#but i dont control what gets ordered
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got a report yesterday that one of the stores complained that i hadnt been moving stock there all weekend (BS cause I moved 14 cases in that store alone which for a non sale weekend that's a lot ime) but of course it had me paranoid that I would have to field a call from higher up because that store in specific is the one watched closely. just got a message from that higher up, 97% in stock across all stores (even more than the other team mentioned) so FUCK YOU dude. 'm gonna be less salty than i had planned to be if i actually got 'in trouble', but still not gonna be buddy buddy with that fuck anymore
#like i get it it's a pain in the ass to deal with the amount of stock from one vendor#(hell i've gotten the hardass receiver at another store to love me because i get her position is a lot more stressful but im also upfront#about my role and what i can and cannot control).#but i dont control what gets ordered#and i don't control how much product gets bought between my visits#and i refuse to open up a dozen boxes to only put up one or two items fuck the mess THAT would inevitably create in the freezers#im also just annoyed cause the guy didn't speak to me at all to address it when he saw and made friendly comments to me each day#like be a big boy and use your words if you want me to do something different or are confused#personal#kayrambles#work annoyance#generally love the job because im on my own and just hopping around to stores to stock#but this bothers me simply because i've heard employees previously have been followed and at the root of it all#is i enjoy privacy and not feeling like im being surveilled even when that's inevitable in this country in general
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And they were dyads
Oh my god they were dyads
#still so shook about how they have some force created soulmate shit going on and we got like the absolute bare minimum building w that#between rey and ben.. other in universe examples and their effects on the pair.. them ever really working together except the one time cmon#what even was that last film#dont get me wrong i didnt hate a lot of what happened but choices were made and they were not correct#also .. i fully see hux as wanting to destroy kylo but no fucking way hes going straight to the resistance with info whaaa#he cares that kylo loses but he absolutely wants to control the first order fleets still dont act like he doesnt#star wars#reylo
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like on one hand i understand why people don't like subira at first, but i'm also getting tired of seeing people shit on her without actually getting to know her. and i know how that sounds, but she's literally fine. like yes death to cops but the in game order lady isn't the evil witch come to kill zeki and reth that everyone thinks she is. and they would know that,, if they did her quests,, or at least spoiled themselves and looked at the wiki,,,
it's getting embarrassing honestly
#spoilers#like Please just look at the wiki aldghlj#like trust me i understand the initial hate cause i didnt trust or like her at first either#but then i looked at the wiki to see what was going to happen#and realized it wasnt that bad#and then i did the quests and realized she's literally fine#like the order absolutely still sucks imo but she's fine#seeing hate when she first came out was chill and expected#seeing hate now after people have had every chance to get to know her and the quests is just embarrassing#if you dont want to see spoilers then dont keep reading these tags#but she Literally says that she doesnt hate zeki and that he's just being controlled and manipulated by the cartel#which he is!! that's literally what he tells us!!#she literally says that at most he would just have to pay a fine like my guys#and she doesn't know about reth at all#and by her lvl4 quest she doesnt trust the order as much and starts to doubt them#LIKE#she's not even evil! she genuinely believed in the order's mission but she changes her mind once she's presented with them being assholes#and again she's not even trying to hurt zeki or get him in trouble!! he's gonna pay a fine at most!! that's all!!!#and from what we have seen from her i genuinely don't believe that she would be against reth#she would absolutely feel bad and it could even end up being her wake up call to how the order's mission isnt good#and people would know that if they took the time to read her wiki or do her quests#but instead they make bad jokes about 'how dare people like the hot older lady who ends up being really nice and caring grrrrr'#like ajhdgljdag#begging you guys to just read the fucking wiki dude#its not really spoilers if you have no intent to actually do her quests#it gives the same vibes as when people say that reth is super boring and just the dumb cook because they havent gotten to know him#like this whole game is about lore and secrets and characters not being what they seem#im not saying people Have to like her but i am saying you look silly when you hate on her without doing her quests#yeah the devs actually just told me you can only hate her or make jokes about hating her After you complete all her quests#sorry guys :/
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Pathetic!Kimhan truthers rise up 💕
