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#but i still dont wanna do that so take this for now so u know im not lying
d3stinyist1red · 18 hours
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GIRLIE, YANDERE OLDER MAFIA BOSS!!(TAKE YOUR TIME IF YOU HAVE OTHER REQUESTSSSS!!💗)
ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ᴍᴀғɪᴀ ʙᴏss x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
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yan mafia boss who you work under, with him being your boss and your his right hand woman
yan mafia boss who treats you like you own him, following with whatever you say
yan mafia boss who doesnt like any medics touching him, wanting you to be one treating him
The medic was standing in front of him, clearly fearful for her life bc the man in front of her could kill her if she did the slight mistake. She tried to pat and help the wounds of the Mafia boss who smacked her hand away and huffed.
"Bring me my n/n, now." He said glaring at her as she quickly nodded, basically running to you. She told you about how he refused to let her help and touch him as you sighed. You rubbed your temple before nodding and smiling at her.
"Don't worry, Ill deal with him." You said politely, nodding at her before walking past her, going to the room where he was at. You opened the door and you saw the way his eyes lit up, and a grin landed on his usually nonchalant face. "Love!" He said, as you walked up to him.
"Why are always acting so stubborn to the medics? You know that they're there to help you, idiot." You said clearly irritated, making him pout and tilt his head. "But, I want you to help me!!...and have your hands all over my body..." He whined, grabbing your hand and resting it on his cheek, looking up at you with hearts in his eyes.
yan mafia boss who has to always be in constant contact with you
ʏ/ɴsᴅ𝟷ᴅɪᴄᴋʀɪᴅᴇʀ!
n/nnn
where are uuuuu
n/nnnnn
n/nnnn
...?
...
...
no reply?
Have other hoes?
YOU DO DONT YOU?!!!?!?!!?
i hate u.
You getting blocked.
dont talk to me. I know you hate me.
Okay, im going to kill my self.
...?
....
...
This is (yans name, yall could make sum up) cat, he just shot himself
do you love him
...
...?
baby you know that was all a prank
i love u
pls let me eat ur ass
i wanna slurp ur kitty so good that the only thing i could taste is u mami
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(seen 1 min ago)
ʏ/ɴsᴅ𝟷ᴅɪᴄᴋʀɪᴅᴇʀ!
ur rlly gonna leave me on seen?
ur lucky i dont come and cream all over ur face rn
pls touch me
yan mafia boss who has his bodyguards protect you no matter where you go
"Okat sigma 1, hawk tuah, ohio go protect n/n, you better fucking protect her with your life, ya hear?!" He said to his bodygaurds aggressively, scowling them down as they shook in fear,....i think one of them peed their pants...erm!
yan mafia boss who is madly jealous, putting a bullet into anyone's head he sees as threat for your love.
yan mafia boss who when you arent around, he struggles to sleep. He tosses and turns, his mind racing with scenarios about what they might be doing or who they’re with. "is she with that ugly bitch from work again?! Is she with one of my bodyguards?! Is she cheating on me?!" He hiccuped through his sobs, biting on his nails, hair all messy from tossing and turning throughout his sleep
He often wakes up in a cold sweat, feeling empty without them next to him. If you spends the night somewhere else, he'll start spamming you on everything even roblox.. If you dont answer within 5 mins, he immediately sends his men to try to find you, and paces around his house, restless waiting for your reply. bruh u were js buying sum takis...
yan mafia boss who is your boss who favors you a little too much!!! <333
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IM PROB GONNA UPDATE SOME MORE ON TUMBLR BUT IM STILL ON BREAK ON WATTPAD CUZ I LOST MY GOD DAMN PHONEEE
SORRY IF THIS IS SHORT I DIDNT RLLY KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR MAFIA BOSS YAN
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reel-fear · 4 months
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Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:
The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.
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2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]
3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.
4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]
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5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]
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Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]
At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]
6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.
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7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.
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He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]
8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!
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So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.
Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?
So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.
I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.
The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.
anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.
As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.
