#but fuck I've been dealing with this shit for 11 years and this feeling of pollution and tar just grow more and more as I get older

[mieczyhale]

one of the guys that runs a reaction channel i've been watching for ages just announced that they're ending the channel next year bc he got a job offer and he's getting married and he's thinking about his family and his future and like...

my son in christ you are 21

i literally want to fucking die

[anjaelle]

hii, can you write a dave lisewski x reader where reader is new at school and he volunteers to give her a tour of the school. Dave thinks she is really pretty and wants to be her friend, he asks questions about her and finds out that she likes comics and superhero’s just like he does and he asks her to come to his house after school to watch a new marvel movie that just came out. she says yes and they watch the movie at his house. during the movie dave just can’t keep his eyes off of her and he’s so in love with her even though he just met her.The movie ends and he walks her home because it’s getting late and he doesn’t want her to possibly get into some kind of danger. when they make it to her house( he finds out that they live close to one another) she thanks him for being so kind to her and kisses him on the cheek. he blushes and wishes her a goodnight. from then on they become great friends and maybe even more. (SORRY THIS IS SO LONG, js wanted it to be detailed so it’s easier for you!!🤭)

@baddestdu0y3t

Pairing: Dave Lizewski x New Girl!Reader

Warnings: None. Except general teen awkwardness?

a/n: Ok so I'll be honest and say that I haven't written for highschool characters since I was a highschooler myself about 10-11 years ago. So I'm admittedly a bit rusty. I probably won't make this a regular thing, because I don't really think I'm good at it haha. And I changed some things around and cut some things out for brevity, but kept the important bits. It kind of feels like a coming-of-age romcom.

(gif source)

--x--

Dave would happily get stabbed and hit by a car twenty more times if it meant he wouldn't have to deal with the current situation he was in. He'd dripped oil from his bacon egg and cheese in his lap, and tried to clean the stain with soap and water, which created an almost bigger stain. The hand dryer in the mens room wasn't working, there were no paper towels, and he was running late to homeroom. Todd gave him a sympathetic pat on the back and offered the ever-helpful comment, "Don't freak. It'll dry eventually."

But it'd been a half hour, and it hadn't dried completely. A few people passed him with looks of disgust.

This day was already turning out to be shit, and it was only 9 AM. He shoved his head in his locker, wishing that a sinkhole would form in the middle of the school and swallow him whole. As the hallway cleared, he noticed you looking down at at a paper and distractedly walking in one direction before turning a corner and disappearing. You then turned back around and walked past him again in the other direction, with a furrowed brow and a pouting lower lip. When you turned to pass him a third time, he closed his locker and awkwardly leaned up against it.

"Hey! Are you lost?" He nearly shouted at you. You stopped short, startled out of whatever daze you were in, and looked at him as if you didn't even notice there was another person in the hall until now. Any plans he had to have a normal conversation left him immediately. He cut his eyes away from you. It was like staring into the sun.

"Hi." You re-adjusted your bag on your shoulder, "And yeah. This school is way bigger than my old one and I'm kinda turned around."

"Oh, yeah, totally, for sure. It's--yeah, it's big." He said awkwardly pulling at the straps of his backpack, "I mean, the school is big. The halls are big. It's a maze. Even I still get lost sometimes, and I've been here almost 4 years."

God, Dave, shut the fuck up.

You giggled at him and he felt his cheeks warm at the sound of it.

"Um, can you help me?" You asked, quirking your head to get a better look at him.

"Sure. Yeah, I can walk you to your next class."

You smiled at him and he smiled back, revealing the cutest dimples you'd ever seen.

"What about your class?"

He peeked at your schedule and his brows disappeared under the curls on his forehead, "We have the same homeroom. So we'll be going the same way."

He was very different from the boys you talked to at your previous school. You thought of what your old friends would say about him. You weren't super popular or anything, but you navigated most social spaces with relative ease. It also meant hiding a lot of yourself. Dave had a kind face and warm eyes that studied you with a sense of eager curiosity that flattered you. Incidentally, you were curious about him too.

When you introduced yourself to him and shook his hand, you noticed immediately how strong his grip was and his calloused palms. Most guys you knew with hands like those played contact sports. He didn't seem like the type, at first glance. He seemed to notice your surprise but didn't quite understand the reason behind it.

"Sorry if my hands are sweaty," he said, instinctively wiping them on his pants.

You rushed to ease his fears, "No they weren't! You're fine." And then, "Do you play sports?"

"Nope. I mean...sometimes I play Wii Tennis. I don't know if that counts though."

You giggled again, "I think that counts."

Interesting. Maybe he did woodworking or mechanic stuff like your dad. You made a mental note for later.

You both strolled down the hall in no real rush to make it to your destination as you talked. He was incredibly animated and spoke with his hands when he got into the groove of the conversation. And when you talked about your old school or your family, he actively listened and asked even more questions.

"You're really cool," he finally said, breathlessly. If you could visibly blush, you're sure you would've. You've been called a lot of things, but never "cool" with such earnestness. "I just wish I'd met you when I didn't have bacon stains on my pants."

He looked down at himself again and grimaced at his own misfortune. You could almost laugh at how resigned he was. Like this was just an everyday thing he had to deal with.

"You could just do what the girls do when we have stains on our pants," you suggested. He quirked a questioning brow and you motioned with your hands. "Tie your hoodie around your waist. It'll hide the stain pretty well, I think."

His eyes widened like you'd revealed the secrets of the universe to him, "I...didn't even think of that."

He immediately took his backpack off and dropped it to the ground to unzip his hoodie. When you noticed his tee shirt, you heard an eager gasp slip from you before you could really stop it. His shirt had the different sketched out iterations of Batman's costume designs over the years, which included a mix of his comic and movie suits.

"I just really like your shirt." You explained as he tied his sweater around his waist. "I was raised in a DC household. My dad has a big box of old school batman comics in our basement that I used to poke through when I was a kid."

His face lit up at your confession, "You like comic books?"

"I used to. I mostly just watch the movies now. The good ones, anyway." You said, shrugging. In truth, you hadn't picked a comic up since middle school. You missed reading them sometimes, but you never really had anyone to talk about them with. So you just stopped. You explained as much to him and he hummed in thought.

"Well, you can always talk about them with me. Do you like Marvel, too?"

You scrunched your nose up at him and he gasped.

"I'm sorry," you couldn't help but laugh at his dismayed expression, "I just think most Marvel movies are corny. And the comics can be a little soap opera-y to me. Maybe I'll give the comics another try, but I don't think I've seen any recent movies other than Black Panther and Thor Ragnarok."

When he thought about it, he couldn't really blame you for feeling that way, "If you had to choose, would you say that those were your favorites?"

"Nope," you admitted, "My favorite is Captain America: The Winter Soldier."

"And not Civil War? That one's my favorite."

You shook your head as you both approached the door to your homeroom, "I may have only seen it in parts. I don't really remember it."

He bounced on the balls of his feet nervously and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, "Well if you wanted...we could watch it at my house next Saturday. Only if you want. My dad and my friend Todd will be there, so it won't be just us. But they won't be weird either. At least, I don't think so."

You smiled at him as he babbled on, only reaching out to lightly touch his arm. "Let me ask my mom. She might ask for your dad's number, if that's okay?"

A small smile graced his pretty face.

He nodded, "Totally."

Todd wasn't super happy with the idea of you joining their movie night. But Dave watched him warm up to you until you were both practically friends, too. He felt a twinge of jealousy at how quickly you two got along, but he summed that up to just how friendly and easy to talk to you were. He knew the movie front to back, so he couldn't help but watch you study the movie with deep interest to see how you reacted to his favorite parts. When all was said and done, the three of you sat in the living room discussing Civil War and if you were Team Cap or Team Stark. You all seemed to be in agreement that Tony was a war criminal who indoctrinated child soldiers. But you all were in disagreement about whether Tony deserved to have his ass kicked by two super soldiers.

"He literally didn't even know that he did anything wrong!" You argued to Todd, who rolled his eyes.

"You're only saying that about Bucky because you think he's hot."

"Maybe so," you admitted, "but my point still stands. He was brainwashed, he wasn't responsible."

"So you wouldn't be upset if I killed your parents, and Dave knew but hid it from you, and then beat you up when you found out?" The blond asked, popping a pretzel in his mouth, "I dunno. I'd be pretty upset."

"That's different, Dave would tell me." You responded with a coy wink at your new best friend.

