#but i couldnt even respond i was so shocked 😭

[the-kneesbees]

please tell my I'm not the only one that gets like. really taken aback when people I don't really talk to call me my name.

[dazaikinning]

hanahaki

flower petals and blood were coming out of your lungs, "what?".

"im sorry but you're diagnosed with the hanahaki disease." yosano frowns and signed.

hanahaki, a disease where you have such strong romantic feelings for someone which causes you to cough out blood and flowers. the only way to get rid of it is to confess your feelings or get the disease surgically removed including their romantic feelings for their beloved. but,

"so if i run out of time or if he doesn't have the same feeling for me, i'll die?" you asked nervously.

she nodded. "and hey, please don't rush yourself. you got one month left." she added

shit. what am i even supposed to do? dazai wouldn't wanna date someone like me.

"thank you yosano-san, i really need to go back to work now." you said, "i suggest you should go home and take some rest." you nodded at her and waved her goodbye as you walked out of the infirmary, in shock "boo!!!" you jumped, you looked back and saw dazai. your heartbeat started racing "d-dazai,aren't you supposed to be doing your works?" "is it wrong to wait for you?" he pouted. "no not at al-" you wanted to throw up. "i- really gotta go back home, im not feeling well." "but wai-" you pushed him aside and ran out of the office and went inside a bathroom as you started throwing up again. tears streamed down your face as you quietly sobbed "what should i do?!"

---------------------

"dazai you really should stop annoying her." kunikida scolded, "but im worried about her!!" dazai responded.

fast forward to the next day.

you arrived early to find dazai, who seem to arrive earlier too laying down on the couch. "ah, you seem to arrive early hm?" dazai saw you, "well i just-" he interrupted "now, do you mind me asking you why you suddenly left the agency yesterday?" you gulped. "no i don't mind. it's just that i just have a sore throat and it hurted pretty bad and yosano told me to get some rest.." "i see, you could've have asked me for help, i couldnt bare to see a beautiful lady get sick!" he dramatically whined. you felt your cheeks burning.

beautiful lady? you thought. no no no! he's always like this to every other women! shooking your head, you were interrupted by an urge to start coughing again. "is everything alright-" "n-yes, everything's fine dazai i just need to grab some tissues..sorry dazai" you walked away from dazai with a worried expression. im so sorry dazai, you thought to yourself while walking into the bathroom to cough up some more blood and petals. you suddenly felt dizzy and passed out.

______________________

wew this is rather a long one, but i hope i didn't really made a lot of mistakes

part 2 😭😭😭😭😭

(not proofread.)

[spamaroni]

My experience with limerence was very unique in the sense i had real things to cling on to and give me real hope and these things have also forced me to do some serious self reflecting and healing, it started off just normal chats on a dating app didnt think anything of it and we had spoke on multiple occasions but never in my wildest dreams did i think i was going to end up as i did

Fast forward a couple weeks he texted me one night saying he came to my area. Details to consider was that he wasn’t comfortable with meeting with men he had just worked a double shift and on top of that we had a large age gap he didnt know what to expect of me, despite these things he wanted to and committed to meeting me not know where it would go.

For me i was shocked to have a person put in so much effort into me, up until this moment i still just thought wow i havent been excited to meet him but hey anyone willing to go these extens for me is worth meeting and having in my in my life, so i ran out no shirt just a sweater shorts and crocs,

When i saw him in my parking lot he was parked on his motorcycle just waiting for me snd when i looked at his eyes in person it was like they twinkled with positivity and from that alone i was yanked into another realm and from my shock he couldnt help but smile and for what did he do that i just fell even deeper i couldnt begin to form words except saying his name like omg i cant believe you’re here you showed up, but i also cant believe how HANDSOME you are wow it felt like prince charming pulling up on me

From there on i got my act together to a very short extent, i almost felt star struct 😂😭 but i found the words to let him know how appreciative i was to just see him, we went on to talk about how my day went and i had some vocal lessons earlier on that day , so i explained what i had learned and i wasnt going in much depth to not bore him but he asked me to and my heart smiled because im very very passionate about music

