#but do i just think that because i'm in denial

[dotthings]

Let me debunk a few more misinformation things about what Misha or Jensen say about Destiel. (Bolding some particularly relevant things I really want people to notice).

At Darklight Con Nov 8, 2020, Misha firmly said Cas's confession was about romantic feelings for Dean. (Notably, this is a European con, not CE in the US). Misinformation has sometimes been spread that Misha said Cas's confession wasn't romantic. Not true.

Misha then added that in his "interpretation" it was "unrequited" but continued on that "I'm speculating" and "I don't know what's in Dean's head. And Cas doesn't know." Misinformation has gotten around that Misha ever confirmed that Dean absolutely isn't in love with Cas back.

He then said the same things Jensen has said about supporting people's interpretations. They align on this viewpoint. (Antis don't want to listen, it's inconvenient for them).

He confirmed that Jensen was all in supporting Cas's confession scene. And that Jensen was told 3 months in advance. Since some have tried to claim it was sprung on Jensen at the last minute, a week before filming or something, and it was all an evol nefarious plot to lie to Jensen, trick him, and ambush him.

I mean, come tf on.

Jensen had three months to think about it.

And it's not only common practice on TV to have actors not know things too far in advance so their performances can be as spontaneous as possible, Jensen himself has said it's his own practice not to read ahead, so Dean's reactions can be as spontaneous as possible, and Jensen was in fact was given more than the usual amount of lead time about Cas's confession.

And was all in.

But especially interesting to me is how Jensen and Misha's comments mirror each other's take about the other's character.

Jensen and Misha have both told us they talked about Destiel.

Am I being clear enough here? They have talked about it. With each other. Often. They have an understanding among each other. (Yet antis seem to be in complete rampaging denial about this little fact).

And Jensen and Misha's takes often complement each other's, fit each other's on certain points, or even align via different styles and slightly different approaches and takes but actually boil down in essence to the same thing, plus both of them keep saying to fans...run with your interpretation.

It's like...both of them were trying to hand it to us, in any way they could manage, despite all those network shenanigans where it's not going to be acknowledge on any official SPN PR (like DVD set extras...and it seems like Misha kinda went, you know what if the network won't back press about this, I'll do it myself so he said things, here and there, to say what this was, dodging the CW sniper).

Misha's take: Cas has no idea what's in Dean's head and Cas doesn't know whether Dean is in love with him romantically the way Cas loves Dean or not. Jensen's take: in Dean's pov, because of Cas being an angel, assumption that his love is so cosmic and unfathomable no human can grasp it, so Dean has no clue as to the specific nature of those feelings for him. Mirroring!!!

(Side note...there's plenty of room here for an interpretation that Cas did know how loved he is at the moment The Empty took him. And I think that too...but that doesn't mean he knows Dean is romantically in love with him back, just that Dean loves him, period).

BTW, Jensen never said anything about how he played things wrt Dean's feelings for Cas, what he said was he never played Dean knowing Cas was in love with Dean (because Dean didn't know Cas was in love with him!!!!).

(And omfg I am so sick and tired of seeing Jensen misquoted about that, and it's never done with good faith motives, ever.)

It's about what Dean didn't know. It's about what Cas didn't know.

Which is the actual plot!! We watched!!! Dean and Cas not realizing the other one is in love with him is just so *chef's kiss* exactly miscommunication destihell. Was always part of the story, how many times did we talk about this ourselves?

Receipts below.

[piningintrovert]

Payu’s racing suit: A masterclass in foreplay and kink exploration

One helluva title, huh? Well listen, I’ve been cursed with a great attention to detail (the notes app is sick of me atp) and an even greater desire to share so here we are. Wanna come along for the ride?

It's race day and this is the first time we get to see Payu in his gear, hence this very important full-body shot for which audience is quite grateful (I took the liberty of speaking for all of us, but if you disagree, remember that denial is a river in Egypt 😌). Though we will come to see later on, that no one is as grateful as Rain.

One thing about Rain, he's going to brat. And as amused as Payu is, he's going to nip it right in the bud (hair tousle, my beloved 😭). That aside, we know that Payu is almost always in tune with Rain, and he can clearly see that baby boy is more than loving how he looks in his racing gear. And Rain saying that his suit is cool a second time gives Payu the confirmation he needs, and an opening for foreplay and the exploration of Rain's budding cosplay kink.

Now despite rendering Rain parched and speechless at that thought of him stripping out of his gear, leave it to Payu to take it to the next level.

Rain is visibly excited. And although he has not verbally responded, his body language is speaking volumes, even if at this point he doesn't fully get what Payu is implying.

Payu has essentially given Rain the permission to dress him within the boundaries of cosplay, and confirms this by asking Rain to help with putting on his gloves.

Now I'd like to think the purpose of Payu's request two-fold: (1) to show (just the audience atp because Rain doesn't understand what's happening yet) that he’s noticed the beginnings of Rain's kink and (2) to engage another one of Rain's senses as he continues their foreplay. So far there's been sight, sound, smell, and now Payu has added touch.

We all know that Payu probably entertained the idea of having Rain go full-contact right in the middle of the garage, but he still has a race to win so the gloves will have to do for now.

The race is over and Payu has fulfilled his promise to Rain: he has claimed victory unscathed. And now Payu is looking forward to his reward: reaping the benefits all of that glorious foreplay.

By the time they get home, Rain is damn near feral. He’s so turned on that even Payu is pleasantly surprised. And honestly can we blame Rain? We’ve established that Payu looks hot in his racing gear, but he looks even hotter winning in his racing gear. The latter isn't lost on Rain and it’s showing in the way he’s kissing and touching Payu.

Ah yes, the touching ... let's focus on that.

As they’re kissing, Rain’s hand glides along Payu’s side, pulling him close, and lingering for a bit to feel the fit and structure of the suit against Payu's body — the smooth feel of the elbow pad and the grain of the leather on Payu’s ass.

Side note: I find it fascinating that Payu starts mirroring Rain’s movements for a bit. I don’t know whether they’re just really locked in and hot for each other (both. both is good) or it’s meant to be a form of subconscious reassurance for Rain. Whatever it is seems to be working because Rain’s energy is at 1000%.

Baby boy is so lost in the sauce that even palms and strokes Payu through the suit (he really said "all hands on di—" i'm sorry lol), later pulling him close to feel the full weight of all of that leather on his body.

Now, we could say that this is just the way people touch each other while in the midst of a pre-sex make out session, but that is not the case here. Payu can feel the difference and remarks on it, continuing their earlier conversation at the garage.

Another side note: Imagine being so in tune and obsessed with your partner that you're able to continue conversations hours later as if the passage of time doesn’t exist. Absolute insanity.