Todd groaned, "You think he'd throw me under the bus for you?"

"I mean--" Dave cut in, pushing himself from the couch to stand to his feet and stretch, "--she is really pretty. And she smells nice. You're not as pretty and you just smell like Axe."

Todd gasped in mock hurt and you motioned to yourself as if to say "look at the material."

When 9:00 hit, you said goodbye to Dave's father who invited you and your family back for dinner, and hugged Todd goodbye.

"You're still wrong about Tony." He mumbled.

"You're in denial."

"You're In denial."

When you broke away to hug Dave he hesitated, "I was going to walk you home if that's okay with you. No pressure. I just...Uber is expensive on Saturday nights, and I know you don't live too far. But I don't want you to feel unsafe."

You noticed Todd shoot an odd glance at Dave before schooling his features. You made another mental note, but nodded.

"Sure, thanks."

You still weren't used to how long city blocks were. So even though you lived only a few blocks away, it felt like so much longer. Despite everything, you were surprised by how quiet this section of Manhattan was at night. Some people milled about, either going to or coming from someplace else. The air was brisk enough to add a jolt of energy to your system, but it still wasn't so cold that you felt any rush to get home.

"So what's up with the callouses?" You suddenly asked. Dave seemed confused by the question, so you grabbed his hand and held it up to him, then turned his hands over to show his reddened knuckles.

"Oh. I-I'm a...boxer. I box." He stammered, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Only my dad and Todd don't know. So don't, like, bring it up around them. They'd freak out."

You hummed, "Okay."

He let out a sigh of relief. A sharp gust of wind from a passing wind tunnel chilled you to the bone, and you looped your arm through his.

"Oh!" You said, surprised.

"Are you cold?" He leaned in closer to you, "We can walk faster if you want."

"I just..my hands are a bit cold." That didn't explain the way you were wrapped around his arm like a boa constrictor. But he didn't seem to mind. He shifted his hand in his sweater pocket.

"There's some room."

You felt your stomach flutter when his hand brushed against yours in his sweater pocket. The flutter turned into a rapid thud when his fingers laced through yours. Despite how ice cold your hands were, he didn't pull away.

"Is that okay?" He asked, shyly, fully prepared to move his hand if you objected. You gave his fingers a small squeeze.

"It's great, actually."

You carried on the casual conversation for another few blocks before stopping at a newly renovated brownstone. He realized then that your family definitely had more money than his.

"Here we are."

You slipped your hand out of his grasp when you realized you still had it in his pocket.

"So...I'll see you monday?" He asked, fidgeting with a loose piece of string on his sleeve.

"Of course."

"Awesome."

"Yeah."

You looked him over one last time before you parted ways. He was your first real friend since you moved, but you still felt like there was so much about him that you didn't know. Not because he was particularly secretive, but because you felt like there was more to him than he let on. You unconsciously reached up and moved a curl away from his eyes. A small smile pulled at the corner of his mouth, in response.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing," you said, "I just think you're really cool, Dave Lizewski."

His smile bloomed into a wide grin, exposing the deep dimples in his cheeks. "You're cool, too. Probably the coolest person I know, actually."

Your heart was thudding in your ears when you leaned up to press a gentle, lingering kiss to his cheek. Before you pulled away, you heard him gasp softly in surprise.

You suddenly felt your phone vibrate in your pocket and checked to see that it was your mom asking where you were.

You usually let your mom know ahead of time when you were on your way home, but you felt uncharacteristically out of sorts. You shot her a quick text letting her know you were outside.

"I hate to do this," you said, finally breaking him out of his stupor, "I really have to go now. Mom's asking questions. Text me when you get home, okay, Curly?"

You gently touched his arm and climbed the steps of your house to the front door. He gave you a weak thumbs up, but he still stared at you with a shocked, flushed face. "G-gotcha."

"And don't forget."

"I won't. I promise."

When you finally shut the door behind you, you peeked out of the small eyehole to watch as he touched his face in surprise and walked down the street in the wrong direction.

[twinanimatronics]

This shift in SAMS has been building for a while, bit I gotta admit I've been having some unease about the shows....

Like all three showing have gotten increasingly forward about calling out the fanbase, which seeing all the ridiculous crap coming from it seems very justified (and hilarious). But I guess between the death threats and shipping wars and suicidal bulldozing I'm a lil worried about the creators.

Do you think EC and Davis (especiallyDavis) resent the show, or the fans? Like, has all this bullshit and popularity they have to deal with now killed the love of what they're making? I've enjoyed it a lot but I cant shake the feeling that maybe they feel stuck in a obligation and cant escape....

Any thoughts?

(Davis' tweet may have answered this, but I'm slow on the uptake so community outreach instead)

Once upon a time Reed and Davis were very active with the server and the fanbase

Then a whole bunch a drama like the shit with the one minor pretending to be of age began defaming and harassing one of the mods—

Exposing their friends and family and place of work their private nsfw account over a fucking ship no less—

happened and Davis stepped in with the truth and received backlash from people who basically were all “how DARE he do this to a minor!”

When said minor could easily have been taken to court and charged as an adult like that one 11 year old was after pranking the police with a fake kidnapping instead.

I KID YOU NOT THAT HAPPENED

THE CHILD WAS ARRESTED

Being a Minor does NOT equate to a get-out-of-jail free card when you pull this kind of shit but for some reason a lot of young folks have it in their heads that if an adult does or saying anything to correct their behavior—

Even legit near criminal kind—

They’re in the wrong somehow and are disrespecting the minor who refused to show respect first when they took things to such an extreme.

And that’s why Reed and Davis don’t engage now.

[coldresolve]

Hi, I'm Elias, I'm a 26yo trans guy from Denmark. I write shit, I draw shit, and I get into unneccesarily tedious arguments with anons about torture apologia in fiction. I think that sums up my vibe

I've made a few posts about this already, but tl;dr: the Danish NHS has been refusing to treat me for gender dysphoria for the better part of a year now because they've deemed me "unstable." Unstable how, you ask?

I have depression.

No, that is quite literally it. Full context under the readmore.

Fighting to be heard and having the door repeatedly slammed in your face sucks peak ass, and I'm done now. The NHS is so lackluster when it comes to trans people, all of a sudden, it makes perfect sense to me why 31% of transgender Danes get HRT outside of the NHS.

And I'd rather not have to turn to the black market, so rn I'm hoping to get a prescription with GenderGP. The issue is, I'm poor as fuck and can't afford the start-up fees for the forseeable future - unless I do something like this. I hate asking others for money, and I hate it even more if I'm not in a place where I can give anything in return. But I also recognize I'm in over my head with this, so. If you've got a cent or two to spare, I'd be grateful as hell.

I've mathed it out, and my best estimate is that I need around 3500,- DKK / $500 USD. Again, this is just to cover the initial subscription as well as mandatory consultations/blood tests. I should be able to cover the prescriptions on my own, as well as further tests/consultations down the line, so I'm hoping this is a one-and-done sort of thing.

paypal: elimunpau@gmail.com

Also, important note. We're in a global cost of living/housing crisis and this isn't a strict life-or-death situation. If you're in a tough spot right now, don't send me anything, that'd just make me feel worse about asking. I appreciate the thought but you gotta take care of your own needs first. Peace and take care ✌️

So I've been dealing with major depressive disorder since I was 11. It runs in my family, and as you might imagine, after 15 years of living with this thing, I've learned how to manage it pretty well by now. I know what it's like to genuinely be unstable - and if I were in a place like that, no problem, I'd be open about that. I wouldn't be making decisions like this. I know myself. You kind of have to when you're dealing with a chronic mental illness.

Here's where I am right now: I've got no suicidal ideation, been clean from self harm for four years, no psychosis, no inpatient admissions for the last five years. I live on my own, take my meds, and I'm keeping my life in order. Depressed, yes, but about as stable as someone with my history can get, and ask anyone who knows me, me wanting to get on HRT isn't some spur of the moment decision. I've done a fucking decade of soul searching, and a few years ago, I finally (duh) reached the conclusion that living as a woman isn't something I can even fake being content with - believe me, I've tried. I'm well aware of the scope of medical transition, but I'm settled in who I am. And I just want to live like me now. That's the only thing I want.

