#but i AM gonna be watching that trailer with a discerning eye

[miseries-mistress]

Our Forever | Eddie Munson X Reader

Synopsis: Okay, so personally, I don't celebrate the Fourth of July, but it's the 80s in Indiana, so enjoy watching fireworks with Eddie on top of his trailer

No Warnings

Gender not specified

Word Count: 1534

Genre: fluff

One of the things you loved most about staying at Eddie's trailer house was his bedroom. Nearly every wall was covered with rock posters, accompanied by the scent of weed and air freshener hanging in the air. He had clothes thrown on the floor, with the bedsheets scattered haphazardly across his bed. His room was disorganized, but it was your safe haven. It was your way to remove yourself from the real world and immerse yourself in the fantasy of living a conventional life. Eddie knew this and made it a point to invite you over almost every day after school, and today was no different. 

You flipped through one of his Guns N' Roses magazines while waiting for him to return with food. What was different about today was the fact that it was the Fourth of July. Typically, you would attend with your parents and younger siblings to witness the fireworks. However, this year, you and Eddie were going to watch them from on top of his trailer. 

The sun had already set, leaving the sky dark and the stars peeking through the cover of the clouds. There were a couple of faint popping sounds from fireworks, but what you were waiting for was the big show. Every year, Hawkins sets up a spot for families and friends to witness the magic of fireworks. Since Eddie lives so close to that sight, you two will watch them from his trailer instead of having to sit around other people with their crying kids. 

The doorknob to the trailer rattles, and the door opens, creaking on its hinges. 

"I come bearing gifts!" Eddie yells, and you bite your lip to contain your smile. Butterflies take flight around your stomach, and you can't seem to wipe the stupid grin from your face. You hear him set down the food on the counter; he's humming some tune under his breath as he pushes the door to his bedroom open, where you are lying peacefully. Your feet rest against his headboard, your head at the end of the bed as you throw down the magazine. His smile broadens when your eyes meet. "Why hello, sweetheart."

You cover your mouth to contain your giggles as he kicks his clothes on the floor, which were almost all of the black variety. Once he clears a path to the bed, he wanders over and presses a kiss on your forehead. Then, he straightens himself back up and continues to look down. 

You giggle. "You're upside down."

"I bet I am. But, c'mon, we don't want to miss the fireworks." Eddie holds his hand out for you to clasp. 

"Maybe I want to miss it. We could finally use those handcuffs you have," you say, smirking while gesturing to the handcuffs Eddie has on display. His pupils dilate, and you can barely discern the faintest pink blush on his cheeks. His surprised expression is replaced with a cocky smirk as he leans in, close enough for his hair to tickle your face. "Some other time, sweetheart, but I love the attitude." 

He presses a light kiss to your lips before leaning back up, offering his hand once more. "Come here. The food is gonna get cold."

You groan and grab his hand. He drags you off the bed and onto your feet. You stumble forward once your feet leave the bed, and he grasps your hips to help steady you. You turn back, and you catch his gaze. His eyes flicker from your lips to your irises, and in the faint light, you can see his pupils blown wide as he stares at you with a mixture of lust and adoration. He wastes no time pulling you into a kiss.

His lips entwine fervently and forcefully with yours. After taking a second to get over your shock, you melted into him, kissing him back just as ardently. You twist your torso so your chests are flush with each other, and you thread your fingers through the mountain of Eddie's hair, pulling his head toward you. His grip on your waist tightens as his lips descend onto yours with wicked desperation, knocking out his senses. His heart pounds against his rib cage, so loud, he's afraid you could hear it while his head is left reeling. 

All too soon, you pull away for air. You gasped for breath while placing your head on his shoulder, your body filled with a newfound heat. Eddie's arms enveloped you in a hug, his hands rubbing comforting circles across your back. You inhale his scent of weed and whatever deodorant he uses. The smell is simple but incredibly comforting.

"I don't know about you, but I don't like eating cold food," Eddie says matter-of-factly. You chuckle and pull away. You watch how his beautiful brown irises are stuck on you, observing you in silence.

He presses a chaste kiss to your forehead before his arms untangle from around your waist, and he heads out the door. You follow behind him as he grabs the blanket you had set out prior and the food. Finally, you open the door for him and follow him outside. It's comfortable for a night in July, with a slight, almost unnoticeable breeze. 