Anyway~ naked and deep in throes of passion, it's at this point they switch gears for a bit (pun intended) with it being Rain's turn to do the talking.

From the garage up until now, Payu has a created a safe space for Rain to release his inhibitions (s/o to my girl Natasha Bedingfield 🎶) and explore this new side of himself. And while that's true, the rules established in their D/s relationship are still in place. One of them is no swearing. But Rain is feeling carefree and especially bratty, so he levels up the dirty talk, adding some profanity to spice things up.

They both know that a punishment is inevitable, but there's some nuance involved. Rain is the midst of self-discovery, so Payu opts for a less severe punishment for the swearing. He bites Rain's lips, but he does it with degree of playfulness that encourages Rain to continue. Without the swearing, of course.

Taking the hint and most importantly, staying on theme (i.e. riding Payu like a finely-tuned motorcycle steadily making it's way to the finish line 🏍 again, i'm sorry lol), Rain takes over both verbally and physically, and it is absolutely doing it for Payu.

In fact, Payu is so pleased that he offers Rain a lifetime subscription of free riding lessons. All jokes aside, the way that Payu responds (in that he mirrors Rain's word choice) shows that he is enjoying this cosplay scene just as much as Rain.

Thoroughly spent and content after crossing yet another finish line for the day, Payu reassures and encourages Rain once more. And in turn, Rain checks in with Payu confirming that everything was enjoyable for the both of them.

Communication? We love to see it.

Even while basking in the afterglow of their bisexually-lit post-coital bliss, that race suit is still on Rain's mind. Again, can we really blame him? He realizes that the cosplay aspect of it is something that he likes. And although things seemed to come naturally to him, this is still very much uncharted territory for Rain. Payu acknowledges this and provides aftercare in the form of teasing encouragement, promising to purchase a few costumes for later cosplay sessions.

Rain may not be ready to fully accept his newfound kink, but knows that he can explore it further with Payu whenever he's ready. And the open and consistent communication they've had during this time will help them build a solid foundation to do that.

If you made to this point, thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed and I'll catch you in the next one :)

Bonus: An update from the special ep.

A few months have passed and as you can see our lovely couple has indeed gone on to further explore their cosplay kink together.

AND they even added a few others to the mix. Good for them and may the kinks be ever in their favor.

[tarosunshine]

Enhypen/Riize as kdrama love troupes or couples?? Like Business proposal or My demon // I hope this makes sense 😭

—⁠ ִ ۫ ⭒ in a word of boys he's a gentleman ، ، 엔하이픈

๑ genre fluff 一 warning none ! pairing kdrama boyfriend OT7 x fem reader ⋮ bookshelf .

heeseung as guwon﹙my demon﹚  ۫ ੭

at first, you thought he was the most serious man, with all the suspicious attractive aura and all. then, when he fell in love with you, it was like a different person, acting so full of energy and so so so clingy, all smiling when it comes to you. he's the most romantic man alive, and he will give you anything.

“babe, where are you goiiing?”

jay as doosik﹙hometown cha cha cha﹚  ۫ ੭

he is a gentleman. he will do anything for you, making you feel so full of love. the acts of service are his thing; making you breakfast, walking you home, tying your shoes, opening the door for you, helping you with the most little thing you want. showing you his affection by actions but also words and physical touch. he's sooo in love and he's the cutest.

“i love you”.

jake as joonhyung﹙weightlifting fairy kim bok joo﹚  ۫ ੭

a total sucker for you. he's like the happiest man alive when you smile at him, like a big puppy with full of energy when he's around you. he's just too silly. it's like having a best friend and a boyfriend at the same time, making jokes and being funny. you two are like dumb and dumber fr. maybe he likes to bother you a little.

“you're my fisrt love”.

sunghoon as minjoon﹙my love from the star﹚  ۫ ੭

he was hard to catch at the beginning, but you started to like him first, tough he didn't like you back then. and he completely falled in love after you did, and the boy fell harder. protective asf, he's just so attentive to you. he is in all the details. he will listen yo everything you have to say.

“it's okay, i'm here”.

sunoo as guwon﹙king the land﹚  ۫ ੭

communicative king. he will tell you all you need to hear. anything is bothering or upsetting you? he will clarify things right now, you don't need to worry. he fell first, but he was in denial at first of having feelings for you —although he accepted them so fast. he says he doesn't know how to flirt but girl-. if you are mad at him, he will give you your space. his love is so so so pure and cute.

“i can't help but smile when i see this person smile”.

jungwon as minhyuk﹙strong woman do bong soon﹚  ۫ ੭

dramatic king. he's your baby, you know that, but anyway, you can give him cuteness aggression. i mean, you can't blame him. he just really loves you. his cheeks definitely hurt when he is with you because he can't stop smiling! you just can ask whatever you want, and after he looks at your eyes, he will be like 'whatever you want, pretty'. falling on his knees when you first called him by a silly nickname you made just for him.

“but why you're so pretty today? oh, what should i do with you?”

ni-ki as sunjae﹙lovely runner﹚  ۫ ੭

he will act all cool and serious in front of you, like he isn't so into you. but you got him kicking his feet and giggling when you answer his messages, smiling like a fool when you aren't looking at him, rollingin in his bed when he sees a photo of you, sighing every two seconds when he thinks about you. oh, but when he's with you, he will act like the cool and unbothered serious boy that he wants you to think he is.

“i wasn't smiling!”

maybe next will be riize as love tropes !

[allfattenedup]

Hello and what great progress, exceptional!!!

I see myself in you even if I'm just starting out... cause I was also a thin athlete, even too thin at certain times, I can ask you what pushed you to start and after the first phases what did you did it push you to move forward and never go back?

Thankyou!

Thank you so much!

I've told this story a few times but not for a while. So I have always had this kink. But I was also pretty vain, lol. I don't mind admitting that. I wanted to look hot, it was important to me. So, I won't say I buried the kink - I definitely jerked off to pretty much only fat guys and girls, and even fantasized heaps about myself getting fat, but I was just really strict in my mind that it was a fantasy only and that I'd never actually do it to myself.

Eventually, it became overwhelming. In hindsight I realise it was a self sustaining cycle — I was working out more and taking better care of my looks to try to drown out the desire, but the more I did that, the more delicious the thought of ruining it all became in my mind. The pull became way too strong. It was all I was thinking about all the time.

So, I did eventually make a deal with myself that I would gain 20lbs, just to get it out of my system, and then lose it before anyone really noticed.

That was the best/worst/best/worst decision I ever made.

