#but i REALLY don't like crowds and there's no guarantee ill have a good experience with the other many people there

[eccentricwearsgoggles]

between seeing one of my faves in concert or going camping, i think the answer is clear lol

[swampgallows]

hello! ive been curious about going to a rave - some time in the nebulous future, as it's not something that's feasible for me rn + covid - but i do use a cane. do you have any thoughts about if that would impact a rave experience a lot? + if it's not too invasive, do you have any thoughts about raving while disabled/disability and the rave scene in general? thank you, and have a good day!!

this is long, but hopefully informative!

raving with mobility aids is definitely a thing!! one of the longtime DJs in the soCal scene, DJ Alexander, was the first cane user i thought of: he also throws events with Technostate in addition to playing at them. i also know some candy kids who are wheelchair and cane users, and i've seen occasional crutches and boot casts. i also know neurodiverse ravers who have sensory sensitivities, ravers with invisible illnesses that need accommodation, and ravers with mental illness such as myself. for any kind of disability i'd say it really depends on the venue. in my "going raving alone" post i mention gauging your own comfort level and preparing accordingly, and a lot of times that boils down to the location.

underground raves happen in cool but sometimes inaccessible areas. outdoor parties can happen in forests, open fields, mountains, beaches, deserts, and even on top of a dried up dam. indoor venues can be places intended for music events, like concert/banquet halls, elks lodges, galleries/studios, arenas, convention halls, and bars/clubs, but underground events can be in trickier places like airplane hangars, old warehouses/factories/stores (god i wish i had pics of the rave inside the abandoned mall), industrial district apartments, trainyards, or even under a freeway overpass.

i'm including my old posts partially as a trip down memory lane but also so you can see the variations in space, crowdedness, ventilation, lighting, etc. the following is a quick n dirty list of how things usually go, but are not necessarily guaranteed:

outdoor events -- pros: lots of space, (people won't trip over your cane or knock you over); open air ventilation; you can bring whatever you like (food, drinks, chairs, even a tent); the music is loud enough to hear from a good distance away, so you don't have to be crowded by the speakers; no rules for when you arrive or leave; earplugs always recommended but not required if far enough away. neutral: sometimes outdoor parties are multi-day events. plan beforehand for how long you will want to stay and what supplies you will need. cons: ground could be uneven; chance of wild animals/bugs; no bathrooms; VERY little lighting (sometimes none at all); subject to weather changes; anything you need you have to bring with you; car required.

indoor events -- pros: bar or access to drinks/water and snacks; atmospheric (but dependable) lighting; house sound; accessible via transit in the city; "repeat" venues lead to familiarity with the venue itself and the surrounding area so you know what to expect. neutral: there are bathrooms. sometimes they are indoors with running water, and sometimes they are port-o-potties. cons: stairs only; hundreds of people in a limited space can lead to crowding; "no ins-and-outs" = people tightly packed inside; amateur sound and/or lighting rigs might be overstimulating or painful; potentially very unsafe in general (e.g. abandoned warehouse); poor ventilation = smoky, humid, and hot; fog machines are the devil; NO seating/chairs; exposure to dirt, dust, mold, trash; spilled drinks + sweat + darkness + mobility aid = slipping hazard; EARPLUGS ALWAYS. to emphasize: indoor underground venues are dirty as hell. your toes and snot will be black with filth in the morning. [these cons are worst case scenario but i have experienced all of these things at one point or another. also sometimes there is violence and/or crime. it's rare, but it has happened.]

hybrid/corporate events (EDC, Ultra, and other arena-style events) -- pros: designated accessibility areas and amenities (elevators, escalators, etc.); medics on site; bathrooms with running water; access to food and water/drinks; seating; paved pathways; cleanup crews; professional sound; accepts both cards and cash; accessible via public transit and has ample parking. neutral: these tend to be multi-day events, sometimes with corresponding apps on your phone for a map, timeslots, digital ticket, etc. treat it more like a convention or music festival than a rave party. cons: THOUSANDS of people; extreme lighting rigs might be overstimulating; difficulty traversing the grounds due to sheer size of the event; a rave-adjacent experience but not necessarily the same vibe or community as an underground rave; corporate greed and poor management has infamously led to overcrowding and medical emergencies; expensive as hell (ticket, hotel, travel, etc.). (these are less disability-specific but I feel they're important to mention).