#baby-dom chay you are my confidante my best friend my silly rabbit.#for legal reasons this is a lightheated jokey post :')#but it is also what I do every time 💀#I dont know if its because it orders them Chay/Kim on ao3 so when the dom/sub tag is there im like OH MY GOD YES FINALLY LETS FUCKING GO#rare dom-sub variations my beloved#alas.................. people look at kim and think ''hot.'' instead of ''sopping wet pathetic little meow meow''#the power that d/s chay/kim has.#Kimhan 'needs to be in complete control' Theerapanyakul#utterly picked apart by Porchay 'broke down all of Kims careful defenses by accident' Kittisawadt#it just makes sense!!!!!#credit to tumblr user kinnbig for the meme#negative credit for being too much of a puthy to post it tho 🙏#that said my wife does have significantly more followers than me to be angy in the inbox and she does not want that smoke💀#I however needed this on my blog more than my peace and sanity#anyway sub!kim is my hill to die on#youre telling me you dont look at Kimhan Theerapanyakul and want him held down by the throat??#you think he doesnt deserve to be pinned to a wall???#thats like enrichment for him??? he loves it#its perfect. Kim finally doesnt have to be in control and Chay finally gets to!! its just such a neat exploration of trust!!#something something eroticising vulnerability after years of being forced to be stoic and invulnerable and emotionally cut off 💕#the fandom can barely handle sub!Kim so let me stay completely silent on my sub!Vegas thesis....... but like...... 👀#anyway!! babygirlify that man#put that man on his knees agenda 💕
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ALSOOO thinking abt this bit in ntn... the obvious revulsion ianthe has for the realisation that palamedes was right + she IS irreversibly part naberius + her immediate abandonment of naberius' body in response.... the whole thing reeks of denial like rest in peace to the sandy foundations she built her performative sense of self on but this wave is inevitable girl!! you can't uneat what you've already digested
#maybe the real unwanted guest was the cavalier we ate along the way#ianthe is soooo fascinating bc everything she says or does hinges on this persona shes cultivated to present to the world#like i dont think we've EVER seen her with her guard down or 'unscripted'. or had any real sense of whats going through her mind#shes never getting out of the labyrinth#but the way she reacts to palamedes' suggestion..... it feels VERY defensive. i bet something in there is shattering#very curious abt where her character will go in alecto.. i imagine she'll revert to propping herself on corona who she sees as perfectly-#predictable/controllable in order to reassert her crumbling identity. would LOVE if corona broke out of the mould ianthe forces her into#i think it would fully break ianthe to realise that not only does she not know herself but her perception of corona is an illusion too#like she does have her own ambitions and desires outside of ianthe!! theyve just never been separated long enough for her to realise them#god can u imagine if corona rejects whatever grand plan ianthe is piecing together for her. everything shes done for nothing#it smells lyctorish bc i cant imagine ianthe wanting to be a lyctor if corona wouldnt be forever at her side. but she wouldnt want-#corona's soul to be 'spoiled' by consuming anyone else and she also wouldnt want corona to become capable of necromancy#bc that would upset their power dynamic.. can u IMAGINE if corona convinced judith to eat her. itd be so over we're talking murder suicide#SOO MANY THOUGHTS i cant wait this long for alecto#.diaries#tlt#the unwanted guest spoilers
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#(( ooc. ))#venting tw#negativity tw#gonna try to do some writing today but motivation is real low.#i guess that's what happens when you get called stupid useless and lazy to your face by someone who then expects you#to bow and scrape and wait on them hand and foot#and also now im expected to pay the electric bill on top of doing all the housework. literally all of it. in a home of 3#fucking adults. and bow im also the one having to handle a lot of maintenance work around the place on top of keeping#it spotless bc no one else 'feels like doing it'#and the whole time i get to be insulted and told that im fat. stupid. lazy. while im cleajing up their messes. and fixing stuff for them.#and doing a bunch of cooking bc they get pissy if i dont also feed them on top of doing literally all the housework. and maintenance work.#and also now being expected to pay half the electric bill. again house of 3 people. and im not even allowed to take a hot shower when i need#to in order to get the pain spikes under control from yknow. flaring up my fibro from overworking myself CLEANING AND TAKING CARE OF THE#DAMN HOUSE FOR THEM#bc it takes too much electricity. the electricity i mostly paid for last month#sorry i needed to get that out#suicide tw#abuse tw#not me debating offing myself bc theres no end in sight and no way out and i cant keep going from one abusive situation to another#and just trying to survive. almost 30 yrs old and ive never once felt safe or at home anywhere ive ever lived. not once. in almost 30#years have i ever felt safe. or like im my own person. or that im valued. or wanted. or listened to. not once in almost 30 years#have i ever felt like im actually loved (wanted) beyond my usefullness.#shit sucks man. anyway sorry for the spam of negativity lately. im not trying to be a downer.#gonna go hang out in my inbox for a while and see if anything pops out that my muses wanna jump on 🤞