Because oh my god, if I thought fantasizing about myself with a belly was hard to resist, actually having one? Actually watching and feeling one grow and wobble and push over my waistband? A potent lifelong sexual fantasy coming to life like that? Fuck me, I didn't stand a chance.

It got out of control real fucking fast. I swelled like crazy. Got the heavy hanging stomach of my dreams and nightmares. Got a pair of moobs, got a double chin and a fat face. I quickly realised I also had an embarrassment kink and with that, the guardrails just came off. The safety net burned up. The thought of having to face people in this body was as delicious as it was horrifying so there was no way I could stop myself from making it worse and worse and worse. I've done a few different drugs in my life and I have NEVER been as out of my mind as I was during that period of time. Absolutely off my face on lust.

Although it's not quite true that I never went back. I exploded with fat so fast that it seriously freaked me out. And even though I was literally getting off on the panic of how obese I was, eventually it became too much and I did actually lose a lot of weight. Not down to my original weight but enough that people were congratulating me everywhere I went for how "good I was looking". It felt nice, honestly. I missed the erotic tornado of weight gain, but it was kind of nice to feel normal again, to feel a little bit confident in my looks again, and I promised I'd leave this whole surreal experience behind me. But then eventually... it was all I was thinking about all the time. It became overwhelming. The pull became too strong.

I should have known what would happen. I came back to tumblr. Explained myself, showed my weight loss. People were really kind and supportive. I admitted that I just wanted to be part of the community again but I'm not gonna be gaining any weight back. And then that became 'I'm only gonna gain a tiny bit of weight back'. And then for probably about a year I was "not gaining" while slowly getting fatter and fatter. I started a Patreon and the thought of being fattened for a living started to ping that overwhelming desire again. My body started to take on a different shape than it did in my first gain. So all of a sudden that made everything new and hot again. I was in denial for wayyyy longer than was reasonable. I somehow managed convinced myself I wasn't really gaining on purpose, meanwhile I was ordering a second pint of Ben & Jerry's while still shoving down the first. I'm sure half of you guys knew I was intentionally gaining again before I did. And that's where we are now. I gained slower this time. My body is handling it better. Seems to me the only way from here is up 😈📈🥵

[bearhugsandshrugs]

Tavtash Tag Game :3

I want to learn more about you and your Tavs! – tagged by the creator of this lovely game, @crystal-overdrive <3 thank you so much!

I've been so late to tag so idk who already has done this, but it was a great reason to go back through the Tavtash post and follow some people so I'm tagging a bit randomly @nusaran @littleplasticrat @dracolichbitch @defira85 @vela-ad-astra @lynmeril @camotherogue - and anyone else who wants to do it! Also @crystal-overdrive has anyone tagged you yet? if not I'm tagging you too!

Tell us a bit about your Tav! 

Tav Ophal is a bard from a noble family in Amn, though she left her family when she came of age. She's determined, witty, soft hearted, and loyal. She's in her 30s, has a younger half-sister and is not on super good terms with her father, but adores her step-mother.

What alignment is your Tav? How does that align or clash with Gortash? Do they agree with him morally?

She's chaotic good, sometimes leaning towards neutral. Her personal freedom is massively important to her so she won't particularly care about the methods to achieve that (within certain limits), but she doesn't like suffering, for anyone. She also believes in the good of people, hoping to make the world a better place. Yes, she knows it's dumb, let her be. She's a silly little bean.

In the way to place her freedom very highly and being pragmatic about what's needed to be done to secure power, she's quite closely aligned with Enver. With the distinction that she deeply cares for at least some others.

What God does your Tav follow? Is Gortash's position as Bane's chosen an issue?

Tav's not very religious. She learned the hard way that she has to rely on herself first and foremost, so she wouldn't consider bowing to a god. She might drop a prayer here and there towards whatever god might be fitting a specific purpose, but nothing regular.

Gortash's position isn't so much an issue because he had to reject the Banites in order to rule with her. Ultimately she probably wouldn't even care that he worships Bane per se as it's a god that's frequently evoked from people craving discipline and rules. As long as he doesn't bring his tyrannical shit to her and make it her problem (or that of others, for that matter) – but then he had to start an insane plot to take over the world. Gdi, Enver.

What did your Tav think of Gortash when they first met?

"Great. Father would love him."

Did they take his offer of an alliance? 

She initially did not take him up on the alliance but ended up as co-ruler anyway, for other reasons that had little to do with him.

How did Gortash and your Tav get together? What do they see in each other? 

Uhhhh how they get together: Here is a whole fic on it. I think they both see each other for who they are. They peek behind each other's masks that they wear for almost everyone else. That's exciting, and unnerving, and there's plenty of denial initially because of that. And last but not least they just genuinely like the other, against their better judgment (and initial intentions).

What does the future hold for your Tav and Gortash? Are they in a relationship, a one time thing, are they going to rule the sword coast together or kill each other in a tragic showdown?

Hehe. Guess you have to read the fic to find out! :P

[blackstarchanx3new]

FSR Rambles 21

Hah. Green seeing through Vio's eyes his past mistakes haha.

"Now, onto the human towns! We'll burn them all! Spread darkness to the horizons!"

True to his word that's what he did.

Vio is uh. Rather sickened by this.

Yeah blame it on altitude sickness Vio.

Riding on Shadow's lack of knowledge of humans was a good play though.

It's been awhile since we touched on Vio masking around Shadow to save his own ass. But dude had to have been going through it during these events. And I feel like if FS had a longer run time and a T rating we could have actually seen the affects of playing evil had on him.

It couldn't have been easy.

I just like the idea he struggled a LOT more than the og manga gives us any hints towards.

Like he said to Green in the previous flashback he had to watch Shadow no doubt MURDER people and stand by and do nothing.

That'd fuck with his head.

Yeah Vio's thoughts became consumed by how little he wanted to die.

I've always had the personal head cannon that he decided to shatter the mirror after the dragon ride SPECIFIFCALLY because he'd reached his limit on how much he could allow Shadow to do and just, stand by and watch.

He'd been complicate in almost killing Red and Blue, which would fuck with somebody enough.

Had to presumably face vaati in cannon (And in FSR actually did)

Like I've brought up a few times: Why would he even BOTHER making a plan with Shadow to free Zelda if he didn't intend to act on it? Literally outside of giving Shadow hope it served no real purpose...

UnLESS that was his plan but he couldn't follow through.

Which is what I personally go with here.

Vio just fully cracked. Being so stressed out he stress vomits oomf.

Poor guy. Still being consumed by the thought he needs to act normal after EVERYTHING he's been through.

Paralyzed with fear regret and self loathing Vio just crumbles to the floor.

His main thought here is that he doesn't HAVE to kill shadow if he can just hold onto the plan he made.

