#but i kept intervening because she kept cooking it how i didnt want her to

[feline-insolitum]

had a pots flare up and thought i was gonna die while i was making dinner for my family its ok though they all thought it was yummy

[cryinggameff]

Sixty-nine

Randi

Cayden and his friends were drinking and doing god knows what else while watching the game. I had agreed to let him host the party here, which i was kind of regretting because they were loud as hell and it made it hard to take my mid day naps. I had left for a bit to go and pick up some groceries so i could make some food for them to eat plus some snacks and such and now i was back home. I walked past going to put the stuff in the kitchen.

“Baby, you back?” Cayden said, getting up and coming to the kitchen.

“Yeah, just went to target,” I said, taking stuff out of the bag.

“How’s my baby?” He put his arms around me to grab my belly.

“Active. He’s been jumping around all day,” I sighed. He moved his hand around.

“That’s because he’s a little baller. Or maybe a gymnast if it’s a girl.”

“Mmhm,” i said, putting my hand over his. Somebody scored and the guys got all excited. We both looked over. I started taking stuff out the bags. Cayden removed his hands and started going back to the living area. I glanced at him and saw his jaw was locked and arms flexed. I was confused. He walked up to Rambo and smacked him on the back of the head.

“Damn man!” Rambo jumped. He turned around and Cayden grabbed the blunt that he must have just lit out of his mouth.

“I told your slow ass not to be smoking in my house when my wife is pregnant. Are you dumb?  That’s my kid you fucking with bruh,”

“My bad Cayden, I forgot,” he said quickly. “I’m sorry man,” he said. Everyone else looked to see what Cayden was gonna do. I already knew what he was planning to do and considering he was China’s man and what not i couldn’t have them falling out or that would make things awkward for all of us. I put the milk I was holding down. I reluctantly intervened.

“It’s ok baby,” i said to him from the kitchen. He looked up at me and I gave him a look to calm down and of course he listened and backed down. He just put the blunt out and came to throw it out in the kitchen. He came up behind me and wrapped an arm around me again.

“Sorry,” He said by my ear just so I could hear.

“It’s ok,” I said, leaning up to kiss him. I wasn’t mad, after all he was right, it was bad for the baby. Cayden had stopped smoking, around the house anyways, all together. It was cute how concerned he was about the baby. He kissed my shoulder and I giggled.

“She’s already pregnant dog, give it a break,” ty said as he came strolling in to the kitchen to open the fridge. I blushed but laughed.

“Hey! I just got those,” I complained. But nobody was listening. He was long gone and they had broken into a play fight, crashing on to the floor and rolling around like children. “You’re 26 years old,” I grumbled, picking my rolls off the floor.

I made some stuff for the guys and then took my food upstairs to eat and watch some shows.

I ended up falling asleep after eating, but woke up a few hours later with terrible heart burn. That was happening a lot now. I would take it over being nauseous 24/7 like in the beginning, but it was still very uncomfortable. I went downstairs to go find some tums and realised Cayden and his friends were gone. I looked at my phone real quick and Cayden had texted me saying he was gonna go in to work. I got some tums and some milk and went back to the bedroom. I decided to give Cole a call because i hadn't talked to him in a while.

"Hi Colebear,"

"Hey lil mama. How you doing?" he asked.

"Im ok, just tired and sick all the time," i complained.

"That sounds horrible," he said. "How much longer you got anyways? Tryna make sure im there when the baby gets here."

"Still have like 4 months. Im ready for it to be over, and i just wanna hold my baby already." I groaned in frustration.

"When we gon find out if its a boy or girl? How am i supposed to buy them some swag if i dont know?"

"I was supposed to find out a while ago but i kept missing my appointments. Im going in a few days, should find out then."

"Word? aight keep me posted."

"I will," i said, "so whats up with you and Ty. He came to my house a week ago and from what he said yall had some drama when he visited." I was being nosy as usual.

"Aint no drama," he mumbled.

"What did you do?" i asked in an accusing tone. He sighed.

"I may have iced him out a little."

"Why?" i asked, confused.

"Things were getting...intense."

"Thats how a relationship works Cole," i pointed out.

"I know," he said simply. I smiled a little bit.

