#gosh and it’s the whole thing after when everyone is in the medical room with rishid

[ectoplasmer]

i love my boyfriend i love my boyfriend so mych he is so soft and warm and comfy and pretty and

[justatidalwaveoffeelings]

Ok, so I don't write. I have never written a fanfic. This doesn't have a name and it's probably poorly written. It's Rachel's point of view around the time of Cammie's second kidnapping attempt. I was bored and I had this idea stuck in my head so here it is. I debate not even posting it but what the hey🤷🏼‍♀️

@averagejoesolomon you totally got me hooked on the Rachel only calls Matt, Matthew. So all the credit to you on that one!

This whole thing is basically read at your own risk. Haha

Just like that, what she had left of her world was crumbling. It happened so quickly. Rachel hadn't seen what had happened. She just knew that one moment she had been talking to Cynthia McHenry and the next she felt her instincts as an operative hit her like a swift punch to the gut.

Something was wrong. She looked around the ballroom looking for Cammie but she didn't see her. She didn't see any of her freinds or even that Goode boy. Never one to be dissuaded from her mission, she  decided to look for Abby. She at least she might know where her neice was.

As much as her sister annoyed her, she was happy to have her back in her life. However temporary it might be. She was aware how an operative's life gets crazy. She knew her sister was dedicated but she didn't know how far they would be pulled apart when she stepped out of the field after Matthew's passing. They had just recently talked about why there hadn't been much contact between the two of them in recent years. Why Abby had walked farther away from Rachel and Cammie and deeper into her various covers. Rachel knew the guilt the came with losing Matthew. The countless nights that kept her up thinking about what might have happened if she told if him to stay home. If she had pulled the "wife card" and asked him not to keep secrets. She knew that Abby had been hurt. Rachel had never lived through anything harder. It didn't surprise her that everyone else who also loved him felt the same. When he died there was a very real whole in each of their hearts. She had suspected Abby just didn't know how to miss Matthew with her. After all, her sister had never been one to grieve in front of others. Rachel hadn't know just how deep routed her sister's guilt and regret had dragged her. Rachel regretted not going to get her baby sister back sooner after Matthew's passing but she hadn't wanted to press Abby too hard in a time of grief for both of them.

Now, if only she could FIND HER.  Her sister always had a knack for being where she wasn't supposed be. So, if Rachel could think if the most inconvenient spot for someone to be she might find her.

When she had finished looking around the ballroom the hair on the back of her neck started to stand on end. She felt a cold sweat start. Her blouse was too tight. She pulled at her collar and silently chastised herself being so obviously uncomfortable. Rachel wanted to tell her instincts to shut up, that nothing was wrong. She knew better though, something was off.

She felt eyes. She pretended to check her make-up in a small compact while checking behind her. She locked on a familiar pair of green eyes staring back at her. Of course he was there. She had just checked the whole room and hadn't spotted him once. If Joe was about to poke fun about her being off now was not the time. When she turned to face him she realized that he wore an expression just as grim as her own.

"You got the same sick feeling in your gut?"

Before she could respond something seemed to dawn on Joe.

"Where's Cammie, Rachel?"

"I don't know. I've been looking for her, or her roommates. Even Abby."

"Zach". Joe mumbled the boy's name. "He's probably with her, right? Did you see them slip out?"

"No, well maybe, but if I knew that I wouldn't be so gosh darn worried now would I, Joseph?!" She hadn't meant to snap but she was feeling worse by the second. Now her instincts seemed to be at work on her stomach.

When the shot went off they didn't question where it had come from. They didn't need to wait for some sort of command. Old habits did truly die hard.  They were across the ballroom in seconds. Not drawing the attention of a single onlooker. They slipped out the back door into a dark ally. The Circle. They were there. Beside her Joe started to speak into thier comms unit. There was a big problem. Rachel looked for Cammie. She was being snagged back down the ally, toward the safety of the door by Zach. Neirher of them was bleeding. She was able to breath agian. The bullet could have been a warning shot. It didn't feel that way though. Where did it land?

She brought herself back to the scene. They were after her daughter and she had to protect her daughter. The kids were fighting like operatives. That was something the headmistress in her couldn't have missed and was quietly proud of. Now only if they could all get out of it. Other gallagher girls rushed out beside her, ready for the fight, ready to protect Cammie.

The second that Rachel could she ran at Cam. Yelling Cammie's name she threw herself against her daughter, deeper into the shadows of other gallagher girls. Farther into safety. Only after the immediate securing of Cammie did Rachel realize that people were still screaming. It was Macey standing over.....

Abby. Abby. Abigail. She knew Cammie was secured. Joe would help make sure of it. She needed to get to her sister. She needed to help her sister. She was bleeding from the shoulder, there was so much blood pooling beneath her. Rachel couldn't breathe. She couldn't catch her breathe. Rachel had always been cool under fire; a natural operative. This felt so different. The operative in her was mad for missing the fight. For not getting there in time. The mother in her was scared and hurting for her daughter. The sister in her felt cheated and so very crushed. She couldn't lose Abby on top of everything else. Her heart beat to one terrible pulse-  She was not ready to lose anymore family. She dropped to her knees beside her sister. She didn't know if she had told Macey to go back to her roommates but she got up and walked away. Rachel pressed some leather jacket into her sister's wound. She didn't realize that she was crying until she saw her own tears falling on Abby's face. Rachel was screaming. She really. couldn't. breath. She heard screaming and crying in the background. Cammie. She couldn't take this or rather she didn't want to. Her sister way dying in front of her and her daughter was being emotionally tormented. She debating getting up, but she couldn't stop crying. She didn't want Cammie to see her so emotionally distraught and she couldn't bring herself to her feet. Cammie would have to be strong.

Joe was on the seeminly knew what she was thinking because instead of coming toward Abby he commanded the women around Cammie. Keeping her safe. Cammie's sobbing became softer. Rachel's didn't.

She didn't get up when the paramedic team arrived. She wasn't going to leave Abby. She couldn't lose her. She didn't feel like a good operative in control. She felt like a big sister, weak from all that crying. She felt Joe behind her. Pulling her up from her knees. Trying to tell her to let go of Abby's hand. She forced Joe to let go of her arms. Desperate to be the one who fixed it. To do something, anything. All she could do was tell the medic what she saw, and tell Abby that she was going to be ok.

When she turned back around he was there. Teary but not crying yet.

"She's strong. She'll pull through". He tried to reassure her but his voice shook. His hand on her arm felt unsteady. Joe never cried. It was going to be a long night. She had to keep busy. She went to check on her daughter. She couldn't lose any more of her family. 

Rachel saw the footage. She knew in that it all happened in a few minutes. It felt like this night would never end. She watched that security footage obsessively outside of her office, sitting on the corridor floor with her head on the wall, right underneath Gilligan's sword. Cavan's sword. Maybe Abby was right. They should have thrown it in the lake. Her daughter was asleep inside her office, away from danger for now. Abby was in surgery. Abby might of died. Abby could still die. Every time she let herself linger on that fact she felt like crying all over again. So, she didn't let herself think of it. She watched the security clip again waiting and watching for a clue. Something. She couldn't truly focus on it though. She was too tired or emotionally distraught. It didn't matter the reason, she knew that a truly great operative had to know when to wave her white flag. In that moment she didn't even feel a little guilty about turning off the video.

Joe stepped out of her office. She did a double take, the last time she had seen him look that way was the night he told her about Matthew. He had been crying. Joe Solomon does not cry. There he was though. He face was streaked eith tears and his shoulders shook slightly. She braced herself for the worse but he just stood there. He looked awful. She moved forward to give him a hug. She couldn't help herself, she started crying again too. Rachel hated to cry in front of anyone but she figured that this secret was safe with him, just like any of the other she had shared with him.  She was thankful that she had a freind in him. Thankful that someone else loved Cammie and was willing to fight for her. 

After a moment they separated and sat down on the corridor floors.

"I'm so sorry Rachel. I'm so so sorry."

"For what?"

"For everything."

"Joe. After everything that's happened tonight, we are not going over this again..  Its not your fault". Joe started to cry again. Rachel hadn't seen Joe cry so much. She couldn't resist asking him

"What?"

He looked at her pitifully. "You don't know whats my fault, belive me. I.... I think you should think it's my fault."

She wasn't suprised that he was saying these things. She knew of course that he felt guilty. Matt went on the mission he was supposed to. She just wished that he didn't get so hung up on it.

He continued "This never would have happened if Matt were here. He would have taken care of it, you know?"

Of course she didn't know that to be true but she had felt it as well. She didn't want to dwell on what it could have been so she told him that they didn't know that. That he couldn't control who the director sent on that mission. The circle might have come after Cammie even if Matt was alive. Matthew was just a human being, who made mistakes. They didn't know if Matthew being alive would change everything. Joe didnt seem convinced though and Rachel couldn't blame him. It was well worn territory in a familiar conversation. They didnt truly fight, but when it came to blame about Matthews death they didn't exactly see eye to eye. Rachel thought about Matt. It struck her though that as bad as it was at times it could also be worse. Rachel thought about losing Cammie or Abby or even Joe and shuddered. She didn't want to lose anymore family.

She tried to reassure him

"Hey, it will be ok. We will take care of it together ok? We'll all take care of one another. We will do the best we can. Just promise me we will try. Ok?"

Joe had stopped crying but his attention seemed to be drifting.

"I'll try...ok?" It sounded so defeated. Rachel didn't want to press him further. Everyone had already had such a rough night. She let the conversation go until he quipped.

"I feel like I should be telling you these things."

They couldn't help each giving a small laugh

They sat there. They waited for a doctor to come tell them that Abby would make it. They sat and waited for Cammie to wake up. Theorized ways to keep her out of harms way. They talked about surviving. All of them. Together.

Rachel rested in knowing that at least for that day. She wasn't losing any more family. 

[thewildwaffle]

Allergies

Requested by mytasteinmusic on Ao3

The humans were throwing food. Why? Well, Kahpi sighed, it was anyone’s guess really. For whatever reason, they were making some sort of game out of it. One human would grab a small piece of food and toss it high up into the air and another human would attempt to catch it in their mouths and eat it. For the cleaning team’s sake, she was glad all the foods that were being thrown seemed to be fairly self-contained and held together well even after being thrown. The foods in question started out as colorful candies the humans had brought along with them from Earth. They had been searched and scanned for possible allergens and dangers they could pose to other races that would be on the ship. Kahpi, as head Food Safety Inspector, had overseen the process herself. Some human food could, after all, cause anything from slight to severe damage and trauma to digestive and respiratory tracts of different species that also worked on the ship. This meant that foods that were only safe for human consumption had to be stored and prepared separately from other food supplies, or if they were exceptionally dangerous, banned altogether. The colorful candies being thrown around now, for instance, were safe to be on the ship, but under the multi-colored exteriors was a concoction that contained theobromine and caffeine. The humans called it chocolate. They loved the stuff and used it in a wide array of foods. It was safe for them in modest amounts, and as long as they kept it to themselves, they were allowed to have it. Once the colorful candies were all consumed, and dropped pieces taken care of, the humans moved on to throwing other foods. Pretty much whatever they had in their meal: diced fruit, ripped bits of bread crusts, chunks of vegetables, etc.

Kahpi kept her eyes on their antics as she also made her rounds in the ship’s cafeteria. As boisterous as they could be, their games were no reason for her to fall behind in her own duties. It was, as the saying goes, not her spilled bucket of eesaling to guard. If they wanted to goof off on their own time, that wasn’t her business. As long as it didn’t cause harm to anyone else. Usually by sharing their food with other races without clearance or supervision, they were fine. In any case, it seemed that their food throwing gag was starting to die down. They returned to eating their meals normally, laughing and joking around loudly with each other as was the norm. Kahpi was thankful that few of the crewmembers that regularly spent their time with the humans were not of races that could boast similar skill of great aim and power while throwing. That would help deter others to pick up the food-throwing in the future. Just as Kahpi was wrapping up and about to leave, she overheard a disturbance from the humans. They all started speaking or shouting at once. “Dude! What the- what’s happening to your face?” “Oh my gosh!“ "What’s going on? I think I’m going to throw up!” “Carlton, you’re breaking out!” Kahpi looked over to the humans were now starting to rise from their seats, onsets of panic starting to creep into their body language. “Are you allergic to something?” “I don’t think so?” “What is it? What have you eaten?” “I don’t know, I’ve never had allergies before!” “Oh frewan, some of the m&ms had peanuts! Are you allergic to nuts?” “I don’t know! I used to eat peanut butter all the time as a kid!” “Could it be the nuts?” “I don’t know, I don’t know what else it could have been!” “Chris, you have allergies, right? What do we do?!” Alarmed by the humans’ reaction, Kahpi, as well as several others that were in the cafeteria, approached cautiously to see if any aid could be given. Whatever could spook a group of humans so badly must be dealt with quickly and conclusively. As she approached, one of the humans, Chris, ran off and disappeared down a nearby corridor. She paused. Was he fleeing? And if so, what from? Should she flee as well? The other humans weren’t running, at least not yet. Instead, they were gathering around Human Carlton, who, now that Kahpi had gotten closer and could see more clearly, did not look like he was well. His skin, usually the color of a richly tanned deygbah hide, looked splotchy and red. His eyes were unusually watery and swollen. In fact, everything about him was starting to look just a little bit swollen in parts. Kahpi’s second stomach dropped. Carlton was going to die! “Come on guys, back up a bit, give him some room!” Human Macy, the newest human to the crew, had everyone shuffle back so Carlton could lie down. Kahpi was just about to bolt down one of the corridors nearby that she knew would lead her to the med bay, in her panic forgetting that she had her comm device, when Chris returned from where he’d run off to, carrying a short cylindrical container tightly in his fist. Everyone parted in the small gathering crowd to let him in. He slid on his knees and stopped right next to Carlton who was now lying on his back. With a pull at the wider, blue-colored end, Chris plunged the device into his companion’s thigh. Kahpi could hear a small click and Chris held the device firmly in place for a few tiks. As he pulled the device away, Chris looked up and his eyes met with Kahpi’s. “Get a medic here now,” He said calmly but with an intensity that snapped Kaphi out of her trance. Within a few moortiks, Medics Jeebarul and Minti were loading Carlton onto a stretcher and taking him back to the med bay, Chris and Kahpi were allowed to follow. Later, after a discussion with the humans, medics, and the captain, Kahpi learned that it was indeed a food allergy that had caused this whole mess. The colorful candies that had been okayed for human consumption were to blame, particularly the ones that contained an Earth food called “peanuts.” Alarmed at the news, Kahpi pulled up the files she had access to on the humans. Compared to other species on the ship, and throughout the entire galaxy for that matter, humans had a relatively short list of known allergens. Of the humans on the ship, her records only stated that Humans Chris and Ricardo had allergies. Shellfish and animal dander, respectively. Worried that she had failed in her duty of food safety, she scanned Carlton’s files over and over. “I don’t understand,” her voice trembled slightly as the captain frowned at her, “There’s nothing here. No known allergens.” The captain’s fins pulled back tightly against his face. “Then what happened? What was all that?” Chris, who had returned from helping the medics get Carlton settled, responded, “We’re pretty sure it was the peanuts. It’s the only thing that makes sense.” “But my records-” “Say that he doesn’t have a peanut allergy, yeah,” Chris interrupted, “but that just means he hasn’t been tested for it. He’s had no need to. He didn’t know. He didn’t use to be allergic to peanuts, but now as an adult, he is. Somehow, he hasn’t eaten anything with peanuts or peanut oil or whatever for years, so unluckily, he had no idea he was allergic.” He paused. “Or maybe it was lucky? I mean, we had an epipen on hand and he’s okay now, and now he knows so… I guess it was kind of lucky?” “What do you mean he wasn’t allergic before?” Kahpi sputtered. “That doesn’t make sense! How is he allergic now?” Chris shrugged. “It happens sometimes. You can develop an allergy to something later in life that used to be okay. No one really knows why.” Both Kahpi and the captain stared at him for a moment. The captain was the first to regain composure. “Well, I suppose it was fortunate that the medics had a supply of these… ‘epi-pens’ stocked.” He hesitated a moment in thought and then nodded to the cylinder that was still in Chris’ hand. “I suppose we better request more of those, just in case. What exactly do they do?” Chris lifted the ‘epipen’ up for better observation. “It’s got a dose of epinephrine in it. It’s adrenaline, so it constricts blood vessels and speeds up the heart so blood pressure rises and it helps relax muscles in your airway so you can breathe again.” They both stared at him. After an uncomfortable silence, Chris added, “It’s not very fun. But it keeps you alive until doctors can help.” The captain had a few more questions, both for Chris and for the medics when they came back out. All the while, Kahpi had time to try to ponder on and digest all the new information and implications this would bring to her job. Allergens were a thing among many species, yes. That’s why she had the job she had. However, few, if any that she could think of right now, had allergies that were caused by foods FROM THEIR OWN PLANET OF ORIGIN! Not only that, but some allergens were safe to eat for one human, but not another?! Where is the reason for that? What evolutionary purpose could that possibly serve for a species? Or was it just some weird fluke, one of so so many, that humans just came with? She buried her face in her hands. Well, this whole thing was going to throw a bit more complications to her job now. Apparently even human food wasn’t always safe for humans. Go. Flargin’. Figure.

[kritzkrieg-kiss]

Oooo!! A new writer! You seem quite good thus far! So, question, how would the Mercenaries react to worms on a string? Who has a billion, who gives them legs, etc. I’m curious as to what would happen if the mercs were given worms on a string. Thanks!

Oh sure, personally I think it'd be a lot of fun!

Mercs are given worm-on-a-string!

Scout: Scout would be the one to dive into it head-first with everything he's got. He got all the books, learned all the tricks, he got really good at it too. Like REALLY good. He even considered quitting his job as a mercenary and going pro. This went on for about a week and a half before he put it down and never picked it up again.

Soldier: Can't quite get the hang of all the tricks but thinks they're just so gosh darn cute! He ordered a few hundred and has since been hanging them in random places. They have been found in the communal fridge, hanging off the showerheads, in the intel briefcase, in Sniper's camper, hanging from his rocket launcher, and dispensed from the dispensers to name a few.

Pyro: New pets! Puts them in the same cage as his pet breadmonster, though it doesn't seem to mind very much. Will sometimes leash 'em up and take them on walks around the base.

Demo: He thinks they're a little bit ridiculous. However, this did not stop him from getting into an argument and eventually a bet with Soldier to see if he could make the ultimate worm-on-a-string beaded curtain. He worked at it all day and stayed up all night, he even went so far as to skip a couple matches to finish it. After 6 days of painstaking handiwork, his abomination was complete. 12ft wide, 9,627 worms. He won $80 and the thing never saw the light of day again.

Heavy: Thinks they're just the cutest things in the whole wide world! When he's not out murdering people or organizing custom-tooled cartridges, he make little clothes for them and sets them up in dioramas. He's made scenes of weddings, birthday parties, a bar mitzvah, and one of the whole team as little worms capping a little point.

Engie: Finds them intriguing. For a man with a metal hand, he has a natural knack for doing all the little tricks with ease. He keeps a red one in the pocket of his overalls at all times, named it Curtis. Whenever he makes his way into town, he'll pass by the park where all the kids play and put on a little show for them. On days where he has time, he might even teach them how to make Curtis do a little worm dance for themselves.

Medic: Oh dear God, what has he done. Who let him know these things existed?! They were all supposed to keep it a secret! But alas, it's too late. He's aready constructed a singular, horrifying, 200ft long worm-on-a-string. It stayed in the locker room cramped in a dark corner, its beady eyes tracking everyone as they moved about. Until after a week when it disappeared without a trace. No one moved it, no one touched it. No one knows why and Medic won't tell.

Sniper: Can't stand the bloody things. He doesn't find them creepy or anything, but just the sheer amount he's found scattered around the base (and in his bed, thanks Soldier) and his teammates' newfound obsession with them is starting to drive him up the wall a bit. He never verbally expressed his frustration, but every few days when the whole team steps outside, they swear they can smell burning plastic.

Spy: He claims to have no interest in something so childish. The team likes to tease him about it, looping worms around his neck and making them dance on his shoulders, but he just shrugs it off. Until one night when Heavy accidentally walked in on him trying (and failing) to get the hang of gliding a little pink worm between his long, elegant fingers. They agreed to never speak of it again.

Well this one certainly was odd but I still hope you enjoyed it! 💛

[oboevallis]

runaway

hey it’s been a hot minute, not really sure what this is ive have it in my drafts for a while, but i feel like everyone’s written this 😂 but i wanted to post something at least also ‘who is he?’ part 4 will be coming out soon hope everyone’s doing well

“It’s always been her, hasn’t it?” Amelia’s voice wavered as she struggled to keep her composure.