But as we'll see, his resolve is crumbling faster and faster.

Vio placed so much burden on his own shoulders he crumbled. Trying to do this mission entirely by himself utterly destroyed him.

Vio's been COMPLETLY ALONE here. As much as Shadow thought they were buddy buddy Vio could NEVER fully confide in him and has been ALONE since the forest. Perhaps things would be different if he had someone by his side who also knew of his plans. But he hasn't been able to be honest or had an outlet for all his feelings for DAYS now at least. Possibly longer.

I think I've ranted before about how HIS arc was about learning to lean on his team mates and I wanted to feed into that.

Except Vio doesn't really come to that conclusion now but rather decides he just needs to get out of this scenario right the fuck now.

Which is why since I'm trying to build off the manga: he acts VERY RASH.

Because imo that scene where he gets pissed is just, so badly written due to the manga's context and shit but I digress... (I don't like Tingle's inclusion much at all tbh he doesn't add literally anything to the story and instead fucks up Vio's arc. Bla bla I've went on this rant many times.)

It finally just hit him.

He's unable to keep this up.

As he steels his resolve to do what he's about to do.

Vio's monologue here really dips into how I think he'd end up in a LOT of denial.

He's just telling himself lie after lie to justify the situation he ended up in and his new choices he'll make.

And it all culminates to.

And we know the events of the manga haha.

I liked portraying just how desperate Vio was in these circumstances since again: I don't think the manga portrayed it at maximum capacity cause of the A rating and left most of it up to interpretation.

I like adding Vio's thoughts where we otherwise have no real clue what he was thinking at the time. It's a lot of fun. XD

"What's sitting on me"

More like WHO Green. XD

Apparently showing others things takes a bigger toll on Dark compared to just viewing it by himself.

He's very unenthusiastic even when saying "Yay Dark Link" XD

Green just, stares in utter horror soaking in everything he just witnessed through Vio's perspective.

Oh boy someone cracked like an egg.

Funny how your eye glitched there Green.

Dark Link's "Wtf is wrong with YOU?" Face never ceases to make me smile. Dude's so weirded out by Green just breaking here.

Green's self hating outburst is so jarring to Dark he tries to interrupt him.

Though Dark's nervousness could be for a LOT OF reasons:

He could just be genuinely shocked and worried for Green. Which I think is valid since Dark hasn't really seen someone act this way before.

But also, whenever anybody is angry (Vaati and Shadow): They tend to take it out on him physically.

Dark's reactions is straight up like "Fuck did I break him???" X'D

It's funny how much Dark's perspective on making them suffer has changed.

From delighting in Vio's terror to being disturbed at Green's mental breakdown.

Green's rant is pretty self evidently aimed at his own actions. Thinking he couldn't ever relate to what Vio went through, and considering himself worthless garbage which. oomf ouch buddy.

Dark does quite frankly the funniest things he could do by just, aggressively rubbing his face against Green's like a cat.

Mmm. Darkgreen.

Okay but seriously I just love these two's dynamic. XD

Green's practically BEGGING this "evil dude" to reprimand him and tell him he's an awful leader and horrible at everything he's tried to do and he's just NOT getting that energy from Dark at ALL.

Dark's made his thoughts on Green pretty clear, he thinks Green's a good hero even with his mistakes.

Specifically the fourth panel where he's got the star eyes you can really tell the dude has admiration for Green. XD

I just love Dark's face after Green blurts out that he doesn't do enough too.

It's like he had to really think about what he was going to say in response to that.

Usually when Dark thinks someone is wrong he'll call them stupid in some capacity, but here he takes a different route.

Dark's response is really, simple.

A genuine question.

"...When will it be enough Green?"

Dark's standards for what a hero are and what he deems a good hero or person are rather...tilted but he's accurately called out Vaati and Shadow for shit and he's not afraid to be brutally honest.

I think the brutal honesty of this statement is showing just how vacuous and large the shit Green has put on his own shoulders that he nor Dark know the end of what he's truly signed up for.

And that realization makes Green just break further.

Apologizing that he shouldn't even be able to confide in Dark someone who thus far hasn't even really complained about Green's breakdown at all.

Green's dialogue in the last panel is telling about how he's facing a lot of guilt in breaking down in front of Dark because technically: He should be protecting everyone FROM HIM.

He's breaking down in front of someone who's for all intensive purposes their ENEMY and their current biggest issue.

The guy Green has to decide whether or not to KILL.

And Dark's the one giving in his own way comfort to HIM.

This scenario from Green's perspective at least is all sorts of screwed up.

Poor baby's so stressed he reverts to his manga design

Green further goes onto say that telling Dark his insecurities was a mistake.

Which, is a fair thing to say lol. Dude essentially trauma dumped on Dark XDDD

Literally when I was drawing this scene I thought of this meme lmfao.

Which is awful but I have shitposter brain.

Smth I like about panel 3 & 4 is how Dark goes to wipe away Green's tears. Which is something Green did for him earlier.

Dark can and will reflect positivity if it's given to him.

People keep only feeding him negativity but Green showed him unconditional kindness and he gave it back.

I like how they have a positive effect on each other despite everything haha.

Again peeking into Dark's twisted idea of pain and pleasure.

He's just happy to be suffering WITH someone for a change. Misery loves company.

Green kinda asks a kinda dumb question here. But him asking if Dark feels "hurt" isn't a completely weird question...Like. This thing is a monstrous curse wearing your face it isn't far off to try to clarify some stuff. XD

Dark's response is just, kinda sad.

He's always suffering and always in pain.

Green's quick to try and play off his avoidance of an answer to Zelda and SHadow as Dark keeping him in the head space but ahhh...

Green buddy...You're choosing to stay here with Dark. XD

Dark's quick to point that out too lmfao.

I especially love how he immediately gets disapointed Green is saying smth stupid by asking if he "got hit with the same stupid" which just is a hilarious way to word saying something dumb.

I just like that he can flip from cute to intimidating evil guy in a blink of an eye. XDDD

So Dark's monologue here I got stuff to say haha.

Dark immediately isn't a fan of the idea of being by himself, by his continuous emphasis of being LEFT alone, "By MYSELF...ALONE" The idea Green would be abandoning him in some way if he left.

Also him just aggressively gripping green's face like he's trying to hold onto him in some capacity to keep him there. Oomf.

Often times Dark's "Evil villain" mannerisms like grabbing people isn't him being purposely space invading and sinister but his desperate subconscious pleas for SOMEONE to stay close to him. He's not going out of his way to make people uncomfortable.

He's so unintentionally stereotypically evil and I like that about him haha. He knows to an extent he's intimidating but isn't TRYING to be.

