#but he's kinda silly and nice and is basically married to his human host and they're really sweet i promise

[marilyngogosworld]

THE BEGINNING OF MR. KNIGHT AND I

Corpus Christi - April 2017

It all started in this rather small,slow moving beach city,Corpus Christi  Texas.

It was April 9th 2017 . After I had walked to this bar by myself, self loathing and basking in pity because it was sadly my 31st birthday, and I was all alone.In a place that I felt at one point was my safe haven, my place of rest, where I centered myself. Was now a place of desolate faces,souls that no longer accepted my extreme energy. Which I always tried to make sure it was a positive or white energy,but I am still human  and I'm sure not everyone I came across, I was able to leave with that lasting positive from me. So there I sat,at this god awful dive bar, and after batting an eyelash or two asked this wanna be, cut off T-shirt, cowboy hat wearing wanna be if he would be so kind, as to watch my laptop for a moment while I used the ladies room . He so kindly obliged of course. In the restroom I  what every girl on her birthday does, and got out my phone for a selfie or two. But once that ridiculousness was over. I caught myself in the mirror and just stared. Stared and thought about another year older, another year and I'm closer to my goal, yes , but nowhere near finishing. And another year I have been without what I consider my only prized possessions,my miracles of life, the joy in my life.. With that my tough girl act split in two and my true colors showing my true vulnerability.I was broken heart wrecked woman, with tears streaming down her face and a weight on her shoulders that only the world could fill. not  hope in for humanity . ………... A few minutes passed and I was  able to compose myself, and shake it off.  I wipe the far too depressing tears from my freshly made up eyes and gather myself, Then  walked out of the restroom.

to this much too territorial wannabe cowboy , and this new gentleman that was sitting in the seat next to mine.  Now from first sight, I knew he was a nice guy , handsome, but I couldn't really tell 100%........because his blinding bright neon green/yellow shirt was too much for my eyes to even take in at the moment. Until I walked closer and sat down in my seat , right next to his. Thanked mister wanna be, and after he tried to spout off a overused pick up line I just sent him to my website and let that be it ( I wasn't there for one liners,and he wasn't my type to begin with ) then glanced back at this man with the blinding shirt to see he was looking up what I told the other, and as I smile to myself he notices of course .

And I say “ I see your looking me up too”

He says “ Well of course , I kinda had to … didn't I ?”

And as I tried to not let him see my smile, which was far too apparent. I decided to feel this one out .  And if your all just now coming to the story about how I feel someone out , then you need to go back and read a bit more, I'm not going to explain how I do what I do.

So the best way to describe what I felt whenever I felt this man out, would be like he felt so familiar, like it was home, like my own breath being taken from my own lungs, as if it was me right there. That kind of familiar.  Which I have never EVER had, but how could I question it??

SO I asked him his name and outstretched my hand to greet him…

And with this firm handshake and him looking me directly in my direction I was able to get a good look at this man that I felt I already knew. WIth dark perfectly disheveled longer hair, darker eyes that were so kind yet piercing and a wicked gorgeous smile , I was done for. He was exactly what I needed for my birthday night. (Oh little did I know ) And after we both took a big gulp of our overpriced and under made drinks I turned back to him and asked him rather matter of factly.

“ This bar kinda sucks , wanna go to a better one ? “

“Ya, ya that sounds good”was all he had to say

WIthin minutes both of us were out the door headed to his car, and with a swift double step to be ahead of me, was to make sure he could get to my car door before me, and with a confidence and ease smoothly opened it up like he had doing that same motion for decades, practicing until he got it down perfectly for that woman of his dreams that he would be opening a door for,for the rest of his life. It made my heart beat with a quickness and my cheeks warm and flushed with a rosy hue,surprised by this reaction  disheveled I quickly gathered my composure and made a mental note of the major brownie points he had just rightfully earned in my mind.

As silly as it sounds that one simple chivalrous act from this man completely changed my thoughts about him.I could feel myself become more aware of how I was acting, and sitting and how he may or may not perceive me. Which is something that I NEVER did or cared about with anyone let alone a stranger….But I couldn't get a good read on him, to be honest I couldn't even imagine him being single. There was no way a good looking guy, like this,and a gentleman was still single.But I saw no ring,nor tan line. He must have some deep ridded issues that he carried as baggage to every relationship. But with each sentence and how smoothly the conversation flowed. I stopped worrying so much and just enjoyed a fun conversation something I hadn't done in a very long time.