If it counts for anything, my partner and family have supported me through this, which has been priceless obviously, but it also goes to show that me saying "I'm capable of making medical decisions" isn't purely a personal assessment. I'm pretty sure they'd speak up if they thought I was being unstable about it or whatever

But the CPH clinic for sexology, who have consistently refused to listen to me telling them all this, have somehow magically aquired divine knowledge on my capacity to make adult decisions about my own body, and on the basis that I have MDD, they're refusing to even set me up for a preliminary interview - one that would preceed a 6 month full-team psych evaluation before the prospect of HRT would even come up. They said in their latest refusal that they wont accept another referral from me until a year after my last in-clinic conversation with them, which happened on October 24th, 2023 - meaning that with the NHS, if they accepted my referral come October (which I don't have much faith they will), the earliest I could possibly get on HRT is April 2025. Arguing for my own sanity would've sucked enough as is, but it's made harder by the fact that they won't even talk to me. You're a trans guy who would like healthcare, but you have a mental illness? Good luck, you're on your own. Long live the Danish bureaucracy.

Dysphoria makes me fucking miserable. I'd rather not have to write a sob story here, and tumblr is like 80% trans people so I guess a good portion of you can imagine why waiting another year for the possibility of maybe-perhaps-if-all-goes-well getting on HRT would not actually make me less miserable about it.

So. I'm sitting down next week along with my mom to file a formal complaint with the patient's rights committee. I don't know what to call this other than some form of discrimination on the basis of mental illness, because nothing in my current situation would prohibit me from making medical decisions for myself. And I honestly don't think that a complaint is going to do much, but I intend to make it obnoxiously long, because by law, a specialized doctor and an attorney have to read through the whole thing. If you can't beat 'em, make 'em read 50 pages of you going into detail about why you think they suck, right

And yeah, like I said, in the meantime, I'm trying to go via GenderGP. It'd be nice if my poor ass could get HRT via the NHS instead of having to pay out of pocket, but apparently the bar for entry requires that you 1) have gender dysphoria to the point where it impedes normal function and 2) somehow aren't mentally ill. Who wrote these rules? Some 60yo cis guy in a suit in Christiansborg, I imagine.

Feel free ask about anything relating to this whole situation, I'll be as open as I can about it, cause I understand that if you're going to give money to someone, you want to know what it's going to. Though I hope you understand I'm not going to doxx myself more than I already have now, or give you my entire medical history - only what's relevant to my current situation.

I know Denmark is a welfare state and on a global scale we're doing alright, but I hope you don't mind if I say this: This shouldn't be happening as often as it does. Fuck the Danish NHS.

[bibibudin666]

hi!! could i please request prompt # 11 with joel miller? thank youuuu :)

Joel Miller x afab!f!reader

Warnings: spit, degradation, cursing, p in v, unprotected, rough. Joel refers to reader with f!pronouns. Calls her “good girl” etc.

Absolutely!! This is my first prompt I've written, I'm so excited eee~

Thank you for requesting, I hope this satisfies your needs! And for the others who have requested I appreciate your patience. Don't worry I'm working on them just please continue to be patient with me.

Thank you to all of those that have requested and if you would like to request check out my prompt list HERE

As always this is 18+ so minors please DO NOT INTERACT!!

This can be read for the video game or show Joel Miller

I love daddy Joel, enjoy~

“Just can’t keep that damn mouth shut now can you?” Joel grunts.

You mewl at his words, his pace was unrelenting. He had you pinned to the nearest wall, a wall you were surprised was still standing. The cracks and holes from the years of abandonment still held together. And the way Joel was fucking you right now couldn’t help it from not falling apart anymore than it already was. 

He was brutal, you had been teasing him all day and he was sick of it. You two were on a regular patrol today, nothing too serious, just regular rounds and fighting off the few infected in the area. But you couldn’t help yourself.

Joel had just looked too good today and maybe you had an extremely vivid dream of him fucking you dumb earlier this morning. So you decided to do what you do best, tease the older man. And oh how it worked so well.

Now Joel has had his fair share of dealing with your neediness, so when you were more clingy than usual he just wrote it off as another day. Tending to it slightly with more lingering touches when he would help you climb up some broken debris or the way he would grab your face to kiss you after you two had close encounters with infected. 

As nice as it was to feel his touch more often, especially the sweet kisses you two shared, you couldn’t lie when you’d tell yourself that you wanted so much more. See Joel may be a grumpy old man yet he knew how to love. But, he knew how to fuck even better. And you were going to do everything in your power to get him to fuck you today, either on patrol or off. 

This is why you’re in the certain predicament you’re in now. His strong arms hold your frame tight as his hips snap into yours. His face buried in the crook of your neck, groaning at the feeling of you wrapped so warmly around his cock. 

You couldn’t stop your moans, the way he kept hitting that one sweet spot had you going wild. You two were alone in an abandoned apartment building, clearing out the infected that you had come across. But Joel knew the ins and outs of the post-apocalyptic world, infected were scattered all over, especially clickers. So the volume in which your moans were at needed to be quieted down immediately. 

Not to say Joel didn’t love the way you called out his name, dumb on his cock as he fucked you raw. But at this specific moment he needed you to do one thing, in which you were doing the complete opposite.

“What did I say about keeping your mouth shut Darling? We’re still outside the base.” He gave you a particularly harsh thrust which caused an even higher pitched moan to leave your lips. 

His hand came up to grab at your jaw, craning your head so you can meet his eyes. He looked bothered, you couldn’t help yourself. How could you help yourself? He was fucking you so good.��

“How ‘bout I make you shut that damn mouth?” 

You whimpered at his words, “S-so sorry Sir-!” 

He squished your cheeks, your lips pursuing as he cut off your words. A smirk adorned his features as he thought about what he was about to do. 

“Open your mouth.” You obey his command, letting your tongue roll out of your mouth as you look up at him with doe eyes. He spits on your tongue, closing your mouth before it dribbles down, “Don’t you dare fuckin’ swallow it, keep that shit in your mouth.” 

The pads of his fingers came in contact with your clit and your eyes rolled to the back of your head. You could feel the familiar build up of your orgasm approaching. You wanted to say something but you didn’t want to disobey his command. Plus Joel knew you were close, he knew every inch and every tick your body had when it came to pleasing you. 

“Such a fuckin’ loud slut, m’glad I could shut that damn mouth.” He grunted. 

He was soon approaching his end, your walls squeezing around him so deliciously. As much as he berated you for being so loud, he was struggling to be quiet himself. His harsh pants against your cheek, your muffled moans with his spit in your mouth. The way his cock would hit your sweet spot and the pads of his rough calloused fingers circling your clit, it was all becoming too much. Before you knew it you were unraveling against him, convulsing at the pleasure and he wasn’t far behind. He spilled his seed into you and fucked it up your hole for a few more thrusts. 

When he was done he didn’t pull out, instead he held your chin. He looks into your eyes and you open up your mouth showing him his spit that was set on your tongue. Along with yours they were mixed together in the filthiest of ways. He grins wildly at you, giving you a slight nod. You swallow it all down and show him your tongue again. 

“Such a good girl.” He mumbles as he presses his lips into yours for a searing kiss. 

He slowly pulls himself out and you whine at the loss of his warmth, already missing him inside you. You were breathless and finally satisfied. The one thing you’ve been fantasizing about all day has finally been given to you. 

“I might have to start annoying you on patrol more often.” You lightly joke, still leaning against the cracked wall for support. 

“Darling if you do that again, spit won’t be the only thing I make you hold in your mouth.” His eyes darken as he spoke. 

As much of a nuisance you were, he wouldn’t mind upping the punishment a bit more the next time you acted up. 

~

[boy---interruptedd]

Alfred's Playhouse Commentary.

Alfred's playhouse is a vent show I recently discovered made by Emily Youcis. I will be addressing the actual content of the show before I move on to my opinion on Emily herself so please hold fire until the end because I KNOW what you're thinking.

TRIGGER WARNING - CSA, SH, CHILD ABUSE, NAZISM, GRAPHIC IMAGERY.

(Not all these themes are discussed in my post but you should be aware of these before watching the show)

Alfred's Playhouse features main character Alfred, who is a dog described in the introduction song as desperately attempting to escape his painful reality. I agree that it is genuinely disturbing, but I'd like to address its vague poignancy and how it deals with its themes.

In the first episode, we see what I think (as a survivor myself) to be the most accurate representation of how it feels to be sexually assaulted I've ever seen. The moment where everything is odd and numb and quiet followed by pure panic and rage.