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im at the chronic pain. im at the masochism. im at the combination chronic pain and masochism
#its just really funny to me every time.#enjoying the soreness in my thighs while very displeased about the soreness in my knees#its about autonomy of course#i can make a conscious decision to go and get my ass fucked up and enjoy it#my back seizing up once a week is out of my control and so i do not enjoy it#and i know ive talked about this before but this is why its so hilarious to me when people get subbing all wrong#of COURSE its about giving power and control away but in order to give them away i first must have power and control#i decide what happens to me. i dont like when i dont.#anyway. its fine. good morning#maybe one of these days ill get to blog about domming. applications are open pspspsps
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Siri how do i stop the cycle without doing these bitchass tiny steps
#lamenting because i was so close to being normal and then i fucking lost it and gained nearly 100 lbs#and i cant get back to where i was i just ...... aaaaaaaaaaaaa#im so much more mentally fucked now so its harder#but thats all excuses right?#and then theres me being like am i even saying that bc i know its what people want to hear#or do i actually believe it? and is there even a difference if i know its true but i dont believe it?#does it even fucking matter just stop shoveling garbage in your mouth ffs#is the real answer here but I AM STRUGGLING#im looking into wls but i know if i dont get my emotional and bored eating under control that shit WILL NOT BE GOOD FOR ME#hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng#im just mad bc i have to fucking grocery shop#which always leads me to being pissed about this fuckass cycle#bitch call me mauville town the way i have cycles#god i can recognize the cycle which all tthe therapists will be like good on you!! :D and im like great. how do i break it#and then theyll say ten thousand small steps BITCH IM DYING I NEED DRASTIC CHANGE#BUT THEN IT WONT STICK AND ILL REVERT BACK TO WHERE I AM#but i did it drastically the first time and it wouldve stuck if i hadnt fucking lost it and ended up in the ward#im not a small steps kind of guy i need to wake up and fix shit and stick to it#but listen to me i am dean maniacally speaking to sam.gif#i buy all these stupid ass healthy foods and i have all these good ideas and reciepes and im legit pumped#and then i fuck it up and order food thats awful for me and then i give the hell up#which is an easy problem to fix. i know.#i can simply just....... not do that#but i swear i am struggling which pisses me off so bad#like you wouldnt struggle if youd quit being a stupidass and just did the damn thing#god i am not gonna do well on my psych evaulation#im gonna end up turning it into therapy and im gonna rage and the lady is gonna be like :D................. you need ten more visits#and youre getting denied at the end of them so get fucked#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#charlie am i losing my GODDAMN MIND? IF ITS GONE WHERE WILL I FIND.. IT?
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ive literally never understood antisemitism and i dont think I ever will. literally 0 basis for any of the conspiracy theories. its always just projection from christians.
#'you want to drink blood and control the world' baby girl you ritualistically drink the blood of your god all the time and convinced ppl#that proselytizing was a Positive And Good Thing You Should Do. dont talk about wanting to control the world.#DONT TALK ABOUT WANTING TO CONTROL THE WORLD- WHEN YOU LITERALLY WANT TO DO IT LIKE YOU MAKE IT BLATANTLY#CLEAR I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AWARE OF THIS YOU CAN JUST SMELL THE AUTHORITARIANISM OFF YOUR SUIT#AND THATS EVEN BEFORE WE GET INTO THE ACTUAL POLITICS! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!#YOU WANT TO CONTROL WOMEN! YOU WANT TO CONTROL PEOPLES SEX LIVES! YOU WANT TO FORCE WOMEN TO GIVE BIRTH!#YOU WANT TO ERADICATE TRANS PEOPLE! YOU HATE PEOPLE OF COLOR! YOU WANT TO CONTROL WHAT BOOKS PEOPLE READ#AND WHAT PEOPLE LEARN IN SCHOOL#YALL L I T E R A L L Y OUT IN THE OPEN SAY YOU WANT TO TURN AMERICA INTO A 'CHRISTIAN NATION'#SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT NEW WORLD ORDER AND TRYING TO CONTROL THE WORLD AND STOP FUCKING PROJECTING#IF ANY POLITICIAN HERE SAID THEY WANTED TO MAKE AMERICA A JEWISH NATION YALL WOULD LOSE YOUR SHIT#BUT SUDDENLY ITS FINE WHEN ITS YOUR CAMP???? IT'S ALMOST LIKE YOUR ISSUE ISNT ACTUALLY BEING CONCERNED#ABOUT JEWISH PEOPLE SOMEHOW NEBULOUSLY EFFECTING AND CONTROLLING SOCIETY AND MORE ABOUT YOU WANTING#TO CONTROL SOCIETY AND NEEDING A SCAPEGOAT TO ATTACK SO PEOPLE DONT SEE YOUR ASS FOR WHAT IT IS#i think yall assume that just bc you want to control everything that so does everyone else and you just dont like what values other ppl hav#you should really live and let live. do some fucking shrooms you square. stop trying to control everything and everyone around#you. worry about you. lord knows you aren't being a perfect little christian like you probably tell yourself- not if you're openly#advocating for tearing away peoples rights.