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you can always scope the venue beforehand for accommodations, at least for public venues. underground events oftentimes will not release directions or an address until the night of the party to keep away undesirables. however, in my experience if you contact the crew (or even one of the local DJs) they'll be happy to give you the rundown (e.g. bathroom situation). also, i think most modern day events don't use map points anymore, so that eliminates a layer of complexity.

if you're not sure what your tolerance level might be, keep an eye out for day parties. these are usually at public parks or beaches, so there's plenty of parking, lots of space to spread out, and the sound isn't too amplified. they also rarely reach more than a few dozen people, as anything else requires a permit and risks being broken up by authorities. day parties are generally more chill and low-key, sometimes serving as an afterparty for a "real" rave the night before. this is a nice way to test the waters and to spend an afternoon meeting people, making kandi, or having a picnic, all while enjoying sets from local DJs.

there are also "raver day" meetups at places like amusement parks, zoos, aquariums, and other places that offer group discounts without strict dress codes. as part of "magic in the making" my buddy vince organizes biannual (summer and winter) raver days at disneyland, which i have loved and attended nearly every year (pre-pandemic) since 2004. we wear our favorite outfits, trade kandi made just for raver day, and meet new people. if you don't know anyone in the scene, doing a big group activity like a meetup is a great way to introduce yourself.

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i do have many thoughts about disability and the rave scene, especially in this " "post"-covid era" (please imagine infinite quotation marks around "post"), but this answer is long enough already. all i can say is that some crews have done their due diligence in promoting the safest atmosphere possible, requiring proof of vax/negative covid tests (and actually checking them), masks while in indoor/crowded areas, and installing upgraded HEPA filter ventilation systems in their venue—but that was about a year ago. now, as we approach the end of 2022, many raves and their crews are not concerned with whether or not their events are accessible. in my opinion, that is a major detriment to the scene's unity, and it effectively prohibits me from attending any events for the foreseeable future. i miss raving more than anything, but i am currently not willing to risk lifelong disability or death to return to it prematurely, or to return to a scene that i, frankly, no longer recognize as the community that once loved me so much in return.

on a positive parting note, here is the late rave legend Keith Flint of the Prodigy greeting and embracing some disabled fans (0:45, warning for flashing lights from 0:00 - 0:50). He was the realest dude there ever was:

i can't wait for you to make your foray into the scene once it is safe for us both :)

[mythvoiced]

SOME Q'S FOR KAEDEN AS WELL: When did they start to realize that they needed to break from the usual cycle as a reaper? How long has it been since they stopped guiding souls? Do they get symptoms of their past that they don't know it's part of their past (like Reaper with his chest stings, etc.)? Since they like neon lights, would they enjoy going to light parades? If they had the chance to know about their past with no repercussions whatsoever, would he take it? HAVE A NICE DAY uwu

@jeoseungsaja | hello, it is I, the person constantly crying because of how much I love Alex and am grateful to her, careful to not slip on these tears ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

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-. When did they start to realize that they needed to break from the usual cycle as a reaper? Death is unbiased and just, and as such, it takes whomever it needs to take, without thought, without sentiment, because death is an entity that doesn’t work the way our minds and hearts do. Kaeden, though, has always had a difficult time truly incorporating this though. He was alone for most of his days and night, those he spends his time with are few, and they’re not usually people he’ll remember the name of - meaning, anyone he meets while he’s going somewhere. And being alone like this, usually even avoiding ‘company meetings’ because they simply bored them to death (<.< hehe <w<), meant that there was enough space for them to think, something not exactly asked of them, but we do see that reapers are, at the end of the day, still a lot more human than is credited to them. So they think, and they think about all the children they had to guide, and they think about all the victims they had to guide while their abusers lived on, often better lives, they think about how unfair it is that they can’t truly say goodbye, and will not ever get the justice they deserved in line. So they think, and these thoughts begin to fester, to the point where it’s only a matter of time until they’ll escalate into the decision he ends up making. And then one day, he’s meant to guide a child again. And the child is far too mature, far too composed, far too wise and solemn and not sad the same, for their age. And you know what this child does? They tell Kaeden ‘It’s okay’. Because somehow, even seconds after their death, they still had more love in their heart than anyone surrounding them, to the point where they’d rather comfort the reaper than ask them to do their job of comforting them. And that was kind of... the last straw.