“I didn’t sleep with her!” Link exclaimed, slurring his words. “I just stayed with her.”

“Whenever something goes wrong between us you always go running to Jo. Just get it over with and fuck her already! She’ll be all the things I’m not.”

“You have no right to be mad. I poured my heart out to you, I’ve been planning for months on proposing to you. I love you Amelia Shepherd, but your so damn self destructive you’re ruining this for the both of us. I’ve done everything you’ve wanted this is just one thing I wanted. If anything I should be mad, but I’m being the bigger person.”

“You’re being the bigger person?” Amelia chuckled in disbelief. “Talk to me again when you’re sober.”

“Who said I wasn’t sober?”

“Please, part of Jo’s help sessions always result in the two of you downing a bottle of whiskey, which is an incredibly unhealthy coping mechanism.” As she said this she was aggressively packing her clothes in a suitcase.

“Not everyone’s a fucking alcoholic. Not everyone has to sit an a room with fucked up strangers complaining about their lives, when they did that to themselves.”

“You think I wanted to be snorting oxy off of the reception desk of a medical practice while I’ll my friends watched? Or stealing my brothers car and crashing it trying to find drugs? I thought you were different but you’re just like Owen.” That’s the last thing she said before walking into their sons nursery and scooping with up.

“You can’t take Scout.”

“I can because you’re drunk out of your mind, I don’t even know why I’m talking to you.”

“Where are you going?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Amelia yelled before slamming the door behind her. She fought to get the baby in his car seat, she couldn’t seem to catch a break. She needed to get away, she needed to go back to her original refuge.

“Come on Scout, can we cooperate for mommy?” Amelia begged, fighting off tears as her son kicked and screamed. Despite being a movement baby he hated the car, specifically the car seat since no one could hold him. Eventually the baby was secured, and he quickly fell asleep, as he realized how he exhausted himself after his tantrum. Three hours into the drive Amelia immediately started to regret this, it was a 17 hour drive, and she was doing it alone with a baby who just barely turned one. No, she was doing this, she needed to. She’d be sure to take as many breaks as she needed. This was what needed to be done for her and her sons well-being.

After two hotel visits and countless stops along I-5 S she found herself in LA standing outside her sisters door, but couldn’t bring herself to knock. She knew Addison loved her but she couldn’t help already feeling the subtle condescension. ‘How have you already managed to screw this up?’ ‘I love you Amy, I do, but isn’t this a little extreme?’ ‘You’re clean, right? Because I’ll take you back right this minute’

Quickly she turned around to go back to her car to think about her next game plan before a voice stopped her.

“Amy?” Amelia jerked back around to be met with Addison’s confused yet comforting smile.

“Umm I’m vaccinated, but I got tested if that makes you more comfortable. I’m negative I-I just needed to get put of Seattle.”

“I know the feeling.” The older woman chuckled holding the door open wider to allow the two to come in. “Now let me hold my new nephew!” She squealed as she held her arms out for the baby, soaking in his tiny stature. “I miss when Henry was this little.”

“Where is the little guy? It’s awfully quiet.”

“They went camping, Henry’s been stir crazy for over a year and it seemed safe enough for the two to go away.”

“I’m sure Jake was thrilled.” Amelia smirked thinking back to the time the practice went on a camping trip together and Jake had almost refused to go hence his disdain for the wilderness.

“You know it.” Addison joked along, playing with the baby’s tiny fingers. The older woman then lead the way back onto the deck and settled on a lounge chair under an umbrella. Amelia followed behind and took out sunscreen from the diaper bag she was sure to pick up once they got to LA. “He’s absolutely adorable Amelia.”

“Thanks.” Amelia smiled as she lathered the baby’s extremities with sunscreen.

“Gosh i just want to eat him up.” Addison pretended to bite into him, causing the baby to shriek with laughter. Cracking the first genuine smile the neurosurgeon had since after Maggie’s wedding. “You know I was talking to Charlotte a little while ago and she mentioned she was going to go to a meeting if you want to go meet up with her, she still goes to the one near the pier.”

“Thank you, Addison.” It now felt silly to have been scared to talk to Addison, she always knew how to help the neurosurgeon. “Are you sure you’re okay to watch him?”

“More than okay.” Addison beamed, running her hand through the baby’s hair. “And even if you stayed I still wouldn’t let this little guy go.”

“I love you Addie.”

“Love you too Amy.” Addison assured as the woman walked out to her car, it’d be a lie if she said she wasn’t worried for her little sister. But she was reaching out for help, she wasn’t sure what the issue was but she was immensely proud she came to her and not a baggie of pills.

_______________________________________

“Don’t you think you should call her?” Jo asked as she prepared a bottle for Luna.

“No.” Link coldly said, cradling the baby in his arms.

“At least for Scout’s sake?”

“He’s fine, looking back Amelias made it very clear she’s the only parent that matters or gets a say.” Link bitterly replied.

“I’m sure it isn’t like that.” As much as she loved her dear friend, he couldn’t see where he also went wrong in this situation. “She loves you.”

“Not enough to marry me.”

“She isn’t ready.”

“Her and Hunt were off and on, and she accepted his proposal.”

“First off she had a brain tumor, and because of said brain tumor she impulsively asked him to marry her. She thinks clearly now, and I think she just wants it to work out and be right.” Jo turned around and sighed as she saw her friends annoyed look. “You’ve never been a marriage guy, where is this even coming from?”

“I don’t know it just feels right, i don’t want to lose her.”

“Your gonna lose her if you push her into this.”

“I move mountains for her, I’ve adjusted my whole life for her. It’s just one thing, one thing that I want.”

“Link are you stupid? This isn’t fighting over what couch you get this determines the rest of your life. And marriage isn’t all that, it doesn’t keep a person there.” Jo sighed, since adopting Luna she’d been thinking a lot about her ex husband, and how stupid the concept of marriage was.

________________________________________

“Has he called?” Addison cautiously asked as Amelia fed her baby.

“Nope.” Amelia popped the ‘p’. “I get that he hates me now, but I thought he’d at least check in on Scout.”

“He’s just upset.”

“I know, I just thought he understood. He’s nothing like Owen but since we moved into his apartment I just feel suffocated like I did when we were married.”

“Have you tried talking to someone, professionally?” Addison inquired, leaning further back onto the beach chair.

“What so they can silently judge how I have a perfect life but still feel terrible?”

“Amy, you know a therapist isn’t going to think that, their there to help you without judgement.” She stared at the woman for awhile until she came to a realization. “After Scout was born you didn’t have any postpartum appointments did you?”

“No, the world had shut down a week after he was born.” Amelia confirmed.

“Do you think your having a delayed postpartum depression reaction? I mean you were thrown into taking care of a newborn and three other kids who aren’t yours in complete isolation . Then On top of that you didn’t have time to grieve Christopher. It’s difficult on women who have lost a child previously when they bring home a healthy baby.” Amelia held back her tears, as much as she tried to focus on scout she couldn’t help but feel broken over the fact Christopher didn’t have the opportunities scout has.

“Pre-covid a day wouldn’t go by that I didn’t think of Christopher. Then I just got so caught up in everything, and I’d barely think about him. I mean I almost forgot his birthday.”

“You can’t feel guilty about that.”

“I j-just wish Link would get that I don’t want another baby.I mean he’s ten times more understanding than Owen was about my grief but, I just don’t want another baby.”

“You’re allowed to not want another baby, but do you think it has to do with Christopher?”

“I don’t think so, I just can’t love yet another person without losing myself. It feels like I already have, I don’t recognize anything about me. Surgery doesn’t even give me the thrill it use to.” The older women sat up and placed a reassuring hand on the younger ones knee.

“I’m gonna talk to Violet and have her refer someone to you. Then you’re gonna talk to Link and come up with a game plan. And I’m gonna be right here the whole time, you’re my family. Everyone here is your family we’ve got you.”

[raeisgrayte]

Must Be Fa(e)te~ Chapter One

There was a fable my mother used to tell me all the time when I was a little girl. It was about a regal queen, a noble monarch who lead her people with pride, though I always thought the princess was my favorite character. She was a warrior who fought in the great war against the human realm. She was someone who stood up for what she thought was right, like fighting against the humans polluting the beautiful springs that the merfolk of Wellspring lived in. The best part about the princess though, was her rainbow wings. My mother told of how the princess only used them when absolutely necessary. She was more of a walking girl, she liked taking walks through the forest's abundant beauty. She was magical, too magical. That's how I knew my mom was making this up as she went.

I only wish it were true, then maybe I could actually blame a real life person for making me the homosexual I am today. Instead when people ask about my "awakening" I have to tell them I fell in love with a made-up fairy princess when I was 3. Usually they giggle and agree that they knew it at a young age too, but some want to know more about the story. I always tell them, it's a good story after all. It leaves my lips turned up in a smile afterwards, thinking about magic and gay shit.

God how I yearn for some excitement around this town. We all just walk around with somewhere to go. I never saw someone stop by to smell the roses unless they were with a loved one. I let out a large sigh, putting my left hand on the wooden counter in my grandfather's pop up flower shop, Love You Florever. It was a play on the word floral, but I think everyone I tell about the flower shop understands, I just want to make sure. There are the people who give me a strange look and then those who seem genuinely happy that my grandfather was such a punster. I miss him.

I hear the ding of the bell before I can go into one of those really sad moments where I start thinking about all the lovely memories I had with my grandad. I will not be having a sad montage in my head today! Not after what happened last time. I'm still stuck in my thoughts, trying to be funny, when I hear someone clear their throat. I cringe at how awkward I must look right now laughing at my own jokes, inside my head. "Ahaha, heyyyyyy, welcome to Love You Florever! Would you like to-" My brain short circuits when I finally meet the gaze of the goddess who has stepped foot into the shop. Oh lawdy I'm about to faint. She has beautiful almond brown eyes with a mole under her left eye. I'm drawn to the envious length of her lashes and how they brush gently against her cheeks as she blinks. She has short ebony hair that shimmers in the setting sunlight. Her lips curve up in a smile and she tilts her head curiously.

"Would I like to what?" She teases, a small laugh leaving her mouth. That's it, I give up. If there is a God I'm coming to visit you real soon. This girl was beautiful and her voice is so smooth I thought my brain was oozing out of my ears. I feel my face start to flush from embarrassment.

"Oh-um, sorry. I have trouble thinking sometimes." I laugh and scratch the back of my neck nervously.

"Like a medical thing?" She questions, her eyes flashing with concern like she had offended me. My eyes go wide and I shoot out my hand shaking it in a 'no' manor.

"No no no no, oh god no! You're fine, I  mean like my brain just-" I hit my head softly to insinuate that I'm just a dumb gay bitch, "you know, doesn't work? Especially around pretty women- I mean," I drag my hand down my face. "Fuck." I whisper through gritted teeth. This makes her laugh loudly, so much that she wipes her eyes. She lays a hand down on the counter and grins at me.

"Thank you and I totally get the whole brain malfunction thing." She smirks as her eyes search my face. I feel like she's trying to indirectly tell me something. After an awkward amount of silence she bends her other hand at the wrist in the viral tik-tok "hey I'm gay" gesture. If this were a movie I'd look into the camera as everything pauses and I'd say oh my god, a gay.

I shake my head in understanding now. "Ah." I squeeze my eyes shut and let out a small chuckle. "I'm so sorry, um, would you like to buy anything?" I ask with a smile. I was running the store after all. I had to try to make some money. Her lips lift in a big smile and she suddenly looks nervous.

"Well, actually I came in here because you were the only flower I saw in here." First off, rude. She covers her face as a blush starts to form. Second of all, awww. I didn't really know what to say. I mean I could tell she was trying to hit on me, but her game was a little off. We'd just met and I don't know if she's a killer or something- oh who am I kidding?

"Oh really? That sounds about right to me." I smile as her face lights up.

"Oh gosh! I was so nervous but also confident that you weren't straight. I was so scared that I had misjudged you and there would be this whole thing-" Bo Burnham's Welcome to the Internet starts playing and I scramble to find my phone. I look at her apologetically as I finally find my phone buzzing in my back pocket. I see that it's my mom calling me, she knows I'm working the store today. I instantly answer it and turn away from the girl.

"Ello stinky, what are you doing calling me at work?" I ask in a posh British accent. I wait for my mom to reply, but all I hear is silence. Oh my goodness, did she butt dial me? "Mom? Are you there?" A whisper of anxiety drips into my stomach.

"Oralee, did you use my shampoo?" The sound of her voice calms the panic and I roll my eyes simultaneously. Funny how that works. Her shampoo?

"Are you talking about when I took a shower this morning? The strawberry stuff?" I question. I can almost hear my mother's annoyed groan.

"Yes the strawberry stuff, you know I'm going on a date tonight. My hair has to smell like strawberries! You know this." I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose.

"I didn't know you were going on a date tonight. When did that happen? I thought you were done with men and no I didn't use your shampoo." I reply curtly. I hear some shuffling around in the background and then it clears.

"Listen you know I haven't been getting any-"

"Mom! Oh my god! Shut up shut up!" I yell into the phone. I shudder with disgust at the thought of my mom speaking like she was a teen again. I hear her laughing at my pain and I almost hang up. "I cannot believe you, what is wrong with you!?"

"Hey nothing is wrong with me okay? I'm just a bisexual mother who needs two or three people to comfort me in the ways of the b o d y." She whispers the last part and I feel my whole body want to shrivel up and die.

"I cannot believe you. You're a tyrant." I hiss.

"But you love me." She quips.

"Yeah, I do. Now I have to go mom, I have a customer." I smile as I turn around.

"Ooou! Tell me all about her when you get home! Love you!" She yells and before I can ask her how she knew it was a girl she hangs up. I finally look up but the girl that was there before is now gone. I close my eyes and groan. There's goes any hope at living a happy life with a beautiful wife and a dog. I flop down in my swivel chair and continue to watch all the people walk past my beautiful flowers. Everyone was too busy getting somewhere, but I knew one day they'd rush in through my doors wanting some romantic flowers. I close my eyes and take in a deep breath. Yeah, that day will come.

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"Lee do you like this one?" My mother holds up a small red dress with a low v-neck. Her eyebrows wiggle and I can tell she really likes this one.

"Well, let's see it on." I grin as she giddily runs into her ensuite bathroom and shuts the door. I lay back on her bed wishing I had asked that girl to wait for me to finish my phone call. Oh well, I guess it wasn't meant to be. Like most situations with girls, it never ended well for me. There was that time I had a major crush on the barista that worked in the Starbucks across the street from the shop. I convinced myself she had to be gay with how many rings and piercings she had. Turns out that was just how she liked to express herself and I learned quickly that assuming makes an ass out of you and me. You should never place feelings or sexualities on someone you don't know. You shouldn't even do that to someone you do know. Such as myself, I don't like to label myself as bisexual or lesbian, I'm more off the grid I guess. I like men okay, but then some days I will literally vomit at the thought of the male touch. It changes with the breeze to be honest. I just enjoy people's company and if something happens then I guess it does. Though, it never has. My mom has told me the day will come when I want to go serious with someone, but I'm pretty sure she was drunk when she told me that. Honestly I wish I was drunk when she told me that because then I wouldn't have to think that I'm such a failure at this romance shit.  

"So? What do we think?" Mom spins out of the bathroom and into the last bit of sunlight shining through her window. Wow, she looks absolutely gorgeous. I can't help but cover my mouth to hide the smile I have. The dress brushes at her knees and curves up her hips to support her larger than average chest.

"You look gross." I purse my lips and put on my best mean girl face on. She laughs and pushes my shoulder.

"Thanks Lee, I'll be heading out soon. Make sure you take care of Mirage, you know how she likes to let us know when we didn't feed her." I nod and watch as she goes to get ready for a night out. I didn't really care if she went out, I was used to being alone. In fact I appreciated some alone time here and there like everyone else. It was comforting to just be able to scream musical songs without the fear my mom would come join me.

"I'm going to head into my room!" I call into the bathroom. I hear her hum in acknowledgement so I turn on my heel and head towards her door. Mirage, our ragdoll cat purrs as she wraps her body around my legs, nearly tripping me. I grin and bend down to pet her. "Hey girl, you saying bye to mom too? She's going out to find some relief. She's been stressed lately for some reason, but we're going to behave and be nice to her. Right?" Mirage mews at me and I can tell there is nothing behind those eyes. She was just happy to be here. I chuckle and stroke her head. I decide to pick her up and take her with me into my room. I struggle to open my bedroom door with Mirage in my arms, but manage finally to swing open the door. I sigh as I smell the mango air freshener. I set Mirage down on my pink comforter that has a white swirling pattern. Mirage plops down with her muzzle burrowed under the blanket. I smile to myself, it's been a pretty nice Saturday.

I was about to sit down in my desk chair to chill and play some Minecraft, but I realize that I need to close my curtains or else I'm going to forget it all together and I know I'll curse myself in the morning if I don't do it now. I sigh and walk over to my two windows. The purple curtains flutter in the ac gracefully, almost like they're dancing. I grab hold of one of them ready to shut, but as I happen to look out of my window I start to notice someone in the middle of the road. A chill runs down my spin, it was creepy for someone to just be standing there. They could be waiting for someone I guess, but why in the middle of the road? There's a low feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I can't help the peak of curiosity I also feel. After all, my mother was about to go out, I want to make sure she'll be safe. It was a wonderful yet horrible thing that my curiosity would get the best of me every time. I'd so be the first one in a horror movie to just open a random door and get shanked. Anyway, that's not what we should be thinking about right now.

I pear out the glass to try and get a better look at this mystery person. I study their frame, noticing that their back is to me. I tilt my head to try and get a better look, but my eyes widen when I see what looks like them turning their head to look right at me. I audibly gasp as I stumble backwards and trip over the corner of my desk. I thud to the ground and curse under my breath. I rub my back where I hit it on my desk chair. What the fuck was that? I must be so tired I'm starting to see things. I sigh and then laugh at myself. Oralee Turner you cannot just manifest some person in the middle of the road looking right at you. Those are not good vibes. Plus you're not the main character girly, calm down. I mean sure you could be a main character if you put in a little effort but come on let's be real. You'd need to really work on the woe is me mentality. I brought out of my thoughts when I hear my mother's soothing voice behind me.

"Are you okay sweetie? I heard a noise." My mom appears in the doorway and I giggle at her frantic look. This makes her look even more worried. It's fine mom I didn't hit my head.

"Yeah I'm all good, I just need to go to bed I guess. I'm so tired I guess I forgot objects can trip me." I nod my head towards my desk. She clicks her tongue in empathy.

"Did you hurt yourself?" She leans into the room looking for any sign of injury. I shake my head slowly.

"I just bumped my back into the legs of my chair." I grimace as my back throbs.

"Oh hon, I can stay home and put some ice on that? I'll cancel my plans and we can watch a movie together." Her eyes frantically search my face for an answer.

"Mom I'm 18 years old, I think I can ice my own back, but thank you." I smile to try and calm her nerves. I want her to go out and have some fun. She deserved it. She sighs loudly and just when I think she's going to let it go there's a knock on our door. Mirage perks up and mom and I make eye contact. "Door to door service?" I smirk mischievously. I can tell she wants to say something more about our previous conversation, but another knock at the door calls her attention elsewhere.

"We'll talk more when I get home Lee." She turns to walk away but as if she has one last thing to say, she turns back. "Also, she seems like the kind of gal to walk me to her car and such. That's something you should want in someone. A lot of people don't do that now a days you just need to-"

"Mom, oh my gosh just go." I shake my head and try to shoo her away with a hand motion. She rolls her eyes but does as I suggest. I hear a distant voice and debate on meeting this mystery woman, but decide against it. I don't want to ruin the whole thing my mom probably has going. I also don't want this woman to think my mom is a- oh god- a milf. Before I can fold in on myself I hear a notification sound from my phone, which lays forgotten on my bed. "Hey Mirage would you mind growing a human hand to hand me my phone?" Mirage looks me in my eyes and as if directly telling me to fuck off, she hops off my bed and pads over to my closet. "Bitch." I grumble.

I heave myself off the ground with a grunt, only to flop myself down onto my bed. I somehow manage to grab my phone from under my leg. I wonder who would've texted me. I curiously unlock the phone and see a message from my best friend Tabitha.

Tabby: Hey! Let me know if you can make it to the party nerd!

I close my eyes and groan into my pillow. Social interactions in this day and age? No thank you. I'd rather go outside and touch some grass.