Also the books, the books slap.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#ramblez#bendy and the silent city#bendy the cage#for the record another reason Im making this post is bc some of the only good resources to learn abt why the bendy devs suck are some old#very longer videos and this is a very long post but I thought it was important to document the recent shit theyve been doing alongside some#of the worst past things theyve done bc Mike has been trying to misinform people on what happened but those videos are still great resource#if you want more info n such#long post#mike D#for anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt him since he doesnt go by mood anymore#sorry if this is rambley or emotional Im just so sick of these guys fr dskjhgskdfjghskdjhgkjhsd#I miss when I didnt spend my days stressed about the awful shit mike is gonna say next and how I would have to disprove it in a post later#or explain why its bad to have a cast of nothing but cishet white guys n constantly fight back against any push for diversity in said cast#genuinely its just tiring esp when u see other bendy fans give ignorant or very silly defenses/takes on those things#n then u lose a lot of respect for them bc they are speaking on stuff they dont know much abt so confidently and therefore misinforming#people or even encouraging very bad views on stuff like diversity n its importance#Im not saying people like that are bad people but it is stressful n upsetting when u see someone u thought knew better do that sort of thin#it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!#like please think twice before telling young artists making norman white was a tough and complicated decision it was fucking not the bendy#devs just think all their humans are white by default and dont wanna change that its been proven time n time again thats all it is#and defending them just bc u like a franchise they made is very very bad!! They are not ur friends!! they suck and we seriously need to#stop pretending they dont!! toxic positivity is only gonna make the fandom an absolute nightmare its not gonna make ANYTHING better#it just means people will be forced to PRETEND they never have negative thoughts abt the franchise n therefore make them burned out#just look at other similar fandoms please lets not make those same mistakes!!#sorry can u tell Ive been having just. A time recently#anyways back to making my queer ass bendy fan game full of so much diversity mike will prolly shit when he sees it DKFJGHKSDJHGKJHSD
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bunnihearted · 3 months
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the earth is getting hotter and hotter and nobody's doing anything about it but im misanthropic and depressive because i can see nothing that inspires hope 🤙
#sure... we CAN stop it...#but... most ppl are denying climate chrisis.... most ppl in the world are currently voting for rightists#(who are all against making improvements and trying to stop our imminent demise)#in fact.. ppl are voting for rightists and the right are making decisions that only accelerates global warming......#ppl in general dont care nor believe in this chrisis.. outside i often overhear ppl's convos and they say stuff like#'those crazy environmentalist freaks' 💀#and yk those few protestors that do that thing where they lie down on roads and stuff to cause an interruptance in trafic....#they're constantly verbally assaulted but also physically assaulted and run over#by ppl who just fkn HAVE TO GET TO THEIR 9-5!!! or they'll explode bc they loooove working sm#yeah i just dont know... tbh i think soooo many ppl#are like just plain dumb... there is hope if we actually decide to fkn do smth#but just putting your head in the sand and go lalalalal hha peace and love on earth humanity is amazing omg i love ppl 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 wont do sh#now you're just being childish and toxic and fake 🥴#ppl dont even wanna make small changes in their everyday lives for the environment... nobody is ready nor willing to do real things to chan#bc im sorry but skipping around and being a positive little uwu bean is just harmful.. bc theyre not acknowledging reality#and reality is that the earth is getting so fucking hot and it is only getting hotter and there is bno hope in sight#bc ppl are destined to be fucking stupid!!!!#i mean what if ALL of us just simply refused to participate in society?#ppl everywhere all over the world should just go outside and sit down and refuse to contribute to capitalism and the#then* force politicians into taking action#the issue with this? nobody fkn cares! nobody wants to do anything#the earth is being killed. but nobody believes in it bc they just think it's 'conspiratory bullshit' ....#so yeah ofc u can walk around and go nooooo dont hate humanity! we CAN stop it uwu 🥰👍#ummm ok so then why arent anyone doing shit? theyre all still travelling and working and caring abt dumb shit and going to concerts and buy#ng too much and throwing away food and riding their cars everywhere and just fkn doing soooo much damage to the earth in every single littl#thing they do...... they dont care.#plussss dont y'all know that environmental activists are like straight up murdered? bc they're capitalist enemy no 1.#in south america they'll kill CHILDREN who are dedicating their entire lives to fight for the earth...#if u even mention the global warming thing to normal ppl out in the world they'll sigh and shake their heads and tell u to stop being so dr#dramatic*
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merevide · 7 months
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hiiiii i have returned from the depths of the underworld (self imposed hiatus) (3 week break that felt like 3 years)
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orcelito · 2 months
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Gonna also get my license soon. This time for real.
