#but her lack of gifs and icons is depressing

[comradecowplant]

people who never really cared about pokemon watching the palworld disc horse:

[magnoliabutters]

• SOMETHING NEW •

pairing: ellie williams x (she/her, 18+) reader

summary: assigned to another patrol with ellie, what’ll happen this time?

warnings: 18+ content, mdni, adult language: tlou 2 possible spoilers, canon divergence; heavy make out sesh, heavy petting, pet names, oral and fingering (r-receiving), the lesbianism, intrusive thoughts, lil’ rough play (light choking), lack of proof reading, etc.

word count: ~3.2k

reblogs for ellie, a gay icon 🌈 ✨

note: we are finding ellie 2 years post tlou2 (i think around age 21-22). all my love to bella, i’ll see hbo’s ellie tlou2 in a few years ♥️ also fresh from writer’s block and depressive episode, let’s get it!

“Ellie, we doing this or what?” you whine as you graze a hand down your horse’s neck. You turn to see Penny, Ellie’s latest conquest, roll her eyes and turning back towards her to finish their conversation. Ellie nods, smiling while her eyes float between yours and hers. As Penny waves a solemn goodbye, Ellie slowly walks up to you. She tightens her backpack straps against her shoulders. Her red auburn hair falling right to her shoulders.

“You alright?” she asks with a bit of a laugh. She grabs a saddle and lightly places it against her horse’s strong back. You hum, putting your back towards her. You place your rifle’s ammo into the saddle’s sack. “What is that, the sixteenth girl since you got back from California?” you mutter, intentionally not turning around. She scoffs as she tightens the buckles against her steed. “Blister, sounds like she’s been countin’, huh?” she asks her horse with an undeniable grin.

You shake your head no. Your hands hold loosely against the reins as you guide your horse, Milo, out of the stables. Ellie follows closely behind you. “Did they tell us where we’ll be stationed yet?” she asks, leading Blister 2.0 down the walkway. “Clock tower,” you answer. “Shit,” she grumbled, but you can barely hear it. Your eyes are on Jackson’s bustling neighborhood. It continues to shock you. It’s day to day is, at times, overwhelming. You find peace out beyond the walls. That’s the only place you can be yourself. Where you feel free. You hop onto Milo’s back as you slowly lead Ellie towards the front gate.

You have gotten to know Ellie through a few patrols on the ridges of Wyoming’s mountains. Never thought you would end up here. Jesse put you two together, sharing that you both have similar styles. Whatever that means. Despite the lack of conversation, not due to lack of trying on Ellie’s part, you have had relatively pleasant trips. You have especially enjoyed the marksmen competitions, simply started without a word and a single headshot.

Finally outside of the walls, you are able to let a deep breath out. “You know you do that every time we leave,” Ellie states curiously. You bite your lip, keeping your eyes ahead. You sense her looking at you, see her smile in your peripheral. She is taking notes, observing you. She would not know that you do this unless she was watching you. She would not be watching you unless she wanted to. Your heart flutters as you let out a shaky breath this time. But you are careful, careful to not show this bubbling anxiety within you. Careful not to let her get too close.

“You’re telling me you don’t like to take a breath of fresh air?” You ask, nonchalantly as you push on ahead. Ellie laughs, the kind of laugh that folds into itself. You almost expected to hear a snort following it. “You get plenty of ‘fresh air’ in Jackson,” she says with use of air quotation marks. “What’s the real reason?”

You gradually turn back towards her, your chin over your shoulder. As soon as your eyes meet, you quickly return your gaze forward. “A girl’s gotta have her secrets,” you mumble as you hurry your horse. Ellie shakes her head side to side as she slowly catches up. “You’ve got plenty, y/n,” she smiles. You bite your lip, smirking as you land your eyes upon the clock tower ahead.

An hour passes filled with callouts, work and no play. Reaching the base of the tower, you hop off your stead and guide Milo into the building. You tie his reins against the old piping sticking out of the wall. “I’ll meet you up there,” you say as you nod towards the stairs. Your hand softly grazing down Shimmer’s neck until you reach her reins. Ellie nods in response as she slides off her saddle. She closes the metaled gate behind you four. She pulls her backpack strap over her shoulder as she reluctantly walks up the steps.

You take a deep breath, pressing your head against the base of Shimmer’s neck. Your heart beats quickly in your chest. Breath continues to escape you as you attempt to push the feelings down. Ellie has never made you feel this way before. A sudden skip of a beat, sure - but never this. She just looks so damn good today. That burgundy hoody, with her skin-tight jeans. Her hair, short but ragged as it comes curling around her face. She is beautiful.

After ensuring both animals were safely secured, you walk up the steps. You see Ellie still bent over at the check in table. Her hand furiously writing away. Her backpack resting against the leg of the table. “You know writing ‘All Clear’ is good enough, right?” you ask callously. She peers back at you, her brows perplexed. A smile slowly forms. “Oh, I’m not just counting the infected,” she says matter-of-factly as she turns around. “I also have an ongoing tally of how many times you’ve been mean to me on our patrols.”

You cannot help the laugh that explodes from your chest. “Mean to you?” you ask between chuckles. Ellie’s smile becomes more of a smirk as she watches you through her untamed bangs. “You can handle it,” you whisper sinisterly. Abruptly, your body senses a change in the room’s ambience. A shift in control. She had it now. Ellie was in charge. It shifted, right from under your nose. “I can,” she states slowly. “And I like it.” You scoff lightly in disbelief. “You like it?”

“Yeah,” Ellie says as she leans back against the table. A pen still in hand. “I like it.” You gulp as your eyes widen. A hot flush rushes through your body as you attempt to process the scene before you. “What else do you like?” The words fall from your mouth so quickly you wish you could have caught them, stopped them. You bite your lip in nervousness as your eyes gaze into the blue-grey before you.

Ellie recognizes the worry in your body language. She bites her lip for entirely different reason. Her eyes are hell bent on you and your body. She looks off to the side as she states, “I like going on these shifts with you.” You smile as you let out a shuddered breath. Speechless, fuck. Why can’t you say anything? “Now, my turn for a question,” she starts as she pushes off the table. Her body both graceful and sturdy. “Wait - what?” you laugh off.

“Where were you before Jackson?” she asks, walking over to a window. You are thrown off by the question. It has been over fifty of these shifts with her, 2+ years of living in Jackson - yet, this is the first time she asks. “There was nothing before Jackson,” you reply as you meet her at the window. “I’ve been moving place to place since I can remember,” you add. Your eyes raking over the sight. The bright orange sun lowering behind the mountain tops. The once bustling town before them, absolutely empty. “Staying in one place for more than a month is not exactly natural to me.”

“But here you are,” Ellie says, not taking her eyes from the scene. “Here I am,” you repeat. You feel your shoulder brush against hers as you rest the tops of your thighs against the window sill. “Why are you still here?” you ask blatantly. Quickly, your mind rushes. Screaming at you. You accidentally let out an impulsive thought so carelessly, so dangerously. “Still here?” she laughs, turning towards you. “‘Cause of Dina, right? Man,” she mutters under her breath. A sound escapes her mouth, almost as though she is exhausted. Her face grows solemn. It is clear that this is not a topic she wishes to speak of. Your heart drops to your stomach.

Ellie leans against the wall, placing distance between you two. “Small town,” you start, hurriedly breaking the silence. “Doesn’t help that you’re practically a celebrity there.” Her frown immediately dissipates as a grumbling laugh erupts within her. Your serious face slowly crumbles down as you soon learn that her happiness is contagious. “A celebrity, huh?” she scoffs. “Yeah, or a superhero,” you joke half-heartedly, but her eyes jumped right up to yours. They are flooded with pain, anguish. If you stare long enough, they are almost unrecognizable compared to her warm personality. Not at all what you would have expected, but it intrigues you. You like it. You like her more, for it.

“Anyway,” Ellie pulls away. Her second time filling the distance between you two. You find yourself regretting the question, despite two years of curiosity. “I stay because of JJ,” she whispers. “JJ?” you ask. “My son.” Her eyes float to the ground. “Dina’s little nugget?” you lightly laugh. His rosy cheeks are one of the few things you look forward to each day. “He’s yours too,” you smile, happy in your affirmation. “He might be her nugget, but he was my potato first,” she chuckles to herself.

The hole in your heart fills with her laughter. It’s goofy, almost always a step away from an accidental snort. Ellie’s mesmerizing, it’s undeniable. It’s also why you have stopped yourself from staring at her for too long, up until this moment. “So you didn’t stay behind for Dina,” you mutter to yourself. Another impulsive thought escaping your lips. She looks up to with sincerity in her voice. “What I have with Dina is forever,” she starts, pulling her eyes from you. “But not my forever. Not anymore.”