Buttface: I'm not sure if Phelo will let me :(

Tabby: You could just go anyway >:( Come on! I'll even drive you!

Buttface: I don't know Tabs, I just feel like it's going to be like last time all over again. You'll be the only one I know and you'll try to set me up with the one lesbian that'll be there. And before you say anything, no- I don't want to loose my virginty to some rando. That's not something cool I want to do.

Tabby: Oh come on that was one time and I said I was sorry :((( She won't even be here this time so you don't have to worry about spilling a drink on her again lol.

Buttface: I will kill you if you mention that once more :} Also fine, since you're a needy bitch I guess I'll stop in. When and where is it again?

Tabby: Don't worry about it, remember I said I'll pick you up! Just be ready around 6 tomorrow :)

Buttface: A Sunday night party? Really? We'll have school the next day.

Tabby: :)

God I wish she was the one with anxiety instead of me. I purse my lips as I remember how many things Tabitha has gotten me into. Like that one time she and I were walking in the park and someone yelled out that we were lesbians and she started to cry. I mean, who does that? Kind of scared me to be honest, I never want to walk with a girl anywhere ever again. Well, no that'd be a lie since women are goddesses and I am a simp.

It's then that I hear another buzz come from my phone. I almost don't look at it, I don't want Tabitha to have sent me something weird. When I look at my screen it's a message from an unknown number. I knit my brows together as I tap the message.

(xxx)xxx-xxxx: Hi, I hope this is Oralee Turner, if not that'd be awkward. You can just delete my message if you aren't her. If you are though, please respond with verification of your identity.

Verification? Who was this? How'd they get my number? This better not be another Tabitha set up. I swear one day I'm going to lock that girl in a room with some random guy I find on the street. I will actually not be doing that because men are scary, especially those who you don't know. I'm about to set my phone down and ignore this obvious scammer message, but for some very odd reason I text them back.

Oralee: Hi? This is she, I don't have your number saved in my phone. Who is this if you don't mind me asking? I don't feel comfortable sharing any information with a complete stranger :( Have to make sure you're not a scammer.

(xxx)xxx-xxxx: I understand completely! Of course you'd be cautious of an unknown number! Let me share some things that might make you a little more comfortable with who I am :) My name is Zandra Dominika and I'm 19 years old. I have your number because of your mother, Phelo Turner! I promise I'm not trying to scam you lol, just reaching out to see how your doing!

I think once I know someone is a female I instantly feel safer. It's... not the best feeling to acknowledge that, but then again it's good to still be aware of your surroundings. This person could still try to hurt me, plus they know my mom's name! That's absolutely fucked. I can't trust them right now. Why would I give them any personal information when they are most likely lying to me right now? Though the name Zandra did sound weirdly familiar. Like I knew it from a distant memory or something. Maybe I had seen it in my mom's memory book? I'd have to go check that out later.

(xxx)xxx-xxxx: I know you're probably taking so much time because you still think I'm a scammer, which is good! It shows that you're careful and smart! I'm glad you're not willing to send birthdates and shit to some rando. I'm not sure how I could prove to you that I'm not a scammer. I also know that I most likely scared you off with how I knew your mom. I could explain that if you'd be willing to listen?

Listen? I mean... I could do that, but no! This could be a ploy to get more information from my phone...or... they could be telling the truth. Damn it! I frown to myself, moving my thumbs to make the number a contact.

Oralee: It seems you know a lot about how I'm feeling and already have some information about me. I think this is all the recognition you need, but my curiosity does always get the best of me. Go ahead, tell me how you know my mother's name and how you got my number.

Zandra the randa: Okay... well I just knew how I would feel if someone randomly messaged me asking all these questions and knowing all these things lol. Anyways, I know your mom because she simply knows my mother. They go way back, like further than you're probably thinking right now. We've actually met before but I think you forgot lmao. We were really close actually, we didn't want to leave each other's side. Your mom is still in contact with mine so obviously I was curious how you were and asked for your number. I do think this is Oralee now so no recognition is needed anymore. I... uh... missed you a lot. It's lonely here.

I have to set my phone down for a second. What? I have a long lost friend? I really didn't see that one coming. I usually wasn't the one for making friends. I guess that gives me some explanation as to why I thought her name was so familiar. I'm going to ask mom to help me find that memory book when she gets home. That brings me back to what Zandra had last said. It's lonely here. What did she mean by that? Did she not live in our state? I wonder where she lives, maybe Montana? I'm going to ask her.

Oralee: So we used to know each other... I'm sorry I don't remember that at all honestly, but when my mom gets home I'm going to try and find some pictures if we have any. Maybe that'll help strike a cord in my brain. I do have a question though, where do you live? You make it sound like we're really far away :(

I straighten myself out on my bed, waiting patiently for a response, but one never seems to come. I wait for a good 10 minutes before deciding to do something other than just waiting. It wasn't healthy to get attached so quickly. I bite my lip. I wonder what she looks like. No, Lee there's no time to be gay now. Mom will be home soon and then you can look in the memory book.

I hope she's hot. You know, there are some days I wish I could just shut my thoughts off, especially the horny ones. She's got to at least be into DND, you know? If she can't enjoy be chaotic while being a mythical creature, I don't want it. DND was a way I could believe in small amounts that fairies are real. I smirk to myself as I think about all the times I tried to seduce something in our campaign.

"Lee? Are you awake? Honey I'm coming up!" I feel my body jolt from the sudden rush of adrenalin. Jesus, I guess my mom is home now. I didn't even hear the door open or a car pull up.

"Yeah I'm awake mom! I'll meet you in the hall." I hoist myself off the bed and shake my head. Shit, I didn't even know what time it was. It's nearly midnight and I have a shift tomorrow at the shop. I'm so fucked. I walk to my door and open it swiftly. I'm met with my mother leaned up against the wall across from it. She smiles sweetly at me, her eyes sparkling with delight.

"I missed you Lee." She holds her arms open for a hug and I instantly accept it.

"You too stinky. I hope you had a good night." I enjoy the smell of my mother, how it calms down my senses. It makes me want to cuddle with her all night watching movies, almost like what she suggested earlier. Shit! I never iced my back! That's going to hurt in the morning!

"Oh I did, it was long." I feel my body tense and I back away from her. My face scrunches up in disgust.

"Mom! God I don't want to hear about your night in that much detail!" I plug my ears like a child and shake my head vigorously.

"Meh, your loss." She shrugs and I can tell she wants to go to sleep. Her eyes are half lidded and she looks very loopy.

"If you're done, I do have a question. Where is that memory book you made when I was little? I got a text tonight from someone named Zandra Dominika. Do you know her?" I question, motioning towards her. She seems to suddenly wake up. Her eyes widen slightly as she processes what I just told her.

"Did you say Zandra finally reached out to you? Well thank fucking god, took her long enough. She's had your number for like 4 years. I thought ya'll would start where you left off, but I can see by your vacant expression that you don't know what I'm talking about." She smiles with a small chuckle. "Well, how about we talk about it tomorrow night okay? You and I can have some finger foods and maybe even some drinks. Talk for a while. I'll explain things to you clearly." She grins and gestures to my room. "Now, what do you say we get some sleep?" She nods and shuffles towards her room.

Well...how am I going to be two places at once? Do I want to go to a party or sit and veg out with my mom. Definitely the latter, but I have to go to the party, I promised Tabs. I'm just going to have to make both work!

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It was Sunday afternoon before I could think of an excuse to miss Tabitha's party. Ugh, why'd she have to be such a good friend. Yeah she's made plenty of mistakes in our friendship, but so have I. I've known her forever, I can't just let her down by telling her I'd come to her party and then not going. I know it shouldn't matter, but I just don't want to deal with her mad at me on top of trying to figure out who the hell Zandra was. My mom seemed to like her enough I guess, but was that just a mom thing? Was I really close to this girl or is my mom trying to get me a girlfriend? I purse my lips as I give that a little more thought. Nah, my mom isn't the type to do that, she's not that desperate to please her gay daughter. She knows relationships, especially those of the gay variety have to take time. They have to happen naturally, not by some silly match making friend. It makes both parties feel very uncomfortable.

"Miss? I'd like to buy those now." I hear someone say. It was a guy about my age who looked pretty nervous. He had that all time popular floofy hair and had sun kissed skin. His eyes were an emerald green, like how you'd see algae in a pond. His face looks like someone took brown paint and scattered freckles all over it. I smile in my customer satisfaction smile.

"Of course! Sorry I was just lost in thought about something going on." I laugh lightly to try and make this situation less awkward.

"Yeah I totally get it! I'm not sure what flowers she'll like, so I'm sort of freaking out about it." He looks up to meet my gaze, his emerald eyes lighting up. "Hey do you think a mysterious type of girl who doesn't really like flowers would like these?" He holds up black nemophilas. I smirk to myself. Did he really have to pick such a literal meaning for a flower? I think this guy is way over his head. He shouldn't be buying flowers for this girl, he should be taking her to watch the stars. She seems like the kind of girl to like that.

"Well, those flowers have a secret meaning, you wanna know what it is?" I raise my brows like I'm about to whisk this guy into a crazy story about how these flowers got their name. He nods his head frantically. "Those are black Nemophilas, they usually are small beautiful flowers, but can bloom in all white, pink, white with some purple, or like what you have there. They're called black Nemophilas but they actually look purple with white around the edges of the petals right? Although it's cooler to think that they bloomed black. They're mostly grown as a houseplant because of their resistance to freezing temperatures." I grin widely. I get so happy talking about flowers. I meet his eyes again and he looks extremely happy.

"Shit. Thank you so much. I'm sure she'll love these." He smiles kindly and for the first time in a while, I see him lift the buds to his nose. He takes a small whiff in and a grin spreads across his face. "It smells like sweat." He laughs.

"I-uh... yeah, they're not known for smelling too nice." I stumble over my words, still shocked that someone actually stopped to smell a flower in my shop. They were always too busy buying the flowers to care about what they smelled like. It seemed like the first time someone had cared enough to take time out of their day to smell the flowers. Instead of picking up the prettiest rose and whisking it away without a second glance my way.

I gulp in, not knowing why him smelling a flower got to me so much. "Uh, yeah if you'll just set them down here I'll get them prepared for you to take." I nod curtly and whisk around to the preparation counter. It has scissors, shears, a spray bottle, and some other gardening things. Get it together Lee.

"Thanks so much for this by the way. Pretty sure she's going to fall in love with me because of the sweaty flowers. My name is Elijah, I think we go to school together." I feel my back tense. Great, he goes to my school.

"Yeah?" I say over my shoulder. "What grade are you in?" I ask. Lee why are you continuing the conversation? You don't even like to talk to your cat most of the time.

"I'm a junior, struggling in Mrs. Groution's English class." I can almost hear the smile in his voice. "You're a senior right?" He prods. Dear lord he has seen me around school.

"Yup!" I reply politely. "I'm just ready to get out of here and graduate you know? I have the case of senioritis bad." What I said was honest. I didn't like my high school. It was filled with fake kids and even more fake adults. We had a "zero tolerance" for bullying, yet some of my friends can tell me stories they've heard that says otherwise. It was just an overall distaste for the whole putting on looks situation. A school wasn't supposed to use kids like that, I absolutely hated it. His voice takes me out of thought and back to the situation at hand. I was having an interaction, I needed to focus on that, no matter how much I wanted to hide from it. There were days like this, the ones where I didn't want to be around people at all, but other days it's better to be around them so I can thrive off of some energy people give off.

"You seem a bit lost in though, I'm sorry I can just get out of your hair." He laughs, but I can tell he's a little hurt by the fact I'm so lost in thought. I feel bad even though I barely know the guy.

"Nah, I'm just a deep thinker you know? I get lost in thought very easily. I'm not the best in social situations face to face." I turn to give him a genuine smile. I see his eyes light up again. Good, he feels better.

"Oh no I totally get how that feels. I hate how our school does this whole," he instantly puts on a fake posh accent, "We have the smartest and happiest kids." He lets out a chuckle afterwards. "Little do they know that half of us are depressed and the other half are too busy peaking in high school to be bothered by their sadness." I turn to look him in the eyes, mine growing wider by the second. We make eye contact and then suddenly burst into laughter. My word, he does get it. Shame on me for assuming Elijah and I would have nothing in common. After a bit I can finally breathe again from laughing so hard. I wipe my eyes still giggling lightly.

"Here are your flowers Elijah, good luck." I smile as he graciously takes the flowers and waves enthusiastically to me as he leaves. The smile stayed on my lips for the rest of my work day. Then it was time for me to get ready for Tabitha's party. Joy to the world.

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I ended up wearing something comfortable over cute. If anyone had issue with it, I'd just tell them to fuck off. Well, not actually, I'd just think it. I was in some black sweats with a stretchy maroon shirt. I slipped my off brand crocs I got from a farmers market with my mom a couple years ago and a cute anklet. I pull my hair up in a pony to keep it mostly out of my face. I had normal blonde hair that was naturally pretty curly, but I had a Great Aunt who would give me perms every once in a while. Noting this, I pull some curly strands to frame my face so it didn't look so round. I put on a dangly bracelet and my chain necklace. I'm overall happy with my look, but I'm sure Tabitha will have something to say about it. I decide to put on some gold rings to match the chain in hopes that they'll suffice for her.

I stuff my phone and some earbuds in my pocket and then grab a few dollars out of my wallet. I could need some cash for food later, not sure. I do a once over of myself in the mirror and pat my pudgy stomach. "Oh yeah Oralee Turner you are looking sexy tonight." I give myself finger guns in the mirror and head out my door, grinning to myself like an idiot. I hop down the stairs and towards the front door. Mom hadn't come home yet from errands so I write her a quick note to let her know I'll be back a little later than midnight, seeing as it was getting close to 6 already. Speaking of the time, where the hell is Tabitha? She said was going to pick me up right? I cram my hand into my pocket to find my phone. I unlock it only to find Tabitha had texted me a couple minutes earlier.

Tabby: Hey, I can't pick you up tonight! :( I have to meet up with someone pretty soon so you're going to have to drive yourself!! Sorry babes!

I groan and turn my phone off. This was a great start to the night, because not only did I not like driving, but I was definitely not okay with my car going to a party. I angrily grab my keys from the bowl in the halltree and rush out to my car. I want to be one of the firsts ones there so I can find a good place to sit and an escape route. I start my small car and am met with my comfort station of old rock songs. Okay, maybe this wouldn't be so bad. I pull out of the driveway and roll my window down. The fresh nigh air whips the tendrils of hair I pulled out around my face, it's slightly annoying, but I like the fresh air. It smells like rain and it was such a cool night. It's about a couple minutes into driving when I realize Tabitha didn't tell me where this party was being held. Damn it why am I still even trying to go to this thing? It's like I felt some kind of pull to go and I hated that Tabitha could just pull on my heart strings like that. I pull over into an abandoned parking lot and pull out my phone.

Buttface: where the fuck is this party again?

The reply is almost instant.

Tabby: Ah, it's at this jock's house. 1987 Elmore North, I think his name is Elijah, come on get here girl!!

My eyes widen and a grin spreads across my lips. You sneaky son of a bitch. Did Elijah buy those flowers for Tabs? Maybe this is why I felt such a pull to go to the party. I can get to know Elijah more and if he's that cool then maybe the people he invited are pretty cool too. I feel like a ton of bricks have been lifted off my shoulders as I set my phone down in one of the cup holders. His house was a short drive from where I was now, it would only take me about 2 minutes to get there and his neighborhood is rather large, meaning big houses, meaning there's bound to be a dog to pet. Count me truly ready to party now.

I make it to his house and hop out of my car. I feel lucky that not a lot of cars are there yet and that I can see Tabitha's. Should I have brought something? No, I did help him pick out those flowers. I subconsciously put my hands in my pockets, walking up to the backyard gate which is open. There are outside lights set up and small campfire flickering in a stone firepit. There's a deck with a grill and below ground pool near the fence line of the property. It's a pretty nice backyard, but I only see a couple people out here and none of them are anyone I know. I hurry up and spot the glass sliding door to the inside. Of course it's a glass sliding door. I clumsily wander over to the door and slide it open. I'm hit with warm air and a yelling voice coming from deeper in the house. I glance back to the group outside which consists of 2 boys and 3 girls all chatting about an English assignment. I definitely don't want to try to join in on their conversation so I step inside and shut the door from behind me.

"I thought we had something Tabby!" I hear a familiar voice yell.

"Well you don't know shit! And don't call me that! I should have never come here! Damn it!" Once I hear my friend's name I'm on my way to find her, when I do find her, I find Elijah with her. Tabitha has the flowers clutched in her hands, breaking the stems. Elijah breaks his angry stare from Tabitha when he spots me. He looks almost shocked to see me, but his demeanor changes when he puts it together that I'm not here to be on his side. "What took you so long Lee? I was waiting for you!" Tabitha stares at me with pleading eyes, her grip on the flowers hardening, I can tell by the way they droop even lower to the ground.

"I-I had to drive myself and I didn't know where I w-was going at first." I look between the two of them. "What's going on?" I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have come here. Why did I come here? I take a few steps backwards.

"This fucker thought flowers where his way into my pants." Tabitha hisses and tosses the flowers to the ground. I wince. I get that she was upset, but the flowers didn't do anything. They had a nice life after all, I cut and prepared them. Someone actually stopped to smell them. I got to share facts about them! I never get to do that! "Well fuck that." Before I can think she stomps the flowers into the hardwood floor. Her boot cuts into their stems and when she's done it's a mess of petals and leaves.

"I wasn't trying to get into your pants!" Elijah finally shouts. "I actually just wanted to be a gentleman because so many fucking guys out here are disgusting!" I can tell he's upset about her stepping on the flowers and her words by the way his voice wobbles and his eyes flit between the crumpled petals. I'm upset now too. I can't really tell why I'm so upset but I meet Tabitha's eyes with tears in my own. My brows are drawn into an angry expression as I glance down at the mess by her feet.

"I-they-you- those flowers had no part in this... why'd you do that? You know how I feel about flowers Tabs. They have lives too." I meet her gaze again. I want her to apologize but all she does is roll her eyes.

"They're not alive Lee, don't be such a pansy. For fuck's sake can we focus on my problems here?" She hisses. A chill runs through my body. I can feel my blood boil and freeze almost simultaneously. Elijah stares at her in disbelief.

"Fuck you." I hiss and squeeze my eyes shut. The tears finally break over the barrier and fall down my cheeks. I rush out the way I came, a sick feeling settling in the pit of my stomach.

She knows how I feel about them! She knows how much they meant to my grandad. How much shit he had to go through to keep the shop going. He raised me, teaching me about the different effects flowers could have. Flowers were a language not spoken by many.

"Lee! Lee wait I'm sorry! I was angry! Lee-" I run. I run until I'm outside and shutting the door. Why'd I come here? Why'd I do it? God I was so stupid? Stupid. That's me. No no no no, fuck! I ball my fists and wipe at my face. I realize the group outside is looking my way and I curse under my breath. I turn on my heel and fast walk the fuck out of there. I try to make the tears stop falling, but they keep streaming down my face.

"Fuck, fuck, shit." I curse, then suddenly I knock shoulders with someone who grunts because of the impact. I stop in my tracks, I may be upset but my mother taught me manners. "Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" I finally look up to see who I bumped into. A tall girl about my age stands in front of me. She has pink hair tied into space buns and heart shaped glasses on. Her earrings are also in the shape of hearts as well as the choker she's wearing. She has high-waisted jeans on with a flowy blouse to match. She was absolutely stunning. She even had a beauty mark under her eye that stood out in the moonlight.

"It's okay," She pauses as she gets a better look at me. "A-are you okay?" Her brows instantly knit in concern. Shit, has she noticed I'm not mentally stable already?

"I-uh... yeah I'm fine." I decide to answer. "I... I'm actually going." I sigh. She purses her lips and then frowns.

"That's too bad, you seemed cool. I was hoping to talk some more." She grins. I nod in agreement.

"I am pretty cool, but I should really get going." I jab my thumb towards where my car is.

"Lee?" I whisk around to see Tabitha at the gate.

"Shit." I hiss. "See ya, I gotta go!" I yell and practically Olympic sprint to my car. I unlock my car as fast as I can and hop in. I turn the key and start to back out when I see Tabitha waving wildly in front of me. Yeah, I'm never going to another one of her 'fun' parties. I shake my head and wipe at my face. Pansy? I tense as I speed towards home. Never again.

I get home around 8:45pm and to my surprise my mom is home. I pull in behind her car and put mine in park. I don't think this night can get any worse. I get out of my car, lock it, spin my keys around my fingers a couple times, and then head towards my front door. Before I can open it, it's opened for me. "Evening sweetie, what brings you home so early?" My mother stands in the doorway with a frown on her face. I sigh and lightly push past her into the house.

