#but i do not have time or mental fortitude to commit to a writing schedule yet

[mikecrewsteacup]

my wife has been listening to summaries of old and current religious stories/horror/whatever fanfic category paradise lost is in, and i've been retreading more semi-recent horror (lovecraft, shelley) and i feel myself VIBRATING with excitement of the concept of being inspired...with no commitment to actually writing but the IDEA of it is very real and very exciting... i've started two short horror stories and opened up a new concept for an oc of mine and it just kinda feels nice

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

2018 Fic Writing Roundup

No one asked me, it just looked like fun. This isn’t a true indicator of my volume this year, as a lot of my stuff never made the migration from tumblr to ao3. And I wrote some truly prolific shit during and post prompt-a-thon. This is just a summary of my ao3 postings.

Total 2018 Word Count: 98,024

Total 2018 Hits: 55601

Other 2018 AO3 Stats: Kudos (4,836), Comment Threads (454), Bookmarks (668 - all fandoms), Subscriptions (731 - all fandoms).

Links & Titles to 2018 Works: 

The Day Kara Danvers Died 

Echoes of Summer 

You Belong With Me

Matters of the Heart

Side Effects May Include

Denouement

Thicker than Water

Fortitude 

Written in Our Scars 

Calm Before the Storm 

'Tis the Season

Second Chances 

Favorite Fic: I have to say Second Chances, because despite it being my longest fic on ao3 this year, it’s gotten the least amount of love. I really like the moments I’ve found between Lena and James. And honestly anything with baby Lena is a win, so Echoes of Summer and Calm Before the Storm are tied for second, I guess.

Hardest Fic: Written in Our Scars, hands down. I’ve done so many reveal fics, it’s hard to find new conversations to have PLUS they were on Argo, which made it even harder, considering we saw next to nothing of it in canon.

Do you plan on taking prompts in 2019? Eventually! I’ll definitely be more judicious this time though. Definitely bit off more than I could chew last time. Learning curve, right?

What was the best thing about 2018? I found a passion for competitive ice skating, and contributing more to fandom on tumblr. I’ve gotten a lot of fulfillment out of both, and being more informal in my writing has allowed me to keep writing even when my schedule kept me from committing to longer projects.

What was the worst thing about 2018? almost everything else.

Any last thoughts for 2018? so long and thanks for nothing.

Goals for 2019:

quit my second job

use the extra time and mental energy to write, workshop, and submit an original short story for publication

my best friend gave me a 365 writing questionnaire for xmas. I want to do it, every single day. (I’m now 11 days behind)

be a more confident skater (and have as much fun with it as jvn)

propagate some succulents for the first time!

find some life balance=make some friends

make happiness when I can’t find it

Above all, I want to live with the following in mind.

“Have courage and be kind.”

“Be afraid... do it anyway”

“Just do it.”

I’m not going to tag anyone. Anyone who wants to do this is welcome.

[freeandsoulful]

Tumblr has always been a safe place for me. A place where I can really express some things and comfortably send them in a very tangible way out to the universe. And generally, there is some support (even just a like, it’s fucking retarded, I know) and I feel validated.

I am having so many changes piling up so quickly, I’m very much struggling to adapt (and pay only the bills I need to keep trying to pay the bills - barely by the skin of my teeth). Some things need to change about me and my habits right now.

I treat my body like shit. Total and complete shit, and I feel like shit too. That... has to change. I have to quit smoking. I have to eat better. And I have to do the (dreaded) “exercise.” I have to. So... I have the rest of this pack of cigarettes to wean myself off (then I’m done, or I’m gonna fight for it). It’s time. I’m going to spend some serious time thinking about a fairly well rounded (or much more so than now) diet. Just the same goddamn thing every day, with all the shit I avoid like the plague. And soda. And energy drinks.... in time. I don’t drink toooooo much of that I suppose anyway. And... I have thought up a way to get me walking. So, if I ask a friend if they can commit to and hour walk with me, meet wherever, once a week, I could probably find someone with a block of time also wanting to be more active, right? But could I find *6* friends willing to have a weekly walk date? I wonder. I hope. Because this is my plan. Then I get 6 walks a week, with 6 quality people. Or maybe someone wants two days, because this is a god damned good idea.