Need to find that sheet of the driving times... hmmm
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ironmanstan · 1 year
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I am coming to the realization i have been slowly killing myself with work i think oops
#m thinking now and im like#i havent read ... anything consistently .. or watched anything .. or had time to like do anything#in genuinely so long#and i was like kinda becoming ok w it#my brain issues .. nothing matters i dont need anything all i need is me i dont need to have anyone or anything with me <- bad. stop it#part of this was the i need my dad to be proud of me braincell but well i win award i have 4.0 gpa and he still yell at me#deciding now to stop caring so much (i still do but ill ignore it) i need 2 be alive again i dont care#im so mad i dont even know .. im so viscerally angry like actually i dont even know what to do with that lmfao#my brother does shit all and u give him sm slack have NEVER treated him as bad as youve treated me#and nothing i do NOTHING is good enough or changes how u look at me#like idk he called me and i cried so much i got so fucking upset i fhkdhdkf ok. ok.#he will b like omg im so proud of u i love u so much ive always believed in u and i just think back to when#he yelled at me once like fiiive years ago and i was like u just make me feel so worthless all the time#and he was like yeah bc you are worthless#and im like hmmm idk bestie i dont think youve ever changed from looking at me like that and it is insanely obvious lmao#i dont even know bro im crazy. m insane got given an inch and tried to take a mile like omg i can actually be recognized as worth something#nevermind ill stop killing myself for that pipe dream now lol#m not even upset im just mad lmao i dont wanna hate my dad and i dont but every day i feel more and more like i should#vent
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toytulini · 7 months
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miniature crochet clown cloak experiment 1
pattern i more or less followed is here:
youtube
i made some alterations, mainly, the scale
#toy pic post#undescribed#clowns#clown doll#crochet#cloak#illjay#ive undone it now cos i didn't want to commit the yarn i was practicing with to the project which is also why the hood is a different color#cos i didnt want to cut it. mainly i did this to try to learn the project and shape and understand the concept without having to commit to#the full scale project. now that i have a rough understanding of the concept and where to start etc i might next try experimenting with#different stitches...and i have my foolish and hubristic gaze set on the idea of making a scalemail cloak now. i think i could do it.#should i? perhaps not. it will be so expensive and teeeedious and i still dont know which yarn id use. i used rhss the first time for the#gloves and its held up well but i think that would maybe feel a bit stiff for a cloak and not be very breathable if its like.#warm at ren fair u see. also im torn bc like i rlly wanna do a project w metal scales cos i like the weight they have and like. the feel#but i also Love to Glow. and i Already Have The Gloves.....so like.....#i should do more glow....#idk! im not there yet anyway. i also want to experiment w star stitch cos i think that could be pretty and its a fun stitch to do.#but also maybe i sjould just make a full size basic one w the cotton yarn i have just to use it up on a simple stitch cos like. the yarn is#a pretty color but i cant even really describe it as 'splitting' bc that would implay the strands were ever together to start#and Very Thin. so itll take forever and hurt my handsss#anyway. look at my clown#oh and the yarn is like#truboo? bamboo rayon?#Youtube
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aria0fgold · 6 months
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Got distracted and I ended up working on my drawing But then I realized a major mistake on it when I thought I was done with the star veil (yes, again. I changed up the stars at the tips of it, this veil is kicking my ass) and I was erasing stuff already so when I realized I'm like: FUCK-- undo undo undo undo und o un do u n d o. And now I gotta... move All those new lil designs at the tip, Again, so I'm like: Okay... alright... I'll do that Later. I'll write now cuz god Forbid I do anything in that design, it's all mistakes!