"I get it. I was the same way when Cayden and i started getting serious. It terrified me. It's scary to love someone."

"So what did you do?" He asked.

"Well Cayden didn't really give me an option to run. He followed me every time, " i laughed. "Eventually i just got tired of trying to run away and i just dove in. Now i'm married to the fool and carrying his baby."

"Diving in sounds terrifying."

"It is," i bit my lip, thinking back to when Cayden and i were still dating. "But its worth it."

"Ugh. I cant with this sappy shit right now. Im bout to go to practice and i dont need to be in my feelings while tackling a bunch of dudes."

"Okay fine, ill drop it for now. But you need to just accept you love him and move on. Don't overthink it," i said seriously.

"okay mom."

"Oh God, can you imagine someone is gonna be calling me that soon," i said, more to myself.

"I can see you as a mom. You always taking care of people or helping them fix their lives, even when they didnt ask," he laughed.

"What can i say, i dont know how to mind my business," i shrugged.

"Lowkey im the same," he said. "But i gotta go."

"Okay babe, have a good practice. Ill talk to you later." He said bye and then i hung up.

Cayden

"Yo, How's the shipment going?" I asked him, referring to a deal i had going with Sean. He was organising the order while i handled the logistics and such.

"Man i don't think we have enough here. We gotta bring some from the other warehouse. I was gonna call Pat but i wanted to run it by you," he got up and i followed him out to the balcony looking down to the rest of the warehouse. It was busy with niggas at work like usual, organised by product.

"What he want?" i asked.

"Coke mostly, but he talking about he got some guy wants a bunch of crystal. We got 10, 20 pound max here," he said, nodding at the back of the room where the guys were breaking and weighing a fresh batch.

"Who the fuck wants to buy that much crystal?" My brows came together.

"Man who knows, thats your boy, ask him. Im just saying, thats pretty much all our supply from both warehouses, and we have one cook" he said. I nodded because he was right, but that wasn't my biggest concern. It was just weird to me that Sean was suddenly moving crystal when he had never before. I couldn't help think back to the time Randi asked if Sean could be trusted and wondered if she was on to something.

"Dont call Pat. Not yet anyways. Imma have a little meeting with Sean first," i decided.

"Got it," he nodded.

"By the way, thanks for checking on Randi while i was gone," i said. He shrugged.

"Uncle duties and what not," he smirked, "how she doing anyways? You weren't playing when you said she was emotional."

"She tired all the time, i feel bad. She go off on you?" I laughed.

"Nah, just crying and shit. I don't know how you do it."

"Ill take crying over when she gets angry."

"True," Ty nodded. I checked my watch.

"I gotta go find Keisha, i need her to get Sean here. I aint going to Cali, i just got back," i looked around a bit.

"She was here with Kassie earlier, training and what not. How you get her to come back anyways?" he raised a brow.

"I begged," i chuckled. " Why? you still got a crush on her? Thought you were all about the D now."

"Fuck you Cayden," he said, turning to go back to his office. I laughed and went off to find Keisha.

I ended up just calling Keisha from my office and she came up.

"Hey, sorry, Kassie was showing me around. She just left," she said.

"It's all good. I need you to do something for me though. 2 things actually."

"Sure, what is it?" she pulled out a pen and notepad.

"I need you to get Sean here. ASAP."

"Got it," she nodded.

"Also i need you to book me a trip, for 2. Jamaica, not business. Anytime in the next month or so," i looked up from my phone calendar.

"I'll get right on it..." she paused. "It's sweet. I mean, im assuming it's for your wife."

"Yeah it is. Gotta keep her happy," i shrugged. She smiled. Then she seemed to remember something and pulled out her phone

"Oh before i forget, the accountant is coming tomorrow. Just a reminder. Also, your calendar says its Ty's birthday soon, do you want me to arrange anything?"

"Remind me an hour before tomorrow. Get a gift for me, Randi is doing the rest. She throws unnecessary parties, its kind of her thing," i rolled my eyes.

"Okay then. Ill go start on this," she said, turning for the door.