All of this is all well and good. But I’ve said it before. And I didn’t. I just... remained, because it’s easier. I want this feeling to stick. That’s why I am bothering to write this bullshit at 02:30am. I want to feel better. I want to make this life work. Actually, I want to make this life my bitch. This is an uphill climb. I don’t know how far I’ll get, or how much I will allow myself to get in the way. But I guess that’s the other integral part of this kind of journey. It’s the discipline and self control that I need to pull from my butt. Structure. It’s something I have to retrain my brain to have after years of skirting by. I hardly don’t know where to begin... every aspect of my existence lacks.... all the things. And let’s face it, that is overwhelming as fucking fuck. What do I do? Set a rigorous daily schedule and set an alarm for literally everything and follow it to a T for a month? No, seriously, I’m asking for a friend. Tell me the magic formula for “self control and discipline.” So I suppose that the only conclusion I can make is that... one step at a time in the (general) right direction. Rome wasn’t built in a day. I’ve awakened something in my mind that is trying so hard to strive for self improvement, but it’s looking around at this mess, and my anxiety rears it’s nasty face. So I feel stuck in this loop of wanting to do/be better, and feeling so anxious I literally can’t move. It takes me forever to get out of the house, and ready to tackle my day. Sometimes it takes me 10 minutes to leave my car after I park somewhere (seriously, this has made me late for things, like class). I need to feel better now. Maybe, with this renewed mental fortitude I will be able to find the discipline to simply fucking take care of myself. I want to live. I want to learn.

[survivor-algonquin-blog]

IMMUNITY RESULTS #1

Hope everyone got their groove on!!! Let's get to the results,,,

But first let's meet our lovely JUDGES!!!!

Zach!!

Hey! Zach here. A couple of main seasons under my belt and lucky enough to have played with all of the hosts. I've done this challenge and work in entertainment, so I'll be bringing a critical eye to the table and have no reservations about not holding back. Good luck!

Sarah!!

Hi my name is Sarah. Ive played 7 main ts seasons so I am officially qualified to judge now. I cant wait to see what yall did.

Vilma!!

Hi I'm Vilma and all you need to know about me is that I have a burning love for music videos so I hope y'all put in your best effort tonight <3

Now let's get to some music videos!

Castor's Music Video & Explanation

This is the official submission for the Castor Tribe. We choose to do the music video “Bring me to Life” by Evanescence. This song has a strong theme of Duality throughout the lyrics, and we chose to represent that by only using two tribemates for the lip-syncing portion of this challenge. The video focuses on Bobby, crying out for help, but being shut down by his inner thoughts, portrayed by Bryan. At the beginning of the video, you can clearly see the inner turmoil going on, shown through the colour colour changes and spinning screen. Throughout this portion, it is clear he is listening to Bryan, and letting it hold him back, keeping all these negative emotions inside. About half way through the video, there is a clear tone change, with the scarf starting to come off, signifying an opening up, of Bobby starting to let his thoughts out in a healthy way, and his inner voice becoming quieter and less relevant as time goes on. The video ends on a dark room, lit by a single light, showing that as dark as things may seem, there will always be light at the end of the tunnel, you just must keep moving forward. We felt that this was a good representation for survivor for several reasons. Firstly, in order to progress far in the game, you must be able to rely on other people to keep you sane. One of the Key elements of survivor is the ability to outlast the other players, and that requires you to mentally outlast them as well. You can clearly see that on the Edge of Extinction season, where it is only the mental fortitude of these voted off contestants giving them a chance now. Secondly, there have been several survivor Contestants that have struggled with the ideas of self-doubt, and depression both during and after the show, most notably, Sugar, after Survivor Heroes Vs Villains, as well as Spencer Bledsoe, after Game Changers. Finally, no matter how dark you may think your prospects in survivor are, if you believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and keep pushing through, you will always be able to make an impact. We chose to make the video focus on only two of our tribemates because most submissions for these types of challenges tend to include almost all the tribe members, and we wanted to create something that stands out. All of us contributed to the final product in several different ways. Firstly, we had Lilly, who was the Creative Director, and Task Manager. She came up with the narrative and focused on creating a realistic schedule in order to get everything done on time, and to a good quality. Bobby and Bryan, you saw in the music video, as our lead lip-syncers. Aaliyah was the editor of this video, putting to use her skill in a way much better than anyone else on our tribe could have accomplished. Finally, Michael and Jack created the write up, in order to communicate our thoughts to the judges, to show the amount of effort we put into this project.