You take a step back, taking in the powerful statement. It mimics your own story. The love you had and lost. Love that just is. Love that will never cease to exist but is no longer the front runner in your life. Your heart is open, just as hers is. “And you?” she asks, pulling you from your thoughts. Your eyes back on yours. Your heart skips every time you see those hardened, yet sweet, eyes on you. “Why are you still in Jackson?” You maul over the question. The very question you have been asking yourself lately. “Trying something new,” you whisper slowly.

With your eyes are fixed onto hers, Ellie begins to rake over the features of your face. She takes you in, all of you, as your eyes float to her perfect lips. You slowly muster the courage to raise your hand. Raise it to the side of her face, where her jaw and neck meet. Her eyes quickly shift to your hand. Surprise expressed upon her face.

You are slow, so slow as to not startle the bird. “Just trying something new,” you whisper as you lean into her. You note her eyes closing as she meets you half way. Your lips press against each other. A moment so incredible that it takes breath right from under you. Electricity sparks between you two. You hope she feels it too. Your hand against her jaw grips tighter to her face. You feel her hand placed gently against your hip, pulling you deeper into the kiss.

You pull away after what felt like forever to take a simple breath of air. Both of your eyes open to each other as you step back. Ellie’s mouth is ever so slightly open. Her body language looks as though she is about to pounce, ready for anything. A slow tongue runs over her lower lip. Your heart races as you lean back against the window, back to your safe spot - where you had been standing before. You slowly take off your backpack, letting it fall to the floor at your side.

As soon as your eyes hit the floor, Ellie closes the space between you two. Her hands rushing through your hair as your back as pushed against the cold glass. You fall back onto the window sill as you wrap your legs around her waist, pulling her atop of you. One hand softly floats beneath your shirt, holding harshly against the skin of your side. She breathes against your surface as your hand crawls up her back.

You can feel her grinding between your legs. The sensation leaves your eyelids fluttering. Ellie’s mouth slightly opens as a slick tongue slides against your lips. Without a moment’s hesitation, both of your tongues crash against each other. Electricity? No. More like fire now. There is a strong, bustling fire burning between you two. A fire waiting ever so patiently to explode. Not an extinguisher in sight.

Confidence fuels your actions as you desperately want more - more of Ellie. Your kisses gradually becoming more aggressive. Kisses turning into bites. Her grip onto your hair now pulling, no longer gentle. You wince at the pain against her sweet tasting lips. You feel a smile pressed against your own. “Oh you like that do you?” you whisper.

Both of your lips lightly graze against each other as the words fall out. Ellie hums as she presses against your mouth. “I like you,” she says softly. Her eyes still fixated on your mouth as you take in a breath. Your heart pounding, you can feel your ears pulsate. You push off the window, placing your hand behind her head, as you lead her backwards.

However, Ellie has other plans. She quickly turns you and leans you back against the table. Her hand back under your shirt, making its way to your breast. You let out a shuddered breath as her kisses trace from the side of your mouth to your neck. Your eyes close as you take in all only the sensation of touch. Her fingers grab hold of you. Your nipples harden in her grasp.

Ellie’s waist rests firmly between your legs. You begin to rut your hips against her as her other hand slides up your sternum and to your neck. Her index finger and thumb press into the sides of your neck as you feel the rush of lightheadedness fill your body. It is exciting, incredible. At the same time, you feel her other fingers tightening around you nipple. A little whimper leaves your body before you could stop it. All it did was egg her on.

Her hand quickly shifts to your pant’s button and zipper. You widen your legs, inviting her in. Without pulling at your jeans, she slides her slender hand beneath your panties. She curls her fingers up as they brush against your entrance. Her thumb, quickly and lightly, flirts with your clit as another whimper escapes your lips.

With a small pitch, Ellie bites your neck and breathlessly leans into your ear. “You’re so wet,” she whispers. “All for you,” you murmur back. She lets out a sharp breath of air as a smile fills her face. Slowly, two of her fingers press against your entrance. You bite your lip as she kisses against the crook of your neck. She leans in gradually, filling you up with just those two fingers. Another light bite against your neck as she feels your tightness and warmth.

As she bottoms out, her fingers curl within you. They gently brush against your g-spot as your eyelids flutter again. An intense level of pleasure that you cannot control overwhelms your body. You are hers now. She can do whatever she wants to you. And fuck, did you want her to. She slowly pulls away from that spot as her fingers begin to float back and forth between you. Her groin still grinding against you, but now following the movement of her hands.

You grip tightly against the back of her hair as you pull her more and more against your body. Finally, you lift her up and pull her mouth towards you. Your lips and tongues crash against each other in an embrace you will never forget. All while she pumps those fingers deep within you. You moan against her opened mouth as her eyes watch the pleasure expressed upon your face. She is fascinated by how good she’s making you feel. She doesn’t want to miss a second of your beautiful face.

“F-faster,” you muster before kissing and biting against Ellie’s lips. Her hand works hard to give you all the sexual sensations you desire. You entire body is on fire, plastered against her gorgeous frame. Your legs spread once more, pulling her in closer as they wrap around her waist again. Her eyes widen in surprise as her other hand grips tightly against the sides of your cheeks and pulls you in to a forceful kiss. You love it.

It becomes harder and harder to hold those moans in. They wriggle out with each of her hardened thrusts. “Fuck, Ellie,” you whine as place your hands against her shoulder blades. Your nails dig into skin, just below her shirt. “Keep saying my name,” she whispers back. “Just like that.” You immediately oblige her request, desperately wanting to scream her name aloud. You feel as though you might explode.

“Shit, Ellie, you fuck me so good,” you whimper as your head hangs back off your shoulders. “Oh yeah, baby? You like when I fuck you like this?” she asks between gritted teeth as her thrusts become more sudden and hard. “Oh my, fuck,” you let our slowly as you take in her pulsing fingers. “Ellie,” you moan as you struggle to maintain your breath. Your entire body moving with the strength of her thrusts.

“You gonna cum for me, baby girl?” Ellie whispers into your ear as she bites the lobe. You let out weak breaths as your nails dig harder into her back. Little gasps leave your mouth as you feel the rubber and in your stomach about to pop. “I feel you tightening around my fingers,” she says softly. “I know you’re close.”

Suddenly, she quickens her movements. The tips of her fingers curling and lightly brushing against your bumpy spot. “Ellie,” you let out abruptly. Your breath leaving you as you let out a deep moan that presented as music to Ellie’s ears. She moans along with you as her body curls against yours. “Fuck,” she lets out breathlessly as her eyes close. She feels you squeezing against her fingers. Your cum pooling in the palm of her hand.

Your moans slow as your body falls from your high. Everything feels like pins and needles as you crumple into Ellie’s embrace. Her arm wraps against your back as she pulls you in. Still with that wicked smirk on her face. “Fuck, you feel good,” she says breathlessly against your neck. Her fingers still warm inside you. “Again,” you muster the strength to say as your thighs attempt to clench together.

Ellie pulls back with an incredulous look. Her eyes rake over you face, attempting to gather information about whether or not she misheard. “Again, Ellie,” you say sternly. She smiles as her fingers curl within you once more. “No,” you whisper as you lightly tap her wrist. Her eyes flick up to you with concern. “On your knees this time,” you softly demand as you pull your shirt over your head.

You rest bare chested before her. Her eyes now filled with shock and excitement as they look over the new sight. You give her no time to adjust as you simply state, “On your knees.” With a smile, Ellie slowly falls to her knees. Her hands slowly pull at your pants until they fall the floor beside her. Her fingers from tightly onto the flesh of your outer thighs as she leans deeper into you. At the sight of this, you lean back onto your elbow against the hardened wood of the table. Your hand now deeply entangled into her hair as you push her further between your legs.

note: hi. okie bye.

taglist for ellie? ♥️🫶🏼🤞🏼

• nav • no-no plagiarism • one shot • requests open •

[murfpersonalblog]

Thornfield Hall, Manderlay, and Louis de Pyromaniac du Lac

I wanna talk about Louis' depression, Anne Rice's grief, and the element of fire in a few iconic Gothic romances/horror stories. (Trigger warning for suicide.)

Bar none, my favorite thing about Louis is his obsession with fire, and how it's linked to his abuse, mental instability, and trauma.

It's so neat how AMC's Louis chainsmokes when he's stressed, and has a hilarious attachment to the incinerator.

His fire obsession's a whole meme at this point, & everyone's excited for Louis going ham with fire in Season 2. I can't wait to see how AMC handles his most iconic book/film moment(s).

But I was rereading Jane Eyre, and thought alot about Bertha Mason (Mr Rochester's archetypal crazy wife in the attic), and Mrs. Danvers from Rebecca (which was inspired by Jane Eyre). And they got me thinking about fire and suicide in the Vampire Chronicles, so walk with me a bit.