"Oh you know, just too cool for the party life." I give her a fake smile and she clicks her tongue.

"That bad?" She questions. I nod and flop down on the couch. It's then that I notice the memory book on the coffee table. Her eyes light up. "Oh yes! Miss Zandra, you wanted to see a picture of her right? Now, since you're home so early we're going to have lots of time to look at pictures and discuss, but I need you to have an open mind." She gives me a stern look. I roll my eyes.

"Mom, I'm a gay teen, I have to keep an open mind at all times." I fire back. She pauses for a moment then nods her head in agreement. She flops down next to me grabbing one of the books. I snuggle up next to her, loving her comforting scent.

"Ah here's a good one, it's of you guys when you were little." She flips the book for me to see the picture. It's little me with that appears to be strap on fairy wings on my back, same for who I'm assuming is Zandra.

"That's her?" I point to the other little girl. She nods and coos about how cute we look. Zandra has the same sparkly dress up wings on. I chuckle at how cheap they look. Mom flips a couple pages and gasps.

"Oh and here's a more recent picture of her!" She taps the page excitedly. My eyes widen as I scan the photo in front of me. Pink hair tied back in regal braids, a white dress with gold accents trailing up the bodice, her slender arms folded in front of her, and those same sparkling wings on her back, only about four times the size. I gasp as my eyes follow what seems to be a swirling pattern in them.

"I-is she into fantasy shoots or something?" I choke over my words. She was beautiful. It takes me a moment to finally notice the glimmering gold crown around her head. It has a hanging purple jewel dangling in the middle of her forehead. My eyes trail down her face and land on a beauty mark under her eye. If my eyes could widen any more I think they did at that moment.

"Um, well not exactly sweetie, there's been something I've needed to tell you for a while now."

Of course.

[i-need-entertainment]

Just Right

Character: Chronostasis x short reader

*In this story the reader is about 5′0, Chrono is in the 5′9-6′0 range*

*DISCLAIMER, I will do my absolute best to portray a short reader but I can only be so accurate...since I myself am 5′9..BUT I love the idea and will do my best! Thank you to @goblinchild99​ for requesting! I hope you enjoy it!!<3

TW- Mean words from dad, reader self doubts, mentions of insecurities

“Wait…what..?” Your heart shattered as you sat in front of your stone-faced parents. Your family was head of one of the many Yakuza of Japan, and your father was a cold and ruthless man not like your mother was much better. “You will be given to the Shie Hassaikai. What they do with you is none of my concern, but for our sake and for your own, behave. I know you are not wanted because of your…stature…but do not be a bother. I don’t want you being sent back h ere, I cannot imagine the shame you would bring to our name if you upset the new young leader.” 

You held back tears at your father’s decree. ‘Given…? Is that all I’m good for… To be given as a peace treaty when one of my brothers makes a mistake… Why do I have to pay the price for their actions…why am I just being used as compensation?’ Quickly wiping the tear that fell you stood up and left the room, going to your room to pack since you’d be leaving that evening. You sat down on your bed, sobs racking your body as you clutched your small frame. Your whole life you had been treated as an outcast, as the disappointment of the family. All because…because what? Because you were shorter than most? Because you were more ‘petite’? Just because you were small it didn’t make you any less important…any less deserving of love and affection. Instead you were being bargained off for ‘peace’. The sadness you felt was replaced by frustration. You angrily took out a suitcase and filled it with clothes, precious items, and whatever toiletries you knew you’d need. Without saying a word you rolled your suitcase out of your room, where an underling of some sort took it from your, and made your way to your parents. “Goodbye mom…dad…I wish you both the best.” You hugged your mom while your dad gave you a nod. “Make us proud, Y/n.” You held back your tears at your dad’s heartless reply and instead chose to nod, walking out the door and never looking back. After a good 2 ½ hour drive you made it to your new home, the Shie Hassaikai Headquarters. Where you would spend the rest of your life…Now anyone in your position would probably assume the worst..especially being a small female. But you were more afraid of being killed than…that. I mean, Overhaul was a major germaphobe so that stilled some worries you supposed…The car stopped and you shook yourself from your daydreams. Unbuckling your seat belt you exited the car, thanked the driver and made your way to the front gate. There to greet you was a man, who was much taller than you, wearing a white raincoat that reached just below his knees with black shiny boots. But the things that stood out to you the most was the hood he had covering his head, and the mask that covered his face. “Y/n L/n?” You looked up to the man, meekly nodding. He waved over one of the other masked associates, this time a man with a black mask, coat and hat to get your bag. The man in the white coat turned towards you. You couldn’t see his eyes but you could feel them burning holes through you. “Follow me, Overhaul would like to meet you.” You nodded, “But, put this on first…and don’t touch him, I imagine you wouldn’t like to die on your first day here.” You stilled as you shakily took the white medical mask and put it on, clasping your shaking hands together as you followed behind the strangely dressed man. “You don’t talk much…do you?” You looked up as you walked through the dim hallways of the Shie Hassaikai basement. “No…not to strangers, anyway…” You tried your best to sound normal, but you couldn’t deny you were scared. And rightfully so! “Yeah, well that might actually do you well here, you’re less likely to tick him off then.” You made a sound to let him know you understood, still not feeling well enough to answer him with a real response just yet. The two of you stopped at a door. Being raised in a Yakuza family you were no stranger to scary encounters, but this would be the scariest you’ve ever faced by far. Let alone faced by yourself. The man, who you had to have learned his name knocked on the door, answering that ‘L/n was there’ before the boss man told him (and you) to enter. Entering the office you were ushered over to the couch to sit down. So now here you were sitting directly across from a man that could kill you with a single touch. “L/n, I’m sure you know who I am, yes?” You nodded your head, looking down with your hands crossed in your lap. Overhaul may not have been the biggest guy, but he was still easily almost a foot taller than you…not to mention he had a fairly big build. “I won’t lie to you, I wasn’t fond of your fathers implications of why he was sending you here, but I assure you I have no intentions of following through with his original plans.” Your head shot up at this. “You may be small in stature, and it’s true that could be a weakness, but you also have a strong quirk. I’m offering you a place here, amongst me and the precepts…not everyone gets that opportunity. Should you choose to take it you will be taken care of, and your abilities will be praised.” You felt like you could cry, not from fear, but from being…wanted. “So? Will you join the Hassaikai, not as whatever it was your father wanted, but as apart of it?” Your face took on a determined look, “…I’ll do it. I know I’m not the strongest, and I’m not very strong, but I promise to do my best. Thank you..” Overhaul’s expression changed to a happy one. “Wonderful, I am aware of your inability to fight or defend yourself, so I’m putting you directly under Chronostasis,” He motioned for the said man to step forward. “Chrono, become acquainted with her, show her the ropes, teach her to fight, and utilize her natural abilities. Consider her your…assistant for now. Understood?” Chronostasis as you had learned his name was nodded, “Yes sir, come on L/n, I’ll show you around the base.” You nodded, standing up you bowed, “Thank you for this opportunity, I’ll do my best.” Overhaul nodded, walking passed you to his desk. “The pleasure is mine. You both are dismissed.” With that the two of you left the room and started navigating the hallways. “I’ll show you around first before getting started on what you’ll be doing here if that’s okay with you.” You nodded, “That’s fine.” You started walking, while you were talking he showed you the different rooms, which ones to avoid and which ones you’d be spending a lot of time in. “This is my office, which will be yours now too I guess.” He opened the door and stepped in. You didn’t follow. “…I’m sorry…” He turned around, “For what?” You nervously looked down, hands wringing together. “For being a burden…” He sighed, lightly guiding you into the room. “Listen, you’re not a burden, in all seriousness I could use the help, Overhaul gives me too much as it is anyways. And…I have a pretty good idea of how you were treated at your family’s Yakuza, and it kinda ticks me off. So I assure you, you’re not a bother.” You smiled at him, “Thank you…” “Yup.” He shut the door and sat down at his desk, motioning for you to do the same at the couch in the room. Without warning, he removed the mask he had on, the hood falling to his shoulders as he did so. “You can go ahead and take the mask off, I don’t wear mine when I’m not around Overhaul and he doesn’t care as long as you’re not interacting with him.” You sheepishly nodded, desperately trying to hide how flustered you were, because he was attractive. Not just the ‘oh yeah, he's good looking’ kind, more like the ‘Oh my gosh, I think I JUST DIED ‘ kind. He had the perfect proportions of traditional attractiveness and uniqueness to make him that much more appealing to you. He had sharp narrow dark gray-blue eyes, a jawline that could draw blood and a general intensity about him that made your heart stop beating. Remembering you were probably staring you quickly looked away. But something else about him caught your eye…his hair. It was a white silvery color, and medium in length, but as you examined him further you noticed the ends of his hair ended in arrow shapes. “Is that part of your quirk?” His dark eyes met yours, he figured you’d ask, most anyone who had ever seen him asked sooner or later. But when he looked at you, you weren’t looking at him like he was a freak. Your eyes held an innocent and honest curiosity. With no malice to be seen. “I’m sorry if that came off as weird or rude!! It’s just…I’ve never seen anything like it…” He nodded, “It’s fine, I kinda figured you would. My quirk is called Chronostasis. I can extend these clock needle things to pierce someone, but I need to be extremely still. If I do pierce someone I can slow them down, but the length depends on which hand I struck them with. If I use the minute,” He pointed to one of the ‘clock needles’ on the end of his hair, “They’re slowed for a minute, same thing if I use the hour.” He looked at you, noticing your expression. “I know it’s weird but-“ “I don’t think it’s weird.” He looked at you in shock, “You don’t? You can be honest, it’s pretty weird.” You shook your head, that honest and sincere glint never leaving your e/c eyes. “I think they’re really cool…beautiful…even..” In his 22 years of life, no one had ever told him his quirk was cool, let alone beautiful. If words could kill, Chronostasis would probably be dead. The red tint on his cheeks giving aware his flusteredness. “A-Uh..Thanks…What’s your quirk anyway?” “It’s called Seamless…Um basically I can sew without using needles, controlling the threads and what not…but it only works on sewing things, I can’t use it on people or anything..” You looked up, expecting him to be bored only to see interest gleaming in his eyes. “Sounds cool to me, useful too.” Never in your life had you felt so secure, safe, appreciated…it felt good. It felt good to know there were people out there who wanted you, even if it was just for work it still felt nice. Fast forward a bit, you’ve been with the Hassaikai for a year now. You had cemented your place here, and you felt great. You didn’t use your quirk too much, but you did save them a lot of money on clothes. You had also become a lot closer to Chrono, or Kurono Hari as you had learned his name was, and called him in private. You talked a lot, ranting to each other about your problems, spending time together even if it was just doing your own things in silent. It was safe to say the two of you had become good friends, but more than that you had developed feelings for the man. That was why you were on your current mission, making your way to Overhaul’s office. You knocked, and after hearing a ‘come in’ entered. He was sitting at his desk, fiddling with papers and what not. “Ah, L/n, what can I help you with?” You walked to stand in front of his desk, nervously messing with your fingers and fidgeting. “…I came to ask you something…” Overhaul sighed as he set his pen down, leaning to place his chin in his hand, which was propped up on his desk. “Oh? What is it? I take it everything is going fine?” Over the past year besides getting close to Chronostasis, you had also gotten close to Overhaul. Although you noticed he acted very protective of you, like an older brother. You had asked him about it a few months ago, he had simply told you he had met with your father a few years ago when he accompanied a business meeting with Pops. He had seen how you were treated and it made him sick especially because of how much potential you showed. In his own special way, you knew he cared somewhat about you. You nodded your head. “Everything’s fine, great, actually…I need to talk to you about something else…someone else….”. His eyebrow raised in interest, he pretended to act surprised but he had an inkling of why you were really here. “I want your permission to…to…” You opened your mouth to speak but ultimately chose to close it, not really knowing how to go forward. He sighed again, leaning back in his chair while his hands clasped together, resting by his mouth. “Let me guess…you’d like my permission to pursue a relationship with Chronostasis? Am I correct?” You felt heat raise to your face as you stiffened. ‘How did he…?’ “I may seclude myself to this office and limit my interactions with people to a minimum, but I’m not blind. I am well aware of he feelings the both of you have for each other.” You gulped, here it comes…”I don’t care, just don’t let it get in the way of your work. But if it ends the pitiful gazes and flirting between the two of you, by all means, get married for all I care.” Your eyes widened as your brain proceeded to implode. “A-are you sure?! You really don’t mind?!” He looked at you in disbelief before shrugging. “Nope, just don’t do any of that lovey-dovey stuff around me, affection like that makes me nauseas.” You nodded, “I promise.” He nodded and got up, walking you to the door. “…I’m trusting you won’t tell him what I’m about to say but, take care of him…He’s stupidly in love with you, so I know he’ll take care of you, but please be good to him…” You smiled, nodding your head. “I will…wait, did you say he’s in lo-“ “Time for you to go, goodbye L/n.” Before you could refute, he pushed you out of the room, shut the door and locked it. Sighing, you made you way to your and Chrono’s office, finally ready to tell the man of your dreams your feelings. To most you may be considered ‘short’ or ‘small’, and to some they might even think of you as ‘inadequate’ or ‘lesser’ than them. At one point you probably thought Chrono felt that way. (but as you were soon about to find out)But to Chrono? You were just right, just...perfect.

[dessarious]

Guilt and Consequences Pt3

Okay, so I am still working on my other stories I just haven’t been able to get much down. I’m working a crap ton of overtime at the moment and I’m just fried when I get home. I’d say hopefully I’ll be more productive on the weekends but right now I’m working Saturdays and and Sundays are becoming catch up on sleep days. So sorry for the delays, but I’ll try to get back into a headspace where I don’t just want to pass out whenever I’m not at work. Oh and I think I got everyone tagged who asked but let me know if I didn’t or you want to be added.

AO3   Beginning   Previous   Next

The silence stretched on and Lila could only sit there. She knew the others were likely staring at her. Wondering what she’d done to make her mother react like that. She just wished she had an answer for them. Even before everything with the schools they’d never been close. Her mother pretty much only talked to her to tell her what she needed to improve. As the atmosphere became more and more uncomfortable Lila finally broke the silence.

“So… would you consider that a yes or a no?” More silence before M. Dupain cleared his throat.

“Marinette why don’t you go with Lila to pack an overnight bag? We’ll get dinner and some treats started. Is there anything you can’t eat or something you’d like to have?” It took her a moment to realize that last part was aimed at her. When she managed to look up his expression matched the gentle tone of his voice and she just got even more confused.

“No sir. I’m not picky.” Her mother rarely made it home to eat with her and even then it was always take out. She’d gotten used to left overs or eating whatever random things were in the house.

“Make sure to pack all your medications as well.” Madam Cheng’s voice sounded a little strange but when Lila managed to look up at her she wasn’t glaring and she didn’t look annoyed. She was definitely more stiff than she’d been before though.

“It’s okay if you don’t want me here anymore. I get it. Even offering is more than most people would have done in your situation.” She still had no idea why they did either. After everything that had happened to their daughter because of her they should be throwing her out, at the very least. The woman’s expression turned to one of motherly concern and it honestly made her more nervous. She couldn’t remember the last time someone had aimed that kind of look at her.

“You’re welcome here, anytime you need somewhere to go, as long as you stop all this lying. There are better ways to deal with your problems.” Lila could only hang her head and mumble another apology. While she agreed that the lying in this situation wasn’t a good idea, it normally didn’t backfire like this and she had tried other things first. Maybe it was different for other people. She heard the woman let out a frustrated sigh. “You two go on, we’ve got to finish closing up the bakery before we start on dinner.” She let Marinette pull her out of her seat and down the stairs. She was still too busy trying to understand what was happening to even consider arguing.

“Did your mom really put you on medication just to keep you in school?” She glanced at Marinette. There was no accusation in the question. More like she just couldn’t understand how someone could do something like that.

“Yes but I don’t take it. Well, except one of the anxiety meds every once in a while when I can’t sleep. As she said on the phone, she thinks I should be responsible for myself so she just assumes I’m actually taking them.” She hadn’t understood at first why her mother would work so hard to get the meds and then not bother to monitor their use. She’d come to the conclusion it was so that when the school finally called about her ‘behavioral’ issues she would have a paper trail to be able to sell them on the fact that Lila was just sick and needed special accommodations. That or she really didn’t think Lila would disobey her on this.

When they got to the apartment building Lila wasn’t really paying attention. She heard something that sounded like a cough but kept walking towards the elevator until Marinette tugged on her sleeve. When she looked over at the other girl Marinette motioned to the side and Lila saw three rather annoyed looking staff members.

“Guests have to be signed in.” She blinked at the woman who spoke, not really processing the words.

“I’m sorry, what?” The woman just rolled her eyes.

“This is a high security building Mlle. Rossi. All guests have to be signed in.” Oh, right. She vaguely remembered something about that from when they’d first moved in. She just had never actually brought someone home before.

“Sorry, I forgot. Umm… how exactly do I do that?” The woman just looked exasperated now, but the man behind the desk offered a smile and motioned them over. There was a clipboard on the desk and he handed her a pen.

“You just need to put your name, apartment number, and your guests name.” He pointed to each column in turn . She filled them out as he asked and handed the pen back. “Thank you Mlle. Rossi, have a nice day.”

“Thank you, you as well.” She could still see the disapproving look on the woman’s face as they continued to the elevator and couldn’t help but wonder how she still had a job if this was how she normally treated tennants. Personally she couldn’t remember any of the staff and didn’t really interact with them. Generally once she was in the building it was a habit to keep her head down and get to her room as quickly as possible. She’d found that the less interaction she had with people the fewer things her mother had to lecture her about. Her social interactions were always lacking in some way and she could never be certain what her mother would latch onto.

When they entered the apartment Lila noticed Marinette frowning as she looked around. She couldn’t really blame her after seeing her house. The apartment was clean bordering on sterile due to the service her mother had come in daily. There weren’t any personal touches either. No pictures, no nicknacks, nothing that said people actually lived here. She didn’t really think about it. It had been this way as long as she could remember.

“Your place is nice…” Lila actually grinned as she watched Marinette try to come up with something good to say about it. “Lot’s of natural light.” Lila let out a snort of amusement. The girl was the essence of cheerful and that was all she could come up with. It was a bit sad really.

“My room’s this way.” When they entered Marinette perked up immediately. Lila could only assume it was due to all the pictures on the walls since it was the only real difference between here and the rest of the house.

“Wow, these are amazing! Do you collect them?”

“They’re not that good. Just pictures I’ve taken to remember where I’ve been.” She liked taking pictures, especially of nature. She found it soothing and having something to look back on made her feel a little less disconnected. Marinette was staring at her in what looked like awe.

“You took all these?” Lila just nodded. “These are amazing! I’ve seen professional photographers whose work doesn’t look this good.” Even knowing Marinette was just being nice, Lila couldn’t help but bask in the complement for a moment. But only for a moment.

“So what exactly should I be packing? I’ve never done the whole sleepover thing before.” Suddenly Marinette was looking at her like she’d kicked a puppy and she couldn’t figure out why.

“You’ve never had a sleepover? Ever?” Lila just shook her head. Wasn’t that what she’d just said? “Oh my gosh! We have so much to make up for. Obscene amounts of junk food and games and movies and makeovers and ghost stories and-” She just kept going. Lila had no idea what she was rambling about and it didn’t answer her question at all. Marinette finally paused to take a breath and she was able to break in.

“Okay, but what should I actually pack?” Marinette paused to think it over. The expression on her face seemed far too serious for such a common question.

“Your most comfy pajamas, whatever you want to wear tomorrow, and a toothbrush. I’ll take care of everything else.” Well that sounded slightly ominous. Regardless, she packed what she was told along with all her medications. Dumping those in the bag got a strange look from Marinette, but she wasn’t certain why. Maybe it was just how many there were. In less than ten minutes they were back out on the street, headed towards the bakery.

“Lila!”

“Shit.” She said the word under her breath as she looked behind her. Of course it would be Alya. They’d been on the street less than five minutes, only her luck could be that bad. She tried to use her body to block Marinette but she wasn’t quick enough. Alya’s expresion turned sour as she tried to reach around Lila.

“I thought we made it clear that we wouldn’t tolerate you bullying Lila anymore!” Lila grabbed the girls wrist before she could grab or slap Marinette. That stunned her enough to let Marinette get some space.

“You touch her again I’ll break the offending appendage.” Lila didn’t recognize her own voice in that deep threatening tone, but Alya just rolled her eyes.