#aria rants#that star veil has trapped ME in a time loop of perpetually fixing the thing cuz im never done with it like#this is the messiest drawing ive ever done simply by the Amount of mistakes i have on it and the entire process of it like#past aria wasnt lying about the notes she put for me when i was lazy to do the star veil DAYS AGO but she was only thinking#that: haha future me is gonna bead All those lines >:D well lil did she know is that future her aint gonna bead those lines#anymore but the veil is STILL KICKING MY ASS HARDER THAN WHEN I TRIED TO BEAD IT ALL#also the designs at the tip were supposed to just be stars. but then sirius' heart happened and i was like: i need to put morse code on it#and normally id rely on the circle ruler but i alrdy used circles for the Inner beads. i needed a different kind of circle for the tips#and then i managed to somehow??? freehand a perfectly shaped egg so ive just been duplicating layer and moving#that egg cuz aint no way i can redraw that again. the first was a fluke i didnt know was possible. and i also didnt wanna#redraw the lil dash beads i made via the ruler so ive just been keeping two layers with just one tiny drawing each#of an egg and a slanted rectangle and ngl duplicating and moving those things take up way More of my concentration#than when im just doing the lines over and over again cuz i had to keep track of which layer has which and minimize it#by merging the morse code line ive finished (like once im done for the morse code ''you'' id merge that all tgt)#so i can keep myself from exploding out of incredible confusion on which layer is which but Now i gotta redo ALL THAT#i gotta redo the other ''i love you'' morse code at the right end cuz i Forgot. to leave. a space. at the end.#like the left end has a space (star) before the egg for the first dot of ''i'' but i forgot to do that for the right end.......#theres no space (star) after the rectangle for the last part of ''u''....... i need to move All that-- maaaaaaaaaaannnn#writing it is. ill do writing for now. writing is the best. at least then i dont gotta MOVE EVERYTHING once i made a mistake--
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lev-eye-athan · 1 year
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soon ;)
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nomaishuttle · 10 months
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now heres the thing is my rule is i have to live on my own for a year before im allowed to get a pet but also consider what if i had a little friend .
#in my heart i want a wawa so badly it hurts but alsoooo i worry quite a bit bc like. i work full time... so el wawa would be at home alone a#lot and one thing about the beautiful adorable majestic chihuahua is they have to pee every 3-4 hours. so i would have to have some way to#let them out OR keep them outside while im at work but another thing is 1. apartments dont generally have backyards#2. chihuahuas get cold very easily .... i could do some ssort of doggy daycare but i fear that would be expensive .... and i hate pee pads#and would prefer not 2 use them so i dont rly have much optionn 😭 but i want a chihuahua so badly.#but ALSO. a kitty cat.... i love cats i think theyre really quite sweetsies and also i think they could handle living in an apartment bette#esp since famously cats use the bathroom indoors. u may know.#so... i could potentially get a kitty..... but also i dont want to get one until im absolutely positive i could take good care of it and i#feel like i could esp now that ive got a system that works so well 4 motivating me to do my daily tasks yk. and also i think if i had my ow#apartment id feel a lot safer just like. being up and around the apartment so thatd be good... but also pets r expensive. but also the apt#i just applied to is rly quite cheap (like 1050 a month) its income restricted but i qualify by like a lot LMAO... n this would be perfect#bc 1050 is likee. not even a full paycheck i could pay rent with 1 paycheck and still have like 150 left over and then my other paycheck fo#the month is fully mine... so i could save up lots#+ wsg is included in the rent whichhh is insane. adn the apartment is cute and Trust . alarm bells were going off a bit bc i was like maybe#this is too good to be true we all remember the 800$ scam incident. but its a verified listing and i checked the propertymanagers and theyr#legit... its even got a washer and dryer IN UNIT and also a fitness center which is good bc i wanna try n start doing more cardio...#IT EVEN HAS A FIREPLACE i dont particularly need a fireplace but its cool 2 have one i could make smores right in my very own living room#AND ITS NOT A STUDIO its a 1 br...#grahhh i rly rly rly want ittt ik i prolly wont get it but :[
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stonerzelda · 1 year
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I love my job but i rally will never understand the phenomenon of when some coworkers/people that work in different departments alongside u like. Decide they dont like u lol. Like i get along with nearly everybody so so so well but there are these 2 ladies that have been so needlessly cold/rude to me and for what. Why would you create a hostile work environment on purpose like does that not just make your own life harder lmao