The first episode also displays mental instability incredibly well. I've struggled with my mental health for the past six years and honestly the scenes where Alfred just rambles about essentially nothing at all, addressing an imagined audience, accurately represents what feels like the descent into madness many mentally ill people are convinced they go through. The thought that you've lost your mind is an extremely painful one and Alfred's Playhouse depicts that with surprising levels of accuracy.

Episode two, however, is essentially just this massive showcase of Alfred brutally harming himself. Though it portrays the very common desperate desire for attention many people experience when they struggle with self harm, myself included, I feel the level of gore is a little gratuitous, displaying Alfred almost bleeding to death from the wounds he's inflicted upon himself. That being said, it is a vent show so I see why Youcis made the decision. She never really made it for other people it was a way to make herself feel better. Then again, it was her decision to post it publicly.

Episode three essentially explains the whole show from a weirder perspective and honestly I don't want to go into it since I have so much to say and it's quarter past 11 at night and I have college tomorrow, but it is a good episode with the context of the show.

Overall, though it is important for assault victims and mentally ill people to have content in which they feel seen, I feel Youcis should have toned her work down a little before posting it. However, the Internet was a wild west in 2007.

Now onto Youcis herself, I feel it is incredibly unjustified to attribute her current political views to the show. She fell down the alt-right pipeline after publishing Alfred's Playhouse. This is almost definitely because of her downward spiral. It's not uncommon for groups like the alt-right to target vulnerable people like Emily. She has so clearly been crying for help for years and, though there's no excuse for her words or actions, I feel you should take her art for what it is rather than apply a made up meaning to it. The depictions of Nazis in the show - I think - are more a commentary on her childhood trauma and the themes of the show, Alfred feeling his life is dictated by someone/something else. While there's definitely better content in the genre and in general, the massive controversy surrounding Alfred's Playhouse is - in my opinion - unwarranted and really just watch it with an open mind and separate it from current Emily because she wasn't like she is now when she made it. Instead of hating on the present, understand the past and don't be overly shocked when mentally ill people do fucked up shit, especially when they've received the kind of backlash Emily Youcis faced.

Final disclaimer- I don't support her actions I hope she burns I just want people to understand things how they actually happened yk?

[barleyo]

Genuine question (if it's not too personal for you to answer) what got you so into incest? I found you through tt but it's been a min since I've been on there so idk if you've ever told your story. For me personally I've dealt w sexual abuse/assault from my brother & I think that's why ur writing doesn't bother me as much as it would if that hadn't of happened to me. But I'm also sure there's plenty of people interested in this content with out it being trauma related so I was just curious about your "inspiration" I suppose.

cw: incest, rant, kinda long ramble under the cut

Honestly, I don't mind answering because I am a HUUUUGE oversharer, I'm actually glad you asked because maybe if I answer, people will get off my dick about it :3 I am also a victim of incest! For three years I was sexually abused and repeatedly raped by my older cousin (him being 13 to 16 and me being 8 to 11). COCSA, or child on child sexual assault, is a tricky thing to deal with for me, and personally, it left me with more guilt and confusing feelings as opposed to the sexual abuse and grooming I've faced from adults. Especially because it happened via someone I was related to. I think a reason why it manifested into this dark interest is because I only recently told my mother what happened, which gave my mind time to twist it around and make it something sexual. I enjoy writing about it because, for me, placing it in a fictional context makes me feel like I have more control over the situation, and helps me ease the constant itch in my brain that is just dying to replay the scene of me being sexually violated over and over again. I can, in a weird way, replace what happened with my cousin with silly little sexy stories with fictional characters; it gives me peace of mind to turn something bad into something "good," i.e, a story. It gives me a creative way to siphon all of the trauma leaking out of my brain and make it something partially useful to other people.

I actually don't mind when people who haven't been victims of incest or other awful things enjoy dark content that uses those themes! I think it's human nature to enjoy the taboo, and even have a bit of an obsession with it. Our brains, in the modern day, are so obsessed with being politically/socially/emotionally correct that we stop ourselves from enjoying the dirtiest, most perverted things that we know we truly want to indulge in, even when we're alone! People can enjoy what they want. The beautiful part of being online is anonymity. If you want to read about parents fucking nasty with their (adult) kids, you can totally do that with no real-life consequences because it is online, not-real, fictional, made-up, make-believe, and pretend (all in that order.) If you want to call anyone who indulges in these communities and reads this shit awful people, guess what? You totally can! Because this is the internet and everyone gets to have an opinion, spread their agenda, and say what they want, within reason of course.

I hate to use this excuse, because truly, I understand that words hurt, but what I'm writing and what people are reading is all fiction! I certainly don't, and I hope most people who enjoy the incest/cnc/ddlg communities don't actually want to fuck their relatives, be raped, or be in pedophilic relationships.

Saying all of that, I'm going to continue to write nasty, depraved, incestous, rape-centered smut, because at the end of the day, that's what I want to do on my blog, and it's what makes me happy.

Thank you for asking. I'll be happy to answer any other questions that anybody has, even if they're hateful <3

[adoredmarigold]

Questions!! Yay!!!!!! I've got a lot to ask about, I'm sorry

1. What are your favorite ships other than david and lingard (tbh in some way that ship reminds me of kirk x bones, not sure if youre into star trek tho xd)

2. Ava or Tripp?

3. Favorite S2 characters? Do you have any S2 ships?

4. What do you think are the best possible and your favorite endings of S2, S3 and S4??

5. And of course, I wanted to ask, whats your opinion on Bonnie.

I feel like I've been asking you some questions before but I dont remember excstly what it waasszzzzzzddsdszs if I already asked some of these questions IM SO SORRY but I cant say no to asking twdg questions

hello :) 1. VIOLENTINE!!!! It's such a lovely ship I will defend it with my life, istg Violentine haters have yet to bring up a valid point as to why they don't like it. I have some crack ships like Eleanor x Kate or Eleanor x Ava, I don't have much to say about them I'm just gay and wanna ship my girls together lmao. hmmm, I've been seeing some Mark x Lee stuff to and that looks pretty cute. Ermmm this is making me realize I actually don't ship much in twdg lmao, I guess I also ship Clouis and Gabentine Clouis is sweet and has good moments but I just don't find them as compelling as Violentine (sorry Clouis shippers). As for Gabentine I guess I would say I ship it, but more so in a "first crush/puppy love" kinda of way, The relationship never becomes anything serious they're just kids with a crush on each other and honestly I don't need them to become anything more than that. aaaannnd I know nothing about Star Trek but you're gonna make me look into Kirk x Bones now, thanks. 2. Well if we're just talking about the characters in general then Ava, she's so underrated imo. BUT, if we're talking about whether I choose to "save" Tripp or Ava during the execution, I always choose to let Tripp live. I'd rather have Ava die here than get that stupid fucking death she gets in ep 5, Tripps death in ep 5 is a lot better cinematically and writing-wise. 3. Sarah :) She's been my fav season 2 character since the season first came out and I will never forgive the writers/fandom at the time for how they treated her, SHE DID NOTHING WRONG. As for ships I guess I don't really have any for season 2, I mean Alvin x Rebecca I suppose though I'm not particularly invested in either character. Never been a Nick x Luke fan, I get the appeal but it ain't for me. 4. I can't really say which ending for each season is the best cause it's all pretty subjective, but I will give you my favs :) I guess I don't really have a fav ending for season 2? I choose the alone ending each time just cause I can't deal with Jane and Kenny's bs, don't hate either character but Clem doesn't deserve to put up with their bullshit anymore, she's the main character it's fine let's just ignore the logistics of an 11-year-old going off alone with a newborn. I also like the Wellington ending alot though! Not only because it's the best location for Clem and AJ to end up at but it also gives a satisfying conclusion to Kenny's character imo. Kenny spent all of season 2 trying to keep Clem and in the end AJ by his side for ultimately selfish reasons and he became extremely violent and unhinged in the process. So to see Kenny finally be selfless and be willing to give them both up to ensure their health and safety really redeems him for me. Kenny loves Clem and AJ but I really don't think he's fit to take care of them, this is the best possible Kenny ending for me. 5. Bonnies cool. It's been awhile since I've played season 2 and 400 days so I am in a desperate refresh of her character, but from what I remember she was interesting. I def think the fandom goes WAY too hard on hating her, from what I remember she's not really any worse or better than any of the other adults in season 2, she's extremely flawed but hell who isn't in The Walking Dead. I get being frustrated with her but the lengths people go to shit all over her character is kinda insane to me. So overall I guess I don't have much of a strong opinion on Bonnie, she's an interesting character with alot of flaws but I don't think she's evil or cruel. I hope her and Mike where able to get away and join a community or something. Also, I distinctly remember her being my fav 400 Days character and having a crush on her when I was a kid lmao. wowie okay that's all I gotta say, and don't worry you're all good! If you (or anybody really) send me a question and I don't reply it's probably just cause I forgot to or I'm stumped on what to say. CRIES