Eddie hands you the blanket, and he climbs the ladder attached to his trailer, taking the food with him. Once you can't see him anymore, you begin your climb. The rungs are slightly warm and slippery as you ascend.

Just as you approach the top, Eddie peeks out, gently taking the blanket from your clutches and setting it to the side. There is about a foot difference between where the ladder ends and the roof, so Eddie offers his hand once more, and you seize it. His cold metal rings are a sharp contrast to your warm hand as he helps you on top of the trailer.

You lay the blanket on the rough metal and sit down, turning your backs to the rest of the neighborhood. From this height, you can see the vast expanse of dark trees and the twinkling lights of Hawkins. 

Eddie takes your food out from the bag and offers it to you. You try to grab it, but at the last second, he pulls his hand back, a mischievous smile spreading across his face. 

"Ah, ah, ah. What's the magic word?" You stare at Eddie, dumbfounded, examining him up and down. His smile only enlarges at your astonished expression. You open your mouth and close it a second later. You make a sudden grab for your food, but he pulls his back, his eyes glistening with amusement. 

"Munson, I swear to God-" You grab for it again, but you're out of reach. 

"I don't believe that's the magic word," he quips. You glare at him, and he licks his lips before raising an eyebrow. "C'mon, sweetheart, don't you want to eat before your food gets cold?"

You let out a long, dejected sigh, amazed but not surprised at your boyfriend. "Please?"

If possible, his smile enlarges, his face crinkling with its force. "See? Was that so hard?"

He brings your food closer, and you snatch it out of its hand, raising your middle finger before opening the box. Eddie gasps, his hands flying to his chest in mock offense. 

"My fair lady would exhibit such a crude gesture to me? I can't believe it! I might die of shock!" Eddie gasps, his arms flying out with his theatrics. You laugh, like genuinely laugh, and Eddie can't help but marvel at how beautiful it sounds. He can't seem to lift his eyes away from you as you close your eyes and shake your head, your body still trembling with laughter.

Only when you start eating does he remember that he has food too and needs to eat. So you spend the rest of your lukewarm meal talking and laughing between bites.

Before you know it, flashes of color light up the night sky. Your empty food containers are set over to the side, and you watch in awe as the fireworks explode, leaving brilliant colors flashing across the night sky.

There were more popping sounds, reminiscent of a gunshot, before more crack in the air, releasing the spectacular display of light to dance across the atmosphere.

Eddie glimpsed at you and marveled at how your eyes reflected the glow of the fireworks, your face illuminated by the luminous colors. He forced himself to look up to enjoy the fireworks, but with you next to him, that proved to be a daunting task.  

As the flashes of color seemed to never cease, you leaned your head on Eddie's shoulder. The rough material of his jean jacket didn't bother you, nor when he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you to his side. You stayed there until the world became quiet again, wrapped up in your piece of forever.

[eatyergreans]

like optimistically hopeful for the trailer tmrw but like... the fact that they “collabed” with a bunch white of simbtubers on a pack that seemingly has east-asian inspiration vibes ... hm

[shiredded]

A white animation student’s take on Soul and POC cartoons

This got long but there’s lots of pretty pictures to go with it.

Hi, I’m Shire and I’m as white as a ripped-off Pegasus prancing on a stolen van. Feel free to add to my post, especially if you are poc. The next generation of animators needs your voice now more than ever.

My opinion doesn’t matter as much here because I’m not part of the people being represented. 

But I am part of the people to whom this film is marketed, and as the market, I think I should be Very Aware of what media does to me. 

And as the future of animation, I need to do something with what I know.

I am very white. I have blue eyes and long blond hair. I’ve seen countless protagonists, love interests, moms, and daughters that look like me. If I saw an animated character that looks like me turn into a creature for the majority of a movie, I would cheer. Bring it on! I have plenty of other representation that tells me I’m great just the way I am, and I don’t need to change to be likable. 

The moment Soul’s premise was released, many people of color expressed mistrust and disappointment on social media. Let me catch you up on the plot according to the new (march 2020) trailer. (It’s one of those dumb modern trailers that tells you the entire plot of the movie including the climax; so I recommend only watching half of it)

Our protagonist, Joe Gardner, has a rich (not in the monetary sense) and beautiful life. He has dreams! He wants to join a jazz band! So far his life looks, to me, comforting, amazing, heartfelt, and real. I’m excited to learn about his family and his music. 