#theyre nurses too like....idfk what it is theyre treating me like an idiot that doesnt take covid seriously???#i am literally the only person i know that still masks up in public + wven wears gloves if im going to a place that has high touch areas#yet ive been reprimanded twice for wearing gloves in an elevator (i didnt argue bc it was a fair assumption that i was working w cleaning#chemicals even tho i was actually wearing a fresh pair cuz i didnt wanna get my bleeding fingers to stain the sheets of the beds i make#which was pointless to argue w cuz i DIDNT WANNA BE RUDE LOL)#and then again on friday for wearing a cloth mask which Again was fair bc i shouldve been wearing a paper one#but ive been double masking with the paper + cloth now and this bitch is literally ignoring me when i greet her or wish her a good day#like she Rolled Her Eyes at me when i greeted her today WTF?? i still dont even know her name lol#she didnt even introduced herself or say hello or welcome like. she and this other nurse have just decided i suck infinity#i straight up Do Naught Understand like wtf do u gain from being an asshole. i didnt argue i thanked them both for their reminders like.#ok guess ill go fuck myself dam!!!!#ennyways a little worried now cuz i kinda got annoyed when she did that to me today i was just like 'ALRIGHT😐' and kept walking myself lol#whatever rant over sorry its just on my mind cuz its just so unnecessary#theyd know i take this shit seriously if they spent more than 15 seconds acknowledging my existence :/
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toastsnaffler · 9 days
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ughhhh
#mood rocketing downhill. thjs can only end well :-(#on my period and so tired and sad and lonely and i really really really want a hug im going to bash my head in with a rock#and a bit annoyed i spent ages testing climbing shoes today which ive been meaning to do for ages and the staff were rly nice#and i got a pair in the end but tbh i may end up returning them bc on reflection im not sure theyll work for my specific climbing style#what i rly wanted was a few sizes down of my current ones but they didnt have stock. and i tried the size i wanted in a variation of the#same shoe ie. same shape just not the rubber im after and they fit near perfectly so now im just thinking abt them instead.#u know what fuck it. ill take the train to my old city tmr and go to the climbing store there bc i checked online n they do have them.#ill just be constantly doubting my decision if i dont and i need to do smth nice for myself. and i can read on the train#and if they dont fit better well i have these other ones. and these ones are still nice! but im worried theyre more suited to sport/trad#and im primarily a boulderer... and i mean theyd def be good for some types of bouldering and i wanna get into sport/trad anyway but arghhh#whatever. fuck it. booked my train its not that expensive anyway just time. im tired of letting my decision paralysis get to me#and always settling for shit that makes me unhappy bc its not quite what i want but i talk myself into pretending im okay with it#when im not!!! and its unfair to myself and everyone around me to so consistently fail to identify n communicate my actual wants/needs#this isnt actually abt the shoes im upset for other reasons but at least projecting it onto this gives me a semblance of control#and gives me an easy way out of having to confront n deal with my avoidance...... it literally has no fucking limits huh.#well whatever. i need to food shop and eat and shower and then its okay ill play a videogame and go to bed early#its not been that bad a day i watched a movie this morning which was nice. and it was nice to cycle around the weathers great#probably havent slept enough. probably took my afternoon meds too late. probably just feeling lonely and tired and on my period....#tomorrow will be a nice day and monday i have climbing and there are other nice things coming up. puts down my head bashing rock#okay feeling a bit better now ive cried a bit and typed this. deep breath. wheres my shopping list.#.diaries#.vent#byeee
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bunnihearted · 5 months
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🐰🌧️
#so on my way home..#i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future#i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were#bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected#a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati#that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful#and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old#live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :)#you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :)#you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!!#you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u!#whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️#god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE#i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things#now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao#there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives#by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it.#or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me#only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die#bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything#for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!!#not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right#i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax#but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭#my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became#bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life