Of course I just had to start in with the nosey prying type questions that I loved so much, just for the pure fact that it would typically make the other person uncomfortable, shifting in their seat as they contemplate if that question had really came out of my mouth , and if I wanted it to be truly answered. So there I begin with the rather personal questions and the playful banter between us just multiplied, he didn't even skip a beat. No awkward silence, no needed urge to fill that void either, the immediate comfortability was almost unnerving in fact. Meeting this very attractive human being and not feel a tinge of embarrassment over even the silliest of things that I typically turn red in the face over.

So of course I finally spit out the question that had been on my mind since the 15 minute car ride began. Now mind you,  since the beginning of my dancing career I had made a couple guidelines a sort of moral compass for myself to stay mindful about where I was going in life and what path was I going down. Basically it kept me in check when certain situations would arise  and if it was still on par with the standards that I set.There was one major thing that was 100% not ok in my eyes, I could never be a homewrecker.I experienced it as a child, and teenager royally screwing up my opinion of my father and even my mother . Putting marriage as an impossible feat instead of a no matter what and I made a promise to myself that I would never be that woman. So of course the next question was if he was married .

Then he said “ We are separated,not divorced yet. But the divorce is inevitable, it's been coming for 9 years now. My wife stopped wanting me, wanting to be intimate with me all together. And that's something that I need, its my love language, and I couldn't take the rejection anymore from her. So I ended things and seperated .

I was shocked by the upfront honesty to be well…...quite honest. My red flag feelers were ringing for sure, but my logic told me that if he was that upfront and honest with me then he for sure was telling the truth . That's when we pulled into the parking lot of the next bar, which I knew for a fact had my favorite Corpus Christi  DJ was hosting an epic night full of the good ole Karaoke. Little did I know how that night would forever change my life, epic is an understatement.

To be continued…..

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

Catching up....

I saw:

The Butcher Boy- A boy growing up in 1960s Ireland, seems a frightening young bully, the sort that threatens adults towering over him when he feels like it, and acts charming if it suits him. He has a host of problems. His father is a drunk with a violent streak while his mother has only the most tenuious grip of her own sanity. Even after his mother commits suicide he still has one bit of grounding in his life. He has a best friend who not only joins him in his games but acts as a check on his increasingly disturbed state. The boy focuses his anger on the mother of another kid, and when he acts on it he ends a reform school like setting. There the question of what is real and what is his delusion becomes more and more clear. When released the boy will find his friend has befriended the son of the woman he hates. Loosing his emotional anchor while his father drinks himself to death will have devistating consequences.

Believe it or not, in some ways this was a pitch black comedy. It’s narrated by the adult version of the boy, offering insights to his thinking that are often humorous in their contradiction to what we see him saying and demonstrating the boy’s lack of awareness of reality. That can be funny and tragic all at once. Emphasis on the tragic though. Dark and bleak and brutal, with a protagonist it’s easy to pity but impossible to love, it’s an interesting film. He reminded me far too much of some bullies I endured for me to really enjoy it.  

Z. P. G.- The title stands for zero population growth, the goal behind the laws that are behind the central problem for the main characters. In the future the world has become hideously overpopulated to the point where people get oxygen rations and fight over extremely rare fresh vegetables. After considering options such as euthanasia for a portion of the population, it is finally decided to simply outlaw child birth for thirty years. Considering the nightmarish state of the world and the horrifying other possibilities, this seems quite a reasonable idea. 

Unfortunately I see two big problems with their methods. First, they institute a draconian punishment for violators, implimented lynch mob style, that includes not just execution of the parents but the child. Reasonable as “no kids because humanity is to stupid not to over procreate” is, murdering kids is just the thing to make the government the baddies of the story. Secondly, rather than requiring some sort of long term birth control implant or some such, they use the honor system and voluntary  use of in home instant abortion machines. Since the film came out just before abortion was legalized, I wonder if the use by the government seen as the bad guys is to equate abortion with “bad”. That would be a strange way to think since clearly the Earth is horrifyingly overpopulated and abortions would have been the merest drop in the bucket to solving the problem.