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anyway i guess i should finally finish dai. lmao
#i dont even have an inquisitor rn. celyn had that role for some time but i decided she's better off staying with the wardens#(for those who dont know. she's a dao companion oc who joins andrale after broken circle#and after the blight she decides to become a warden for real#and later joins the mage rebellion and goes to the conclave etc etc becomes the inky#but as i said. she stays with the wardens actually. she's also a blood mage and continues avernus' research after he passes away)#oc: celyn#anyway...... im thinking qunari mage...... or i could try to bring back my very first inky.... i think her name was athara or athera#or maybe human mage. one of the more basic choices sure whatever but#the thing abt dai is that it forces u into a box where its just so frustrating to play as anything other than andrastian human#especially if u play an elf <3 rly hate that dai's writing shits on elves at every opportunity#i hope datv does some damage control on that at least#so anywayyyy idk what if i made a human mage who totally idolizes frida and wants to be a beacon of change like her#and then actually gets the opportunity to do just that as the inquisitor.. hm......#hmm ok according to the wiki trevelyans are 'noted for their piety and connections within the chantry and the templar order'#'younger members of the family are often expected to follow a career in service of the chantry'#HMMM also 'the trevelyans might also maintain a relationship with the montilyet family of antiva'#alright so conflict between family duties and personal views + josephine childhood friends to lovers romance upon my new inky 🫵
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literally 1 review on etsy lowering my entire average from 5 stars to 4.9 and it like. shouldnt be there imo so im mad abt it
#97#like i cant do shit about it but.#someone left me a 1 star review bc their envelope got lost in the mail instead of contacting me#when i have a policy that i refund or replace lost orders#and then refused to have it refunded or replaced when i reached out??#so why are you giving me 1 star for someting out of my control that you dont even want me to fix#its soooo petty of me to fixate on but its. ONE review.#out ot 600+ which are nearly all 5 star 😭#and that singular 1 bad review changed my entire score. i had 5 stars up until getting it#(etsy has this 'star seller thing' where if you reply fast to messages send orders on time and get good reviews u get a badge)#(and like i have the badge dgmw but.)#(i have 100% fast replies 100% on-time shipping and im literally just 0.1 points from also having a perfect review score)#(and its this ONE SINGLE ONLY unwarranted bad review keeping me from it)#(what can i say im a completionist i wanna get perfect scores :( )#(++ idk how many more 5 star reviews im gonna need for it to balance my score back to perfect?)#(i think i may need to get several hundred perfect reviews to balance out one bad review)#i also get some 4 star reviews sometimes and im kinda sad that theres never a comment so idk what was wrong w it?#like if im perfectly satisfied w an order id leave 5 stars so i have to assume theres smthing missing but they never say#but yknow. 4 stars is still good
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nothing pisses me the fuck off like incompetency
#timothy's txts.#STOP FUCKING TALKING ATOP FUCKING SAYING THINGS IN THE HEADSET WHEN IM TRYING TO TAKE A FUCKING ORDER#also like i gettt itttttttt#i KNOW you don’t control being able to understand things#but you don’t NEED to be more complicated with customers#just fucking listen to what they are saying oh my fucking GODDDDDD#also if you’re a shift leader just fucking. trust your guys in the floor#don’t overwhelm us but like. we’re not fucking babies we know how to fucking cover for each other#for the love of god take your lunch on time so WE DONT HAVE TO STAY LONGER THAN OUR SHIFT#JUST TO WAIT FOR YOU TO GET BACKKKKK OH MY GODDD#i will forgive so much genuinely. GENUINELY. but i get fucking PISSED at this…..#anyways. i’m normal again#and i love my coworkers and don’t hate anyone ever#tw caps
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"the difference between a conspiracy and fact is time" isnt always true because some things are just genuinely loony and wrong but. boy oh boy is it true in too many cases