Louis is called the most "human" of the vampires, because of how weak he was, compared to other vampires his age (and even younger). His rat/animal blood diet was tantamount to an eating disorder that heavily stilted his growth as an immortal, and for the majority of his life he lacked many of the Gifts vampirism afforded his peers (Mind Gift, Spell Gift, Killing Gift, etc).

However, shockingly enough, AMC decided to give Louis one of their most potent powers: The Fire Gift (pyrokinesis).

In the books it was explained that vampire blood is flakey & highly flammable, and only the oldest and/or strongest of vampires could withstand fire without serious injury or death--let alone use the Fire Gift to any significant degree--hence: BAMF Akasha using it as her signature attack in QotD. 👑

This seriously begs the question about where this show sits in the canon timeline, because book readers know that Louis only gains the Fire Gift, Cloud Gift, Mind Gift, etc etc after the events of Merrick, when Louis tries to commit suicide, and to heal Louis' burns, Lestat gives him a huge infusion of his powerful blood (having fed at length from Akasha in QoTD, and also God/Jesus in Memnoch.)

Lestat's super!blood healed Louis' burns and saved his life, but it also drastically & permanently changed Louis' body, making him more vampiric than he'd ever been, seriously augmenting his powers. This was something Louis had adamantly been trying to avoid--every time the Children of the Millennia/Coven of the Articulate met up, they all offered Louis infusions of their ancient blood, trying to help him power up, and every time Louis refused them all.

Louis retaining his humanity was so important to him, not only because of the Catholic Guilt he felt being a blood-drinking killer, but also because being physically weak allowed him one ultimate ace up his sleeve: if he ever got the courage to end his life, he could always rely on going into the sunlight, and burning to death.

So, while AMC's dust particle effect is very cool, I'd rather see vampires on FIRE--even though the ashes to ashes visuals are rather apropos.

Regardless, I was also thinking about all the other people & places Louis set on fire; and how it all ties in with the Gothic literature Anne Rice was CLEARLY inspired by--namely: Jane Eyre & Rebecca.

Cuz we know Anne Rice wrote Louis and his grief over losing Claudia as a self insert, as a way for her to try handling her own grief over losing her daughter. But she started hating writing as Louis, and being stuck in that depressive mindset, so AR switched to writing from Lestat's POV instead, as a more fun and carefree character for a few books--until Lestat had a crisis of faith in Memnoch and goes into a coma. We then get Armand's book, where in TVL Armand tries to commit suicide by walking into the sun after Lestat gets Veronica's Veil from Memnoch (i.e.: proof that God exists, from the Devil). Immediately after this is Merrick, where Louis enters another depressive episode, as he waits vigil for YEARS beside Lestat, who lies on the floor of a cathedral in a coma. As Louis mourns, he finds Claudia's diaries, which reveal just how much she hated & resented him, and he starts being haunted by Claudia's ghost. By the end of Merrick, Claudia's ghost has convinced Louis that he's worthless, and he agrees.

Suicidal ideation is HEAVY in both Jane Eyre and Rebecca. Mrs. de Winter is almost talked into jumping from the window by the housemaid Mrs Danvers, who hates that the widowed Maxim de Winter remarried (forgetting his first wife Rebecca), and gave Manderlay to the new wife--a girl half his age with no clue how to be a "proper" lady of the estate.

In Jane Eyre, Bertha Mason is literally insane, and was locked up in Thornfield's attic, until she escaped and set the place on fire, then jumped off the roof to her death. In the 2006 BBC version, Bertha sees an owl (a nocturnal bird) fly off the roof, so she follows it; like a free bird taking flight.

Who else does this in IWTV? PAUL with his birds. (Not to mention the PTSD from Louis' drop in Ep5, which would've definitely killed a normal person.)

For years, I thought Claudia's ghost was just an apparition: either one of the demons Lestat unleashed while fleeing Hell in Memnoch, or more likely as a manifestation of Louis' guilty conscience, as his mental state got increasingly worse as he read her journals; on top of him being scared Lestat was dying. But then Blackwood Farm introduced Goblin, and all the later books had prominent vampire ghosts that proved that vampires (and aliens, lol) have immortal souls that can linger. So the ghost was legit, and so was Claudia's deep-rooted hatred for Louis.

I've already said how I think IWTV is a story about (failed) marriages and parenthood dynamics, the power imbalances that ensue, and the resentments that fester. But so are Jane Eyre & Rebecca. At the heart of ALL of them are mental illness & houses on fire. Bertha Mason was violently insane, but she was sane enough to realize that Mr Rochester was tryna marry another woman right under her nose, when it was HER dowry money that bankrolled Thornfield, as his first wife. So in the 2006 version Bertha lights Jane's wedding dress on fire, taking the whole mansion down with her. (In the book she just tears up the dress & veil, then starts the fire.)

In Rebecca, it was Maxim's first wife Rebecca who was cheating, but the (nameless) second wife lived under her shadow & the ghost of her memory--embodied by Mrs. Danvers, who hated her guts, and fed into her deep insecurities over being married to a widower who hadn't gotten over his first wife Rebecca (*cough* little did they know though~! XD). After failing to talk the girl into killing herself, Mrs Danvers had a psychotic break, and set Manderlay on fire, dying in the blaze (joining her beloved Rebecca).

Taking the Gothic horror & suspense out--or, hell, INCREASING it--one could easily spin this so that JANE was the one who started the fire when she learned about Bertha in the attic and ran away from Thornfield (in some adaptations the fire happens the same night she leaves). One could also say that MRS DE WINTER burned down Manderlay after cracking under the pressure of becoming a married lady. Both of these second wives were driven crazy by ghosts of the past, and burned down the mansions that had become their tombs.

Cuz I mean...Louis is Lestat's second wife/husband, after Nicky killed himself in a fire. 👀 And Louis and Claudia literally watched as they burned Lestat's sidechick/third wife Antoinette alive, so.... 🔥

TL;DR: I think Anne Rice must've been struggling with a lot of suicidal thoughts around the time she wrote The Vampire Armand (book 6) and Merrick (book 7), to have both its characters do the same thing, one right after the other. Vampires and their vulnerability to fire/sunlight were just metaphors for very real personal issues. After writing IWTV, she walked away from Louis, burying her depression by writing more books as the sunny Lestat, who suntans for fun and is immune to fire by the end of QoTD. But in the back of her mind, AR might've felt guilty forgetting about her grief (Louis forgetting about Claudia--willfully forgetting about Bertha, Rebecca, etc....). So the ghost of this guilt came back with a vengeance in Merrick, as Claudia unleashed all her vitriol on Louis, and he hated himself to the point that he was convinced to light himself on fire--the sole reliable escape from misery he had left.

[honoringthehorrific]

I watched Junji Ito Maniac: Tales of the macabre and here's what I thought of each episode 2/3

Here's Part 2 to my review on Junji Ito's new netflix anime! As always Spoilers under the cut Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Review

Continuing on with what i thought of each episode...

Episode 5: Long Hair In the attic Cont. Long hair in the attic, I remember this story and it's always felt sorta...Sad to me? From the way the episode starts and we see them interact it's really depressing...She obviously cared about this man but he seems to toss her out like there's no issue at all. One thing I really noticed was how they draw blood in this one, It looks really nice. However I think Chiemi's head isn't as pretty when depicted in the anime as it was in the manga however the scraping sounds are definitely more cringe-worthy when you actually get to hear them. Episode 7: Tomb Town I believe this one is actually based on the new translation from VIZ Media, Which as of writing this isn't out yet. I haven't read an online scantlation of it but I was fairly excited to see what it was about going in! The story is actually really interesting to me? I thought it would be sort of boring but...It was really enthralling. The twist was wild to me! The use of 3D for the corpse was actually more interesting to me than the use of it for scenery like cars!

Episode 8: Layers of Fear; The Thing That Drifted Ashore A story I've not read. Surprised yet? I'm not. One thing I thought was neat was seeing the iconic layered image in the doctors office! I've seen images of this manga online. I think the concept of someone having skin line a tree or an onion is kinda cool! The image of the peel was sort of cool but at the same time the thought is painful. I remember i had skin on my foot one time that peeled up but it was so deep...It made me think of that time and it made me cringe. the image of her dragging the blade down her skin...This whole scene was vile and made my skin crawl and my stomach turn I think this was one of the best moments of the series so far. Again with the thing that drifted ashore i felt i had read this one before? However that may have just been the feeling of gyo. Another interesting thing is Tadashi is the name of the protagonist from gyo. Nothing else interested me much aside from the idea of human beings potentially being like parasites.

