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#but i got some progress in this weekend so i’m back up to mima and mai’s duel
ectoplasmer · 1 year
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i love my boyfriend i love my boyfriend so mych he is so soft and warm and comfy and pretty and
#so bbing into my hands YOUR HONORRRRR#wishing i could bury myself into his arms i am so so normal. let me be completely surrounded by the dumb impulsive dramatic nerd please#still rereading the manga at a snails pace because i have the attention span of a fruit fly#but i got some progress in this weekend so i’m back up to mima and mai’s duel#and. i reread the flashback segment of jou and rishid’s duel. it was very hard to do i won’t lie >_>#it’s hard to do because i hate seeing marik in pain. i hate seeing any of my f/os in pain by extension#and i hate having to actually read what he went through and it’s made worse by how he’s literally shown *shaking* right before the ritual#like. sobs. this poor baby :( he was so tiny…#paced the kitchen for like twenty minutes just to stall even though it’s only three pages long. i’m normal#anyway hand in hand with that. i’m reminded how much of a jerk he can be agdjdhs#new found respect for rishid this read through (even though i definitely already had some before this)#like marik. my love. politely. things would not have gotten this out of hand so quickly if you let the duel end with selket#politely (x2). rishid getting struck down by a god was your fault too >_<#gosh and it’s the whole thing after when everyone is in the medical room with rishid#and they’re talking about how marik ‘abandoned’ him when things got tough#jou talks about how he was the one able to stand first because he had the support of his friends and he didn’t feel alone#that he ‘had friends waiting for him’ while rishid didn’t#and like ??? something about that messes me up so bad because i know he’s right and i know it’s pretty messed up behavior from marik#not that there was much he could do to be there with rishid since. yamima situation but#i don’t know. some part of me still adores that part of his character#the early parts of it before he redeems himself. the parts before he realizes the truth of what really happened with his father#that drive and that recklessness and eagerness to get revenge even at the cost of the ghouls and his brother#it all still comes from some place where he thinks he's doing the right thing even if it's primarily for *himself* rather than the clan#that's always been something i've loved about him. he's so stubborn. he's so determined. he does the stupidest things because of it but#i still adore him all the same for it. i adore him even more when he takes responsibility for it later#i don't remember battle city messing me up this bad but i teared up like five different times during this one duel so. *shrugs*#asghghg i love going back and rereading or rewatching episodes of him... lets me get a better grasp and sometimes a different view for him#just. picks him up and shakes him YOU GIVE ME SO MANY EMOTIONS!! some more negative than others!! but i still love him so so much#probably partially because of that lol. anyway i'm gonna go and. space out thinking of him probably okay bye#with you i feel alive
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