Some Whoknowswhat happens, and he enters a dimension where everyone, himself included, is represented by glowing, blue, vaguely humanoid creatures. They’re adorable! But they sure as heck aren’t brown. The most common response seems to be dread at the idea of the brown human protagonist spending the majority of his screen time as a not-brown, not-human creature. 

The latest trailer definitely makes that look pretty darn true. He does spend most of the narrative - chronologically - as a blob. 

but

That isn’t the same as his screen time. 

From the look of the trailer, Joe and his not-yet-born-but-already-tired-of-life soul companion tour Joe’s story in all of its brown-skinned, human-shaped, life-loving glory. The movie is about life, not about magic beans that sing and dance about burping (though I won’t be surprised if that happens too.)

Basically! My conclusion is “it’s not as bad as it looked at first, and it looks like a wonderful story.”

but

That doesn’t mean it’s ok. 

Yes, Soul is probably going to be a really important and heartfelt story about life, the goods, the bads, the dreams, and the bonds. That story uses a fun medium to view that life; using bright, candy-bowl colors and a made-up world to draw kids in with their parents trailing behind. 

It’s a great story and there’s no reason to not create a black man for the lead role. There’s no reason not to give this story to people of color. It’s not a white story. This is great!

Except...

we’ve kind of

done this

a lot

The Book of Life and Coco also trade in their brown-skinned cast for a no-skinned cast, but I don’t know enough about Mexican culture to say those are bad and I haven't picked up on much pushback to those. There’s more nuance there, I think. 

I cut the above pics together to show how the entire ensemble changes along with the protagonist. We can lose entire casts of poc. Emperor's New Groove keeps its cast as mostly human so at least we have Pacha

And while the animals they interact with might be poc-coded, there’s nothing very special or affirming about “animals of color.” 

So, Soul.

Are we looking at the same thing here?

It’s no secret by now that this is an emerging pattern in animation. But not all poc-starring animated films have this same problem. We have Moana! With deuteragonists (basically co-protagonists) of color, heck yeah.

 Aladdin... Pocahontas... The respect those films have for their depicted culture is... an essay for another time. Mulan fits here too. the titular characters’ costars are either white, or blue, and/or straight up animals. But hey, they don’t turn into animals, and neither do the supporting cast/love interests.

Dreamworks’ Home (2015) is also worth mentioning as a poc-led film where the  deuteragonist is kind of a purple blob. But the thing I like a lot about Home is that it’s A Nice Story, where there’s no reason for the protagonist to not be poc, so she is poc. Spiderverse has a black lead with a white (or masked, or animal) supporting cast. But, spiderverse also has Miles’ dad, mom, uncle, and Penny Parker.

I’d like to see more of that.

And less of this

if you’re still having trouble seeing why this is a big deal, let’s try a little what-if scenario. 

This goes out to my fellow white girls (including LGBTA white girls, we are not immune to propaganda racism)

imagine for a second you live in a world where animation is dominated to the point of almost total saturation by protagonist after protagonist who are boys/men. You do get the occasional woman-led film, but maybe pretend that 30 to 40 percent of those films are like

(We’re pretending for a second that Queen Eleanor was the protagonist, because I couldn’t think of any animated movies where the white lady protagonist turns into and stays an animal for the majority of the film)

Or, white boys and men, how would you feel if your most popular and marketable representation was this?

Speaking of gender representation, binary trans and especially nonbinary trans people are hard pressed to find representation of who they are without the added twist of Lizard tails or horns and the hand-waving explanation of “this species doesn’t do gender” But again, that’s a different essay.

Let’s look at what we do have. In reality, we (white people) have so much representation that having a fun twist where we spend most of the movie seeing that person in glimpses between colorful, glittering felt characters that reflect our inner selves is ok. 

Wait, that aesthetic sounds kind of familiar...

But I digress. Inside Out was a successful and honestly helpful and important movie.  I have no doubt in my mind that Soul will meet and surpass it in quality and and in message. 

There is nothing wrong with turning your protagonist of color into an animal or blob for most of their own movie. 

