

but during that insane scene, we are actually allowed inside his head - not just an observation into his mind through the lens of spectatorship study, but into dennis’s broken perception of reality, from his point of view, intra-diegetic. we are inside his head looking at everything around us, trapped in the laboratory of his mind. is not the clean cut, easy-to-analyse narrative and visuals we saw before of dennis getting more and more frustrated until his breaking point; the world in his mind has twisted and deformed into one that no longer makes sense to us the spectator, but does make sense for him, for dennis.

mac and charlie were able to express their emotions outwardly with another person present. they were grounded in reality because that is how they experience emotions of that level and intensity. that is by no means to say that what they felt in those moments are is any less intense or extreme or soul crushing as dennis, only that they experience both their inner emotions and the world around them in different ways to him.

dennis internalises as much as he possibly can, pouring into himself rather than out. he can only hold so much, the pressure builds, his insides contort and shift to make room, he keeps pouring.

his innards no longer makes sense.

his feelings are physical, they’re his organs, and they’re worth something, worth so much, but they’re simultaneously just the food he consumes.

he consumes, he internalises, everything’s within him.

he was never going to have an emotional outburst. that’s not his catharsis; it would change him too much fundamentally.

everything channels inwards. it’s too much but at least it stays inside. even his breakdowns happen within. he keeps the lid of the pressure cooker on.

Dennis Does Not Take A Mental Health Day.

[brightmoontrigon]

one more week until I finally finally finally finally get to see the neuro-ophthalmologist. desperately hoping for some good news regarding my vision because all its done is continue to get worse and i cannot really keep going like this, just waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting

[pink-lemonadefairy]

🌻 ₊˚⊹ ࿔ 🌳

[original-punks]

shower pls fix me

[lunarslice]

Reminder, I love each and every one of you SO FUCKING much. If you forget, I will be sad! You deserve to eat, be hydrated, loved, and accepted! And you are by me! Keep your spirits up!

Additional notice: I'm currently trying to figure out apartment stuff. I got approved for a place closer to work so I'm not waking up at 4:30am to make it on time at 8am to work. So, the packing and just working have been keeping me locked away in my head. School has also been on the back burner... I'm trying guys. I promise that when it all seeps back to normal content and replies will flow more naturally. For now, bare with me. I'm very overwhelmed with the transitions IRL. I love you! You're all in my thoughts.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

just accidentally spilled an entire water bottle on my bed :)

took my sheets off and put a towel over it. then looked up what to do just in case and. like everything said "use a fan" and "mold could happen so be careful" and now i am Terrified of getting mold since so much spilled and since i don't have any fans. i am so tired oh my god i just want to go to bed

[rubiesintherough]

.

[bunnihearted]

🧸🧃⛈️

[twilightarcade]

that's a weird dog