#but as a fandom i think Lucanis gets the short end of the stick about it more than he should yknow

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

the thing about Lucanis and Spite is like. neither of them actually wanted to be there. and that is both how they were able to survive the melding and why they resent each other so much. Lucanis' banter about the Ossuary where he says to survive it he "Shut down completely. Think nothing. Feel nothing. Except what you need to escape." And when asked what's left he says "If you're lucky? Revenge. And bad dreams." like. he always had this core of his own personal spite down in him (not doing crow jobs the easy way, ignoring Caterina's summons, not embracing his future as a potential first talon, to "live truly is to live fully" but he HASN'T been allowed to and resents it, etc etc etc) but in the Ossuary he really hollows himself out into the perfect vessel, empties himself of everything but wanting to survive anyway. and "no one was in the Ossuary by choice, not even the demons" so of course he and Spite can agree on this One Thing. they make their deal that they're gonna make it through just because everyone else there is waiting for them to die, and of course they're not gonna just give them what they want. even if they're fighting each other the whole time (hence Lucanis being used to Spite 'hitting' him etc when he doesn't get what he wants), they still have this united purpose Every Day about getting through it. like it's utterly crucial that for both to survive at all the demon had to be something that wanted to defy what the venatori wanted from it.

and this is also why their relationship falls apart once they do escape, because without something else present to rail against every day, they have to turn on each other. and of course it is actually an absolutely miserable situation for both of them to be in--Lucanis is living the nightmare of his body being puppetted around without his consent, just like the blood magic he already had to endure under Zara, and can't ever be alone again even in his own mind. Spite is trapped in a world that no longer responds to his shaping, lacks the autonomy of a truly possessed host body, and can barely comprehend the new laws that govern the place he's in.

for both of them it's such an intense violation of being, and one I wish got more emphasis/recognition. it's really easy to make jokes about how Lucanis could be better at sharing/compromise with Spite more (like I make them too myself, it's easy) but really just... man. this isn't like with Anders & Justice, who agreed to their situation, or Wynne where Faith is content to be mostly a silent passenger and did it to save her life. Lucanis and Spite are suffering the most complete form of intimacy under the worst circumstances, and neither actually wanted it. which makes it honestly impressive at all that (unhardened) Lucanis & Spite are able to reach an accord at all by the end. like i'm glad that they did--and have SO many thoughts (& fanfic WIPs lol) exploring just how they managed to get there--but boy was it hard won, if you actually look deeper into it than the game has room to explore.

[rilamelafin]

20 Questions for Fanfiction Writers

Found this in a tag somewhere and wanted to do it.

1). How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 45 fics. Most of them are oneshots.

2). What's your total AO3 word count?

308,635

3). What are your top five fics by kudos?

You're My End and My Beginning [T] Chat Noir/Ladybug, Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng; 868 kudos; 3,265 words; 163 bookmarks - Miraculous Ladybug

Ever the Same [T] Klavier Gavin/Apollo Justice; 565 kudos; 1,796 words; 44 bookmarks - Ace Attorney

What Would I Do Without Your Smart Mouth [T] Klavier Gavin/Apollo Justice; 216 kudos; 831 words; 16 bookmarks - Ace Attorney

Vows Unspoken [T] Rook/Lucanis Dellamorte; 169 kudos; 2,418 words; 28 bookmarks - Dragon Age: The Veilguard

Knight in Shining (Red) Armor [G] Klavier Gavin/Apollo Justice; 159 kudos; 493 words; 9 bookmarks - Ace Attorney

Side note: I've realized that with the exception of Vows Unspoken, all my top-kudos fics are stories I wrote almost a decade ago (if not actually a decade ago). I feel like that somewhat speaks to the current climate that I see other writers discussing. My Ace Attorney fics were all kinkmeme fills, where there was a community.

4). What fandoms do you write for?

I've dabbled all over the place. Wrote for a lot of anime for a while. Now I'm mostly sticking with video games, particularly the Dragon Age fandom.

5). Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

When I can! It makes me SO excited to receive any comments at all, and I love being able to talk with people about my writing.

6). What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ehhh probably She is the Healing, I Am the Pain. It's a Miraculous Ladybug fic that focuses on Chat Noir with the idea of the Ladybug Magic not healing everything. It was a gift-fic I wrote for someone I used to talk to on tumblr.

7). What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh. I like happy endings a lot of the time. There are just so many, honestly. I can't pick one.

8). Do you get hate on fics?

Hasn't happened yet, though I did get some comments at one point that felt a little judgy of my writing style. So now I moderate my comments.

9). Do you write smut?

Sometimes! It depends on the fic and my mood.

10). Do you write crossovers?

I do not. I don't like crossovers in general, personally.

11). Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of.

12). Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. Someone asked if they could once, but I never found out if they actually did.

13). Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Kinda? I was co-writing an original fiction at one point with an online friend that I had met through FFN. But that fell apart. Now, most of my collaborative storytelling is with an RP with one friend that I used to play Dungeons & Dragons with.

14). What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Oh that's tough. I wrote a lot for Klavier/Apollo for a while there. But I tend to write a lot more OC works (or characters where the MC can be tailored, like Dragon Age or Mass Effect).

One of my favorites to write for has been either Cullen Rutherford/Lavellan, or FemShep/Joker.

15). What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Probably Fate's Triage, if I'm being honest. It's a Modern Girl in Thedas fic. And I started off strong and really enjoying it. But I'm having a hard time getting the energy and words to flow for that one.

16). What are your writing strengths?

I really love digging into characters, and I think I get a good handle on a character's "voice" really well.

17). What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle a lot with the "connective" pieces, which is why I have a lot of trouble writing multi-chapter fics.

18). Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

It depends. If it's a short piece, like a pet name or a commonly-used phrase, then I'll use it and write it in italics to set it apart as obviously different.

But for longer bits, or even a full sentence, it depends on the perspective of the focal character. Does the character whose POV I'm focusing on know the language? Are they familiar enough to understand? Would they even recognize the individual words? If yes, I might write as stated before. If no, then I describe that the character speaking a foreign language says something they didn't catch/understand.

If the POV character is the one using the foreign language, then it gets a little tricky. I'm a huge language nerd. But I also know that not everyone is going to be me and look up the translation for every sentence in another language. I have to be picky and choosy about it.

19). First fandom you wrote for?

Naruto, I think. I was like 12. But I was coming up with ideas for stuff when I was in elementary school for Dragon Ball Z and Sailor Moon. I just never wrote any of it down.

20). Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Ever?! Oh that's tough.

Real talk, I'm really proud of my current WIP Steal into My Melancholy Heart because I'm exploring some really fun ideas with using magic as a therapy tool in the Dragon Age setting.

But I also really loved writing Something in the Way (you roll your eyes) for NaNo a few years ago and that Arranged Marriage AU with FemShep and Joker just really scratched an itch for me. lol