[wavy-gorl]

did not realize there was a community for this, but this is the internet i should've known

hi i was born with a cleft soft and hard palate, i didn't have a cleft lip or anything else (still tagging this because i wanna reach anyone who understands), my mom told me that i also have the thing where you have a really small chin combined with a cleft palate but i don't remember the name of the condition

i've like literally never been able to talk to anyone else who's had one and i mean my friends all know about it and i love them, but like they don't fully understand bc they haven't experienced it, you know how it is

but uh yeah i've always felt really weird labeling myself as like disabled or anything like that because i've always felt like my cleft palate wasn't enough but honestly my entire life has kinda revolved around it so i feel like i should

here's the part where i'm going to dump in a list all of my super specific experiences in hopes that someone will relate because i am so serious when i say that i've never talked to someone who relates before:

tw: idk medical stuff, ed mentioned (arfid specifically), mildly graphic i guess (just complaining about medical stuff i've had to deal with)

i've had 11 surgeries (feeding tube, adenoids removed, palate repairs, and ear tubes)

i have this sick as fuck second belly button and honestly sometimes i forget that most people only have one and i have to do a double take when i see other people's boring abdomens

i have a list of foods that i cannot eat because they taste like general anesthesia (including but not limited to: whoppers, onion rings, cranberry juice, blue candy hearts, and wintergreen life savers)

i was diagnosed with arfid recently, but i've had it my entire life because i had a feeding tube for the first year of my life and so i just cannot handle most food textures

i have really bad social skills and low self-esteem because i got bullied when i was younger because people couldn't understand me because my voice was really weird, this got better with surgeries but it didn't fix my lack of social skills

I HATED SPEECH THERAPY, like 14 years of it did not make s sounds easier to pronounce

i need hearing aids but i can't get them because i have holes in my ears and extreme drainage, but the holes are good because they allow my ears to drain but the fact that there's drainage is still bad and ahhhhhh

i'm 19 but i still have to go back and forth between the children's hospital and the regular one when it comes to palate stuff and it's honestly annoying sometimes (everyone's nice though so it's fine)

eating is awful because nose stuff i don't want to go into detail but iykyk (don't make me laugh while eating)

i don't have a uvula and when people find out, it's suddenly the most interesting fact they know about me and i don't get it

not even i know my full medical history it is so incredibly complex

i have a collection of my wristbands

the worst fucking thing in the world was the stupid nasal endoscopy, like early covid brain-poking tests were fucking nothing compared to that stupid camera going up my nose

mouth breathing

i have random vocal/breathing tics (i guess tic is the right term?) and they are annoying but yeah

every goddamn time i went to the orthodontist, he would always say every FUCKING TIME "don't let your mom tell you that you have a big mouth because i'm here to tell you otherwise" LIKE I GET IT

when i got my teeth pulled, the laughing gas didn't work because 1.) that shit's so weak and 2.) i had to breathe it in through my nose exclusively (mouth breathing point), but they didn't believe me and went along with the procedure anyway and after experiencing that, hell has nothing on me

my role model growing up was lentil bean, the cleft palate dog

the only piece of media i ever related to was Wonder, but even that one contributed to me feeling like i hadn't gone through enough to consider my cleft palate a big deal

i am a musician (singer and percussionist) but i can't breathe, hear, or speak properly and so i bet you can imagine how hellish that is

i had to quit dance when i was younger because i kept missing entire seasons because of my surgeries (since recovery was like 4 weeks sometimes) and i really wish that i didn't have to

ok yeah that's all i can think of please someone relate to me god please

[thedragonagelesbian]

10.Which location are you most excited/hoping to explore in-game?

11.What's one thing you'd really like to see in this next game?

12.What's one thing you're hoping we DON'T see in this next game?

13.What's one thing you've seen confirmed so far that you're a fan of?

16.What's one crack theory you subscribe to (yours or someone else's)?

19.Are you planning to replay any of the previous games, watch Dragon Age: Absolution, or read any of the books/comics/short stories, or are there other games you want to play in the meantime?

<333333333333

Dragon Age Veilguard Hype Questions

10.Which location are you most excited/hoping to explore in-game?

I'm excited for everywhere (with a major dose of 'I hope BioWare doesn't fuck them up'), but especially Tevinter. I have a deep worldbuilding soft spot for magocracies and arcano-tech, and I wasn't sure how much they'd lean into it, but the glimpse we saw in the gameplay reveal got me hyped!!

(I also want to see our home base, the Lighthouse!! Fingers crossed for some Skyhold-esque customization options but without the. Um. Blandness.)

11.What's one thing you'd really like to see in this next game?

DA2 and DAI both gave us elf companions who hated each other, and I really really really hope Davrin & Bellara break the trend. And especially since they're both Dalish, I want to see them talking about their Clans & their similarities & differences in terms of culture & customs, & even perhaps their different (and hopefully respectfully handled) perspectives on dealing with the corrupted Evanuris.

12.What's one thing you're hoping we DON'T see in this next game?

"""""""""""""""""Grey morality"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

13.What's one thing you've seen confirmed so far that you're a fan of?

Does the CC count? Specifically that body =/= gender =/= pronouns, I'm so excited to be able to make my he/him butch lesbian Rook, and it feels like a much better direction to be going in than BG3's 'four body presets we're going to pretend aren't gendered but they still conform to thin cis ideals & also clothes that look wildly different depending on body type' shit

16.What's one crack theory you subscribe to (yours or someone else's)?

Lucanis has some sort of spirit bullshit going on I'm so sure of it

19. Are you planning to replay any of the previous games, watch Dragon Age: Absolution, or read any of the books/comics/short stories, or are there other games you want to play in the meantime?

Last year, I replayed Origins twice, DA2 once, and got ~halfway through Inquisition, so I'm feeling pretty up-to-date on the games themselves, though I may try to finish an Inquisition run... maybe............ In the meantime, I have another run of Pathfinder WOTR I've been dwelling on (CN trickster halfling cavalier of the paw, with her mount flavored as reynard the fox/other canine trickster folk lore figures), and I'd like to do a run with one of the evil mythic paths too (I /love/ the vibes of the swarm that walks but idk if I can commit to the consequences it comes with....), AND eventually I will finish durge!Cyrus' BG3 run (sadly the braid clipping issue has not yet been fixed).

I also want to rewatch Absolution & read Tevinter Nights & the Missing comics to ~set the stage~

[not-so-mundane-after-all]

*crawls out of a swamp, hands you a paper that says "11, 16, 66, and 77 but you choose the fic" then gets dragged back in by vines*

*slaps herself on the forehead with the paper* the only ask I got out of this and I fucking forgot about it

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

But like my fics or the fics I'm reading? I'll go with the second option and rec some good stuff bc it's too hard to pick from my own stuff

First, two Prospect works from my prospie besties, both AUs, both brilliant!

At Your Service by @skoulsons - modern AU where 15 year old Cee starts working at a restaurant and their best employee, Ezra, takes her under his wing (and not only during work hours). Lots of angst and lots of love - and you get to see how restaurants work! How cool is that!

without you, without them by @channelrat - this AU is more in-world and poses a question: what if Ezra knew Cee's mom? What if they were best friends? It's so exciting to follow Cee as she uncovers her family's history and learns more about her mom

The third one is a Hunger Games fic that I've been following for quite some time and I can't wait for another chapter

Long Way Out by lollercakes - a story following the ups and downs (and mental breakdowns) of the relationship between Katniss and Haymitch. It's heavy, it's brutal at times, deals with depression, PTSD, alcoholism, suicidal thoughts and rage (to name a few) but ultimately it's a story about how two broken people can keep each other from falling apart because they are both too damn stubborn to let each other go.

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

Realistically? Two. There's more saved in my docs but I'm not being pulled to start them or finish what is started already. One I can share, the one I'll probably be working on next, is a little extra scene for The Bad Batch series finale, where everyone gets a moment to breathe and take care of each other as they fly away from their final battle.

66. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie. pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc.)?

Pressure to update? Deadlines? It's easy to deal with when you're convinced no one is reading your shit lol but seriously, I try to take it easy now. I used to work like a machine (still do sometimes), but not because I knew someone was waiting, but because there were so many ideas in my head that I just wanted to be done with the current one so I can start the next. I didn't want to lose any of them. These days I try to tell myself "there is no deadline". Fics don't have deadlines. You release them when you feel like they're ready, you work on them when you have time and energy to do so.

And as readers, we should know and respect that. I'm also a reader who's waiting for updates on her beloved fics - written both by strangers and by friends. But no matter how much I want to read what happens next, I won't pressure them to update. When they're ready and the story is ready, then I'll get to read it.

As for negative comments? I rarely get them, the ones I did were from fandom trolls that were pressed about stupid bullshit, or it was straight up AI generated comment. What I do? Read, delete, never think of it again.

77. Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [Fanfic Name] story/chapter?

These two bits from The Art of Letting Go

Because it's so angsty!!! We see Hunter and Omega argue in the show but never to this extent! It never turns into a fight! I cried writing those. But it felt so good!

Thank you for the ask! Sorry you had to wait so long.

[alolanrain]

i've had a lot of people ask me in the comments of ao3 on how the After Hours section of the Ta!au is so different for the actual TA aspect. So I'm just gonna do a little run done on the whole premise.

so the Teacher Assistant job that Ash has is actually is second job, his main one is working of the International League as some sort of mercenary for them. kinda dark, I know. originally the INL, the legendries' in human form, offered the position to Ash as a way to keep him a little more protected during world ending events so he doesn't die as often. having the legal right to carry weapons on hand during public like a variety of knives and even a small gun every know and then. it also forces Ash into a mandated therapy sessions, which he's actually avoided so far regardless since he's joined, and giving him a net of safety if things go to shit.

Ash turns this down as he's just a fresh 16 year old and half way through his journey in Unova. after dealing with N and Ghetsis Ash heavily reconsiders as he ends up killing Ghetsis with his own two hands after snapping for the first time due to the stress of the entire thing. he's actually really fucked up in this Au so you've been warned, I just haven't actually written the more gruesome moments yet.

his sanity slips quite a bit during his break as with Ghetsis dead Team Rocket tries to step in during the moment of chaos. like trying to completely gain control over Unova in one go. this shakes up Ash's already very fragile mind and he goes completely feral and a killing spree. in the end he wipes out about over 150 Team Rocket members in his rage across Unova somehow in the span of 8 days. this is also the first instance of Ash's aura returning to him since Hoenn and without the need of gloves, like the rage in him had unlocked the blocker that trapped his natural ability.

it's almost like Ash turns into an enraged wild Pokémon and it's not until he stumbles across the Unova INL council members, either just one of them or a few, and they see what has happened. Ash willingly goes with them after they help him calm down and he's struck with the realization that he's never been so calm in his life.

he doesn't have the urge to fill the silence, his leg doesn't jitter with unused energy and Ash's mind is completely blank for the first time in history. there's no train of thought running in the background or anything else like that. just total silence. during this time that he's being treated at the main INL HQ in Unova Giovanni pulls out every team rocket member out of the region. loosing years of ground they've struggled to gain over the region just because Ash lost his shit.

Ash is walking the fine line between a god and a human at this moment for the first time and he struggles with this so once he's freed from the INL, they've over looked the killing spree since Ash and his friends saved Unova and their collective 14 to 18 years old, Ash heads to the Orange Isles and goes to consult Lugia about it. as what he felt during the entire time was the same feelings he experienced during the battle against the Shamouti battle without the fear that had gripped him at the age of 11. Lugia talks him through it and then informs Ash that since he's not just Lugia's chosen but Arceus's as well Ash will succumb into primal urges when pushed far enough. the Legendary makes it known that Ash can not hide or run from it and that it's easier in the end to let it flow through you.

he brings up the INL offer and Lugia, who is apart of the INL in his human form, tells him to take it. it's quite manipulative on the legendry's end since he knows deep down Ash will lose a lot of his humanity if he does but the entire world needs the buffer that Ash can offer between them and the other humans. not only does Ash understand them to an unspeakable point but he's also able to go toe to toe even at the age he was in Unova and when he was younger as well. Ash does join and he's quickly followed by Gary for the older boys own reasons that they chose not to speak about and they become a pair during Ash's first break in traveling.

Lugia was right, Ash looses a lot of his humanity and kindness for humans after seeing just what they could and will do to the Pokémon that inhabited this planet first but he also learns to navigate around it and act like a normal human in society. sleep never comes easy anymore, it's why he naps a lot now in Alola and drinks a shit ton of coffee, and he's seen some shit that no one should ever bare witness too.

Delia and Professor Oak see's a little sliver of it, like Ash flinching away when large Pokémon suddenly appear around him and how he's lost his patience for literally every in pallet town when he's home. they have good intentions but go about it wrong by trying to force Ash's hand in giving up in being a trainer. thinking that spending a long time in his home town will help-shocker it doesn't. so Ash ask's Gary and Rowan if he could crash with them at the professors house/lab. Rowan excepts and very quickly learns not just why Ash hates pallet town and the people there but the whole shebang.

**haven't quite figured out this part yet. deciding if I should have him walk in on Ash and Gary prepping to leave for a mission in another region under the guise of Ash making Gary take a break from sciencing it up or have Rowan be kind of a consultant for lesser INL members and the G-men since he's still ridiculously good with battle plans, infiltrations and other shit that hasn't left him since being discharged from the Marine Corps and he's asked be a handler of some sort for Ash and Gary. i'm leaning towards the second option but the first one is more funny thought-Rowan blinking in shock as Ash and Gary have Ash's weapons and gear sprawled out on one of their beds and talking in hush whispers without noticing Rowan is there.

either way, Ash moves his permanent address to Rowan's house and stay's there 90% of the time he's not on missions or during his travel through Kalos. it doesn't help that Rowan starts to slowly teach Ash how to be more deadly, kind of acting more like a Master Gunnery Sergeant which is why Ash refers to him as Gunny during the present time. coming to be like the father figure Ash never had for the majority of his life and actively agreeing that Oak is an ass.

this all ends up with Ash being able to shut off his emotions and become a stone cold killing machine like he's flipping a damn switch off and on in his head. he's extremely proficient in what he does that Gary and Ash are basically handed free reigns over INL missions, getting to pick which ones they wanted to do and pass down the ones that they don't. the council members of the INL are naturally inclined in treating Ash like a distant family member, due to the fact that he is Lugia and Tapu Koko's son in a fucked up way-which thanks Arceus. Gary and Ash are a package deal so the Oak is treated like one to.

** I find it funny that I subconsciously switched it around for the INL and Rowan. like Rowan got Gary and found out Ash is a part of him and how the INL have Ash and Gary followed after him. I'm literally just realizing this now as I type it out.

Alola is the reprieve Ash didn't know he needed. he literally just went because Oak needed someone to bring the egg to his cousin at the Pokémon School and Delia absolutely loathes traveling by herself now. he's awkward around the kids after nearly getting trampled by the racing Tauros and continues to be. the only reason why he accepted the TA position in the first place was because Delia tried turning it down for him while he was in the same room.

it was an very petty move on Ash's part but he's had almost complete control over his life after leaving for Hoenn and he's not giving it up, even for his own mother. he does make it very clear to both Kukui and Oak that, unless the kids physically come up and ask for help, he will not be interacting with the students. he is a Teachers Assistant and not a Student-Teacher Assistant. both agree to create a new contract that everyone likes later on the next day.

of course the kids wiggle their way into his life and, unbeknownst to them, their almost slowly reviving Ash's lost humanity bit by itty-bit.

[forabeatofadrum]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you @wellbelesbian for the tag! Here goes:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

... 162. what the FUCK.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,323,028. WHAT THE FUCK

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Well, almost half of those 162 fics are Glee fics. My other two bigger fandoms are Check, Please! and the Simon Snow Series.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Everything will be alright, the only Brooklyn Nine-Nine fic I have ever written.

All shall know the wonder, probably my favourite Check, Please! fic that I've written, so hooray!

The last to know, which was a reaction fic for the end of year 3 of Check, Please!