This is where my experience differs from other limerent people i wasnt seeking someone to fuel my dreams or desire to live i was more so excited to have someone by my side to share all these dreams i have and wanting to be a big star we’ve seen some celebrities crumble under all the pressure so despite how strong minded i am i felt having a person to talk to about these things was all i needed so for him to seek more information just as i said made my hesrt smile

Before this i had always considered myself a hopeless romantic ready for real love but a si said earlier i never imagined id begin to feel those strong feelings with this person,

with that said the intrusiveness began to take over i didnt think i wanted to know more about him or even get around to meeting him but in the moment everything else seemed faded away and my only focus was bullding this connection even further

after that conversation about music which im going to save more info for a 4 page letter to him inspired by aaliyah but long story short i found out later he already knew about music and was simply allowing me to fully express my thoughts which again touched my heart in ways it hadnt been touched

before in all my previous experiences i think i was also limerent in terms of really seeking reciprocation but i let very simple superficial things fuel that fulfillment of reciprocation in example fast responding, smoking me up with nothing in return nothing truly meaningful but i still would feel oh this person likes and values me soooo much

But after the conversation of music we went on to talk about past sexual experiences and how unfulfilling they were for both of us and again i gained a new found respect and attraction here we were two in opinion very attractive people who havent had a mutual respectful intimate bond with someone of the same sex, his experiences were un consented mine were with people i truly truly was settling for for enjoyment in the moment and before me was a guy i felt i wouldnt be settling in any area it was like my dreams were in reach of grasping

With all that said an hour had passed we chatted about a few topics and got heavily into each of them and i simply did not want him to leaveee but he had to and so i started goofing seound sitting on his motorcycle so he wouldnt be allowed to leave i put on his gloves for shits and giggles and i even let him teach me how to ride it even tho i had ZERO intentions of ever doing so but i thoroughly enjoyed hearing his passion as well but when i noticed how late it was and being considerate of him having to work in the morning another double i thought itd been enough so i stopped goofin

again i was touched that he allowed me to goof around he goofed with me and he had just spent all this time with me cloud 9 was an understatement all this with no physicality and before he was leaving i looked in his eyes and this part is kind of blurred but i remember thinking idk if this is what i said or if any words were said but i was like i would regret it if i didnt ask or act and i wanted a kiss next thing you know we did and that was just as people have described limerence pure ecstasy i couldnt think of a moment i felt happier the kissing felt so correct and i enjoyed it so much didnt wanna let go and after the kiss he gave me what felt like the tightest hug of my life i felt my lower back getting ready to collapse in his arms and again i couldnt think of a time i felt more vulnerable but okay with it and just pure enjoyment pure magic as if i was struct by lightening and when he left and i walked away i was still on my cloud 7365 i felt like i had birds flying above my head like in the cartoons i just remember feeling like wow this feels unreal what a beautiful human what a beautiful moment wow wow wow this is what ive been waiting forrr 😍😍😍 i screamed before getting inside im a very loud person so its one of the first things i think of doing when overwhelmed with joy snd when i got inside i wrote in my journel things i remembered from our conversation which in the moment wasnt a lot because i was so deep in my deep fondness of him my cloud 9 state

But as someone has mentioned limerence has a very dark painful aching side as well which is how i was able to remember more because the day he told me we had to stop progressing due to him not being anywhere near the deepness i was which was understandable i had to reflect on all the positive time we had and i relived it in the sense of remembering how amazing it felt and now how low i felt in the moment how could i have felt two drastic feelings from the same person, i cried my heart out in a way i didnt even come close to when i lost a dear dear family member of mine and the same involuntary control limerence had on me when i was on cloud 9 and couldnt help it i couldnt help but grieve my highest hopes were shot down and it felt like my heart was shot as well i didnt have a clue of how to begin healing so crying sufficed and i cried so much my face became swollen and i looked at myself in my camera in disbelief it was like i didnt recognize myself and that hurt me more that i got so low due to someone elses actions so the phase of guilt and blame came on me like why did i pour so much emotion so so soon im at 110 of course he doesnt feel at the same place as me and it was definitely a rollercoaster of emotions just as i felt i had never been happier in my life i had never felt as sad as i did