Episode 9: Tomie: Photo I was most ecstatic for this episode! Tomie is a special interest of mine. My wife loves Tsukiko's character so we were both highly critical coming into this episode. They were worried about Tsukiko's voice as they had seen Demon Slayer and heard her voice actress play Nezuko but we were both surprised by the deeper voice acting the actress did for the character as it was always the sort of manner we imagined the character would speak in. Another thing I'm happy about is how this series seems to be taking Tomie almost in order (Skipping the chapter Basement)! First Tomie, then Morita hospital and now we get chapter 4 Photograph! I can't help but hope for another part or even Tomie to get its own anime but for now I was thrilled with this chapter of Tomie's animated story given both My wife and I had qualms with Tsukiko's strange redesign? Her grown out buzz/pixie cut is swapped with a side swept one? As well as her eyebrows being much thicker than remembered initially... I was also mildly off put by how Tomie's voice changed between series? It's still Monica Rial but she's changed how she speaks for the character. It's deeper for some reason? Which while not a bad change still a strange one to me. One of the most disappointing changes in my wife's opinion was the lack of a willy wonka shirt. (RIP tsukiko's willy wonka t-shirt) I also kind of hated that they seemed to cut certain parts or lines? I know that they have to mind time but they miss the scuffle at the door when tsukiko goes to join her mother. They also miss getting to see tsukiko's mother's face as well as learning her father is in the military and at his post. Small details that feel..Like they just flesh out tomie's universe more. While the episode is very nearly shot for shot there's a lot that changed (To someone like me who is...a little obsessed <3) There's almost too many changes to over look.

Part 1 / Part 3 / Review

[juniperhillpatient]

City of Walls & Secrets Re-Watch

Oh wow, this episode, ok. I was mainly focused on Jet & Zuko (again oops) during this episode. But, that's not to say the rest of the episode wasn't interesting, because it absolutely was. I loved the opening scene with the Gaang seeing the city, & Sokka & Katara's excitement was cute. I can't imagine what it would be like to live in a tiny village where everyone knows each other & then see a big bustling city like that.

Joo Dee is right away so terrifying. Sorry Ozai, but you've got nothing on this chick. She is the stuff of nightmares to me.

It's the subtle, consistent creepiness for me. The feeling that something is not quite right. The way she shakes her head, smiling, at everyone that the Gaang tries to talk to & they shut their mouths. I love the underlying creepiness of Ba Sing Se. "Why do you keep all the poor people hidden & separate?" The dawning realization that there's something very wrong here. Also, Aang's continued lack of luck finding Appa is so depressing & I remember not being able to focus on much else because I was so worried about Appa the first time I watched.

I love Sokka & Aang pretending to be fancy rich people & goofing around. Sokka & Aang's bestie-ism moments where they're just being dorks are so precious. +100 iconic behavior points each. Another A+ comedy moment that gets me every time is everyone's confusion at the notion of just a regular old bear. Katara & Toph dressed all fancy was so cute, & I love Toph shutting down Katara responding to Aang's compliment like "don't speak to the commoners!" That moment just cracks me up. Katara gets +300 iconic behavior points for getting them into the party & +100 for making Toph's fake name "dung." And some people think Katara isn't funny!

Jet becoming increasingly obsessed with Zuko & Iroh is just so sad. What's important to note is that Jet was actually obsessed with Zuko before he found out that Zuko & Iroh are fire-benders. He wanted Zuko to join the Freedom Fighters because he felt a connection with him after they stole the food for the refugees together. He was following Zuko around & trying to convince Smellerbee & Longshot to give Zuko a chance & that's the only reason he was paying enough attention to see Iroh fire-bend. It's the betrayal & tragedy for me <3 Wow, I love a good ol' tragic fucked-up whirlwind love-hate romance dynamic.

And like - the thing is that Jet is right! He's more right than he even knows! Zuko & Iroh ARE fire-benders but not only that, they're Fire Nation royalty. Like not even just "yeah, they are fire-benders," no, they are literally both personally directly responsible for harm caused by the Fire Nation. Yet everyone around him treats him like he's crazy. Even his closest friends think he's becoming too obsessed. And it's understandable. Smellerbee & Longshot both want Jet to move on for his own good. They want to move on with their lives & stop obsessing over vengeance, & the Fire Nation. They want a new life, but Jet is still stuck in his obsessive hate. And like.....the thing is, the thing that gets me, Jet is not wrong to be stuck? The more I think about it, the more right he is. As we know, Zuko eventually personally helps the Fire Nation conquer Ba Sing Se. Like??? Hello??? Jet was literally 100% right to be obsessed & concerned.

Anyway. Jet & Zuko obviously both get +1000 iconic behavior points for having a dramatic gay sword fight in a teashop. I'm losing track of who's winning, but they might be at this point. Katara's also doing pretty good. Anyway, I will never get over Jet attacking Zuko to try & force him to fire-bend. It's dramatic, it's hilarious, it's tragic, & it's a great fight scene. They really do have the range. I absolutely love Zuko popping out with his dual swords like - "I'll give you a show!" Dramatic fucking king, I love you so much Zuzu. Also, can we just like, acknowledge that Zuko apparently had his swords on him while waiting tables? Good for him.

The end of this episode is pretty chilling. Jet getting arrested is just a rough scene. And the introduction to the creepy brainwashing that happens? Terrifying.

When the new Joo Dee shows up & she smiles creepily & says "I am Joo Dee"? Eugh. Chills, every time.

This is a great episode. Very creepy & foreboding. I love the introduction to Ba Sing Se. I just love a setting where Something is Wrong.

[gamerdog1]

Another Anime Review

There’s some series that, over the years, you hear about from other people in the anime fandom at large. Usually its just about the overall series, and people will tell you to not look it up, just to start it. You just kinda have to take their word for it. Then there’s others, where its the events of the series are what people talk about. Some pieces of media have a moment so iconic, that they’ll tell you about it first, then what the series is about afterwards. Scenes like those are often cut up and put into YouTube compilations, titled things like ‘Top 10 WTF Moments in Anime, Part 3′. Those clips often stick in the mind for years, waiting for their chance to be rediscovered and understood in full context. This just so happens to be the case with this month’s Anime Exchange assignment, a 12 episode series simply titled Another. 

Another, based on the manga by Yukito Ayatsuji, is a supernatural mystery series that follows Kouichi Sakakibara, a teenage boy who is a transfer student at a small town high-school. Upon arrival, he discovers a mysterious girl with an eyepatch who nobody acknowledges, and learns about the mysterious ‘Calamity’ that seems to befall the third 9th grade class every year. One by one, students and their families die mysteriously, and its up to Sakakibara and the mysterious girl to figure out why. 

Series like these are usually out of my usual range, but I found that I was pleasantly surprised with what was offered. I was immediately grabbed by the sense of mystery and dread steeped into every frame of this series. The visuals are muted, with even bright sunny days lacking their typical shine and luster. This, combined with the resting gloomy faces that every character had, really set the tone for the entire series from the get-go. Wherever scenes took place, the series maintained this depressing atmosphere, something which is quite impressive given that it attempts the time-honored anime tradition of a beach day episode in the second half of the series. 

However, what made itself apparent just as quickly as it’s tone was this series’ love for lore-dumping. In the very first episode, we see Sakakibara recovering from a collapsed lung in the hospital, where he meets three students from the high-school that he is transferring to. Their full names and titles are thrown at the viewer so fast, it’s quite difficult to process. This is something that, unfortunately, happens quite a lot in this series, as it needs audiences to be familiarized with the entire class before it can start killing them off. I found myself remembering characters by a key characteristic of them, not their names or titles (’Glasses Girl’, ‘Pigtails’, ‘Carsick’, etc), which lead to confusion whenever they were brought up in an important conversation.

This problem is only compounded when the series starts playing with names to keep up the mystery. In the earlier episodes, Sakakibara discovers that years ago, a student named Misaki died in the third 9th grade class, an event which started what is known as the ‘Calamity’. What makes things complicated is that there is revealed to be two other Misaki’s in the series: one who died in the hospital on the night that Sakakibara was discharged, and the other who is the mysterious eyepatch girl. Everyone in the series refers to all three of these characters as ‘Misaki’, so good luck figuring out which one they’re referring to, unless you were really paying attention, or have already seen it. 

The main Misaki herself (or as I call her, Eyepatch Misaki) is really not much of a character at all, which is quite disappointing. Her role in the story as a whole makes sense, being the creepy goth girl who everyone is fine pretending doesn’t exist to try and stop the Calamity. However, beyond that, she really doesn’t do much. For someone who gets nearly as much screen time as the main character, and could be considered a deuteragonist, Eyepatch Misaki does little to progress the plot. Most scenes she is in, she simply gives vague hints about the mystery, follows Sakakibara from place to place, and hardly shows any emotions. She could be replaced with a stuffed animal and she’d still have about the same level of agency or importance. 

