#but also i hope bun is doing ok because that's a whole lotta attention in a very short amount of time

[faze-bretta]

[vyrerus]

5.2 Story Impressions

Spoilers ahead for 5.2 MSQ and Ruby Weapon sidequest.

Well, a new ultima weapon huh? How’d they pull that one with the heart thingie from the first one? I guess maybe with Proto-Ultima parts and such from Azys Lla? Like that capital ship is still there stranded, but I’m sure they sent some dropships back to the homeland, maybe?

Ah yes, I’m the only one who can stop it, despite knowing quite intimately that Estinien was capable of destroying its prototype single handedly. I bet if they’d get him to team up with Gaius and Raubahn, and idk, fucking pull Merlwyb and Mistbeard out of retirement... bring Kann-e-padjali lady and her brethren as healers. Yeah, you can get it down. It’s not like it can temper people. You don’t even gotta wrangle the new primal task force, hot highlander knight and Fordola or anything. Jeez!

Ok fine, I’ll fight the FF7 reference... AFTER I GO CHECK ON THE MSQ!

Ok, they’ve got the right rock now, they’re certain. The shape kinda reminds me of a Soulstone from Diablo 2. It’d be much more realistic to assume video games from the past influence video games of the future, but I like to think this is another shared cross-culture humanity tale, like The Flood. Soul stones man. 

Hmm, Alisae is all, “I hope you don’t have to make a choice between fighting the ultimate weapon and helping out here.” Hmm, either it’s a one off plot joke or foreshadowing for whenever we get to fight Emerald Weapon. I’ll go with the latter. 

Everybody mad that crystalline catboi ain’t been sleeping... but do ya think they’re also making him bathe? Does he even sweat and get stinky anymore, being half golem? 

I wonder what the response was for, “Why not Alphinaud?” Hmm, maybe Mattoid can tell me.

Chap with an axe beat ya to it, huh? *flashback to Heavensward* Yeah, we in for some bullshit. I just hope this set of bullshit doesn’t involve Alisae getting shot with a poisoned arrow.

I kinda wish the WoL had called out the Ardbert puppet body for what it was, right then and there. If Elidibus couldn’t beat us in Zenos’s body, then he sure as hell can’t beat us with an i80 weapon. I know the masses are dumb, but c’mon, we’re the savior, and they all know that the bodies of the old First WoLs were stolen and Sin Eater’d, explain and relate it to that. Just drive the puss from the wound now. Oh jeez, of course we’re not going to do what we should do... it wasn’t in the script.

Huh, does the purple bun insinuate that the pink haired bun is dildoing herself with her staff and imagining that it’s the WoL >__> now I feel bad for not paying super hard attention to these Buns when I did the MSQ. I blame Emet Selch for stealing the show from every zone! Except like, Lakeland.

Hmm riddle of the Sphinx? But that’s not a Sphinx.. it’s a wolf, owl, snake thing...

Hmm was this ancient Bunny lady with the echo a WoL of the past or were they a person strong in the Echo raised to the station of an Ascian? Like did they help to create the Ronkan civilization? I have many questions!

Aww, Runar is sad... but also hey, this moment has a lotta meme potential if you’re perverted and shipping your WoL with Yshtola.

I thought you were supposed to be good at this... actually I never thought you were good at this. Like, the first time we met you said you didn’t mean any harm, but you lead me on a chase and attacked me with swarms of gargoyles ya white robed wimp! Get out of that body and fight me like a SORCERER OF ELD!

Ryne thinks the Tempest is otherworldly hehe. Cute kid. :) 

Wheat is sharp? How I be feeling it through my full metal gauntlet? :O Holy shit what are the people’s stomachs like on The First?!

Uriangesus! Uh oh, his soul be straining... Thancred’s too. Oiiiii veiiiiiii

Awww, sad lonely immortal whale :( I wanna give him a hug.

I just got told to go quietly... but I don’t care enough about Ryne or think she’s cute enough to actually sway me... oh well, fishing trip with the other old men.

Aww man, another remix for Sastasha.

My friend said I should do this dungeon with Trusts, but I still don’t want to use Trusts.

Sea mobs and other shenanigans. Seems like a pretty cool place. Huh, the Sahagin are turning crystals into animals... seems like we’ve found the mother load. Should be able to get that rock to work right now!

Sahagin Queen is Thicc. I said this. I got no comms because of saying this. Q.Q

Hmm, so according to these holograms they had to do what they made the beastmen tribes do for the first rendition of Extreme primals back in the 2.1+ days. Does that mean these fellows who designed Hydaelyn designed her to specifically rip out Zodiark’s heart, as to not kill the original Elidibus( you know the whole, her attack enervate the target, sundering it rather than destroying it that Emet Selch was on about)? Hmm.... is the WoL the original Elidibus or Venat? Will Yshtola ever get his thing working, or does it only respond to the WoL?