Zach:

Creativity:6

The explanation for idea of the music video was strong and well intentioned, if not wholly originally, but I’m not sure it is entirely reflected in what got with the video. I appreciate the deliberate choice to use only two members of the cast to support that idea, so I can’t ding for points there, but I don’t think what we got was what we were promised in the explanation.

Effort: 7

Going off of the intro text, I’ll take it in good faith that everyone contributed as much as was mentioned, and despite execution, I cannot fault their efforts if they all tried.

Composition: 5

Any time there’s a vertical video, it’s going to hurt a little, but I won’t dwell on that too much. I will say that the video ending before the song ends does not help its case. Also, the idea behind the colors and the black and white to show emotional change was a good thought, but did not have the payoff that it should have had. The rationale behind it feels more film school interpretation of something after the fact than intended execution.

Theme: 7

The theme as explained was a solid one, and definitely can see tones of it in the performances and set dress of the actors. Nice job. Bryan will haunt my dreams.

All-in-all, I think this was a good effort and it’s obvious that this team works together well and has lofty ideas. I think the technical skill might be lacking, and it seems like everyone here is very structured in their thinking. I prefer that way of thought so I’m with them, but they needed a little more creative flair here to pull it off.

Sarah:Creativity: 5/10

Effort: 5/10

Composition (editing): 7/10

Theme: 8/10

I wish I saw everyone from the tribe in this but I get your reasoning behind it. It was still just overall ok

Vilma:

Creativity: 4/10

You made a creative decision to include only two people of your tribe in the lip sync and while I appreciate the ballsy move I can’t help but feel I would’ve enjoyed the video more if more people were included in it.

Effort: 5/10

Bobby was the king of the show and really put his soul into it.

Composition: 4/10

Rule number one in music videos: film horizontally! Overall I wasn’t a huge fan of the constant use of cheap looking effects but otherwise the editing was fine.

Theme: 6/10

I think the duality theme in your video was nice an well thought-out but it would be a bit hard to understand without your thorough explanation of it.

Castor Total: 69/120

Elan's Music Video & Explanation

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She walks! She talks! She twerks! She's BARBIE! Jump, dance, and sing with your very own customizable doll! Dress her up and take her out. Barbie is your BEST FRIEND! You can be a Barbie Girl too! SHE'S BARBIE! (batteries not included)

Zach:

Creativity: 7

The idea of using Barbie girl for the song was a strong and out of the blue choice, making it look like a commercial really took it over the top. I can’t go higher than 8 because they used a lot of the original music video to cover gaps, but overall, more creative an idea than I’ve seen in a while, and the execution was beautiful which leads me to:

Effort: 8

To put what they put together as quickly as they did takes a lot of coordination from whomever was putting it together, but the fact that most people went so far as to dress as “Barbies” shows that almost everyone was committed to the gag. There were a couple of people who obviously didn’t have as much time to give to this, but substituting them as the Ken was a nice save.

Composition: 9

Obviously when working with iPhones and computer cameras, the visual leaves something to be lacking, but that is more than made up for here with the various superpositions, graphics, texts, crawls, and cuts. It felt like I was watching a bizarro QVC commercial that was as fun to watch as Barbies are to play with, keeping them right on mark for their:

Theme: 9

The fact that this is basically a weird commercial for Barbies is as fantastic as they are plastic. Every inch of it was filled with something to reinforce the theme, whether it was ordering details, people playing with the toys, warnings, calls to actions, or disclaimers (the bottom Mattel crawl was a brilliant example of all three categories of judgement coalescing to reinforce the them.

I wasn’t planning on rating anyone high, but this was weird, original, well done, and fun. Nice job. It was visual candy, high energy, and all surface, which I wouldn’t typically go for, but that’s what Barbie is about.

Sarah:Creativity: 9/10

Effort: 10/10

Composition (editing): 10/10

Theme: 8/10

You guys impressed the fuck out of me and made me literally LOL.