You would think i would never want to feel this limerence towards another person but innthe right situation with the right progression i know it could be a jackpot magical moment

so for those out keep a good positive mind don’t lose hope 💖❤️💖❤️💖

[punkbeetleart]

Hmm pretty corny but what if Yoshida said yes to Ootagawas confessions, how do u think that would go and how do you think the team would respond🤔 be optimistic lmao

Sorry I mention them sm I love those two😭

No need to apologize! Though again i dont really feel like i can answer this well,,, i dont actually know a ton abt yoshida aside from the musashino v arc game (i.e. hes not as clear of a character type as ootagawa so idk his personality as much) and the rest of the team is even more of a mystery.

I guess ootagawa would be over the moon. Red as a firetruck. Pass out or somethin. If any members were present theyd prob be blushing too just from like. Witnessing a whole ass shoujo moment. Other members would prob either be like. Not caring like yea obvs oota liked him tho its a shock yoshida said yes. Or theyd be like??? Ootagawa actually like liked him???????? And yoshida said yea?????????????????? No in between pure shock or indifference

But again idk i couldnt name a single other arc member.

[eitelle]

Sorry for just attending now 😔

Soo how about I take one Kenma x reader romantic unsweetened coffee? With two pumps of fake dating, your writing style, a song of your choice, a bit of teasing between the characters. End it however you like but don’t give me depression 😭 (Here’s a little tip 💵💵💵 dw im rich)

#reis anime musical collection

Ps.: Of course I follow you ❤️❤️❤️

Pss.: CONGRATS YOU HAVE 200 FOLLOWERS?? YOU GO QUEEN 😩😩❤️

-🪐

BABIEEE ILYSM PLS <33 AND U KNOW IM “KNOWN FOR” MY HURT COMFORT SO IMMA GIVE U MY BEST 🤤🤤

AND OFC IK U FOLLOW ME 🙄🙄 ID BE PISSED IF U DIDNT /hj ALSO KENMA??? HURTCKMFORT??? R U SURE UR NOT ME??? TASTE: IMMACULATE. AND FAKE DATING I- MY HWART WISVEJDBDKZH

the song of the day is: lover by taylor swift! just trust me here

“ Can we always be this close forever and ever? ,,

what a foolish promise. it was your 18th birthday and you couldnt help but sit in your college dorm thinking about how wonderful your ex was doing. you two had a summer romance. a real one, but like most it didnt last. you were from miyagi, he was from tokyo; it just didnt work out. sure it was cliche, but why does that have to be a bad thing?

“ And ah, take me out, and take me home (forever and ever) ,,

as you reminisce on your last date, the one that ended in him sending you home with your heart in pieces there was a knock on your door.

“ You're my, my, my, my ,,

walking up to get it thinking it was your best friend? you open the door in sweats and a loose t-shirt, thai food staining a bit on your pants.

“ Lover ,,

as the door swings open you stand in shock as you see your old flame (whos feelings for you and your feelings for him never went away) in obvious distress at your college dorm doorstep.

as he pushes himself in the small dorm he seats himself on your bed with horrendous posture.

“yn i know im the worst person you should be seeing right now,” he starts.

“damn right,” you snort, rolling your eyes and tapping your feet. “go on, the days almost over i just want to watch my anime.”

“ok uh how do i put this, because of our. relationship,” he explains awkwardly, wording it in such a weird way. “it would be so realistic if you could be my date to this gamer expo. i dont want to get harassed you see and obviously you know how popular i am.”

“haha nice try bud. its a no from me.”

“ill give you mone-”

“when and where.”

and just like that, the two exes reconnected with a fake relationship.

“ Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand? ,,

at the expo it was time for kenma and you to man his panel. “KENMA KODZUKEN AHHH AHHH AHHHHHH” you heard from each fangirl and from each one as soon as the saw you with your hand possessively around his waist they shut up got what they wanted and left in disgust. finally nearing the time for q&a and the final speech, you realize how great the day had been. how secure, safe, and whole you felt with him. it was the same feeling you had when you were just a couple of teenagers in love 3 summers ago.