How lucky we are to be alive right now, which is my first ever Carry On fic and I don't even like it that much anymore, but I guess it's the origin story yada, yada.

The 2020 Young America New Year’s Eve Gala, my sole Red, White & Royal Blue fic. I wrote it in 2020, but thanks to the movie, it got a lot more views and kudos.

I am actually surprised (but also not, I think I have seen this before) that there is no Glee fic in this list. My Glee/Klaine fic with most kudos is the 15th on the list!!! (It's Myosotis sylvatica, by the way.) (My goddamn Love, Victor fic is higher on the list WACK!!)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

No. I do read all of them, but I always feel super awkward responding. Idk. It's a me problem, I guess. So I only respond when I have something specific to say or if a comment totally blows me away and I want to at least acknowledge that. Although... I am behind on that as well.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm. Does Your heart is in your chest again, not hanging from your sleeve count? It's a Next to Normal AU Klaine story, and if you know the musical, you know.

There's also My rose-coloured boy, a pre-Wayward Son Snowbaz fic that shows that Simon is not dealing with shit and it has an unhappy ending, I suppose, but it also fits in canon so does it count, because in canon, the entire Snowbaz story does have a happy end.

OH WAIT A HOT MINUTE THERE IS ALSO MY WIP Dalton 8 Days of Wrath. That fic is supposed to be Sad Shit Only!!!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I love writing happy endings, so I am not sure which one is the happiest.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope, luckily.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope. I uhhhh have a whole ass essay on why I don't.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Yes, I am one of those "how can I Klaine-ify" bitches. The craziest is probably my Glee/Animal Crossing fic Wandering. I don't like it THAT much, but it was fun. I also had a very extensive, not-published Glee/Barbie Mariposa and the Fairy Princess crossover (yeah) once.

And I've been talking for ages about how I will one day write a Glee/Winx Club crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I unfortunately assume that it's happened, since ya know, AO3 scrapers.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I know someone wanted to translate Charms & Pearls into Italian, but I don't know it's happened. @klaineship2 also translated one of my Hearing verse fics into German: Musik nur, wenn sie laut ist. I once read this translation out loud and sent it to my German friend @vreniii and I may have hurt her ears.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Call Me Maybe, my aroace Agatha fic with @captain-aralias and Stage Fright, a Halloween Klaine fic with @spookyklaine, @esperantoauthor, @justgleekout, @snarkyhag, sopheadraws, MissFlurry and keyiqiang.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

(Yes, Alex, I still say OTP.)

Klaine. Look, I will be a Klainer 12 till the day I die. You will catch me crying over Teenage Dream (gcv) at the nursing home.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have... so many WIPs. So. Many. WIPs. I don't want to give up on them yet.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I can write dialogue and that I can be pretty funny.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Alex, I so feel you on the second hand embarrasment thing with sappy stuff. I also bitch a lot about not being able to write romantic endings. I also have struggles with describing movement.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I mean. I have done it before, most noteably Paradiso, aap noot mies and Ik was meteen ondersteboven., so I am down for it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Published? Glee.

When I was a wee child writing stories about other media, Winx Club and Harry Potter, although I never published those.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

OH. Oof. In no order, split by my 3 main fandoms (because I cannot narrow it down!):

For Klaine: Myosotis series (especially part 1 and 5), Mendacious, I’d cry a river just for you, All the pretty things that we could be and Ljubim te.

For Snowbaz: Paradiso series (especially part 1 and 3, rip part 2), Time After Time and make a fire out of this flame.

For Zimbits: All shall know the wonder and Center Ice.

Forgive me for not tagging anyone. I am taking the lazy "everyone is free to do it!" approach because I am tired!!!

[the-invisible-queer]

How does a grown man beef with a child? Was it his daughter in the kitchen with your brother? Because if so that admittedly is a poor tactical choice.

And yes please give us all the decade old tea I bet it’s still good. Don’t even bother with pseudonyms if you don’t feel like it

OH BESTIE

Buckle the fuck UP and I'll drop initials so I don't get sued because the youth pastor is currently in a legal suit against his own father rn THE TEA IS PIPING

Our Characters:

Eddie - My older brother

R - Senior pastor

M - Youth pastor

M&M - M and his wife because they both suck and are one entity in one story

G - R's current wife

E- R's ex wife BUT NOT M'S MOM

JK - E & R's son

I've got 3 stories so it's long as fuck. There's aren't the only scandals just the main ones that have to deal with M's bitch ass. I can't wait to hear that he died. I'm gonna piss on his grave.

SO Eddie got the title of "junior youth leader" when he was like 15/16 because he WAS the youth group. People only showed up to hang out with him. He knew everyone. He knew everything that was going on. He was the one keeping the peace because we were ROWDY fucking kids.

FOR THE RECORD Eddie's kitchen fingering was not with M's daughter. It was with his first girlfriend.

Story 1: Local trashy white man picks on Puerto Rican teenager

Eddie is actually the reason M's daughter's bathroom fucking scandal wasn't a FULL scandal. He kept that shit underwraps and stopped the gossip because he was friends with both parties involved.

M wasn't our original youth pastor. We used to have this ANGEL named Tim but he moved out of state so R gave the job to his son. I never liked M and then when he gave me shit for taking Fridays off because I was exhausted from school I hated him. He was NOT meant for that position. I think he only got it because he was a big kid (derogatory).

NO ONE liked M. Deadass no one came to youth group for the lesson. We came to hang out with out friends we only got to see on the weekends.

Literally the beef STARTED because Eddie was smoking off property BEFORE youth group with a few other teens. M didn't like that because he's supposed to be an example.

Keep in mind Eddie was 16yrs old. Living in an abusive household. Taking the brunt of the physical abuse from our mom because he protected us. And he was a poor kid going to a private school and had to keep a certain GPA to stay. Man was stressed and JUST wanted to smoke before he had to go infront of his peers and friends act like everything was perfect and he was hyped for God for 2-3hrs every weekend.

So for like 2 months M and Eddie were going back and forth on Facebook. Indirect posts, comments. EVERYTHING WAS OUT IN THE OPEN! Eddie refused to move it to DMs because he's not stupid. If this grown man wants to act a fool he was going to do it in front of EVERYONE!

Like M was judging him so brutally and pulling out Bible verses out of his ass. It was annoying.

It came to a head when R basically told my dad to control his son. Imagine being I'm your late 40s with a son in his late 20s picking a fight with a 16yr old. And you blame it on the CHILD!

That obviously didn't sit well with my dad.

And it wasn't like my dad was just some dude. My dad was head of security. My mom was heading the baby/toddler care classrooms.

We were at the church SEVERAL days out of the week.

That was my second home at that point. It's the church I grew up in.

WE WERE PART OF THE CHURCH!

So we kind of started getting pushed out of the church. I believe we had been there for like 11 years at that point.

We finally left after a year of the awkwardness and feeling like it wasn't home anymore.

Story 2: Death, Devastation, and Divorce

This one is rough. Deals with losing a child. And is still very much a story that hurts me 19 years later.

In 2005, R and E's son, JK, who was only 7 at the time died on an amusement park ride. He was a friend of mine and I was absolutely fucking devastated.

R and E were still married and E was the worship leader at the time.

And it was FUCKED UP devastating. Because E took JK's body home and prayed over him for 3 days for God to resurrect him. Like she admitted this in front of the entire congregation. What made her stop and accept it was he came to her in a dream and told her he was not leaving heaven.

There was a huge rift at the church over it. Instead of people supporting R grieving his baby half of the church ended up leaving following this.

People didn't like that R rightfully took a break from preaching despite E still heading the worship team. He had guest pastors come in and give sermons. I think he took 3 months off.

During this time E had an affair with the man who she is now married to.

So obviously R and E divorced. Got in front of the whole congregation and broke the news. E left the church and opened a little cabaret theater with the money from the amusement park lawsuit from JK's death. E took all the money from the lawsuit because R didn't want it.

Even though I think he could have out some of that money towards the church but I digress.

A few years later R met and married G and they're still together. I adored G and still very much hope she's doing well.

Story 3: NEW TEA POPPING OFF AS WE SPEAK

SO I can't remember the date but I had a dream that Joe and I visited a church in Texas and it happened to be pastored by R. It was a weird dream because I hadn't thought of R in years and why was he in Texas?

TURNS OUT during COVID R and G sold the church and moved to Texas. I HAD NO IDEA THIS HAPPENED!