"How was the training by the way?" i asked. Kassie had been here the whole time i was gone, showing her the ropes

"Good. She was really nice. She had a lot of great things to say about you. But i'm not surprised, you're a nice guy Cayden. I cant tell you how much this job means to me, my son too," she brushed her golden curls aside. "I mean i made decent money at the club, but...this is a lot better," she bit her lip. I nodded.

"You should have called me, I always cared about you Keisha," i smiled at her gently seeing her get emotional. She was all tough exterior, it was rare to see this side of her.

"I was embarrassed," she shrugged.

"You aint gotta be. How people make money is none of by business. Bur don't worry, i pay my assistants a lot. You gotta put up with my ass, just wait, you'll be sick of me soon." She laughed.

"Thanks Cayden," she smiled.

"You're welcome," i said simply. She left and closed the door behind her.

Once she was gone i called Randi to check on her.

Randi

Cayden called me just after id gotten off with Cole. He asked how i was and then he was telling me about what he was doing and when he would be home. Then i heard someone talking in the background, it wasn't a guy though, it was a female voice.

“Who is that” I said.

“Who’s who?” He asked. I sat up straighter in the bed chair.

“The chick talking in the back ground,” i said. I couldn't think of any reason for there to be a girl in his office at the warehouse. I knew there were a few girls who were involved in selling and what not but Cayden didn't spend time talking to pedlars or people lower in the chain, he handled all the big time stuff. I started to wonder if he wasn't really at the warehouse but i didn't see why he would lie.

“Keisha,” he said, as if that meant anything. “My assistant.”

“When did you get an assistant? You don’t like anyone, how’d you even pick someone.”

“I told you months ago that I needed an assistant baby,” he reminded me. This was true but still.

“Hm,” I said simply.

“So we good then? I’ll see you in a few hours,” he said.

“Okay,” i said, hanging up. I had been too annoyed to say bye or I love you.

Why would he get an assistant without telling me? If that even was his assistant. I knew there was always random girls walking around that definitely weren’t assistants, the business kind anyways. I wondered what this Keisha girl was assisting Cayden with and my blood started to boil. I tried to not be this person but pregnancy also had me a bit mentally unstable and I wasn’t particularly confident right now. Was Cayden fooling around with another girl because i was becoming the size of a whale? I panicked and started to get up off the bed and pulled on a sweater.

I wasn’t really sure what I was doing until i was driving for 20 minutes and leaving the city to go towards the warehouse. I never came here on my own and I started to second guess myself as I pulled up and security immediately posted up. I got out of the car and locked it. One of the guys looked familiar though and I was pretty sure I’d seen him before.

“Are you lost shawty?” Another guy said, licking his lips in a disgusting way and looking down at me. I was about to release all my fury on him when the familiar guy spoke up.

“That’s Cayden’s wife you idiot” he said. The previous guy shrunk back.

“My bad,” he said quickly, head down.

“Should i get Cayden for you?” The familiar guy asked. I shook my head.

“I know my way,” I said, motioning to the door. They paused but moved out of the way. I adjusted my cardigan and went in. People stared at me because i rarely came period let alone on my own. Also I was pretty pregnant now which drew attention. I went upstairs to the offices and stopped in front of Cay’s. I debated whether or not to knock then decided against it. I opened the door and walked in.

Cayden looked up and his face went very confused when he saw me. He was in the chair and a girl stood beside him, bent over and pointing to the computer screen.

“Randi? What the fuck are you doing here?” He said. My face must not have looked happy because he quickly got up. “I mean is everything ok? Is it the baby?” He came over and put a hand to my lower back. I immediately checked his hand for the wedding band which was there.

“The baby’s fine,” I said, looking him over for lipstick, makeup, anything.

“What’s going on then?” He asked. I looked up at the girl standing and starring at us. Cayden looked up. “Keisha can you give me a minute with my wife,” she stood for a minute looking which was strange but then she shuffled out. I was looking around his office looking for any signs of anything messy when Cayden put a hand to my cheek. “Baby, What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” I mumbled, feeling like the biggest fool.

“You drove all the way up here for nothing. Nah,” he shook his head. I choked up, I couldn’t say I came because I thought you were cheating.

“I don’t feel good,” I lied. I did feel sick to my stomach all of a sudden but more out of guilt. Guilty that I’d thought he’d do something like that and also because the way he looked worried now that he thought I was sick.