“This is why we didn’t tell you what we were doing. You’re too nice and let people like her get away with anything.” She wanted so badly to just slap some sense into the girl but honestly she didn’t think it would work.

“I’m not nice, and you’ll find out exactly how not nice if you don’t stop harassing Marinette.”

“But if we don’t do something she’ll just keep bullying you!” Lila could only sigh. How many times was she going to have to have this conversation.

“Marinette is not now, nor has she ever bullied me. Which I already told you.” Alya let out a patient sigh, like she was explaining something simple to a small child. Yeah, someone was going to get hit before this conversation was over.

“She’s constantly calling you a liar and trying to turn everyone against you. Why would she do that?” Yep, the kindergarten teacher tone was definitely a good way to piss her off. Lila, of course, defaulted to sarcasm.

“Oh gee, I don’t know maybe because I was lying?” Alya looked like she was about to argue but Lila just kept going. “If you had bothered to look up literally anything I said you would know that.”

“An absence of proof is not proof of absence.” It took a minute for the words to penetrate as Lila was just getting even more annoyed by Alya’s self righteous tone but when they did she had to stop herself from lunging at her.

“Are you saying that you looked up my claims, found absolutely no proof and still took my word over Marinette’s?” Her voice was soft, more because her throat felt like it was closed in rage than anything else.

“There wasn’t any proof that you were lying either.” Alya’s smug tone finally snapped something inside her.

“Have you lost your damn mind?! Jagged stone has said in multiple interviews that he doesn’t even like cats. And in what universe would my mother’s PR team not have it in the news that I do charity work? She’s a public figure Alya, anything that can make her look good would have press releases for days. That in and of itself proves that I was lying.” The girl seemed to ponder this for a moment before she sent a glare to Marinette.

“What did you threaten her with to make her agree with you?”  Knowing that she’d been right about who Alya would blame for this was a small consolation.

“Lila you need to calm down.” Marinette’s voice was soft, soothing even but she was in no mood to pay attention.

“I will not calm down! This wanna be reporter couldn’t find the truth if she fell into a river of it. You should consider a career in fiction by the way since anyone with journalistic integrity will simply laugh you out the door.” Alya was still glaring at Marinette, like all this was her fault. What was wrong with people? Marinette actually grabbed her arms and forced Lila to face her.

“Please. You really need to calm down. Just breathe with me okay? You don’t want to get Akumatized again.” Those words acted like ice water. Yes, this was beyond stupid, but it wasn’t worth that. She calmed her breathing as Marinette asked but made sure to keep a line of sight on Alya as well. There was no telling what someone like her would do at this point.

“We should head back to your house, your parents will start to worry.” She had no idea if that was true or not but she hoped it would get Alya to back off. Pretty much everyone agreed that Marinette’s parents were great people, but they were also scared shitless at the thought of pissing them off. After their talk earlier she understood why. It did the trick too. Alya mumbled something about finding out what kind of dirt Marinette had on her so Lila could stop pretending she’d been lying as she left at a brisk walk. She’d read about willful ignorance but she’d never expected to encounter it to this degree. She was starting to hope it did have something to do with Hawkmoth, but considering some of the things people were willing to believe she wasn’t very optimistic.

AO3   Beginning   Previous    Next

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[atinydise]

Ateez reacting to their s/o being scared of flying

❦ Genre: Fluff.

❦ Pairing: OT8.

❦ Word count: 3k.

❦ Requested: Yes, thank you! 🦋 

❦ Masterlist.

HONGJOONG

Hongjoong and you needed to go to Paris for the Fashion Week. He insisted to go there with you. “I’m so excited!” he claimed, sitting on his seat. “Oh yeah… me too.” You replied quietly. Hongjoong noticed that you were quiet as soon you stepped in the airport. At first, he thought that you were probably tired, it was 4 AM. “What is the first thing you want to do when he will arrive in Paris?” “Hum… If it’s at night, I will definitively go to the Eiff-” you started. When you felt the plane moving a bit, you couldn’t help but to hold your security belt tighter against you.

“Y/N?” Asked Hongjoong. You couldn’t reply, you were like in your own world. In your mind, you were alone in this plane. Terrified and paralyzed. You never say it to Hongjoong that you were terrified of plane. You saw so many things about crashes or accidents that you were imagining a thousand of horrible scenes. “Y/N, I might be wrong but… you don’t seem really comfortable right now.” Said Hongjoong. You wiped the single tear sliding on your cheek. “It’s okay, I was just a little scared.” “Scared? Of what?” He asked, obviously worried for you. “Plane,” you scratched your head, embarrassed. “Really? Why you never told me! I would never bring you here!” “You really wanted to go to Paris. I didn’t want to ruin the moment and one of your biggest dream.” You explained, mentioning the Fashion Week. “Babe… you are too kind sometimes.” He held your hand. “But I would completely understand the situation.” “It’s okay, now we are in already.” You bit your lip of anxiety. Hongjoong looked around him to see if you had time to go out of the plane, but the air hostess started to talk about the security rules. “Well… I will try to help you as I could to make you relaxed enough!” “I doubt you can but let’s give it a try,” you smiled. For the whole flight, Hongjoong was making sure you were comfortable enough and that you could rest. He chose good movies for you, played his favorite playlist and you talked the whole night when everyone was sleeping. You almost forgot you were 873 km away from the earth.

SEONGHWA

“Are you ready babe?” Yelled Seonghwa, closing his luggage. You sat on the bed, behind your boyfriend. “Not yet,” you whispered, resting your head on his back. “We leave in 7 hours; you should get ready!” He reminded you. “7 hours? It’s okay I will have enough time…” “Usually, you are the first one ready.” He stated. “This is a strange.” “I’m just lazy I guess.” You lied, wrapping your arms around his waist. “Do you smell this scent?” You sniffled to smell something, “What?” “Isn’t your perfume?” “I don’t have any perfu-” “The LIAR perfurme,” he claimed. You rolled your eyes and pocked his side, making him whine a little bit. “I’m not lying.” “You seem anxious and stressed babe, I can see something is wrong.” He rubbed the arm still wrapped around his waist. “Nothing to worry about,” you replied. You didn’t want to tell Seonghwa about your flying fear. It’s probably the stupidest fear for him. He’s an idol, he needs to go overseas so many times that plane was like his second house. Seonghwa turned around so he could face you. You pouted a bit when you lost your comfortable “human pillow”. “Just tell me. You know you can tell me everything.” He stared right into your eyes. You sighed; a bit ashamed. “But this is stupid.” “Just tell me Y/N,” he repeated. “You won’t give up huh?” You flicked his forehead. “I won’t,” he replied. “Okay…,” you gave up. “I’m just scared of flying.” Seonghwa raised his eyebrows, surprised. But he simply nodded and grabbed his phone. “What are you doing?” you asked, a bit disoriented. “Cancelling our flight and renting a car.” “What? Seongh-” “We will take the plane when you will be ready,” he kissed your cheek before leaving the room. “This boy…” you smiled, falling on the bed.

YUNHO

You were in the van with the whole group. They needed to go in America for their new world tour. Yunho invited you to come for all the US stops. Of course, you accepted. You really wanted to follow your boyfriend overseas and learning new cultures. But at first you didn’t realize that going to United States means you will need to fly. You tried to find a ton of excuse to stay safe at home but a part of you really wanted to go there with Yunho and the whole group. So, there you are, sitting between Yunho and Mingi in the van. With these 2 towers, you can’t even jump off the car. “Are you okay Y/N?” Asked San behind you, pocking your shoulder. “You look tense.” “Ah?” you sneered. “Probably just tired by thinking of these longs hours of flight.” “I will ask the pilot to do some looping to wake you up.” He laughed at you. “NO!” you yelled; a bit too loud. “I mean… No.” you repeated quietly this time. “By any chance… are you scared of flying?” giggled Yunho. “Huh? What no!” you chuckled. “Cool because we have a ton of flights coming for this tour!” he pocked your cheek. “Oh… so cool…” you smiled shyly, hiding your embarrassment. They continued to talk about the tour and the flights the whole way to the airport. It wasn’t helping your fear to go away. You could imagine a thousand of scenes in your head, but they all ended by a crash. You were so focus in your thoughts, that you didn’t notice that everyone was already out of the van. “Y/N,” called Yunho. “Huh? Yes?” You looked at your boyfriend. “You’re not coming?” he asked, smiling lightly at you. “I don’t know…” you ran your hands in your hair, completely lost and frustrated. “What’s happening?” “I never told you about that because it’s probably so stupid but… I’m really really like really really really really really-” “Really what Y/N?” he stopped you. “Scared of plane, flying and stuff like that.” You finished; you avoided his stare. “Y/N! Yunho!” called San from the airport entrance. Your boyfriend made a quick sign, to make them understand that you were coming. “I know I should have told you earlier, but I really want to go there with you and the boys.” “Do you think you can handle all of these stops?” “I need to,” you shrugged. “I will help you to relax okay?” he tended his hand to you. “Okay…” you hesitate but held his hand. “It’s going to be okay!” He smiled. “It’s going to be the best time of your life!”

YEOSANG

You were reading a book about how to erase the flying fear you had since a long time. Yeosang and the group needed to go to Japan for a special promotion. Your boyfriend decided that it would be a good opportunity to bring you there since it would be your 2nd anniversary. After thinking about this proposition, you accepted. But you needed to find something which could help you to suppress or at least reduce the fear a bit. “I don’t want to take medicine…” you bit your lip. “I want something natural.” Too far in your thoughts, you didn’t notice Yeosang’s head appearing at the door frame. “Yes, but medicines are faster…” you changed your mind. “Y/N,” whispered Yeosang. “Gosh! You scared me!” You put your hand against your chest. “What are you doing?” he raised his eyebrow. “Nothing, just reading.” He stepped in the room, carefully closing the door before. “Reading what? A medical story?” he asked. You understood that he heard you talking about the pills. “Ah y-yeah… kinda.” You stuttered. “It’s a love but tragic story.” Yeosang laid down next to you, enjoying the warmness of the bed. “Are you ready for our little trip by the way?” “Talking about this…” you started. “Do you really think it’s a good idea? I mean it’s our first trip, it’s a big deal.” Yeosang looked at you, not understanding what you wanted to say. “It’s our 2nd anniversary, we are grown enough to spend 3 days in Japan.” “Yes, I know! But Japan is… you know, far away!” You played with the hem of your hoodie. “We could start with something closer! Like… I don’t know… Busan?” you offered. Your boyfriend sat up on his elbows, “what if instead of lying you tell me why you don’t want to go to Japan?” ‘He’s smart’, you thought. Visibly, you can’t lie to him. “Okay, it’s just that I’m scared of flying. It’s paralyzing me just to think about it!” “Oh, I didn’t know that.” “I never told you.” You whispered shyly. “Then… let’s cancel it and go somewhere else when I come back?” “Hmm… you were supposed to comfort me and told cringy things which could help me to hop in the plane, like in these fanfictions.” You claimed. “This is nonsense…” he yawned, laying back on the bed. “If you feel strong enough to beat your fear then come with me. I won’t force you to do anything.” “You and your nice vibes…” you rolled your eyes. “I know, I’m the perfect boyfriend.” He claimed before turning in the bed. “Just tell me when you’re ready. I’ll wait.”

SAN

You were walking with San, hand in hand, in the street. The weather was nice and not really cold. Just a hoodie or a simple jacket would keep you warm. “This is such a good night!” declared San happily. “Yes,” you giggled. “Good thing you had a night off.” “The promotion is going to end soon so I’ll be freer.” He brought you closer to him. “Oh already? I love to see your performing.” You pouted. “It’s the last promotion for this comeback not my career.” “I know but still.” San stopped in his track. You were about to ask him what was happening, but he pointed the ice cream truck in the corner of the street. “I thought you were dieting,” you smirked. “This night is too beautiful to think about a diet!” he stuck his tongue out at you and pulled you to the truck. You sat on a bench while your boyfriend was picking the sweet dessert. When you saw the smile on his face, you couldn’t help but to fall in love over and over again. “Why are you looking at me like I was the ice cream?” he laughed. You blushed lightly, but hopefully he couldn’t see it. “Just give it to me.” “Like this? No it’s boring. Open your mouth so I can do the plane. Like babies.” “Plane?” you repeated. “Yes,” he nodded. “Your parents never did the plane to help you to eat?” “I don’t think I’ll remind something like that, but they probably did.” You scratched your arm. “Maybe I would be less scared of planes with this technic.” San handed the ice cream to you, “really? It’s like a little fear or a phobia?” “I guess that it’s a phobia.” You shrugged. “I can’t stop thinking of crashing and stuff…” “Hum… like everyone, I guess. We all have this apprehension.” “Yes, but actually, you can go there. I can’t even step inside.” San stared intensely at you. “I can help you with that.” You sneered, “and how?” “Just relax and you’ll completely forget you are in a plane.” “Without being mean, let me doubt about that.” You replied. San brought his pinky fingers to your face. “Promise. I’ll erase all of your flying fear.” You hesitate. Erasing a phobia isn’t so easy. But with San, everything seems possible. “Okay, you better keep your promise.” You intertwined your pinky with his.

MINGI

You were with Mingi at the airport. Precisely, in the line to give your luggage. Mingi was so excited to go on tour with you. He asked a thousand of time his manager and CEO. Honestly, you think they accepted because they were done hearing him saying “please please please please pretty pleeease” the whole day. It’s a good thing for you now. You would enjoy the Europe countries and their special charms. But before strolling around the Eiffel Tour or the Madame Tussaud Museum, you would need to take a long flight. Flight means plane. Plane means your biggest fear. But the worst part, is that you will need to act like nothing is going on since Mingi ignored the whole thing. How you could hide your shaky legs for all the stops? “Babe what’s your seat number?” asked Mingi. “2-261,” you stuttered, trying to suppress the sob in your throat. “Okay I’m 262 so everything is alright.” You nodded, staring at your shoes to avoid his stare. But the man isn’t stupid, and he knows you too well. “Babe? Are you okay?” “Yep, so excited,” you lied, still staring your feet.” Mingi lifted your chin with his finger. “HUH?” he gasped, “why are you crying?” “I’m crying?!” you acted like you ignored this information. “Hey babe,” he whispered, holding you by your shoulders. “What is happening?” The question made you cry a little more. “I’m just so scared.” You sniffled. “Scared? Scared of what?” You wiped your tears, “flying.” “Ah…” he nodded. “That’s why you were always avoiding the subject.” “Ah, you noticed?” “Of course,” he giggled. “When I ask you if you are excited to fly and that you reply me that you want to bake… it was suspicious.” “Ah yes true...” you admitted. “It’s going to be okay babe, I’m here for you okay?” “Easy to tell but to do…” you sniffed. “You will be with me. So just focus on me! When you’re scared, tell me and I will help you to relax. When you are bored, tell me. I’ll entertain you.” He smiled. “Only you could make a whole fear so relaxing.” You smiled sadly. Mingi wiped the tear off your face, “everything my girl needs.”

WOOYOUNG

“Babe I need to book our flight; do you prefer to fly the morning or the night?” You gulped, “does it really matter? We are going to be stuck on a chair for 8 hours.” “Hum at night you can sleep during most of the flight.” He claimed. “Yay so I would die in my sleep...” you whispered. “Huh?” Asked Wooyoung. “What did you say?” “Night is good,” you smiled. “Okay then go for 9 PM.” You glanced at your boyfriend’s laptop screen. Just looking at those planes’ pictures made you sick. “Okay booked!” He clapped happily. “Yaay...” you claimed falsely. “I will print our tickets!” He claimed before rushing to his room. You slid lazily on the couch. “I will die...” you sighed. Why did you accepted to go to America with him? You buried a pillow on your face, secretly hoping that you will choke. “Stupid stupid stupid! So stupid Y/N!” You insulted yourself. “Babe?” Called Wooyoung with his tiniest voice. You glanced slowly at your boyfriend and gave him a shy smile. “I forgot my phone...” he pointed at the object next to you. “Ah...” you replied embarrassed. “Are... you okay?” You took a deep breath and sat up correctly on the couch. “Would you be mad at me if I say that I’m scared of flying?” “Of course not.” He replied instantly. “You are?” “Yep...” “Okay then do you want me to cancel our flight?” You shook your head, “I really want to go with you.” “Then okay!” He snapped. “I will bring so many things for the plane that you will be completely relaaax...” he smiled before rushing back to his bedroom. “What. Just. Happened?” You asked yourself. “Did you prefer Titanic? Or dirty dancing?” Yelled Wooyoung from the other room. Now, you ignored if you were scared because of your future flight or your boyfriend.

JONGHO

“What are you looking at babe?” Asked Jongho, plopping on the couch. “Suits.” You replied without even glancing at them. “You are so into Megan Merkle.” He chuckled. “She’s gorgeous!” “Sure...” he whispered, almost praying that you didn’t hear him. “Are you ready for tomorrow?” “Yes, my luggage is ready.” He sighed. “Too bad you can’t come with us.” “2 weeks isn’t that long sweetheart.” You rubbed his arm. “How can I survive without you?” He yelled dramatically. “Just FaceTime me between 2 fansigns.” You giggled. “Count me in.” You focused back on your series but Jongho asked. “By the way Y/N?” “Yes?” “Why you don’t want to come?” “I’m afraid of flying.” You replied, grabbing the pack of candy on the coffee table. “Really?” His eyes widened. “Yep...” “But you flew to Korea no?” “I spent the whole flight sleeping. I took so many pills I was slumbering for 2 days.” “Wow.” “But it’s okay. One day I will need to beat this fear again.” “Do you mean by that you will leave Korea?” He asked, worried. “No, silly.” You giggled. “I want to come with you, but now I don’t feel ready.” He kissed your hand, “I understand.” “Are you disappointed?” “What? Why would I be disappointed?” he asked. “Everyone has a fear.” “But because of this I can’t make you fully happy.” You bit your lip. “Usually I don’t curse but what?! This is bullshit Y/N!” “Come on, I know you want me to go with you…” “Yes, but it’s okay! I will just wait for you to be ready.” He insisted. “Hum…” you mumbled, not satisfied. “Listen.” He paused the TV. “I want you to come with me of course. Honestly, I want to bring you everywhere I go. But I’m not disappointed because of this. I’ll be glad to help you to be comfortable enough to go on a trip with me!” He explained. “Then I’ll do my best,” you smiled shyly. “Take your time, okay?” he kissed your hands. “Sure.”

[thetomorrowshow]

Slower Than Words Ch. 22

First  -  Previous  -  Next

Hey all! It’s good to be back! The break was much-needed, but I’ve missed interacting with y’all. Have a relatively calm chapter!

cw: food

~

Weeks passed, and Patton realized that lip-reading was harder than he thought it would be. Patton practiced every single day, studying the diagrams in the book and taking down notes on everything. Remus had at first practiced with him by saying a phrase and having Patton guess, but they had quickly realized that it was too advanced at this stage. Now, Remus held up a notecard with a phrase or word and said it. After going through five different different notecards, Remus would start over again without displaying the notecards. This helped Patton grasp it much quicker, and he had advanced to picking up several words that his therapists spoke in everyday conversation.

Sometimes, when he felt really excited, Patton would mimic the diagrams in the mirror, making the mouth movements for his own name, Remus's name, and Virgil's name. He already knew what his own name looked like, he found—he'd been unknowingly able to recognize it for years.

Patton always had the same translator at his doctor and therapy appointments, so he asked her a few questions about lip-reading and speaking. The woman was able to answer, usually, but there was rarely any time to get into a conversation. The woman did recommend some online resources and teachers for learning to speak, which Patton passed along to Remus. Patton didn't really understand the whole online thing yet. Virgil had tried to explain it several times, but it didn't make a lot of sense. Where did all of the information come from? Who put it there, ready for everyone to use? How was it usable?

Patton had learned how to use the internet in basic terms. He knew how to look for something in specific on Google, and he knew that Youtube was a thing because Remus liked showing him videos from it. Youtube had captions, unlike the television. Patton had found himself watching a lot of comedy videos, sometimes writing down the best jokes from them. He had a cheap blue notebook that he wrote the jokes and his notes in, and he kept it under his bed, like he used to do with his journal back ho—back at the cult.

Patton had researched the cult briefly on the internet, but had quickly become upset at seeing his own face on the cover of one of the articles that popped up. He'd closed it after seeing that several of the scientists, as well as the two prophets, were facing legal charges. That was all he'd needed to know.

Well, not really all. He'd been looking for any mention of Virgil. The one he'd read had mentioned him briefly, if not by name, and was now written in Patton's notebook: Investigations began after the appearance of two young men, both of whom required immediate medical care.