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afterthelambs · 1 month
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#(ramblings in tags. dont read if u dont wanna see criticism of female character writing in naruto)#(i think im pretty chill but it's still negativity so look away if u dont wanna see this)#my hot take (?) is that the naruto author is 100% a misogynist and that HAS to factor into your analysis of his female characters#im only getting thru the anime in increments bc the way theyre written is so frustrating#and fandom discourse surrounding them isnt great either#(i already know the gist of how it ends bc the ending is infamous for being hated so idc about spoilers)#from what ive seen everyone generally knows the female chars are written terribly and arent respected by the author#but dudebros hate them for gross misogynist reasons#and in contrast fans of those female characters get so defensive that they loop right back around to being misogynist#idk how to explain it but its odd seeing fans say “its empowering actually!” for the female chars to end up in miserable marriages#with less combat involvement than the male chars despite taking up the same profession/training#like yeah in a vaccum these conclusions are fine and completely neutral. but we're not in a vacuum. this was written by a male misogynist#how do i articulate that u can personally like characters w/out pretending misogyny didnt play a role in their development + conclusions#and critiquing the way female characters end up is not misogyny. its basic media analysis#like if i were to apply this to MHA i would say Midnight's death was poor writing in comparison to Nighteye's (narratively similar)#bc it supposedly was supposed to give development to the class. particularly Momo since Momo was the one she was rooting for#however hori did not bother showing more interactions between Midnight and her so it falls flat. her death even happens offscreen#and Momo wasnt there to confront the ppl who murdered her. it was Mina. so Midnight's arc wasnt completed satisfyingly#her death ends up becoming meaningless for Momo's development and purely for shock value so the war has stakes#as opposed to Nighteye and Mirio having a fleshed out relationship/backstory and a proper goodbye#there was a difference in the way the author wrote male mentorships and female ones. critiquing that is fine#now imagine if some Midnight fans went “its misogynist of you to downplay her death. she was noble and heroic and a girlboss”#it misses the point completely bc they interpret writing criticism as shade against her as a person#anyway thats what a lot of female character discourse in naruto feels like#and thats not even mentioning the cesspool of dudebro sexism but i avoid them so i dont see it as much#anyway in conclusion naruto would probably be a great series if the author wasnt a raging misogynist#sorry for the rant#my post
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shownusfool · 4 months
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parents overstepping boundaries!! we love to see it!! im gonna cry!! im so frustrated!! im so mad!! i don’t want to do this anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!
#my mom called a functional medicine place and made an appointment for me#whats funny is that she told me about this place on monday#got made at me for not calling them and making an appointment on wednesday#and has never even shared their phone number or website with me!#and today i was like oh ive got to call them mom can you give me their phone number#and two hours later she talks to me an apologetic mess saying that shes sorry but she just had to call them and that#she made an appointment for me without me asking and shes asking if i can take off work on monday so i can go to this office#that i dont even know where it is#bc she never sent me the address!!!#and i was like no. im not going why would you make an appointment for me. i cant even attend that#not even because i have work but because i have client visits scheduled and i have things to do#and shes like oh just call them and reschedule call them and reschedule and im just pissed off im pissed off im so frustrated#always on my case about my freaking physical health but never once stopping to think about my feelings#and i know she felt guilty bc she ignored me!!!!#and shes like im sorry i overstepped and i dont even wanna accept that bc you knew it was wrong the entire time and still!!!!!! did it!!!!!#like you could have just called them to talk about them and then go okay thank you#and then call or answer me and go hey daughter this place is legit here is their phone number like u asked here is their website#like you asked#and now call them and make an appointment#ITS THAT EASY#TO BE CONSIDERATE OF PEOPLES FEELINGS#BUT NOOOOOOO#GO AHEAD AND ACCUSE ME OF BEING A TERRIBLE#AFULT THAT DOESNT CARE ABOUT MYSELF THAT CANT MAKE APPOINTMENT THAT CANT DO SHIT#she was like i know you wouldnt have done it if i didnt ask and im like NO I WAS ABOUT TO DO IT I JUST DIDNT HAVE THE TOOLS TOO AND IT#CLEARLY WASNT ON THE TOP OF MY LIST FOR THINGS TO DO#im just upset IM UPSETTTTTTTTTTTTTTT LIKE REALLY THIS MAKES ME FEEL LIKE IM TERRIBLE
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lovsome · 1 year
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