And the day I had the dream R&G posted on their Facebooks EXPOSING E, M&M and some other not important assholes from the church.

THE FUCKING DRAMA

So when G came into the picture people were weird obviously. She wasn't E. And some Christians don't believe in divorve and remarrying.

But what R&G exposed was some of the leaders didn't accept her. E still had loyalties within in the church. WHICH IS WILD!remarriage. She had spies.

Also despite E getting all the lawsuit money from JK's death, in the divorce she fought for alimony on top of child support. R and E had another daughter.

R claims she had 10% of his salary. He didn't fight or stand up for himself because he was trying to make it as quick and clean as possible for their daughter.

He also took accountability for not protecting and defending G from the sharks in the church's leadership.

E and her spies at the church made R and G's lives a living hell behind the scenes. AND NO ONE KNEW!

And even now that R and G are on the other side of the country E and M&M are still making their lives hell, trying to claim their new ministry is fraudulent.

Imagine caring that hard.

NOW let me tell you about M&M! So M married M² and I had no issues with M² but now as an adult I realize if she chose and married that piece of shit why wouldn't she also be a piece of shit?

So R alleges in his post that M&M did some sketchy ILLEGAL shit in the church that made him ask them to step down from leadership instead of throwing their asses in jail which they didn't like. Which at that point should have just sent them to jail.

He didnt specify because M&M/E and R&G are currently suing each other. It's a big MESS!

And after M&M were forced to step down they left the church and moved to NC.

And M&M/E we're trying to turn the rest of R's family (his mom and siblings against him) but fortunately they all knew better.

People mentioned in the lawsuits are people from the church my family knew personally.

Mostly all people I never fucking liked too. Which is why I trust my gut about people always.

It's a WHOLE thing and my mom is watching Facebook for updates.

[mayalaen]

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks to @hullosweetpea for tagging me!

First, my AO3

How many works do you have on AO3?

186

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

2,072,229 words (don't ask the count for fics NOT posted 😱)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Supernatural, Stranger Things, Fargo, Stargate 'verse, Hannibal, The Blacklist, Dickensian, Angel+Buffyverse and more

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Alpha House 'Verse, Resonance, Best Brother Ever, CONventional Psychopathy Part 1: Primary Deviance, and Try on for Size - all SPN fics

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do, but I get into weird moods where it's hard to do it, so I'll go for a while without responding and then do a bunch to catch up.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably Inside (SPN). It's short but gory and really not a happy ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I tend to leave things on a good feeling but I think the one that has the most whiplash type of oh shit this is bad to oh wow we're all good is Rewritten in the Stars.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

In comments and in anon messages sent on Tumblr, but I delete immediately because I refuse to feed trolls. For the most part readers are SUPER awesome and I really appreciate them!

9. Do you write smut?

Tons!

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Open Sesame Street Walker is by far the wackiest one. It's a choose your own adventure but every choice leads to insanity 😂

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yup. I wouldn't have minded any other fic being stolen because it's all fanfic, but this person managed to grab the ONE fic I'm also writing as original fic and it's a world that's been living in my head since I was like 9 years old. It means a lot to me, so to have someone take it and make money off it with the possibility of fucking up a future book deal sucks. Every time I get it taken down, she puts it back up a few weeks later.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I think there's at least one, possibly two fics translated.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I wrote one crackfic, but I'd love to write more with somebody. I think it would be fun.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I can't say I have a favorite. I'm too much of a multishipper to pin down one in any fandom. The closest I can get is the OT3 of Leverage, Eliot/Hardison/Parker.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I really think I'm gonna finish all my WIPs. Might be delusional, but oh well.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialog. It's harder for me to put in a lot of description on surroundings because I always think it's going to be boring to the reader, which is silly.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Keeping it short and to the point. The only short fics I've written were crackfic.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

The closest I came to this is Castiel's noises in Resonance 'Verse. It's just animal noises. I don't think I'll ever attempt to actually write in another language. The most I would do is italics so it tells the reader it's spoken in another language.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Stargate SG1

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

It changes depending on mood, but right now it's Caging the Mongoose. It's not popular at all, but it's a Blacklist/SPN crossover and it's got all the things I love plus Dean is schizophrenic in it.

tagging (with no pressure or obligation): @actualalligator @unforth @ltleflrt @whataboutthefish @wheels-of-despair @peachonified @kallisto-k @lochnesswriter and anybody else who wants to play! Please tag me so I can see your stuff 💜

[chvndlr]

task seventeen: spring forward

1. first things first: do you like spring?

Yeah, it's fine I guess. Not my favorite but I don't really have anything against it either.

2. what is your favorite thing about spring?

Look, my favorite season is winter. I like the cold. I like the snow. I like that nobody's trying to get me to hang out at the beach. But I gotta admit the sunshine and the warmer (but not hot) weather feel pretty good.

3. what is your least favorite thing about spring?

I'm gonna be real with you. I fucking hate summer. Spring means we're that much closer to it and that I have another, like, six months before it starts to cool down again.

4. do you have a vegetable / produce / fruit garden?

No. I've thought about starting one, it'd be way better for my cooking than being at the mercy of whatever's in stores. But it's a lot of work and I don't think I've ever kept a plant alive in my life.

5. how about flower beds, or things planted in the house?

My house gives off a certain vibe. That vibe says "I'm 22 and I've never lived anywhere but a college dorm" which, despite not being factually true, feels accurate. Learning how to not kill a houseplant would really go against that aesthetic.

6. regardless of what you do or do not plant, are you good at growing plants? have a green thumb?

I think I've done a very good job explaining I'm fucking terrible at growing shit.

7. what’s your favorite flower or plant?

They're all pretty much the same....(Don't tell Nari I said that)

8. what’s your favorite scent that you associate with spring?

Floral scents. But not like real flowers, like candles.

9. is there a sound that you associate with spring time?

I guess birds chirping? You don't hear them much all winter, cause most of them leave and come back, so when you start to hear them a lot it really feels like spring

10. do you prefer sunny mornings or rainy afternoons?

Rainy afternoons. I'm not usually up early enough in the mornings to be happy about the sunlight coming into my house.

11. favorite thing to do on a sunny, warm spring day?

Take Jenna on a walk

12. favorite thing to do on a rainy, chilly spring day?

Stay inside and invite a friend over to play video games all day

13. do you celebrate Easter? any traditions you follow for it?

Eh, not really. My family was never big into holidays, so they were never a big deal to me as an adult either. No traditions or anything. And it's not really a holiday people get together and party for like Halloween or St. Patrick's Day

14. regardless of if you do or don’t: favorite Easter candy?

Anything chocolate-peanut butter. So Reece's I guess?

15. what other springtime holidays do you observe?

Are there even other spring time holidays? Other than St. Patrick's Day, I mean. Like who the fuck is out here celebrating Memorial Day?

16. favorite place in Merrock to visit in the springtime?

I've been here a couple years but I don't know. Pine Grove Gardens make for good photos in the spring, so I guess we'll go with that.

17. the spring bugs are coming out: do you rescue them and let them out of the house, or grab the nearest shoe?

Shoe. I don't need them getting back in the house the way they came in and fucking up any fruit that's on the counter.

18. are you a big spring cleaner?

Yeah. I didn't come to Merrock with much stuff, so I don't have much to declutter yet. But I am big into making sure every room is deep cleaned at least twice a year - in the spring and in the fall.

19. do you switch over your wardrobe from cold weather to warm weather clothes?

I saw a meme about switching from your winter blacks to your summer blacks, which sums up how I feel. I mostly wear jeans and tshirts year round, so all I really do is put my thicker jackets away for a few months.

20. how about the house: does your decor change for the spring season? do you rearrange furniture?

Yeah, I tend to switch out my decor every few months so it doesn't feel boring. It's been awhile since I rearranged furniture though. I like where it's at now.

21. what color makes you think ’spring’?

Pastels, right? Isn't that the big thing every year? The easter bunny is usually made in pastels, I notice a lot more pastel clothing when I'm doing photoshoots too

22. describe your perfect spring outfit:

Same thing I wear every day. I don't really think about my clothes unless I need to dress up more. And even then, I just make sure I look nice enough without putting a whole lot of energy into it. most adorable looking baby animal that you ever did see?

23. what’s a drink that makes you think of spring?

Mint julep. Couldn't explain the connection to you, but I seem to have them more in the spring than any other time of year

24. how about a snack?

Easy, peeps.