“Maybe I should take you to the hospital,” he said, feeling my forehead.

“No I’ll be okay,” I said quickly. “I think I just need to go home,”

“I’ll take you,” He said “someone will come pick me up after.” I agreed. He held me all the way out of his office and down the stairs. Once we got in the car I was still thinking about the fact that he got an assistant and didn’t tell me. That was still sketchy, cheating or not.

“How do you know her?” I asked.

“Keisha?” He asked. I waited for him to lie because honestly I already knew the truth. I was simply testing him.  “Being 100, we used to fuck but it was a long time ago, and we were actually friends.”

“So is that why you didn’t tell me?” I asked.

“This about to be a problem isn’t it?” He asked. “Wait? Is that why you drove all the way down here?” Well shit.

“Well I heard a girl in your office,” I said, defending myself. He turned to face me then.

“And you automatically assumed I was what? Cheating?” He looked upset. I was supposed to be the one angry. “You don’t even trust me huh? Still,” he shook his head. When he put it like that he made it sound bad.

“It’s not like that-“

“What’s it like? You came running, so that’s what you thought.”

“Well...” I started. “Normally I wouldn’t be scared but look at me,” i gestured at myself. “I don’t look tight and right at the moment. And don't eve play me like you didn't just hire a girl you used to sleep with and not tell your wife about it.”

“You’re insane Randi. You’ve lost your mind. I ain’t even gon fight you cause you carrying my kid.” I got frustrated and was fighting the urge to break into tears so i just glared out the window for the ride home.

[elizabethrobertajones]

And about mary demon deal isnt it also important to mention that heaven brainwashed/forced them to be together? Mary canpnically didnt like John until heaven interwined. Who knows how much of that demon deal was even Marys free will and how much magical forces they were set up to birth the two vessels for michael and lucifer by that time she was only pregant with dean

Sorry I’m taking so long to dig through my inbox… I hope this was an “and” to something I reblogged/posted because it doesn’t sound like it links to anything else around it in my inbox :P

Anyway - Mary’s deal wasn’t when she was pregnant with Dean. It was 1973 when that happened, and 1978 the next time we see her in the past when she’s pregnant with Dean. However, we DO find out in 5x14 which is only the next episode after that that they’d been cupided to be together and so it throws back, really, to the first time travel episode with them when they were young lovers. (And in 5x16 we then see the time when Mary was arguing on the phone with John - not sure when that was but it seems late enough that Dean was walking and talking so if he was 4 already, and Sam was born, I’ve always thought might be a sign that once those bloodlines were made, the whole magic began to wear off >.>)

12x01 actually really made me sad, that Dean told Mary her whole first meeting John story as a way to prove who he was and how well he knew her life story, because it seems like he would either only know that from John, or if he’d hung around to talk to Mary in the past some more between scenes in probably 1973, asking how she’d met John and she could have told it to him fresh in her words (something about the way he said it all made it sound like it had been in her words)… Of course he’s actually telling her how she and John got hit by a cupid arrow and were forced to be in love, and I doubt he’d tell her later unless as things are getting worse between them all, he starts to see her as human in a way where he can share all the terrible stuff he’s keeping from her, including the version of her life story that only he and Sam (and Cas) know.

I suppose when Mary made her deal, anyway, it was both sides playing off each other to get what they want - the angels had the knowledge of the bloodlines, and in retrospect Azazel was searching for that bloodline, finding likely families (young couples - e.g. people who may be wildly in love and ready to start a family not because they just were but because Heaven made them that way) and the events of 1973 made him more than certain he’d found the right family and that if angels would intervene with time travel to mess with it, then probably whatever he threw at that kid would be filed under “what doesn’t kill him, makes him stronger” up to and including actually getting him killed :P

If he HAD found the right family, with angelic intervention happening, then chances were the young couple had been hit with a cupid arrow and would be already so in love with each other they’d do anything for each other - 5x14 shows when it’s corrupted, cupid-made love is irrational, exclusionary to everyone around them, and ultimately, uh… consuming. Ugh, now I’m thinking about the opening of that episode. Thanks. :P *attempts to delete from brain again* - anyway, he had a pretty good feeling that his sales pitch would work on her - that she wouldn’t pick her parents over John, or just reject him and run away and become a vengeance-obsessed hunter tracking him down or whatever (and Mary certainly had the skills to do that if she had wanted >.>)

YEDNope, sorry doll, that’s not on the table. But, think about it, you could be done with hunting forever. The white picket fence, station wagon, couple of kids, no more monsters or fear. I’ll make sure of it.