What makes this all the more disappointing is that the series has enough time to develop many other characters in it’s 12 episodes, yet excludes Eyepatch Misaki from this in order to keep up her air of mystery. Characters like Akazawa, the Head of Countermeasures, are given full and satisfying arcs, yet Eyepatch Misaki remains as she was in the very first episode until the end. In a series whose main cast is a classroom of students, screen time and character development is precious. Every character is fighting to be the one that audiences latch onto, to be the the one who people remember the most, or whose death hits them the hardest. What baffles me is that the most important one (aside from Sakakibara), the one who is on every poster or cover of this series, is little beyond a macguffin or, to borrow a phrase, an eyepatch-wearing lamp. 

What saves this series from being just another creepy high-school mystery series is its brutality. I wouldn’t consider myself a gore aficionado, but when I learned that this is the series that the infamous ‘Umbrella Girl’ clip came from, I was immediately excited. That one clip is just a taste of the bizarre and sometimes downright cruel deaths in this series, as one by one, the students of the third Grade 9 class succumb to The Calamity. The deaths in this series are also pretty creative, and prey on common fears that anyone might have in the back of their mind. Combine the fear of falling down the stairs with the old ‘Don’t run with sharp things!’ adage, and you get something so perfect and brutal that you won’t be forgetting anytime soon.

The best thing that I could compare this series to would be the Final Destination films. The comparisons to Final Destination are pretty easy to see; a group of teenagers do something to anger Death itself, and are picked off one by one in highly improbable ways to atone for that. However, I would say that this series is less stomach-churning than those films, as the characters’ bodies still stay mostly intact even after death. This might have been a budgeting decision from the studio, but if it allows me to eat my homemade guacamole while watching, I’ll say that’s a plus.

Another is a series that really made the most of it’s short episode run, albeit by rushing here and there. The visuals are good (though I wish they’d stop putting the highlights of hair in the shadows...), and the story is pretty engaging, such that I found myself trying to work out the mystery on my own between watching sessions. However, the series also has a penchant for dumping lore on the viewer, bombarding them with names and dates that it refuses to help the viewer process. This is a series best watched with a pen and notepad in hand, so you can write down all the information characters drop before its too late. 

As well, I wish this series had spent some more time developing and fleshing out it’s second main character, Eyepatch Misaki. She really had the potential to be cool, especially with the mystery behind her second eye and the doll shop, but she was often pushed aside in favor of side characters. Perhaps she is more developed in the manga, but who knows when or if I’ll get to that. 

7/10

[antiquemotel]

what do kpop idols in general think of blackpink rosé? like their impression of her?

♡ Idol's Impression of Blackpink Rosé ♡

Hi Hi Hi~ As a die hard Rosé Stan, it was surprising how easy/quick it was for me to sync into her energies and the energies that surround her. This reading aims to be accurate, as I remained completely unbiased and read into the darker energies as well.

Before I start, a quick Disclaimer:Tarot readings are subject to interpretation. All tarot readings given by me are for entertainment purposes only. Choosing to believe in the tarot is a choice.

Deck used: Rider-Waite Tarot deck

She's a popular girl, extremely extroverted and out there, unlike most of the energies that surround her. I see some false signals. Many facts about her formulated by the public seem to be incredibly inaccurate, for instance, Rosé is actually extremely wealthy and with many friends. In fact, Lisa and Jisoo seem to be the most introverted of the bunch. Many people on the inside (idols) and even saesangs??? Are actually aware of that fact, more than delusional fans at least. Many people try to put Rosie into a box of what they assume her to be, (shy and, dumb) and it's extremely false/inaccurate.

Rookie idols/male/female

shheesh okay, that was heavy. It is evident that she is known. ~~~extremely known and talked about among the younger idols, perhaps one of the most famous members. A lot of female rookies look up to her and attempt to reach her level of prowess and try to mirror her style/fashion, as she holds a western vibe that's highly sought after nowadays. She holds girl crush value among female rookies, as many of them apparently follow Chae's Instagram on their secret accounts. Her unique sense of fashion and loyal fanbase is something they want to create for themselves. Jealousy, jealousy. But it's as if she's out of sight, out of mind. If she's seen on a magazine cover or in a photoshoot/insta pic she'll be the talk of the town, meanwhile her lack of activity causes her to be less and less looked up to and more categorized as exclusive /unreachable.

Now for the rookie male idols, :/ The disrespect. Now, i so badly want to feed into the male idol fantasy, but as someone who works with energies on an almost daily basis, it makes me sick to my stomach knowing how many bozos there are. Yeah. I don't even want to talk about this, as I can do an extremely detailed reading/exposing rookies on this topic alone if requested. Now for the good ones! There are a bunch of cute rookies that see rosé as a respectable 누나 (older sister) and categorize her as more of a western celeb?; Who's just in a lot of Skincare/French fashion house advertisements. (heavy on the YSL)

Senior idols/male/female

:)))) I'm feeling murderous. Jokes aside, Female senior idols from YG really do respect the grind, ICONS, GODS. But can't say the same for them salty mfs (not even going to expose them, but at least they ain't from YG) who see it as easy fame. A lot of idols see Rosé and all of Blackpink as solo artists and see Rosé as one of the more talented ones. Probably that one appearance with Lee Dong Wook did the trick. There are many not-so senior idols whom are actually close with the girls, mostly Rose due to her extroverted-ness? I can totally see this one twice member and a few red velvet members being tight with her. Chae do be collecting girlies ♡_ ♡.

Now for the senior male idols *smiirkkk smirk* For your info, Rosé isn't a depressed single. Girl has smthn going for her! I doubt he is still a properly established idol, tho (perhaps solo??). Okay, I'm going to be triggering some people and operating in a tiny gray area right now. With Tarot, and I mean legitimate, properly appreciated /respected/ legitimate, did I say legitimate? Tarot that coincides within people's boundaries, it IS possible to feel the energy of people and their spouses on them! Especially if their spouse has this dominant energy. If the energy isn't dominant and remains a little dormant, it shows a few other traits such as more docile, calm behavior(I feel as if I'm talking about a pet puppy); toxic behavioral patterns can be detected too!!. Nevertheless, the person itself has to be assumed by facts you already knew based on the signals you receive. If I receive a signal stating that the person is extremely artistic or passionate and that they work in entertainment, it's safe to assume they're someone semi/extremely famous. And then I can proceed to ask the deck if it's someone the general public knows well and if they're close to ~~Rosé~~ and if their relationship is panning out well. Anyway, senior male idols close to this person are very well aware of what once was (or possibly still is~) going on between them. And for the other senior male idols, they couldn't care less (are very nonchalant/not nosey) and/or genuinely don't know much about her life/relationship as it was extremely private. Rosé seems to be a private person when it comes to love, and it's evident :)) This person's energy is quite opposite to hers, much more puppy like and kind of cute ? a very sweet guy who's also very like-minded to her. I doubt he is Korean, as he's really open-minded and seems pretty carefree.

That's it for the reading babes,

I do answer requests, so please do feel free to send me some (anons welcome), and I do in fact also do personal Tarot readings! Here and Personal ships and birth chart analysis Here

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My Masterlist<3

(I'm planning to add a bit more to my Masterlist so if you have any suggestions on what you'd like to see, feel free to request or DM me. If you would like to talk, my door is always open LYSM<3)

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[firelxdykatara]

Gun to your head, do you ultimately prefer Buffy or Elena?

YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME NORA IT ISN'T FAIR JUST PULL THE FUCKING TRIGGER- /hj

gods, ok, if i absolutely 100% had to choose... probably buffy.

both buffy and elena are SO important to me (there's a reason i imprint so heavily on female protagonists who go through extreme trauma and have extensive on-screen depression arcs but ahhhhh let's not unpack THAT right now--but lana lang and emma swan also go in that category, it's basically the easiest way to sell me on a show but let's move ON -cough-) and both of them are treated so unfairly by the writers/showrunners AND by the fandom, but i think at the end of the day i'd have to pick buffy because, overall, btvs is just better, in about every single category.

i never really got the sense, while watching btvs, that the writers disdained me, specifically, for enjoying their show and loving buffy summers. she gets put through SO much shit, and i have so much criticism alongside the love in my heart for how her friends treat her, how her mother treats her, how the writing treats her at points... but ultimately, she's still the focal point of the show. she is the pin on which everything hangs, and without her, it all falls apart. the show cannot exist without buffy summers, and it never tries to.

i may loathe joss whedon on a very personal level these days, but i have to admit that at least he understood that he couldn't carry on the show without buffy summers. his intention may have been to end the show with her death, but once forced to extend it, he brought her back--and that lead to her arc in s6 which is incredibly important to me, and i'm not sure i'd still be here today without it.