Vilma:

Creativity: 8/10

Cute outfits, cute barbie nicknames, cute editing, cute CuTe CUTE I want these slutty barbies to myself

Effort: 9/10

The barbie QUEENS and the editor guy did a phenomenal job. It looks like most of your tribe participated, although the Barbies outshined the Ken’s a bit. But overall you guys really put yourself out there and put in the most effort.

Composition: 10/10

The editing was ON POINT. Great job ten out of ten.

Theme: 8/10.

I stan the barbie theme and song choice btw Aqua is a Danish band so I love me some nordic representation <3 My only complaint is I wish you introduced us to the handsome Kens too.

Elan Total: 105/120

Hibou's Music Video & Explanation

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We lip synced Survivor by Destiny's Child. Due to time constraints Gavin couldn't be in the video, but it doesn't matter since Sammy stole the show. :) The editing got a little weird at the end. Some of the file types were different and that causes playback issues. Also the deadline was fast approaching so the sequences towards the end are a little longer. :p

Zach:

Creativity: 2

Hate to be harsh, but going for Survivor for Survivor is a little too on the nose. Listen, it’s a great song, and some people have some great energy, but creatively, this was low hanging fruit. On top of that, the video is literally just lip-syncing, which is basically like playing a Borneo Game in 2019. Given that they’d be given plenty of examples of other ways this can be done well, I can’t rate this high. To paraphrase the song “you’re better than that.”

Effort: 4

To the people that contributed to this, I appreciate your attempt. The one guy who really embraced the challenge, got a mic, light-up glasses, the hat, et al, if this was based on just your effort, I could go much higher. It’s as high as it is because of you. Unfortunately, it’s a team challenge, and for the brief moments that we saw most of the other players, you can see them reading the words on the screen as they capture their performance. I hope everyone enjoyed it more than it shows, but again, to the point of the song “you’ve gotta work harder.”

Composition: 2

Vertical videos really just need to be turned 90 degrees and it would feel like we’re watching a movie. Or if you’re given vertical videos, copy the layer, move it to the back, enlarge, and blur. It will make it instantly more watchable. This grade isn’t solely because of that though (3 vertical videos don’t help though). The titles screen is cute, but assembled poorly. Some of the text is covered some of the pictures. There’s no real pace to guide us through the song. The cuts seem arbitrary. Editing is very hard and never appreciated, so to whomever put this together, if you did your best, nice job and I encourage to stick with it, but kinda feels like “I’m not gonna give up” was something you were saying to yourself over and over again when trying to make this work.

Theme: 2

Picking this song was a bold choice since it’s so obvious, but you can’t lose points in this category based on choice alone. But given that choice, you have to really knock it out of the park, and I don’t think the bat even touched the ball with this one. There’s nothing here that screams either Survivor nor what Destiny Child was singing about, I don’t know if we’d be weaker without this song in our life.

Look, I hate to be critical, especially since it’s obvious some people put it in a lot more work with this than others, but to be honest, this wasn’t a shining example of what you’re all capable of. It’s hard putting these together, and maybe it just wasn’t worth it this time. Making music videos can be fun or terrible depending on with whom you work. I wish you the best, but I feel like because of this, for one of you “I’m gonna make it, here on Survivor” just isn’t true.

Sarah: Creativity: 4/10

Effort: 3/10

Composition (editing): 6/10

Theme: 4/10

You tried.

Vilma:

Creativity: 4/10

I feel like you guys could’ve been more creative with your Survivor theme. I like that you introduced everyone in the beginning but other than that the video was very simple.

Effort: 6/10

Most of your tribe seemed to participate and that’s always nice to see. Some of you guys were really feeling it too so big props to that!

Composition: 3/10

Again, gotta deduct some points for not filming horizontally. Plus the lip syncing was VERY off most of the time, such a simple thing to fix and the video would’ve seemed much more professional!

Theme: 5/10

Your song choice is literally perfect, you GUYS are survivors and you know it but I wish you would’ve included little skits or something to emphasize the theme.

Hibou Total: 45/120

Congratulations to Castor and Elan for winning immunity!! which unfortunately means Hibou you will be heading to tribal council, where you will be voting off the first person in Tumblr Survivor Algonquin. Tribal will be live over Google Hangouts, and we plan to start at 9:00 EST. please let the hosts know beforehand if you will be able to attend tribal council or not.