One was Remus. The other had to be Virgil. That meant Virgil was alive somewhere. Patton wondered if Virgil too was reading the articles, seeing that Patton was out, wondering how to find him.

Gosh, Patton missed him.

Right now, Patton was following along with a video on tongue movements for forming different letters. He wasn't sure that he was getting the S quite right, he'd have to ask Remus later. He took a few more notes on how to do it, then folded his notebook closed and took Father's laptop off incognito. Remus had taught him how to turn on and off incognito mode with a little wink, and now Patton used it almost every time he was on the laptop, which was only while Father was at his second job. For some reason, Patton felt that he wouldn't be allowed to do this.

He was just in time out of Father's room for Remus to get home from work, shooting him a fingergun (Virgil used to do those all the time) before throwing himself onto the couch. Patton longed to shake his shoulder, ask him for help practicing, but Remus was always tired right after work. Patton wasn't sure what he did, only that he was trying to find something else that paid better, so sometimes he would be out for hours after he was supposed to be home looking for a new job.

Patton slid into his room, flicking the light switch to turn it off. He rarely sat in his room with the light on, it made him uncomfortable. It almost felt as though someone was watching, though he knew that it was just a response developed from a traumatic situation, as his therapist had told him.

He'd barely been in his room for thirty seconds when Remus wandered in. He gestured to his mouth, and Patton watched carefully as he spoke.

“You - - - - to eat pr - - - - -.”

“One more time?” Patton signed. Remus repeated himself, but Patton still didn't pick it all up, so he asked Remus to sign it.

“You need to eat protein,” Remus signed slowly. “Diet time.”

Patton wasn't particularly hungry, but a part of regaining his body mass and retraining his body to eat normally was eating six or seven small, 'enriching' meals instead of three big ones. Remus was right, Patton realized as he checked the clock—it was time for his protein supplement, a meal usually made up of beef jerky and peanuts. Yay.

-

The weeks turned into months, and Remus decided that it was time for Patton to get some real world practice. Sure, he'd been going to therapy and all, but those folks rarely talked to him. It was time to play to Logan's weaknesses.

He brought it up over dinner one night, when Patton had already gone to bed. It rubbed him the wrong way that Logan sent him to bed instead of letting him stay up and talk to his pops, who had only been home for ten minutes. Sure, Pat had a schedule or whatever, and he had to follow it to stay healthy, but it should be his own decision. Still, there was nothing Remus could do about it. Except maybe this.

“So, when's your next day off?”

Logan shrugged. “I believe I have the morning of next Wednesday off, but that's all for next week. Why?”

Remus twirled his fork through the cheap macaroni and cheese, pretending to not be too interested in the outcome. “Just thinkin'. Pat's almost out of books again, we should probably make a trip to the library.”

Logan smiled softly at the suggestion—or maybe at Patton's name. There was no telling with the man.

“And his therapist's been saying he needs to go to a new place for enrichment or something like that. Wouldn't—”

Logan's face had already shuttered. “Absolutely out of the question. I cannot—”

“Lo, he really wants to,” Remus pleaded, letting his fork fall to the table. “He's gotta get out of this house. And what better place than a quiet library, where it's easy to watch him and sometimes there's a cop hanging out?”

“Remus, I—I can't,” Logan said, his face still stone, but now his eyes had grown sad. “I cannot, in good conscience, allow Patton to be in an unsafe environment. If I lost him again. . . .”

“You won't,” Remus cajoled. “I'll come too, watch him be safe. Just imagine how much he'll love it! Father-son bonding and all that crap!”

Logan looked down at his plate, clearly thinking deeply. Remus could almost see him weighing the options in his head. Internally, his heart rabbited, but externally Remus was the picture of calm. Hopefully. Maybe. He was probably not, but he could dream.

“I'll consider it,” Logan said eventually. “You are correct in assuming that the library is a place I would very much like to share with him. Tomorrow after tutoring Andy I will stop at the library and inquire after safety precautions. By Monday, I will have my decision.”

Remus leaned back, picking his fork up again. That was as close as he was going to get Logan tonight. If he continued to push it, Logan would completely shut down the conversation and then there'd be no chance of getting Pat out of the apartment.

They'd been watching a stupid black-and-white movie a week or three ago, and one of the characters had said a line that Patton had obviously related to. Remus had looked over to see tears brimming after the old man on screen said, “I thought I was supposed to be getting fresh air. So far, I've been in a train and a room, and a car and a room, and a room and a room.”

That probably really sucked for Patton. Remus went stir-crazy in this tiny apartment, and he was able to leave whenever he wanted. Patton left three times a week, and went straight to his appointments and then straight home. One of his doctors had actually just switched over to doing virtual appointments, so Pat was only leaving twice a week now. Kid had to be going insane.

-

Patton felt a bit like he was going insane.

He marked a tally in his notebook every day, one for each day that he had been out without Virgil. It sort of was a continuation of his tallies in the cell, but he couldn't remember where he had left off, so he had just started anew.

He had just filled a second page of tally marks. It had been months since he'd escaped, even longer since he'd seen Virgil. Every time Remus tried to tell him that everything was going to be okay, or Father told him that everything was okay, Patton felt anger simmer in his stomach. It was not okay, it couldn't be okay, it would never be okay without Virgil. Even if he had to be trapped in this horrible apartment for years, it would be wonderful with Virgil by his side.

Every day, he followed the same schedule. Therapy exercises, meals at precise times, lip-reading studies, regular reading, bed at ten PM. It was terrible.

He couldn't help but feel excited, though. He was leaving, at least for a little bit! Father had asked him if he wanted to go to the library with him tomorrow, and Patton had thought his heart was going to drop out of his chest. Both Father and Virgil had told him about libraries, and how beautiful they were, and how many books were always there.

Patton was finally going to a new place, and it was the library. All of the anger he'd been feeling over the past weeks had washed away, replaced only with anticipation. Even with Father there, this had to be the best thing to happen in months.

~

Taglist: @enragedbees @gotta-love-alejandra @bunny222 @basiic-emo @patt0n-sanders @rosiepupper @fangirlgeekandfreak @dn-fan21 @that2000skid @remy-the-lemon-berry @itsadastraperaspera @xionbean @sanderssides-angst @hell-yea-we-gay-tonight @maybedefinitely404 @broken-pencils @thewhimsicallibrarytech @doomllily @hereissananxiousmess @judyismydog  @arodynamic-enby @at-that-one-nerd @therapysides @awkwardandanxiousfander @thekitchenpan @im-an-anxious-wreck

[zeldah-writes]

Can’t Lose You (Spencer Reid x Reader)

Masterlist

Summary: A oneshot in which Reid’s injury leads to more than the usual “get well soon” from the reader. (Fluff, tiny angst)

Pairing: Spencer Reid and Reader (female)

Note: Hi there! I’d just like to say that I’m new to all of this and this is all in good fun. I love to read, so I thought that I’d give writing a chance. I’d love to hear what you think. Enjoy :)

Warnings: mentions of death, mentions of weapons, mentions of gunshot wounds, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of cheating, mentions of blood

Word Count: 2,159

------

“Jonas Everett, put the gun down,” Spencer demanded, as he assessed the situation in front of him.

You and the team have been in San Francisco for the past six days, working through another serial killer case. After many late nights and many phone calls to Garcia back at Quantico, the location and identity of the unsub was finally revealed. 

Right now, Jonas was armed and holding a young girl hostage.

“Who… Who the hell are you?!” Jonas yelled back at Spencer, clearly distraught at the fact that he was being disturbed by the FBI. 

So distraught, that Jonas forced the young girl he had tied up on the floor next to him to stand, while he pointed a gun to her head. The girl cried out, but was muffled by the cloth she had tied around her mouth.

“Alright, it’s okay, look. I’m going to put my gun away,” Spencer slowly lowered his gun and holstered it, putting his hands up after to show Jonas that he wasn’t a threat.

“My name is Spencer Reid and I work for the FBI. Listen Jonas, you have all the control here, I just want to talk. Me and my team have been studying your work. We think that what you’re doing is great and we want to show the world. You want to be famous right? We can make that happen.”

Jonas wasn’t picking his victims at random. The profile suggested that he was most likely hurt by a significant other because the only thing that linked all the victims was that they were all in a relationship where one partner was being unfaithful to the other. That, and the fact that all the victims had the word cheater cut into their forearm.

In the eyes of Jonas, he’s doing everyone a favor by getting rid of all the cheaters he could get his hands on. After killing the victims, he would place them in a public setting out in the open as a way to humiliate them as well as make himself known, without giving away his identity. He wanted any and all the recognition and reactions that the people could give him.

“Y-you think that my work is good?” The hand that Jonas held the gun in trembled as he tried to process what Spencer was saying to him.

“Oh, most definitely. Statistically, about 40% of relationships and 25% of marriages deal with at least one incident of infidelity. I think that all cheaters need to pay for their actions and face the consequences,” Spencer lied, knowing that he needed Jonas to trust him.

“You better not be lying, I need the public to know! They need to know what they’re doing is wrong! Everyone needs to know! You can do that, right?” Jonas yelled, as he took the gun away from the young girls head and pointed it at Spencer again.

“I promise you. I will make sure the whole world knows you name and what you did to keep people safe,” Spencer tried to reason, as he saw you and JJ creep around the corner behind Jonas, making sure to stay out of his line of sight.

Just as Jonas was about to lower his gun and surrender, he noticed Spencer’s eye flicker towards something behind him. That was the moment when Jonas knew Spencer was lying and trying to get into his head.

“You filthy liar! You’re no different!” Jonas became enraged and took a shot at Spencer.

As soon as you sensed danger, you retaliated and fired your gun towards Jonas, but you were a second too late. Your bullet hit Jonas in the back as Spencer got hit in his left shoulder, a place where the bulletproof vest didn’t cover.

Jonas fell to the floor, bringing the young girl with him as he used his last breath to whisper out, “liar.”

“Spencer, oh my gosh!” You sprinted across the empty room to Spencer as JJ ran to the young girl on the floor.

“We have an agent shot down, requesting medical asap please!” You frantically spoke into your earpiece, while applying pressure to Spencer’s wound.

“Y/N, please don’t worry. I’ll be fine. I hate seeing you so stressed out,” Spencer whispered, as he panted heavily. 

“Just stay awake, okay Spence? The medics will be here soon they’ll take care of you.”

After a few seconds, two emergency responders came and took Spencer away on a stretcher, spewing medical terms you couldn’t focus on. You’re biggest concern was Spencer’s well-being. 