(which, again, we can leave packed lmao)

while i love elena gilbert so fucking much i can't breathe sometimes with it (yes i'm dramatic but listen), a lot of that is in spite of the way the narrative clearly wanted me to feel. there is so much scorn and apathy baked into nina's final two seasons on the show, and the fact that it even continued after that point is an insult to the work she put in and the character she played who was the central load-bearing pillar of the entire series.

granted, i got the feeling that the writers and showrunners just quit caring about anything at all with respect to the show, not just about elena, so maybe i'm reading more malice into what was ultimately just a lack of care. it hardly matters, because the result is the same--the series tanked, the two seasons without the main character were terrible, and the show is treated with well-deserved scorn in a way that i don't think btvs ever will be, despite public opinion having long since turned against joss whedon (also deservedly).

but the point here is that while i'm absolutely willing to put in the work to keep loving elena in spite of what the show did with her and her relationships in her last two seasons, that's a whole lot of work i don't have to do for buffy. granted i will still put a lot of time and energy into picking apart things that did not land well--Dead Man's Party and Empty Places, Seeing Red, so much about the way buffy is treated in the final season by her loved ones, ongoing issues with racism and biphobia throughout the series, etc--but it's a bit like the energy i put into atla vs vld. one of them is, overall, an excellent piece of media that didn't always stick the landing but still survives as a cultural icon for a reason, and the other is almost universally derided because everything that had been of value to the narrative was destroyed in universe by its end.

so yeah, i guess, tl;dr: at the end of the day, i'd pick buffy--because she comes from the stronger show, her arc ultimately had a purpose i can still point to even if i don't always agree with the directions the narrative took it, and i don't feel the same sort of enduring bitterness when thinking about her that i do when thinking about the show elena came from that did her so poorly and then ran itself into the ground completely in her absence.

[peachesandcows]

If you know me, you know Buffy The Vampire Slayer has basically been a hyperfixation for me since I was like 10. That being said, I’m gonna talk about Spike. If you don’t like him: cool✨ this isn’t for you👍

Ok so he started the series as probably one of my favorite suave villains. Absolutely devoted to his insane love, Drusilla. Honestly, they were great. Completely lacking in remorse and just hoping to cause chaos and have a blast. What more do you want in a villain? They were cool, pretty, and completely evil. Also, Spike always had the best sense of humor. He knew he was bad, and he liked to mess with his enemies. Like, THIS was how he threatened Buffy’s mom??? Iconic

So, we continue and Angelus shows up. Oof. He’s a very different post, but that’s not now. Anyway, Evil!Angel (lol) made one very important mistake. Ok he made many, but this one is important to my point. Our least favorite soulless, brooding man messed with Spike’s girl. Angelus always had that weird complex about owning all of them, so yeah, he wanted to make a point. Unfortunately for him, Spike cared way more about Dru than ending the fucking work. Spike teamed up with Buffy (for the first time!!!!) to double cross the bastard and get his girl out of town before they got caught up in shit bigger than he cared about.

Honestly, I already liked him, and I didn’t expect him back at this point. However, Spike never does the expected, and that’s why I love him. So, he shows up next season all heart broken and looking for some destruction and a way to get Dru back. Lol she left him for that weird gooey deer guy. He’d ‘gotten soft’ because he chose her over ending the world. Spike fucks some shit up a couple times that season and is my favorite little inconvenience. Also, weirdest/best friendship:

Then things get ✨interesting✨ in season 4. Spike is back! And he’s immediately abducted by the government! WHAT? That’s right, our favorite little asshole just got chipped. Now he can’t hurt people unless he wants an instant migraine, and apparently, like, that’s enough? Like, he just goes, k? Guess I can’t do that anymore. Head go ouch if I hit people, so I’m good now. Ok, maybe it wasn’t that simple, but he does get tied up and held hostage at Giles’ house! Which just creates the funniest commentary for basically all the scoobies’ meetings. He does a bit of double crossing to try to get the chip out and screw them over, but hey, that’s pretty valid for a guy that came back to town to kill Buffy.

By season 5, Spike’s basically just your local asshole who reluctantly helps if you pay him. He had a fun moment of realizing he could punch other monsters, so now he’s kinda good? But only bc violence is fun?? Honestly, best reason. This season is where all his ‘I HATE Buffy SO MUCH’ feelings get all confused and he’s like, girl… pretty? So he gets kinda obsessed? I’d like to remind everyone, 0 soul. Absolutely no soul. When Angel lost his soul, he tried to end the world. Ok, thanks for hanging on through our moment of perspective. Now, Spike decides he’s in love, so Buffy gotta die. Lots of mixed feelings for her. Understandable. Mortal enemies, but pretty girl. Seems like a valid moral dilemma to me. So, Spike does some weird shit, but then it gets weirder. He does some nice stuff? Then… some genuinely caring stuff??? Our boy’s in love y’all. Remember, Buffy still hates him, but he’s definitely growing on her. Enough that in the end of season 5, she asks him to protect her sister bc she’s about to die. And when Buffy actually died? Yeah Spike sobbing in the background will always kill me just a little bit every time I see it.

Ok I’m not using the gifs of the sad scenes bc… well I don’t want to. This is my hyperfixation rant, I get to pick the graphics. Ok season 6, my favorite thing to binge watch when I’m fucking depressed bc what the fuck it’s so sad. An entire season of ‘grief, addiction, depression, ptsd, and generally our inner demons are the real villains’. Well, Spike held up to his promise. He protected Dawn, and when Buffy came back, he’d counted the days since she’d died. (Ok that scene always makes me cry and seriously if anyone ever looked at me like THAT I’d probably marry them that day but ANYWAY) So, this season things get kinda weird between Spike and Buffy. He loved her, but he has no soul; therefore, his morals and perspective is kinda shit. Buffy hated Spike still, but she hated herself even more at this point; also, she knew how much he cared about her. So how do all these complicated feelings come together? Well… to be crass, there’s a lot of coming together. Okay yeah I’m the worst. Anyway, they fuck a bunch. Buffy hates herself because she doesn’t want to be alive, and she’s using Spike as a form of self h*rm and as a way to feel something. Spike is being emotionally tormented by the arrangement, but he loves her and figures he’ll take what he can get. Remember! He’s still soulless at this point!! So we have some depressing and angry conversations. And we have… the bathroom scene. Every fan I know hates it. I went to a panel with James Marsters (Spike’s actor) and HE hates it. I’ll always see the scene as super uncomfortable but it’s really complicated because it’s an accumulation of all of their relationship that season and that’s kinda everything I want to say about it bc it’s just too much for rn. But, Spike leaves town.

Season seven folks! Final season! Spike comes back! Sorta!! William returns✨ Spike got his soul!!! He wasn’t cursed like Angel. No, he FOUGHT for it. He wanted to deserve Buffy. Ugh I love him. Unfortunately, getting your soul after being a murderous monster for like 2 centuries tends to drive people a bit bonkers. Especially when you were a soft little poet when you were human. God he’s baby. Well, he decides being sad is for quitters and stops. I’d love to say that’s an exaggeration but like… that’s basically what happens. I love him. Spike is back bitches. And he’s completely in love with Buffy. And she like?? Kinda leans on him for support, but she’s also super tense about real romantic attachments after everything, which is reasonable; so it doesn’t get super far. He just kinda hold her. It’s beautiful. He has his little speech about how she’s it for him, but he doesn’t expect anything from her. So, in a moment that will always break my entire heart, he sacrifices himself, using his soul to power a weapon to bring down the hell mouth and save them all. SPIKE! After everything!! HE DID IT! I’m sorry, but no character’s redemption arc will EVER compare. And the moment, where he “can feel it, Buffy. It’s really there. My soul”. And she grabs his hand, not willing to leave him to die. And their hands are on fire together and he’s just smiling at her and she says she loves him and (god I fucking can’t with this scene) he tells her, “no you don’t. But thanks for saying it.” Fucking kill me, it would hurt less, thanks. So spike burns, saving them all. And Buffy’s last word in the series is, “Spike.”