But it’s part of a larger pattern, and that pattern tells people of color that their skin would be more fun if it was blue, or hairy, or slimy, or something. It’s fine to have films like that because heck yeah it would be fun to be a llama. But it’s also fun to not be a llama. It’s fun to be a human. It’s fun to be yourself. I don’t think children of color are told that enough. 

At least, not by mainstream studios. (The Breadwinner, produced by Cartoon Saloon)

It’s not like all these mainstream poc movies are the result of racist white producers who want us to equate people of color with animals. In fact, most of those movies these days have people of color very high up, as directors, writers, or at the very least, a pool of consultants of color.

These movies aren’t evil. They aren’t even that intrinsically racist (Pocahontas can go take a hike and rethink its life, but we knew that.) It’s that we need more than just the shape-shifting narratives of our non-white protagonists. 

It’s not like there isn’t an enormous pool of ideas, talent, visions and scripts already written and waiting to be produced. There is.

But they somehow don’t make it past the head executives, way above any creative team, who make the decisions, aiming not for top-of-the-line stories, but for the Bottom line of sales.

When Disney acquired Pixar, their main takeover was in the merchandising department. The main target for their merchandise are, honestly, white children.

So is it much of a surprise

that they are more often greenlighting things palatable for as many “discerning” mothers as possible?

I saw just as many Tiana dolls as frog toys on the front page of google, so don’t worry too much about The Princess And The Frog. Kids love her. But I didn’t find any human figures of Kenai from Brother Bear, except for dolls wearing a bear suit. 

So. What do I think of Soul? 

I think it’s going to be beautiful. I think it’s going to be a great movie.

But I also think people of color deserve more. 

Let’s take one more look at the top people who went into making this movie.

Of the six people listed here, five are white. Kemp Powers, one of the screenplay writers, is black. 

It’s cool to see women reaching power within the animation industry, but this post isn’t about us.

We need to replace the top execs and get more projects greenlit that send the message that african, asian, latinix, middle eastern, and every other non-white ethnicity is perfect and relatable as the humans they were meant to be. 

Disney is big enough that they can - and therefore should - take risks and produce movies that aren’t as “marketable” simply because art needs to be made. People need to be loved.

Come on, millennials and Gen Z. We can do better.

We Will do better.

TLDR: A lot of mainstream animation turns its protagonists of color into animals or other creatures. I (white) don’t think that’s a bad thing, except for the fact that we don’t get enough poc movies that AREN’T weird. Support Soul; it’s not going to be as bad as you think. It’s probably gonna be really good. Let’s make more good movies about people of color that stay PEOPLE of color.

[stargleeksil-blog]

Criminal Minds s01e18 Somebody’s Watching review

Episode 18 – Somebody’s Watching

Hey guys! So this episode’s name is seriously freaking me out. It’s like I Know What You Did Last Summer, only in a TV show. Oh god.

Let’s get started.

So that music totally reminds me of Bruno Mars, except that it’s 2005, so it’s way too early. Lol.

Whooo! Hollywood!

Diane Arbus: “A photograph is a secret about a secret. The more it tells you, the less you know.” Talk about being cryptic, Diane.

Oh! Gideon and Spencer are at an art gallery in Hollywood? Fancy, dudes.

And Spencer knows the owner of the gallery? Nice.

Ok, that blonde looks important.

“Do I look twelve years old to you?” “Fourteen.” That’s just mean, Gideon.

Lila. She’s hot.

Oh my god, I love mumbling Spencer! He’s the cutest ever! Oh my goodness.

Wow, that girl who came in with Lila is definitely direct. Is she into Gideon?

“If I weren’t a lesbian, I’d jump your bones. I’ve always had this thing for middle-aged men, and you have these piercing, discerning eyes which remind me of my father …” oh god that girl is a hot mess. Damn.

He’s so cute! He’s flirting! Don’t interrupt him, Gideon, murder isn’t going anywhere.

Oh, they’re giving a profiling conference. Cute.

Ok, that is a total cougar, I’m not realy into that terminology, but she is. And as soon as you see a guy with a helmet that you can’t see his face through standing at your door, you have to ask them to take it off or else screw off, cuz that is seriously messed up.

It’s so obvious that person killed that Natalie chick.