I think that's a fun contrast with Shadow who goes out of his way to invade people's space to MAKE them uncomfortable (like Vio in the woods hah)

Back to his dialogue. He points out Green doesn't want to leave either.

Which is true.

"Cause if you leave...you'll have to return to responsibility. Pretending the sorce of your problems is in the hands of some horrible demon that ensnared you... Instead of a product of your own misgivings and foolishness"

This is in reference to the here and now but ALSO when Green was hunted in the pyramid. He got himself into that situation too haha.

Dark referring to himself as a "horrible demon" shows that he's HIGHLY aware of how Green is perceiving him to a degree.

Green in a way wants to believe Dark Link is pure evil. Which would make the choice he has to make whether or not to spare him easier. Like Shadow said. if he was mindless this would be MUCH EASIER. It'd a a no brainer. But he's NOT and that results in a lot of pain over what to do about him.

A lot of Dark's questions have been rhetorical. He KNOWS Green is pretty much USING him right now to avoid responsibility and is KINDA fine with that?

He makes a light hearted (At least in his opinion) jab that Green's being selfish and taking up his time when he "promised" Blue earlier he'd spend time with him. (Which is funny considering time doesn't really exist here) Being visibly embarrassed Green in a round about way WANTS to spend time with him.

On the HORRIFYING realization about what Dark confessed to planning Green PANICS.

Reasonably he knows what Dark considers "Fun" even if he's not being outright malicious.

Also not so fun visual fact: Dark flinches when Green grabs him.

Which is just sad how he's just used to getting the crap kicked out of him that he fully expected Green to hit him.

Okay I'd be totally skimping out on dumb FSR facts if I didn't tell ya "Love like mine" wasn't a song I listened to on repeat while drawing this scene.

Very strong DarkGreen vibes XDDD "I'll make ya scream and I'll make you want it! You can be my ride or die" mmm delicious. Give more more. Finally some good fucking food.

Anyway page lol.

Dark realizing Green is holding his hand is just kinda cute. Like of course that's what he'd care about lmfao.

Meanwhile Green's full panicking about Dark confessing he was gonna go mentally fuck with Blue later. XDDD

Like dude's on his knees begging Dark not to, even offering to trade places.

I mean, what'd really be the difference after all?

He's gotta bear all the burdens...Doesn't he?

Link's put that pressure on him at least.

It kinda just shows how self punishing Green is at this point. Thinking he fucked up so bad he needs Dark to take it out on him.

Which isn't the POINT of what Dark does. Dark only really haunts them as a means to an end to keep them split and Vaati safe, but also as his own selfish desire to connect with them. Like how he spoke to Vio after Blue ran off.

Green seeking someone to hold him accountable for SOMETHING is just, oomf.

I think it's fun to dive into the idea Green REALLY doesn't know if Dark is faking being kind to him.

I mean, their biggest adversaries lied to them via transforming and using their loved ones MUTLIPLE TIMES. (Vaati shifting into Zelda, using their dad against them, even Vio 'turning' on them, trust would be something VERY HARD TO DO at that point I think.) Deception on the enemy's side isn't unexpected at all.

That he's hinging on the slightest chance Dark IS being genuine with him that he'll listen and not hurt the people he cares about. Whether or not Dark has Free will AT ALL.

He is a curse, it's not far fetched to think he just... CAN'T NOT do what he's designed to do.

Dark for his part is at first, contemplative.

Green's really showing just how AWFUL what he does to people is in a lot of ways. Dark has a certain cognitive disconnect in the sense he struggles to accept in a lot of ways how he truly affects Link.

Though reading Green's mind he distracts himself with "Lol wtf are you doing and what does it prove?" When Green makes the assumption that if he can change Dark's mind than he really is a person who can be reasoned with.

People can be reasoned with, mindless program following curses can not. UwU

Turns out begging is smth Dark's into lmfao so Green's pleading tickled a nerve.

I fucking love Dark's wrong word usage to describe things.

The idea Green WANTS HIM for him to STAY with Green just fills the guy with joy. Even if it's just because Green's being self hating and desperate to save his team mates.

Dark Link likes being wanted.

Green is WANTED by people, and being wanted by GREEN specifically just makes the guy just so happy.

And Dark struggles to really fully describe what he's feeling in the moment because genuine JOY isn't something this guy is getting very often.

Baby is so happy he cries.

Dark's just such a sad dude.

Expressing he's just happy Green cares about him. Mentioning Blue here too but Green is showing compassion for Dark in the sense he doesn't WANT to hurt him.

By HOPING for Dark to be able to be reasoned with, by wanting Dark to be someone he could talk to he IS caring about Dark's safety which isn't smth the dude has gotten from ANYONE ELSE so far.

he even confides he wishes he could stay with Green forever and just be happy with him which is just all sorts of sad.

Ooomf these pages fuck me up man.

Dark LOVES the idea of being with Green. Someone he not only idolizes but the ONLY person so far who has given a single solitary shit about him.

He's so lonely and SO sick of being a conduit for sadness that this sounds infinitely more appealing to him. (Who could blame him lmfao)

Smth to note is how Green is kinda hesitant to fully wrap his arms around Dark Link until it truely sets in for him that Dark truly is just a sad lonely individual who's in a lot of ways a fellow victim as well.

Dark being the one to push Green away, to reject the idea they'd just stay together is pretty telling.

He HAS to "Work"...If he doesn't...

The thought of Vaati dying is just, too distressing for Dark to even fully consider abandoning his mission to do something he'd personally like better.

I just, LOVE the dialogue in panel 3 here.

It's so blatantly ignorant in it's childishness but honest.

It's the kind of thing a child would say about their divorced parents or something lmfao.

Just a simple want without thinking of the greater picture that goes with things and WHY things are the way they are.

Dark Link just can't fathom why the people he loves have to hate each other so much. Why they can't just "get along".

Why he has to work at all.

It's just Dark being bluntly honest about how he feels about this entire situation.

Unlike Green, in the final panel Dark finally steels what little resolve he has and states "I don't wanna do anything either...but I have to"

Both are EXAUSTED and at their wits ends and that's smth I like to this dynamic.

If either were more set in fighting each other they'd both BE fighting. For all intensive purposes THEY SHOULD BE.

But because they're both so exhausted they're actually able to talk about how they feel.

Dark once again compares Zelda to Vaati.

In how his devotion is similar to Link's devotion to Zelda.

Protecting Vaati IS what is most important to him.

And he knows he's doing something wrong on SOME level because he apologizes to Green. His hat curled against him defensively.

Green is once again in panic mode since what little leverage he had is slipping through his grasp as Dark steels himself against Green's attempts at persuading him.