#remember when mass surveillance was considered a crazy conspiracy theory? right. thanks snowden#remember when international elite pedophilie rings and islands were a crazy conspiracy? thanks epstein#remember when mind control and government experimentation on people and Mind Control were a conspiracy? right. thanks mkultra and proof of#postmodernism being infiltrated into everything artificially#remember when saying the war on terror is bullshit and the wars were faught for oil and infleunce would get u called crazy? welpppp yea mos#of us sure agree today. hey. u know theres government documents which talk about funding extremist rebel groups in south america in order t#justify us fucking around? hey. u know how many governments around the world the us collapsed?#.#hey?#what exactly makes the idea that they killed kennedy who was trying to stop the cia bullshit - and then the cia director he fired oversaw#the case crazy? and what makes the idea that they were involed in 911 crazy exactly?#and its allllll coincidence right. right#right...... you notice how with a lotta these fuckin things they ended up being very much true?#...... theyve got no fucking morals and an insanely bad track record#theyre responsable for how many wars deaths genocides rapes tortures coups throughout the world#i dont trust shit and there aint a think i think is too bad for them to do#anyway. ill place my bets on israel knowing the 8th was gonna happen and wanting it to#why fund hamas for years then. and how the fuck did all their intelligence and surveillance and million high tech american inventions miss#this
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rotating akechi in my brain so hard
im afraid to try my hand at actually writing him but oh he is in my head. he's crazy. im crazy. and i would let him take my hand and lead me into the depths of our shared craziness
i diagnose him with bpd and he's in love with yet despises the phantoms
#how can they be so GENUINE#after ALL they have SUFFERED#how can they manage to find happiness with each other after all theyve been through. how can they CARE so deeply for others#others who ultimately dont even MATTER to them. others who are USELESS.#positive emotions make him sick yet he desires to feel them- deep down he truly does#at least i think he does. i think some part of him wants to be able to find that kind of happiness#he just doesnt believe he's able#and also he's so full of hatred and self-sabotage#hes like a self-fulfilling prophecy of misery i think#and i dont think thats something hed be capable of fully getting under control#i think hes doomed himself to misery bcs he refuses to try#i dont think hed have the conviction to make himself better-- which is funny bcs he has insane dedication to literally anything else#think thats part of what makes him have extra complicated feelings abt joker specifically#he keeps trying to push him away and joker refuses and it really ruins the self-destruction when those around you wont let themselves#just be pushed away or do whatever thing u want in order to fulfill that negative prophecy yk#im all over the place my head is just all over goro akechi rn bro#「that’s right everybody. it’s your favorite boy.」 ― out of character
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I had a rlly good Judo/BJJ class last night! Ive gotten so used to nogi that actually grappling with the gi on again felt kind of unfamiliar? I was still able to do a lot of my stuff but i really forgot how important gripping with your fingers is, ive gotten so used to body locks and using your whole arm in no gi that trying to pull people in with my hands and wrists feels weird
#i feel like i have a better grasp on what good position means from doing no gi though#bc in no gi to have a solid grip on someone you need to break them down and have leverage#but in gi the order changes first you get grips and then you establish control#but i feel like im starting to understand what throw options i have from different tension points#and on the other hand its really nice to practice my judo in bjj bc if i dont hit a throw well i get pulled into guard so its incentivising#me to really make my techniques crisp and perfect so no one capitalises on my mistakes
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waiting PATIENTLY for one of my bjd preorders to ship. patiently,
#it says this company usually takes 5-6 months. mid august would be 5 so hopefully sometime this month or next !!#the other order will still be a while. also itll probably be ready before i even have it paid off lmao. i think my last payment is january#thats the BIG nine month layaway order. the one that should ship soon is the deer boy to go w my deertaur#(dream valley cedar & doll chateau noah respectively)#i still need to do the faceup & body painting for the deertaur. also name them lmao#i know the design i want to do but the weather has been godawful for it. waaay too humid i cant remember the last time it was below like 70%#& thats being generous lmao. i feel like every time ive checked its been in the 80s but i dont check Every Day so#oh huh. actually its only 73% today lmao. but its also rainyyyyy & my wrist is still too fucked up anyway#depending on when this other one ships ill MAYBE be able to get them both done this year. weather permitting#the others will definitely have to wait until next spring at least. unless we have a really warm period early next year#but if it continues to be Constantly Rainy until it starts getting cold these ones will have to wait until then too...#& then i gotta hope next year isnt the same way. what i wouldnt give for a climate controlled workshop
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