Wait, that person also killed the young boyfriend? Damn.

Damn it, when are they making Kirsten a regular? Ugh.

Wait, she was considered a young actress? Oh god. She looks so old! Now I feel old! And that was her fiancé, damn.

So they’re going to hang out in LA for a while, cute.

Type 4 assassin, it’s crazy there are at least 4 types of that …

And now a talent agent is coming in to see the leading detective? This can’t be good.

His client received a threatening note with a picture of the actress that says ‘YOU OWE ME’ that is seriously creepy.

And of course that client is Lila. Of course.

So the producer that was murdered cast the actress who was murdered? The murderer is killing off her competition in the business? Oh god.

On the seventh of each month flowers appear in her trailer. Like that isn’t suspicious at all. God she is dumb sometimes.

Chloe Harris looked really like her and she was murdered too? Oh god that is messed up in every way possible.

I totally get her being creeped out.

Yeah, that didn’t help Spencer! You need to tone down the facts, just tell her something comforting. Oh god.

Compound killer. Sounds awful.

So her agent wants her to be more careful, I get it. But she needs to work to make money, and I get that too.

He’s really odd, he’s seriously weirding me out. But he’s cute.

Wait, so the unsub knows she went to the police? Oh boy.

And she still thinks she’s better off staying at work? Oh god.

Oh my god, Spencer pointedly looking away when she takes off that robe to reveal her bikini is the cutest thing ever!!!!!!! I love Matthew so much.

Oh god, Derek teasing Spencer over sharing his Coke bottle with Lila. Oh my god this is beyond precious. I love this show so fucking much, and I know, my rants are like 90% fawning over the characters, but I can’t help it!

Wait crap. They killed her manager. Fuck.

Aw Gideon is telling Spencer to lie to Lila about Michael? Damn. This is gonna be tough on him.

So they had naked pictures of Lila on Michael’s desk and he was keeping it from the press. He’s a good manager.

So I’m never calling a 1-800 number ever again! Did you know they keep your info for telemarketers? Fuck. I’m never doing that. Thank you, Spencer.

And Lila, he isn’t depressing, he’s a vast barrel of knowledge and you need to learn from him and just attack that pretty mouth.

Can I ask? How can you be allergic to dogs? I’m seriously curious about that one, because dogs are like magic beings in this world who would love you no matter what if you’re kind to them when they’re young and I love the fuck out of those animals, well, I also love deer, and elephants … but I digress …

That Martinez fuck is creeping me out. How does he have Lila’s shooting schedule? That’s fucked up.

Oh fuck. That fucker has pictures of Reid. Oh no.

Oh shit! That motorcycle fuck just shot at my baby Morgan and hit Detective Kim. Damn.

Wait. Wasn’t she supposed to be in the house at all times? Why is she going out for a swim in the pool? Oh boy.

And that fucker in the bushes better not be in the unsub. God.

Oh god, Spencer’s ‘this is ridiculous, you’re ridiculous’ voice is the sweetest thing and pitchy as hell.

“I’ve known you 48 hours, I feel like I’ve aged ten years.” Oh honey, you stress too much.

Oh god, it was so obvious she was going to pull him into the pool. Hahahaha oh my god I am dying over here. This is one funny episode, putting aside the murder aspect, of course.

Oh fuck. They are making out. Oh god, watching Spencer kiss is hot as fuck.

Look, don’t be mad at my baby, ok, Lila? Michael is dead, but Gideon made him not tell you. Don’t be mad at my baby.

Ha! Morgan has his gun at the back of Martinez’s head, he deserves that.

“Shut up with the whoa,” yup, you better listen to Morgan.

Hahahah now Spencer gets to destroy the photos. I love you, Elle.

Oh my god, Spencer in a hoodie shouldn’t be turning me on.

Thank you Gideon, thank you for taking Spencer off the hook. Love you.

Why is Spencer looking at the picture like a nutter? Is that a puzzle? Oh god, I love you, you brilliant cupcake.

Parker Dunley gave her that photo? The guy Spencer went to high school with? Oh god.

Wait. Maggie? The girl who gave Lila that creepy note on the show? Oh god.

God, Maggie looks messed up as fuck.

“Miracle of Quantico, speak if you deign hear truth.” Hello my little precious goddess, I love you beyond measure.