A beautiful end to Spike, right? Well, he’s not done folks! Nah, death can’t keep this man down! He comes back from the amulet! In Angel (~The Series~). Our boys are back together, now both with souls! So are they friends?? No :)! They hate each other. They loved the same girl and argue about it a lot. They act like weird brothers; always annoying each other and being hella petty. In the end, they grow together, kinda like mold lol. It’s a great end to Spike because it really connects who is was at the beginning and end of his development. Brotp 💙

I’ll always believe that all Spike really knew how to do was love. He was burns countless times, but he always fell again. He was such a good man that even without a soul he helped people and cared about them. He had a ton of flaws and issues, but that’s kinda what made him human, ironically. Spike will always be one of my favorite characters. Sarcastic asshole❤️

[margueritehall]

CAN YOU SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME? - YMCULC

all the king's horses, all the king's men, couldn’t put me together again

( the archer ; taylor swift )

marguerite ( maggie ) brynn hall, the gentle bad-ass 

“ show me a hero and i’ll write you a tragedy. ” 

― f. scott fitzgerald

– BASIC INFORMATION – 

» full name: marguerite brynn hall

» nicknames: maggie, mags, margie

» age: twenty seven ( at time of snap ), thirty two ( at time of blip )

» birthday: january eighth, nineteen-ninety-one, ten fifty-five in the morning 

» birthplace: philadelphia, pennsylvania

» zodiac sign: capricorn sun, libra moon, aries ascendent 

» current residence: new york, new york

» gender: cis female

» occupation: social worker for the stark relief foundation displaced children division, later avenger trainee

– HEALTH – 

» physical health: overall, maggie is in excellent health. she works out most weekday mornings and tends to eat a balanced diet. she doesn’t drink too often or smoke at all. she knows that her health conscious habits stem from her need to control everything that she is able to but that doesn’t stop her from being set in her ways.

» scars: she has several small scars from various bumps and scrapes but there is a sizeable scar on the front of her left shoulder from a car accident while she was a freshman in college. a driver t-boned her small sedan in an intersection when she was on her way home from a final exam. when she woke up in the hospital, with both of her parents at her bedside, she had stitches stretching approximately three inches from her clavicle towards her upper arm. 

» broken (any) bones: surprisingly, despite being quite active, maggie hasn’t ever broken a bone. she’s quite graceful from taking dance classes since she could walk until she graduated high school.

– MENTAL HEALTH – 

» extrovert or introvert: since getting older, maggie has become comfortable with the knowledge that she is a relatively private person. when she was younger, she enjoyed being in crowds however, she now tends to retract into her shell when surrounded by too many people. 

» logical or creative: maggie is incredibly logical; she is very formulaic in her thought patterns. when it comes to problem solving, maggie has all but got it down to a science which can be effective but she’d be incorrect to say it was without fault. 

» optimist or pessimist: neither term seems to describe the woman very well; she feels as though she’d call herself a realist. the world has let her down more times than she can count so she makes an effort to always adjust her expectations towards the most-likely event.

» phobias / fears: 

» problems: maggie was diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder and generalized anxiety disorder when she was sixteen. she goes through occasional bouts of depression but she doesn’t find it to be chronic. though undiagnosed, following the death of her parents, she experiences the effects of post-traumatic stress. 

– PERSONALITY – 

» goals / dreams: maggie has always wanted to improve the world around her. when she was a little girl, she told her parents that she wanted to be the first doctor to go to space. when she found out that she’d have to be in space for months at a time, she quickly changed her plans. the brain always fascinated her and so she dove headfirst into her newfound passion. following the deaths of her parents, maggie wanted to help others like she wished that she had been and so she, once more, switched gears and went into social work. 

» quirks / habits: maggie is a creature of habit. each morning, she wakes up and opens the curtains around the house before pouring herself a cup of cold brew coffee with cinnamon syrup and oat milk. she makes her bed and begins her day. when she gets home from work, she turns on her fairy lights and fans before removing her makeup and changing in to cozy clothes. as for quirks, maggie wouldn’t say she has any but her friends would be quick to point out her concentration face-- whenever she gets deep in to a hard task, her eyebrows screw up tightly and her lips purse. she doesn’t like to look in mirrors when the room is dark, she only gets out of bed on the left side, and she habitually sings in the shower even when she isn’t home alone.

» likes: precipitative weather like rain storms or snow ( especially thunderstorms ), vinyl records, lighting candles and allowing them to light the room, cooking or baking anything from scratch, old books with notes in the margin from an owner long forgotten, astronomy and any associated phenomena ( especially eclipses and meteor showers ), fleetwood mac and other classic rock icons, acts of service from loved ones, dogs with smushed faces, taylor swift, watching films (or rewatching films, whether new or old), freshly brewed tea, watching the sun set and staying awake to see it rise again, wisteria vines twisting around a fence, ‘casablanca’, f. scott fitzgerald novels, anything that is a dusty shade of sage green, tom hanks, vanilla bean ice cream (not french vanilla), using a polaroid camera to capture a moment, iced coffee with cinnamon, the beach during winter when the northern shores get a little bit icy, long drives at night with the windows down, sitting on the roof in a companionable silence with a loved one,  the color of deep maroon rust, cozy throw blankets and an unnecessary amount of pillows on the couch and bed

» dislikes: too much physical touch, indifference or apathy in the face of injustice, the deafening sound of crickets and cicadas at night, showing any signs of vulnerability, open-toed shoes, powdery or floral scents, olives, thin pillows, overhead lighting (lamps only, thank you very much), lack of a routine, being unable to read situations and prepare adequately, not feeling in control of any situation, harlequin novels, ladybugs and any other insects, disorganization (physically or emotionally.)

» flaws: she feels the need to always be the strong one that she often doesn’t allow herself the freedom to feel without pushing it down. she has a habit of not letting people in, especially people who are new to her, and even when she does, she is always terrified that she’ll lose them like she’s lost most other people that she loved. she is a control freak and can sometimes be a little boss.

– FAMILY – 

» parents:       ; phillip hugh hall ( father / pierce brosnan )      ; allison marie hall née clark ( mother / jamie lee curtis )    

» maternal grandparents:      ; richard ernest clark ( grandfather / tony curtis )   ��  ; virginia ruth clark née franklin ( grandmother / janet leigh )

» paternal grandparents:      ; hugh alexander hall ( grandfather / kris kristofferson )      ; marguerite joan hall née green ( grandmother / ellen burstyn )

» sibling(s): n/a

» children: n/a

– APPEARANCE – 

» height: five feet, two inches

» weight: one hundred fifteen pounds

» eyes: maggie’s eyes are one of her most striking features. the espresso brown orbs are speckled with golden flecks; they’re a rounded, almost almond shape.

» hair: her hair is chestnut brown and it has a tendency to gleam copper and slightly golden when the light reflects off of it. for the majority of her life, she had a tendency of keeping the gentle waves cropped into a side-parted, blunt bob that rested just above her shoulders. she typically wore her hair straight or blown out. following the snap, she allowed it to grow out beyond its typical length. she keeps it trimmed to just below her shoulder blades with a set of wispy curtain bangs to compliment the natural waves that she now maintains.

» face and complexion: maggie has a light skin tone that tans in the sun. she has no freckles on her face but has quite a few down her chest and arms; none of them are very dark. she has a round face which can almost be cherubic but as she’s gotten older, she has developed a sharp jawline that makes her look more mature despite her stature. her rounded almond eyes are lined with thick, dark lashes. she has a small button nose that pinches minutely at its tip as it turns slightly upwards. her brows are full and straight with only a slight arch. she has full cheeks with small dimples that frame her smile. maggie’s lips are typically tinted a red berry shade; her bottom lip is slightly more voluminous than its top counterpart which is home to a sharp cupid’s bow. 

» build: maggie is petite, to say the least. she stands just slightly over five feet tall and weighs just over one hundred pounds. though slim, her figure is a narrow hourglass. despite her size, she’s quite agile and strong. years of channeling all of her emotions in to ballet as a child caused a habit that has yet to die. when she feels the need to get rid of excess emotion, she runs or attends a fitness class to channel that away.  

» defining marks: when she was eighteen, maggie and her best friend poppy got matching tattoos. on the inside of her left wrist, there is a small crescent moon to match a sun on poppy’s. following her parents death, she got a second tattoo and on the inside of her upper arm, close to the crook of her elbow, there is one of two ravens perched on a branch. several months after the blip, she got another tattoo. on her right side, on her ribs under her bra-line, there’s a small star housed within four concentric circles. 

» dress style: maggie’s fashion sense is on the border between classic and trendy. she doesn’t stray too far away from her comfort zone or wear too many patterns. she tends to stick to jewel tones and neutrals. for her work, her style tends to be business casual-- typically a blouse with a skirt or wide legged trousers and a heel. when she’s at home, an oversized sweater and leggings or pajama shorts are her go-to uniform. if she’s out running errands, she loves a flowy skirt or a pair of mom jeans with one of her dad’s old, classic band tees. her shoes are typically a revolving door of plain keds or converse, ankle boots, or a small heel.

» faceclaim: jenna louise coleman

– ROMANTIC & SEXUAL – 

» marital status: she is unmarried.