-. How long has it been since they stopped guiding souls? SO, in the main timeline I usually pick for threads, it’s only been a handful of months, I can’t decide if we’ve passed the half a year mark already or not, but definitely not a full year yet. This is because I can’t quite imagine that a system as rigid as the one they belong to would let them get away with something like this for too long before he’ll be trailed and constantly intercepted by other reapers. I don’t think they can force them, but I can imagine some deity or another might end of untervening if it starts getting too ridiculous. So I don’t want the time-frame to be large enough to bring forth the question “Okay, but, why hasn’t anyone said anything yet?”. If that makes sense ==

-. Do they get symptoms of their past that they don't know it's part of their past (like Reaper with his chest stings, etc.)? SO I’VE BEEN mulling this one over since I first read it because it’s such a good question thank you so much; I’d actually forgotten about Reaper’s chest stings for a moment there, oh I am a sh am- and I’ve decided that YES, let them- Due to the nature of their curse, it would be difficult to choose a particular symptom for him to feel, since the curse was designed in a way that would make him experience constantly new ones, usually juxtaposing existing ones or substituting them, so that he may never find an adequate cure or sense of relief from them. In fact, they would usually find ways to perhaps be rid of an infection or pounding headaches, only to then be instantly afflicted by intense cold sweats or ache in his joints, find relief for those, and be affected by an inhibiting drowsyness or constant nausea, find a way around those, and get those headaches again and maybe the cold sweats, it was a cycle without pattern, designed by simply refusing to attribute a system to it, an actual cycle, so it would simply go on like this until his death. So, since there were no singular symptoms that could be considered more reoccuring or noteworthy than the others, I think that what would be carried over would be a very deep-rooted sense of exhaustion. Being ill is exhausting, your body is constantly trying to fight against whatever it is that is making you ill, so I can imagine that Kaeden will have moments where he will feel heavy, tired-out, not as if he hasn’t slept in a while, but as if no amount of sleep would enough to make this exhaustion go away.

-. Since they like neon lights, would they enjoy going to light parades? THEY DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They will absolutely always stop if they see one, that is one of those things he’ll go wildly out of his way for. He doesn’t usually look it up ahead of time, if there are anywhere at any given moment, but he does know where he’s more likely to find some, and then well, you’ll most likely find them memorising when they’ve last seen one taking place there and, they really, really like them, okay, best thing ever. IN FACT, here an extra fun fact: they really like parades in general, the like the flair, the confetti, the music, the artistry, the energy in the crowd and on the street, the craft behind, the good mood, the brightness of it all, huge fan of parades right here.

-. If they had the chance to know about their past with no repercussions whatsoever, would he take it? Yes and no, first no, then yes. I know that, if given such an opportunity, they would inevitably end up taking it. They wouldn’t be able to resist something like that, even if it may take a while until they do bite, they most definitely will, I can guarantee you this, in fact, I’ll tell you something else, they would even with repercussions. This would be an interesting thing to explore, actually, because if given such an opportunity, there wouldn’t be much he wouldn’t risk, especially about himself. He wouldn’t risk anyone he’s come to care for (he wouldn’t trade ANYTHING for Wilder and/or Saja, do not even suggest it to them, don’t) or the innocent, but if he was said “this in exchange for the rest of you”, he’d say yes. BUT that’s not what the question is about, lo siento. The answer is yes, inevitably, sooner or later. Initially, though, no. Because they’re scared mostly. They will say it’s because they don’t trust anything that comes without consequences, they’ll also say that they don’t really need to know, and both these things are true as well. He doesn’t trust, and he can exist without knowing, but it’s more about the fear of finding out what their sin is, who they were, and what he is. Once actually presented with this opportunity, though, it won’t get out of his head. And sooner or later, he’ll say yes.