I always thought since season 5 that the cupid affected Mary to want to give up hunting - that she might not have liked the lifestyle that much but ultimately she would have kept on and become a hardened hunter after her teenage rebellion was done… Season 12 showing she kept on going back to it after she had her family, and that she never could quite leave it behind entirely, makes me even MORE sure that the only reason she ever wanted to get out was for John, and that was because if she didn’t settle down and have kids, no Sam and Dean, no chosen vessels, no apocalypse, and so she had to have that desire forced on her - she never even learned to cook, not growing up (so apparently never played house or could be persuaded to learn with Deanna right there happily cooking and being a housewife to the patriarch… OR ever felt the drive to throw herself fully into being a housewife once she ran away and started over with John and had the chance to lead exactly the life she’d supposedly dreamed of… Obviously taking into account older fashioned ideas of what the wife was supposed to do, and she might have been enlightened with 60s & 70s feminism for all we know but we never learn she so much as had a minimum wage job on the side or something never mind doing anything other than making food in any glimpse of the past… Seems she did just become a housewife and John supported them for all the show’s ever indicated)

So, yeah - I think it’s not just likely but the only reading that really makes sense to me, that Mary was brainwashed or compelled to do one thing after the other against her nature by angels and demons both in order to get her as far as burning on that ceiling. She probably was last herself before she met John, and herself again for the first time only after her resurrection >.> I mean, by and large she was going around acting like she wasn’t brainwashed, but I feel like she was probably kind of depressed and unhappy and I thought that BEFORE season 12 and then we found out she kept on going off hunting, and so now I think she was for CERTAIN depressed about being a housewife and had no idea what else to do between that and hunting. 

And she has so many similar traits to Dean, I now can’t stop comparing her and John to Dean and Lisa, except somehow in this case Dean looks like the happier one because he ONLY had PTSD and in a part had been guilt-tripped into going to them by Sam as a dying wish - though Sam had a good reason to assume it WAS what Dean wanted and Dean had said himself he saw himself happy with them. At least we can be somewhat sure he wanted to be there from his heart and loved them without any external complications… sure he wanted Sam back and that made it difficult once he was, but, I mean, Dean learned to cook while he was with them. Still, they were both depressed and messed up and for both it was only running away from an old life that would catch up to them one day…

I guess for Mary and Sam I’m already very sure their trauma is going to be dealt with one way or another - the whole YED stuff coming back is a biiit of a giveaway, never mind all the set up to begin with. Dean’s side of things with Mary is so much more complicated because as 12x01 showed with him having that story for her, he’s sort of the keeper of the family history; he’s the one who time travelled both times and saw all that, and he’s always been the one more invested in the memory of Mary, has more connection to her than Sam does, knew so much more about her… And he’s not telling her all this stuff they’d learned about her over the years, and I think it is his burden to decide to tell her or not because of the way he’s connected to the family story in such a different way to Sam. 

And I’m not totally sure if they will tell her, even now, because ignorance is bliss and though I think Mary might react better than Dean thinks, it’s still basically tearing down her entire life. She’s being taken down off the pedestal for Dean and I think maaaybe once he can genuinely talk to her as an equal, they might be able to talk about this. And the show can manufacture a reason to tell her… I really hope they do >.> 

She sort of deserves to know. I think ultimately she’d never accept she wasn’t at least partially responsible for her actions, but at least narratively she’s completely blameless as a total pawn (because of having never been a character with agency in the narrative as a fridged-before-the-first-title-card character) and the first time she has any true agency is 12x01. On the character level she still made a lot of choices and thought they were her own at the time and it wouldn’t be right for her to easily disown them (also for the sake of the stuff with her and Sam), but it might ease how she feels about it on the other hand >.>