So let me get this straight. This girl was in love with Lila since they had to cuddle up and make out in their apartment at college when the heat was out and they had to warm up to stay alive. Okay… so does that mean she had to kill everyone?

Also, does she have a key to Lila’s house? Oh my god.

Spencer with a gun shouldn’t be hot.

But it is.

Fuck. Maggie is putting the gun to Lila’s head. Damn.

Oh damn, Spencer just totally agitated her by telling her he and Lila kissed and she was just totally flipping out, and then Spencer fucking disarmed Maggie and is now pointing her own gun at her? Oh god, I love you Spencer Reid.

She wants to die? God, Maggie is delusional beyond anything ever.

Wait. Her mom is setting up an interview about Maggie? Oh god. That is messed up.

And Morgan’s hips are like magnets to the erogenous part of my brain. Yummy.

Awwwww!!!!! They’re so cute together! I hope something comes out of this.

Bernard Shaw: “An American has no sense of privacy. He does not know what it means. There is no such thing in the country.” That is the truest sentence I’ve ever heard uttered. Fuck!

Oh god, Morgan teasing Reid about Lila is just precious, yet also kind of mean. Come on, man! I know you’re just messing with him, but give the kid a break.

Aw, Morgan glorifying Reid’s actions is the cutest thing ever. I love you, Derek.

“There are some things you can’t control even with that big ol’ brain of yours.” Aw, sweetness.

Wait, is Reid calling Morgan a player?

But I have to say Derek is the cutest thing ever, even when he’s just being a guy.

Aw, Reid just put the magazine in his drawer. You’re the cutest puppy ever.

 Ok, so this episode was a bunch of mixed stuff and I loved it from start to finish. Really light on Derek and Penelope, but it was ok, cuz we got to see some Spencer making out and that was worth everything, am I right? Overall, loved it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I also just noticed that Hotchner wasn’t here. That was weird.

Can’t wait for the next one. Toodles, lovelies!

[canislopez-blog]

There's a band your sister got me into called Brand New.  Fell for them real fucking hard.  They have a song called The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot and it starts off "if it makes you less sad I will die by your hand.  I hope you find out what you want, I already know what I am.  And if it makes you less sad we'll start talking again, you can tell me how vile I already know that I am." so, good time happy songs.  Of course.  I'm a fan.

So I woke up from a dream of you and I.  Like a 70s teen buddy comedy, you just got the family trash car, not the mean green machine hidden in the tall grass like a ratatata, but something a bit shorter, narrower, yellower.  You being the driver you are didn't want to die alone and asked if I wanted to go on a ride with you.  Me being the supportive guy that I am was happy to die by your side, so I met up with you by your place, you drove a few blocks and picked me up and we intended to go to McDonalds.  

So we're up on Federal, but you, instead of just going straight four blocks made a weird turn, so weird, in fact, that we were in the back streets, almost like a park, almost like a fucking trash lot, a bit off from a trailer park.  You came to a stop in front of the side panel of a fuck-van.  I mean, it was one of those 70s vans that had windows for the driver, passenger, and windshield and aside that, you were fucked if you wanted air.  Nice.  Again, this wasn't particularly your intention, the car was kind of fucked, so you were getting us off the road to turn it off before it exploded, however we were witness to another type of explosion.

The side door of the van was pulled back, exposing the interior of two bears fucking.  "well, I mean he took us off road to some weird fucking lot, I can't say I'm that surprised to see two ursines mating" but they looked a liiiittle off.  The fur on the hair was cell-shaded like Handsome Jack to the point that I stared and stared and stared.  I mean, it was a furry bear on a furry bear, there's not much indecent in the act of staring.  It wasn't much different from watching a carpet rub against a carpet.  Though the more I tried to discern what I was looking at, found 'furry' didn't just mean the quality of their coats.  Guess it was a dude in a fursuit with his human penis outside of it in a human woman's vagina, through an expertly placed hole in her fursuit.  

Lying atop them, somewhat, was a young woman in tight pale yellow spandex with a Luna Lovegood quality Lion head atop hers, no more than 17, getting fucked by a dude in his early 20s similarly dressed as another unconvincing spandex lion.  Meaning they had nothing on the bears who made me think were actually bears under her.  There were hard nipples beneath her spandex skin, but that was the only thing truly ‘erotic’ about the sight before us, before the veil of grey smoke rising from the hood, was just the lusty gyrations.  No nudity, mostly confusion.  Interesting.  

