#but he has a habit of blaming himself for the smallest mistakes or just not understanding social cues and then punishing himself

[krenia]

"Finally it charged time to transfer the Marie piece and finish all the shipart—"

*random Aiden 30 minute [something] instead appearing*

[randomness-is-my-order]

can we talk about percy’s guilt and self-esteem for a second?? because imo he has an absolutely insane habit of taking the blame for soooo many things and even when he’s the cause of trouble, the lengths he goes to rectify an error are IMMENSE. the most obvious one is him literally accepting a surely fatal prophecy because he feels responsible for bianca’s death (and ofc, he cares about nico but at that time, he also felt like he owed nico) but in the show, they portray this very accurately by having percy readily try and give up his life as a way to circumnavigate athena’s lack of help which he 100% blames himself for and has also verbally acknowledged.

(not that this will hinder him from letting the gods know exactly what he thinks of them but that’s a conversation for another day.)

point is, percy is insanely loyal and he is insanely susceptible to a guilt-ridden conscience. he will hold himself accountable for the smallest of things i am NOT kidding, like he’s the kinda guy to scold himself internally for stepping on someone’s toes by mistake. and this stems from his low self-esteem even though there is loads of nuance here because percy is also very confident when the need arises but in small, more grounded interpersonal relationship moments, his view of himself is so heartbreakingly unfair. he can be admirably surefooted in front of mighty beings like gods but when it comes to his friends and other demigods, he’s constantly second guessing himself and taking blame for the smallest of inconveniences. and i’m just. so. torn up about it. because this taking guilt over unnecessary things continues on into the sequel series too because i so clearly remember him feeling guilty about calypso and i hated it because percy jackson will stand up for everyone and their mothers but he also doesn’t defend himself half as fiercely as he should.

here are some examples from JUST lightning thief about percy and his guilty schtick routine this boy istg he needs to have a higher view of himself goodbye.

[xexiar]

Character Analysis: Bakugou Katsuki. Part 3

As always: Disclaimer: This is for fun. I am not a professional psychiatrist, nor claim to be. These are my thoughts and opinions. If you do not agree, thank you for at least reading, but DO NOT comment!

——

Bakugo Katsuki acceptance.

This layout interesting. That’s because it’s not a linear course of events. But instead it shows the contrast between Katsuki’s conflicting beliefs.

Starting with the two memories on the right. Katsuki starting belief “I am superior.” Then to be proven that he is not. Which starts breaking into his insecurities. At that, he’s very uncomfortable understanding or managing. But instead of accepting to understand these emotions he fights back.

Then we have the two pictures at the far left. Where he needs help and is feeling of desperation but refuses the notion of Izuku saving him. He was physical vulnerable but his beliefs wouldn’t accept someone lesser as his hero. But next to that we see him accepting the notion to work with Izuku, even if temporary.

This a sharp contrast to everything he believes in growing up. It shows how much progress he’s done to break down his beliefs and questions them. Questioning the concept of “perfection” and if he even deserves to be helped. To be able to question his self worth is a huge step for him.

Now for the 3 middle images. Katsuki is at his lowest again, but this time he has new skill sets to help process things. At this point he have heard genuine admiration by the adults he looks up to. Along with having Best Jeanist as a mentor also helped challenge in internal beliefs.

I can only assume that while under Best Jeanist, Katsuki was being truly seen by an adult. Since growing up, adults were the only source to know where his self worth was. It is proven with the right help and encouragement a child’s self confidence can grow.

I like to believe Best Jeanist became a therapist to Katsuki. Where Katsuki learned to communicate and express in a safe environment. We see how he values his mentor. Which gives evidence to my suspicions.

But because Katsuki still is struggling to be emotionally vulnerable, he still tries doing things he always done. So when he challenges Izuku, it’s more along the lines that old habits die hard. Yet, when he sees that fighting isn’t getting the results he’s seeking he finally breaks down.

Katsuki has always been blamed for smallest mistakes. So, this has more of an impact on him because of his core beliefs making him take this as his fault. He does not see or comprehend anything outside of it’s because of him.

Up until this point, because of Katsuki mixed beliefs has him at a crossroad. So, he turned to someone who has always been there from his highest moments to his lowest. He finally accepted that he needed help and that nobody would be worthy enough than the person who has always reached out to him.

Due to finally allowing himself to be vulnerable he comes to a realization. Being vulnerable is ok. Allowing oneself to express and experience different emotions feels like a burden has been lifted. Katsuki even allows himself to accept genuine support without fighting back or performing.

We see this growth in accepting that his previous beliefs were wrong. That he’s not alone and can safely be himself. And due to this acceptance of self he also allows himself to re-evaluate all his past actions through a different mindset.

Katsuki admitting certain aspects of himself is still a struggle. But he comes to a lot realization that he’s struggling to process. So, for him being worried isn’t just due to past mistakes. This isn’t just about making up for his actions. Katsuki is also attempting to return the hand Izuku always gave him.

But Katsuki’s old habits still has him struggling with communicating verbally. Up until this point, his verbal breakdowns were all with intense self worthlessness being the focus. And when he experience a lost he does not know how to handle, is where the final wall of his belief system breaks down.

Where actions speaks louder than words. Katsuki always having to perform never thought about questioning this one simple yet impactful belief. So, to have Izuku just leave after Katsuki worked so hard to show that he’s doing better, it breaks him. For once he’s rejected by the one person who had never done so. To him this is a fail.

And the way Katsuki reacts to failure, time and time again, is a full panic attack. But this time he has nobody to blame for this failure. There’s no fingers to point, no one person to accuse. There’s not even a point of references on how he’ll be able recover from this failure.

But unlike the many times before, he does have better coping skills. He now has a different point of view on what is and isn’t possible. Yet, it takes some time for him to allow himself to process his emotions. Because the major skill he has learned to put into practice is acceptance.

He has to accept his failure. He has to accept the emotions that is washing over him. He has to accept the rejection that he feels. He has to accept every last ounce of thoughts and feelings for him to move forward. And when he’s done he is able to think clearly on what his next step is.

The next step is to vocally express his thoughts. Katsuki’s apology is much more than just stating that it was never Izuku’s fault. He’s apologizing for not accepting his own flaws. He’s apologizing for putting the blame on Izuku when that never should have happened. He’s apologizing for feeling so inferior that putting down someone else was all he could do.

The key component I took from this apology was that Katsuki is telling Izuku that it was never Izuku’s fault. That Katsuki blamed Izuku for something he never did. And when he states he doesn’t expect things to change, it has a double meaning.

Things between Katsuki and Izuku has long been changed, but I don’t believe Katsuki sees this. With how trapped he is struggling his belief system, he’s blind to what’s in front of him. So when he says “change” I took it as he’s referring to his dynamic with Izuku.

Katsuki’s and Izuku’s dynamic had long changed up until this point. But I don’t believe Katsuki is aware of this. Because of his internal struggles he seems to take information as symbolic, compared to Izuku. And because of self worth, he doesn’t believe that change is possible.

This apology also came off as a plea. Almost pleading Izuku return, if not for Katsuki than for everyone else. Katsuki insecurities doesn’t see him worthy to plea for himself. But he would do anything to that not fail again.

Which this all comes back to how Katsuki fully and whole accepts that the core belief of “perfection” is wrong. He accepts he isn’t this ideal and takes in all his flaws. Katsuki comes full circle back to the day Izuku reached out to him. That Katsuki is just another person and it’s ok to accept help.

——

Part 1 Part 2

——

That’s that. Next will be Izuku. If you think I missed anything please leave a comment.