Hmm ok, so we’re not technically tempered? but what is the blessing of light exactly then? And how does Elidibus expect these WoL Juniors to ever even want to kill us? Hmmmm, I don’t think they really thought this plot thread through.

Another silently nodding joke. Teehee.

Man, it may be because I’ve been awake for 26 hours due to work, and a meeting at 12, but it really feels like the game is telling me to take a break too! I guess RL me fits right in with all these busy body heroes after all!

I feel like it should be Cyella that shows up, but I understand they had to make it any of the NPCs because of the playerbase nature to only do one job/role and not do any of the sidequest. At least they let us pick!

Zenos having a dream while robed dude with Asaheeeee or whatever that little bimbo’s name was that was Yotsuyu’s half brother’s voice muses about what that means. Mutters stuff about Emet-selch. There were a lot of Emet-selch name drops this patch.

Ok, time to finally kill Ruby Weapon.

Oh, that was easier than expected, but I still got killed by the quicksand. Whoops. 

Also holy shit, did the pilot go crunchy crunchy for that to happen?! I mean I love callbacks to Nael, but holy shit... will I still find out who the pilot was?

Aww, Au Ra orphans. Raens at that. Huh. Daddy van Baelsar... huh... well he is certainly manly enough.

When’s Cid gonna cough up blood?! I was worried for nothing!?

Ok time to do Eden... *looks at clock* nevermind. It’s time for work again. Being a functioning member of society while trying to maintain my some semblance of my hikikomori habits is hard. And my old raid lead has is already beating Savage without me now too. OTL Well, I’ll have more time to work on my Sarg character, so there’s that. 

[abiteofnat]

GOD FORBID I WANT A MASON JAR WEARING A COWBOY HAT FULL OF ANYTHING...

Because guess what? Turns out my significant love for that bayou-slash-open-road-country life makes me a big ole weenie. As someone who’s incredibly open about their love for country music, bandanas, tall boys, and the seafood ways of the South, I have quickly discovered that only select people will understand and respect this part of my life. My parents? Heck nOPE. My coworkers? Heckled me to death after they found out I went to the Country Lake Shake Festival (which will be discussed more later, so leave now if you’re already like noooo thanks goodbye bon soir)! 

Ever since my mom, my sister and I went to New Orleans and Alabama for a family wedding last year, I have fallen head over heels in love with spicy cajun food, butter pickles, driving with the windows down and playing Dylan Scott, and Corona Lite with a lime popped in. I dream of shrimp & grits and I’ll be damned if a weekend night doesn’t end with something crisp and at least 4% alcohol, even if it’s a beer & bath affair. But in Chicago? Keep your country side a secret unless you want your ass whooped. That’s why I am so excited for this post: my top three favorite ways to feel like it’s a down-South summer day year round in Chitown. 

Quick explanation of WHY I love this emerging side of me before I get a whole lotta sass: Country music tells a story like no other genre does. While rap is celebrated for over-sexualizing women and probably leading to most of the sex happening in this country because who doesn’t feel frisky when they listen to fucking Fetty Wap, country is seen as disgusting and stupid even if it tells a narrative of falling in love and getting married and living a WONDERFUL LIFE TOGETHER. SO WHAT IF PICKUP TRUCKS ARE INVOLVED. IS YOUR MOM’S MINI VAN THAT MUCH BETTER??? Also, the food in the South is made with so much more attention, history, flair, and f l a v o r. In every bite there are a hundred spices, and in every spice there’s a piece of history. The recipes, the heritage, the attention to how textures compliment each other. The way people openly enjoy messy food and want to share and there is no other option than just be happy for that meal. You may all disagree, that’s fine. I just know that despite all of this country’s flaws, all of the past years of splitting hairs and choosing sides, grits are still good. Sometimes, y’all, life really is that simple. And that’s ok for as long as it takes to eat some fucking cornbread. 

1. The Fish Bar! 

As said on their Insta page, “New Orleans meets New England style restaurant in Lakeview” and that could not be more accurate! My foodie groupies Erin, Chelsea, & Luzi have a taste for anything and everything so we often try to hit somewhere new & different when we meet for dinner so that hopefully one day we can cross EVERY DARN RESTAURANT OFF our Chicago bucket list, and this last soiree was at The Fish Bar in Lakeview. Located right off the Wellington Brown Line stop, this cozy bar-meets-cookout vibe offers a huge selection of specialized cocktails served in mason jars and decently priced wine as well as tacos, “angry” tots, and a whole lotta seafood. Erin’s choice was the Satchmo Po’boy, a mix of crawfish and shrimp slathered in butter pickles and thrown on a thick n’ buttery bun, kettle chips on the side and eaten by mostly me. She also ordered the “Angry Tots”, a version of tater tots involving spicy aioli and some spices that will not make you angry but will certainly make your tastebuds say WHAT TO HECK?! They are a great compliment to all of the items on the menu, and a bite of tot with a sip of the refreshing (and pink!) cocktail I got? Fan-freakin-tastic. This cocktail not only looked like me in drink form, but also offered a delicious taste of vodka mixed with bubbles, strawberries, freshly picked basil, and a wee bit of cucumber. 