“ With every guitar string scar on my hand / I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover ,,

at the q&a it was smooth, your nerves and his nerves hyper activated so your hands were interlocked under the table, his thumb dancing over your knuckles. in that moment you felt so content you couldnt even remember why you hated him or why you were even pretending.

“mr. kodzuken? i have a question for you. uh who is the person next to you? a significant other?” you hear from a fan relaxing when you hear how sweetly the question was worded.

“kenma,” you whisper away from the microphone, “i got this one.”

“hi,” you respond, “i am in fact kenmas significant other. we met three summers ago and we reconnected at the start of last year.”

as you hear the whispers ripple throughout the crowd they all seem to notice as kenma puts his arm behind you, thumb rubbling circles in the lower half of your back. “you did good, thank you. one more event and we’re done and we can go our separate ways.”

as your eyes start to tear up at that, yet another harsh reminder that you didnt belong here. you didnt belong with him. in fact you hated him, he was your ex who broke up with you and this “relationship” is fake. it was all fake.

“mhm yeah one more event and i get my money huh,” you chuckle, trying to joke lightly, nudging your shoulder into his subtly.

“ My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue ,,

at the event you walked up with kenma, the stiffest youd been all day and of course he noticed it. he still cared about you. he didnt go to you in specific for no reason, he couldve gone alone. he really didnt need a date, this event wasnt that sort of thing but he couldnt help it. he felt butterflies and nerves and anxiety when your name came up. fake dating you for a day taught kenma one thing: he was still madly in love with you. but it also taught him another: he could never bring you into this world. it was painfully obvious you didnt fit here and he could never do that to you. prioritizing you, kenma decided after today he would let you go.

feeling the same butterflies when stepping up to the podium with you, all of his thoughts and speech were lost. tapping you twice on your arm, you remembered from that summer what it meant.

one tap: im uncomfy

two taps: i cant do this

three taps: get me out of here.

“ All's well that ends well to end up with you ,,

stepping up you decide to take this speech onto your own hands. it was an acceptance speech and a thank you speech to all of his fans, only you had to deliver it. cant be that hard right? if it was for kenma anything was worth it.

“ Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover ,,

“hi everyone. kenma doesnt do well in pubic settings for speeches so as his s/o i am delivering his speech as best i can and hopefully conveying his feelings about yall to yall,” at the lack of response you get the confidence to continue. “i obviously do not belong here. this isnt my setting, but it is kenmas. he has amassed all of yall and all of these awarda smd achievements in such little time and hes so proud and thankful of all of you. his success would be nowhere without any of you. he is my boyfriend and even thought this is new to you guys its new to us too. ill treat him well dont worry, and he hopes that hes treated you all well. thank you.”

at the standing ovation you received, kenma guided you down the stairs and ushered you into the car.

“you did great n/n,” his old nickname for you slipping out as he gives you a kiss on the cheek making you flustered as hell.

“ And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me ,,

“well mr kenma, now that the hard part is over lets strip down to our unmentionables shall we?” you say winking at him with your newfound confidence as an attempt to mask your sadness that your relationship was over with the day. sure it was fake, the feelings werent. that you were sure of.

“ok then y/n, but first heres your money. you did a great job today, thank you for helping me,” he says giving you a huge wad of cash. “is this enough?”

“god kenma you just dont get it huh? of course its enough, if i wanted this relationship to stay fake. but i dont. and i hate myself for that. all i want to do is be able to say, ‘and at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover’ but your not mine. this is fake. but my feelings arent,” you rant, tears fallibg from your eyes.

“i wanted to shield you from this world yn,” kenma says softly as he reaches out to grab your hands as he meets your eyes. “i was truing to let you go because i prioritize you. i will always prioritize you. but sometimes we have our selfish moments. im sorry for making you cry baby,” he finishes grabbing your face in a kiss.

“Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close forever and ever?” you ask, repeating the same promise you asked him all those years ago.

“always.”