Which is kind of my level of intimacy.  "I'm curious what's going on under those clothes.  Not really interested in putting it in you, but I'd just like to see what you're working with.  Ah.  Thanks, now I have another body in my biological library to compare with the next person I see's flesh in the flesh.  Beat off later?  I dunno, probably not, no offense, you've got a great body but like I said, just curious what you've got.  See you monday, sis."

So I was a bit curious with the lioness.  I mean the bears were just beyond comprehension, desire, they were figuratively two creatures devoid of humanity, coulda been two dudes, two women, anything, but she was definitely desirable.  So you and I strip the car a bit and essentially make a go-cart of it, you've got a strong desire to avoid getting behind the wheel again, so I get on it and, having drove less than you, to whit, not at all, I drive down to McDonalds to get us something to eat while you stayed behind to scout out someplace to do so in our little lot.  I show back up and you've found us a hovel; a 3 bedroom 2 bath hovel, but a home out of  Fallout no matter the size of it.  So we see the teen girl, who's actually happy, a happy person?  They're not just in fantasy?  Well this was all but a dream.  She sits with us, eats some fries and we talk for a while.

Then we talk a bit longer.  It was a lot of good stuff.  Me with my pretentious false street philosopher hat on, you a bit wife of 60 years, too used to her old-ass husband's erratic behaviour style.  So she asked if we were a thing, of course we weren't.  "I mean I’d fuck around with guys, but he's my brother" got us all talking a bit more.  Girl started crying, like, just so happy, so angry, so sad, all the emotions were rolling off her in waves, all this time I was bloviating, trying to 'have a turn' with her, as she seemed to be a fan of getting stuffed, but there I was, taking a shot and jumping in front of it, all "it's okay to love sex, it's great to love sex, but just because you love something doesn't mean you shouldn't be a bit discriminate, to make sure you spend your time with someone you want to spend your time with, not just with any guy who asks if you want to fuck", she told us her lion boy was something she'd regret if she was old enough to regret her actions, and she was a bit flirty with both of us.  I held her while she cried and she said she was tired and wanted to go to bed, one of the makeshift beds and couches in this non-radiated but equally grimy house.

So she left us, you were kind of down, not enjoying watching anyone cry when there's some bitterness in it, and I was a bit down, realizing I wasn't gonna fuck this gal who literally said she'd fuck anyone.  Of course I'd tell her to be discriminate when it was my turn to get my dick wet.  So I went to bed, wanting to pick the one with her to spoon her, but I'm a good guy and chose against it.  Just a pile of clothes on the ground while you staked a couch.  I heard her squeak out of bed and I think she joined the nice quiet guy on the couch for a while, but it wasn't something I was eager to open my eyes to find out, so I kept them shut and tried to get back to sleep.  Fortunately that wasn't as big a problem as I worried it would be because the next thing I know 38 year old asshole woke up in his shitty room on his shitty bed and figured he'd be better off getting up than trying to slide back into that dream.  

Well, first I woke in the dream to see you at the table reading a paper with a cup of trash coffee, girl was gone, you saw her off but the two of you didn't want to wake me to say goodbye, so you gave it to me for her.  She said she was going to take my advice and avoid bad situations as often as she could, gave me thanks and such.  Not that thanks was what I wanted, but, you can't bitch when you try to make someone's life better and then they find that better doesn't include you.  So I got up and joined you, Joe showed up with a tow truck shortly after to take us and your car bits home to put back together and make more dependable than a one mile machine.  

So I woke at 8, which always makes my stomach ache all day long, stress conditioned my body to hate existing when I wake before 9.  So that deep gut ache is mixed with a tingling of regret of another chance I ruined for myself when I was young enough that I shouldn't have cared about anything but a gluttonous hedonism.  I mean, given youth, given the free reign of dream, I'm still too repressed.  I wish I wasn't expecting mail, this is the kind of day that's tempting to sleep through 'til 4:30 when I jump into the shower and hopefully dry off before you two show up, regretting that I did nothing to make the house look like it's a place someone lives in instead of exists with little cares in.