Also Green lmao Dark has big dick back pain disorder watch were you grab him-

But he does make a good point in his frantic pleads.

Protecting Vaati doesn't necessarily mean hurting them...

That was Dark's approach as a mindless curse...but now that he is a person with a sense of morality, a sense of heroics. Will he still abide by that strategy?

Green's frantic ramblings are just funny as hell but also his diplomacy should get a sticker or smth. Dude's fighting for his life rn. XD

Dark starts to crack under Green's onslaught of LOGIC.

Smth I like to add to that is how Dark's hair faded out of being green while he talked about his feelings before but switches BACK to being green as Green talks.

And then he rejects it to think for himself for a second to really ponder Green's words.

My favorite bit of his "STFU" dialogue is just to tell Green to "STOP MAKING SENSE!!!" which is so funny to me.

SO much about Dark's original purpose has been thrown out of whack due to the progression of things. Vaati's demands are rather nonsensical.

He comes to the realization that things HAVE changed and he needs to adapt accordingly.

To some extent: Dark is just COMPELLED to act heroic and he even considers himself failing in the regard that he's been NOT acting heroic lately.

The more Dark becomes sentient. The more he feels the need to act heroic. Which is curious.

Green's diplomacy worked Yippieeeee!

Also Dark's hair continues to be grey here which imo was always just to show these really were his own thoughts and he wasn't just mimicking Green.

Dark's willing to "Try" things Green's way.

Smth I like is his act of making a pinky promise with Green. Smth just so blatantly childish in it's innocence.

But Green's compelled to believe him due to just how dang excited the dude is to give it a try.

Lmfao. Him acknowledging up front he's not sure how well things will go is just extra "Dark trying to be honest" flare. Which I find fun. He's willing to try his best but won't lie and pretend it'll go perfectly. XD

Green framing Dark going to get Blue as "A mission" was simultaneously stupid as fuck but also smart idea. XD

He doesn't know where Blue ran off to...but DARK LINK DOES.

And Since Dark was going to speak to Blue anyway, might as well tell him to bring him home. XDD

On the other hand: Trusting Dark Link is probably a bad idea. XDDD

Green's gambling hard but doesn't have much of a choice.

Green adding on "I'm trusting you" while looking Dark in the eye is just the cherry on top.

MMMGH I wanna continue ranting but we reached the image limit.

[noddytheornithopod]

Some more in-depth Tales of the Empire thoughts/questions

This is really nerdy and nitpicky of me to ask, but... what is Barriss' Inquisitor name? I can't help but wanna know. Then again, we don't know Marrok's name either, and also what the fuck up is with bird man (who until confirmed otherwise I'm treating as the the Sixth Brother being an edgelord dressing as a plague doctor, I will insist the only reason they aren't calling him Sixth Brother is because then the Lucasfilm Story Group would have to admit Tales of the Jedi overwrote published material in significant ways, and then they'd get more angry nerds than they already have to deal with, lol).

I do kind of wish we leaned a bit more into Barriss' established relationships a bit, Luminara Unduli is indirectly mentioned in the last short, and Barriss mentions having a "old friend" who would know more about the Imperials hunting after kids which I HAVE to imagine is Ahsoka... but we don't really explore these. Like, if she DID reconnect with Ahsoka, I kind of wish we got to see that? I do understand why Luminara didn't appear, with Barriss' characterisation I don't think she could've gone through with killing her if they had a test, but still. I don't know if we needed to see her react to her death, but part of me is curious about that anyway. I will say she seemed to sense something when Vader entered the room, though. Did she sense a familiar presence there? Also surprised they didn't even throw in a small nod to how the Grand Inquisitor became what he was because he heard Barriss' speech and that suddenly validated everything he thought already (if you follow the comics anyway). Not even a simple "pleased to see you as a candidate after your rousing speech" line (which was given to... see below). I wouldn't have called this necessary for the story itself, but I always found it annoying that we have to go off on so much of GI's backstory based on paratext instead of actual stories. Also, still don't know his original name even after a decade, RIP.

On a similar note, I'm not really sure how I feel about Lyn Rakish? Specifically, how her relationship was the central one to Barriss' here. I'm not opposed to Barriss knowing more people, it even helps make these characters' lives feel bigger, but I do kind of feel like there's stuff here that would be nice to know. Like, even when Lyn enters her cell, Barriss recognises her, and they way they interact throughout the shorts implies some kind of connection. Especially since...

...her stabbing Barriss was what made her snap out of being an Inquisitor. Okay, I'm not really sure how to feel about this. I love where Barriss ends up, but also... I'm not really sure how I feel about dying? If she's even dead? The scene was clearly mirroring the second short, where Barriss wanted to save that other Jedi, and nothing suggested that she never got to save her (I mean, she's known as "the healer" next short for crying out loud, also hey nice Legends callback), so even if Barriss looks far more dead, there is that part of me still in denial, lol. But thing is, it's kinda like they went "this is actually about Lyn, not Barriss". Sure, Barriss reclaimed her old self and her development was arguably "complete" in that sense, but that doesn't always have to mean death? Meanwhile, we only really get to know Lyn through these shorts, and while I'm very pro-villain redemption, I'm not sure if doing this through three shorts was enough to do it justice. So I'm kinda feeling like being asked to feel for a character finally returning to the light because she maybe killed her sorta protege while barely knowing anything about their actual relationship on a personal level is kinda eh.

That's something I felt in general. Maybe I'm just greedy, but I really wanted MORE of Barriss' story. Like, at least make it clear why Lyn is someone important in her life besides giving her a literal get out of jail card.

With Fortress Inquisitorius, I do think it's interesting they show it being built, but also not really alluding to how the headquarters is apparently on Coruscant, especially with Vader's throne and all. I don't think there's any real contradictions though, the Inquisitorius probably had several bases (I wonder if Stygeon Prime in Rebels was another?), and the main one just became Fortress Inquisitorius when Vader was given reign over the Mustafar System and therefore Nur, where FI is located.

Barriss' line about how she felt like she was lied to and deceived is actually pretty clever, because its placement is almost like an admission she was wrong. She's still clinging to the Inquisitorius by justifying it as "the Jedi failed because of their hubris, they deserved it, we're here to bring peace and order" but her heart was clearly never in it. Despite feeling like the Jedi betrayed their principles, she actually still followed them. In a way, I think it even kind of recontextualises the Temple Bombing, because it feels more like Barriss being panicked and desperate, basically having a breakdown. She did go to the Dark Side, but with the kind of person she is, those emotions aren't natural to her. We see she can certainly still go there, that other former Jedi basically saying "screw you, all for me" certainly evoked betrayal which would evoke those dark emotions, and of course she goes along with the Inquisitorius basically to survive, aka out of fear, and as mentioned justifying it to herself by saying this is justice for how the Jedi "fell" even if she's clearly hypocritical in that regard. We then see in the final short she's reconciled her past with the Jedi, talking fondly of her time as one, and regretting her turning to the Dark Side.