» sexual preference: although maggie is primarily heterosexual, she’s never been closed off to the idea of dating anyone of the same gender if she found that she was attracted to them.

» ever had sex: she had sex for the first time when she was a freshman in college; it was with her boyfriend at the time, nicholas gray. as she’s gotten older, she has had a variety of companions-- some were romantic partners, several one-night-stands, and two attempted friends-with-benefits arrangements. 

» opinion on sex: maggie isn’t ashamed to say that she enjoys sex and the freeing feeling that comes with it. 

» opinion on relationships: although she likes the idea of a relationship, maggie’s fear of not being in control makes it difficult to maintain one. before the snap, she had only been in one long-term relationship which she abruptly ended after the death of her parents. she found that it was easier to try and turn off her feelings than to deal with them as everything in her life changed. since graduating with her second degree, maggie has been trying to open herself back up to dating and the possibility of a relationship.

» turn ons: the feeling of someone brushing her hair off of her face, being praised, bravery, kindness, interlacing fingers when holding hands, a genuine smile, sincerity, strong hands, bright eyes, taller men, a strong jawline, delicate kisses that gradually deepen into something more, kisses down the neck, deep conversations and debates, cologne that isn’t overpowering

» turn offs: sleazy behavior, apathy towards important issues, party-scene demeanor, bragging, lying, being late, ill-fitting clothes, lacking ambition or drive for moving forward

» past relationships:       ; nicholas gray ( first love / ben barnes )

» current relationship:      ; n/a 

» future relationship:       ; steve rogers ( tbd / chris evans )      ; bucky barnes ( tbd / sebastian stan )

– FRIENDSHIP – 

» big group of friends or several close friends: maggie would rather have a smaller quantity of people in her life with better quality relationships than to have a large group of friends that she feels as though she doesn’t know. 

» best friend: maggie was a relatively lonely child; she spent a lot of her time reading and imagining her life in other worlds. she had some friends but none that ever ventured further than the occasional hangout. when she was a freshman in highschool, she sat next to poppy stewart on their first day of orientation and the two have been inseparable ever since.  

» ever lied to a friend: she’s told white lies when necessary but she’s never lied about something earth-shattering.

» the most horrible thing they did to a friend: when maggie broke up with nicholas, she left him a letter on his pillow before she left his apartment one morning. she avoided his calls afterwards and didn’t speak to him for several weeks until he came to her apartment to try and work things out. later in her life, maggie felt extremely guilty that she wasn’t able to confide in poppy about steve’s plan until after he had already left.

» list of friends -      ; poppy stewart ( best friend / annie murphy / @petalsofpoppys )      ; pepper potts ( boss, friend / gwenyth paltrow )      ; tony stark ( boss, family friend / robert downey jr )      ; natasha romanoff ( co-worker, close friend / scarlett johansson )      ; steve rogers ( co-worker, friend, boyfriend / chris evans )      ; bucky barnes ( friend, lover, boyfriend / sebastian stan )      ; sam wilson ( friend / anthony mackie )      ; wanda maximoff ( future friend / elizabeth olsen )      ; monica rambeau ( future friend / teyonah parris )

– MORALITY – 

» ever been drunk: the first time that maggie got drunk was her senior year of high school; she was at a house party with poppy and she since vowed to never touch any drink with ‘punch’ in the name, ever again.

» lied to a significant other: following the death of her parents, maggie never disclosed her tumultuous emotions to nicholas and so he was blindsided when she left him on one random morning. with an apologetic  note of a goodbye, maggie made sure no trace was left behind when she slipped from the apartment in to the warm summer breeze.

» cheated on significant other: maggie would never cheat on a partner. she would rather end things than break someone’s trust in her.

» gotten into a fight: she’s never gotten in to a physical altercation but following her move in to the avenger’s compound, natasha and steve helped to train her tactically. after she moved back to the city, bucky takes up the position of being her trainer. 

» deepest regret: not telling her parents how much she looked up to both of them before they died. 

» religion: maggie was not raised to be religious. her parents always emphasized the importance of trying to be morally good whenever you could. she identifies as an atheist.

– MISCELLANEOUS – 

» playlist: https://rb.gy/kxqfbu

» instagram:

» gifboard:

» character inspiration: leia organa (star wars trilogy), alex parrish (quantico), emma swan (once upon a time), amy pond (doctor who), buffy summers (buffy the vampire slayer), emily prentiss (criminal minds), lily evans (harry potter)

[thegreatmercutio]

It’s Star Wars Day...so I thought, I’ll do a random rant reflections:

I wonder how much time has past? As you can see, he has his Sith iconic lightsaber. In which, if you read comics...depending which comic...he had to hunt down a Jedi, killed the Jedi, take his saber, take the crystal...and then he has to make it bleed...turning it red, Sith red.

These are the early days...when there are still “traces” of Anakin lingering in him. However, in my perspective, Anakin was always there, just hidden away behind the persona of Vader.

Depending if you want this, canon or legend...which to me is very disrespectful to just disregard years of comics and novels written by multiple writers with the approval of George Lucas...just because Disney has their own agenda...but whatever. That’s me. I personally, treated every thing that was officially released as canon. Disney doesn’t own my “point of view.”

What’s so interesting and very heartbreaking...is during the early years of Vader...which I really wanna see either in films or a live series (like The Mandalorian) or a movie...was his desire to resurrect Padme.

If you played the game, Vader: Immortal...in the game he tried to bring back Padme from the dead...by literally draining the life forces from all the living beings on the entire planet (there’s lore to it, Vader did his research...it’s fascinating, look it up) and he was willing to kill off more beings if needed. Also in the comics, he built his Vader’s Castle (the one you see in Rogue One and Lego’s) was to create a portal to the afterworld...so he can bring back Padme. And the thing is...to get to her, he had to kill every Jedi he has killed and any important figures (such as Yoda) and also re-live the key moments in his life—both the good and bad, both still hurts (and haunts) him. It’s really dark. It’s just rage, anger, pain, and death.

While all this is going on...he’s hunting down the Jedi’s and taking control of the galaxy for The Empire. And the one that’s on top of his kill list is sadly Obi-Wan. He blamed Obi-Wan for everything. He also blamed and hated Palpatine. Plotting constantly on how he could kill him. That’s the way of the Sith. You kill your masters.

The thing is...which poetic and tragic...was all he every wanted was Padme and his child. He just wanted her back. He turned to the dark side to save her. He sold his soul to protect her. And yes, he also wanted power, but power of the force. He has no interest in being an emperor. Honestly, in a dream he had while he was Vader...Padme was the supreme Chancellor...that’s what I believed he wanted, kill off Palpatine and give the Empire to Padme and he will be her reinforcement.

He really loves her. Love can make you very foolish, desperate, vulnerable,...and dangerous. He really means it, he can’t live without her. As Vader, he was constantly in pain (physically and emotionally) and enslaved and abused by Palpatine. It wasn’t really a life. Very depressing. He was more machine than human.

However, the tragic is...even though it hurt him, losing her and ‘constantly’ being haunted by her...gave him pain and the pain made him...more powerful as a Sith.

In honestly, he could have killed Palpatine so many times...but even so, he had nothing to live for...so like a machine, he just live on autopilot. Doing what he was made to do, but these early years...there was still hope and determination in Vader...very dark and Sith inspired determinations. And he also took in an apprentice, Starkiller...training him to one day, help Vader kill Palpatine. Look at all these potential plots.

For me, Vader would be a great new path. I know, some people don’t want it. Want him to stay kind of a mystery...but he really isn’t. He’s in 6 films and his present echoes in the 3 sequels, especially in Ben Solo/Kylo Ren. And those 20 years in between Revenge of the Sith to the New Hope are already told in the novels and the comics.

All these is a making of a potentially very good series or movie. These so much more we can do. Just hopefully, it will be done right.

...the one he sees Padme. I love it. He has been destroying and killing everything in his path...in his reality and in this dimension...yet the moment, he sees her...he’s Anakin again. He’s gentle, hopeful, and loving. He said this to her, “I can save you, I can save US both.” I interpreted it, by saving her...he will be saved too. He needs her. She has always been his anchor. Without her, the storm will consume him more. Of course, later...he is saved by his son. And in the one of the novel The Rise and Fall of Darth Vader, as Palpatine is killing Luke, while he’s watching it...he thinks of her...his thoughts were Luke is my son and Padme’s son.

Padme’s Son. In a Korean Web comic, retelling...the Return of the Jedi. As Anakin is dying, he thinks of her.

Side note, one of things I dislike about the sequels...is lack of any acknowledgement to Padme. Between Luke or Leia.

And sad thing is, no one ever really knew why Anakin turned.