For my entree I got the Shrimp Tacos, a solid choice for my pescatarian ways whenever I’m overwhelmed by how many things I want and 9/10 end up being a lovely choice wherever I order them. These ones really took the cake, so much so I took the description right off the site: “served with red & green salsa, roast peppers, cauliflower, jalapeno crema, cilantro, guacamole, arugula.” Um, jalapeno crema? Need ANYONE SAY MORE?! 

This place is perfect for happy hour and apps as well as date night with friends or ya lover, as the inside is adorable and intimate but the outside offers views on the passersby and allows you to sit at a picnic table! Not to mention the baby blue brick wall with an epic fish design on it, perfect for photo ops. 

2. Low Country!

Ok, this place is beyond epic. Let me set the scene: you walk in and you’re greeted with a wall of garlic so strong you’re salivating but also aware that you’re going to smell like this until the next time you’re under a boiling hot shower. There are rows on rows of checkerboard-clad picnic tables and a giant vintage trough in the middle complete with beautiful faucets for washing hands (very important later), and a long bar that offers happy hour deals that Erin and I took great pleasure in. We got peach beer (!!!) and ordered, as you do at Low Country, a pound of seafood mixed with corn on the cob, potatoes, and a stew of cajun + garlic seasoning. They bring it to you in a giant boil bag still tied, wait for you to put on your bib (which you DEFINITELY WANT TO PUT ON), and then slam it down and cut off the top, releasing a force field of steam and smells so good your tongue literally rolls out of your mouth and lays on your lap until you put seafood on it. I got a pound of shrimp, Erin got a pound of snow crab, and sleeves were rolled up to our armpits to allow the messiest meal ever to commence. 

Is there anything as satisfying as eating a full meal with your hands? No worries, no holding back, just absolutely covered in sauce and drinking beer when you can without dropping it and then suddenly you sit back and realize you ate 1-2 pounds of food without really stopping? You can’t do this everyday because it will lose the magic, but the boil bag experience is one to definitely put on your list. It’s fun, it’s freeing, it’s freaking delicious. Between the succulent corn and the meaty, steamy shrimp that you bite right on out of the tail, it will fill you to the brim but leave you dreaming of more. I can honestly say this meal goes into my Top Ten Best Meals Ever, which is kindaaa impressive!   

*EDIT: Since this post was created and put int he queue, I have since gone back with Luzi and it still stands to be one of the best meals ever ever ever. And I tried the cajun fries, which are CERTAINLY worth it esp. when you swirl them in that boil bag sauce. 

3. Lake Shake!

No, this is not a restaurant, or even a real foodie experience. I just had to delve into the small things that made this such a perfect summer day; for one, there were a million food options at this three-day music festival on Northerly Island in Chicago including a whole vegan tent (!!!) and a million little nibbles that looked amazing, which is kind of rare for music festivals! It wasn’t just ice cream or french fries if you were vegetarian there- which to be honest shocked me, since it’s a country festival and meat is the way of the world down there. But between the vegan nachos, the walking taco, the mac & cheese INSIDE a BREAD CONE... options for days. My goodness. 

The drinks were fab as well! For an ungodly fee you could get their “signature” drink, a vodka lemonade with some blue raspberry flavoring and lemon inside this sick Live Nation cowboy-hat cup, and it was an easy choice for us to commit to that. Bonus? THE CUP DOUBLES AS A PIGGY BANK WHEN YOU’RE DONE. Brilliant. Even though it was pricey, it got me daytime lit so that when Luzi and I saw Dylan Scott perform I was in my dancing and singing-out-loud-very-loudly prime which is the other best part of country music: EVERYONE JUST WANTS TO DANCE. AND SMILE. AND FALL IN LOVE A LITTLE. It was such a feel-good environment that when Luzi suggested we get a couple tall boys before Rascal Flatts went on I did not fight back and we ended up sitting on the lawn just taking in the day for a while with some Bud Lights. 

Even if country music isn’t your thing, you still have to admit any day with festive drinks is a good one. Already can’t wait to go back next year! 

That rounds up a few of my favorite ways to embrace the shade, and I hope you go try a boil bag and ruin all of your clothes in the process because it is sooo worth it. If you hated this whole post, I get it, you hate fun. Stay tuned for what’s coming soon!

Until next time, Happy Eating!

-Natalie