Huh, just noticed the Jedi is referred to with they/them pronouns.

Now for the other stuff

I don't have as much to say about Morgan, but I will say that Bo-Katan receiving the distress call kinda cleared up a contrivance in The Mandalorian for me. I was like "okay sure, even IF Bo-Katan still was in contact with Ahsoka, how would she know exactly where she is at this moment? what if she went off somewhere else?" But then this episode makes it clear Bo received the call, and thus would've figured out what was going on, and then actually tell Ahsoka to go to Corvus.

I hope the Eli Vanto fans are okay, especially since Pellaeon was shown as Thrawn's number 2 in the short. What I will say is - this was just a glimpse of one mission, this isn't retconning Eli out of existence. Thrawn and Eli wouldn't have been together on every single mission.

Morgan was the original person to pitch the TIE Defender? Huh, that is certainly a very random piece of lore. Also, surprised there's still Venator Star Destroyers instead of all Imperial Is at this point.

When Thrawn asks her the real reason she wants the Empire's favour and admits it's revenge, he accepts. He also shows interest in the Nightsisters even here. I do wonder if what made him receptive was he could kind of empathise on some level, if the threat of the Grysk made him open to Morgan's desire to avenge her sisters.

Mountain Clan appears in visual media, cool. Now people know there's even more witches on Dathomir. With the new lore about the Nightsisters, I do wonder if the other clans also have extragalactic origins in Peridea, or if they developed independently and it's specifically the Nightsister sect that was from there. Either way, it seems like the Nightsisters were the biggest and most powerful, apparently Talzin even united many witch clans. Also, I wonder if Morgan and her mother were originally from another clan but moved to the Nightsisters? Because obviously they look pretty different from the standard Nightsisters. Also was interesting to see the architecture resemble what we see in Jedi: Fallen Order, so that was cool.

Also thought it was a cool touch that the Separatists weren't done killing everyone on Dathomir. We only see the initial battle in one location in Massacre from The Clone Wars, but it does help make the genocide feel bigger, even showing that even other non-Nightsister clans weren't entirely safe. IDK if this makes the droid gunships appear earlier than implied to be their creation in TCW Season 5 (then again, chronologically the Dathomir and Onderon arcs are back to back), but also Grievous didn't have a cape in massacre, which is the REAL crime of this short. Hashtag remove his cape!!!!!!!!!!

[fairyroses]

He was about to kill you, Lex. Or divulge something you didn't want me to know.

— SMALLVILLE, "Forever" (4.21)

+ bonus from "Arctic" (7.20):

[nebulouscoffee]

That scene between Tuvok and B'Elanna from 'Resistance' wrecks me actually... It's such a great moment for both characters (and actors, Tim Russ is SO underrated ugh) which highlights the differences between the two of them so well- yet, ultimately shows that under certain circumstances (in this case, torture) the distinctions between people... don't really matter. In an episode full of political violence, this moment is so significant, and I don't even really think I have the smarts to articulate why but I'll try lol.

TORRES: We told you already. We don't know anything about the Resistance.  AUGRIS: I've heard that many times, from many people. Take him.  (The forcefield is lowered, and Torres grabs the guard that steps through.)  TUVOK: Lieutenant, stop! That will not help either of us.  AUGRIS: He's right.

Everything about the way this scene (and the final shot where she's shoved back into her seat) is framed makes B'Elanna appear small, helpless- and embarrassed at her own helplessness- in that cell. We see her fidgeting, unable to sit down, constantly trying to break out or improvise her way out of the situation (she gets electrocuted earlier while trying to tamper with the circuitry)- it makes me wonder whether Tuvok was chosen to be tortured not because they believed he was more likely to have information, but because B'Elanna was more likely to be demoralised watching helplessly as he's dragged off. Augris's line implies that he's "broken" a great many people in the past; a tactic to instil fear and a helpless sense of inevitability in them both (torture doesn't work as a reliable way of extracting information; this is stated in dialogue in other Trek episodes such as 'Chain of Command' so the assertion here is at least not that- but what it does do is demoralise the public involved in resistances like this one.)

Later, B'Elanna is still trying to escape (do the guards know she's doing this? Are they just not intervening?) and she hears him screaming. Tuvok is someone who considers letting others witness him lose control over his exterior a huge (indecent, violating, humiliating) vulnerability, and the fact that he's the one being tortured is Not Insignificant in this context but like- it could've been the other way round. And B'Elanna knows that. It could've been her, and perhaps a small, scared part of her is relieved that it wasn't her, which is an awful way to feel (and if there's one thing B'Elanna hates, it's feeling like a coward). Also- the sheer violation of this, for B'Elanna to have witnessed him in this state, against her will- to later see him bloodied and weakened and flung in a cell, to have heard him screaming in pain- without his consent, knowing she can never un-witness it, knowing it wasn't her fault but still being put in such a situation where she has now played that role... Does this experience forcibly rewrite their respective conceptualisations of each other? Was Tuvok even thinking of her- somewhere outside, listening, worrying, blaming herself, fearing for herself, feeling ashamed, feeling so aware of him and her and the shared humiliation of this- when he was in there? Did seeing her upon coming back out change things? Could it ever change things? Did her presence, even as an outsider, whose memories of this event will always be (visually, at least) the constructs of her imagination- somehow make what happened in there real? Does her role as witness- and her memory thereby carrying some sort of legitimisation of what happened to him now, however warped and coloured by her own perspective and fears and embarrassment- make things better for Tuvok? Does it make things worse? Would he rather have endured this in secret? Would it have been better if she were a total stranger? Would it have been worse? And does any of this even matter when, for a moment, your life (your personhood, your goals, your presence) was completely reduced to what you "must endure"?

AUGRIS: We don't have to ask your friend any more questions, if you give us the answers.  TORRES: I told you I don't.  (Torres stops herself from hitting Augris, who leaves.)  TORRES: I'm sorry. I guess I always assumed that Vulcans didn't feel pain like the rest of us. That you were able to block it out somehow. Until I heard. Was that you I heard?