“Hey, he’ll be okay. You know how strong he is. Now c’mon, lets go follow them to the hospital,” JJ comforted as she led the way to the SUV parked outside the factory.

~~~

Two hours later, you and the team were gathered in the hospital's waiting room, all anxiously waiting for an update on Spencer. 

As you sat with your right leg nervously bouncing, you couldn't help but feel guilty about the whole situation.

Spencer wouldn’t have gotten shot if you noticed the change in behavior quicker. If you hadn’t hesitated to fire your gun. How could you let this happen. What would you do without Spencer? You've already lost too many people in your life, you can’t lose him too. 

When you first started your job at the BAU three years ago, you specifically remembered Spencer catching your eye. He wore black slacks with a navy vest that covered a light blue button up shirt and a tie.

When you and Spencer were first introduced, you barely conversed with each other. You thought it was because Spencer didn’t take a liking to you, as you would always try to strike up a conversation with him, but all your attempts would end up with Spencer finding a way to awkwardly leave the conversation. Unbeknownst to you, however, your theory was far from the truth. When Spencer first saw you, he was entranced by you. He desperately wanted to talk to you, but whenever he tried, he found himself getting too nervous to hold a conversation, so to avoid being further embarrassed, he simply found ways to get as far away from you as possible. 

Just when you were about to reluctantly give up trying to talk to the handsome genius, he gained the courage to make a comment on a book you were reading, which led to a real conversation between the two of you. 

After that conversation, you and Spencer immediately clicked, and as time went on, you two eventually became best friends and basically inseparable. It started off with innocently getting coffee together in the morning and sitting together on the jet, but as you grew closer together, it turned into spending the night at each other’s apartments and being each other’s plus one to events. 

What you neglected to acknowledge, however, was the fact that you were starting to develop a new kind of love for Spencer. A romantic kind of love. 

Just because you pushed the new romantic feelings away doesn’t mean that the rest of the team didn’t pick up on it. According to Garcia, both you and Spencer were ‘blindly in love with each other.’

Despite the teams teasing, you thought that there was no way Spencer would ever be able to reciprocate your feelings. You were convinced that he saw you as a best friend, and absolutely nothing else. 

“Are you all here for Spencer Reid?” a man in scrubs holding a clipboard stood in front of you and your colleagues as you snapped out of your thoughts. 

“Yes, we are,” Hotch said, as him and the rest of the team stood up. 

“Alright, well, the bullet didn’t hit any major arteries or organs which made the surgery fairly easy, for us and Spencer. As for his recovery, I strongly advise for him to take a few weeks away from the field, and he’ll be back in full health rather quickly. He’s starting to gain his consciousness back and you’re all free to visit, but to avoid overwhelming him, one at a time please.”

As you listened to the doctor's words, you felt a big weight on your shoulders just disappear.

He’s okay. Spencer’s okay. 

You bit your lip and glanced at Hotch, seeing him already looking at you. 

There was no doubt he knew how much this was affecting you. 

“Go ahead, Y/N.”

You shot Hotch a small smile and turned to the doctor as he started to lead you to where Spencer was. 

“This is it, room 23D,” the doctor said, as he stopped in front of a closed door with ‘23D’ engraved on a sign next to it. 

“Thank you so much,” you turned to him. 

He nodded with a smile and walked towards a group of doctors a few feet away. 

You took a deep breath to brace yourself, and opened the door. 

“Y/N?” Spencer croaked out as you walked through the door. 

“Spencer… you’re okay,” you sighed in relief, closing the door behind you. 

You walked towards him and sat in a chair next to his bed. He looked tired, no doubt from all the anesthesia. You smiled at him and pushed his messy hair away from his forehead, something you would do often. 

Even after surgery he managed to look so attractive. 

“I am. A little sore, but it’s not like this is my first time getting shot,” Spencer smiled up at you, rubbing your arm that was pushing his hair back. 

“I know, but… I was so worried. Spence, I can’t lose you. I don’t know what I would do with myself. Especially because it was my fault! I shouldn’t have hesitated and-” I started to ramble before Spencer cut me off. 

“It wasn’t your fault. I know you probably don’t believe me, but it’s true. I’m here right now and I’m here to stay. I’m not going anywhere,” Spencer moved his hand that was on my arm to my cheek. He smiled reassuringly, but the action just made my heart beat faster than it was before. 

“I love you, Spencer,” you blurted out. You could feel your face getting warm as Spencer stared at you. 

“I love you too, Y/N,” Spencer replied after a few seconds, thinking that you meant it as a friendly gesture. 

“No, I mean...I just,” you stopped to take a deep breath. “Spencer. I’m in love with you.”

Spencer’s eyes widened, his grip on your cheek loosening. 

You looked down, embarrassed of what you just confessed. You weren’t even sure why you said it. It just came out in the heat of the moment.

“I’m really sorry. I didn’t-”

“Look at me,” Spencer cut you off and took your hand in his, but you refused to move. Gripping tightly, he whispered, “please.”

You cautiously trailed your eyes from the ground up to his chocolate eyes that were intensely focused on you. 

“Y/N, I’m in love with you too.”

Wait. What? Did you hear him correctly?

“What?” 

Spencer laughed lightly and pushed a couple strands of loose hair behind your ear.

“I am so madly in love with you Y/N.”

When those words came out of his mouth, you nearly fainted. On the outside, you kept your composure, but on the inside, you felt like you were on fire and could combust any second. You couldn’t resist the smile that broke out on your face, though. 

“I know you insisted you’re okay, but I do recall you saying you were a bit sore. Is there anything I can do to help,” you bit your lip and smiled at Spencer, subconsciously leaning closer to him.   

“Now that you mention it, I think that a kiss would really make me feel better,” Spencer smirked as he trailed his hand up your arm.

“Yeah? And where would that kiss need to be, Dr. Reid,” your faces only inches apart by now. 

“Right here,” Spencer breathed out as he pulled your face towards his, capturing your lips.

Your hands immediately found themselves tangled in Spencer’s unruly hair, while his hands were grasping your face.

The kiss was so full of passion and love. It felt like two pieces of a puzzle were finally conjoining, like you belonged together. When you kissed him, you felt your whole body heating up with desire. You wanted to stay there and kiss him forever, with no end. 

But alas, the beautiful moment was broken by the need to breathe. 

You were both breathing heavily, as you rested your forehead against his. You stayed in that position for a while before Spencer started to talk. 

“You know, if you keep kissing me like that, I think I’ll recover much faster than the doctor suggested.” 

“Well, we can’t have you away from the field too long, right?”

[floxalopex]

I don't know if somebody already did this specifically. But yh the heck let's go.

WARNING 1: THIS IS NOT A POST FOR SENSITIVE PEOPLE AND/OR MINORS. (it contains gore and sexual themes and more).

And yes, SALT. Lots of salt.

WARNING 2: this has nothing to do with Christianity specifically. Atheism isn't hate towards your god(s) and/or its believers. Although there are many forms of atheism (some of which are so strong and violent they make me furious) think about mine as a general form of indifference. I hate the Church state, yes, but sorry I have that "at home" so please don't blame me. I don't like Abrahamic religions in general, but I've grown up with one.

I'm thankfully not a cult survivor, but I can understand some things.

WARNING 3: living in a very religious contest I have many beloved friends and relatives (starting with my mother) who believe in their god a lot. So if my words are too disrespectful tell me, I really don't want to hurt anybody.

Okay.

So.

I've seen many similarities between the cult Horde Prime put his clones in and your very average, very white, very western idea of Christianity.

1) Theophagy:

First of all, I really don't know much how this thing is lived in other Christian countries, but in mine they put a lot of emphasis on the Eucharist.

As far as I've seen I think it's pretty obvious how much in ancient cultures there's a very carnal and very grounded idea of the spirit. That can result in believing the soul to be the "psyche", so literally "the breath of life", the coordination of your sinapsis togheter (to me a very poetic definition of how our whole being ourselves is just us being our central nervous system) or it can lead to you eating the ashes of your granpa so you get his good qualities (something some cultures still do today). They said that the head of Orpheus was buried in the island of Lesbo and that's why its land was filled with amazing poets like Sappho. There's this very, sorry, brutal idea of the embodyment of the soul, the talents of a person, that even a piece of corpse is considered a magic thingy.

This is no different in the very old, very ancient, very rural Christian religion (at least in the most common version of it, we have many flavours of one truth apperentely).

When I was in High School we studied a lot Bacchus and the Baccanalia, because there are several commedies about it. My teacher, being very religious, was almost ashamed to admit that a lot of acts of those festivities (let's say that the most normal thing was for women to give their milk to animal cubs) were actually not very dissimilar in their rawness to certain habits of the religion.

So, what about Horde Prime? (me *yh, what about it, stupid ADHD?*). I have seen a post in the past explaining that yes, even though spacebats have the dentition of a frugivore bat and not haematophagus bat, the scene of Prime recharging in his throne with all those disgusting cables filled with green liquid referred as "the life force" of his clones...well, it's surely something.

Looks like a sort of sci-fi vampire thing. Which is very cool and I love this headcanon. So again I kept thinking...what is THAT amniotic fluid? I am a student, so correct me if I say something wrong.

Amniotic fluid is a combination of water 99%, proteins, glucids, fats and some salts (...it's even effective for electric conduction...the heck is that pool).

The most similar body fluid is plasma, so blood less cells. Even the serum, so plasma less proteins, is very similar.

Now, stated that Prime is a manipulative jerk, stated that I don't know much about aliens' physiology, stated that that fluid can come from blood potentially, in Church they say this:

*and Jesus said: "This is my body/blood which I offer in sacrifice for you"*

Apart from it being very creepy, there's this idea in the whole religion-thingy: if you are human you are a selfish monster, so monstrous you made our Lord and Savior die for your sins for how messed up you were.

So basically you don't become a sinner, you are concived as one. Humanity is sin itself, it can never lead to something good.

So are the clones. That's why Prime, in his benevolence, feeds them with himself. To make them pure, to protect them from the outside world. To make them remember who their strenght comes from.

If you don't want to read all of this just go for the Futurama soda episode, it's basically the same thing. Bleah.

2) Corpse feticism and more.

Again, don't know you guys, but here we are filled with mummies. I went in a place in Palermo and ...my gosh why did I do that.

We have everything here, hands, heads, feet, teeth so many of them, dead babies, dead virgins, dead popes, dead elders, all of them for half the prize, but only if you call today.

We are. Filled. With these atrocities. At least we don't touch them anymore.

Sometimes I wonder if, apart from the "hygene", people in Middle Ages used to die at the honorable age of 13 also because they kissed those... thingies there.

So, can we please talk about Horde Prime collection of "previous selves"?

This man has a whole room filled with corpses of himself. In the Vatican you can find corpses of dead popes as well, preserved and even dressed in a very good way. In Italy in general we have these, I remember a whole room in a town near my city filled with skeletons of "saints". Personally I find it very disturbing because you are basically not allowing that body to rest and serve its last biological purpose, especially if you consider that most of these "saints" were mentally impared young kids who were killed brutally and died as "martyrs". In ancient Greece the WORST thing you could do to a corpse was to leave it unburied, without dignity.

It's getting darker now.

I like both headcanons for Prime, that of a spoiled (maybe even sexist) royal of a lost culture who wanted to conquer the universe and that of him being a sort of ancient evil spirit, but I personally like to stick with the latter.

Imagine the old bodies of the clones Prime used for himself. Pushed to their limits. Clones dying young is horrific as well, but like these people were forced to go on. Not to die. Not to age as much as possible. And now that they are dead they can't even rest. They are a show off for anyone to see. Their brains preserved and their literal dead flesh still tormented for reading.

One may ask me, then what about corpses in formalin for medical use? Well, one thing is a donor or a dead fetus or a corpse nobody claims. That's the story of the skeleton in my university, a young male who didn't eat much. A very lonely man. Well at least now he is well loved and appreciated, ah if only he knew that.

The point is, we respect them. We are grateful for the informations they give us. Gosh, I know I'm creepy, but I even cuddled one bone once. We know they probably suffered. Like, search for HeLa cells. That lady has my highest respect.

But Prime? Those are. Vessels. Just that.

Anyways, apart for the "respect the deads thing" I found Hordak's behaviour in that room that of high distress. Like, ehm, any normal person? Search for "Convento Dei Cappuccini", that place I was talking about in Palermo. The fact that I heard kids cry and "MEMENTO MORI" everywhere.

Everyone and everything is afraid of death, I just accepted that fear because it's normal. That doesn't mean I want to be reminded of it every week, especially if I'm a 7 yo kid.

Honorable mentions: that horrible art collection.

3) Double standards

When I went to catechism my teacher used a very feather hand on males and an iron fist on us ladies. We weren't allowed to wear trousers, to play football, to raise our voice. We were forced to be very clean, to sit with our legs as closed as possible. I heard it was worse before, at least we could play volleyball and weren't forced to knit.

We were however "encouraged" to sing and bake stupid cakes for Sundays. Mind you, I'm very feminine, but one thing is liking ribbons one thing is being a slave.

The boys...well, they could literally do anything. They broke things, used petards, beat each other. They were NEVER reproached, the teachers would say "oh, they are just boys". Like once I was so engrossed. I remember I had to sit behind a guy with his butt almost uncovered (because the lower you put the helm of your trousers the cooler you were) while I had to stay still with my head high, chest out, belly in and legs closed for 2h. The problem was: I almost pitied him. I was like "poor thing he doesn't know how to behave properly". That's so crazy, I was piting a free soul while I had my hands handcuffed because I truly believed the bullshit they put into my mind.

Now, imagine how did Horde Prime's clones feel about Catra and Glimmer.

They can dress as they please. Eat non amniotic fluid. Catra can even go wherever she wants.

To me, they didn't feel envious. As they should! That's how far an indoctrination can go.

Take Yudi interaction with Catra, he believes everything he is saying.

But I think deep down he knows, they all know, the truth, juding by his bitter reaction after being possesed. He knows he is the slave here, not the free man. But he wants to believe the other way round.

I think that yes, of course Prime kept Glimmer and Catra (and Hordak) because he needed them to conquer Etheria. But that is also a good way to show to the poor clones of how lost people far away from Prime's light can be. Slaves of their bodly needs and slaves of their individuality.

4) Sexual abuse

Do I need to explain this? Plus all those sick touches Prime gives not only to Hordak, but to Glimmer, Catra and Adora as well?

I don't know much about other countries, again, but here the Church is a real cancer. If a priest gets accoused of raping children he just gets put into another Church far away, and generally he keeps being a pedo even there and the game goes on.

I wouldn't exately say that Prime is a pedophile but clones are pretty innocent and neotenic to me so...idk.

Of course, Prime is his own state and his own rules, so yh. Raping all day. That's why I don't like to ship him with anything rather than a 100 m fall. Not even with his clones, sorry I know its kinky maybe but he is a monster.

Also, the way the clones feel like...honored to be raped. That's so sad. Maybe he convinced them this is the only right way they could experience sex and intimacy. I really don't know.

One thing I'm sure of is that Christian religion likes to often put shame on some "impure" acts. That's the name. The most impure of all is masturbation. If you are a male ...mmm well it's okay dear, it's not your fault you are male and so a sex starved animal. But if you are a girl? Ihhh oh dare you bitch.

Mind you, I fall in the ace spectrum but I did too have puberty and needs, and these thoughts in my head made me only conflicted.

Last thing. More of an asking. And more irriverent, so please stay away if you don't want to read.

So basically I understood I was atheist at 5 yo, just because I read two different versions of the birth of the Universe, one in my science book and one in my Bible (MY Bible, I still have it, was a gift of my aunt) and preferred the science version. I still felt conflicted, like once during a religion lesson at School (well...I don't blame Mussolini much in this case, I mean the Vatican wasn't still recognizing country indipendence and we needed a compromise) the teacher told me to stop drawing dinosaurs with Adam and Eve because they never existed. I mean...yes that's anachronistic but still I felt very sad, dinosaurs were cooler than that story. I remember I even made an experiment "if I say I don't believe in god will I get thunderstruck?". It didn't happen so I was like "oh cool, science wins". But then CATECHISM ecc ecc. The fun fact is that they think atheists are those who don't study religion, while I was the most zelous of the class.

So.

I just wonder...my baby boy Hordak is a man of science, what were his thoughts after his separation from Prime. I mean of course he still believed, but also not as much after some time. Entrapta is a support system for him of course, but he accepts her affection quite easily on canon. Which is amazing, still... maybe he was already doubting his devotion?

[brave-clarice]

“Clarice” Liveblog: Episode 1

Here are my extremely unfashionably late takes! They’re long, so strap in if you want.

okay, I genuinely thought the scenes in Gumb’s basement were ripped from the film for a second. extremely well done.

I both appreciate that they’re acknowledging the Bureau-mandated psych eval Clarice would have to go through (not sure she’d have to have another one a year later?)...

...but I sure wish they hadn’t chosen to open this show in a therapy-like session. it’s going to be subject to enough NBC comparisons as it is.

gosh, Rebecca Breeds is so pretty, and in the same almost, idk, elfin kind of way Jodie Foster is.

“Bride of Frankenstein”! a novel reference! and a Hannibal Lecter reference even though they can’t use his name! I’m excited

I was afraid of this part, though--everyone’s going to call her “Clarice” aren’t they?

it’s very significant that in the books, Hannibal is virtually alone in using her first name to address her; even Ardelia calls her “Starling.” but of course this series chose “Clarice” as its title, so...

“the checkout lady at the Safeway asked me to autograph a melon” omg

so Clarice has supposedly been “mandated” to see an FBI therapist for an entire year? hmm.

tbh, this feels kind of like a proxy for Hannibal’s scenes in the movie, especially with the therapist calling her “Clarice.” not sure if I dig it.

“...given that your last therapist was an inmate” Hannibal reference #2!

they’re explicitly talking about Hannibal without being able to name him and it’s hilarious, frustrating, and immensely satisfying all at once.

there’s no way to avoid talking about him altogether without being disingenuous to Clarice’s eventual character arc, so I’m glad they’re ripping off the band-aid early

“you let that relationship be intimate”  Yeah, Clarice and Hannibal’s relationship IS intimate and YOU! SHOULD! SAY IT!!!

it’s kind of ridiculous for this guy/the show not to acknowledge that little trainee Clarice was sent to see Hannibal by someone who should’ve known better. That Crawford was doing it with the intention to save lives doesn’t mean he didn’t use the shit out of Clarice.

that’s not to take away her agency or minimize the choices she made after she met Hannibal. She wouldn’t have been in a position to make those choices if Crawford hadn’t arranged it, though.

even if they don’t have the rights to Crawford’s name, either (I have to assume that’s the case) couldn’t they at least mention this??

“hasn’t seen her own family in years” Are they actually going to address Clarice’s maybe-dead-maybe-not mother (depending on the canon they adopt, book or film) and possible siblings??? Please tell me they are!

Clarice’s “egregious” PTSD doesn’t have much to do with Buffalo Bill ofc, and this therapist seems to be making excuses to be the first in a long line of men getting in the way of Clarice’s career goals...

...which she recognizes and confronts him about. Call him out!!!

*Anthony Hopkins voice* That’s my girl.

the way she’s been written in this scene gives me a lot of hope going forward! she’s funny, she doesn’t take any sexist bullshit, she’s calm and polite but you get a glimpse of the rage underneath. 

wow, they promoted Senator Martin to Attorney General!

the opening credits (if you can even call them that) are a let-down, though

she has her beads!

can anyone who’s not Hannibal please stop calling her Clarice

wonder if they’re going to touch on any of the extreme tension that existed between Senator Martin and Clarice in the novel? they didn’t interact in the movie, but in the book, Martin is under intense stress, and it doesn’t go smoothly.

of course in “Hannibal,” Martin invites her to “ride horses,” so they obviously reconciled after Catherine’s rescue and kept in some kind of touch.

and speak of the devil: horses! (and Catherine)

“I can’t have a reputation, I’ve only done it once” Thank you for being the voice of reason, Clarice.

“Paul Krendler” *ugly screaming commences*

“you don’t have any people, Clarice” Aaand that’s the plot of the Hannibal novel!

looks like they even gave her the ring Jodie’s Clarice wears!

oh yeah, this Krendler looks like a sumbitch if I ever saw one. No one will ever be as perfectly cast as the dude in Silence imo, but a much better fit than Ray Liotta. 

“small carat, but it’s a sweet ring” A very in-character observation probably directly informed by her comments about nail polish in Silence.

she mentions this victim’s nail polish (!) being “tasteful,” and I shrieked a little again.

I understand it’s necessary for Krendler to be a douche, but there’s not even going to be any payoff for the audience (or Clarice) when Hannibal eats him, so boo.

wait...wait, why aren’t Clarice and Ardelia in their Alexandria duplex? They’re not just best friends, they’re roommates! For the entire seven-year story! GIVE ME THE DUPLEX!!!

BUT points for Ardelia bringing Clarice a treat, since she was always leaving her candy bars in the Silence book!

Clarice interacting with the washer/dryer is a nice nod to the books, too.

speaking of... “What did we learn in the laundry room back at Quantico?” For some reason this line made me actually cry, I guess because this whole episode has been such a love letter to something I love so dearly, and it’s making me emotional.

FIRST PRINCIPLES!

DESPERATELY RANDOM!!!

wow, the men in Clarice’s new office giving her lotion as a hazing “welcome” gift is awful, and now I’m just mad (which is the point of the scene ofc).

so this ex-military OC is the John Brigham stand-in, I take it?

if that means John Brigham won’t be here, No Thanks.

Clarice telling him she’ll drive...a tribute to Dana “Why Do You Always Have to Drive?” Scully, perhaps (who was herself inspired by Clarice) as well as a nod to Clarice’s love of cars?

“Why do they call you the bride of Frankenstein?” Sorry, I don’t have the legal rights to tell you about my last intimate relationship.

“Already on my way to West Virginia Granny Witch” Look, this show could crash and burn from this scene on, and it would still have been worth it just for these first 25 minutes.

I like that Clarice is shown wanting to help people, and the scene of her with the baby is a nice call-back to the eventual shoot-out at the beginning of “Hannibal”...but I hope they don’t try to domesticate her too much. Clarice needs her hard edges. To be tough (reasonably so)--a cub growing into its big cat’s claws.

also, somehow I doubt that Miss Valedictorian spent her six years in the Lutheran home “changing a lot of diapers,” but sure, okay. If her siblings are alive in this, she might have changed their diapers!

even though Krendler’s a real dickwad so far, he’s not slimy enough for me. Needs more grease.

“I got a call from your therapist who’s concerned that you might genuinely flip out” I really do not like this subplot Sam-I-Am. Aren’t the huge glass ceiling/Boys’ Club obstacles enough?

seriously, though, I know Hannibal tells her that the metaphorical lambs will come back--at the end of Silence, though, she’s at some kind of temporary peace, not in danger of “flipping out” any time soon.

if Esquivel really is our Brigham stand-in, I’ve got...problems with that. He was Clarice’s teacher and became her friend, not some Krendler double-agent. (Also worried they’re setting him up as a love interest for her which...eesh, no thanks.)

and sorry, I actually hate that Catherine kept Precious the dog in this.

I have no problem with Catherine being a character, or with her interacting with Clarice...that said, I don’t know if her being shown as severely traumatized and reaching out to Clarice as a form of emotional lifeline is...a good idea?

I understand the symbolism of Catherine’s smashed mirror, but...smashed mirrors are already a Thing in this series (albeit not Clarice’s chapter in it), and that’s all I can think of here.

Catherine’s a victim of unthinkable trauma. Nevertheless...she’s talking to the woman who saved her life. Who risked death to do it. I just don’t like the way this scene is written. Apparently, in this show’s canon, Catherine hasn’t gotten the help she needs. But Clarice isn’t her therapist, and it’s upsetting to have Catherine being all “I’ll never be safe and neither will you.”

how does Catherine remember “the mannequins, the autopsy table”?? And why is she throwing them in Clarice’s face?

I’m going to stop talking about this scene now because it’s making me angry and a little upset, which is maybe the point? I just don’t think it’s written well. If Catherine’s going to be a recurring character, I hope she’s shown getting professional, medical help.

Clarice finding the victim’s papers in the box of pads is a direct callback to her finding the photos in the jewelry box in Silence. Nice.

let’s agree that Hannibal and Crawford are both in Ardelia’s (too-cutesy-for-me) book

another nice little X-Files homage?

I have some qualms about that big climax, but...meh. It was capital-F Fine.

Yikes, this is a full week late. Thanks for reading this entirely-too-long post through to the end, if you’re still here! 

To sum up my thoughts...

The Good: 

the visual connections to the Silence film (that green coat/blue knit scarf combo in particular)

Rebecca Breeds’ performance overall so far

Clarice’s strong writing/characterization

her sense of humor and her inclination to call out bullshit

maybe it was just me, but I also got a sense of Hannibal’s influence on her in some of her dialogue--her blunt observations--and I love it

Ardelia Mapp

the repeated in-your-face references to Hannibal Lecter

the respectful, non-exploitative way the victims were treated by the narrative.

let’s just say, not all Harris-inspired shows managed to do this. :)

the many, many allusions to the novel

“you let that relationship be INTIMATE” !!!

The Bad: 

the near-constant implication that all Clarice’s trauma stems from her experiences in Gumb’s basement

I just don’t understand this one...it’s not supported by the text imo

the “Clarice-is-a-psychological-loose-canon” subplot

almost everyone calling her “Clarice”

NO DUPLEX IN ALEXANDRIA! Boo!

Esquivel maybe replacing Brigham

the narrative choices they’ve made surrounding Catherine so far.