One of the ways this world copes with the situation is by selling ugly interactive child dolls to those with a parental need. Sure, the movie was made more than forty years ago so they didn’t know modern tech, but golly the Baby Alive doll I had a few years after wasn’t creepy like these. Well, until she broke and Pop did “brain surgery” on her only to finds the broken part too hard to replace and the glue didn’t work to fasten the scalp back on. I just played with a doll with a top of her head as a seperate piece. Still, these monsterous child subsititute dolls get away with it because shrinks do brainwashing on their patients to make them accept the “no babies so play with dolls” situation.

Anyway, a woman gets all stupidly baby obessed, and without telling her hubby decides to have one. Her hubby is played by Oliver Reed, a guy that when a rare kid from the last generation bumps into him, he lifts the kid up by the shoulders and stares at him such that you wonder whether he plans to do something violent rather the probably intended stew of sadness. I wondered if his is naturally intense, aggressive, and cold masking fury demeanor were meant to indicate a sexist aspect of the society dominating the women, a specific indication of the dynamics of their relationship over turned by her unilateral choice of pregnancy, or simply a quirk caused by casting the then bankable star. Whatever the reason, it seems almost surprising when he decides the she let her carry the child to term, hiding her away in a forgotten bomb shelter under the guise of a marriage break up.

Basically, the parents so something incredibly selfish. Ignoring completely the greater society, think of the child. They want a baby, but they aren’t risking just their life. If anyone finds out about the child it will be killed. It will have to live hidden either in the bomb shelter or some other equally dark secret place. The child will have to live in utter isolation, without contact with any other human beings but their parents. Assuming once the prohibition on children is lifted they cease executing those that broke the law when it was in effect, they will not come into contact with anything beyond solitary confinement until they are in their 20s. And what kind of world will it be, where you have to wear gasmasks and boiler suits to go outside in the smog, all sorts of animals including pets are extinct, and food is the tasteless contents of toothpaste tubes. I dunno, but if you knew that misreable life you hate is the best case senario for the kid, maybe having a child just to make YOU feel better about yourself is a bad idea!

Anyway, the kid is born but unfortunately their best friends find out. That couple decide to use the threat of turning them into the authorities in order to get the baby for themselves. And despite the fact the parents never should have had the kid you have to hope they find a way to escape the situation for the sake of the baby.....

Very interesting film. I tend to like  early 1970s dystopias saying humanity is doomed, dated and unsubtle as they can be.

The Mystery Science Theater 3000 version Catalina Caper- A goofy henchman type steals an ancient scroll for a married couple who intent to scam a rich guy into buying it. They will give the rich baddie a forgery  and then return the original to the museum because these aren’t baddie baddies, ‘cause they need to stay redeemable. See they have a son who doesn’t like their naughty ways,  and he’s in the right late teens/early twenties age group to hang those young folk that are the other focus of the film. 

See a guy has just returned from home, accompanied by a guy from school, and there is partying to do. Right after a ferry ride where the ship board entertainment is actually Little Richard, that is. The guy may be the local stud, surrounded by a flock of girls at all times, but the pal is played by Tommy Kirk, probably recently fired by Disney and now stuck in films like this. So when one of them meets up with a Creepy Girl (Servo’s name) it’s the pal that gets the romance. I gotta say though, it’s kinda amazing since her opening words are to tell of an odd childhood encounter with a fish. Now while I have my own “little me meets a fish underwater” story, I’ve always figured it wasn’t the best way to introduce myself to guys. Of course I’m not pretty with a foreign accent, so maybe that makes the difference. But can he win the girl when she has a big bad boyfriend working for the baddie baddie? And does anyone care?

The movie is your average attempt at a 1960s comedy aimed at the clean cut youth of the day. Or at least the 12 year olds still fantasizing about being teens. It’s not to far from the rest the beach party films or the live action comedies Kirk might have made at Disney if it hadn’t been such a homophobic era. ** It’s not a particularly great example, it certainly isn’t memorable, but it’s definately typical. The guys give it a nice bit of mocking, with Servo’s love of Creepy Girl being particularly nice. 

Gotta say though, my favorite thing was the Mads invention exchange of tank tops. That is the tops of tanks as wearable item, a silly and wonderful idea. Here we have THE one sort of tank top I want in my wardrobe! LOL

**I believe Kirk is supposed to have been fired because his being gay had the potential of being made public. I might be remembering wrong, of course, since I can’t remember where I heard/read it. Probably NOT in an extra on a Disney DVD, that’s for sure.