And the way B'Elanna's voice breaks when she asks this, as if she was still somehow hoping the answer would be no... There are complexities to this which again I don't feel like I'm smart enough to articulate, but like- yes, B'Elanna would like to hear that it wasn't him because that would mean her friend wasn't tortured "that badly", he wasn't put through "enough pain" to scream that way, and it's easier and more comfortable to think of violence (and violation) as something you can rank on a scale, and the lower on it Tuvok's experience ranks, the better! the more easy it will be for them to "move past" this! - but also, there's this element of "I want the answer to be no because that would mean I would not have been a participant in your humiliation, just some stranger's whose voice I don't have a face to put to, which is much better than having to know what you (my friend, my colleague, my respected senior officer, someone I will have to see every day on the bridge, someone I know prefers to keep vulnerabilities hidden even deeper than anyone else I know) sound like when you scream. But also... it doesn't really matter, does it...? Whatever he says, there always was still a moment- however brief- where B'Elanna heard a man screaming in agony, and thought it could've been Tuvok. And in that moment, that possibility was created. Now, it will always exist. That moment will always have happened. It will always have done something to her. It will always exist between them; an ugly, uncomfortable bond.

And this is getting into even more things I'm not smart enough to articulate, but like- it's pretty significant to me that B'Elanna is one of the few characters who never actually tries to poke Tuvok into Doing An Emotion, even normally. She doesn't consider trying to get him to crack an entertaining pastime, unlike others (and I'm sure her experiences of feeling like an outsider- always- feeling Very Visible As Klingon, play a role in this- "all they ever saw was my forehead" does not lend itself so kindly to "let's see if we can get Mr. Vulcan to smile", "why, Tuvok, it seems you've been corrupted by Human (read: default) rituals after all!"- it's a light-hearted joke for many, sure, but what if Tuvok genuinely considers the idea of smiling in the presence of others reflective of a humiliating loss of control and deeply debasing?) I think it's pretty clear from canon that he's just being himself; he's not trying to be a killjoy or trying to be mean, he's just Vulcan. And this is one of the few moments in Trek I can think of when a Vulcan's perceived "control" over their emotions is not connected with their reluctance to laugh or cry or say something sentimental, but... this. B'Elanna is shocked, she's horrified, she demands an explanation as to how he can possibly go through something like this and not feel the desire to "fight back" in a way she understands- and the way she cannot grant him the pretence of not having witnessed, here, the way she can't just shove this in a box, pretend she never heard, because she's just so fundamentally honest- and Tuvok (who is also so fundamentally honest), in a painful moment of openness, tells her exactly what his reasoning is. He lets her see. He lets her hear; on his own terms. He wants for her to understand (for her to witness?) his (very Vulcan) distinction between resistance and endurance; his understanding of endurance as its own form of resistance. Idk it's such a quietly powerful and like- devastating- moment for me... So many people try, over and over, thoughout the show, to get Tuvok to break his Vulcansona- try to make him smile, make him say tender things, make him get irritated- just to see if they can do it. Just to see if he'll ever crack. I bet B'Elanna wishes she never had.

[eriexplosion]

I'm trying so hard not to continue an argument on Reddit with someone that insists on being wrong because it's a pointless endeavor but also I'm feeling the bite of my terminal need to be right so I'm just.

But to myself. In my head. Not letting myself type it.

[frostfairysteve]

there are so many things i need to do, but i'm five seconds away from a breakdown, and the closer that i get to my birthday, the more my mood will fluctuate

so that's fun

[non-un-topo]

Went to a support group specifically for FTMs last night and had a good time. Surprised myself by tearing up. That's not a very cis sign, is it

[muninnhuginn]

For character bingo: Camilla Hect

Thanks for asking! I accidentally deleted my initial response to this so I'm going to go hide in a corner, I think. Anyway, I used little spiral things so hopefully it's clear what I went for.

Honestly, when I first read GtN, I liked Fifth and Sixth House but it was in a kind of "we hardly knew ye" way. So I thought Cam was neat and I thought Pal was super neat, but I was much more into the mystery aspects of the book. It actually took me until NtN for me to actually become properly attached to Cam, but I suspect I'll understand a lot more about her when I get around to a full reread of the series.

I think with Cam, she's generally the most sensible person in the room, unless it's about Pal and then her objectivity goes out the window. But her objectivity goes out of the window in a self-aware way? She knows she's biased here and she doesn't care to shield herself against it, which is why it's so tragic when she has to face the consequences of that. You can't talk about Cam without also talking about Pal because they're so codependent. That's why Paul was inevitable.

"If anything happens to them" and "canon isn't real", well, let's just say I have some mixed feelings about Paul. I'll have to see what happens with them come Alecto, but at least as of Nona, it feels like both of campal are gone and it's an irreversible reaction as far as we know. And yes, it was their choice. It seemed like their only route to some form of survival.

But Paul still told Nona that they would pick an option that neither Cam nor Pal would. What is it like to lose yourself to the very one you would dedicate yourself to? To mutually subsume each other until you're neither pink nor blue but purple? They aren't either of Cam or Pal. They're gone and someone entirely new is in their place.

[thethingything]

I find it kind of interesting that we have a couple of delusions (and the hallucinations that come with those) that just kind of involve gruesome stuff happening to us, especially because they weren't as gruesome at first but have gotten more so over time.

the hallucinations are all somatic ones (sensations instead of visuals or audio) but they're stuff like I guess what our brain thinks it would feel like if our organs were decomposing, or being eaten by maggots, or just stuff with a similar vibe to that?

I can put up with it for the most part, but like I did nearly throw up on the bed because of it earlier and I'd really like to not experience that again

[tonyglowheart]

reading thru old meta posts on qian qiu and there's like, some stuff I agree with sure but there's also a lot I don't lol. w like yan wushi especially. there's a lot of. I think too much conventional-mindedness in approaching yws even from the ppl who did like him as a character. saying he's a difficult character, and is meant to be a difficult character, but then still framing him along more conventional moral frameworks. yet another apartment 'complex'? strange, I find it quite simple moments.

[mountain-lion-gremlin]

GUYS SO YOU KNOW IVE TALKED A BIT ABOUT HAVING A LOVER

AND I JUAT GOT THE WONDERFUK OPPORTUNITY TO TALK WITH HIS LAZY ASS PARENTS

(GUYS HE GOT HIS PHONE TAKEN AWAY I AM SK SAD)

BUT LIKE THIA BITCH IS SO LAZY COULDNT EVEN BOTHER TO TRY AND REPLICATE HOW MY PRETTY BOY TALKS

like from the get go I could tell it wasn't him it was SO FISHHYYY

(*gossip girl voice is fully activated btw*)

But also I am so worried for him. I hope they weren't snooping, and I'm glad I followed my gut and didn't try to make contact immediately again outside of the one chat we have

Because if they found out he would be in absolute HEAPS of trouble.

I hope he gets his phone back soon. I can't wait for him to return.