Seriously: please let Catherine seek/get help instead of screaming “HELP ME” at Clarice, who after all risked her own life to save Catherine’s, over the phone.

The Ugly: Paul Krendler, lol. Confession time: I also don’t care for the way they’ve styled her hair. Not sure why it bugs me, it just...does.

Overall, I’m thrilled to death with this. I was so afraid it would be disappointing, so even if it’s not a five-star episode (and pilots rarely are), it’s a great beginning! It’s beyond amazing to see our girl on the screen again. Just this hour-long episode did her character way more justice than the entire Hannibal film. Despite its shortcomings, it’s such a loving homage to characters and a story that mean a lot to me, and I love it just for that.

Going forward, I’d like to see more of Clarice as a person. Her hobbies and interests--cars, sharpshooting, running, fashion magazines stuffed under her bed, horseback riding, her total inability to cook...anything would do. I of course want to see more of her with Ardelia. I want to hear more about her backstory and find out which version of it (truly orphaned when her father dies or sent away by her mother) they’ll choose to explore. And while we all agree that this show is about Clarice and she don’t need no man, I won’t lie: I’d gobble up more sly references to Hannibal. He’s her endgame, after all.

I’d also like to really see the warrior underneath. There are flashes of her in the last twenty minutes of this episode. But Clarice Starling is a big cat, she’s a warrior, she’s between iron and silver. I’d hate for her to spend most of this show doe-eyed and traumatized. I want her to be ferocious, to see the woman who’s a match for the monster.

Krendler needs to get nastier. He should make us feel like we need to shower. In the novels, he wants to use Clarice--only for her body. And when she won’t allow him to, he takes his revenge. That’s what makes him so particularly awful. Let’s amp him up here.

And finally...maybe I’ll appreciate Catherine’s scene more on a second watch. Maybe I’m not being sensitive enough to her trauma, her struggles. But I didn’t like the way that scene was staged or scripted, and I didn’t like the suggestion that she just hasn’t gotten help after a year and is subsequently taking her pain out on Clarice on some level. I hope future episodes handle this subplot, and her character, a bit better.

Please let me know if you guys would like me to do another of these monstrosities for the next episode. (I promise it won’t take me an entire week this time!) And thank you again for reading!!! 

[bi-bard]

Do You Ever Stop to Think About Me?- Emily Prentiss Imagine (Criminal Minds)

Title: Do You Ever Stop to Think About Me?

Pairing: Emily Prentiss X Reader

Song Drawn: Dorothea

Word Count: 1,687 words

Warning(s): Mentions of feeling abandoned, broken promises

Summary: Memories were strange things. Some feel like they’re forgotten in seconds, others seem to last a lifetime. When the source of (Y/n)’s longest lasting memories rolls back into their small town, how will they react?

Author’s Note: I got halfway through this and realized that I basically wrote some very weird version of the first season of You... oh well. Please consider supporting my Ko-fi account. It would mean a lot to me. If I know there are people interested in it, I’ll get the monthly donation part set up. 

Buy me a coffee? https://ko-fi.com/khoward0

If you want to know more about my Taylor Swift writing challenge, click here!

--------------------------------------------------

“It appears that the FBI has just arrived on the scene of the latest crime-”

I popped my head into the living room when I heard the news. I had been trying to keep up with the latest string of murders in my town. Not only had they been a strange occurrence in a town as small as ours, but they were also incredibly graphic... at least that’s what the news was saying.

My heart felt like it stopped when I saw who got out of the car. Emily Prentiss. I’d be damned. I hadn’t seen her in years. Some of us moved from city to city... or country to country while others stayed in the same town their whole life. She threw a quick “no comment” at the reporter’s question and walked into the house with some of her coworkers.

“Wow,” I mumbled before checking the time. “Oh, shit.”

I had work that day. A librarian in a small town wasn’t the best gig in the world but it paid fine and I got to be surrounded by things I loved. 

I was sitting at the front desk, checking on which books were overdue and which ones had just been checked back in.

“Excuse me,” I looked up to see Emily and two men standing there.

“Emily,” I said, furrowing my eyebrows. “Emily Prentiss... I don’t know if you remember me. I’m (Y/n) (Y/l/n).”

“(Y/n),” she repeated, smiling at me. “I remember you, I promise.”

I stood up, walking around the desk and hugging her. 

“This is Agent Morgan and Dr. Reid,” she introduced. I shook Morgan’s hand and waved back at Dr. Reid. 

“What can I help you guys with,” I asked. 

“We were wondering if you’d seen anything odd here recently,” Agent Morgan explained. “Maybe a man coming here a lot suddenly. Maybe you’ve talked to him. Probably close to your age, awkward, most likely white.”

“I can’t think of anything,” I said, biting my lip as I tried to think. “We don’t have many regulars and when we do they tend to stick to themselves.”

“Did you know any of the victims,” Dr. Reid asked. 

I shook my head, “Not personally. Some of them would come in here every now and then but I tend to be a bit of a fly on the wall when no one needs my help.”

“Here,” Emily handed me a card with her number on it. “Keep your eyes open, call me- I mean- us if you see anything.”

“Do you have security cameras,” I looked back over at Reid and nodded. “Can we take a look at them?”

I nodded, stepping back behind my desk so I could hand him a key, “This will get you into the room. It’s in the back right corner. Door says ‘Security,’ you can’t miss it. We have backlogs for a week so I don’t know how much you can get off of it.”

“Thank you,” Reid and Morgan walked off. 

“Emily,” I said, touching her arm. “Am I in danger?”

“I... I don’t know.”

“Emily...”

“The other victims look like you, the library is the center of the hunting ground. Yes, I’m worried about you. Keep your eyes open. Don’t go somewhere private with someone you don’t know. Just... please be safe.”

“I’ll try,” I nodded. Emily was about to walk away. “Hey... I don’t know how long you’re going to be in town after this but... if you’re able... do you want to go out for drinks? Catch up?”

She grinned at me, “That sounds really nice.”

“Okay,” I chuckled awkwardly before grabbing a spare piece of paper, quickly scribbling my number down before handing it to her. “If I can help you guys anymore, let me know.”

“Okay,” she nodded. “I’ll see you later.”

I nodded. She walked back towards where her coworkers had gone earlier. I sat down at my desk, trying to stop blushing before going back to work. I spent about twenty more minutes working before I saw Dr. Reid walk out quickly while talking on the phone. 

Agent Morgan walked over and handed me the key, “Thank you for your help.”

“You’re welcome,” I replied. Emily waved at me as she and Agent Morgan left. 

I had stood up to go put some books on the desks. It was slower today than usual but it gave me more time to get my work done. I only left the desk because the library was empty. I popped my head out from behind a shelf when I heard the door open and close. I saw a man standing by the desk.

“Can I help you,” I asked, walking over to the desk. 

“Hey,” he said, waving at me. 

“Hi,” I chuckled. “Can I help you?”

I was caught off guard by the man jumping at me and holding a knife to my neck. I stuttered over some words, scared out of my mind.

“Come on,” he pulled me closer. “We have a date tonight.”

--Time Skip--

“Listen, just let me go, and we can talk about this,” I said, trying to not cry in front of him. 

“This is the only way,” he replied as he finished tying me to the chair. “This is the only way for us to be together. All those girls. The ones who wanted to take your place.”

“I...I...”

“Don’t you remember,” he asked. “You always were so kind to me. Whenever I came in, Mondays and Fridays-”

“The Fantasy section,” I mumbled.

Agent Morgan said that he would awkward but this man was as casual and confident as a man his age. I saw him each week. I gave him a wave as I did with everyone. How did that turn into him think I loved him?

“I’m so happy that you remember,” he cupped the side of my face. I noticed the knife in his other hand. “I love you.”

I knew very well that it would’ve been very bad for me to reject him. Knives were scary.

“I love you too,” I replied shakily. He smiled, tilting his head at me. 

I was terrified. I didn’t know how long I was going to have to do this or if I was going to be able to. I tried to force a smile at him.

I shouted when the door was kicked open. Agent Morgan and Emily walked in with their guns drawn. The man stood behind me, knife by my throat. 

“Hey, hey, put the knife,” Emily said. “You love (Y/n), right?”

“Yes and you won’t come between us,” he shouted. 

“But killing them would,” she reasoned. 

“Please,” I begged quietly. “If you love me, you’ll listen to them.”

“But-but-”

“I’ll never get to see you again if I’m dead,” I continued. “Please. For me.”

I let out a sigh as he moved the knife away from me. Agent Morgan stepped forward, handcuffing him after the knife clattered on the ground. The man watched me with a smile as he was led out. Emily walked over and started untying me.

“So... how about that drink,” I tried to joke.

“You’re being funny,” she asked. “You just had a knife to your throat.”

“I must be trying to avoid it by using humor as a coping mechanism,” I said, rubbing, now untied, wrists. “That’s a thing, right?”

“I don’t know about immediately after,” she replied, finishing untying my ankle. “Can you stand up?”

“Yeah,” I nodded, standing up. Emily supported me even though I was standing. “So... that drink?”

“My god,” she laughed as we walked. “Get cleared by the medics and I’ll go for that drink tonight... if I can clear it with my boss.”

“Deal,” I said. 

Emily passed me over to the medics with a grin before walking over to talk to some man in a suit and scowl that looked like it hadn’t moved in years. The medics checked on me quickly. I wasn’t too concerned. I hadn’t actually been hit but I could see why they needed to check on me. Emily walked back over just as they were wrapping up. 

“Good news,” she said. “My boss has encouraged me to go. Is (Y/n) going to be alright to go?”

“Should be alright, everything looks normal and they aren’t describing any pain,” the EMT nodded. I stood up and thanked them. 

“I know this lovely restaurant,” I started rambling. Emily just smiled and nodded.

--Time Skip--

We both thanked the waitress as we handed back the menus. I looked at her and grinned.

“I should thank you for saving me,” I said, trying to break the awkward silence between us. 

“It’s my job,” she shrugged. I raised an eyebrow at her. “You’re welcome.”

I chuckled at her, shaking my head for a moment. Another moment of silence took over the conversation. I looked down at the table.

“Can I ask you something,” I tilted my head at her. She nodded. “Did you ever think about me after you left?”

“Of course I did,” she replied. “You were one of my best friends ever. You made yourself very hard to forget.”

“Oh,” I chuckled. “I never forgot you either... you were... gosh... a little more than a best friend.”

“What?”

“Emily, we made out, you were my first kiss, you took me out on a date,” I said. “You don’t remember?”

“I do but I didn’t think about how much you’d hold onto that... we never really talked about it.”

“I haven’t left this town in years, not much else to think about,” I chuckled. “I guess I was scared that you had gone off, found cooler friends, forgotten about me... and I was just here. Stuck. Waiting for someone to make me feel the same way you did.”

“I didn’t forget about you,” she replied. “You have my number now... maybe we could keep in touch when I leave. I’d love to show you around D.C.”

“I’d like that,” I grinned, blushing a bit. 

Emily waltzing back into my life may have been one of the best things to ever happen to me.

--------------------------------------------------

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[notnctu]

YAYYYY CONGRATS FOR GETTING MOAR FOLLOWERS, i knew it, u guys are awesome xD, cant believe ure open for request, can i request a scenario for Donghyuck please? the plot is he was her one night stand that she met again when visiting her cousin at the hospital, he was her cousin doctor. Feeling a little hurt but delighted to see her again, Donghyuck flirting with her every time she visit her cousin, after that is up to u, gosh hope my plot doesnt make you guys uncomfortable -_-;;v thank you

AHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH <3 thank you for requesting, and your plot was totally fine :) i had a fun time writing about dr!donghyuck hehe i secretly like hospital aus lmaosdinjfhew idk why.. you can read it under the cut and i hope you like it <333

(i may or may not have written this while i waited for my jury duty service lol)

-author doie ❀

p.s. soft reminder to everyone that requests are now closed. we apologize for the wait and are doing our best to finish them all! thank you for your patience :)

doctor!donghyuck x reader genre - brief mention of fucking, mainly fluff

when donghyuck clocked in for his graveyard shift, he wasn’t expecting to see the lovely person he spent the most eventful night with. donghyuck finally understands why you left so fast after the one night stand. his new patient is your cousin, odd how fate works sometimes.

he isn’t entirely sure if you’d remember him, actually a bit hesitant to approach you despite needing to give you an update on your cousin’s progress. he’s missed you, not wanting to admit it to himself, but he spent nights wondering if he should call you .. or if you really just saw him as a one night stand.

maybe it was a shot at his pride when you didn’t follow up with him, not knowing that you left because you had gotten a call about your cousin’s accident. just as he walks toward you, you look up from your phone and your mouth hangs slightly open.

and he stops at your cute reaction, remembering how honeyed your moans were in bed and how soft your skin felt underneath his fingertips. he clenches at his clipboard and shakes himself from the sudden flashback.

“donghyuck...” you call his name and it’s absolute music to his ears. your eyes drop to the classic lab coat, spectacles that sit at the tip of his nose. you fucked a doctor? the realization is hitting you like a wall of bricks. “...doctor lee.. i mean.”

he snorts at the formality, “you can just call me donghyuck.. what a surprise, y/n. i didn’t think the next time we meet would be here.”

he eyes you through his glasses, examining your casual laid back attire that is a contrast to the tight clubbing outfit he had met you in. your face is stripped down to just your features, as stunning as he remembers.

“right, the universe is strange.” you laugh awkwardly, like the confidence in your tone only exists in bed. however, he finds this change rather sweet and charming. the only image he knows you by is the hot individual who left shameless hickeys across his neck. this difference completes you, like the icing on a cake.

“i don’t mind though. i’ve been hoping to see you again.” he smiles, dropping any sense of professionalism that he learned in med school.

you’re flustered by his random flirtation, “really? you didn’t seem like you wanted to keep seeing me.”

donghyuck’s throat goes dry, knowing too well that his pride had stopped him from reaching out. “i’m not the best with ... communication.”

“your pride get in the way?” it’s a rhetorical question, but his nervous laughter gives enough confirmation. he looks through his files, finally aware that he has a job to attend to.

“your cousin is progressing well, we can anticipate a speedy recovering in about two weeks time.” you release a deep sigh at the good news, relieving every bad energy that was pent up before.

“that sounds great. thank you for your work.” you smile, “i’m so happy that i could kiss you!” you shout rarely loudly, the receptionists eyeing you strangely over the counter top.

but donghyuck doesn’t seem phased, instead a smirk grows on his face. “we can save the kissing for later, sweet cheeks.” he leans down to whisper into your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.

he winks at you, before heading back to his patients, looking forward to see you around for the next two weeks.

-

day after day, donghyuck rushes to your cousin’s room in hopes to coincidentally run into you. and if you two can’t feel the tension in the room, everyone else can.

without a fail, he sly bids you a compliment every time he sees you.

“my day is always a whole lot better when i see you.”

“good afternoon, beautiful.”

“you manage to take my breath away effortlessly, in a literal medical sense, it’s not a good thing. but im speaking figuratively in this case.”

donghyuck is so cute and much more talkative than the night you two shared. but when hes interacting with nurses or patients, he’s serious with a few lighthearted jokes to get people to smile. it’s almost like he couldn’t get any better.

and every time you leave, he always finds you to say “i’ll miss you, drive safe”

today is a little different. you catch him lingering in the lobby, chatting with a few receptionists. “goodbye donghyuck.” you grin at him, not wanting to interrupt his conversation.

but as you walk by, he holds your hand to stop you. “i’m getting tired of missing you all the time.” he starts, walking you to the hospital door. hand in your hand. you’re stunned at the action, wondering if the hospital staff are watching the two of you.

“i want to see you outside of the hospital. i want to be with you, talk to you enough to where i don’t have to be polite in our messages.” he lightly squeezes your cheek, stopping at the automatic doors.

and he gathers your hands together, “are you free for dinner tomorrow night?”

you gasp at the offer, feeling butterflies flutter at the pit of your stomach. “yes.”

“great. then, ill miss you until then, drive safe.” he pats your head lovingly, his heart pounding at your acceptance. he feels like he’s soaring in the clouds.

[ouyangzizhensdad]

As a mdzs/novel canon reader, how do you feel about the roles of Wen Ning and Wen Qing in mdzs vs cql?

I think one of the most important thing (for me) when thinking about how wn and wq are explored in cql is to remember the following two factors:

1. While the actress denied it, it seems that wq was indeed supposed to be a love interest for wwx in cql before fans made a fuss about it on social media: this is supported by the fact she was introduced as a main character in early talks of the series, the actress got the biggest $$ contract after xz and wyb, we got some leaked photos from set showing scenes that were filmed or were intended to be filmed but didn’t end up in the final cut of the series, and the simple reality that wq’s presence in the story was increased significantly (while her impact on the plot remained the same). Tbh that they chose to cast meng ziyi and introduced (and kept) a frankly bizarre (on a thematic and plot level) romance subplot between jc and her is proof enough for me that she was supposed to be a love interest for wwx (albeit a tragic one).  

2. CQL fundamentally modified the role of the Wens within the narrative by changing the whole subplot about modao, which then altered the role of wq and wn to a degree, and with which characters they interacted and when.

For me, these had an impact on the overall quality of the storytelling, particularly in regards to wq and her character (under the cut because I don’t know how to be brief).

WEN QING:

1. Even if she had been instructed by the director to play wq as close to possible to the way she was portrayed in the novel, I don’t think Meng Ziyi could have done it; for me, she doesn’t have the right presence, physicality, etc. to achieve a good performance of wq. Novel wq has such strong boss energy; she is high-ranking officer even if she is removed from the fighting, the best doctor, and someone who was in charge of the yiling supervision office, and she’s constantly snapping at people (I love novel!wq.........). Meng Ziyi just does not manage to embody that powerful energy--she has that female lead type of presence, and it just doesn’t mesh with who wq is.

Wen Ning nodded, somewhat embarrassed, “My sister. She’s really powerful.”

She was indeed powerful.

Wen Qing could be considered a famous cultivator of the QishanWen Sect. She wasn’t a daughter of the QishanWen Sect’s leader, Wen Ruohan, but instead the daughter of one of Wen Ruohan’s cousins. Although they were far cousins, Wen Ruohan had always had a close relationship to this cousin of his. On top of that, Wen Qing was exceptional in the liberal arts and studied medicine as well. She was a talent, and thus she was rather favored by Wen Ruohan. She often followed Wen Ruohan to the banquets of the QishanWen Sect, which was why Wei Wuxian found her face familiar. She was a beauty, after all. He had also heard from somewhere that she had an elder or younger brother. But, perhaps because he wasn’t as talented as Wen Qing, not many people talked about him.

2. In my opinion, making the wq a more active agent in the wen plot also takes away part of what defines her arc and character in the novel, and what she represents as a figure within the conflict. Let’s remember, we are only introduced to wq in the novel after Lotus Pier was burned down and jc lost his core--she is absent until then, and that is the point: she is not involved in the conflict. While morally upright, she is someone who passively benefits from the ills committed by her sect and who only takes calculated risks to help reduce the suffering committed to others. She becomes guilty by association despite never actively hurting others or helping wrh’s cause. It feels more organic and complex than the throne-room!threats we see in cql, and having her carry on missions for wrh.

Wen Qing cut him off, “What the Wen Sect does doesn’t represent what we do. We don’t need to be responsible for the Wen Sect’s wrongdoing. Wei Ying, there’s no need to look at me like that. There’s a beginning to all debts. I’m the office leader of Yiling, but I was ordered to take the position. I’m a medic, an apothecary, I’ve never killed anyone, much less touched the blood of the Jiang Sect.”

It was true. Nobody had heard of any lives lost by Wen Qing’s hands. There were always many cases that people wanted her to take over. It was because Wen Qing was one of the Wen Sect’s people whose way of doing things was actually normal. At times she could even put in a few good words for people in front of Wen Ruohan. Her reputation had always been good.

/////

Lan Xichen responded a moment later. “I have heard of Wen Qing’s name a few of times. I do not remember her having participated in any of the Sunshot Campaign’s crimes.” 

“But she’s never stopped them either, “ Nie Mingjue countered.

“Wen Qing was one of Wen RuoHan’s most trusted people, “ said Lan Xichen. “How could she have stopped them?” 

Nie Mingjue spoke coldly. “If she responded with only silence and not opposition when the Wen Sect was causing mayhem, it’s the same as indifference. She shouldn’t have been so disillusioned as to hope that she could be treated with respect when the Wen Sect was doing evil and be unwilling to suffer the consequences and pay the price when the Wen Sect was wiped out.” 

[...] One of the sect leaders spoke up, “What Nie-zongzhu said is quite right. Besides, Wen Qing is one of Wen RuoHan’s most trusted people. You’re telling me she never participated? Well I don’t buy it. Is there any Wen-gao without a single drop of blood on their hands? Maybe it’s just that we haven’t found out about it yet!”

3. Making wq interact with other characters before the qiongqi path incident also makes their motivations harder to understand. For instance, jc having feelings for wq makes his motivations and actions during the aftermath of the sunshot campaign more muddled, imo? In the novel, instead, jc’s unwillingness to help the wen remnants is used to showcase a foil between jc’s and wwx’s understandings of duty/responsibility:

“You burn this corpse right now and return to them all these leftovers of the Wen Sect. That’s the only way to make the subject die!” As Jiang Cheng spoke, he raised his sword again, preparing to attack.

Wei Wuxian clenched his wrist.

“Are you joking?! If we return Wen Qing and the others to them, they’d meet nothing but a dead end!”

“I doubt you’ll even return all of them. Why do you care what kind of end they meet? A dead end it is, then—what does it have to do with you?!”

Wei Wuxian finally lost his temper. “Jiang Cheng! What- What do you think you’re talking about?! Take it back—don’t make me give you a thrashing! Don’t forget. Who was the one that helped us burn Jiang-shushu’s and Yu-furen’s corpses? Who returned to us the ashes that are in Lotus Pier right now? And who took us in when we were chased after by Wen Chao?!”

Jiang Cheng, “I’m the one who fucking wants to give you a thrashing! Yes, they helped us before, but why in the world don’t you understand that right now any remnant of the Wen Sect is a target of criticism! No matter who they are, with a surname of Wen they have committed a most heinous crime! And those who protect the Wen are at risk of being condemned by everyone! All the people loathe the Wen-dogs so badly that the worse they die the better. Whoever protects them is against the entire world. Nobody would speak for them, and nobody would speak for you either!”

4. Adding more screen time for wq and more interactions with other characters prior to/during the sunshot campaign ends up adding nothing in terms of her arc or her impact on the plot. While wq is a secondary character in the novel, she is crucial to the plot: her skills and her agency shape so many crucial moments and events in mdzs. Take away pretty much any scene with wq in the novel, and the events of the novel have to change. However, when it comes to what has been added in cql to make her more prominent in the series, it does not feel like it brings anything of significance to the plot. In the end, what is the point of the hair comb moment? it never sways jc to help or feel really conflicted over not helping the wen remnants? it never changes anything about the way wq acts? jc doesn’t come to wq’s defense at jinlintai the way lwj does. At best, it just adds to jc’s manpain. In the end, what’s the point of having a cute moment between wq and jyl, except to reassure viewers that wq is a good person and cares for her brother (all things we known in the novel in spite of the absence of this scene). In the end, what is the point of spending screentime with wq looking for the yin iron in the cloud recesses, and wwx being suspicious of her, if anyway lwj and him stumble upon it by chance? If wq were the love interest, it would make more sense to just pad up her screen time in the series, and these moments would probably pay off more. But as it is, it just feels very aimless and even at times confusing. 

5. i 100% headcanon novel wq as a lesbian and the fact that they even suggest she might have feelings for jc is an attack on my gay rights ): 

WEN NING:

1. Gosh I love wn. I think his role in the novel is so important and i have too much to say to end up saying anything remotely coherent. I also have to say that I love the actor they chose. Of all the casting choices, I’d even say it is the best of the entire series in my opinion. He really captures the essence of wn and he looks so adorable. So cute. 

2. Overall, i think cql did not change too much in terms of his arc and characterisation (the shy but fiercely protective person, coming to terms with what he lost, finding wen yuan and reconnecting with his history, finding a path of his own instead of following his sister/wwx). However I do find that some of the interactions are more meaningful in the novel. For example, making wwx and wn’s first interaction happen in the cloud recesses takes away the importance of wwx standing up against wn’s own sect members on their own turf. The fact that wwx and wn see each other more in the CQL verse also undermines the weight of wn’s choice and how significant wwx’s actions and words were to him, since he was ready to go against his sect for someone he’d met once. Once!!!! It says so much about wn and what his life was like--and how much impact wwx’s acts of kindness and care could have. If I let myself I would just end up quoting back most of Poison - part 4.Okay, I will just quote this part:

Red seeped through Wen Qionglin’s face to even the bottom of his ears. There was no need for others to beckon him away; he fled self-consciously. Wei Wuxian chased after him, “Hey, don’t run! Uh… Qionglin-xiong right? Why are you running?”

Hearing his name called from behind him, Wen Qionglin finally stopped. Head hanging low, he turned around. It seemed as though shame rippled from his head to his toes as he stammered, “… I’m sorry.”

“Why are you telling me you’re sorry?”

“You… You recommended me… but I made you lose face…”

“How did it make me lose face? You haven’t really shot in front other people, have you? You were nervous?”

Wen Qionglin nodded. Wei Wuxian continued, “Have some confidence. Let me tell you the truth—you shoot better than everyone in your sect. Out of all of the disciples whom I’ve seen, no more than three people are better in archery than you.”

3. I do wish wn as the ghost general was scarier and more violent in cql, but they tamed all of the horror/violent/gory aspects of the novel so it was to be expected. I just love contrasts.............